NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm not asking for any advice. Got all the advice I can eat, most of it from myself. Guess I just need to vent a little and you guys are the lucky recipients of it! Heh!

I pay no morgage, have no car payments, and have very few debts, most of which will be paid off very soon indeed. I have five grown children and eight grandchildren who love me. I have a dog and two cats, who apparently have great affection for me.

So why am I so lonely? True, I live alone, but so do lots of other people. I have lots of friends on here ( well, at least some really good acquaintances ). I have other online friends I talk with via other venues. I participate in an RP, and most of you are almost painfully aware that I post on here on a regular basis.

So why am I so lonely? WTF, over?

I only feel this a few times a year, thankfully, but the times when I do feel it are intense and highly unpleasant. I'm just coming out of one of those times.

Like I say, I'm not looking for advice, just a few possible answers.

....
So why am I so lonely? WTF, over?
.....
Because you're alone. Nobody likes that all the time.

Because you're alone. Nobody likes that all the time.
Although I like my own company, you're probably right. I'm just alone too often, eh? [ looks up "Escort Services" in the phonebook ] ;)

Although I like my own company, you're probably right. I'm just alone too often, eh? [ looks up "Escort Services" in the phonebook ] ;)
t'were actually rather sad if one didn't like ones' own company, right?

diversified social contact - ya need it. I get mine at work and church... and Hooters.

t'were actually rather sad if one didn't like ones' own company, right?
Trust me on this: I've known many, many people who didn't. :(

hey eut, maybe its time for a girlfriend? ;)

diversified social contact - ya need it. I get mine at work and church... and Hooters.
LOL! I don't have any "work" in the usual sense of the term. I don't darken the door of a church any more. And as far as Hooters is concerned ... well, let's just say that I've never been fond of the "you can look, but don't touch" approach to female admiration. ;)

I live with other people, and go to school with hundreds of other people.

I'm lonely all the time.

Its a wierd thing.

I live with other people, and go to school with hundreds of other people.

I'm lonely all the time.

Its a wierd thing.
Yes it is. A fellow by name of David Riesman even wrote a book about it: The Lonely Crowd.

However, understanding it and being able to actually do something about it are two entirely different things. Sigh.

Have you ever done any volunteer work? You know, drive for the DAV, mentor at a school, something like that.

Because people's emotions (like history, and much of physics [especially astrophysics]) is cyclical. Things happen with a circadian rhythm.

I have determined this theorem through many years of thought and introversion. And like all of my theories before it, I will likely change it again and again until it is nothing like its present form. Just the same as its present form is nothing like it's prior form.

If I ever befriend a good geometer, I'm going to try to geometrically map the next big worldwide events.

But yes. You feel lonely sometimes because of the way we all have our cycles. Some do it in hours or days (we call them bi-polar), some do it in months or years. You'll change your mind later. And then again later.

hey eut, maybe its time for a girlfriend? ;)
In all truthfullness, I have several of those, but spending time with most of them doesn't seem to help. I honestly don't understand it, but I suspect it has to do with true intimacy, as opposed to just sexual intimacy. I had that for about 20 years in my marriage, but as I'm sure most of you know, that went belly-up when I lost my high-paying job at Exxon. Perhaps it's just the absence of what once was? :headbang:

maybe you miss the kids or feel different from everyone else?

anyhow yeah everyone feels alone every now and again guess your not so alone huh:)

Have you ever done any volunteer work? You know, drive for the DAV, mentor at a school, something like that.
No, but I do plan on starting my Ph.D. sometime soon, perhaps this September. There won't be very many on-campus sessions, but there will be some, so perhaps that will help? :confused:

It doesn't matter what you've got, sometimes it won't be enough. :(

But the dark time quickly passes.

Because people's emotions (like history, and much of physics [especially astrophysics]) is cyclical. Things happen with a circadian rhythm.

I have determined this theorem through many years of thought and introversion. And like all of my theories before it, I will likely change it again and again until it is nothing like its present form. Just the same as its present form is nothing like it's prior form.

If I ever befriend a good geometer, I'm going to try to geometrically map the next big worldwide events.

