NationStates Jolt Archive

Discuss! :D

Fit, sporty people. More protein, less fat. Though fattys would be easier to catch.....

Dick Cheney...then I'd absorb all his evil powers and become invincible, muwahahahaha!!!

I'd like to say I'd eat emos, preps and chavs, but I don't think their meat could possibly be safe. I mean, all that makeup, drugs, unsafe sex, and what is that? Glitter?

I guess I'd just have to settle for eating babies.

Mmm, babies... :p

Dick Cheney...then I'd absorb all his evil powers and become invincible, muwahahahaha!!!

Oh comon...You know that never works out right.

Oh comon...You know that never works out right.

It would probably kill me...or turn me into a hideous, vile creature (Republican Senator).

i'd eat arnie (or some other mental bodybuilder) - protein from muscles and steroids for asthma and eczma. food that heals you! awesome!

Stephen Hawking.

Stephen Hawking.

Ew. Necrocannabalism.

Ew. Necrocannabalism.
...err...what? Stephen Hawking isn't dead...is he?!

...err...what? Stephen Hawking isn't dead...is he?!

:p Nah, just wanted to say that. :D

...err...what? Stephen Hawking isn't dead...is he?!
No.

Ew. Necrocannabalism.

well it's gotta be better than eating someone while they're still alive - they'd probably kick your teeth out while you were nibbling their toes.

:p Nah, just wanted to say that. :D
...damn near gave me a heart attack! :mad:

...damn near gave me a heart attack! :mad:

Darn, we were gonna eat you if'n it killed you. :p

(restrains self from 'Your mom' joke)
Ummm...your mom!
...
D'oh!

(restrains self from 'Your mom' joke)
Ummm...your mom!
...
D'oh!

I was expecting "Errr....uuuhhh....Your dad!"

...err...what? Stephen Hawking isn't dead...is he?!

well no, but he probably wouldnt put up a fight so he might as well be. I dont know who to eat. all the ones that deserve it probably wouldnt be safe. I considered the population of Doncaster (for people outside the UK, Doncaster is a giant steel shanty town where all the chavs and inbreds live. If you drive through it with the windows roled down, you get syphilis.) but they would probably eat me first. And I cant eat attractive people because, well, they might have slept with me otherwise and I'd be missing out. and ugly people are probably foul tasting. old people are stringy, and i dont want to eat kids. and fatties are fatty and thin people tasteless. so who is not young or old, or attractive or ugly? or fat or thin? Catherine Zeta Jones! medium in every way.

Canadians of course.

Ew. Necrocannabalism.

I think it would be all necrocannabalism, unless the people were eaten while alive.

Pat Robertson, bbq style.

I think I'd taste pretty damn good with some spices and a little bit of lemon.

I would say Fred Phelps, but he probably would taste terrible.

Fat people.

I would say Fred Phelps, but he probably would taste terrible.

He would claw his way out of your stomach. And you'd get food poisoning. Not a good idea.

He would claw his way out of your stomach. And you'd get food poisoning. Not a good idea.

I'll go with Fat People then, I would never be hungry again!

Bill O'Reilly, just to shut him up.

He would claw his way out of your stomach. And you'd get food poisoning. Not a good idea.
Good story for the grand kids tho..

I'll go with Fat People then, I would never be hungry again!
Start with Michael Moore. :)

Start with Michael Moore. :)

Yea, and then to Rush Limbaugh. Although eating Rush might give me a bad trip, what with the pills and all.

I for one, choose death. Dignity is more to be prized than a well cooked and tasty meal.

Discuss! :D

angelina jolie

Stephen Hawking.
!
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?

This thread put me off my tea :(

He would claw his way out of your stomach. And you'd get food poisoning. Not a good idea.
He wouldn't claw out, he'd just burst out like every other work of Giger's.

If I became cannibalistic, I'd probably turn vegetarian...

Would have to be Bin Laden, simply because his meat would be so prized...

