Proof that pirates are cooler than ninjas
Drunk commies deleted
10-05-2006, 15:38
A Christian Ninja took it upon himself to burn down an "adult business" as a personal favor for god.
Fire investigators say a Powell man admitted dressing up like a ninja to burn down an adult business, all in the name of God
http://www.wbir.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=34089
Why do Christians want to spoil people's fun? Why do they want to destroy people's businesses? Fans of Porn don't go into churches and staple hardcore images to the crucifix, they mind their own business. Why can't Christians show the same level of politeness and decency?
Also, Pirates would never burn down a porn shop.
Philosopy
10-05-2006, 15:40
You know, DCD, I honestly think you might be the world's first fundamentalist porn preacher. :p
Don't know DCD. All I know that that's the reason why the Pilgrims and Puritans got kicked out of England: They were the ones responsible for burning down Globe Theater.
Bvimb VI
10-05-2006, 15:44
Also, Pirates would never burn down a porn shop.
Pirates burn down ninjas. Slowly...
Saladsylvania
10-05-2006, 15:44
Sorry for wanting to spoil people's fun and destroy people's businesses.
Drunk commies deleted
10-05-2006, 15:45
Sorry for wanting to spoil people's fun and destroy people's businesses.
That's ok, just don't do it again.
Kalmykhia
10-05-2006, 15:48
Everyone knows Ninjas aren't Christian! I mean, that whole killing thing is supposedly against the Bible. And black is an evil colour. Not to mention those shuriken. How many points do they have?
That's right - five! The devil's number. It's a pentagram.
This guy wasn't a ninja, he was a christian in ninja's clothing. (I like my metaphors mixed, on the rocks.)
Also, Pirates would never burn down a porn shop.
If pirates were raiding a port town and they set the place ablaze, and this town happened to contain a porn shop, what would they do?
Drunk commies deleted
10-05-2006, 15:49
If pirates were raiding a port town and they set the place ablaze, and this town happened to contain a porn shop, what would they do?
Rescue the porn. It gets lonely out at sea.
UpwardThrust
10-05-2006, 15:50
If pirates were raiding a port town and they set the place ablaze, and this town happened to contain a porn shop, what would they do?
Rescue the porn
Saladsylvania
10-05-2006, 15:50
Like pirates would need porn...
Independent Browncoats
10-05-2006, 15:57
We didn't really need proof that Pirates are > ninjas. It's been that way since the dawn of time. But as a self-described Christian Pirate (can there be such a thing? Well, there is now....), I would never burn down such a store....lol [face_silly]
Kalmykhia
10-05-2006, 15:57
Like pirates would need porn...
Well, it's not like there are many women pirates. And it's hard to rape and pillage when all there is around you are flocks of seagulls and dolphins.
Rum, sodomy, and the lash... THAT'S why they need porn.
Saladsylvania
10-05-2006, 15:58
We didn't really need proof that Pirates are > ninjas. It's been that way since the dawn of time. But as a self-described Christian Pirate (can there be such a thing? Well, there is now....), I would never burn down such a store....lol [face_silly]
I think I read about a Christian pirate one time. But I forget what his name was, or if that even actually happened.
Iamalwaysright
10-05-2006, 15:58
LOL... extremists make me laugh... and that includes extremists in ANY belief. I happen to belief that ANY extreme views are likely to be wrong. And I do believe in the Christian God, by the way - i just reject the idea of using that to judge others.
And pirates are so far beyond ninjas in the coolness stakes, it's untrue... you know the 'horizon' line you see in the distance? Ninjas are THREE TIMES that far behind pirates. Prove me wrong.
Bvimb VI
10-05-2006, 16:00
No ninja supporters around? Bet they are too embarrased.
Svalbardania
11-05-2006, 07:48
No, they just dont exist
GreaterPacificNations
11-05-2006, 07:51
If only ninjas and pirates could unite...
If only ninjas and pirates could unite...
http://moblog.co.uk/blogs/393/moblog_c2453c78eca5a.jpg
Brains in Tanks
11-05-2006, 08:46
What's the bet he stole all the porn and set the place on fire to cover it up?
Demented Hamsters
11-05-2006, 08:51
Proof that pirates are cooler than ninjas
No. Proof that pirates are cooler than Christian ninjas.
But let's face it, anyone is cooler than a Christian ninja.
Even these guys:
http://haftbar.de/wp-content/nerds.png
Heck, even this guy is cooler!
http://www.christoph-woerner.de/uploaded_images/hering-admin-761870.jpg
Desperate Measures
11-05-2006, 14:49
Heck, even this guy is cooler!
http://www.christoph-woerner.de/uploaded_images/hering-admin-761870.jpg
Isn't that the only known photograph of the Christian Ninja?
Mooseica
11-05-2006, 15:27
Rum, sodomy, and the lash... THAT'S why they need porn.
So sigged.
Pirates are certainly cooler than ninjas...
but!
Ninjas are more hardcore than pirates. They'd shuriken a pirate ship's sail to pieces from a mile off then ninja across the waves and sword them all to death. Well - they'd ninja over the waves, get on board and then be overpowered by the pirates' cool. Then they'd all get drunk and go leching when they next get in to port.
Xislakilinia
11-05-2006, 15:51
I'm almost sorry to have to say this, but I've see ninja porn before. It's true. Buxomy female ninjas flinging shurikens and knife-on-a-chain things. While getting it on with the warlords.
Stop laughing I'm serious.
Brains in Tanks
11-05-2006, 15:55
I'm almost sorry to have to say this, but I've see ninja porn before. It's true. Buxomy female ninjas flinging shurikens and knife-on-a-chain things. While getting it on with the warlords.
Stop laughing I'm serious.
There are people out there who don't know about Ninja porn?
Xislakilinia
11-05-2006, 16:00
There are people out there who don't know about Ninja porn?
Exactly! That dude in ninja garb is just a stinking imposter. Everyone knows that bizarre porn and cool ninjitsu have been part of Japan since the Shogun era.
Wasn't there some X-box game about a big-boobed ninja girl?
Kalmykhia
11-05-2006, 16:52
I got sigged! Wootage. I am most honoured.
Minoriteeburg
11-05-2006, 16:55
Also, Pirates would never burn down a porn shop.
they would too! they would just pillage all of the porn first.
IL Ruffino
11-05-2006, 16:58
I feel fat today.
Totally unfair, DCD. This story constitutes proof that Christianity is sufficient to nullify the coolness of ninjas, but it does not prove that ninjas are automatically less cool than pirates.
It's kind of like how wearing a black leather jacket automatically makes you a badass, but you can nullify the badassness if you put "I LUV U JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE" in rhinestones across the back of the jacket. Doesn't mean that black leather jackets are to blame for the fact that YOUR jacket sucks ass, it just means that your particular jacket sucks ass.
Minoriteeburg
11-05-2006, 17:31
http://www.jinx.com/images/products/357bgMaroon.jpg