NationStates Jolt Archive


A Child Support Question

Grainne Ni Malley
18-05-2006, 03:12
If anyone here is familiar with child support, I have a question.

My boyfriend had been trying for ten years, since the seperation from his wife, to get a paternity test for the daughter that she gave birth to while they were apart. It was finally granted and the test results came in today. He is not the father.

My question is this: Can he get the ten years worth of child support paid out back?

I appreciate anyone who might be able to answer this giving some feedback. Thanks!
AllCoolNamesAreTaken
18-05-2006, 03:33
If anyone here is familiar with child support, I have a question.

My boyfriend had been trying for ten years, since the seperation from his wife, to get a paternity test for the daughter that she gave birth to while they were apart. It was finally granted and the test results came in today. He is not the father.

My question is this: Can he get the ten years worth of child support paid out back?

I appreciate anyone who might be able to answer this giving some feedback. Thanks!

Depends on your state. Most of them will not just "award" the money back to him. You may have to hire a lawyer and sue her in civil court.
PasturePastry
18-05-2006, 04:00
My guess would be no, but if he is lucky, he might be able to get any amount in arrears waived.
AB Again
18-05-2006, 04:03
I would guess that if he can identify the father then he can sue him for the money. It does not seem right that the daughter (who is after all innocent in all this) should be made to suffer financial hardship due to the duplicity of her mother.
Maybe, however, he would have a valid civil case against his ex wife, if he can show that she knew he was not the father.
AllCoolNamesAreTaken
18-05-2006, 04:05
My guess would be no, but if he is lucky, he might be able to get any amount in arrears waived.

Luck wouldn't be any part of that. Any arrearage and any future payments should be easy to quash. But getting paid back is tricky.

The state will say "well, you weren't paying her, you were paying for the child" regardless if she spent the money on CD's at Wall-Mart. You would have to get a good lawyer who could successfully argue that either 1) she misrepresented the child's paternity in order to defraud him, or 2) (much harder) that the child was paid erroneously, and as the child's legal guardian, the mother would be responsible for making restitution.
Grainne Ni Malley
18-05-2006, 04:13
Depends on your state. Most of them will not just "award" the money back to him. You may have to hire a lawyer and sue her in civil court.

I figured a lawyer would have to be hired because it was the DA's office that was playing games with him these past ten years (like not informing him of the test date and then saying he missed it once).

If it were as simple as a "mistake", I don't think much of anything could be done about it, but they literally screwed with him.

My guess would be no, but if he is lucky, he might be able to get any amount in arrears waived.

I certainly hope for at least that much since he never accepted responsibility for her and probably shouldn't be held responsible for a child that's not his just because the DA's office wouldn't allow him a paternity test. There's something close to $28,000 in arrears so I really hope they don't plan on pursuing that! (Yikes.)
Teh_pantless_hero
18-05-2006, 04:23
If he can get a good lawyer and prove an ongoing program of deception to prevent him from getting a paternity test, he might be able to sue her for it, but even then I wouldn't put money on ever getting it back.
Ashmoria
18-05-2006, 04:25
he doesnt need a lawyer

he needs the best lawyer in nevada

if he gets the wrong lawyer and the wrong judge he'll not only not get his money back but he will have to continue paying child support for the next 8 years. other men in this circumstance have had to do just that on the theory that he has been her father for 10 years and its wrong to change it now.
Teh_pantless_hero
18-05-2006, 04:29
I could go into the problems with the child support/custody system, but a bunch of radical and closet feminists would end up riding my ass and this thread would go way off-topic.
Grainne Ni Malley
18-05-2006, 04:41
he doesnt need a lawyer

he needs the best lawyer in nevada

if he gets the wrong lawyer and the wrong judge he'll not only not get his money back but he will have to continue paying child support for the next 8 years. other men in this circumstance have had to do just that on the theory that he has been her father for 10 years and its wrong to change it now.


This is an interstate case unfortunately. She resides in California and this is where welfare established the child support case. She has been on disablitily and welfare throughout, which is really neither here nor there.

He has been trying to explain to the DA's office from the very beginning that they seperated because she cheated on him with his brother-in-law, his boss, three of his friends and, the final straw which happened around the time of conception, her ex-boyfriend.

