NationStates Jolt Archive

Check it out. I rather suspect women will like this ...

http://www.angelfire.com/id2/Hawaii/MaleCh.html


Personally, no way would I ever, ever do this!


Have you ever done this? Do you know anyone who has?

Come on, share your experiences, don't be shy!

Check it out. I rather suspect women will like this ...

http://www.angelfire.com/id2/Hawaii/MaleCh.html


Personally, no way would I ever, ever do this!


Have you ever done this? Do you know anyone who has?

Come on, share your experiences, don't be shy!
Dude! WTF, over? That's just one step away from castration! :eek:

Dude! WTF, over? That's just one step away from castration! :eek:


I agree. It's wrong. But funny!

Sounds more like an aspect of B&D... in that way, sounds possibly fun... but as a method of control... Its like the scold bridle, but the other way round! Haven't we come so far...

Hey, if women had to wear chastity belts, why not men. Revenge is sweet indeed. :D

This is going to go on my list of 'things that justify an instant break-up'. :eek:

From the illustrations it seems rosy enough (well at least from her perspective). I imagine things become less so the first time you try to go through the metal detectors at an airport. I doubt many marriages would survive that.

Hey, if women had to wear chastity belts, why not men. Revenge is sweet indeed. :D


Oh come now. If we viewed such practices (forced practices) as socially barbaric, then it's barbaric no matter who it is forced on.

Now if this is done in a mutual consenting relationship as part of a sexual game...then sure, whatever they want, provided that when one part wants it over (and TRULY wants it over) it ends immediatly. Kinkyness between consenting adults is...well...between consenting adults. Not my tastes, but whatever.

If the aspect of it goes beyond consent, into some form of identity and personality control, a "forced" regime, then the consent runs out of it, and it becomes fundamentally wrong.

What I wonder about those that wrote this, is if they ever considered what happens the moment their "controlled" man says "ok, that's enough, over now".

*snip*
...

You do realize I was joking, right? I don't think anyone should be put through that if they didn't want to be.

It’s not that you don’t trust him,
Yeah, right...

but you’d feel very special being the one and only one that has control of his sex.
But you don't currently feel like you have control, because you don't trust him.

Edit: And yes, I realise that the site is a joke.

Hey, if women had to wear chastity belts, why not men. Revenge is sweet indeed. :D

I guess you're going to vote for " NO - I'm a woman and I'd like to try it on my man!"


But hey, you can't force the man to wear it. That said, once you have it on him, you have your little sex-slave!

If you asked me to wear it, Ladamesansmerci, I'd say 'OK' but you'd have to wear the female version at the same time. I would be your keyholder and you would be mine.

Then, when we are putting them on, I'd make sure yours got locked first. I'd stand up and shout 'sucker'. Then I'd take mine off :D Then you'd be my little sex-slave :D

...

You do realize I was joking, right? I don't think anyone should be put through that if they didn't want to be.

Heh fair enough. Although even if your text was a joke, I'm sure someone out there believes it for real =P

That is so unbelievably sexist that it has to be a joke.

Hell, why not go a step further, give him a leash and feed him dog food?

I guess you're going to vote for " NO - I'm a woman and I'd like to try it on my man!"


But hey, you can't force the man to wear it. That said, once you have it on him, you have your little sex-slave!

If you asked me to wear it, Ladamesansmerci, I'd say 'OK' but you'd have to wear the female version at the same time. I would be your keyholder and you would be mine.

Then, when we are putting them on, I'd make sure yours got locked first. I'd stand up and shout 'sucker'. Then I'd take mine off :D Then you'd be my little sex-slave :D
:p

See, the flaw with your argument is that I would *NEVER* force anyone to wear a chastity belt. And I would never put one on myself. Apparently the female ones are extremely annoying and you can barely pee with them on. But then again, if I DID trick a guy into wearing one, who's to say I wouldn't throw the key away? :eek:

ps. I didn't vote in the poll, nor am I going to.

If the aspect of it goes beyond consent, into some form of identity and personality control, a "forced" regime, then the consent runs out of it, and it becomes fundamentally wrong.

What I wonder about those that wrote this, is if they ever considered what happens the moment their "controlled" man says "ok, that's enough, over now".


This is the bit that freaks me out! It sounds kinky, intriguing even. But handing over and controlling the whole sexual drive in that way, it's got to change the personality. Just look at what the psychologists Skinner and Pavlov were able to achieve with rats and dogs using levers and bells!

Just imagine what complete control of the male sex drive in female hands does to the male psyche?! If the man's got any sense at all he'll flatly refuse to entertain the idea.

That is so unbelievably sexist that it has to be a joke.

It says at the bottom of the page: 'About the Author: Tanya is a licensed, practicing sex therapist in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. The opinions expressed in this guide are solely her own and not meant to be taken as professional advice.'

So I suspect it's real. :(

It says at the bottom of the page: 'About the Author: Tanya is a licensed, practicing sex therapist in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. The opinions expressed in this guide are solely her own and not meant to be taken as professional advice.'

So I suspect it's real. :(

Doesn't anyone else read that as "this page is written by a profession and shouldn't be considered as such"?

:p
But then again, if I DID trick a guy into wearing one, who's to say I wouldn't throw the key away? :eek:

ps. I didn't vote in the poll, nor am I going to.


Exactly! What if you're all locked up and you significant other gets run over by a bus? How do you get the damn thing off then? Use a chainsaw ??!! **shudders**

Go on! Vote in the poll! Don't be shy :D

For this kind of thing to work, the man would have to agree to it. Otherwise he could just steal the keys through force or stealth.

Doesn't anyone else read that as "this page is written by a profession and shouldn't be considered as such"?

That means that she recommends it in general terms but the disclaimer means that if a couple try it and it goes wrong she's absolved of any responsibility.

For this kind of thing to work, the man would have to agree to it. Otherwise he could just steal the keys through force or stealth.

Force or stealth? A tiny padlock can be taken off with a 20 dollar bolt cutter.

That is so unbelievably sexist that it has to be a joke.

Hell, why not go a step further, give him a leash and feed him dog food?


I am sure that this happens in many, many homes

Force or stealth? A tiny padlock can be taken off with a 20 dollar bolt cutter.
I said he could do that. I never said he would have to. I was just presenting one possible means of escape.

