NationStates Jolt Archive

My fellow NSers, I'm writing to tell you about an incredibly entertaining experience I recently had. I may have broken the law, so hence I shall remove all the possibly self-incriminating details in it. I'm trying to vague here.

I work for a federal organization with an authoritive-sounding title. One of my work perks is a department vehicle - a late-model black sedan. The vehicle is registered to the organization, with the appropriate registration to match. Officially I'm only suppose to use it for official business but I get away with personal use as long as I don't abuse it too often.

On the particular day, I had received permission to come into to work later in the afternoon. I was attending the funeral of a relative. I was dressed in a black business suit with a white shirt and black tie. Black pants, black shoes, black tie.

Regardless, after leaving the funeral. I discovered I underestimated the time it would take me to get back to work, so I starting driving about 20mph over the legal limit in an effort to return to work on time. There was a sunlight glare, so I put on a pair of opaque Oakley sunglasses.

Some of you probably know where this is going.

I heard a siren behind me; a highway cop in a highway patrol vehicle. Cursing under my breath, I obidiently slowed down and pulled over. Then I realized I was dressed exactly like a Man In Black ,of the UFO-conspiracy theory variety, complete with opaque sunglasses. In a black late-model federal-government registration sedan. I decided I'd go with a flow but I won't risk the charge of impersonating a Federal official.

Yes. Start laughing, you all.

The patrolman was a overweight man in his late 40s. He was talking with his dispatcher(?) on the police radio, probably requesting information on my vehicle license tag and registration. He dismounted from his patrol car, and approached the driver's side window on my vehicle. I co-operatively winded down the aforementioned window.

He was visibly disturbed/perturbed, presumably of my appearence. Then the reply from (presumably) his dispatcher relayed onto the radio on his uniform. It went something like this, but the exact wording had police acronyms.

"Able-One-Five, OI on requested vehicle indicates registered to [title of federal department I work for]. Over."

So far, neither me or the policeman had communicated. I had maintained an icy stoic expression. That relevation over the radio, plus the MIB-appearance, definitely put him off giving me a speeding ticket. Instead he gave me an informal salute and wished me "Have a nice day, sir."

My reply was a coup-de-grace, icing-on-the-cake. I spoke in a robotic monotone. "Your cooperation is greatly appreciated, officer."

Then I resumed my journey back to work, sticking to the speed limit this time. I had no desire to try the same trick again.

And that is how I managed to get saluted by a cop for speeding.

Thoughts, comments? For the legal professionals among you, have I broken any Federal laws?

Heh.

I'm not reading that.

great story!

what law could you have broken? you didnt claim to be anyone you arent.

Good one. Never gotten so much as a speeding ticket so far. Perhaps it's cause I look Mexican and drive a Mercedes. Beats me.

I'm not reading that.

you should. its well written and funny

I agree, you said nothing that could get you in trouble. Damn, almost makes me wish I worked for the Feds.

Well, not really. Nice work though.

Ok, read the story, how distasteful.

Your last comment was a little over the top IMO.

you should. its well written and funny
Meh, stop making me agree with you!
Is not.

Meh, stop making me agree with you![/COLOR]
Is not.

I thought it was amusing. You're just being rude, Ruffie. Is this what you are like when you are not high?
*Reads secret message in white* Oh, alright then.

i was that cop i was coked out of my brain and i thought you were will smith

That is quite mad, messed up depressing, wrong and hilarious.

i was that cop i was coked out of my brain and i thought you were will smith
:rolleyes:

I thought it was amusing. You're just being rude, Ruffie. Is this what you are like when you are not high?
*Reads secret message in white* Oh, alright then.
I'm just.. bored.

And that story was.. ok.

LOL, congrats on beating a ticket! I once beat a ticket when the officer upon seeing my last name, which is the same as a few well known hollywood actresses, asked me if I was related to Mrs. (last name). Without thinking, I said, "Of course officer, I'm her daughter". He got that "oh shit" look on his face, wished me a nice day, said to say hi to my mom from him, a longtime fan, and went on his way. It only hit me when I got home that he was thinking I was the daughter of the actress.

Haha, secret agent man, Agent Smith style. That's awesome.

Great story! Tell it again!

Abso-fucking-lutely brilliant! Well played!

Closest I can come was when I was driving from Ellensburg, WA to Sacramento, CA for my grandparents' funeral (interment ceremony, really, they died a few months apart and were interred together). I was blazing through Wasco County with absolute visibility and hadn't passed more than a jackrabbit in over 15 minutes. I'm doing about 80 in a 60, and wondering why the hell it's 60 out in the middle of nowhere, and not looking for the car I thought was a derelict to be an unmarked speed trap car. As soon as the car pulled out after me in my rearview mirror, I just slowed down and pulled over. He barely had his lights and siren on before I'd stopped. When he came up to the window, he was actually pleasant. He said, "I've been waitin' all day for you," which I took to mean that his day, prior to my arrival, was as boring as most in such a desolate place.