We have nothing against the daughter at all, who is a really beautiful child and we had even hoped might be his despite the financial hardship. The hardest part has simply been being left in the dark for so long. We don't want the mother or the child to suffer when the DA's office could have prevented this whole fiasco in the beginning by simply letting him get the paternity test.
AllCoolNamesAreTaken
18-05-2006, 04:41
I could go into the problems with the child support/custody system, but a bunch of radical and closet feminists would end up riding my ass and this thread would go way off-topic.

Yeah, I keep looking over my shoulder since I posted in this thread. They'll be here soon...I can feel their man-hate....
Oxymoon
18-05-2006, 04:57
Yeah, I keep looking over my shoulder since I posted in this thread. They'll be here soon...I can feel their man-hate....

That's not fair. A feminist believes in equality, which is NOT hate of men. Those who hate men have gone to the "female supremacy" side of the spectrum, which is not feminism, just another form of sexism.

Anyway, I'd try suing the state, not her. Theoretically, they're the ones at fault.
Grainne Ni Malley
18-05-2006, 05:00
Yeah, I keep looking over my shoulder since I posted in this thread. They'll be here soon...I can feel their man-hate....

Being a woman. I'll be more than happy to stand up to any ultra-feminist spitting hate on this topic.

This is a case where the man was neither irresponsible nor trying to screw over a single mother. So... so... BUGGER OFF!
AllCoolNamesAreTaken
18-05-2006, 05:00
That's not fair. A feminist believes in equality, which is NOT hate of men. Those who hate men have gone to the "female supremacy" side of the spectrum, which is not feminism, just another form of sexism.

Anyway, I'd try suing the state, not her. Theoretically, they're the ones at fault.

We are refering to a couple of specific individuals. TPH word choice was poor in this instance. I consider myself to be a feminist in that I believe all people are created equal and sex based descrimination OF ANY KIND is wrong and intolerable.

The-people-who-will-not-be-named claim to be merely "feminist", when if fact they support a victim culture that punitively punishes men for being men.
Oxymoon
18-05-2006, 05:20
We are refering to a couple of specific individuals. TPH word choice was poor in this instance. I consider myself to be a feminist in that I believe all people are created equal and sex based descrimination OF ANY KIND is wrong and intolerable.

The-people-who-will-not-be-named claim to be merely "feminist", when if fact they support a victim culture that punitively punishes men for being men.

Ah, that's what you mean. Glad to know that you're against all sex-based discrimination.

Anyway, I hold with my advice, although that's not going to be easy to prove either. Still, it's a lawyer's advice that you need. Actually, that's a good problem to bring to Len Tillem! He works in California, and is really good at giving lawyer-y advice for free. He'll tell you exactly what needs to be done, and whether or not the suit is worth pursuing. Go to the KGO website, find Len Tillem's section, and email him (although you might want to refrain from using the real names involved, in case he airs the problem).
Vittos Ordination2
18-05-2006, 05:23
he doesnt need a lawyer

he needs the best lawyer in nevada

if he gets the wrong lawyer and the wrong judge he'll not only not get his money back but he will have to continue paying child support for the next 8 years. other men in this circumstance have had to do just that on the theory that he has been her father for 10 years and its wrong to change it now.

I would like to think that the fact that fatherhood was forced upon him and he has actively opposed it would weigh heavily on this particular case.
The Black Forrest
18-05-2006, 06:04
I would like to think that the fact that fatherhood was forced upon him and he has actively opposed it would weigh heavily on this particular case.

:D Ahhh here we go again.

If he was banging her without protection, was it forced on him? Many guys bitch about having to wear them.....
AB Again
18-05-2006, 06:07
:D Ahhh here we go again.

If he was banging her without protection, was it forced on him? Many guys bitch about having to wear them.....

Read the thread before opening your mouth. The kid isn't his.
Secret aj man
18-05-2006, 06:07
If anyone here is familiar with child support, I have a question.

My boyfriend had been trying for ten years, since the seperation from his wife, to get a paternity test for the daughter that she gave birth to while they were apart. It was finally granted and the test results came in today. He is not the father.

