NationStates Jolt Archive

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.....OF ATHIESM!*




*Athiesm is not to be confused with atheism. Athiesm is a doctrine adopted by the Holy Catholic Church of the Vicar of Jesus Christ which is headed by Pope Hadrianus I, also known as Loretta, except on Tuesdays when he's known as simply Ma'am or His Holiness.

I. Thou shalt have no gods

II. Thou shalt take the Lord's name in vain, as well as the Earl's, the Duke's and the King's, goddamn it.

III. There is no sabbath, save for secular days of rest sanctioned by the official government of that particular nation.

IV. Thou shalt consume the tender flesh of a babe smothered in a sauce of purest chocolate.

V. Thou shalt fornicate with any living being, remeber as Athiest we condone homosexuality, bestiality and Newfoundland.

VI. If thine elders are foul and imperious, place their ungrateful asses in a nursing home, ASAP.

VII. If it will save thine ass lie, lie with every ounce of talent you have.

VIII. Steal not from thine neighbo(u)r, however if thine neighbo(u)r, however if he is arrogant and shows off his possestions on a daily basis, destroy the expensive demons with a lead pipe.

IX. If there is sand in thine vagina, do not unleash onto others, but rather return to thine dwelling and delicately clean it.

X. Coveting is good. So covet daily.

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.....OF ATHIESM!*




*Athiesm is not to be confused with atheism. Athiesm is a doctrine adopted by the Holy Catholic Church of the Vicar of Jesus Christ which is headed by Pope Hadrianus I, also known as Lorreta, except on Tuesdays when he's known as simply Ma'am or His Holyness.

I. Thou shalt have no gods

II. Thou shalt take the Lord's name in vain, as well as the Earl's, the Duke's and the King's, goddamn it.

III. There is no sabbath, save for secular days of rest sanctioned by the official government of that particular nation.

IV. Thou shalt consume the tender flesh of a babe smothered in a sauce of purest chocolate.

V. Thou shalt fornicate with any living being, remeber as Athiest we condone homosexuality, bestiality and Newfoundland.

VI. If thine elders are foul and imperious, place their ungrateful asses in a nursing home, ASAP.

VII. If it will save thine ass lie, lie with every ounce of talent you have.

VIII. Steal not from thine neighbo(u)r, however if thine neighbo(u)r, however if he is arrogant and shows off his possestions on a daily basis, destroy the expensive demons with a lead pipe.

IX. If there is sand in thine vagina, do not unleash onto others, but rather return to thine dwelling and delicately clean it.

X. Coveting is good. So covet daily.

Okay, so that's what atheists are up to, eating babies and all that... what's Newfoundland, anyway?

Me likey

Can we get an XI related to the spelling of the word? :p

Okay, so that's what atheists are up to, eating babies and all that... what's Newfoundland, anyway?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newfoundland_%28disambiguation%29

Yes, because it's completely impossible to have a moral Atheist. I can understand it is wrong to kill without the encouragement of some book and beardy dude nailed to a cross. But, obviously, that's not good enough.

Okay, so that's what atheists are up to, eating babies and all that... what's Newfoundland, anyway?
Athiest, not atheist.

You see, there's a place called Canada. In Canada there are provinces. Newfoundland is part of one of these provinces, specifically Newfoundland and Labrador.

http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/images/canada/newfoundland.jpg

Me likey

Can we get an XI related to the spelling of the word? :p
No one reads the small print.

*Athiesm is not to be confused with atheism. Athiesm is a doctrine adopted by the Holy Catholic Church of the Vicar of Jesus Christ which is headed by Pope Hadrianus I, also known as Loretta, except on Tuesdays when he's known as simply Ma'am or His Holiness.

Liasia']Yes, because it's completely impossible to have a moral Atheist. I can understand it is wrong to kill without the encouragement of some book and beardy dude nailed to a cross. But, obviously, that's not good enough.
uh, Neo K is an atheist...

