NationStates Jolt Archive


Oh, The Outhouses I Have Seen

Kiwi-kiwi
24-05-2006, 01:47
out·house n.
A small, enclosed structure having one or two holes in a seat built over a pit and serving as an outdoor toilet.

Which basically means it's a shack that stands over a pit of human waste. Outhouses vary greatly, from the homey to the horrible. Sometimes you might as well just use the bushes instead of braving one of these putrid shacks of stench. For their horridness, I have decided that outhouses deserve their own thread.

So, regail us with tales of the most memorable outhouses you have had the (dis)pleasure of experiencing.

In my own experience, the worst outhouse I had to face came with a rental cottage. In was infested with not one, not two, but three nests full of insects of the stinging variety. Every visit to the washroom I had to not only fight the regular fear of the dark stinking pit visible through the outhouse seat, but also the fear of getting stung.

However, in the same area was another outhouse, owned by some people who I think lived at their cottage year round, and whom my family had the pleasure of visiting. These people had the outhouse of the gods. The walls were painted a cheery purple colour, it had what looked like an actual toilet installed, the seat was cushy, there was air freshener, and best of all... no invading insects!
Big Jim P
24-05-2006, 02:02
I have seen a great many outhouses in my day. They were the shit.:D

*Sorry. I just couldn't resist*
Gun Manufacturers
24-05-2006, 02:09
stool·shed n.

*see outhouse
Azarbad
24-05-2006, 02:35
a portable one that someone at a concert I was working security at tipped over....with a poor chap still inside, and now covered in feaces.

*shudders* poor dude.
Carnivorous Lickers
24-05-2006, 03:32
A friend had a hunting cabin in upstate NY. Out back, facing opposite of the cabin, was his outhouse. It had a standard glass storm door on it, but who cares, it was on over a hundred acres he owned, its not like anyone was going to walk by. Except a tremendous black bear that ambled up as I was taking my early morning dump. He was there for the numerous blueberry bushes and didnt seem to upset I was there.
Bejerot
24-05-2006, 03:44
My great-uncles, newly citizenised back during the first World War, were at camp and noticed that there were long lines at the outhouses except for in front of one particular outhouse. Being the geniuses they were, they decided that they may use that one. A couple of weeks passed and they just used that latrine, no problem, but after a couple of days, the sargeant came up to them and said, "Behrends, you need to go see medical."

Well, Onkel Uwe und Onkel Harold were quite confused, but they followed the man.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I don't believe we have an appointment for medical."

'You don't need an appointment, boys, this is just a check-up."

"For vhat?" ventured Uwe.

"Well, you two have been using the latrines for the boys with sexually transmitted diseases, so you've gotta have 'em too."