What If Heaven Sucks?
Xislakilinia
13-05-2006, 07:56
I think Christians, Muslims and Jews look forward to Heaven. The problem with Heaven is that you have to be there for All Eternity. Which is at least infinite times longer than 1 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 years.
What if Heaven isn't what it's cracked up to be? Can you take a transfer ticket out of town? Are there any clues in the holy books that hints that not everything is revealed about the true nature of Heaven?
What would ruin your vision of Paradise?
Thegrandbus
13-05-2006, 08:01
I think Christians, Muslims and Jews look forward to Heaven. The problem with Heaven is that you have to be there for All Eternity. Which is at least infinite times longer than 1 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 years.
What if Heaven isn't what it's cracked up to be? Can you take a transfer ticket out of town? Are there any clues in the holy books that hints that not everything is revealed about the true nature of Heaven?
What would ruin your vision of Paradise?
I'm not taking my Chances I'm hanging out with ceaser in Limbo!
:D
Dobbsworld
13-05-2006, 08:02
What would ruin your vision of Paradise?
Zombies. Zombies or giant rats.
No, definitely Zombies.
Xislakilinia
13-05-2006, 08:06
Zombies. Zombies or giant rats.
No, definitely Zombies.
For me, to be greeted by 72 virgins. Only to realize that they are all Sadakos (that scary ghost from Japanese horror flick the Ring). Crawling and pursuing me for all Eternity. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Oh and Christians. Conversation with one could kill me 11 times before I hit the floor. A Heaven packed with Christians would already be Hell from the get go.
Evil Barstards
13-05-2006, 08:11
Have a "fun" life, go to hell and you can piss people off for all eternity. Just think of all the practical jokes you could play with burning sulfur and pits of lava
Imperial Dark Rome
13-05-2006, 08:14
I'm not taking my Chances I'm hanging out with ceaser in Limbo!
:D
Hey, Ceaser is awsome!
~Satanic Reverend Medivh~
Thegrandbus
13-05-2006, 08:20
Well in all fairness we do have Jesus up there
http://gozips.uakron.edu/~klm10/images/buddychrist.jpg
Sorry couldn't help my self
Insert Quip Here
13-05-2006, 08:21
Isn't that the premise of the Rapture?
Boonytopia
13-05-2006, 08:34
I'm not too worried, I'm not going there anyway.
Brains in Tanks
13-05-2006, 08:36
To me heaven sounds like hell. You're supposed to get 72 virgins so for all eternity you'll be stuck six dozen stupid girls going on about Johnny Dep and N-sync.
I'd much rather have three slutty women and a bottle of bourbon.
Unrestrained Merrymaki
13-05-2006, 08:37
What if Heaven isn't what it's cracked up to be?
Heaven isn't someplace you go, its someplace you ARE. If you are unhappy when you die or are riddled with guilt, you will go through hell to find happiness beyond your physical death because the opportunities for growth just aren't there. On the other hand, if you die without guilt, all your problems resolved, then its a cakewalk. Either way, you can choose reincarnation to get out of it. Reincarnate with karma or without, its your choice. And you need to choose now.
Brains in Tanks
13-05-2006, 08:41
Heaven isn't someplace you go, its someplace you ARE. If you are unhappy when you die or are riddled with guilt, you will go through hell to find happiness beyond your physical death because the opportunities for growth just aren't there. On the other hand, if you die without guilt, all your problems resolved, then its a cakewalk. Either way, you can choose reincarnation to get out of it. Reincarnate with karma or without, its your choice. And you need to choose now.
Great, Hitler died with a clear conscience thinking future generations would thank him, while many of his victims died wracked with guilt wondering what they could have done different to save their families. It hardly seems fair.
Heaven isn't someplace you go, its someplace you ARE. If you are unhappy when you die or are riddled with guilt, you will go through hell to find happiness beyond your physical death because the opportunities for growth just aren't there. On the other hand, if you die without guilt, all your problems resolved, then its a cakewalk. Either way, you can choose reincarnation to get out of it. Reincarnate with karma or without, its your choice. And you need to choose now.
Been there often, have you?
Xislakilinia
13-05-2006, 08:42
Heaven isn't someplace you go, its someplace you ARE. If you are unhappy when you die or are riddled with guilt, you will go through hell to find happiness beyond your physical death because the opportunities for growth just aren't there. On the other hand, if you die without guilt, all your problems resolved, then its a cakewalk. Either way, you can choose reincarnation to get out of it. Reincarnate with karma or without, its your choice. And you need to choose now.
That doesn't sound very Christian. I don't have many issues with Buddhism except for the fact that I reincarnated from Furry Fuzzball Aliens. Don't be a planet-elitist on me.
