NationStates Jolt Archive

I just want to understand, and this behavior has me completely confounded.

Why do some gay men adopt the (exaggerated) gender mannerisms of women, like pretend or pseudo-feminity?

I figure that if a man is attracted to other men, why do some of these same men act like women? And why would a gay man be attracted to another man who acts with exaggerated feminity?

All part of the gay agenda.

shits and giggles

The gay men you're talking about (and you're right, not all gay men have effeminate mannerisms) don't act like *women*, they act like thirteen year-old girls.

shits and giggles
Oohhh...
That comment when talking about gay men gave me an image I didn't want right now.

You're right...i've never really thought about that and know I'm confused as well.

Well first we must look at the true meaning of "GAY" to grasp an understanding of their doings. GAY means "Girls and Liberals", so the liberals must be elvolving, addapting if you must, to their feminin counter parts. The cause is hard to explain, but I will try.

You see, when some aspects of the mino-ginatorus are introduced to the heteroferreltoral, they combine. Leading to mutation called asparosynidethurum, this causes the epiglyhimzima to grow. This changes the blood cells of the rinogastreous.

I don't know if this helps you, but it should help some.

Various reasons. One thing to keep in mind is that various gays are so because of identification with the opposite gender, not just attraction to their own.

Oohhh...
That comment when talking about gay men gave me an image I didn't want right now.
:D :p

1. Because they want to.

2. Because their being attracted to men makes them similar to women.

3. They aren't acting like women, they are acting like men who have developed certain personalities traits that are primarily associated with women in our culture but which men still possess. For example kindness, sensitivity, non-agression, a tendency to give signals that you wish to be pursued as opposed to doing the pursuing personally, etc.

I just want to understand, and this behavior has me completely confounded.

Why do some gay men adopt the (exaggerated) gender mannerisms of women, like pretend or pseudo-feminity?

I figure that if a man is attracted to other men, why do some of these same men act like women? And why would a gay man be attracted to another man who acts with exaggerated feminity?

Thinking in abstracts of masculinity and femininity takes your train of thought down the wrong path. Sexuality is determined biologically, and therefore straight men are attracted to women and gay men are attracted to other men. There are straight men who have effiminate features and gay men who have very masculine features, and vice versa. This all boils down to the laws of attraction. Confused? You should be. That is the way of nature. :headbang:

Thinking in abstracts of masculinity and femininity takes your train of thought down the wrong path. Sexuality is determined biologically, and therefore straight men are attracted to women and gay men are attracted to other men. There are straight men who have effiminate features and gay men who have very masculine features, and vice versa. This all boils down to the laws of attraction. Confused? You should be. That is the way of nature. :headbang:

Yet men who are sexually attracted to men seem to be more prone to exagerratedly stereotypical effeminacy than men who are sexually attracted to women. This seems to indicate that the two traits are not independent.

I may be mischaracterizing what I observe, but I can't think of any more accurate way to describe the behaviors other than exaggerated gender, or exaggerated stereotypical feminine behaviors.

Examples, using a higher pitched voice, using "girl talk" ie, phrases and topics men just don't use, makeup, applied finger nails painted, feminine clothing and accessories, that kind of stuff.

I am not referring to effeminite behaviors or mannerisms. I mean the exaggerated, STEREOTYPICAL feminine-like behaviors. Does this only happen in the US?

Oh, and BTW, I am not talking about character traits like kindness, compassion, or nurturing. I have seen some of these men be vicious, bigoted, catty, jealous and passive aggressive.

The tendency of homosexual men to lisp - more often than heterosexuals, in my experience - leads me to believe there is more to homosexuality than simple genetics, despite what genetic determinists would have me believe.

The behaviors, the "persona" must confer some advantage or some distinction. They must fill some niche.
I understand that some lesbian women adopt mannerisms and dress of stereotypical masculinity.

I just want to understand why, if the attraction is same sex, some individuals engage in OPPOSITE sex behavior. Isn't this counter concept?

you could also ask why some lesbians act butch and/or "masculine".

the reason why some gay men act with feminine traits is because of the fact that they are attracted to men which makes them relate more with women, thus putting them in the mindset of women, so in a sense some gay men are women with the body of a man. and its also due in part to gay liberalization, the fact that in some parts of the world, a gay man (or woman) can be free to walk down the street and act a certain way without fear of being insulted/assaulted by the ignorant public (:eek:).

you could also ask why some lesbians act butch and/or "masculine".

the reason why some gay men act with feminine traits is because of the fact that they are attracted to men which makes them relate more with women, thus putting them in the mindset of women, so in a sense some gay men are women with the body of a man. and its also due in part to gay liberalization, the fact that in some parts of the world, a gay man (or woman) can be free to walk down the street and act a certain way without fear of being insulted/assaulted by the ignorant public (:eek:).

OK, so then what about the other half of the equation?
Why would gay men find stereotypical gender feminism attractive? Aren't they attracted to maleness? (And vis-a-vis lesbian women)

Why do women act like women?