My question is this: Can he get the ten years worth of child support paid out back?

I appreciate anyone who might be able to answer this giving some feedback. Thanks!


depends on the state...common law comes into play in this situation.

my daughter,who i have raised as a my own..is not..tech i could sue my ex for support and probably the father...but i choose not too...it would be demeaning to me and her.
my son is my kid with my ex...and i could sue for support..but it also would bother me also..as she has enough problems,hell i lent her 4000.00 to adopt my nephew whom i love like my own.

yes i am best friends with my ex...so my situation is different then most.

getting back support sounds vindictive to me..like something the state would do..to get back welfare or something.

oh,and i am far from being rich...you either love a kid and support and raise them or you dont!

my 2 cents,but i have a different situation i guess.

to me..kids aint about money,i would have a porcshe if i cared about money,not writing bad checks to the electric company.
The Black Forrest
18-05-2006, 06:20
Read the thread before opening your mouth. The kid isn't his.

Was that comment directed to you?

It's a reference to a previous argument.
THE LOST PLANET
18-05-2006, 06:22
You definitely need to check the laws of the state. Certain states, such as South Carolina don't care about paternity tests. If you were married at the time of birth, the kid is yours to support there. Others may cut off future obligations but may not allow for recovery of past payments. In many it may come down to why it took so long to get the paternity test. If they don't feel he pursued it agressively enough and he can't prove she decieved him on purpose, even the most liberal state may say "too late, Buddy".
AB Again
18-05-2006, 06:26
Was that comment directed to you?

It's a reference to a previous argument.

In that case make the reference explicit or direct the comment in some way. This is a public forum and anything you post is directed to everyone unless you indicate otherwise. Particularly a comment that is as general as:
:D Ahhh here we go again.

If he was banging her without protection, was it forced on him? Many guys bitch about having to wear them.....

Who is the he? Who is the her? This thread is about child support for a child that is not the man's child. This leaves it implicit that the he is the man paying the support and the her is the mother. So next time be clear if it is a private joke.
The Nazz
18-05-2006, 06:37
Other people have mentioned it, so I'll just reiterate--it depends ont he state, and that's a bitch to deal with because of the patchwork of laws dealing with support. And the truth is that the test probably won't change much, at least in terms of getting money back. It might let him off the hook for the future, but that all depends on the state and the judge.

Here's probably the most telling question as far as I can tell--has he been a part of the child's life? Does she call him father? Does he have visitation? Is it likely that the state could make a case saying that he's acted as a father and therefore is still responsible for her? (Okay, that's four questions, but you get the picture.)

If the answers are yes, then your case is probably shot to hell. If no, it's less shot, but it'll still be a hard slog.
Dempublicents1
18-05-2006, 07:06
If anyone here is familiar with child support, I have a question.

My boyfriend had been trying for ten years, since the seperation from his wife, to get a paternity test for the daughter that she gave birth to while they were apart. It was finally granted and the test results came in today. He is not the father.

My question is this: Can he get the ten years worth of child support paid out back?

I appreciate anyone who might be able to answer this giving some feedback. Thanks!

It probably depends completely on the laws of the state. If they were technically still married, she may be seen as his daughter - actual paternity or not - because many states automatically recognize the man in a married couple as the father of any children.

Most likely, at the very least, he won't have to pay any further child support, unless he has simply grown attached to the child and wants to take care of her. As for getting the money back, I seriously doubt that will happen - and if the mother is in the kind of situation you describe, I'm not sure where the money would come from even if he could.

Out of curiosity, has he been involved in her life in any way other than monetary?
AllCoolNamesAreTaken
18-05-2006, 07:07
*immitates little girl voice, while staring at TV static*

They're he-re...


*runs away*
Mallowblasters
18-05-2006, 07:57
with our money obsessed ways, of course there will be some kind of crazy way to get your money back. Tho, this all depends on how badly you want it and how fabulous your expensive lawyer is.
The Black Forrest
18-05-2006, 08:14
In that case make the reference explicit or direct the comment in some way. This is a public forum and anything you post is directed to everyone unless you indicate otherwise. Particularly a comment that is as general as:


Who is the he? Who is the her? This thread is about child support for a child that is not the man's child. This leaves it implicit that the he is the man paying the support and the her is the mother. So next time be clear if it is a private joke.

