NationStates Jolt Archive

Suppose alien races showed up in the neighbourhood. Without a firm but fair immigration policy in place, soon they would be taking our jobs, claiming state benefits, shutting down the country to protest their entitlement to state benefits, taking our women, and corrupting our children's minds by flaunting their trisexual ways. Race mixing? No thanks!

They could be criminals too. We have parked so much expensive stuff in orbit, their kids would have the International Space Station's centrifuge module off faster than a Formula One pit crew.

Don't forget the economy. Importing all their fancy matter conversion technology, how the hell is anyone supposed to earn a wage when their job is replaced by a replicator? Just imagine billions of honest hardworking families having their livelihoods ruined.

And all that before they start converting us to worship the Queppu. :mad:

What kind of future is that for our children?

Not on my planet! :upyours:

I don't think it's too early to start an interstellar immigration debate. Hold a public consultation exercise or two. Work out a mechanism for background checks and so on. After all, a prepared society is a safe society.

I sense there is some kind of deeper, hidden meaning to this post. But I can't quite put my finger on it.

And everyone knows aliens worship Xenu.

Humorous. Kind of.

*runs in*

*steps in a pile of parody* Eww!!! It's everywhere!

*tiptoes out*

Need laws against aliens having sex with our Husbands!

taking our jobs,

DEY TEK MA JURB!!!:mad:

I remember I watched an entire two hours on Discovery or History Channel or something about what would happen if we made contact with aliens. After all that, most of which was positive, they asked Steven Hawking what he thought. In his robot voice, "It would be a disaster."

I guess you really had to hear him...

http://www.shtick.org/Robert/hawking.wav

DEY TEK MA JURB!!!:mad:

Dey tek yur jurb!!!

Damn goobacks!!

Suppose alien races showed up in the neighbourhood. Without a firm but fair immigration policy in place, soon they would be taking our jobs, claiming state benefits, shutting down the country to protest their entitlement to state benefits, taking our women, and corrupting our children's minds by flaunting their trisexual ways. Race mixing? No thanks!

They wouldn't take our jobs, since advanced alien spacefarers would doubtless have skills and standards and education far beyond those required/enabled by any job you or I could get. Most likely, they would come here to employ us.

They wouldn't need our state benefits either. Remember, they could probably vaporize the state using their technological superiority. And they know Earth medicine (for example) isn't equipped or educated to take care of them at all, so they don't need it.

They might shut down the country, but using giant space battleships. Much more typical of the average spacefaring alien species, if you look at history.

And race mixing would be genetically impossible.

So your concerns are invalid!


Don't forget the economy. Importing all their fancy matter conversion technology, how the hell is anyone supposed to earn a wage when their job is replaced by a replicator?

Who needs a wage when you have a replicator? Replicate food, water, materials for building. Bingo! No more economy. Post-scarcity paradigm a la the Culture.

Just imagine billions of honest hardworking families having their livelihoods ruined.

They'd be crying all the way through their 100 years of luxurious retirement.

And all that before they start converting us to worship the Queppu.

That's what we really have to watch out for.

Wait a minute...this sounds gayer than a bunch of guys in a pile having sex...

All right guys! Back in the pile!

Wait a minute...this sounds gayer than a bunch of guys in a pile having sex...

All right guys! Back in the pile!
Is there an Alien in it?

Is there an Alien in it?

Muh?

voila je viens de france qui peut s'allier avec moi?
Merci

veiled I come from France which can be combined with me? Thank you

Go back where you belong you damn goobacks!! :upyours:

Muh?
In the gay pile?

In the gay pile?

Not to my knowledge...

Not to my knowledge...
It is a rather big pike though. There could be one way down the bottom somehwhere.

Go back where you belong you damn goobacks!! :upyours:
...

Colorado is a lot better than Pennsylvania.

TG: Well done on the parody. I approve.

I don't think it's too early to start an interstellar immigration debate. Hold a public consultation exercise or two. Work out a mechanism for background checks and so on. After all, a prepared society is a safe society.