Just because someone is homosexual doesn’t mean that they are immune to social pressures and expectations.

I believe that one of the reasons for many of the stereotypically gay behaviors is identification. In the past, (and sometimes in the present as well :( ) homosexuals were treated so negatively that they had to come up with ways of identifying each other that would be imperceptible unless you knew the signals. Like lisping. Now, lisping has become so synonymous with homosexual stereotypes that everyone recongnizes that signal. (In fact many homosexuals no longer live up to this stereotype, especially where homosexuality is more widely accepted.) In the past, however, it was a good way to identify fellow homosexuals so that you could have a chance of hooking up without getting lynched.

To some extant, now, many homosexuals exagerate femininity, not only because they identify with females to a certain extant, but also as a way of proudly proclaiming their homosexuality.

Also, I think the OP is incorrect in believing that gays are more attracted to men who act effeminately. The reason they might seem to be is that such effeminately acting men are "safe bets" and therefore easier to approach. At the same time, they also seem to adore men who exibit outstandingly manly traits.

I just want to understand why, if the attraction is same sex, some individuals engage in OPPOSITE sex behavior. Isn't this counter concept?

Uh, Im not seeing why this is confusing. If you are gay, you might act like a woman because women have sex with men...

Most gay men do not behave like women. They behave just like other men, only with a different sexual orientation. Please, don't stereotype.

Most gay men do not behave like women. They behave just like other men, only with a different sexual orientation. Please, don't stereotype.
They didn't say that most acted like women, just that some did. Don't get all defensive when you haven't even read the name of the thread!.

I just want to understand, and this behavior has me completely confounded.

Why do some gay men adopt the (exaggerated) gender mannerisms of women, like pretend or pseudo-feminity?

I figure that if a man is attracted to other men, why do some of these same men act like women? And why would a gay man be attracted to another man who acts with exaggerated feminity?
As a gay man, I don't adopt mannerisms. However, the fact that some does can simply be explained this way: maybe they don't adopt those mannerisms because they want to look or act like a female, but rather they just don't bother repressing them as many other men do for fear of "looking gay" (which wouldn't bother them, seeing as they are indeed gay). It's a well-known fact human beings have facets of both sexes.

Oh, and as for being attracted to that... you're mostly right about it. I'n not attracted to men who act girlishly. However, when love strikes, you forget about that pretty quick :p I didn't realize my ex was pretty effeminate until AFTER we'd left each other. Before that, he was still the most handsome man on earth. So, I guess mannerisms or feminine behaviour matters little to the heart.

I wonder the same thing. I have a theory that the "bottoms" do it because they liken themselves to women sorta as they put themselves in the submissive role of one who pleases the dominant "tops". I'm not stereotypign or generalizing, as I am a bi male who bottoms for men but tops for women. *shrug*

OK, so then what about the other half of the equation?
Why would gay men find stereotypical gender feminism attractive?
The same reason some straight men like tomboy, more masculine women.

It's all a question of tastes and preferences.

I wonder the same thing. I have a theory that the "bottoms" do it because they liken themselves to women sorta as they put themselves in the submissive role of one who pleases the dominant "tops". I'm not stereotypign or generalizing, as I am a bi male who bottoms for men but tops for women. *shrug*
Then again, the notions of "top" or "bottom" make little sense for some of us.

Personally, I am neither. When I was making love with my boyfriend(when I was lucky enough to have one, that is) we didn't bother limiting ourselves to just one role. We switched as we pleased. I think the "top" or "bottom" notions are kinda st00pid in the sense that they're giving a false sense of dominance/submission, of passive/active roles. It's also a tad heterosexist, because it also gives the impression that the top plays out the role of the man, and the bottom plays the role of the woman by being penetrated. I find that silly, even thought I know some men swear by the distinction.

There was a study conducted between four people, one gay man, one gay woman, one straight woman, and one straight man. Guess who's mind patter was different from the three. THat's why gay men sometimes act femenin because they're able to think that way.

There was a study conducted between four people, one gay man, one gay woman, one straight woman, and one straight man. Guess who's mind patter was different from the three. THat's why gay men sometimes act femenin because they're able to think that way.
You mean straight men are dumb and have no feminine side?

I beg to differ. Not all straight men are stupid machos. Most just learn to repress that side of them at an early age because of social pressure, and the fear of being identified as "gay". Gay men just aren't obligated to put up a stupid macho front.

Thank you everyone who has taken the time to respond.
Sexuality and gender identity is fascinating and very complex.
I did receive input that makes sense and helped enlighten me.
I would like to point out that a few of you offered thought provoking ideas,
An archy
Skaladora
New Zero Seven
Undelia

Anyone who has more to offer, I welcome reading your responses.

I think the simplest answer is, most gay men don't do so. And for that matter, why do some straight men behave like that? Metrosexuality, basically the same thing, is on the rise among straight males and yet we hear no cries of "Why are straight guys acting so effeminate?" Most of the camp *******s you see are in fact probably straight, just acting gay because its seemingly attractive to females.