Voice over: Hello! As a navel officer I abhor the implication that the Royal Navy is a haven for cannibalism. It is well known that we now have the problem relatively under control, and that it is just the RAF who now suffer the largest casualties in this area. And what do you think the Argylls ate in Aden. Arabs? Yours etc. Captain B. J. Smethwick in a white wine sauce with shallots, mushrooms and garlic.
...
Fifth Sailor: Listen...chaps...there's still a chance. I'm...done for, I've...got a gammy leg and I'm going fast; I'll never get through. But...some of you might. So...you'd better eat me.
First Sailor: Eat you, sir?
Fifth Sailor: Yes. Eat me.
Second Sailor: Uuuggghhh! With a gammy leg?
Fifth Sailor: You needn't eat the leg, Thompson. There's still plenty of good meat. Look at that arm.
Third Sailor: It's not just the leg, sir.
Fifth Sailor: What do you mean?
Third Sailor: Well, sir...it's just that -
Fifth Sailor: Why don't you want to eat me?
Third Sailor: I'd rather eat Johnson, sir!
Second Sailor: So would I, sir.
Fifth Sailor: I see.
Fourth Sailor: Well, that's settled then. Everyone's gonna eat me!
First Sailor: Uh, well...
Third Sailor: What, sir?
First Sailor: Go ahead, please, but I won't -
Fourth Sailor: Oh nonsense, sir, you're starving; Tuck in!
First Sailor: No, no, it's not that.
Second Sailor: What's the matter with Johnson, sir?
First Sailor: Well, he's not kosher.
Third Sailor: That depends how we kill him, sir.
First Sailor: Yes, that's true. But to be perfectly frank I...I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.
Second Sailor: Oh well, all right.
Third Sailor: I still prefer Johnson.
Fifth Sailor: I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me.
Second Sailor: Look. I tell you what. Those who want to can eat Johnson. And you, sir, can have my leg. And we make some stock from the Captain, and then we'll have Johnson cold for supper.
Crew: (cacophonous) Hmm, yes, good idea, excellent thinking, very good, I don't suppose we could have Hodges in the morning, jolly good idea, etc.

What did one cannibal say to the other while eating a clown?:confused:

Does this taste funny???:D

Discuss! :D
Tink... Smunkeeville... Cabra West... Orchid... Peechland... The Chocolate Goddess... and several others.


of course I won't Devour them... but I'd eat them... as often and for as long as I can. ;)

Tink... Smunkeeville... Cabra West... Orchid... Peechland... The Chocolate Goddess... and several others.


of course I won't Devour them... but I'd eat them... as often and for as long as I can. ;)
Someone just went WAAAAAAAAAY up in the polls.
*nods*

Does this taste funny???:D
Hey, it was Lunatic Goofballs that was supposed to take that one, i think. :(

wonder how many people would invite their Boss/Teacher/Professor over for Dinner?

I'd say my Physics teacher, but I'm not sure it'd count as cannibalism... what does everyone think? Ungodly offspring of a woman and a rottweiler - human or not?

i would eat jehova wittnesses. cause they are really annoying.

Hmmmmmmmmz I think Iam going to go with Kanye West, itd be good to get his egotistical ass off this earth.

Jessica Simpson.

Jessica Simpson.
"Mmmm... Tastey but somehow... lacking in substance..."

"Mmmm... Tastey but somehow... lacking in substance..."
Heh indeed. A decent meal nonetheless.

I'd say my Physics teacher, but I'm not sure it'd count as cannibalism... what does everyone think? Ungodly offspring of a woman and a rottweiler - human or not?
Sounds like my PE teacher... and all her offspring in the retard classes;)

They are plump and juicy and eat lots of pineapple.

They are plump and juicy and eat lots of pineapple.LOL... I wanna see you try it. one Tita here will kick your @$$ and should you try to get the upper hand...

oh then i will really pity you... :p


tita
(tih tah)

Definition: an attitude or way of life where a local woman acts very rough or masculine. Pidgin is her first language. See also Moke.
Used In A Sentence: She shtay full on tita yeah?
In English?: She sure isn't like us is she?

I'll trade you one juicy Hawaiian raised on pineapple for one juicy kansas gal raised on bacon. Pound for pound, I expect to get the better deal.

