NationStates Jolt Archive

I got struck in the groin with a lightsaber a little while ago. As I writhed on the floor while a couple unsympathetic friends laughed, I managed to laugh too. Why? First, because I'm a goofball. But also out of relief. Relief that it was a toy lightsaber and not a real one.

Could you imagine that? You know that sometime, somewhere some jedi has experienced that unfortunate battle wound. I wince just thinking about it.

I wonder if they make lightsaber-resistant underwear. :p

I got struck in the groin with a lightsaber a little while ago. As I writhed on the floor while a couple unsympathetic friends laughed, I managed to laugh too. Why? First, because I'm a goofball. But also out of relief. Relief that it was a toy lightsaber and not a real one.

Could you imagine that? You know that sometime, somewhere some jedi has experienced that unfortunate battle wound. I wince just thinking about it.

I wonder if they make lightsaber-resistant underwear. :p
just thinking of that made me cringe a little...

although, I assume you wouldn't live through it...I mean, an upward hit, starting at the crotch and going up would have to hit some vital organs.

And I swear, your balls have to be made out of steel...how else would you be able to father two children?

And I swear, your balls have to be made out of steel...how else would you be able to father two children?

I'm a medical miracle. :cool:

I'm a medical miracle. :cool:

You have children, LG? Wow...I think I missed a thread or two...

Congratulations! [Albeit it very late]

You have children, LG? Wow...I think I missed a thread or two...

Congratulations! [Albeit it very late]

Yes. :) My little goofball just turned two and my wife has a bun in the oven. :)

I wonder if they make lightsaber-resistant underwear. :p
Can you imagine how thick and dense that underwear would have to be? I think I'd take my chances with the lightsaber otherwise :D

Ughh...that's scary...very scary...

...I've never done the statistics class thing, but for someone to be hit in the groin that much seems...unnatural. Have you investigated the possibility your nether regions exhibit an attractive force on medium to high velocity objects?

Well...seeing as how Jedi aren't supposed to fall and love and use their...packages...I wouldn't see them complaining much, aside from the writhing and the agony and the humiliation.

...I've never done the statistics class thing, but for someone to be hit in the groin that much seems...unnatural. Have you investigated the possibility your nether regions exhibit an attractive force on medium to high velocity objects?

They're pretty big, but I don't think they exhibit a gravitational pull. :p

Anakin: So you were casturated by a sith lord when you first joined here?

Mace Windu: I sure was. It hurt a lot, but I don't really need any gonads. Bein' a jedi and all.

Anakin: Is that why your lightsaber is pink?

Mace Windu: ... must restrain Samuel Jackson instincts... despite having no testosterone in blood...

Anakin: So you were casturated by a sith lord when you first joined here?

Mace Windu: I sure was. It hurt a lot, but I don't really need any gonads. Bein' a jedi and all.

Anakin: Is that why your lightsaber is pink?

Mace Windu: ... must restrain Samuel Jackson instincts... despite having no testosterone in blood...

"Basic, muthafucka, DO YOU SPEAK IT!?"

I got struck in the groin with a lightsaber a little while ago. As I writhed on the floor while a couple unsympathetic friends laughed, I managed to laugh too. Why? First, because I'm a goofball. But also out of relief. Relief that it was a toy lightsaber and not a real one.

Could you imagine that? You know that sometime, somewhere some jedi has experienced that unfortunate battle wound. I wince just thinking about it.

I wonder if they make lightsaber-resistant underwear. :p

Of course. A cortosis weave jockstrap to protect your lil' lightsaber.

Yes. :) My little goofball just turned two and my wife has a bun in the oven. :)
You know what's sad? I remember posts about Little Goofball's arrival (or at least baby threads).

The light saber would simply 'remove' the jewels, and as we saw what was taken can be made new. So a light saber groin shot would be a chance for a bit of an 'upgrade,' so to speak...

You know what's sad? I remember posts about Little Goofball's arrival (or at least baby threads).

The light saber would simply 'remove' the jewels, and as we saw what was taken can be made new. So a light saber groin shot would be a chance for a bit of an 'upgrade,' so to speak...

...Duuuuude...

Actually a quick clean solution to the testicles in bear trap problem.

*whooosh!*

Solved.

You know what's sad? I remember posts about Little Goofball's arrival (or at least baby threads).

Those were cute, weren't they? :)

The light saber would simply 'remove' the jewels, and as we saw what was taken can be made new. So a light saber groin shot would be a chance for a bit of an 'upgrade,' so to speak...

:D Upgrade...I like it.

I don't know how painful the initial chopping off the package would actually be. I mean the lightsaber would probably cautarize the "wound". It is the aftermath which would hurt.....not being able to go and all.:confused:

The light saber would simply 'remove' the jewels, and as we saw what was taken can be made new. So a light saber groin shot would be a chance for a bit of an 'upgrade,' so to speak...