Al Gore.

Then again, the notions of "top" or "bottom" make little sense for some of us.

Personally, I am neither. When I was making love with my boyfriend(when I was lucky enough to have one, that is) we didn't bother limiting ourselves to just one role. We switched as we pleased. I think the "top" or "bottom" notions are kinda st00pid in the sense that they're giving a false sense of dominance/submission, of passive/active roles. It's also a tad heterosexist, because it also gives the impression that the top plays out the role of the man, and the bottom plays the role of the woman by being penetrated. I find that silly, even thought I know some men swear by the distinction.

I don't think there is anything st00pid about dominant or submissive personalities. It's just the way balance shows itself in our sexual (and other) lives. Sure there are people who are balanced and like it both ways, but there are others who enjoy the opposing roles. This is why I said the submissive types who play the "bottom" role are often the ones who take on the feminine traits. YOu can read whatever you like into my theory, but I am merely speaking from personal experiance. I'm not saying there are other factors that come into it as well.

Bcoz ther gay, duh! TEH PWNAGE

Bcoz ther gay, duh! TEH PWNAGE
Must I slap you? And I'm talking, in the face with a glove. Meet me on the fields somewhere tomorrow morn and we shall duel.

Why do some gay men adopt the (exaggerated) gender mannerisms of women, like pretend or pseudo-feminity?
Maybe having been discriminated against for being gay, they deliberately make a point of doing the opposite of what society thinks they should - kind of another way to fight the system (man).

I don't think there is anything st00pid about dominant or submissive personalities. It's just the way balance shows itself in our sexual (and other) lives. Sure there are people who are balanced and like it both ways, but there are others who enjoy the opposing roles. This is why I said the submissive types who play the "bottom" role are often the ones who take on the feminine traits. YOu can read whatever you like into my theory, but I am merely speaking from personal experiance. I'm not saying there are other factors that come into it as well.

I think the "dominant" and "submissive" roles are just fine too. That's just what some people like and how they feel.

I don't know about the submissive role being linked the kind of effeminate traits that some gay men express, however. I've know plenty of "tops" who've been on the effeminate side of things, in fact, the majority of the gay men I've known who have expressed such behaviour have been "tops" when it came to sexual arrangements. That's just anecdotal evidence, of course, but there it is, regardless.

Heck, when it comes to actual sexual activity, I'm about as "bottom" as a guy can be, but I'm not feminine at all except when I'm deliberately putting it on for tasteless humour purposes.

Must I slap you? And I'm talking, in the face with a glove. Meet me on the fields somewhere tomorrow morn and we shall duel.

Don't be gay!:p

Don't be gay!:p
Aw, damn. Must I stop? But its so hard, it feels so natural and right! :p

I think the "dominant" and "submissive" roles are just fine too. That's just what some people like and how they feel.

I don't know about the submissive role being linked the kind of effeminate traits that some gay men express, however. I've know plenty of "tops" who've been on the effeminate side of things, in fact, the majority of the gay men I've known who have expressed such behaviour have been "tops" when it came to sexual arrangements. That's just anecdotal evidence, of course, but there it is, regardless.

Heck, when it comes to actual sexual activity, I'm about as "bottom" as a guy can be, but I'm not feminine at all except when I'm deliberately putting it on for tasteless humour purposes.


hmmm I see. well it was just a theory after all. but I was also going from experiential evidence.

then again when I was working in Iowa I was working for this awesome chef, who was the most "nelly" self-described "fag" I ever met in my life. His husband (they had a great ceremony at the restaurant I worked with him at) was a very masculine guy. They had the respective top/bottom roles as masculine/feminine acts would seem to dictate to me (although obviously not universal according to yoru experience), but the hubby was a female impersonater/singer. When dressed up, nobody and I mean NOBODY could tell he was really a man (I'm talking female supermodel hot) and when he sang, it was like the most beautiful womans voice I have ever heard.

Then again, the notions of "top" or "bottom" make little sense for some of us.

Personally, I am neither. When I was making love with my boyfriend(when I was lucky enough to have one, that is) we didn't bother limiting ourselves to just one role. We switched as we pleased. I think the "top" or "bottom" notions are kinda st00pid in the sense that they're giving a false sense of dominance/submission, of passive/active roles. It's also a tad heterosexist, because it also gives the impression that the top plays out the role of the man, and the bottom plays the role of the woman by being penetrated. I find that silly, even thought I know some men swear by the distinction.

Its called versatile.

I personally don't think gay men do it deliberately. Or rather, they choose to amplify or subdue something that is already there.

Its because homosexuality is a choice. Those who practice these un-natural acts are still attracted to women as God intended, they only commit them as part of a godless Marxist liberal plot to corrupt our society and lure us all into the flames of hell. Even so, the homosexuals cannot escape righteous Christian truth. Their deviant acts disgust them as much as they disgust us right-thinking, God-fearing, hard working folk, and so they pretend to be women in an attempt to minimise their natural revulsion.