What is the world coming to?

Hey, if women had to wear chastity belts, why not men. Revenge is sweet indeed. :D

If you were getting revenge on someone who had done this to you,then sure go for it. If you are merely getting revenge for long dead women because long dead men did this to them by locking an innocent dolt in a chastity device, well that is just silly isnt it? I mean isnt revenge supposed to be perpetrated on the people who are guilty of misconduct? If, say, your great grandma was prevented from voting is it proper vengeance to prevent a random person today from voting?

It says at the bottom of the page: 'About the Author: Tanya is a licensed, practicing sex therapist in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. The opinions expressed in this guide are solely her own and not meant to be taken as professional advice.'

So I suspect it's real. :(

Doesn't mean it is. I mean, i can write on a webpage that I have a doctorate in neuroscience, or something.

But if so, she's mistaken in that all guys think with their penises, all guys sit on the couch and watch TV, etc...

And I love this...

Last but not least, have fun with it! Don’t be afraid to put on the goddess routine. Make him ask politely to be allowed to give you oral sex, or a massage, or that foot rub. Tease him. The voracious sexual energy you’ll generate in him by doing so can be channeled into pleasing you. Use your imagination.

It means that if, during that week, he’s made you happy, he’ll be given a release

Ugh. Bitch.

Fool on the guy though for marrying her in the first place.

Why would a guy go along with a chasity belt?

I said he could do that. I never said he would have to. I was just presenting one possible means of escape.

Best way to escape this ... don't do it in the first place!

Anyway, a couple of guys on the poll have voted that they did it and liked it. I'm curious to hear what they've got to say.

Best way to escape this ... don't do it in the first place!
Obviously. I never said my way was the best way, just a way.

Anyway, a couple of guys on the poll have voted that they did it and liked it. I'm curious to hear what they've got to say.
Those are your joke votes, I assume.

I think that BDSM (which this is a part of) is something some guys do go for as a fantasy. I think in particular men who are uncomfortable with their own sexuality will fantsize about this stuff. Kind of like women who fantasize about being forced to have sex with a man. It's more common than you think.

I think a lot of it may be caused by sexual disfunctionality. People who think that sex is dirty may feel better about it if they fantasize that it's something they were forced to do. It's sick, but it happens.

That being said, I don't have a problem with someone who engages in this behavior. As others have said, it's something between consenting adults.

It's almost sadistic. If I was to get a hard on, it would really hurt and be frustrating. I'd like to see a girl try and get one of those on me.

These bits are, in my mind, the scary bits ...

Took off Male Chastity: The Woman’s Pictorial Guide to a Blissful Relationship

Author: Dr. Tanya Larisse

Girlfriends of mine have long been envious of my wonderful husband, Ron. Never have they seen such a well-mannered, sensitive and caring man. What they don’t realize is that their own boyfriends or husbands could be turned into the same.

If you read about behavioural psychology and Skinner's rats then she's proably right.

This is often the most difficult step. Your goal is to convince your man to purchase and wear a chastity device. Explain to him that doing so would make your relationship stronger, happier, more fun, and intimate. It’s not that you don’t trust him, but you’d feel very special being the one and only one that has control of his sex. Reassure him that by making you his key holder, he’s taking a step towards long term happiness for you both.

No shit it's the most difficult step! Note the emotional blackmail arguments here and the logical fallacies (appeals to consequences and conclusion (happier relationship) not actually flowing from the premise (man should wear a chastity belt)! This is a power-game/power manipulation short and simple.

Do you see the power of those keys now? As long as you hold them, your man’s days of masturbating are over. Furthermore, you now have the power to limit his orgasms, providing them sparingly, only when he has earned the privilege by pleasing you. You’ve become the sole proprietor of his manhood and, as such, have paved the way to making him the man you’ve always wanted.

that's just chilling. It's clearly surrendering all male power. and that comment about molding ... human beings are not toys to be re-molded


Just because he’s prevented from achieving sexual relief doesn’t mean that you are!

Hypocritical and one sided!

Soon, you’ll grow to adore keeping your man in a chastity device and wonder why you didn’t do it right from day one. Your man will grow to adore you like he’s never adored any woman before.

I feel the ghost of Skinner & Pavlov. You'll end up this way because of the effects of positive and negative reinforcement.

And this is possibly the worst ...

"Hi Tanya. I'm really excited about the idea of keeping my boyfriend in a chastity belt. The problem is, I don't want to hurt his feelings by suggesting that I want him kept in one. He's already more kind, sweet, caring, and attentive than any other guy I've been with. How can I convince him to try it without making him feel like he needs to improve?"

- Lisa, Location Unknown, Age Unknown

Here's what I would do, Lisa. Talk to him about the benefits of chastity. Tell him that you love the way he treats you and don't want it to ever change so you'd like to try keeping him locked. Make it seem fun and exciting. If he is indeed the sweet man you've described, he'll have no trouble giving it a try.

It's like making a guy a pet.

Obviously. I never said my way was the best way, just a way.


Those are your joke votes, I assume.


No, not all. Might be joke votes by someone else but not by me.

It just doesn't sound the leat bit appealing. I treat women right. Would they honestly think a chasity belt would keep it that way? I think I could keep it that way.

No, not all. Might be joke votes by someone else but not by me.
I wasn't very clear. I meant "your" in the sense of, it's your thread, so the votes are for your curiosity. In that sense they are yours. I didn't mean to accuse you of fabricating them.

These bits are, in my mind, the scary bits ...


"Hi Tanya. I'm really excited about the idea of keeping my boyfriend in a chastity belt. The problem is, I don't want to hurt his feelings by suggesting that I want him kept in one. He's already more kind, sweet, caring, and attentive than any other guy I've been with. How can I convince him to try it without making him feel like he needs to improve?"

- Lisa, Location Unknown, Age Unknown

Here's what I would do, Lisa. Talk to him about the benefits of chastity. Tell him that you love the way he treats you and don't want it to ever change so you'd like to try keeping him locked. Make it seem fun and exciting. If he is indeed the sweet man you've described, he'll have no trouble giving it a try.