No one reads the small print.
*snip*

That's not very small

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Newfoundland? Isn't that that place where all the French people vow to seperate and elect useless seperatist MPs? (Gets pulled aside and has something whispered into his ear) Huh? You mean Quebec and Newfoundland aren't the same place? So which one is Newfoundland? Oh the one with it's own timezone and all of the fishermen got it, wow that would have been embarrasing if I said any of that with the Mic on eh? Wait, that red light means it was off right? Guys? Uh oh, I think I'm in trouble again.

Liasia']That's not very small
It was....but it grew up big and strong.

uh, Neo K is an atheist...

Yes, i thought he might be taking the piss. I just thought i'd have a rant. Not really directed at anybody...

It was....but it grew up big and strong.

Eats all it's greens (and chocolate babies) apparently.

No one reads the small print.

*Athiesm is not to be confused with atheism. Athiesm is a doctrine adopted by the Holy Catholic Church of the Vicar of Jesus Christ which is headed by Pope Hadrianus I, also known as Loretta, except on Tuesdays when he's known as simply Ma'am or His Holiness.

Exactly. I just wanted it to be an XI :p

Atheism = lack of a deity.
You can't treat atheism like a religion or a set of beliefs, like many christians and right wing nuts try to do.

Atheism = lack of a deity.
You can't treat atheism like a religion or a set of beliefs, like many christians and right wing nuts try to do.
You see, sonny Jim, it's not athEIsm, it's AthIEsm.

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.....OF ATHIESM!*




*Athiesm is not to be confused with atheism. Athiesm is a doctrine adopted by the Holy Catholic Church of the Vicar of Jesus Christ which is headed by Pope Hadrianus I, also known as Lorreta, except on Tuesdays when he's known as simply Ma'am or His Holyness.

I. Thou shalt have no godsGoddesses or anything that deems to be a superior being... for that is wrong thou art the superior being.

II. Thou shalt take the Lord's name in vain, as well as the Earl's, the Duke's and the King's, goddamn it.and the Queens, Empress, Princess... we gotta be equal.

III. There is no sabbath, save for secular days of rest sanctioned by the official government of that particular nation.actually, it's usually a Sixth as well as Sabbath. (weekend is usually two days off)

IV. Thou shalt consume the tender flesh of a babe smothered in a sauce of purest chocolate.But what if one preferrs BBQ sauce and saves the chocolate for their mate?

V. Thou shalt fornicate with any living being, remeber as Athiest we condone homosexuality, bestiality and Newfoundland.don't forget Pedeophilia.

VI. If thine elders are foul and imperious, place their ungrateful asses in a nursing home, ASAP.after tho securests thine place within thine elders Last Will and testiment... then also have them denounced as unfit of mind so that thine elders cannot change yonder will and testiment.

VII. If it will save thine ass lie, lie with every ounce of talent you have.and if Thine hast no talent for falsehood, then thine must resorts to blackmail or bribery.

VIII. Steal not from thine neighbo(u)r, however if thine neighbo(u)r, however if he is arrogant and shows off his possestions on a daily basis, destroy the expensive demons with a lead pipe.or herd thine child of promethius to do thine work for thee.

IX. If there is sand in thine vagina, do not unleash onto others, but rather return to thine dwelling and delicately clean it.and thine must record it and display thine activity prommently on yonder World Wide Web so that others may bask in the glow of thine cleanliness.

X. Coveting is good. So covet daily. as long as tho does not covet what is mine.
:D

Exactly. I just wanted it to be an XI :p
Oh, well, I'll have to call the printers.

Okay, so that's what atheists are up to, eating babies and all that... what's Newfoundland, anyway?
are you from the us? i'd really like to sit in on a us geography class, just for shits and giggles. we always had at least one globe in our primary geography classes on which you could find all sorts of places near and far. they're amazing things.

Am I not understanding this, or is this pointless?

are you from the us? i'd really like to sit in on a us geography class, just for shits and giggles. we always had at least one globe in our primary geography classes on which you could find all sorts of places near and far. they're amazing things.

...Geography class?

Am I not understanding this, or is this pointless?
This is NS General after all.

Well, it is one of my threads, so probably, but it does have inner meaning.

REALLY?! explain, please

No no, I seriously feel that this has meaning, I am just not seeing it.

Liasia']REALLY?! explain, please
You see, I have created some 300-400 threads. All of them worthless, except that they contain coded messages.