I personally don't think gay men do it deliberately. Or rather, they choose to amplify or subdue something that is already there.
Some do, some don't. I mean its not there in me, as far as I know (most people don't know I'm gay so) so I think that's probably wrong.

Taldaan.... either you are taking the piss or you're a bigot. In one case you are too close to the truth for it to be funny, in the other you are unworthy of an answer.

Its called versatile.
It's called versatility actually. But what's grammar between friends?

On topic though, I imagine some gay men just like being that way. Much like some straight men. I wouldn't think them being gay has anything to do with it.

Taldaan.... either you are taking the piss or you're a bigot. In one case you are too close to the truth for it to be funny, in the other you are unworthy of an answer.
Taking the piss I'd say. See how he's managed to include so many different conservative ideas?

Its because homosexuality is a choice. Those who practice these un-natural acts are still attracted to women as God intended, they only commit them as part of a godless Marxist liberal plot to corrupt our society and lure us all into the flames of hell. Even so, the homosexuals cannot escape righteous Christian truth. Their deviant acts disgust them as much as they disgust us right-thinking, God-fearing, hard working folk, and so they pretend to be women in an attempt to minimise their natural revulsion.
You may want to use the sarcasm tags

Gay men have brains that are constructed in a way similair to women.

Gay men have brains that are constructed in a way similair to women.
Oh how so?

For that matter what is the phisical differences between a male brain and female brain?

Gay men have brains that are constructed in a way similair to women.
Possibly, however that's only one part of the brain anyway. It is a common theory though.

UT... he's actually right :p

Because some gay men ARE women

Possibly, however that's only one part of the brain anyway. It is a common theory though.

UT... he's actually right :p
I was actualy curious ... I knew a different chemical balance and such but not a "Construction difference"

Because some gay men ARE women
Which means they aren't men. So what the hell are you on about?

UT, I can't remember the exact difference but its caused by a chemical difference affecting the brain's physical construction....

Possibly, however that's only one part of the brain anyway. It is a common theory though.

UT... he's actually right :p

But you're not....I'm FEMALE!

Oh how so?

For that matter what is the phisical differences between a male brain and female brain?

The hypothalamus is larger in straight males compared to gay males and straight women. You know, the part of the brain that controls sexual libido/agression?

But you're not....I'm FEMALE!
Meh, you're point being? I miss one letter off... :D

The hypothalamus is larger in straight males compared to gay males and straight women. You know, the part of the brain that controls sexual libido/agression?
Cool thanks

The same reason some straight men like tomboy, more masculine women.

It's all a question of tastes and preferences.

That makes more sense to me than most of the responses so far. I can relate to the concept better. I like stronger willed women than most. By the time I get to them most feel they have been oppressed for being to strong in a mans world or equivalent. I just want to feel equal in a relationship, not dominating or dominated. I dont particularly want to be involved with a lady who is weaker willed than I am. This does lead to heated debates at times but is well worth it in my opinion.


Anyway back to why some gay men act like women.

Taking the piss I'd say. See how he's managed to include so many different conservative ideas?

Damnit, you got me. Ah well. Please accept the Taldaan Prize for Sarcasm Detection.

And UpwardThrust, I'll try to use the tags in future. Its just that sometimes the "is he joking?" reaction is fun to watch.

Its because homosexuality is a choice. Those who practice these un-natural acts are still attracted to women as God intended, they only commit them as part of a godless Marxist liberal plot to corrupt our society and lure us all into the flames of hell. Even so, the homosexuals cannot escape righteous Christian truth. Their deviant acts disgust them as much as they disgust us right-thinking, God-fearing, hard working folk, and so they pretend to be women in an attempt to minimise their natural revulsion.
Heh heh, yup :p

Because, they put penis's in they're butts, if you put one in your butt you'd wanna be a woman too, because you'd feel more conftrobale being defiled if you were a woman. and btw, there is nothing gay about strait men having buttsex with women. :fluffle:

I just want to understand, and this behavior has me completely confounded.

Why do some gay men adopt the (exaggerated) gender mannerisms of women, like pretend or pseudo-feminity?

I figure that if a man is attracted to other men, why do some of these same men act like women? And why would a gay man be attracted to another man who acts with exaggerated feminity?


You might as well ask why SOME men adopt the (exaggerated) gender mannerisms of men.

I have an acquaintance who is a yankee, relocated to the South. When he was a yankee, he had a factory job, but was your average joe.

Once he relocated to the South, he seems to have developed certain mannerisms... long gone is the shirt, he spits, he swears, he scratches himself in public... he watches sports, he drinks beer.

None of those things are 'wrong', I guess - but they are adaptations to the company he now keeps... a 'lad' mentality.

So - WHY does he carry out these exaggerated 'male' mannerisms? To fit in with a perceived peer group, perhaps? Or - did he ALWAYS want to act that way, and just didn't feel comfortable doing so in New Jersey?