Good, I hope she made the guy wake up to himself and get the hell out of that relationship.

Just imagine the story he'd have to tell.

What I find amusing and somewhat troubling by the site is that it seems to suggest that male masturbation and sexual gratification is something wrong that must be curbed controlled and eliminated but there is nothing wrong with a woman seeking as much sexual gratification as she wants.

So I suspect it's real. :(Then maybe you should visit the site where you can supposedly buy the chastity belts.

What I find amusing and somewhat troubling by the site is that it seems to suggest that male masturbation and sexual gratification is something wrong that must be curbed controlled and eliminated but there is nothing wrong with a woman seeking as much sexual gratification as she wants.

Interesting view. I didn't think the site was suggesting that male masturbation and sexual gratification is wrong and so should be curbed, controlled an eliminated.

I read it as the authorette was suggesting that the way men treat women is wrong, the way men shirk household duties is wrong, the way that men only give affection like massages/cuddling and so on is because they want sex. I then read it that the authorette correctly identified that if a woman can control a man's sex drive and, through both negative and positive sexual reinforcement, can create a series of conditioned response. The authorette also identified that over time a man's personality would be re-molded and changed so that he becomes little more than a sexually controlled slave.

I think this is, at best, ethically dubious. Even if this is entered into consensually to begin with, because of the conditioning process, the essence of real consent disappears. It's a kind of brain-washing.

What I also find apalling is that she advocates emotional blackmail on the part of the female to bring this all about ... with the implication that if a man is resistant to the idea of surrendering his sexuality, his very masculinity, to the woman then he is somehow 'at fault'

And, of course, just because women don't like some aspects of male behaviour - not getting enough attention - doesn't mean it is 'wrong'

And, a further rant, why should the male have to change? If a woman is not getting enough attention from her man, could it be that she has some work to do in boosting the relationship rather than engaging in this abhorrent form of re-programming?

That's enough from me for now. Rant over.

This is going to go on my list of 'things that justify an instant break-up'. :eek:

Same here, then again I doubt I would last long in a relationship with a woman who thought this was ok.

Interesting view. I didn't think the site was suggesting that male masturbation and sexual gratification is wrong and so should be curbed, controlled an eliminated.



"What’s more, if you refuse to assist him in achieving that relief, he’ll resort to masturbating and take care of the problem on his own.

Do you see the power of those keys now? As long as you hold them, your man’s days of masturbating are over.
When he looks at you now, he not only sees his girlfriend or wife, but also the only person capable of providing him with sexual relief. You, the woman, have complete control of your man’s sex – this is the way it should be."

I take that to mean that male sexual gratification, without "permission" is wrong, and something to be corrected.

What I find troubling is that a historical view of women as something to be controlled has been (rightly so) attacked as a horrible historical injustice and something to be combated vigourously. If we were to find some historical documentation about the propelr way to "treat your woman" that spoke in terms like this, we would be amused at the extreme myopic view at best, and disgusted and outraged at worst. And I'm quite sure that the woman who penned this site would vehemently disagree with a historical view on women, yet at the same time advocate this...this....what, forced sexual slavery?

Again, if people want to do it for fun foreplay and kink, more power to them, as long as it's clearly understood that whenever one party wants it to end, it ends immediatly. But this idea that men's sexual gratification is something to be controlled, and that men who don't are somehow "wrong", and emotional blackmail and trickery are valid ways of achieving this is frankly disgusting.

This is such a terrible idea. If you want a nicer boyfriend then dump the one you have and go and get a new one. Trying to brainwash the one you have is so very wrong. And getting a new one is probably easier than convincing your current one to lock his cock up and do whatever you say.

I think it's a pants idea, I mean it would mean that I have to sit down to pee and I like standing up to pee...

I think it's a pants idea, I mean it would mean that I have to sit down to pee and I like standing up to pee...

Yes....yes I suppose there's that too...

I like it.

Ridiculous. But funny.

I think it's a pants idea, I mean it would mean that I have to sit down to pee and I like standing up to pee...


Damn! I knew I'd missed the most important part out! I couldn't quite put my finger on it (much like the poor sod depicted in the cartoon!).

I like it.


Cool. A different viewpoint. Would you like to elaborate why? And are you M or F? Have you done it/want to do it? And can you talk about some of the earlier posts on brainwashing/comparison to historic female oppression and so on?

Cheers

CDA

There's no such thing as male chastity. There's alot of guys who can't get laid, but not by coice.

There's no such thing as male chastity. There's alot of guys who can't get laid, but not by coice.

You need to read the original post. I'll save you the bother. Read this link ...

http://www.angelfire.com/id2/Hawaii/MaleCh.html

Women are always trying to find ways to control men. What did we ever do to them? :D

i have been in one for 4 years now :upyours:

im also chained to a wall in a small basement with a leak and no windows

i have been in one for 4 years now :upyours:

im also chained to a wall in a small basement with a leak and no windows

That's amazing, how do you type?

That's amazing, how do you type?

with my butt cheeks, i have setup a computer program to deciefer my butt cheek clinching and type for me

...also required a 12" anal probe with a 3" diameter

OK, which woman voted that she wants to try it on her man? Come on, own up!

On the really funny side, because I created this thread some poor unsuspecting bloke is going to get the most shocking suggestion of his life from his partner! :D

I wonder if he will agree?

with my butt cheeks, i have setup a computer program to deciefer my butt cheek clinching and type for me

...also required a 12" anal probe with a 3" diameter


Damn! You're pretty skilful! :D That must have taken a lot of practice!

OK, which woman voted that she wants to try it on her man? Come on, own up!

On the really funny side, because I created this thread some poor unsuspecting bloke is going to get the most shocking suggestion of his life from his partner! :D

I wonder if he will agree?

i have known women that do very cruel things to their husbands/boyfriends without their agreement

i was also unfortunate enough to hear a conversation on what certain females would do if they ever caught their man looking at someone else. some of their suggestions to each other hurt me just picturing it

It's almost slavery

with my butt cheeks, i have setup a computer program to deciefer my butt cheek clinching and type for me

...also required a 12" anal probe with a 3" diameter
Be careful the leak doesn't cause a short and electrocute you from the inside out.