Are you saying that the new two apples and a banana would be robotic like Luke's arm? Would he be able to impregnate a woman?

Yes. :) My little goofball just turned two and my wife has a bun in the oven. :)
A goofy-fetus?






:eek:

A goofy-fetus?






:eek:

If he holds true to form, I suspect that sometime during the course of the next few months, LG will place his hand on his wifes stomach to feel the mini-LG moving. At that point, mini-LG will use some kind of wierd chi based kung-fu and deliver another crushing blow to LG's testicles...:p

Of course. A cortosis weave jockstrap to protect your lil' lightsaber.

*wikis cortosis* Ah! Yes, that'd do nicely. :)

*Loves Wikipedia; A geek's best friend.*

If he holds true to form, I suspect that sometime during the course of the next few months, LG will place his hand on his wifes stomach to feel the mini-LG moving. At that point, mini-LG will use some kind of wierd chi based kung-fu and deliver another crushing blow to LG's testicles...:p

:eek:

I got poked in the eye with a toy lightsaber and one things for sure,I wasnt laughing. What kind of plastic do they make those things out of anyway?

I got poked in the eye with a toy lightsaber and one things for sure,I wasnt laughing. What kind of plastic do they make those things out of anyway?

Well, the one I got hit with was the collectable made by MasterReplicas. It's made of polycarbonate. I'm not sure about the less expensive toys, but I suspect they're either polycarbonate, or acrylic.

This thread makes me think of all the heckling Triumph the comic dog has been doing on Star Wars fans. He is hilarious. Did anyone see him making fun of the Star Wars fans on the street?

This thread makes me think of all the heckling Triumph the comic dog has been doing on Star Wars fans. He is hilarious. Did anyone see him making fun of the Star Wars fans on the street?

Nah, but I wanted to show up at the opening day of Episode 3 dressed up like Spock or something.:p

This thread makes me think of all the heckling Triumph the comic dog has been doing on Star Wars fans. He is hilarious. Did anyone see him making fun of the Star Wars fans on the street?
On Conan? :D

And where have you been? Guess what thread is still alive :eek:

Nah, but I wanted to show up at the opening day of Episode 3 dressed up like Spock or something.:p
They would kill you.

On Conan? :D

And where have you been? Guess what thread is still alive :eek:



Yeah I saw it on Conan and some other channel. :p

Ha! Yeah but it got moved to the brown forum. Still, it is worthy of a gold spam award.

They would kill you.

Not with my trusty phaser and tricorder in hand.

Yeah I saw it on Conan and some other channel. :p

Ha! Yeah but it got moved to the brown forum. Still, it is worthy of a gold spam award.
Conan is my hero.

Worthy of a wiki *nod* (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Choose_wisely.....)

Not with my trusty phaser and tricorder in hand.
Pwnd.

Conan is my hero.

Worthy of a wiki *nod* (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Choose_wisely.....)


"You look like you were made from parts of lesser nerds."

lol


that is awesome. I'm so proud Ruff :-)

"You look like you were made from parts of lesser nerds."

lol


that is awesome. I'm so proud Ruff :-)
:eek: :cool:

I rock! I mean.. I kick ass!

This thread makes me think of all the heckling Triumph the comic dog has been doing on Star Wars fans. He is hilarious. Did anyone see him making fun of the Star Wars fans on the street?
You mean this one, Return of the Dorks (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob0TkqEwhbk&search=triumph%20star%20wars)? :D

"How do you explain this to your imaginary girlfriend?"

You mean this one, Return of the Dorks (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob0TkqEwhbk&search=triumph%20star%20wars)? :D

"How do you explain this to your imaginary girlfriend?"


ha! yes that one.

ha! yes that one.
It's scary... in so many ways! :p

*refering to Darth Vader's chest controls* "Which of these calls your parents to pick you up?"

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! :D

LG, you should really see a doctor. Not cos anything is wrong, just so they can try and find out how you have invici-balls. I want invinci-balls.

LG, you should really see a doctor. Not cos anything is wrong, just so they can try and find out how you have invici-balls. I want invinci-balls.

How would we rochambeau?

How would we rochambeau?

Oh, they hurt just fine. They just don't break. At least, nothing has broken em so far. *knocks on wood* :D

Oh, they hurt just fine. They just don't break. At least, nothing has broken em so far. *knocks on wood* :D
:eek:

The children, dude! Think of the children!

Oh, they hurt just fine. They just don't break. At least, nothing has broken em so far. *knocks on wood* :D
Kids these days are deadly shots with a football. You have been warned.

EDIT: This is Goof we're talking about here. No kid with a rugby ball holds any fear, not anymore.

I wonder if they make lightsaber-resistant underwear. :p

Skipping most of the thread (not so interested in Jedi-Circumsision) but Mandalorian Super-Commando Combat Armour (IE the stuff Boba Fett and Jango Fett wear) is Force and lightsaber proof...