Bitchy bitchy bitchy. It doesn't say I have to give a link so I can do just what I did. VO2 knows what I am talking about and will not reply because he knows what I am doing.

So There! :p
Evenrue
18-05-2006, 18:00
If anyone here is familiar with child support, I have a question.

My boyfriend had been trying for ten years, since the seperation from his wife, to get a paternity test for the daughter that she gave birth to while they were apart. It was finally granted and the test results came in today. He is not the father.

My question is this: Can he get the ten years worth of child support paid out back?

I appreciate anyone who might be able to answer this giving some feedback. Thanks!
I think he should! She was a hore so she should have to pay everything she stole from him.
Sorry for the horrible spelling.
Dempublicents1
18-05-2006, 18:23
I think he should! She was a hore so she should have to pay everything she stole from him.
Sorry for the horrible spelling.

The only problem with that is the question: who really gets hurt here? If the mother is already receiving government aid, and she is required to start paying out even more money, where do you think that child is going to get financial support?
Grainne Ni Malley
19-05-2006, 02:05
Just a quick response to some of the comments and a thanks for the responses before I'm back off to work!

A)We don't want to sue the mother even though she was dishonest because it would put the child's life and well-being in jeopardy.

B)The DA's office is responsible for doing everything they could to prevent him from getting the paternity test.

C)Yes, he was married to her when the child was conceived. However, as proven by the results of the paternity test, the child was conceived as a direct result of her infidelity. Hence, the reason they seperated. She had numerous flings!

D)She called him three months after their seperation to inform him that she was pregnant and the first words out of his mouth were, "I want a paternity test." He has never lived with nor acknowledged paternity of the child.

E)The only reason they were never divorced is because of the dispute over there being a child as isssue of marriage. Neither of them really had the money to get lawyers and fight it out.

F)I don't know anymore letters of the alphabet and work summons me.:p

Once again, thanks for the input everyone!
Native Quiggles II
19-05-2006, 02:13
If it's not his child, then that defeats the entire purpose of CHILD SUPPORT.


If the state delayed the tests, they should pay back the money.

If she defrauded him, she should pay it back.


End of story; it is unjust for the government to force a man to pay for the support of a child that is not his.
NERVUN
19-05-2006, 02:43
Some helpful stuff I've found for you.

California:
Can I get child support if I'm not sure who the father of my child is?

No. Paternity (a legal determination of who the father is) must be established before child support can be ordered. Paternity gives your child many rights, including child support, access to medical records, government benefits and more.

What if the father leaves the state before it's proven that he is the father?

The local court may use information they have to decide paternity without him. If paternity is established without the alleged father's cooperation, the court may order him to pay child support no matter where he lives, even if he is out of California.

The man doesn't have any money or even a job to support my child. Why should I bother proving that he is the father?

If you don't establish paternity, your child will not be able to get child support or health insurance even after the alleged father gets a job. Proving he is the father as soon as possible makes collecting child support easier later on.
http://www.childsup.cahwnet.gov/faq.asp

Is a father who never married the mother still required to pay child support?
The short answer to this question is yes. When a mother is not married, however, it's not always clear who the father is. An "acknowledged father" is any biological father of a child born to unmarried parents for whom paternity has been established by either the admission of the father or the agreement of the parents. Acknowledged fathers are required to pay child support. Additionally, a man who never married the child's mother may be presumed to be the father if he welcomes the child into his home and openly holds the child out as his own. In some states, the presumption of paternity is considered conclusive, which means it cannot be disproved, even with contradictory blood tests.
http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/paying-support/support-responsibility.html

(d) If an order decreasing or terminating a support order is
entered retroactively pursuant to this section, the support obligor
may be entitled to, and the support obligee may be ordered to repay,
according to the terms specified in the order, any amounts previously
paid by the support obligor pursuant to the prior order that are in
excess of the amounts due pursuant to the retroactive order. The
court may order that the repayment by the support obligee shall be
made over any period of time and in any manner, including, but not
limited to, by an offset against future support payments or wage
assignment, as the court deems just and reasonable. In determining
whether to order a repayment, and in establishing the terms of
repayment, the court shall consider all of the following factors:
(1) The amount to be repaid.
(2) The duration of the support order prior to modification or
termination.
(3) The financial impact on the support obligee of any particular
method of repayment such as an offset against future support payments
or wage assignment.
(4) Any other facts or circumstances that the court deems
relevant.
http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/displaycode?section=fam&group=03001-04000&file=3650-3654