As another thought on the issue - I have a gay friend who exhibits exaggerated mannerisms when he is 'about town'... clubbing, doing bars, etc. But, he does NOT carry out the same behaviours when it is just a couple of us sitting around....

Maybe, his 'colourful' persona is a way of identifying himself as available to gay males?

I just want to understand, and this behavior has me completely confounded.

Why do some gay men adopt the (exaggerated) gender mannerisms of women, like pretend or pseudo-feminity?

I figure that if a man is attracted to other men, why do some of these same men act like women? And why would a gay man be attracted to another man who acts with exaggerated feminity?

It's to keep the cosmos in balance. They must act feminine to counter the number of lesbians who act masculine and keep things in balance...Otherwise the karmas would spin out of control.

I just want to understand, and this behavior has me completely confounded.

Why do some gay men adopt the (exaggerated) gender mannerisms of women, like pretend or pseudo-feminity?

I figure that if a man is attracted to other men, why do some of these same men act like women? And why would a gay man be attracted to another man who acts with exaggerated feminity?

Why do some straight men act 'effeminate?' Why do some straight women act all butch like straight men? The questions are all prefaced on a false assumption: that "masculinity" is an inherent characteristic of males and that "femininity" is an inherent characteristic of females, and that transgressing those rigid types is somehow pathelogical.
As a gay man, when my mannerism and speech and such come off as what one might call "effeminate," it isn't because I'm making any effort to be 'womanly.' It's because I personally don't feel as though I should try and force myself to conform to some macho, aggressive, stoic BS 'masculine' image. Social or behavioural norms of "masculinity" as opposed to "femininity" have been pretty badly exaggerated, and I think all men-- gay and straight-- suffer because there's this unnatural, un-organic construct of how men are 'supposed' to behave, and it's largely constructed around 'not-being' like women.
Think about it-- if you weren't raised on a diet of football and "boys don't cry" and "don't be such a little girl/sissy/wuss" and "suck it up," do you honestly think the extremes of stereotypical 'guy' behaviour would come naturally? I think it's more likely that if people in general just relaxed, stop worrying so much about whether they're perceived as 'masculine' enough or 'feminine' enough, then a lot of the exaggerated differences between gender roles would deconstruct themselves. If people could just act more naturally, speak and move and express themselves without feeling pressure to fit a very suffocating mold, we wouldn't talk about 'acting effeminte' as though it were an indictment.

At the same time, I'm sure that some of my gay peers *do* deliberately undermine their gender roles once they come out, either in order to demonstrate what I just described (with a finer point put on it) or because they feel 'disowned' by straight men and-- by extension-- by 'masculinity' in general. I know that sometimes, given the straight role models society offers, I want as little to do with 'em as possible. heh.

we got a lot of supposition..


' "Supposed" is a kind of "suppository." It means something is about to be shoved up your ass.' - Solomon Short


and some first hand experiences...


'Knowledge is raw data. Wisdom is knowing how to use it.' - Solomon Short


but we are lacking in second hand data...

'A rumor proves nothing but your gullibility.' - Solomon Short


So I asked my ex boss, who is gay, and who acts like a regular man. His friend is one of the Flaming Gays, fabio hair, lisp, girlish and gossipy, bright flashy clothes...

And he said... Its mostly just an act. They get caught up in identifing as gay, and over exagerate stereotypes. He thinks its stupid and annoying.


'A sure sign that a person needs a psychiatrist is when he starts driving the people around him crazy.' - Solomon Short.

I personally don't think gay men do it deliberately. Or rather, they choose to amplify or subdue something that is already there.
Same way a teenage girl chooses to act how they do ... somehow one is viewed as silly and the other as disturbing or disgusting

This discussion continues to be interesting.
Please, keep it up.

I know a gay guy who gets really pissed off by the femininity of many gays. He says he's gay because he likes men, real men, not men who walk around acting like women.

I know a gay guy who gets really pissed off by the femininity of many gays. He says he's gay because he likes men, real men, not men who walk around acting like women.

And I prefer masculine looking guys.. with the whole jock / swimmer physique thing goin' on.. I want them to make it legal for me to marry the A&F catalogue.. but as for mannerisms 'n stuff, I'm more attracted to guys who are 'man enough' to just be themselves and not 'put on' the exaggerated, actively "anti-feminine" stereotypical macho bullshit male "image" that heterosexist, male-dominated society has so ludicrously polarised. I like when guys can just be relaxed and in their moment and if some situation triggers them to think or say or do something 'feminine,' they feel at liberty to do it. Whatever comes naturally, without trying to adhere to some external standard of masculinite. It's so boorish, so disempowering.

Or as a favourite comedienne of mine says: "I want a man who'll cry... (when I hit him)" LOL :D

:fluffle:

Ever think its not an image and maybe its who they are? Some people act a certain way. If you think its annoying you cant help that, but they cant help the way they act either. I dont think you choose to act like a regular straight man, do you?