Thats why the empire recruited/enslaved the Mandalorians to kill the jedi

Lucas ruined so much of the story with Ep2...
Jango is NOT related to Boba... Boba ISNT a clone..and their armour is jedi-proof :\

Kids these days are deadly shots with a football. You have been warned.

EDIT: This is Goof we're talking about here. No kid with a rugby ball holds any fear, not anymore.

I've been racked by the best of em. :)

Skipping most of the thread (not so interested in Jedi-Circumsision) but Mandalorian Super-Commando Combat Armour (IE the stuff Boba Fett and Jango Fett wear) is Force and lightsaber proof...

Thats why the empire recruited/enslaved the Mandalorians to kill the jedi

Lucas ruined so much of the story with Ep2...
Jango is NOT related to Boba... Boba ISNT a clone..and their armour is jedi-proof :\

*raises hand* Pardon me but I have a silly question: How can one ruin one's own story?

*raises hand* Pardon me but I have a silly question: How can one ruin one's own story?
By taking your own story and changing it, thereby ruining it for many of the people who loved it as it was in the first place?

Like Shakespeare deciding to change the ending of "Romeo and Juliet", so that in the official version they don't die but live together in happiness for the rest of their days. Sure, it's his story and he can do whatever he likes to it, but he has just ruined it.

Like that, I'd imagine...

By taking your own story and changing it, thereby ruining it for many of the people who loved it as it was in the first place?

Like Shakespeare deciding to change the ending of "Romeo and Juliet", so that in the official version they don't die but live together in happiness for the rest of their days. Sure, it's his story and he can do whatever he likes to it, but he has just ruined it.

Like that, I'd imagine...
actually, shakespeare doing that would just make it midsummers nights dream. No shakespeare play is definatly tragedy or comedy untill the last possible second. They all dance that fine line, particularly R&J


*scampers off to be an English dork elsewhere*

I've been racked by the best of em. :)

*Stands and salutes the man with balls of steel*

*Stands and salutes the man with balls of steel*

It's a dubious honor to say the least. :p

It's a dubious honor to say the least. :p

Honor hell, I am impressed with your survival.

*wikis cortosis* Ah! Yes, that'd do nicely. :)

*Loves Wikipedia; A geek's best friend.*

:D You know the scarier part is that I did NOT have to look that up....

*whistles and looks through her collection of Star Wars first person fighter games... chooses to replay Jedi Outcast for the gazillionth time*

Well, the one I got hit with was the collectable made by MasterReplicas. It's made of polycarbonate. I'm not sure about the less expensive toys, but I suspect they're either polycarbonate, or acrylic.


Those are cool; my friend has a Darth Vader (red) one and I love the sounds!

Skipping most of the thread (not so interested in Jedi-Circumsision) but Mandalorian Super-Commando Combat Armour (IE the stuff Boba Fett and Jango Fett wear) is Force and lightsaber proof...

Thats why the empire recruited/enslaved the Mandalorians to kill the jedi

Lucas ruined so much of the story with Ep2...
Jango is NOT related to Boba... Boba ISNT a clone..and their armour is jedi-proof :\

Um, yeah. The creator of the universe doesn't know his own universe.

Skipping most of the thread (not so interested in Jedi-Circumsision) but Mandalorian Super-Commando Combat Armour (IE the stuff Boba Fett and Jango Fett wear) is Force and lightsaber proof...

Thats why the empire recruited/enslaved the Mandalorians to kill the jedi

Lucas ruined so much of the story with Ep2...
Jango is NOT related to Boba... Boba ISNT a clone..and their armour is jedi-proof :\

Most, if not all, of the books written about the Star Wars universe are fanfictions not approved by Lucas.

Lucas, whether you like it or not, decides who Jango is related to, who Boba's a clone of, and who can totally own a New Zealander's Mandalorian-plated hiney.

Most, if not all, of the books written about the Star Wars universe are fanfictions not approved by Lucas.

Lucas, whether you like it or not, decides who Jango is related to, who Boba's a clone of, and who can totally own a New Zealander's Mandalorian-plated hiney.

The books I have each have the Lucasfilm copyright, meaning he approved them as part of the story.

Besides, I lost all respect for his narrative ability at Jar-Jar and midichlorians.

On topic, I think the Jedi circumcision is topped only by Vader directing his throat-crushing move towards the balls.

Well, we DO have Splinter of the Mind's Eye, in which Luke and Leia mudwrestle and... yeah, um, I don't want to think about this too much more either.

Oh, they hurt just fine. They just don't break. At least, nothing has broken em so far. *knocks on wood* :D

Oh, just you wait LG. Remember that scenario I outlined? Nature has a way of dealing with adversity by making the next generation stronger or more capable of dealing with threats. It could be that mini-LG version 2.0 will have a chi based attack called Ball Buster, a strike that will travel through your hand down to your balls where it will explode.

You've survived exterior attacks so far. But interior?