CA's paternity tests law
http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/displaycode?section=fam&group=07001-08000&file=7550-7558

So if I understand the above, yes since he was not the father and never acknowledged the child as his own and never had anything to do with her, he should not be held liable under California law. Further more, the court can order repayment of the support.

In reality, get a good lawyer.
Dempublicents1
19-05-2006, 02:45
A)We don't want to sue the mother even though she was dishonest because it would put the child's life and well-being in jeopardy.

I have to say, I have a lot of respect for this decision. While it appears that the woman was deceptive and purposely defrauded him, she's unfortunately not the one who would be most affected by a try at revenge.

He sounds like a good guy who got seriously shafted. While I'm not sure that he can get that money back, I hope that his life resolves itself as best it can.

B)The DA's office is responsible for doing everything they could to prevent him from getting the paternity test.

He could certainly sue the DA in this matter, but without some sort of insider willing to testify that the DA did it with complete knowledge, it would be incredibly difficult to provide the burden of proof they would want on that.

C)Yes, he was married to her when the child was conceived. However, as proven by the results of the paternity test, the child was conceived as a direct result of her infidelity. Hence, the reason they seperated. She had numerous flings!

Oh, I certainly agree that he shouldn't be forced into responsibility for the child. The problem is that many state laws would recognize her as his child, regardles off paternity, simply because of the marriage. Most of the time, that doesn't cause problems, but this is exactly the case in which it might.

D)She called him three months after their seperation to inform him that she was pregnant and the first words out of his mouth were, "I want a paternity test." He has never lived with nor acknowledged paternity of the child.

That certainly helps his case. (I would think).
Marrakech II
19-05-2006, 03:16
I know that in California if a person sends payments for a child they are considered the father. Even though a paternity test later proves that he is not. California is extremely tough with child support issues. I would hire a good family lawyer. Good luck....
Grainne Ni Malley
19-05-2006, 03:19
I know that in California if a person sends payments for a child they are considered the father. Even though a paternity test later proves that he is not. California is extremely tough with child support issues. I would hire a good family lawyer. Good luck....

Would you happen to know if this includes wage attachments? He has never personally sent a check. The DA's office has always garnished his wages.
Dempublicents1
19-05-2006, 03:21
Would you happen to know if this includes wage attachments? He has never personally sent a check. The DA's office has always garnished his wages.

That would be awfully circular. "We took your money to give to the child, so now the child is yours." Huh?
Marrakech II
19-05-2006, 03:21
Would you happen to know if this includes wage attachments? He has never personally sent a check. The DA's office has always garnished his wages.

That is a good question. One for a good lawyer I would say. I am not sure. But my understanding is that if money is paid on a child it applies. However that money comes in. I do not know.
Marrakech II
19-05-2006, 03:22
That would be awfully circular. "We took your money to give to the child, so now the child is yours." Huh?

We are talking the government here. It is entirely possible.
Grainne Ni Malley
19-05-2006, 03:24
*snip*In reality, get a good lawyer.

Thank you so much for all of those links and the info! The good lawyer is where a call to my mother may come in. I am hoping she already has one on retainer who will consider his case.

Also, I think this might be pushing it, but he's also considering suing for mental anguish (i.e. 10 years of not knowing, etc.) for himself AND the girl. I'm pretty sure that he won't be able to, especially since he's not the legal guardian.

We are not sue-happy people, but I think this instance might warrant the effort. I'm just not sure if it's frivilous. Personally, I'd be happy if he got to see more than half of his normal wages for once.
Sheni
19-05-2006, 03:27
That would be contradicted by NERVUN's quotes from California law.
Vittos Ordination2
19-05-2006, 04:30
:D Ahhh here we go again.

If he was banging her without protection, was it forced on him? Many guys bitch about having to wear them.....