I don't know. Maybe it's because the way their brain is structured. Maybe effeminate gay men's brains are structured more like a female brain. It could be genetic. Or perhaps it's a cultural thing instead. Could be that acting that way is considered normal and appropriate in gay culture. I don't know for sure.

Gay men don't act like women.

Some men in general display rather sterotpycially feminine traits, but it's not exclusive to gay men. Knew a guy once who had the whole limp wristed swishy thing going on. Biggest fucking womanizer I've ever met. He had a wife and two girlfriends at any given time and had fucked every woman in no less than three different departments where we worked.

Gay men don't act like women.

Some men in general display rather sterotpycially feminine traits, but it's not exclusive to gay men. Knew a guy once who had the whole limp wristed swishy thing going on. Biggest fucking womanizer I've ever met. He had a wife and two girlfriends at any given time and had fucked every woman in no less than three different departments where we worked.
Jim McGreevey, the Gay Amercian former governor of New Jersey was also a womanizer, until he admitted he was a Gay American. It could just all be an act, you know?

Or he could be Bisexual.

I doubt it was an act.

Jim McGreevey, the Gay Amercian former governor of New Jersey was also a womanizer, until he admitted he was a Gay American. It could just all be an act, you know?What's with this whole X - American trend? Gay American? Fat American? We KNOW they are Americans, but that has nothing to do with another random personal trait. It's not like those things mitigate your Americanness such that it must be explicitly stated in tandem. With nationalities, it makes some sense - but honestly...

Why, oh why do people care how we behave? :rolleyes: Some of us have more female minds than others (perhaps due to hormones), and others behave so because of stereotypical societal roles. As for if we choose to be gay, umm no we don't. We're sort of, like, born that way. Personally I have a female mind, but I do not act all queer. Why should it matter anyway? Everyone knows female minds are superior. :)

Oh, and BTW, I am not talking about character traits like kindness, compassion, or nurturing. I have seen some of these men be vicious, bigoted, catty, jealous and passive aggressive.

I suppose those are feminine characteristics as well, eh?

I suppose those are feminine characteristics as well, eh?
They can be. :)

What's with this whole X - American trend? Gay American? Fat American? We KNOW they are Americans, but that has nothing to do with another random personal trait. It's not like those things mitigate your Americanness such that it must be explicitly stated in tandem. With nationalities, it makes some sense - but honestly...
Dude, don't blame me. The former governor said it that way in his speech. It struck me as funny and weird, so I repeat it whenever refering to him. Personally I'm with you. You don't have to list your nationality along with all of your personal traits. I don't go around saying I'm an alcoholic-American.

Dude, don't blame me. The former governor said it that way in his speech. It struck me as funny and weird, so I repeat it whenever refering to him. Personally I'm with you. You don't have to list your nationality along with all of your personal traits. I don't go around saying I'm an alcoholic-American.Hah, It's really just a roudabout way to say that the thing before the American sucks but since you're an american, you're all right. Because if you were ONLY gay, or ONLY fat, man, that would be *really* bad.

I just want to understand, and this behavior has me completely confounded.

Why do some gay men adopt the (exaggerated) gender mannerisms of women, like pretend or pseudo-feminity?

I figure that if a man is attracted to other men, why do some of these same men act like women? And why would a gay man be attracted to another man who acts with exaggerated feminity?

This is a wonderfully challenging, yet slightly creepy, question. If anything, gay men should act more like men than hetrasexuals as they are attempting to impress people who like....men. Therefore acting like women is totally inappropriate and ridiculous

This is a wonderfully challenging, yet slightly creepy, question. If anything, gay men should act more like men than hetrasexuals as they are attempting to impress people who like....men. Therefore acting like women is totally inappropriate and ridiculous
Yeah... we like people not who act like men but who are men in a physical rather than mental sense. Whether we like them acting more masculine or feminine differs from person to person.

This is a wonderfully challenging, yet slightly creepy, question. If anything, gay men should act more like men than hetrasexuals as they are attempting to impress people who like....men. Therefore acting like women is totally inappropriate and ridiculous
More masculine gay guys prefer more feminine ones.

More masculine gay guys prefer more feminine ones.
And again I disagree, dmittedly based on me. I'm not overly masculine, but yeah. And yet I don't want an effeminate, limp-wristed gay guy. I want one who is, again, masculine. Hm?

And again I disagree, dmittedly based on me. I'm not overly masculine, but yeah. And yet I don't want an effeminate, limp-wristed gay guy. I want one who is, again, masculine. Hm?
Yet I, being more feminine (though not queer), can attract the more masculine ones. :) That said, I detest cave men. They should stay where they belong; in cages.

Yet I, being more feminine (though not queer), can attract the more masculine ones. :) That said, I detest cave men. They should stay where they belong; in cages.
You can attract some more masculine ones. Hell, some feminine ones might be attracted to you...