Stop discriminating against me. You speciesist.

...

Colorado is a lot better than Pennsylvania.

TG: Well done on the parody. I approve.

Colorado better than Pennsylvania?! I laugh at such a statement.

I think the human race should become the Universal Race. We are obvisouly superior to all Aliens and we should act as such. This is a proven fact. So, we should become and interstellar empire and conquer the Universe. We will have to put me in charge fist though, becuase I can handle the situation best, and..I'll have to be in a position of unquestionable authority. :)

Suppose alien races showed up in the neighbourhood. Without a firm but fair immigration policy in place, soon they would be taking our jobs, claiming state benefits, shutting down the country to protest their entitlement to state benefits, taking our women, and corrupting our children's minds by flaunting their trisexual ways. Race mixing? No thanks!

They could be criminals too. We have parked so much expensive stuff in orbit, their kids would have the International Space Station's centrifuge module off faster than a Formula One pit crew.

Don't forget the economy. Importing all their fancy matter conversion technology, how the hell is anyone supposed to earn a wage when their job is replaced by a replicator? Just imagine billions of honest hardworking families having their livelihoods ruined.

And all that before they start converting us to worship the Queppu. :mad:

What kind of future is that for our children?

Not on my planet! :upyours:

I don't think it's too early to start an interstellar immigration debate. Hold a public consultation exercise or two. Work out a mechanism for background checks and so on. After all, a prepared society is a safe society.

Humanity isnt a race. It's a "species." And different species cant "race" (!) mix. And I dont think many aliens would immigrate to Earth, because the environment would probably be inhosbitable for them. I guess you watch too many Star Wars/Trek...

Suppose alien races showed up in the neighbourhood. Without a firm but fair immigration policy in place, soon they would be taking our jobs, claiming state benefits, shutting down the country to protest their entitlement to state benefits, taking our women, and corrupting our children's minds by flaunting their trisexual ways. Race mixing? No thanks!

They could be criminals too. We have parked so much expensive stuff in orbit, their kids would have the International Space Station's centrifuge module off faster than a Formula One pit crew.

Don't forget the economy. Importing all their fancy matter conversion technology, how the hell is anyone supposed to earn a wage when their job is replaced by a replicator? Just imagine billions of honest hardworking families having their livelihoods ruined.

And all that before they start converting us to worship the Queppu. :mad:

What kind of future is that for our children?

Not on my planet! :upyours:

I don't think it's too early to start an interstellar immigration debate. Hold a public consultation exercise or two. Work out a mechanism for background checks and so on. After all, a prepared society is a safe society.

As with all aliens: make their presence in our neck of the woods conditional on their total and unquestioning subservience.

Freedom is irrelevant. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

Freedom is irrelevant. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

We would rather die...

We would rather die...
Don't worry, it is going to be a peaceful assimilation.
Well, after the genocide, of course.

Don't worry, it is going to be a peaceful assimilation.
Well, after the genocide, of course.

No no no. You see...you have failed at quoting "The Best of Both Worlds" from Star Trek: TNG.

To this:

We would rather die...

You are supposed to respond:

Death is irrelevant...

No no no. You see...you have failed at quoting "The Best of Both Worlds" from Star Trek: TNG.

To this:



You are supposed to respond:
Failure is irrelevant. Your biological and technological distinctivness will be added to my sig.

No no no. You see...you have failed at quoting "The Best of Both Worlds" from Star Trek: TNG.
See? You got me. I can't quote Star Trek - I'm no fan and I've hardly watched it. ;)

Besides, MST3K is so much more fun! :p

See? You got me. I can't quote Star Trek - I'm no fan and I've hardly watched it. ;)

Besides, MST3K is so much more fun! :p

HEATHEN!

*Flames*

HEATHEN!

*Flames*
Space, the final frontier, these are the voyages of Babylon 5.

Captain's log: a bunch of our ship fell off, and, nobody likes me.
:p

No no no. You see...you have failed at quoting "The Best of Both Worlds" from Star Trek: TNG.