You see, I have created some 300-400 threads. All of them worthless, except that they contain coded messages.

I see... somebody is bound to go looking for the secret message now. You've ruined some poor sod's life.

The Kervoskia Code

Liasia']I see... somebody is bound to go looking for the secret message now. You've ruined some poor sod's life.
That's me. But you'll never find it in time. It'll be too late by then. t

That's me. But you'll never find it in time. It'll be too late by then. t
Found it...

oops, was I too soon?

Found it...

oops, was I too soon?
You don't know what you've done...ahha...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

You don't know what you've done...ahha...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Um...I dont see any oh jesus the world is imploding!!1

Um...I dont see any oh jesus the world is imploding!!1
Let us praise the Sorpka!.

You don't know what you've done...ahha...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
:eek:
*Buries secret message within complex code involving theoretical Algebra, astology signs and the placements of my Alphabits cereal in my cereal bowl.*

:eek:
*Buries secret message within complex code involving theoretical Algebra, astology signs and the placements of my Alphabits cereal in my cereal bowl.*

"My Alphabits are saying 'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'!"

"Those are Cheerios."

hehe. I like #2

Okay, so that's what atheists are up to, eating babies and all that... what's Newfoundland, anyway?

jesus christ newfoundland is a province in canada, fucking american, and it never said anything about eating babies

jesus christ newfoundland is a province in canada, fucking american, and it never said anything about eating babies
Maybe he was kidding? sarcasm has never been easy to convey over the web. And at least he can capitalize. :p

jesus christ newfoundland is a province in canada, fucking american, and it never said anything about eating babies


IV. Thou shalt consume the tender flesh of a babe smothered in a sauce of purest chocolate.

Am I not understanding this, or is this pointless?

Its funny, thats all it is. dont be so serious dude.

Atheism = lack of a deity.
You can't treat atheism like a religion or a set of beliefs, like many christians and right wing nuts try to do.


XI. Thou shalt troll the internet and attack all of those who are not like you

Maybe he was kidding? sarcasm has never been easy to convey over the web. And at least he can capitalize. :p
I'm not going to capitalize jesus you **** :p:sniper:

I'm not going to capitalize jesus you **** :p:sniper:
Hey! No one calls The Silver Sky a **** except his/her significant other, let's not go insulting people. ~~~.~~~

I'm not going to capitalize jesus you **** :p :sniper:
Could have at least capitalized Newfoundland and Canada :p
Hey! No one calls The Silver Sky a **** except his/her significant other, let's not go insulting people. ~~~.~~~
Thank you, and for the record, I'm a guy. :)

Could have at least capitalized Newfoundland and Canada :p
Pfff. No one believes in Canada.

Pfff. No one believes in Canada.
I know, but we could at least pretend to humor the believers :p XD

I know, but we could at least pretend to humor the believers :p XD
Fine, but you have to acknowledge the Scientologists.

Fine, but you have to acknowledge the Scientologists.
NEVER!!!!!!!!!!! *gets dragged off to looney bin*

*several screams and a manical laugh are heard*

Sorry, had to take care of things *tries to hide bloodly bat and blood stained hands*

Liasia']Yes, because it's completely impossible to have a moral Atheist. I can understand it is wrong to kill without the encouragement of some book and beardy dude nailed to a cross. But, obviously, that's not good enough.


Better not bring that into a public school, remember seperation of church and state.

XI. Thou shalt troll the internet and attack all of those who are not like you
As far as I can tell thats not really trolling

Disagreable absolutly but not really trolling

I love them. Particularly IV, V, and VII. Although I dunno about chocolate sauce. I'd rather tke the choice bits, marinade them, and grill ithem. Or maybe just roast it....or batter and fry it. That could be gooood.

Well, despite the somewhat idiotic nature of this thread, I did discover one new thing I'd never known about:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominion_of_Newfoundland

That's the kind of thing they should be teaching us in school. It does explain why the Labrador and Newfoundland provinces in Heart of Iron II were under British control...why I never thought to look that up, I dunno...