I figured I was going to be ticketed, if only because the county needed my $110 to supplement the law enforcement budget, so I replied with the first thing that came to my mind: "Well, I got here as fast as I could!"

The officer paused before handing me my license and registration, and then laughed. I did not know rural policemen did that. While my smartassed retort didn't get me off the ticket, he did put me down for 10 over instead of 20 (only a $60 ticket). I wasn't terribly relieved, given that he did so even after hearing where I was headed and why. It served to reinforce my belief that it's not always Serving and Protecting. Sometimes it's Revenue Enhancement -- because really, who was this guy serving and/or protecting? The aforementioned jackrabbits?

The OP is a great story. Again, well played.

Great story! Tell it again!
:eek: :(

Great story! Tell it again!

If you insist...

My fellow NSers, I'm writing to tell you about an incredibly entertaining experience I recently had. I may have broken the law, so hence I shall remove all the possibly self-incriminating details in it. I'm trying to vague here.

I work for a federal organization with an authoritive-sounding title. One of my work perks is a department vehicle - a late-model black sedan. The vehicle is registered to the organization, with the appropriate registration to match. Officially I'm only suppose to use it for official business but I get away with personal use as long as I don't abuse it too often.

On the particular day, I had received permission to come into to work later in the afternoon. I was attending the funeral of a relative. I was dressed in a black business suit with a white shirt and black tie. Black pants, black shoes, black tie.

Regardless, after leaving the funeral. I discovered I underestimated the time it would take me to get back to work, so I starting driving about 20mph over the legal limit in an effort to return to work on time. There was a sunlight glare, so I put on a pair of opaque Oakley sunglasses.

Some of you probably know where this is going.

I heard a siren behind me; a highway cop in a highway patrol vehicle. Cursing under my breath, I obidiently slowed down and pulled over. Then I realized I was dressed exactly like a Man In Black ,of the UFO-conspiracy theory variety, complete with opaque sunglasses. In a black late-model federal-government registration sedan. I decided I'd go with a flow but I won't risk the charge of impersonating a Federal official.

Yes. Start laughing, you all.

The patrolman was a overweight man in his late 40s. He was talking with his dispatcher(?) on the police radio, probably requesting information on my vehicle license tag and registration. He dismounted from his patrol car, and approached the driver's side window on my vehicle. I co-operatively winded down the aforementioned window.

He was visibly disturbed/perturbed, presumably of my appearence. Then the reply from (presumably) his dispatcher relayed onto the radio on his uniform. It went something like this, but the exact wording had police acronyms.

"Able-One-Five, OI on requested vehicle indicates registered to [title of federal department I work for]. Over."

So far, neither me or the policeman had communicated. I had maintained an icy stoic expression. That relevation over the radio, plus the MIB-appearance, definitely put him off giving me a speeding ticket. Instead he gave me an informal salute and wished me "Have a nice day, sir."

My reply was a coup-de-grace, icing-on-the-cake. I spoke in a robotic monotone. "Your cooperation is greatly appreciated, officer."

Then I resumed my journey back to work, sticking to the speed limit this time. I had no desire to try the same trick again.

And that is how I managed to get saluted by a cop for speeding.

Thoughts, comments? For the legal professionals among you, have I broken any Federal laws?

can't see you breaking any law. you didn't impersonate anyone and the cop came to his own conclusions.

Great story and I can imagine what he might be telling his buddies...

"You won't believe it, I pulled over a MiB. I Shit you not! What happened was..." :D

If you insist...

Hooray! It's even better the second time. Missed a couple of nuances the first time around. I *really* can't wait for the sequal. I hear Ron Howard's on board to direct.

"I.N.S. division 6." LOL That was great!:D Good show old chap, and thank you for posting it for the enjoyment of NSers like myslef. *APPLAUSE!*

rot in jail, law-breaker :cool:

rot in jail, law-breaker :cool:
*nods*

Great story, I loved your reply to the cop. :D

Good job sir/madam.

As you work for the federal government, you will understand exactly how much they frown upon the so-called "misuse" of federal property. If not, ask around the office.

It's one of their little tricks. They turn a blind eye to people 'running errands', or whatnot in the government vehicles because they know damn well when they ask you to do something unconscionable. Or, perhaps they want you to look the other way at some point and then they will have something in their pocket they can terminate your otherwise non at will employment contract with if you don't.

And if you ever "blow" the whistle; well, then you have less than clean hands.

QVIS CVSTODIET IPSOS CVSTODES

LOL, congrats on beating a ticket!
Not that hard. They never fight back, do they? Wussies.

Ok, read the story, how distasteful.

Happens frequently to me.

I'm also misidentified by police on foot as a law enforcement or federal type fairly often.

The high and tight haircut, the Agent Smith suit, the sunglasses, and the holstered pistol seem to radiate that.

Then again, I'm not law enforcement or a federal type, so go figure.

Happens frequently to me.