You can attract some more masculine ones. Hell, some feminine ones might be attracted to you...
Yeah, so I guess I am sort of lesbian in a way. :)

Yeah, so I guess I am sort of lesbian in a way. :)
It's another take off the old "lesbian in a man's body" joke. :D

It's another take off the old "lesbian in a man's body" joke. :D
:p In some ways I am one I guess. A lesbian in a man's body attracted to men. :confused:

:p In some ways I am one I guess. A lesbian in a man's body attracted to men. :confused:
No, attracted to more lesbians in men's bodies.

This is starting to get confusing. That's why I stuck with the unequivocal "triasexual". ;)

I just want to understand, and this behavior has me completely confounded.

Why do some gay men adopt the (exaggerated) gender mannerisms of women, like pretend or pseudo-feminity?

For exactly the same reason why any women show those behaviors: because they are socialized to think that this is the best way for them to behave.

Women aren't naturally any more or less likely to act "feminine" than men are. "Feminine" is a cultural invention. We are taught that certain people behave certain ways, and we are given these messages from the time we are very small.

Many children are given the "boys versus girls" dichotomy. Boys do these things, girls do those, and never the twain shall meet. What, then, is a boy to do if he finds that he enjoys the colour pink? The rules tell him that boys cannot like pink. Only girls can like pink. It is not possible for a masculine male to enjoy pink, therefore he must be feminine by default.

With male homosexuality, there is also the relationship crap in the way. The "traditional" model of relationships states that there must be ONE person who "wears the pants" in the relationship, while the other (presumably) wears the skirt and is the submissive femme. If two men are to be in a relationship, well then I guess one of them will have to "be the woman!" Some gay guys vamp it up in their role as femme, sometimes as a way of poking fun at themselves or at the stupid stereotype of traditional heteronormativity.

And, at this point, "acting gay" has become a joke in and of itself. Most people who act this way are no longer doing it for any deep or resounding reason, but rather because it is campy and funny and why the hell not?


I figure that if a man is attracted to other men, why do some of these same men act like women?

If you think there is any such thing as "acting like a man" or "acting like a woman," then you're already in trouble.


And why would a gay man be attracted to another man who acts with exaggerated feminity?
Why would a man be attracted to a girl who plays rugby and burps? Gosh, maybe because not everybody is obsessed with finding a partner who completely conforms to a particular gender stereotype! Maybe because some people are more concerned with the question of, "Is this guy really hot?" than the question of, "Is he a uber-butch manly man?"

I just want to understand, and this behavior has me completely confounded.

Why do some gay men adopt the (exaggerated) gender mannerisms of women, like pretend or pseudo-feminity?

I figure that if a man is attracted to other men, why do some of these same men act like women? And why would a gay man be attracted to another man who acts with exaggerated feminity?

I hate it when gay men act like women. I would find it a lot more comfortable to get along with them if they didn't.

I hate it when gay men act like women. I would find it a lot more comfortable to get along with them if they didn't.
Why do you feel uncomfortable around "feminine" men?

Yet men who are sexually attracted to men seem to be more prone to exagerratedly stereotypical effeminacy than men who are sexually attracted to women. This seems to indicate that the two traits are not independent.
Regarding "stereotypical effeminacy", the same kind of traits are found vis a vis gay women as well. It could be said that some lesbians exhibit traits of stereotypical masculinity. In this way you are correct to assume the traits are interrelated, as it were.

I just want to understand, and this behavior has me completely confounded.

Why do some gay men adopt the (exaggerated) gender mannerisms of women, like pretend or pseudo-feminity?

I figure that if a man is attracted to other men, why do some of these same men act like women? And why would a gay man be attracted to another man who acts with exaggerated feminity?
I've decided I think the real question should be, why do WOMEN act like women?

Most of the traditionally "feminine" behaviors revolve around wearing uncomfortable, poorly-made clothing that quite often cause lasting injury to a person's body, pretending to be stupider and less accomplished than one really is in order to attract men, and spending tedious hours on "girl talk" about how much one didn't eat today. Also, one is required to dislike all things which are actually cool, such as superheroes, videogames, ribs, beer, and cars which go very fast.

Why would ANYBODY, gay or straight, act this way? I'm guessing it's some kind of hysteria caused by toxic makeup chemicals leeching through the skin.

I've decided I think the real question should be, why do WOMEN act like women?

Most of the traditionally "feminine" behaviors revolve around wearing uncomfortable, poorly-made clothing that quite often cause lasting injury to a person's body, pretending to be stupider and less accomplished than one really is in order to attract men, and spending tedious hours on "girl talk" about how much one didn't eat today. Also, one is required to dislike all things which are actually cool, such as superheroes, videogames, ribs, beer, and cars which go very fast.

Why would ANYBODY, gay or straight, act this way? I'm guessing it's some kind of hysteria caused by toxic makeup chemicals leeching through the skin.
Because sex-appeal allows women to manipulate men. Thusly all that is in fact productive.