But yes. You feel lonely sometimes because of the way we all have our cycles. Some do it in hours or days (we call them bi-polar), some do it in months or years. You'll change your mind later. And then again later.
Probably, but that doesn't help those times when this accursed lonliness all but overwhelms me. I just want to understand why, so I can find a way around it.

No, but I do plan on starting my Ph.D. sometime soon, perhaps this September. There won't be very many on-campus sessions, but there will be some, so perhaps that will help? :confused:
Bookworming is good. What will you be studying?

It doesn't matter what you've got, sometimes it won't be enough. :(

But the dark time quickly passes.
Yes it does, thank God! But I would much prefer to know what to do to make it pass quickly ... like, in a few hours or so! Heh!

Bookworming is good. What will you be studying?
I'll be working toward my Ph.D. in Psychology, with a primary emphasis in Counseling.

Just go down to the local bar, have a couple of drinks, and pick on the liberals that you find there.

Just in case you think I'm being facetious, I've tried this same tactic to liven up a slow night in Vallejo, CA, Las Cruces, NM, and Lexington, MA. Problem with Lexington was that I couldn't find anyone that would stand up and support any Kennedy or Mme Hillary.

maybe you miss the kids or feel different from everyone else?

anyhow yeah everyone feels alone every now and again guess your not so alone huh:)
I know I'm not, in that sense of the term. But that's small consolation. It's rather like getting shot in combat and thinking, "Well there are others who got shot too, so I'm not alone." Heh! Sigh.

Just go down to the local bar, have a couple of drinks, and pick on the liberals that you find there.

Just in case you think I'm being facetious, I've tried this same tactic to liven up a slow night in Vallejo, CA, Las Cruces, NM, and Lexington, MA. Problem with Lexington was that I couldn't find anyone that would stand up and support any Kennedy or Mme Hillary.
LOL! Well, the idea of visiting a local bar has occured to me, but I get all the political shit I can stomach on here. I don't need to seek out even more. Heh!

:fluffle: *hugs* for you eut :(

i wish i had an answer, but i don't know your full situation. i could hazard a guess in that you need to spark up a fulfilling romantic relationship again (you did say you were romancing your wife once more, right?). i used to feel similarly lonely a lot, especially at uni while living with other people, observing them have relationships, meaningful or not, and always acutely aware of this thing i was missing out on - your children and other relationships may be affecting you in a similar way. perhaps its as simple as that? perhaps its more, i don't know.
if it is that, perhaps you should try to figure out why its affecting you so deeply

what else?...

perhaps you feel lonely in that you are relatively isolated from the real world. don't get me wrong, we love you here you old coot (i certainly do! the place wouldn't be the same without you :fluffle: ), but maybe spending less time with online aquantances and more time with real people (such as volunteer work as has already been mentioned) could be beneficial to you?


please note i'm incredibly tired (just driven back from amy's) and am probably stating the obvious or otherwise babbling senselessly - take what i say with a pinch of salt or three.


edit: eut, you can kinda ignore our TG cos i figured it out - that thread was deleted *nods*
still be good to hear from you and how you're doing, if you fancy talking :)

But I would much prefer to know what to do to make it pass quickly ... like, in a few hours or so! Heh!

While you're at it, find out where the fountain of youth is, and get God's autograph for me.

We are what we are, and the more we seek the change it, the less time we spend enjoying it.

Edit: I just want to be clear, my sarcasm there is of a good nature, I'm not condescending to you.

Edit again (because for once when I decide not to be long-winded, I'm unsatisfied and must keep talking): What you seek to do is reduce or remove a force that is intrinsic to our humanity. Accept all the bad as readily as you accept the good, because short of doping yourself up on Merck's latest promotional drug, there's no way to be rid of it.

Yes it does, thank God! But I would much prefer to know what to do to make it pass quickly ... like, in a few hours or so! Heh!
thats generally when i turn to escapism and star trek to tear my thoughts away from the bad things onto nerdier, better, familiar and optimistic things :)

i prescribe a good dose of nerd-trek :p

LOL! Well, the idea of visiting a local bar has occured to me, but I get all the political shit I can stomach on here. I don't need to seek out even more. Heh!
I've not been to a bar to get drunk in a long time. When I'm on the road, I go mostly to find a couple folks to talk to about something other than work. People seem to be far more approachable when they're sitting on a bar stool than at any other time. Politics is usually one of those things I don't want to start a conversation with, but when the opportunity presents itself, it's usually a good one.