To this:



You are supposed to respond:

I'll see your TNG quote and match it with:

There are four lights!

There are four lights!

Pah!

You speak the lies of a TAR'KEHG!

Pah!

You speak the lies of a TAR'KEHG!

Ferengi Dog! I will send your rotten soul to Stovokor for this!

Ferengi Dog! I will send your rotten soul to Stovokor for this!

Who are you callin' a Ferengi, ROMULAN!

*Pulls distruptor*

Who are you callin' a Ferengi, ROMULAN!

*Pulls distruptor*

REMAN!


*Pulls out Targ*

Star Trek sucks.
*flees*

The thing I'm worried about most is the Trekkies forming a religion out of their obsession...

Like in Futurama...

Then they'll wage a Trekkie Jihad against all other sci fi content, with their frontline consisting of fat men dressed up as Klingons wielding something to the effect of an over-complicated polearm...

And then their women will dress up as Andorians and Vulcans to try and seduce us into converting...

Wait...why do I know the names of the races...

OH, GOD! I'VE BEEN TAINTED!!! *gouges his eyes out and drinks bleach*

I think the human race should become the Universal Race. We are obvisouly superior to all Aliens and we should act as such. This is a proven fact. So, we should become and interstellar empire and conquer the Universe. We will have to put me in charge fist though, becuase I can handle the situation best, and..I'll have to be in a position of unquestionable authority. :)

My only request is that, since we're going this far, only white Americans and Caucasian Western Europeans can't be involved. WE MUST INHILATE THE INFERIOR SPECIES AND RACES!!!!! LONG LIVE THE KKK!

....Wow. That was racist. I didn't know I was capable of such things.....

I blame too much time in the deep South....

NO OFFENSE! It's just a really bad joke....


DESTROY THE KKK!!!!! ALL MEN (and women) (and interstellar species) ARE CREATED EQUAL!!!!

Star Trek sucks.
*flees*

You're lucky all Star Trek fans are asthmatic, or we'd kick your scrawny arse!

The thing I'm worried about most is the Trekkies forming a religion out of their obsession...

Like in Futurama...

Then they'll wage a Trekkie Jihad against all other sci fi content, with their frontline consisting of fat men dressed up as Klingons wielding something to the effect of an over-complicated polearm...

And then their women will dress up as Andorians and Vulcans to try and seduce us into converting...

Wait...why do I know the names of the races...

OH, GOD! I'VE BEEN TAINTED!!! *gouges his eyes out and drinks bleach*

It is the only way things can go...

It is the only way things can go...

SCREW YOU! Down with Star Trek! All hail the Forerunner! *worships the Halos and the Ark*

SCREW YOU! Down with Star Trek! All hail the Forerunner! *worships the Halos and the Ark*

Halo is good. But it doesn't have the wide fan base Star Trek does.

Halo is good. But it doesn't have the wide fan base Star Trek does.

*coughs* Star Trek may have a larger fan base, but Halo became more popular in a day than Star Trek did in a month.

I couldn't begin to tell you how many nUbs (yes, they have been degraded further) obsess over that game.

I'm more inclined to believe that anything other than the Borg, Species 8472, and the Vorsoth could be beaten by the UNSC and the Covenant. However, bring the Flood into play and both universes are on an even playing field.

I don't think that any of the aforementioned Star Trek races could defeat the Flood. Hell, I think that Species 8472 and the Borg would end up making a treaty long enough to destroy the Flood.

And then we come to the all-popular Star Wars...I think a vibro-blade could take down more Borg than you could shake a wet noodle at.

Then again, what isn't better than a LIGHTSABER? *draws a pair*

*coughs* Star Trek may have a larger fan base, but Halo became more popular in a day than Star Trek did in a month.

I couldn't begin to tell you how many nUbs (yes, they have been degraded further) obsess over that game.

I'm more inclined to believe that anything other than the Borg, Species 8472, and the Vorsoth could be beaten by the UNSC and the Covenant. However, bring the Flood into play and both universes are on an even playing field.