Well, despite the somewhat idiotic nature of this thread, I did discover one new thing I'd never known about:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominion_of_Newfoundland

That's the kind of thing they should be teaching us in school. It does explain why the Labrador and Newfoundland provinces in Heart of Iron II were under British control...why I never thought to look that up, I dunno...
I don't know what kind of school you go to, but I was taught this at my school. The fact that it's Canadian might have something to do with it though...

I don't know what kind of school you go to, but I was taught this at my school. The fact that it's Canadian might have something to do with it though...
I live in the United States. That should answer your questions right there.

OOOH I want to get into politics and reform this damned education system! Bloody fjorking Republicans and Democrats both screwing it up all to a black hole...

I live in the United States. That should answer your questions right there.

OOOH I want to get into politics and reform this damned education system! Bloody fjorking Republicans and Democrats both screwing it up all to a black hole...
Eh, don't worry about it. The Canadians are not important enough to be learned about in other countries. Hell, even our own citizens don't know our history and culture (still yet to be found...I think it's hiding under the couch).

Eh, don't worry about it. The Canadians are not important enough to be learned about in other countries. Hell, even our own citizens don't know our history and culture (still yet to be found...I think it's hiding under the couch).
Whaddya mean?! ALL information is useful. You gotta learn as much as you can in your life. Why? ...well...because I said so.

And in case you're wondering why I said black hole instead of hell, I'm secularizing all of my statements. My sister mentioned to me earlier how I was preaching to the choir about something, and on the spot I edited it to a scientist lecturing the professors.

As far as I can tell thats not really trolling

Disagreable absolutly but not really trolling


Yeah I used the wrong word for here. In my defense I come from a fishing background not an internet forum background.

Whaddya mean?! ALL information is useful. You gotta learn as much as you can in your life. Why? ...well...because I said so.

And in case you're wondering why I said black hole instead of hell, I'm secularizing all of my statements. My sister mentioned to me earlier how I was preaching to the choir about something, and on the spot I edited it to a scientist lecturing the professors.
There IS such a thing as knowing too much, you know.

There IS such a thing as knowing too much, you know.
Yeah, your brain can't handle it. You'll go crazy!

Okay, so that's what atheists are up to, eating babies and all that... what's Newfoundland, anyway?

It's part of the maple leaf for a flag country.

Liasia']Yes, i thought he might be taking the piss. I just thought i'd have a rant. Not really directed at anybody...

Taking the piss..haven't heard that one before. I like it.

V. Thou shalt fornicate with any living being, remeber as Athiest we condone homosexuality, bestiality and Newfoundland.


Apparantly, Athiest are fine with redundancy.

Seriously, what's up with Newfoundland? I know what it is and all; I've visited cousins there and everything. Is there something about the place I should know?

Seriously, what's up with Newfoundland? I know what it is and all; I've visited cousins there and everything. Is there something about the place I should know?
It's the Alabama of Canada.

Taking the piss..haven't heard that one before. I like it.

It's Britains second national pastime after soccer.

It's the Alabama of Canada.

That still doesn't tell me anything...

Do you mean it's like the West Virginia of Canada? But, that still wouldn't make that much sense. The people I know there don't seem like hicks to me...

Seriously, what's up with Newfoundland? I know what it is and all; I've visited cousins there and everything. Is there something about the place I should know?
You need to spend more time on mIRC. /nods sagely/

Taking the piss..haven't heard that one before. I like it.

It's not that great. Tastes kind of... salty.

Sand? Good lord, man.

IV. Thou shalt consume the tender flesh of a babe smothered in a sauce of purest chocolate.


Chocolate? Whatever you say, just bring me the chocolate!

Mmmm... Chocolate :fluffle:

<Snip>You slay me :p

Sand? Good lord, man.
The quote initiated with Vittos Ordination, from a song by somebody or other.

Or did you know that?

Atheism - Lack of Deity
Agnosticism - Not sure of deity
Monotheism - One Deity
Polytheism- multiple deities

All religions - made up by people

IV. Thou shalt consume the tender flesh of a babe smothered in a sauce of purest chocolate.

I didn't take that as "babies"; I took that as "hot chiks"! Mmmm...YUMMY!!!

