NationStates Jolt Archive

The sun rose over the horizon like a great big radioactive baby's head with a bad sunburn, but then again it might just have been that Lisa was always cranky this early in the morning.

Mexicans are like flies?

Mexicans are like flies?


Ahhh stumble huh?

Clean as a whistle

Ahhh stumble huh?
ITS BACON!

.. what..?

http://img131.imageshack.us/img131/8858/police7mp.jpg

sharp as a pillow. =D

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter'.

Jane was toast, and not the light buttery kind, nay, she was the kind that's been charred and blackened in the bottom of the toaster and has to be thrown a away because no matter how much of the burnt part you scrape off with a knife, there's always more blackened toast beneath, the kind that not even starving birds in winter will eat, that kind of toast.

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
Love that one.

As stiff as a slinky.
Or...
As lithe as a fridge.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter'.

Such a person doesn't exist. If Ozzy can't do it, no-one can.

Im cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce

Her voice was pleasantly high, like the voice of a grown man struck repeatedly in the groin.

Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.

Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through.

I beat my dick like it owes me money.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a Guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge to a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p. m. instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

"Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill. ) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

i heard this at work the other day

"you two are always together, like jesus and buddha"

"He's more confused than Rosie O' Donnell holding up a 1st place trophy in a pie eating contest"

Analogies are like a comparison between two things that usually have nothing in common except for one fundamental property, altough this property is often only correlated through the use of a double meaning or a pun.

Very funny.
More, more!

-snip-
This post is fluffle-free, just for you.
That rocked.

This post is fluffle-free, just for you.
That rocked.
I agree, Cardzas you make life worth living sometimes (the rest of the time you are a pain in the ass though so it evens out :P)

This thread is like a cupcake frosted with semen.

As Fiona slowly drew the heavy velvet curtain aside, her eyes smoldered black, deep, and dark as inside the lungs of a coal miner, although it would be black in anyone's lungs if you could get in there because there wouldn't be any light, even in the pink ones of people who don't smoke.

He was writing as feverishly as Paris Hilton scribbling Thank You notes after an orgy in the Hamptons

Seems to me like a lot of people here can't tell the difference between analogies, metaphors and similes.

He was writing as feverishly as Paris Hilton scribbling Thank You notes after an orgy in the Hamptons


top 10 right there

Seems to me like a lot of people here can't tell the difference between analogies, metaphors and similes.
we're just broad-minded inclusive people.

Seems to me like a lot of people here can't tell the difference between analogies, metaphors and similes.

All right point taken

He:writing quickly :: Paris Hilton:Writing thank notes after an orgy in the Hamptons



Its way funnier the first way though

Pedants:humour :: wet balnkets: parties

A branch fell from the tree like a trunk falling off an elephant.

There was an advertising campaign a few years ago to get people to wear seat belts in the back of cars, It claimed that if you are not wearing a seatbelt in the back of the car, and there is an accident, that you would hit the seat in front with the force of a baby elephant. It made no mention of what said baby elephant would have to be doing to generate this force. Not really an analogy I know, but It seems in good company.

Just like (or as) a bicycle rider lifts his butt from the seat when he sees a bump coming, so Bob pulled back, emotionally, when Alice got angry.

It claimed that if you are not wearing a seatbelt in the back of the car, and there is an accident, that you would hit the seat in front with the force of a baby elephant.

This campaign also assumes that we are all familiar with the force a baby elephant generates. Describing a country as being, say, four times the size of Wales I can understand, as I have a reasonable idea what the size of Wales is, but when it comes to the force exerted by a baby elephant I draw a blank. Hey, maybe I just missed that day in school.

Baby elephants yield about 1/4 the force of baby blue whales.

Im feel luckier than a priest in a narcyleptic day care center.

Baby elephants yield about 1/4 the force of baby blue whales.

Baby African elephants or baby Asian elephants?

There was an advertising campaign a few years ago to get people to wear seat belts in the back of cars, It claimed that if you are not wearing a seatbelt in the back of the car, and there is an accident, that you would hit the seat in front with the force of a baby elephant. It made no mention of what said baby elephant would have to be doing to generate this force. Not really an analogy I know, but It seems in good company.

Baby elephants shouldnt ride in the backseat then. Seatbelts or not.

Baby African elephants or baby Asian elephants?

African for male whales, Asian for female whales

Losing is like fertilizer: it stinks for a while, then you get used to it.

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
I love this one.

life is a bitch, then you marry one

The little boat drifted gently across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

It's like having sex. It's a painstaking and arduous task that seems to go on and on forever, and just when you think things are going your way, nothing happens.

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

His fountain pen was so expensive it looked as if someone had grabbed the pope, turned him upside down and started writing with the tip of his big pointy hat.

This post is fluffle-free, just for you.
That rocked.
First time I assume? ;)

And thanks.

I agree, Cardzas you make life worth living sometimes (the rest of the time you are a pain in the ass though so it evens out :P)
Um.... yay?
Seems to me like a lot of people here can't tell the difference between analogies, metaphors and similes.
Essentially, metaphors and similes are forms of analogies; their usage in formal language is merely slightly different.
Similarity in some respects between things that are otherwise dissimilar.
A figure of speech in which two essentially unlike things are compared
A figure of speech in which a word or phrase that ordinarily designates one thing is used to designate another, thus making an implicit comparison

+2?

She was sending me more mixed signals than a dyslexic third-base coach.

She felt used and unwanted, like the two chocolate halves of an Oreo cookie after someone has already licked the cream out of them.

My underwear stuck to my backside like an All-Pro cornerback to a rookie wide receiver as I browsed through the seed catalog that had mistakenly found its way into my mailbox.

Chicken: it's like a cow, but different.

The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.

He felt a sharp tingle of excitement in his loins, as if a giant bear-trap had snapped close on his defenceless testicles.

The sun rose over the horizon like a great big radioactive baby's head with a bad sunburn, but then again it might just have been that Lisa was always cranky this early in the morning.
Considering that is a simile, with an open conclusion tacked on the end...

There was an advertising campaign a few years ago to get people to wear seat belts in the back of cars, It claimed that if you are not wearing a seatbelt in the back of the car, and there is an accident, that you would hit the seat in front with the force of a baby elephant. It made no mention of what said baby elephant would have to be doing to generate this force. Not really an analogy I know, but It seems in good company.

Reminds me of this spoof advert that went:

If you're thinking about drinking and driving this christmas DON'T forget to put on your seatbelt. A pedestrian can come through the car windsheild with as much force as a baby elephant. Remember "clunk" "click", when you're pissed.

Any analogy used in trashy romance novels. Examples:

"Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.

She was as easy as the "TV Guide" crossword.

She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

Considering that is a simile, with an open conclusion tacked on the end...
Well, then it definitely IS a bad analogy isn't it?