NationStates Jolt Archive

Right, I need some advice. There's this girl who I really like, and i've been flirting with her on msn and the phone for weeks now. She always seems really up for it, she even said i was really funny *shrugs*. She had a boyfriend when i met her, but they split up today. Any sugggestions as to how I should proceed- it doesn't sound like she feels too badly about it and i was thinking i might resume flirting?

Great, now i'm an emo:p

Can I suggest meeting someone without resorting to the internet? Don't mean to sound like a bastard...

Liasia']Right, I need some advice.

BWO's Patented New Improved Automatic Advice Dispensarium sez...

* spins the wheel *

Kill your parents.

Have you met in person before?

Can I suggest meeting someone without resorting to the internet? Don't mean to sound like a bastard...

What's fundamentally wrong with using the internet to meet people?

Can I suggest meeting someone without resorting to the internet? Don't mean to sound like a bastard...

Yeh, i actually know her in r/l as well.

BWO's Patented New Improved Automatic Advice Dispensarium sez...

* spins the wheel *

Kill your parents.

Ahahaha! :D

This is the best advice that you will hear from anyone.
Run! Run away! Far away!
If she seems willing to engage in such pleasures, then by all means, keep flirting. But don't be disappointed when she refuses to get more serious. :rolleyes:

This is the best advice that you will hear from anyone.
Run! Run away! Far away!
If see seems willing to engage in such pleasures, then by all means, keep flirting. But don't be disappointed when she refuses to get more serious.

Crafty. Like a fox.

Liasia']Crafty. Like a fox.

Thank you. :)

This is the best advice that you will hear from anyone.
Run! Run away! Far away!
If she seems willing to engage in such pleasures, then by all means, keep flirting. But don't be disappointed when she refuses to get more serious.

I agree. Not that she's obliged to in the first place anyway, though.

Liasia']Right, I need some advice. There's this girl who I really like, and i've been flirting with her on msn and the phone for weeks now. She always seems really up for it, she even said i was really funny *shrugs*. She had a boyfriend when i met her, but they split up today. Any sugggestions as to how I should proceed- it doesn't sound like she feels too badly about it and i was thinking i might resume flirting?

Great, now i'm an emo:p
see what she wants. ask her how she is - if she's upset, be nice to her and comfort her - whatever she needs or wants. if she's not upset and happy to continue flirting then feel free to do so, but bear in mind a) she's been flirting with you while having a boyfriend, so watch out if you intend to become her boyfriend - might not be the most "loyal" person (that is unless her last bf was a complete asshole in which case perhaps she's not that bad), and b) she might just be avoiding her feelings on the issue and could well actually be happier talking about things and not just burying them under a deluge of flirtation

Can I suggest meeting someone without resorting to the internet? Don't mean to sound like a bastard...
boo!

If she doesn't seem too upset about breaking up with this last boyfriend, don't be too surprised when she doesn't seem too upset about breaking up with you too, later.

On the flip side, getting together to "make her feel better" or "forget about it" is always a good start...

Much obliged people. Its always good to get a different perspective on things:fluffle:

Liasia']Right, I need some advice. There's this girl who I really like, and i've been flirting with her on msn and the phone for weeks now. She always seems really up for it, she even said i was really funny *shrugs*. She had a boyfriend when i met her, but they split up today. Any sugggestions as to how I should proceed- it doesn't sound like she feels too badly about it and i was thinking i might resume flirting?

Great, now i'm an emo:p
One thing - how is saying someone's really funny flirting?
If you're taking things like that as a sign that she's "up for it", I'd be a bit cautious because I wouldn't class that as even remotely flirting.
It could be flirting, but it could be absolutly nothing of the sort.

Other than that... do you know why she broke up with her boyfriend?
That could be helpful in deciding how to react and also how much of a chance you have with her.

None of us know her at all. There's no set answer for what to do. You know her the best, and you have the means to find out what way to proceed (ie talk to her about how she feels and make the judgement) so it's really up to you.

so i guess you're not the reason why she broke it off w/ her b/f?

Hell, if i was her b/f, i'd be pissed if someone else had been flirting w/ my g/f.


how would you feel if your g/f was flirting w/ another guy?

Liasia']Right, I need some advice. There's this girl who I really like, and i've been flirting with her on msn and the phone for weeks now. She always seems really up for it, she even said i was really funny *shrugs*. She had a boyfriend when i met her, but they split up today. Any sugggestions as to how I should proceed- it doesn't sound like she feels too badly about it and i was thinking i might resume flirting?