To me heaven sounds like hell. You're supposed to get 72 virgins so for all eternity you'll be stuck six dozen stupid girls going on about Johnny Dep and N-sync.
And if they're virgins for all eternity, that tells you something about Heaven's ground rules, no?
I'd much rather have three slutty women and a bottle of bourbon.
Yeah. An unlimited bottle of bourbon. :p
Xislakilinia
13-05-2006, 08:45
And if they're virgins for all eternity, that tells you something about Heaven's ground rules, no?
Yeah. An unlimited bottle of bourbon. :p
No fucks in Heaven? :eek:
Not even bright-anime-eyed hotties? With meaty behinds?
No fucks in Heaven? :eek:
Not even bright-anime-eyed hotties? With meaty behinds?
No. Only tentacle monsters.
Brains in Tanks
13-05-2006, 08:50
Not even bright-anime-eyed hotties? With meaty behinds?
On one hand I'm tempted to ask you for a picture of what you think the perfect woman looks like, but on the other hand I don't really have time to curl up into a ball and go catatonic this month.
Xislakilinia
13-05-2006, 08:52
No. Only tentacle monsters.
Dammit tentacle monsters and other tentacle monsters make horrid bedfellows.
Dobbsworld
13-05-2006, 08:57
Let's declare war on Heaven, depose God and set up an extra-dimensional brothel in its' place. Work for anyone else?
On one hand I'm tempted to ask you for a picture of what you think the perfect woman looks like, but on the other hand I don't really have time to curl up into a ball and go catatonic this month.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/4c/Otakustereo.jpg/175px-Otakustereo.jpg
Oh, and by the way, don't search for "fat anime girl" on google.
Brains in Tanks
13-05-2006, 09:01
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...takustereo.jpg
Oh, and by the way, don't search for "fat anime girl" on google.
My eyes! These goggles do nothing!
Xislakilinia
13-05-2006, 09:04
On one hand I'm tempted to ask you for a picture of what you think the perfect woman looks like, but on the other hand I don't really have time to curl up into a ball and go catatonic this month.
Too late.
http://1.dtiblog.com/s/shinsukun/file/f147123d.jpg
So there.
Xislakilinia
13-05-2006, 09:12
Let's declare war on Heaven, depose God and set up an extra-dimensional brothel in its' place. Work for anyone else?
No go. Make love not war. We must win their hearts and minds by our continued hard work toward Porn and Chocolate proliferation.
I announce the publication of "Up To Boy Magazine - Xislakilinian edition".
Inside we would spare no effort not to show the absence of nudity.
Capitalocracy
13-05-2006, 09:23
What would ruin your vision of Paradise?
Who's to say there's a Paradise at all?
If the irrational concept of a god judging his creation and then selecting the Chosen Few to live with him in eternal happiness was even plausible, it would still amount to an eternity of boredom. As human beings, we thrive off discontent and grow fat off happiness...
How can Heaven even be put in accordance to our own natures?
Capitalocracy
13-05-2006, 09:26
Dammit tentacle monsters and other tentacle monsters make horrid bedfellows.
Oh, come on. Who doesn't enjoy a good tentacling every now and then? xD
Xislakilinia
13-05-2006, 09:37
Who's to say there's a Paradise at all?
If the irrational concept of a god judging his creation and then selecting the Chosen Few to live with him in eternal happiness was even plausible, it would still amount to an eternity of boredom. As human beings, we thrive off discontent and grow fat off happiness...
How can Heaven even be put in accordance to our own natures?
I guess my point is: nice to throw that "infinity" word around, but do the religious have any idea how long "All Eternity" is. And if they all get into Heaven if they can even stand each other for a day, let alone 1 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 years.
Cthulhudistopia
13-05-2006, 09:40
There is no way I'm ever going to get into Heaven. Not with all my sins.
So I guess I don't have to worry about it.:p
Saladsylvania
13-05-2006, 10:25
I think that even if I didn't believe in heaven, I'd be able to grasp that it consists of more than just hanging out for eternity. Obviously, experience in heaven would be virtually impossible to talk about in earthly terms.
Commie Catholics
13-05-2006, 10:27
Probably would suck. The idea of spending the remainder of eternity with my creator is.....unappealing. God and I don't get along very well.
Steel Butterfly
13-05-2006, 10:28
What if Heaven isn't what it's cracked up to be?
I really think that it wouldn't be Heaven then, but instead some other form of afterlife. I think by definition Heaven is paradise. If whatever afterlife you arrive in is not paradise, then it obviously isn't Heaven.
Restriction of self, while simultaneously being necessary in the Christian and Muslim heaven, would ruin it for me.
Soviet Haaregrad
13-05-2006, 10:40
72 virgins, all of them sixty year old nuns.