Damn! I knew I'd missed the most important part out! I couldn't quite put my finger on it (much like the poor sod depicted in the cartoon!).

Lol, yeah I realise that wasn't the most productive of comments but hey. Seriously though I think that if a woman does force a man to wear a chastity belt then it shows a distinct lack of trust in him on her part. I mean as a devoted Christian myslef, I have a deep belief in the sanctity of marriage and if my wife wanted me to wear one of these I'd be seriously upset as I'd probably think she doesn't trust me to be faithful.

OK, which woman voted that she wants to try it on her man? Come on, own up!

On the really funny side, because I created this thread some poor unsuspecting bloke is going to get the most shocking suggestion of his life from his partner! :D

I wonder if he will agree?


Which leads me to think, how would you broach the subject? I mean, do you do it over breakfast?

F: darling, could you pass me the orange juice?
M: here you go
F: darling,
M: *reading newspaper* mmmm?
F: darling, I want to lock up your cock in a medieval torture device and control your every waking moment
M: *making a terrible error by reading newspaper and not paying attention* mmmm, that's nice dear ...

i have known women that do very cruel things to their husbands/boyfriends without their agreement

i was also unfortunate enough to hear a conversation on what certain females would do if they ever caught their man looking at someone else. some of their suggestions to each other hurt me just picturing it


Women are pretty vicious. There was a case in the paper where a 55+ year old woman went into a murderous rage because her husband cheated on her. She went round to her love rival's flat and stabbed her 11 times. The victim survived but was blinded and no doubt has severe other physical and also mental trauma

Only one type of man would ever allow the chastity belt to be used: Silverman from Saving Silverman. I mean, after all, no strong willed man would ever allow his wife/girlfriend to force the device upon him. I would never allow my capacity to urinate on my feet to be abridged.

Oh, and one other problem is presented with the belt: Any decent locksmith could take it off, recreate the lock, then replace it, while giving the man a spare key. Thus, it automatically nullifies itself, because it provides motive, opportunity, and means to cheat.

This is the worst idea ever.

Lol, yeah I realise that wasn't the most productive of comments but hey. Seriously though I think that if a woman does force a man to wear a chastity belt then it shows a distinct lack of trust in him on her part. I mean as a devoted Christian myslef, I have a deep belief in the sanctity of marriage and if my wife wanted me to wear one of these I'd be seriously upset as I'd probably think she doesn't trust me to be faithful.


Fair enough. I think that (largely) the article isn't so much about trust (although that does come into it in part) it's more about the female reducing the partner to the status of a slave and a sexual plaything. And nothing more than that.

What's worse is, owing to the way the human mind works in response to negative or positive reinforcement and conditioned response, is that the man in the chastity belt would very quickly become wholly dependant on being kept in that state. It may be consent to begin with but quickly all free will would disappear.

That is just wrong!

Hey, if women had to wear chastity belts, why not men. Revenge is sweet indeed. :D
It's not my fault that patriarchal bastards in the past did things like this to women. Anyone who does this is a human rights abuser.

Hey, if women had to wear chastity belts, why not men. Revenge is sweet indeed. :D
:eek:

As a highly submissive man with a healthy enforced chastity kink, I would use it, but only with a woman I loved and trusted very much. But I don't like the way this woman is advocating it. Enforced chastity is entirely a power exchange form of play, and thus no one should engage in it if a massive power exchange (giving up loads of power to their partner, specifically) is not something they would enjoy. Chastity play is a form of BDSM, and should be seen as such. Emotional coercion is wrong, unless the person actually *wants* to be coerced, and the person doing the coercion honestly has the best interests of their partner at heart.

I would highly reccommend against anyone going into enforced chastity, under any circumstances, unless they have an actual sexual *need* to be controlled in such a way, and fully understand and accept that.

Having your sexual urges frustrated and pent up can actually be a massive turn on, and make those few (or not so few) times you are actually granted release much more pleasurable. But you should never engage in it with a partner who doesn't care highly about your own sense of pleasure, mental health, and well being.

The whole "Conditioning" thing gets controversial in BDSM relationships. Many submissives actively wish to be "Trained" using operant and classical conditioning. This is very powerful sexual play, and shouldn't be embarked on as lightly as this woman would suggest.

I find it especially troubling how she encourages women to emotionally coerce men who have no experience with BDSM play to start out with chastity play. There are much tamer and more temporary means of power exchange that one should begin with, to know if it is really something they want to do.

I guess the lesson people learn from being opressed is not that opression is wrong, but that they want to be the opressors.

As a highly submissive man with a healthy enforced chastity kink, I would use it, but only with a woman I loved and trusted very much. But I don't like the way this woman is advocating it. Enforced chastity is entirely a power exchange form of play, and thus no one should engage in it if a massive power exchange (giving up loads of power to their partner, specifically) is not something they would enjoy. Chastity play is a form of BDSM, and should be seen as such. Emotional coercion is wrong, unless the person actually *wants* to be coerced, and the person doing the coercion honestly has the best interests of their partner at heart.

I would highly reccommend against anyone going into enforced chastity, under any circumstances, unless they have an actual sexual *need* to be controlled in such a way, and fully understand and accept that.

Having your sexual urges frustrated and pent up can actually be a massive turn on, and make those few (or not so few) times you are actually granted release much more pleasurable. But you should never engage in it with a partner who doesn't care highly about your own sense of pleasure, mental health, and well being.

The whole "Conditioning" thing gets controversial in BDSM relationships. Many submissives actively wish to be "Trained" using operant and classical conditioning. This is very powerful sexual play, and shouldn't be embarked on as lightly as this woman would suggest.

I find it especially troubling how she encourages women to emotionally coerce men who have no experience with BDSM play to start out with chastity play. There are much tamer and more temporary means of power exchange that one should begin with, to know if it is really something they want to do.

As I said before, what consenting adults chose to do is fine. And as someone who's willing to try anything once, I can even somewhat see the allure of it, from a "it's something different" point of view.

What this article seems to suggest though is removing the element of choice from the equation all together, and advocates coersion, manipulation, force, and mental conditioning to create an enviornment she feels is "best".

Frankly when you remove ones element of choice, the ability to say "that's enough, this is now over" this moves outside the realm of kink entirely and becomes, frankly, another form of rape.