Vegans. Preferably pacifistic ones.
I'm sure they'll make the sweetest little noises while being prepared for the roast!

!
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?

That is one of the funniest things Ive ever read, had me in stitches...

I'll trade you one juicy Hawaiian raised on pineapple for one juicy kansas gal raised on bacon. Pound for pound, I expect to get the better deal.
ok, but with this condition. they gotta be alive.

Pound for Pound... I say you will be hurting more than me. :D

Canadians of course.

Well we are pretty damn tasty...

*peers over at next desk. pulls out knife and fork...*

Vegans. Preferably pacifistic ones.
I'm sure they'll make the sweetest little noises while being prepared for the roast!I fear your stereotypes might get shattered if you tried ;)

PErsonally, I'd go for the PM.

I fear your stereotypes might get shattered if you tried ;)

PErsonally, I'd go for the PM.


Why fear? Anyway, grovelling is quite sexy. And I do recall quite well from my college that pacifists, when confronted with sadism, become quite helpless as all their preconceived security-beliefs are shattered.

Why fear? Anyway, grovelling is quite sexy. And I do recall quite well from my college that pacifists, when confronted with sadism, become quite helpless as all their preconceived security-beliefs are shattered.I see. Well perhaps I'm the one who'll have my stereotypes shattered then. I've never known a vegan pacifist, myself included.

I see. Well perhaps I'm the one who'll have my stereotypes shattered then. I've never known a vegan pacifist, myself included.


I'm not sure it is the vegan side. But it is the pacifist side.
One of their preconceived notions is that violence is always the result of flawed reasoning which can be corrected with patience.
What their ideology cannot deal with is the notion, or drive, of sheer sadism.

Discuss! :D

Monkeys.

I'm not sure it is the vegan side. But it is the pacifist side.
One of their preconceived notions is that violence is always the result of flawed reasoning which can be corrected with patience.
What their ideology cannot deal with is the notion, or drive, of sheer sadism.Ah.. Well that I'll agree with. I don't actually know any pacifists, but it does seem a horrendously naive philosophy

"Mmmm... Tastey but somehow... lacking in substance..."
Is this chicken or tuna?

:D

"Mmmm... Tastey but somehow... lacking in substance..."
Hmmm, doesn't smell like chicken! :p
"Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken by the Sea.'”

EDIT: props to Ill Rufferto
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10967805&postcount=65

Hmmm, doesn't smell like chicken! :p


EDIT: props to Ill Rufferto
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10967805&postcount=65
you using the same eating methods i use? ;)

you using the same eating methods i use? ;)
Oh i'd be a messy eater in that case.
Kinda like Kinison was saying about glazed donuts.


...wait, how do i know what your methods are? :eek:

If I went "cannibalistic" then I'm obvioulsly eating another human being. I can't say definatly IF I'd do it or not, at this moment. I haven't been put in that type of situation, hope I'm never put in that situation. If they were dead , freezing in the snow(like in Alive), I probably would do whatever it takes. Other than that, I really can't say what I'd do. It would depend on my will to survive.

Oh i'd be a messy eater in that case.
Kinda like Kinison was saying about glazed donuts.


...wait, how do i know what your methods are? :eek:
great minds think alike?

and I can't help it that it's so messy... it's not like they lie still right?

*Whistles innocently.*

great minds think alike?

and I can't help it that it's so messy... it's not like they lie still right?:D
*thumbs up .. and wherever*


*Whistles innocently.*You can still whistle by then?
You must chew a lot of gum too! ;)

Did you know that Camels milk is like many times more nutritous than a cows? With less of the negative health effects of cows milk. So.. if you are ever in a situation where you must choose between a camel and a cow.. choose the camel.

:D
*thumbs up .. and wherever*


You can still whistle by then?
You must chew a lot of gum too! ;)
Chew gum, played band (woodwind instrument), blowed alot of bubbles...

and ate allot of ice cream cones as well as fudgicles.