:fluffle: *hugs* for you eut :(

i wish i had an answer, but i don't know your full situation. i could hazard a guess in that you need to spark up a fulfilling romantic relationship again (you did say you were romancing your wife once more, right?). i used to feel similarly lonely a lot, especially at uni while living with other people, observing them have relationships, meaningful or not, and always acutely aware of this thing i was missing out on - your children and other relationships may be affecting you in a similar way. perhaps its as simple as that? perhaps its more, i don't know.
if it is that, perhaps you should try to figure out why its affecting you so deeply

what else?...

perhaps you feel lonely in that you are relatively isolated from the real world. don't get me wrong, we love you here you old coot (i certainly do! the place wouldn't be the same without you :fluffle: ), but maybe spending less time with online aquantances and more time with real people (such as volunteer work as has already been mentioned) could be beneficial to you?

please note i'm incredibly tired (just driven back from amy's) and am probably stating the obvious or otherwise babbling senselessly - take what i say with a pinch of salt or three.
Not at all! As a matter of fact something you said just made a connection in this aged but still agile brain of mine: "your children and other relationships may be affecting you in a similar way." It just occured to me that I may be actually jealous of the relationships my own children have with their significant others! Ain't that a pisser!

It's true what you say about spending less time on here and more time out in "real life" ( whatever that is! ). At least I've joined the local YMCA and perhaps that will help.

Yes, I did try "romancing" the old gal, but apparently she has better things to do than spend time with me. I suppose it's to be expected, since she married her first husband right out of high school, and married me right after her divorce from him. She seems to be enjoying her independence. Good for her, not so good for me, I suppose. ( shrug )

Thanks so much for the kind thoughts about my being on here. :fluffle: I don't get that much, for all the obvious reasons! Heh!

edit: eut, you can kinda ignore our TG cos i figured it out - that thread was deleted *nods*
still be good to hear from you and how you're doing, if you fancy talking :)
I sent the reply to Amy. She's a lot prettier than you! :p

LOL!

Yes it does, thank God! But I would much prefer to know what to do to make it pass quickly ... like, in a few hours or so! Heh!
Start by looking at ADHD and ADD. (No, those are not just for kids.) My bet is ADD.

You'd be in good company, too.

There is a God-shaped cavity in the heart of every man and woman. Unless that cavity is filled, one is never truly and fully satisfied.

So, at the risk of sounding like a weirdo, i'm offering my advice: Jesus Christ is the answer. Take it or leave it.

God bless
-joe

While you're at it, find out where the fountain of youth is, and get God's autograph for me.

We are what we are, and the more we seek the change it, the less time we spend enjoying it.

Edit: I just want to be clear, my sarcasm there is of a good nature, I'm not condescending to you.

Edit again (because for once when I decide not to be long-winded, I'm unsatisfied and must keep talking): What you seek to do is reduce or remove a force that is intrinsic to our humanity. Accept all the bad as readily as you accept the good, because short of doping yourself up on Merck's latest promotional drug, there's no way to be rid of it.
Interesting viewpoint, but I've never been a fan of niihilism. ;)

I live with other people, and go to school with hundreds of other people.

I'm lonely all the time.

Its a wierd thing.
:( Yeah

There is a God-shaped cavity in the heart of every man and woman. Unless that cavity is filled, one is never truly and fully satisfied.

So, at the risk of sounding like a weirdo, i'm offering my advice: Jesus Christ is the answer. Take it or leave it.

God bless
-joe
Thank you, but I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Religion is what broke up my marriage, so there's no love lost between me and it. Sorry. :)

thats generally when i turn to escapism and star trek to tear my thoughts away from the bad things onto nerdier, better, familiar and optimistic things :)

i prescribe a good dose of nerd-trek :p
Not a bad idea. I should run down to my local Circuit City and see what new tactical games are best, eh? Thanks. :)

There is a natural element of loneliness in all human beings. It's a simple fact of life.
Being a bundle of synapses stuck inside a skull without any real means to connect to the other bundle of synapses that each have their own isolated emotions, all the while floating on a rock that is miniscule compared to the great expanse of darkness that envelopes everything else that exists (and there's not much, not to mention 0 other rocks with sentient life floating around in the all encompassing void), is a pretty lonely existence.