And that's exactly what this is, rape.

Now for those who wanted to know why anyone would ever use something like this, I want you to try something.

Stop masturbating. For maybe as long as a couple days or a week even. Then see how much the sensation improves when you finally do.

What this woman advocates is not only coercion, it's almost fraud, as the man really doesn't know what he's getting into. If a couple really wants to try out enforced chastity, they should begin without a device, but with just simple trust. Their partner should under NO circumstances emotionally blackmail them. The effect that enforced chastity creates is really to make a man more submissive.

And that's exactly what this is, rape.

rape (n): The crime of forcing another person to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse.

Correct. :)

This woman is worse than just about all of the male chauvenists I know. Like someone else said, if it's consentual, and the option of saying "enough" and adherance to that is there, do as you wish.

Personally, though, there's no way in hell you'd get me in one of those.

Again, however, it is still a useless device in the first place. Locksmithing has advanced to a very impressive degree in recent years. Not being able to have sexual release with one's partner is basically telling him to go out and F*^% a broad. I know that's extraordinarily politically incorrect, but the point is valid. Putting on a chastity belt would actually force a man to be unfaithful. And, if the locksmithing is done properly, it would allow a man to unfaithful and still get away with it. Recreate the lock so the original key fits, then make a copy for the man. "How could I be unfaithful to you, honey? You're the only one with a key." (man drops spare key into pants pocket.)

The point isn't to keep him faithful, nor is it meant as an honest attempt to fully control it. No one would want a truly 100% effective, unescapable chastity belt, because if the key get's damaged, you are screwed (or not.)
The chastity belt is a sex toy, meant to increase the pleasure of orgasm by reliably delaying it, and to transfer some power to the keyholding partner.
In a non-coercive chastity belt play relationship, the man would be wearing the belt because he enjoys sexual frustration and enjoys being under the power of his sexual partner. It's really a meathod of "harnessing" sexual energy, in order to let it out all at once.

I think that the only way this can be done non-coercively is for the partners to go into it gradually, with a no strings attempt for the first few weeks. If the man descides it is not for him, the partner will not emotionally blackmail them, act all disappointed, or be in any other way coercive. Only when the man affirms that he indeed *likes* wearing the belt, and *likes* having his sex controlled, should it move forward.

As a highly submissive man with a healthy enforced chastity kink, I would use it, but only with a woman I loved and trusted very much. But I don't like the way this woman is advocating it. Enforced chastity is entirely a power exchange form of play, and thus no one should engage in it if a massive power exchange (giving up loads of power to their partner, specifically) is not something they would enjoy. Chastity play is a form of BDSM, and should be seen as such. Emotional coercion is wrong, unless the person actually *wants* to be coerced, and the person doing the coercion honestly has the best interests of their partner at heart.

I would highly reccommend against anyone going into enforced chastity, under any circumstances, unless they have an actual sexual *need* to be controlled in such a way, and fully understand and accept that.

Having your sexual urges frustrated and pent up can actually be a massive turn on, and make those few (or not so few) times you are actually granted release much more pleasurable. But you should never engage in it with a partner who doesn't care highly about your own sense of pleasure, mental health, and well being.

The whole "Conditioning" thing gets controversial in BDSM relationships. Many submissives actively wish to be "Trained" using operant and classical conditioning. This is very powerful sexual play, and shouldn't be embarked on as lightly as this woman would suggest.

I find it especially troubling how she encourages women to emotionally coerce men who have no experience with BDSM play to start out with chastity play. There are much tamer and more temporary means of power exchange that one should begin with, to know if it is really something they want to do.


Thanks for the post it's good to get your views. I particularly agree with your points on emotional coercion.

And, at the risk of getting flamed to death, in my view emotional coercion is something that women generally are very good at and overly-prone to using as a form of manipulation. For example ... I work in journalism. The other week I had a PR girl on the phone trying to make me feel guilty in order to get publicity for her client. Needless to say, I neither contact her nor her client anymore. That said, even though I knew what she was doing, she did succeed in making me feel bad for a while until I shook it off.

Again, however, it is still a useless device in the first place. Locksmithing has advanced to a very impressive degree in recent years. Not being able to have sexual release with one's partner is basically telling him to go out and F*^% a broad. I know that's extraordinarily politically incorrect, but the point is valid. Putting on a chastity belt would actually force a man to be unfaithful. And, if the locksmithing is done properly, it would allow a man to unfaithful and still get away with it. Recreate the lock so the original key fits, then make a copy for the man. "How could I be unfaithful to you, honey? You're the only one with a key." (man drops spare key into pants pocket.)

The key problems with the article as advocated by the female locker-upper is that it's emotionally coercive (emotional blackmail), dishonest in that (1) she does not advocate a full and frank disclosure of the purpose and effects (2) actively lies that the point is to promote a healthy relationship when in her mind it clearly is to reduce a man to the status of a sexual-plaything, dogsbody and general slave and simultaneously put the woman on a power trip (3) implies that male sexuality without feminine permission is 'wrong' and needs to be controlled (4) gives no warning about the likely effects of classical and operant conditioning. Especially important as the sex drive is so powerful.

King Arthur, the problem is this. Your woman decides she has an issue with you ... you don't take out the garbage, you don't show enough affection, whatever. According to the authorette, your woman is well-within her rights emotionally co-erce you into getting into one of those things. If done right, that would be done over a long period of time and would be done subtly. Once you're in it, you're trapped. Note: the authorette says keep the periods between orgasm denial short at first. In this way you would end up sexually conditioned by both positive and negative reinforcement. But it wouldn't be the case that you went for so long that you wanted to cheat. But as the period between cases got longer you would, owing to the operant conditioning inflicted on you, begin to fixate on the one person who can give you sexual relief or inflict sexual frustration upon you. It would change your very psychology. That's what the authorette means when she says toward the end of her text that the man would grow to adore the woman.

Although I can see how enforced male chastity could well work within a loving , consensual relationship - especially after one of the earlier posters gave his views, the way the authorette puts it is, at best, definitely manipulative and possibly even evil.