I don't think that any of the aforementioned Star Trek races could defeat the Flood. Hell, I think that Species 8472 and the Borg would end up making a treaty long enough to destroy the Flood.

And then we come to the all-popular Star Wars...I think a vibro-blade could take down more Borg than you could shake a wet noodle at.

Then again, what isn't better than a LIGHTSABER? *draws a pair*
You need to spend more time masturbating and less time doing anything else.

You need to spend more time masturbating and less time doing anything else.

I think my problem is that I DO masturbate, and too much at that.

Of course, I get laid every weekend by my fiancee, so it all evens out.:D :fluffle:

REMAN!


*Pulls out Targ*

So your blood is Klingon after all...

*opens a vat of Blood Wine*

So your blood is Klingon after all...

*opens a vat of Blood Wine*

Blood Wine is good, but no true warrior feasts without hot Gagh!

Blood Wine is good, but no true warrior feasts without hot Gagh!

Aha!

*headbutts*

Suppose alien races showed up in the neighbourhood. Without a firm but fair immigration policy in place, soon they would be taking our jobs, claiming state benefits, shutting down the country to protest their entitlement to state benefits, taking our women, and corrupting our children's minds by flaunting their trisexual ways. Race mixing? No thanks!

They could be criminals too. We have parked so much expensive stuff in orbit, their kids would have the International Space Station's centrifuge module off faster than a Formula One pit crew.

Don't forget the economy. Importing all their fancy matter conversion technology, how the hell is anyone supposed to earn a wage when their job is replaced by a replicator? Just imagine billions of honest hardworking families having their livelihoods ruined.

And all that before they start converting us to worship the Queppu. :mad:

What kind of future is that for our children?

Not on my planet! :upyours:

I don't think it's too early to start an interstellar immigration debate. Hold a public consultation exercise or two. Work out a mechanism for background checks and so on. After all, a prepared society is a safe society.

God I love this post! You go!

Lemme see if I can address some of this in the same spirit:

Assuming that the aliens won't drop in, find us to be a tasty snack, and load us aboard their crafts like so many cattle...

I think the best way to address the invasion of an alien race is to breed them into obscurity. By wowing them with our sexy ways, and showing them that we can be just as tri-sexual as the next alien race, we can entice them into staying, not returning home, but hanging out long enough for us to dilute their gene pool to the point where their original race dies out. That way, we get to keep the benefit of their genetic gifts and use them to become space travelers ourselves. Using this method, in time, we could become the master race of the Universe simply by stealing all their genetic material and making it our own. Wasn't that the whole idea behind, "Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free?"

I think my problem is that I DO masturbate, and too much at that.

Of course, I get laid every weekend by my fiancee, so it all evens out.:D :fluffle:

Only every weekend? You have been whipped already, eh?

Suppose alien races showed up in the neighbourhood. Without a firm but fair immigration policy in place, soon they would be taking our jobs, claiming state benefits, shutting down the country to protest their entitlement to state benefits, taking our women, and corrupting our children's minds by flaunting their trisexual ways. Race mixing? No thanks!

They could be criminals too. We have parked so much expensive stuff in orbit, their kids would have the International Space Station's centrifuge module off faster than a Formula One pit crew.

Don't forget the economy. Importing all their fancy matter conversion technology, how the hell is anyone supposed to earn a wage when their job is replaced by a replicator? Just imagine billions of honest hardworking families having their livelihoods ruined.

And all that before they start converting us to worship the Queppu. :mad:

What kind of future is that for our children?

Not on my planet! :upyours:

I don't think it's too early to start an interstellar immigration debate. Hold a public consultation exercise or two. Work out a mechanism for background checks and so on. After all, a prepared society is a safe society.

Good grief. We don't even know if there are aliens yet, but we already have xenophobes.

Nice to see humanity maintaining it's dignified dash towards the finish line in the hate race.

...holy shit. I'm a really huge Trekkie..but all the craziness in this thread makes me ill...