NationStates Jolt Archive

I know, its sad, but Im one of the few people it seems that actually watches TV. Mostly the History Channel, but meh :P
Anyway, Ive recently actually started READING those little disclaimers they put at the bottom of some kinds of commercials. After a while, you have to think that at least some of these are jokes, an advertising strategy perhaps, and a good one to my mind.

My favorite thus far is an SUV commercial that shows the car driving under water.
At the bottom of the screen in tiny letters, 'Fictionalization, vehicle not suited for underwater use.'
A close second is the Volvo (I think) commercial that shows a car driving down a straight road going about sixty or so. 'Warning, professional driver, closed course'.
Gosh.

Anyway, what are some of your favorites?

Seen on a Batman costume:
Warning: Cape does not enable user to fly.

Arena not included-Laser Tag Set

on 99%( if not all) air-soft guns

" dont shoot at people or animals"

On the side of an industrial clothes dryer when I was in the Navy: "Do not operate with people inside."

:D

A close second is the Volvo (I think) commercial that shows a car driving down a straight road going about sixty or so. 'Warning, professional driver, closed course'.
Gosh.

I always found those strange. So it's a car driving down a straight road. I see the disclaimer "Professional driver, closed course, DO NOT ATTEMPT!". I then say to myself out loud: So I'm not allowed to drive safely? Fuck yeah!

'allegedly'
I must have watched every HIGNFY episode ever made.

I always found those strange. So it's a car driving down a straight road. I see the disclaimer "Professional driver, closed course, DO NOT ATTEMPT!". I then say to myself out loud: So I'm not allowed to drive safely? Fuck yeah!
I want to see SPLATTER, people ;)

I kid you not.. on a bag of airline peanuts on the way to italy
Caution: May contain Nuts"

Noooo you think!!!!!!
Lolz

I kid you not.. on a bag of airline peanuts on the way to italy
Caution: May contain Nuts"

Noooo you think!!!!!!
Lolz

Odd, I have the same disclaimer on my jockstrap! :eek:

Odd, I have the same disclaimer on my jockstrap! :eek:
Are you not man enough to guarantee nuts in your jock?

Although it was almost certainly intentional, I once noticed this disclaimer on a copy of the computer game Lemmings:

"This game is not responsible for loss of hair, loss of sleep, or loss of sanity."

Meh, the usual. On sleeping pills "warning, may cause drowsiness".

May? The heck? They only might work?

Caution: May contain Nuts"

nsg ought to have something similar :p

Are you not man enough to guarantee nuts in your jock?

I don't always wear my jock in the usual location. :p

Personally, I like the disclaimer in Cluichstan's signature.

The Misbehaving Sultanate of Cluichstan is not responsible any possible side effects of this post. Possible side effects include uncontrollable laughter, nausea, diarrhea, incontinence, sexual arousal, floods, earthquakes, acne, and unwanted pregnancy.

Cialis has the best disclaimer:

"Erections lasting more than four hours require immediate medical attention"

Cialis has the best disclaimer:

"Erections lasting more than four hours require immediate medical attention"

I believe Ron White had some fun with those.

Cialis has the best disclaimer:

"Erections lasting more than four hours require immediate medical attention"

That is a good one. And probably quite true.

I don't always wear my jock in the usual location. :p
You use them as a surgens mask too?

You use them as a surgens mask too?

Hmmm i hope you wash it first. Pubes and an overwhelming smeel of smeg otherwise. tasty.

Liasia']Hmmm i hope you wash it first. Pubes and an overwhelming smeel of smeg otherwise. tasty.

You didn't even factor in the possibility of it being somebody else's jockstrap. :p

You didn't even factor in the possibility of it being somebody else's jockstrap. :p

sick and twisted. nice one.

Liasia']sick and twisted. nice one.

And that's only the beginning of LG's abilities... :eek:

And that's only the beginning of LG's abilities... :eek:

Can he make balloon animals? If so, he's coming to my next party. I don't care if im 17 i want a clown dammit!

Caution:Filling may be hot.

On an apple pie

Liasia']Can he make balloon animals? If so, he's coming to my next party. I don't care if im 17 i want a clown dammit!

Of course! What kind of clown would I be if I couldn't?

((Actually, many clowns can't))

I think LG should have this dislaimer on all his posts:

Warning: Reading this post may result in your beverage coming out your nose. Lunatic Goofballs (TM) is in no way responsible for loss of said beverage, clean up costs, or replacements for sticky keyboards.

The best...

http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=yoyo.jpg&category=Instructions&date=2002-10-24

Seen on a Batman costume:
Warning: Cape does not enable user to fly.
Sadly enough, that particular warning has a story behind it ...

in that vein, on a japanese-built food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."

I have to agree about the sleeping pills thing. On my bottle of Ambien: "This drug may impair the ability to drive or operate machinery. Use care until you become familiar with its effects" and "may cause drowsiness. Alcohol may intensify this effect. Use care when operating a car or dangerous machinery."

On a Korean kitchen knife- "Please keep out of children" :D

I think if the number of disclaimers was proportional to the danger of a product, glass coffee carafes and folding ladders would be considered the most dangerous consumer products in the world.

On a hairdryer

"Not to be used while sleeping."

Odd, I have the same disclaimer on my jockstrap! :eek:

Proof! I demand to be shown proof of its contents. :p

On chainsaws: Caution, do not attempt to stop chain with limbs and/or genitals.

...OW!

Or on curling irons: Warning, do not place in any bodily orifices.

The most useless warning: "Use only as directed" for products that have no directions for use.