Another affect of the conditioning aspect is that you shouldn't go into it unless you fully understand what the effects are. I may want to be the person this kind of "training" would condition me to be, but I understand the implications of that.

Do you really think that any mere 'device' can contain my lust?!? Hah! I'd bust through it like the Hulk through dress shirts! :D

sweet mercyfull jesus.


women should never have a say in anything.

the smartest thing to come out of a womens mouth was einstiens cock.:D

Another affect of the conditioning aspect is that you shouldn't go into it unless you fully understand what the effects are. I may want to be the person this kind of "training" would condition me to be, but I understand the implications of that.

Spot on. This form of training is extremely powerful and should not be treated as casually as the woman suggests in the article.

sweet mercyfull jesus.

women should never have a say in anything.

the smartest thing to come out of a womens mouth was einstiens cock.:D


In the context of this discussion, that comment is wrong in so many ways. But I did laugh, and laugh out loud :D

sweet mercyfull jesus.


women should never have a say in anything.

the smartest thing to come out of a womens mouth was einstiens cock.
It certainly wasn't yours. Not that I believe any woman would get within five feet of you, with that misogynist attitude you're peddling.
(Nvm if you were honestly being sarcastic.)

It certainly wasn't yours. Not that I believe any woman would get within five feet of you, with that misogynist attitude you're peddling.
(Nvm if you were honestly being sarcastic.)

I believe that would be sarcastic, although if there were a lot more women with an attitude like the one in the link in the OP, I'd agree with him.

Thankfully, they're much more reasonable. :)

Ignoring the 6 pages between here and the OP:


I'd like to see him try and go through Airport security! :D
EDIT: Gaming Master eh? Go me.

Ignoring the 6 pages between here and the OP:


I'd like to see him try and go through Airport security! :D
EDIT: Gaming Master eh? Go me.

I'd imagine easily done. At my prior job we shipped sensitive material. We bound them in tamperproof plastic bands that were identified by individual series numbers. NO way to open it without observation, and no way to put another one on.

We shipped and recorded the serial numbers, reciver called us and read the #, we confirmed that the package had not been tampered with.

Voila, plastic lock

I'd imagine easily done. At my prior job we shipped sensitive material. We bound them in tamperproof plastic bands that were identified by individual series numbers. NO way to open it without observation, and no way to put another one on.

We shipped and recorded the serial numbers, reciver called us and read the #, we confirmed that the package had not been tampered with.

Voila, plastic lock
Er, what? I was thinking more of the metal detector -
"Sir, would you please remove all metallic items on your person."

"Em, yeah... about that..."

I think that the only way this can be done non-coercively is for the partners to go into it gradually, with a no strings attempt for the first few weeks. If the man descides it is not for him, the partner will not emotionally blackmail them, act all disappointed, or be in any other way coercive. Only when the man affirms that he indeed *likes* wearing the belt, and *likes* having his sex controlled, should it move forward.

But even then the "control" is still at the consent of the submissivly inclined. I don't claim to know too much about the lifestyle, but from my understanding most of these relationships operate on a "keyword" system. In other words, the human instanct to say "no, stop" when the pain/frustration/what have you gets too much, even though he/she doesn't REALLY want it to stop. In other words no doesn't actually mean no. However in those situations some form of "keyword" is operational. In other words, I may scream "STOP" because I'm instinctually inclined but I don't really want you to, but if I yell out "strawberry" or whatever, that's the signal that everything ends.

As long as no matter the act, no matter the level it goes to, there's some way for it to end immediatly and unquestionably without guilt, coersion or question, I'm fine with it. Take those away and you take away choice, and sex, as I said, becomes rape.

Er, what? I was thinking more of the metal detector -
"Sir, would you please remove all metallic items on your person."

"Em, yeah... about that..."

Exactly. I imagine these mechanisms come in two parts, the "cage" as you will, and the lock. I'm sure the device itself is often made of plastic for that exact reason, and, as I've said, there exists many plastic "locks" like I described where any tampering with it would be immediatly obvious on inspection.

And ergo, the metal decetor doesn't detect plastic.

Exactly. I imagine these mechanisms come in two parts, the "cage" as you will, and the lock. I'm sure the device itself is often made of plastic for that exact reason, and, as I've said, there exists many plastic "locks" like I described where any tampering with it would be immediatly obvious on inspection.

And ergo, the metal decetor doesn't detect plastic.
Ohh, ok. I was thinking more along the lines of the one from Robin Hood Men in Tights - big cast iron deely.

because I hate to make claims without justification, on a quick internet search (and what a mind scarring experience that was) it does appear that the cb200 or whatever it is she called it is, indeed, made of plastic. See-through, at that..

I'm all for this if it's used in a healthy BDSM relationship.

Because of this fact, men can be very charming, caring, and considerate to a woman in order to gain her assistance in achieving an orgasm. Once the orgasm has occurred, however, men tend to put those wonderful qualities on the backburner until the urge for sexual relief comes back

I really don't see how this chastity belt helps solve this problem. In fact, it seems like it just exacerbates the problem. The premise seems to be that if a man's penis is under lock and key, then he will become a better boyfriend/husband because his girlfriend/wife controls his means of sexual gratification. I fail to see how the "changes" that the man in this belt exhibits are any more honest or truthful than the ones we exhibit in order to get women into bed to begin with. If a man is in this belt, then he's not going to suddenly be a more charming and caring boyfriend/husband because he wants to. He's going to be a more charming and caring boyfriend/husband because he wants sexual gratification and he knows that that's how he's going to get it, the same as men supposedly do anyway now. I don't see the point.

I practice abstinence. But not by choice. :headbang:

What if you break up and she ties the key to the foot of a migrating goose?

What if you break up and she ties the key to the foot of a migrating goose?

Then you go to the hardware store and buy a $20 pair of bolt cutters. The lock on a chastity belt cannot be large.

I'm all for this if it's used in a healthy BDSM relationship.



I really don't see how this chastity belt helps solve this problem. In fact, it seems like it just exacerbates the problem. The premise seems to be that if a man's penis is under lock and key, then he will become a better boyfriend/husband because his girlfriend/wife controls his means of sexual gratification. I fail to see how the "changes" that the man in this belt exhibits are any more honest or truthful than the ones we exhibit in order to get women into bed to begin with. If a man is in this belt, then he's not going to suddenly be a more charming and caring boyfriend/husband because he wants to. He's going to be a more charming and caring boyfriend/husband because he wants sexual gratification and he knows that that's how he's going to get it, the same as men supposedly do anyway now. I don't see the point.