;) ;) No one reads the small print.

*Athiesm is not to be confused with atheism. Athiesm is a doctrine adopted by the Holy Catholic Church of the Vicar of Jesus Christ which is headed by Pope Hadrianus I, also known as Loretta, except on Tuesdays when he's known as simply Ma'am or His Holiness.

Actually, the present pope is Pope Benedict. I don't think there ever was a Pope Hadrianus... in fact, I think you're being anti-catholic - which is just as bad as being anti-semitic... or anti-islamic... basically, if you find those things funny, then you're just as bad as... oh God, what's the use, trying to explain such things? I'll pray for you when you're burning in hell... ;)

;) ;)

Actually, the present pope is Pope Benedict. I don't think there ever was a Pope Hadrianus... in fact, I think you're being anti-catholic - which is just as bad as being anti-semitic... or anti-islamic... basically, if you find those things funny, then you're just as bad as... oh God, what's the use, trying to explain such things? I'll pray for you when you're burning in hell... ;)
He was poking fun at an organization not a group of individual s or race.
The catholic church has done plenty to deserve some being picked on.

Atheism - Lack of Deity
Agnosticism - Not sure of deity
Monotheism - One Deity
Polytheism- multiple deities

All religions - made up by people
All Beliefs made up by people yes

Not religions

I can see how you get them confused

;) ;)

Actually, the present pope is Pope Benedict. I don't think there ever was a Pope Hadrianus... in fact, I think you're being anti-catholic - which is just as bad as being anti-semitic... or anti-islamic... basically, if you find those things funny, then you're just as bad as... oh God, what's the use, trying to explain such things? I'll pray for you when you're burning in hell... ;)
Well, the Holy Catholic Church of the Vicar of Jesus Christ is not the Roman Catholic Church. We have a fancier name and less funding.

I didn't take that as "babies"; I took that as "hot chiks"! Mmmm...YUMMY!!!
I'm not too fond of chocolate, though. That's why I got expelled from Newfoundland...

I'm not too fond of chocolate, though. That's why I got expelled from Newfoundland...
:eek:
HERETIC!!
Quick, gather the mob and get the pitchforks before he tries to escape back to Newfoundland!

:eek:
HERETIC!!
Quick, gather the mob and get the pitchforks before he tries to escape back to Newfoundland!
It's time for an inquisition.

Atheism = lack of a deity.
You can't treat atheism like a religion or a set of beliefs, like many christians and right wing nuts try to do.quite so, this threads start is offensive to rational thinking people.

quite so, this threads start is offensive to rational thinking people.

No, just to people who do not read the smallprint and assume too readily.

;) ;)

Actually, the present pope is Pope Benedict. I don't think there ever was a Pope Hadrianus... in fact, I think you're being anti-catholic - which is just as bad as being anti-semitic... or anti-islamic... basically, if you find those things funny, then you're just as bad as... oh God, what's the use, trying to explain such things? I'll pray for you when you're burning in hell... ;)


Hey!!

Jesus called, he said to devolop a sense of humor, and look up thwe word "sarcasm" in the dictionary.

I told him it was probably too late.

Then I had discovered Jesus called collect.
Cheap bastard could buy a cell phone?

Hey!!

Jesus called, he said to devolop a sense of humor, and look up thwe word "sarcasm" in the dictionary.

I told him it was probably too late.

Then I had discovered Jesus called collect.
Cheap bastard could buy a cell phone?
Serves you right for accepting the charges ;)

Serves you right for accepting the charges ;)


I thought "Jesus Saves" applied to my phone bill too.....

It was....but it grew up big and strong.
All those chemical fertilizers they're using, turning our beautifully asterisked tiny print into deformed quotes ravaged by elephantiasis...

Taking the piss..haven't heard that one before. I like it.
how very british
my mother finds taking the piss too rude so she says taking the piddle,
she also says fudge instead of fuck an baskets insted of barstards
damm mother

Athiest, not atheist.

You see, there's a place called Canada. In Canada there are provinces. Newfoundland is part of one of these provinces, specifically Newfoundland and Labrador.



God you're a riot.

There's no such place as New Foundland, everyone knows that.