Sure, but its her decision to have the kid. What kind of justice is that?

But seriously, that is one discussion I don't want to have again any time soon.
NERVUN
19-05-2006, 04:43
Thank you so much for all of those links and the info! The good lawyer is where a call to my mother may come in. I am hoping she already has one on retainer who will consider his case.

Also, I think this might be pushing it, but he's also considering suing for mental anguish (i.e. 10 years of not knowing, etc.) for himself AND the girl. I'm pretty sure that he won't be able to, especially since he's not the legal guardian.

We are not sue-happy people, but I think this instance might warrant the effort. I'm just not sure if it's frivilous. Personally, I'd be happy if he got to see more than half of his normal wages for once.
I'd also try to get one in Reno. I know Nevada normally coperates with California in cases such as these, but he may be able to fight his money heading over the border for a child that isn't his even if California decides that he still should.
Marrakech II
19-05-2006, 05:25
Thank you so much for all of those links and the info! The good lawyer is where a call to my mother may come in. I am hoping she already has one on retainer who will consider his case.

.

An average family lawyer retainer is about 5-6k. That is just the retainer. These things are not cheap. I didn't see how much he was getting taken for per month. But this will cost you alot of cash either way.
The Black Forrest
19-05-2006, 05:59
Sure, but its her decision to have the kid. What kind of justice is that?

But seriously, that is one discussion I don't want to have again any time soon.

I wasn't looking for one! That is why there was a :D

;)
Harlesburg
20-05-2006, 00:06
If anyone here is familiar with child support, I have a question.

My boyfriend had been trying for ten years, since the seperation from his wife, to get a paternity test for the daughter that she gave birth to while they were apart. It was finally granted and the test results came in today. He is not the father.

My question is this: Can he get the ten years worth of child support paid out back?

I appreciate anyone who might be able to answer this giving some feedback. Thanks!
That really sucks, same thing happened to a guy here in NZ, and i think he succesfully got them oney from the Govenrment.
Deep Kimchi
20-05-2006, 00:35
I could go into the problems with the child support/custody system, but a bunch of radical and closet feminists would end up riding my ass and this thread would go way off-topic.

We could start with the fact that neither of my two ex-wives have ever paid a cent in child support for their children.

I was awarded full custody of the children in both cases.

Both women have been and are fully employed, both to the tune of around 90,000 dollars a year.
B0zzy
20-05-2006, 01:05
he doesnt need a lawyer

he needs the best lawyer in nevada

if he gets the wrong lawyer and the wrong judge he'll not only not get his money back but he will have to continue paying child support for the next 8 years. other men in this circumstance have had to do just that on the theory that he has been her father for 10 years and its wrong to change it now.
A very correct statement. He will not get off the hook for continued child support, he will not get a 'refund' - he will simply eliminate himself from any hope of custody (and likely cause some distress to the child)

Lesson? Be careful who you fuck.
Quaon
20-05-2006, 01:28
All I can say is get a damned good lawyer.
The Nazz
20-05-2006, 01:36
One other thing I'd add to this thread--don't expect to get a penny out of this. You'll walk away with a huge victory if you can get the payments stopped--that's about the best you can expect.
Grainne Ni Malley
20-05-2006, 01:47
A very correct statement. He will not get off the hook for continued child support, he will not get a 'refund' - he will simply eliminate himself from any hope of custody (and likely cause some distress to the child)

Lesson? Be careful who you fuck.

Pay close attention. The child is not his. There is NO HOOK to get off of. As a matter of fact, consider the dates involved. They seperated the first week in January of '96 and she had the child in the second week of October '96. She must have been thinking pregnancy lasts 10+ months.

He does not want custody. The child is not his. The child has already been distressed for thinking throughout 10 years that one certain man was her father and now knows, ten years later, that he is not. Now she has the distress of not knowing who her daddy is. It's been very stressful for everyone involved and the DA's office could have prevented it by granting the paternity test when it was requested in the first three months of the child's life.
Grainne Ni Malley
20-05-2006, 01:50
We could start with the fact that neither of my two ex-wives have ever paid a cent in child support for their children.

I was awarded full custody of the children in both cases.