I'm also misidentified by police on foot as a law enforcement or federal type fairly often.

The high and tight haircut, the Agent Smith suit, the sunglasses, and the holstered pistol seem to radiate that.

Then again, I'm not law enforcement or a federal type, so go figure.
:eek: Stop him Sam, he's gonna tell a story!

:eek: Stop him Sam, he's gonna tell a story!
No, I'm going to sing a song.:D

So... Should we flee Swamp Castle?

Heheh, awesome. :D

I usually avoid tickets by saying, "What's up Coach?"

haha nice..

Just don't speed, people. That way you've got less chance of running into some poor sap and you don't get fined. Everybody wins.

Great story, agent...... well done.

Not a Gaijiin Smash, but an MiB Smash. Smoothly does it.

Not a Gaijiin Smash, but an MiB Smash. Smoothly does it.

Oh, thanks for reminding me. I haven't checked that site in ages. :p

My fellow NSers, I'm writing to tell you about an incredibly entertaining experience I recently had. I may have broken the law, so hence I shall remove all the possibly self-incriminating details in it. I'm trying to vague here.

I work for a federal organization with an authoritive-sounding title. One of my work perks is a department vehicle - a late-model black sedan. The vehicle is registered to the organization, with the appropriate registration to match. Officially I'm only suppose to use it for official business but I get away with personal use as long as I don't abuse it too often.

On the particular day, I had received permission to come into to work later in the afternoon. I was attending the funeral of a relative. I was dressed in a black business suit with a white shirt and black tie. Black pants, black shoes, black tie.

Regardless, after leaving the funeral. I discovered I underestimated the time it would take me to get back to work, so I starting driving about 20mph over the legal limit in an effort to return to work on time. There was a sunlight glare, so I put on a pair of opaque Oakley sunglasses.

Some of you probably know where this is going.

I heard a siren behind me; a highway cop in a highway patrol vehicle. Cursing under my breath, I obidiently slowed down and pulled over. Then I realized I was dressed exactly like a Man In Black ,of the UFO-conspiracy theory variety, complete with opaque sunglasses. In a black late-model federal-government registration sedan. I decided I'd go with a flow but I won't risk the charge of impersonating a Federal official.

Yes. Start laughing, you all.

The patrolman was a overweight man in his late 40s. He was talking with his dispatcher(?) on the police radio, probably requesting information on my vehicle license tag and registration. He dismounted from his patrol car, and approached the driver's side window on my vehicle. I co-operatively winded down the aforementioned window.

He was visibly disturbed/perturbed, presumably of my appearence. Then the reply from (presumably) his dispatcher relayed onto the radio on his uniform. It went something like this, but the exact wording had police acronyms.

"Able-One-Five, OI on requested vehicle indicates registered to [title of federal department I work for]. Over."

So far, neither me or the policeman had communicated. I had maintained an icy stoic expression. That relevation over the radio, plus the MIB-appearance, definitely put him off giving me a speeding ticket. Instead he gave me an informal salute and wished me "Have a nice day, sir."

My reply was a coup-de-grace, icing-on-the-cake. I spoke in a robotic monotone. "Your cooperation is greatly appreciated, officer."

Then I resumed my journey back to work, sticking to the speed limit this time. I had no desire to try the same trick again.

And that is how I managed to get saluted by a cop for speeding.

Thoughts, comments? For the legal professionals among you, have I broken any Federal laws?

I haven't read all of the other replies, but I'm hoping someone else has had the sense to say something like this... that was bloody stupid. At just 5 miles over the speed limit, there's a massively increased chace of death for anyone you hit (and don't tell me any rubbish about no pedestrians being on the road - number 1, they could have came out of nowhere, and number 2, you could have hit a car, which obviously has people in it if it's being driven). 20 miles OVER is disgusting. You are either extremely stupid, or place no value on the lives of others. And don't give me any rubbish about being an ace driver either - a car suddenly stalls or turns without indicating, I don't care how good a driver you are, at 20mph over the speed limit, you're gonna crash into it. Simple as. Now do everyone a favour and don't EVER drive again.

/long story
Amusing. I'll always find it amusing how cops are apparently unable to touch government vehicles for a lot of traffic offences.

I haven't read all of the other replies, but I'm hoping someone else has had the sense to say something like this... that was bloody stupid. At just 5 miles over the speed limit, there's a massively increased chace of death for anyone you hit (and don't tell me any rubbish about no pedestrians being on the road - number 1, they could have came out of nowhere, and number 2, you could have hit a car, which obviously has people in it if it's being driven). 20 miles OVER is disgusting. You are either extremely stupid, or place no value on the lives of others. And don't give me any rubbish about being an ace driver either - a car suddenly stalls or turns without indicating, I don't care how good a driver you are, at 20mph over the speed limit, you're gonna crash into it. Simple as. Now do everyone a favour and don't EVER drive again.
If you think that's bad, you definately won't like how much I have sped in the past.