I've not been to a bar to get drunk in a long time. When I'm on the road, I go mostly to find a couple folks to talk to about something other than work. People seem to be far more approachable when they're sitting on a bar stool than at any other time. Politics is usually one of those things I don't want to start a conversation with, but when the opportunity presents itself, it's usually a good one.
I can't get drunk at a bar. All of them require that I drive and the local Constabulary are hell-on-wheels on drunk driving. But I see your point, and I may just run over to my favorite one and have a few. :)

Interesting viewpoint, but I've never been a fan of niihilism. ;)

Oh, bah, I'm not fatalistic enough to be a Nihilist.

This is more of a Taoist thing! :D

I personally subscribe to no religion or philosophy. I take the bits and pieces that make sense based on my experiences and the experiences that I've read about. And so far as I can tell, the one thing that every different group has in common is the pursuit of self-actualization and betterment (Well, yeah, Maslow knew it too...). So best of luck in your pursuit, with any luck, we'll both get to where we're going. That way, like in little league tee-ball, EVERYONE wins!

There is a God-shaped cavity in the heart of every man and woman. Unless that cavity is filled, one is never truly and fully satisfied.

So, at the risk of sounding like a weirdo, i'm offering my advice: Jesus Christ is the answer. Take it or leave it.

God bless
-joe

So that's what that's for! I thought it was where they put my pacemaker.

There is a natural element of loneliness in all human beings. It's a simple fact of life.
Being a bundle of synapses stuck inside a skull without any real means to connect to the other bundle of synapses that each have their own isolated emotions, all the while floating on a rock that is miniscule compared to the great expanse of darkness that envelopes everything else that exists (and there's not much, not to mention 0 other rocks with sentient life floating around in the all encompassing void), is a pretty lonely existence.
Well, that certainly cheered me up! :eek:

Well, that certainly cheered me up! :eek:

Yes. In my sleep, large angry giants with the names of every deity invented by man (From Huitzilopochtli to Thor to God to Brahma) come to me and tell me that I'm not worth sloth feces.

Do they come to you too?

Oh, bah, I'm not fatalistic enough to be a Nihilist.

This is more of a Taoist thing! :D

I personally subscribe to no religion or philosophy. I take the bits and pieces that make sense based on my experiences and the experiences that I've read about. And so far as I can tell, the one thing that every different group has in common is the pursuit of self-actualization and betterment (Well, yeah, Maslow knew it too...). So best of luck in your pursuit, with any luck, we'll both get to where we're going. That way, like in little league tee-ball, EVERYONE wins!
Seems like the destination I'm approaching all too rapidly is the grave. I've always tried to fully live my life, and have by and large succeeded. It's just that now lonliness lurks in the darker corners, waiting to jump out and beat me up just 'cause it can!

Yes. In my sleep, large angry giants with the names of every deity invented by man (From Huitzilopochtli to Thor to God to Brahma) come to me and tell me that I'm not worth sloth feces.

Do they come to you too?
No, usually I have visions of Michael Jackson doing the moonwalk! :eek:

Well, that certainly cheered me up! :eek:

Ya, that's pure nihilism for you. But Nord's right, it's the fatalism that's the really depressing part. :D

Ya, that's pure nihilism for you. But Nord's right, it's the fatalism that's the really depressing part. :D
LOL! Riiiight! :D

Seems like the destination I'm approaching all too rapidly is the grave. I've always tried to fully live my life, and have by and large succeeded. It's just that now lonliness lurks in the darker corners, waiting to jump out and beat me up just 'cause it can!

(I've been waiting to quote Waking Life forEVER.)

There's a scene in Waking Life where an older gentleman says, "There are two kinds of sufferers in the world. Those who suffer from a lack of life, and those who suffer from an overabundance of life. I have always found myself to be part of the latter."

Where do you find yourself? I think the most important thing a person must do before they correct their life is to find out where they stand in the first place. Is it a lack, or an overabundance?