Great, now i'm an emo:p

Flirt away, but don't expect anything.

Besides, flirting is fun enough. I flirt for Wales. Usually with people i *don't* want to sleep with. Dunno whether there's a message there...

Ask her is she is ok, if you can do anything for her, etc. Then, get her to laugh. Not in a stupid one liner or knock knock way, but in a comfortable relaxed way. Then, when she is sufficiently relaxed and giggling, throw out a smirking "seriously- if I can do ANYTHING". If she just laughs, then you cannot proceed at this time because she is actually hurt more than it appears on the surface. But if she laughs and makes physical contact with you (even something as simple as playfully slapping you) then she is wanting physical comfort. I don't know the girl, you do, so you should know how far that will get you.

Warning: do not use the "seriously..." line too soon. She must be relaxed and at ease. If she is not relaxed, she will think you are being pushy, and you may irreperably damage the relationship.

bear in mind a) she's been flirting with you while having a boyfriend, so watch out if you intend to become her boyfriend - might not be the most "loyal" person (that is unless her last bf was a complete asshole in which case perhaps she's not that bad)
I agree with the rest of your post (your second point was definitly a good one :)), and I can understand the general sentiment of this part however:

-firstly, as said in my last point, i'm a bit doubtful of whether she actually was flirting or whether she just happens to have had male friends who she thinks are "really funny" while having a boyfriend (shockhorror! :eek: :P)

-secondly, however she was acting, her boyfriend could have been fine with that level of flirting/friendliness with other guys, in which case i wouldn't doubt her loyalty.
i mean, you haven't had a problem with me joke flirting with carniverous lickers, because you know it's not remotely serious, you know i'm 100% devoted to you, i let you join in (;)) and it's right in front of your eyes so you know i have nothing to hide. if you had any problem, i'd stop, but because you don't i don't see it as "unloyalty".
so a similar situation (ie, her knowing her boyfriend is totally okay with harmless flirting) could apply here.

I'm not really disagreeing with you, and I can understand that initial reaction (which could well be correct), and I also note that you weren't saying anything definitive - just some thoughts that popped into my head which I'm mainly voicing for the sake of the guy asking for opinions *nods*

how're you doing? *hugs*

If she doesn't seem too upset about breaking up with this last boyfriend, don't be too surprised when she doesn't seem too upset about breaking up with you too, later.
How does that follow any logic?

She obviously ended it with her recent ex-boyfriend for a reason. Maybe he was a jerk, and she's happy to be rid of him. Only way you could assume she'd react the same way to breaking up with another boyfriend was if the breakup was for the same reason.

There's also the fact that people change. Just because she wasn't very serious about one relationship, doesn't mean she won't get serious/want to get serious about another.

Hump her leg.

Hump her leg.

I agree. It is the most tactful way to proceed.

I agree. It is the most tactful way to proceed.

Of course. I'm all about tact. :D

Of course. I'm all about tact. :D

I always find turning up drunk on her lawn at three am bellowing "BUT (insert name here), I REALLY LOVE YOU" works as well...

I always find turning up drunk on her lawn at three am bellowing "BUT (insert name here), I REALLY LOVE YOU" works as well...

And having your pants down around your ankles is the crowning touch.

Liasia']Right, I need some advice. There's this girl who I really like, and i've been flirting with her on msn and the phone for weeks now. She always seems really up for it, she even said i was really funny *shrugs*. She had a boyfriend when i met her, but they split up today. Any sugggestions as to how I should proceed- it doesn't sound like she feels too badly about it and i was thinking i might resume flirting?

Great, now i'm an emo:p


Be warned, you're in grave danger of ending up in the "Friend" zone. Friends don't get laid. Friends are there so that when someone breaks her heart she can cry on your shoulder and whine that she can't find a nice guy who listens.

And having your pants down around your ankles is the crowning touch.

With a rolled up newspaper crammed up your backside.

Liasia']Right, I need some advice. There's this girl who I really like, and i've been flirting with her on msn and the phone for weeks now. She always seems really up for it, she even said i was really funny *shrugs*. She had a boyfriend when i met her, but they split up today. Any sugggestions as to how I should proceed- it doesn't sound like she feels too badly about it and i was thinking i might resume flirting?
Well, sure, resume flirting. It's fun. But don't assume that if you flirt with her and she flirts back, it means something is going to happen between the two of you. Flirtation is not necessarily an indication of romantic interest. I'm not saying that nothing will happen between you - just that you shouldn't expect it.