Why do you feel uncomfortable around "feminine" men?
Sounds like someone's fragile masculinity is feeling vulnerable now ;)

Because sex-appeal allows women to manipulate men. Thusly all that is in fact productive.
Why would women want to have anything to do with the kind of man who is attracted to anorexic, bland females who wear uncomfortable shoes? Why waste time "manipulating" such creatures, when you can just ignore them altogether?

I've decided I think the real question should be, why do WOMEN act like women?

Most of the traditionally "feminine" behaviors revolve around wearing uncomfortable, poorly-made clothing that quite often cause lasting injury to a person's body, pretending to be stupider and less accomplished than one really is in order to attract men, and spending tedious hours on "girl talk" about how much one didn't eat today. Also, one is required to dislike all things which are actually cool, such as superheroes, videogames, ribs, beer, and cars which go very fast.

Why would ANYBODY, gay or straight, act this way? I'm guessing it's some kind of hysteria caused by toxic makeup chemicals leeching through the skin.

Not all of us actually think superheros, videogames, ribs, beer and cars which go very fast are cool.

In fact, I honestly don't like those things.

I choose to be feminine, that's my option.
Also, my view of traditional feminity is quite different from yours. Well-made, comfortable clothing is by no means "unfeminine", for example. In fact, I do believe you are talking about a much more modern kind of "femininity". In that case, I agree with you, many young women are quite... silly in that sense.

But being feminine- in my traditional sense- suits me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I've decided I think the real question should be, why do WOMEN act like women?

Most of the traditionally "feminine" behaviors revolve around wearing uncomfortable, poorly-made clothing that quite often cause lasting injury to a person's body, pretending to be stupider and less accomplished than one really is in order to attract men, and spending tedious hours on "girl talk" about how much one didn't eat today. Also, one is required to dislike all things which are actually cool, such as superheroes, videogames, ribs, beer, and cars which go very fast.

Why would ANYBODY, gay or straight, act this way? I'm guessing it's some kind of hysteria caused by toxic makeup chemicals leeching through the skin.

How many women do you know who act this way? Cause I only know silly girls who show this kind of behaviour....

Personally, I couldn't care less about cars (fast or slow), I love comics but am not too fond of superheroes, videogames bore the living daylight out of me, but we can talk about ribs and beer :D

I'd never pretend to be stupid, I couldn't pull it off anyway, but I love feminine clothes. There's no law that says they can't be comfortable, you know? If they are, you're in the wrong shop. You know, in the one for the silly brainless girls?

How many women do you know who act this way? Cause I only know silly girls who show this kind of behaviour....

Personally, I couldn't care less about cars (fast or slow), I love comics but am not too fond of superheroes, videogames bore the living daylight out of me, but we can talk about ribs and beer :D

I'd never pretend to be stupid, I couldn't pull it off anyway, but I love feminine clothes. There's no law that says they can't be comfortable, you know? If they are, you're in the wrong shop. You know, in the one for the silly brainless girls?

Pretty much what I was trying to say. :fluffle:

Of all the threads to gravedig, you pick this one?

:rolleyes:

I see that I shouldn't bother trying to be sarcastic or witty, but should instead just stick to being shrill. Particularly since people don't bother flipping back two pages before assuming that I'm a generalizing, stereotyping monster. :P

The main supposed "feminine" behavior I've noticed among a handful of gay males is a tendency to gossip, spread rumours, bitch, whine, groan, complain, and generally be a royal pain in the ass (no pun intended) to anyone who refuses to cater to their every whim. Of course, that's general whiny asshole(again, no pun intended) behavior.

I just want to understand, and this behavior has me completely confounded.

Why do some gay men adopt the (exaggerated) gender mannerisms of women, like pretend or pseudo-feminity?

I figure that if a man is attracted to other men, why do some of these same men act like women? And why would a gay man be attracted to another man who acts with exaggerated feminity?

It's one of those Mysterieeeeees of Science! :D

I hate it when people act like idiots. I would find it a lot more comfortable to get along with them if they didn't.


Fixed.

The behaviors, the "persona" must confer some advantage or some distinction. They must fill some niche.
I understand that some lesbian women adopt mannerisms and dress of stereotypical masculinity.

I just want to understand why, if the attraction is same sex, some individuals engage in OPPOSITE sex behavior. Isn't this counter concept?

Yay! Stereotyping!

I know this old guy who likes to be given enemas by a midget lady with a gas mask and dressed as a nun.
Therefore old people must be into the post-apocalyptic latex-nun enema thing.

For example kindness, sensitivity, non-agression, a tendency to give signals that you wish to be pursued as opposed to doing the pursuing personally, etc.

fashion sense
knitting
fawning over clothing
excessive shopping at the mall
redecorating the condo for the fifteenth time
always wanting to cook with arugula, just because it sounds nice

fashion sense
knitting
fawning over clothing
excessive shopping at the mall
redecorating the condo for the fifteenth time
always wanting to cook with arugula, just because it sounds nice

That's not being gay...that's just being weird. Arugala....aruuuuuuuuugggggggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....*bursts into a fit of laughter*