Both women have been and are fully employed, both to the tune of around 90,000 dollars a year.

That is truly messed up. Have you filed a case to get child support?By all means the absent parent involved should pay support. It's not like a woman can say, "I don't think I'm the parent." There should be no questions asked! You should be getting child support.
Grainne Ni Malley
20-05-2006, 01:56
An average family lawyer retainer is about 5-6k. That is just the retainer. These things are not cheap. I didn't see how much he was getting taken for per month. But this will cost you alot of cash either way.


That is definitely a big "OUCH". Not impossible, but they did take an average of anywhere from $250 to $300 every month for 10 years (minus a few months here and there when he was unemployed, but he worked pretty steady throughout those years). It's truly a question of worth.

Now, the interesting thing is that they have been taking $92 dollars every two weeks from his checks since he's been at his most recent job -always $92. Since the result of this paternity test, his most recent check had $110 taken out. :confused:

That seems very odd to me, but there may be a perfectly normal reason for increasing the amount taken out AFTER the paternity test excluded him as the father. Right? :rolleyes:
Deep Kimchi
20-05-2006, 02:46
That is truly messed up. Have you filed a case to get child support?By all means the absent parent involved should pay support. It's not like a woman can say, "I don't think I'm the parent." There should be no questions asked! You should be getting child support.

I've filed the paperwork with the state. Evidently, running down deadbeat moms isn't their specialty. And it costs a lot of money to hire a lawyer to run them down.
Grainne Ni Malley
20-05-2006, 03:04
I've filed the paperwork with the state. Evidently, running down deadbeat moms isn't their specialty. And it costs a lot of money to hire a lawyer to run them down.

No more than hunting down deadbeat fathers, I would imagine. It sounds more like a form of reverse-sexism. (Oh, but that doesn't exist, does it? I should hush my mouth!)
B0zzy
20-05-2006, 14:26
Here are some articles you may find interesting;

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/10/28/1067233172668.html

http://www.ifeminists.net/introduction/editorials/2005/0601zizza.html
Carisbrooke
20-05-2006, 22:03
Hmmm I have to say this is a shitty situation and I feel REALLY bad for the poor little girl. I have no answer to what should happen about the money paid already by your boyfriend, but I don't think he should have to pay more.

My ex husband has to pay £88 a week for our three (they are all his with no doubt and no dispute) he wont give a penny extra and refuses to even give then pocket money or help me towards the cost of school uniform, trips etc.
He has seen them twice in 6 months and the last time he saw them (last week) it ended to badly that I had a distressed phone call from the middle child who had had an argument with him and was called a bitch and they had to leave the restaurant they were in before they had finished eating and he threatened to drag her into his car...she refused and he chased her across the car park...I had to drive across town to collect them and I suspect that he wont see them again for months..some men are just assholes.
Grainne Ni Malley
23-05-2006, 01:14
Here are some articles you may find interesting;

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/10/28/1067233172668.html

He has never accepted the child into his home nor has he ever personally accepted responsibility for the child. At no point in time has he acted as a father to the child. It wasn't out of irresponsibility, but he had a very good reason to suspect that the child might not be his and knew that if he even once implied consent to parentship -I know that's not the right word- he would immediately be held responsible for a child that's not his no matter what the outcome of the paternity test would be.

http://www.ifeminists.net/introduction/editorials/2005/0601zizza.html

This is very interesting as she put his name on the birth certificate as the father without his consent. Thank you for both links. :)
Dempublicents1
23-05-2006, 23:56
I've filed the paperwork with the state. Evidently, running down deadbeat moms isn't their specialty. And it costs a lot of money to hire a lawyer to run them down.

Ah, so she is supposed to pay child support - was ordered to by the courts, and is now not doing it. I thought you meant that you were never awarded child support at all.

Meanwhile, most states don't really have a specialty in tracking down any deadbeat parents. A few have policies of printing pictures in the paper. Some will garnish checks - although I don't know what the process is for that and it most likely gets less and less likely if the person is out of the state. As a general rule, if a parent refuses to pay child support - it just stays unpaid, either because the parent with custody doesn't pursue it, or because the state doesn't pursue it, or both. I know that my mother got paid child support twice. The second time, the check bounced.
Dempublicents1
24-05-2006, 00:00
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/10/28/1067233172668.html

Hmmmm

The man, who is representing himself, said he loved the child and expected to continue with regular weekend and school holiday access visits.