I'm tired. Did that make any sense?

With a rolled up newspaper crammed up your backside.

and a rose between your teeth, for that classy element.

I always find turning up drunk on her lawn at three am bellowing "BUT (insert name here), I REALLY LOVE YOU" works as well...
LOL. When I was in high school I had a friend that was fond of calling me at 2 or 3am, quite drunk, singing unintelligible songs and declaring his love for me. Bear in mind, I'm female and he is gay. It always made for interesting conversation the next day.

and a rose between your teeth, for that classy element.

Perfect! :D

LOL. When I was in high school I had a friend that was fond of calling me at 2 or 3am, quite drunk, singing unintelligible songs and declaring his love for me. Bear in mind, I'm female and he is gay. It always made for interesting conversation the next day.

Didn't you know? Alcohol makes gay people straight. It's da troof. :p

Perfect! :D

It's why i am a hit with the ladeeeeeeeeeeeez :)

It's why i am a hit with the ladeeeeeeeeeeeez :)

We need proof. We require a pic of you on someone's front lawn with your pants down around your ankles, a rolled up newspaper stuffed up your arse, and a rose in your teeth. :D

Didn't you know? Alcohol makes gay people straight. It's da troof. :p

It also makes straight guys "Curious". :fluffle:

Difference between straight and bi-curious is about six beers.

We need proof. We require a pic of you on someone's front lawn with your pants down around your ankles, a rolled up newspaper stuffed up your arse, and a rose in your teeth. :D

The only copies of that picture were destroyed by order of the court, when Ms Jolie asked for the restraining order...

;)

Ugh, don't do what ever she wants! Thats one of the easiest ways to be seen as a provider, not a lover! Ask her if she wants to go get a cup o coffee/tea after work/school/whatever along with some stimulating conversation. Make it sound a bit interesting and mysterious. Be confident! Bust on her a little bit, show that you are, in fact, a man, and do it in a cocky yet funny way (don't be afraid to be a little edgy, it works!). And above all, BE CONFIDENT!

The only copies of that picture were destroyed by order of the court, when Ms Jolie asked for the restraining order...

;)

Same here, although it was Zhang Ziyi requesting the restraining order. :(

Same here, although it was Zhang Ziyi requesting the restraining order. :(

As a friend once said - "i've had sex with Jennifer Aniston. Well, i've masturbated furiously whilst THINKING about having sex with Jennifer Aniston. But as my mother always says, it's the thought that matters!"

As a friend once said - "i've had sex with Jennifer Aniston. Well, i've masturbated furiously whilst THINKING about having sex with Jennifer Aniston. But as my mother always says, it's the thought that matters!"

Amusing and at the same time really disturbing.

As a friend once said - "i've had sex with Jennifer Aniston. Well, i've masturbated furiously whilst THINKING about having sex with Jennifer Aniston. But as my mother always says, it's the thought that matters!"

That's bloody brilliant! :D

EDIT: It also makes me one of the most prolific man-whores ever. :p

I agree with the rest of your post (your second point was definitly a good one :)), and I can understand the general sentiment of this part however:

-firstly, as said in my last point, i'm a bit doubtful of whether she actually was flirting or whether she just happens to have had male friends who she thinks are "really funny" while having a boyfriend (shockhorror! :eek: :P)

-secondly, however she was acting, her boyfriend could have been fine with that level of flirting/friendliness with other guys, in which case i wouldn't doubt her loyalty.
both true, though i was assuming that it was indeed 'flirting' as might happen between a girl and a guy who are interested in each other... if its not that kind of thing (or indeed flirting at all) then so be it.

-secondly, however she was acting, her boyfriend could have been fine with that level of flirting/friendliness with other guys, in which case i wouldn't doubt her loyalty.
i mean, you haven't had a problem with me joke flirting with carniverous lickers, because you know it's not remotely serious, you know i'm 100% devoted to you, i let you join in () and it's right in front of your eyes so you know i have nothing to hide. if you had any problem, i'd stop, but because you don't i don't see it as "unloyalty".
so a similar situation (ie, her knowing her boyfriend is totally okay with harmless flirting) could apply here.
hehe well i am the jealous type, so you better watch out ;) (no i have no problem with it if i know its going on or whatever... on the net is one thing as well, while IRL would be quite another...)