I trained hard... ;)

Did you know that Camels milk is like many times more nutritous than a cows? With less of the negative health effects of cows milk. So.. if you are ever in a situation where you must choose between a camel and a cow.. choose the camel.
ever wondered what went through the mind of the first person who tried cows milk?

was it something like...

"I'm gonna pulll on these and drink whatever comes out"

ever wondered what went through the mind of the first person who tried cows milk?

was it something like...

"I'm gonna pulll on these and drink whatever comes out"

Ooooh... my mind is so warped. Now I have the giggles and can't stop.

ever wondered what went through the mind of the first person who tried cows milk?

was it something like...

"I'm gonna pulll on these and drink whatever comes out"

Well tell that to the many, many people that have drank cows milk all their lives(including me). I'm noy saying that cows milk is BAD. I'm just saying that Camel milk is better.

Ooooh... my mind is so warped. Now I have the giggles and can't stop.
...yyyyyYYYYES!
Q'aplah!!!!
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/evil/1022.gif

Ah.. Well that I'll agree with. I don't actually know any pacifists, but it does seem a horrendously naive philosophy


*licks his chops*

Yeah, it is ever so naive, but it does give me the munchies!

Ah...People of course

I would have a Spice Girl fillet for lunch and then a Prince William steak for dinner.

a Prince William steak for dinner.
I think Harry would make for better eats myself.

Hm dunno who I would eat...

It Could Be You!!!!

"If you went cannibalistic, who would you eat?"

LMAO! I'm tempted to say whereyouthinkyougoing, or The Beautiful Darkness, or someone like that, but I won't. :D

Mmm, babies... :p
Yeah, infants. They look soft.

cannibals

Hm dunno who I would eat...

It Could Be You!!!!
Bite me! :p

High in beta carotene.
http://www.ticketspecialists.com/lasvegas/images/carrot-top.jpg

The pilots first...Then I'd turn on my friends.

Only the rude.

I'd kill and eat every straight man and gay woman so that I could hopefully have a chance at banging who is left.

cannibals

You are what you eat...

The most beautiful (http://imdb.com/name/nm0000161/) woman in the world!!!

The most beautiful (http://imdb.com/name/nm0000161/) woman in the world!!!
Hear, hear!

The most beautiful (http://imdb.com/name/nm0000161/) woman in the world!!!


not before I marinate her first, if you catch my drift ;)

ann coulter. yeah, thats right

You are what you eat...

hahahahahaha!/srcsm:p

I'd eat Bill Gates after he signs his will in my favor...

hahahahahaha!/srcsm:p
How do you prepare that?

Id eat homeless people on the streets late at night.

not before I marinate her first, if you catch my drift ;)
you take care of the Marinade, I'll stuff her. ;)

My old boss. I'd eat her head first, off a silver platter.

Congress, the president, and those below him.

Max Barry of course!

Discuss! :D
Keruvalia. If only for the variety.

I would eat fettucine with the head of Alfredo Garcia.

ann coulter. yeah, thats right
With a little bit of citrus to boot ...
http://www.ramdac.org/images/anncoulter1.jpg

I'd eat all the hippies,atheists,animal rights activests, people who burn the US flag, etc. with a whole lotta A1

I'd start with Sean Hannity. But just his legs at first, I'd want to hear his screaming pleas while my dog chewed on the femur I just threw her from the lovely meal.

I would eat fettucine with the head of Alfredo Garcia.
Sounds surprisingly tempting

I'd eat all the hippies,atheists,animal rights activests, people who burn the US flag, etc. with a whole lotta A1
Is this the "you are what you eat" angle?

Also - since you'd eat an atheist ... what kind of transubstantiation is that?

Is this the "you are what you eat" angle?

Also - since you'd eat an atheist ... what kind of transubstantiation is that?

No this isnt an "you are what you eat" and this isnt a transubstantiation...I think, aint that where you eat it to become it?

No this isnt an "you are what you eat" and this isnt a transubstantiation...I think, aint that where you eat it to become it?
Just clarifying. Didn't know if gluttony or revenge were the issue here.
Depends on your instincts i guess.

My Ex-Girlfriend,nuff said!

My current girl freind....;)