I suppose the author of the page would say that a man will only be as charming for as long as he has to, and basent sex for a while will just give up and rub one off, then not care about sex for a while. Remove the capability, and he only has ONE way to get it, and will continue to do anything for it...and over time the conditioning will take hold and he'll just "become" nicer

I suppose the author of the page would say that a man will only be as charming for as long as he has to, and basent sex for a while will just give up and rub one off, then not care about sex for a while. Remove the capability, and he only has ONE way to get it, and will continue to do anything for it...and over time the conditioning will take hold and he'll just "become" nicer

But it's still just a response to getting laid. The best that any woman operating under this premise can hope for is that the man is conditioned like a dog to be nice because he equates it with orgasm. Eventually, sure, he'll become a nicer guy. Eventually he'll be nice on his own instead of being prompted to be nice. But it'll only be a subconscious reaction to wanting sex.

But even then the "control" is still at the consent of the submissivly inclined. I don't claim to know too much about the lifestyle, but from my understanding most of these relationships operate on a "keyword" system. In other words, the human instanct to say "no, stop" when the pain/frustration/what have you gets too much, even though he/she doesn't REALLY want it to stop. In other words no doesn't actually mean no. However in those situations some form of "keyword" is operational. In other words, I may scream "STOP" because I'm instinctually inclined but I don't really want you to, but if I yell out "strawberry" or whatever, that's the signal that everything ends.

As long as no matter the act, no matter the level it goes to, there's some way for it to end immediatly and unquestionably without guilt, coersion or question, I'm fine with it. Take those away and you take away choice, and sex, as I said, becomes rape.
Safewords are important, (though usually it's also because saying things like "No!" and "take mercy" are a fun part of roleplay.) and most people use the streetlight system, "Green" for "I'm okay, keep it up" "Yellow" for "Back it down a little, your stretching my limits" and "Red" for "Stop now this is too much!"
Also, other things need to be taken into consideration, like gagging. When engaging in any kind of heavy play with a gagged partner, it's usually safe to have them hold some kind of coin, which if they drop it it is a signal that the play has become too much.
This is all part of the "Safe, Sane, and Consentual" Credo most people in the BDSM scene work by, though some like to work with "No net" as it were. I would reccomend against playing without some kind of safeword until you know your limits very well, and so does your partner.

Hmmm, I would CONSIDER something like that if my girl let me do the same to her, but otherwise, I dunno, the changes would kind of suck...

Something to think about but I don't see too much seriousness with it on my side.

But it's still just a response to getting laid. The best that any woman operating under this premise can hope for is that the man is conditioned like a dog to be nice because he equates it with orgasm. Eventually, sure, he'll become a nicer guy. Eventually he'll be nice on his own instead of being prompted to be nice. But it'll only be a subconscious reaction to wanting sex.

Hence my fundamental issue with this ideology.

I would reccomend against playing without some kind of safeword until you know your limits very well, and so does your partner.

Exactly. Know limits. This isn't about knowing limits it's about forcing a view ont an unsuspecting partner and doing whatever it takes to get there.

A few thoughts:

It's far too simplistic. "Oh, your b/f is so caring and sensitive! Why is that?", "He doesn't whack off" :rolleyes:

What if she lost the key?

Why is male masturbation so wrong? The author is keen on the woman masturbating (using dildos etc) regularly, but not the guy. That's hardly fair!

Why is it so wrong for the guy to have interests outside of his g/f? The letter saying how she found him playing computer games so must be punished is just wrong.

How would you take a dump?

And then there's wet dreams. Obviously after a couple of weeks of not getting any, your average guy will have a wetty. How will you clean up the mess? Let alone, how will you have an erection?

Men have lots over the course of a day and during sleep (mostly involuntary, but I'd suspect more would become voluntary the longer you went without). Would there be a 'tinging' sound every time you crack a fat?
Christ! With me, it'd be almost a constant tintinnabulation!
(Just picturing a mini-skirted girl walking by and "Ding dong, merrily on high" or the Big Ben chimes bursting from my pants)

The only time I've done anything remotely like this was when I was in a long distance relationship. At her behest, a few days before we'd meet up I'd stop with the self-pollution. That was hard...I mean difficult. When we met, I was practically bursting out of my trousers.




btw, there's some very good points being raised here. Someone should email them to the site and ask the author to reply to them. I'd be interested to see her responses - esp the 'rape' post.

Then you go to the hardware store and buy a $20 pair of bolt cutters. The lock on a chastity belt cannot be large.
How confident would you feel holding a pair of bolt-cutters that close to your genitals?

Okay, I'd never do this to my man. Dear Hades. *shakes head*

1. Hygiene. If things are still intact...that could get mighty gross in a VERY short period of time. Even if things aren't, not being able to properly clean yourself just isn't attractive.

2. Sexual gratification from having your man in a metal lockbox? Not very attractive. If he's in pain and most likely reeking of urine and such, he won't be in the mood for much but killing himself, so at least in heaven he can wack off. Ergo, if he isn't into it, you won't be.

3. Come on people. It's just wrong. :(

i wood LOVE to engage in chastity but i think ill just go over ther and stick my winky in meat grinder instead. :)

Because of this fact, men can be very charming, caring, and considerate to a woman in order to gain her assistance in achieving an orgasm. Once the orgasm has occurred, however, men tend to put those wonderful qualities on the backburner until the urge for sexual relief comes back

I really don't see how this chastity belt helps solve this problem. In fact, it seems like it just exacerbates the problem. The premise seems to be that if a man's penis is under lock and key, then he will become a better boyfriend/husband because his girlfriend/wife controls his means of sexual gratification. I fail to see how the "changes" that the man in this belt exhibits are any more honest or truthful than the ones we exhibit in order to get women into bed to begin with. If a man is in this belt, then he's not going to suddenly be a more charming and caring boyfriend/husband because he wants to. He's going to be a more charming and caring boyfriend/husband because he wants sexual gratification and he knows that that's how he's going to get it, the same as men supposedly do anyway now. I don't see the point.