He said he opposed allowing the child's biological father to have access rights.

Asked by the woman's barrister if he considered himself the child's father, he said: "Emotionally I do, yes."

If he wants to act as a parent, then he needs to act as a parent.

http://www.ifeminists.net/introduction/editorials/2005/0601zizza.html

Women who do this intentionally certainly deserve all the scorn they are getting.

I have to seriously wonder, however, about any man who can love a child for 10 years, but ceases to care when he finds out that child isn't biologically his.
Sheni
24-05-2006, 00:43
I have to seriously wonder, however, about any man who can love a child for 10 years, but ceases to care when he finds out that child isn't biologically his.
Where was that brought up, exactly?
Skibereen
24-05-2006, 00:46
If anyone here is familiar with child support, I have a question.

My boyfriend had been trying for ten years, since the seperation from his wife, to get a paternity test for the daughter that she gave birth to while they were apart. It was finally granted and the test results came in today. He is not the father.

My question is this: Can he get the ten years worth of child support paid out back?

I appreciate anyone who might be able to answer this giving some feedback. Thanks!
If your boy friend has helped raise this child and been a part of this child's life then he is bag of shit for wanting the money back.

Sorry but he is.

If ...believing the child not to be his he has not played an active role in her life then good for him he should get lawyer. The rules are different from State to State.
Grainne Ni Malley
24-05-2006, 01:30
If your boy friend has helped raise this child and been a part of this child's life then he is bag of shit for wanting the money back.

Sorry but he is.

If ...believing the child not to be his he has not played an active role in her life then good for him he should get lawyer. The rules are different from State to State.

Well, you can certainly exclude the bag-of-shit hypothesis. He has never misled the child. in any way. He has never lived with her nor attempted to raise her. We feel particularly bad for the child, but if you ask me the mother is pretty crappy for lying about the father. She had to have known that he wasn't the father as she got pregnant after they seperated.

I have an 11-year old son and my boyfriend knows he is not the father, but has raised him completely by choice as his own. He is a good man and only wants what has been unfairly taken from him.
Grainne Ni Malley
24-05-2006, 01:37
Hmmmm



If he wants to act as a parent, then he needs to act as a parent.



Women who do this intentionally certainly deserve all the scorn they are getting.

I have to seriously wonder, however, about any man who can love a child for 10 years, but ceases to care when he finds out that child isn't biologically his.


Hmmm... over the 10 years he has only seen the child twice, once when he was serving the first set of court papers to the mother and just last month for the last court date where they finally awarded him the paternity test he's been requesting for 10 years.

It's not like he said, "Oh yeah, I know I'm your Daddy even though your mother and I seperated because she cheated on me several times." and then got the paternity test. He knew she wasn't his and never made the mistake of misleading the child, unlike the mother who somehow can't even think of who the father might be now.
Dempublicents1
24-05-2006, 03:45
Where was that brought up, exactly?

In the quoted article:

http://www.ifeminists.net/introducti...0601zizza.html

It talks about men who love children as their own, but later find that the children are not their own. The "ten years" comment came from this guy:

Meet Mia Terrazas. She's married to Enrique Terrazas, a paternity fraud victim. Her husband's ex-wife, Maria Acosta-Rymer, has confessed Enrique isn't the biological father of a child he raised as his own for ten years.

although, looking back at the article, it isn't clear whether or not he is trying to get out of parenting the child. It was the other guy in the article who apparently sued over it.


Hmmm... over the 10 years he has only seen the child twice, once when he was serving the first set of court papers to the mother and just last month for the last court date where they finally awarded him the paternity test he's been requesting for 10 years.

The post you are replying to was referring to the men in the articles Bozzy posted (the ones quoted in the post), not to your situation.
Grainne Ni Malley
24-05-2006, 04:55
The post you are replying to was referring to the men in the articles Bozzy posted (the ones quoted in the post), not to your situation.

Yes, I realized that a little belatedly. The reference to 10 years threw me off somewhat.