It's all to do with 'behavioural psychology'. In a nutshell, you can control someone's behaviour with positive and negative reinforcement in a process called 'operant conditioning'. Now, by controlling such a powerful drive like the sex drive in such a way, the controlling women would end up re-shaping her man's psyche.

When the women in the article writes that the controlled man will grow to adore the controlling woman, she means it literally. The man, any man, would fixate on the woman. If you are a guy and your woman is suggesting this to you in the way that the woman in the article is suggesting it, then beware - she does not have your best interests at heart.

That said, I think enforced chastity play is fine as part of a loving relationship.

But you have to know what operant conditioning is and what you're getting into (literally and metaphorically) before you, well, get into it.

Exactly! What if you're all locked up and you significant other gets run over by a bus? How do you get the damn thing off then? Use a chainsaw ??!! **shudders**

Go on! Vote in the poll! Don't be shy :D
Whoever said it's going to be my significant other? Maybe I just want to trick a random guy into wearing that thing to satisfy my own sadistic urges. ;) Besides, using a chainsaw to get the chastity belt off a guy would be quite fun...hmmm...*adds to list of things to do* :p

I would never do such a thing.

First of all, my bf is already sweet, and often quite cuddly and I don't feel the need to control him in such a manner. If he wants to go jerk off in his own time, that's his thing, when we're together, I like nothing better than to make him as happy as a guy can possibly be. No manipulation, no forcing him to do chores, no acting like I own him or anything like that. The need for any sort of chastity device in a relationship has to indicate that there's something unhealthy there.

Also, I don't know what sorts of men these women encounter, but I've never had a guy shy away from giving me pleasure or being horribly selfish in bed. Most guys I've come accross seem to enjoy getting me off as much as they enjoy getting off.

Whoever said it's going to be my significant other? Maybe I just want to trick a random guy into wearing that thing to satisfy my own sadistic urges. ;) Besides, using a chainsaw to get the chastity belt off a guy would be quite fun...hmmm...*adds to list of things to do* :p


Ladamesansmerci, you're a deeply disturbed woman :p I suspect, from this post, that you don't have many friends in the real world ;) That's why you conjure up these strange fantasies!

What these people fail to realise that at some point in his life a man, is either forced to go or willingly enters a shop which sells tools.

Isn't this a joke website? I can't imagine anybody submitting to this unless they were pretty into submission/dominance as a regular thing.

Quite apart from that, reading this was pretty exciting. Maybe I'm into that sort of thing and I didn't know it. ;)

Ladamesansmerci, you're a deeply disturbed woman :p I suspect, from this post, that you don't have many friends in the real world ;) That's why you conjure up these strange fantasies!

I'm the Lady's friend in the real world!

Maybe that explains things...

Actually, if a guy can go about a month and a half to two months, the sexual urge suddenly loses alot of potence... believe me on that.

i'd pick the lock if someone somehow got it on me... don't care how long it takes, the damn thing will come off.

Actually, if a guy can go about a month and a half to two months, the sexual urge suddenly loses alot of potence... believe me on that.

Yeah, it's a "use it or lose it" thing.

Ladamesansmerci, you're a deeply disturbed woman :p I suspect, from this post, that you don't have many friends in the real world ;) That's why you conjure up these strange fantasies!
Nah, my friends in real life don't know about these things, unless your Tweety, of course. I'm beginning to think it really IS her fault after all. :p

Yeah, it's a "use it or lose it" thing.
I don't think its a "use it or lose it" thing, its a "Master it or be mastered by it" thing. And shit, every lent I'm a master of my own domain! Girlfriend may not like it too much, but, hey, do whatcha gotta do.

I don't think its a "use it or lose it" thing, its a "Master it or be mastered by it" thing. And shit, every lent I'm a master of my own domain! Girlfriend may not like it too much, but, hey, do whatcha gotta do.

She should just be happy that you have a healthy sex drive...as long as you don't do it in front of her is she doesn't ask you to...

Hell no, I'm not giving a woman that much control over me!

Hey, if my girlfriend wanted me to wear one, I'd do so readily. Of course first I would take a locksmithing class or learn to pick locks from another source, then I would convince her to buy one with a normal type of key so that she could make a copy and hide it in case she lost the first key. She gets the happiness of me wearing a chastity belt, and I get to masturbate all I want. It's win win.

Hell no, I'm not giving a woman that much control over me!

Obviously you've never had a woman go down on you before, because we have COMPLETE control in that domain. :D

Obviously you've never had a woman go down on you before, because we have COMPLETE control in that domain. :D

That is true. Men don't seem to care about issues of control when a woman's teeth are millimeters away from their junk. Why not? When I first had a guy go down on me (I think every time a new guy does so, which has maybe been 6 times) I am worried that he'll bite me.

I don't think its a "use it or lose it" thing, its a "Master it or be mastered by it" thing. And shit, every lent I'm a master of my own domain! Girlfriend may not like it too much, but, hey, do whatcha gotta do.

That doesn't make any sense.

That is true. Men don't seem to care about issues of control when a woman's teeth are millimeters away from their junk. Why not? When I first had a guy go down on me (I think every time a new guy does so, which has maybe been 6 times) I am worried that he'll bite me.

I don't worry about that...but I don't think biting is as big an issue when it comes to the female anatomy...

I don't worry about that...but I don't think biting is as big an issue when it comes to the female anatomy...

Well, they might not be able to bite something off, but they could still hurt you badly. Like biting your tongue, you could make a hole in it. I have heard of clitoral piercings, and I don't want one, thank you very much.

Well, they might not be able to bite something off, but they could still hurt you badly. Like biting your tongue, you could make a hole in it. I have heard of clitoral piercings, and I don't want one, thank you very much.

Ooo, no, agreed. Power to the women...

What kind of stuck-up bitch would do that?!:mad:

I am sorry but I cannot resist:upyours:

What kind of stuck-up bitch would do that?!:mad:

I am sorry but I cannot resist:upyours:

I wouldn't, but that's because I do it on someone I love...

And hey, if you're a prostitue, it's an easy way to get more cash :D