If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.

http://www.despair.com/loneliness.html :)

If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.


hahahaha, oh man, that reminds me of Peter Griffon or Homer Simpson trying to cheer up the kids.

(I've been waiting to quote Waking Life forEVER.)

There's a scene in Waking Life where an older gentleman says, "There are two kinds of sufferers in the world. Those who suffer from a lack of life, and those who suffer from an overabundance of life. I have always found myself to be part of the latter."

Where do you find yourself? I think the most important thing a person must do before they correct their life is to find out where they stand in the first place. Is it a lack, or an overabundance?
Um ... let's see: 3 lbs of metal holding my right leg together because my 1,000th paracute jump went bad; broken right collarbone and three ribs because of a motorcycling accident; broken left collarbone and nine ribs from a mountain bike accident; missing prostate from tromping through Agent Orange-sprayed jungles during two years in Vietnam; five grown children; eight grandchildren; a life which seemed to alernate between sky-high income and the brink of poverty; two undergrad degrees, one masters degree and hopefully a Ph.D. on the way ... and that's just a brief overview.

Hmm. I suspect it would be fair to say that I'm suffering from an "overabundance" of life, if there is such a thing. :D

hahahaha, oh man, that reminds me of Peter Griffon or Homer Simpson trying to cheer up the kids.
It reminds me of why some people shoot themselves! :eek:

Hey Eut,

Your experiences really resonates with me. I am, however, surrounded by people and yet very lonely at times. I think mine might be a chemical imbalance. A couple years ago I asked the doc for anti-depressants, but the side effects were worse than the symptoms, so I got off those. Not sure they helped, anyway. Lonely, bored and depressed all seems to go together. Seems like if I can allieviate either lonely or bored, then depressed goes away. Physical exersize or accomplishment seems to alieve my symptoms better than anything else...once I get motivated to do these things. And once a week I go spend 5-7 hours down at the bar and get my dose of conversation. I do think there is something about spending time with a warm body who is not sick of your stories yet. I think that is what I miss most about my mom. She never tired of listening to my stories. Something about human contact and the need to be understood. I guess that is what makes us a social animal.

Hey Eut,

Your experiences really resonates with me. I am, however, surrounded by people and yet very lonely at times. I think mine might be a chemical imbalance. A couple years ago I asked the doc for anti-depressants, but the side effects were worse than the symptoms, so I got off those. Not sure they helped, anyway. Lonely, bored and depressed all seems to go together. Seems like if I can allieviate either lonely or bored, then depressed goes away. Physical exersize or accomplishment seems to alieve my symptoms better than anything else...once I get motivated to do these things. And once a week I go spend 5-7 hours down at the bar and get my dose of conversation. I do think there is something about spending time with a warm body who is not sick of your stories yet. I think that is what I miss most about my mom. She never tired of listening to my stories. Something about human contact and the need to be understood. I guess that is what makes us a social animal.
Lots of truth there.

I've never been clinically depressed, just those kinda "sigh, oh me" sorta blues. As I noted earlier, I've joined the local YMCA and am working my way up to a three-times a week workout. We'll see if that helps a bit.

Thanks. :)

well, let's just say that I've never been fond of the "you can look, but don't touch" approach to female admiration. ;)
I'm don't get to touch anymore - been married ten years... Been more look than touch since the honeymoon ended.

......Lonely, bored and depressed all seems to go together. Seems like if I can allieviate either lonely or bored, then depressed goes away....
Bored, lonely...not much difference, really. Either know what triggers boredom, and stay miles away from it, or develop some zenish attitude towards it and learn to like it. Unharnessed boredom is teh evil!

However, understanding it and being able to actually do something about it are two entirely different things. Sigh.

Maybe now you can, at least a bit, understand where I was coming from a while ago, when I made a thread about my depression?

Not at all! As a matter of fact something you said just made a connection in this aged but still agile brain of mine: "your children and other relationships may be affecting you in a similar way." It just occured to me that I may be actually jealous of the relationships my own children have with their significant others! Ain't that a pisser!


hehe it is, and i'm not sure what you could do about it. either get more involved, or less - those seem to be your choices... or maybe just knowing this could be the case will be enough to put your mind at ease? sometimes that's the case...

Thanks so much for the kind thoughts about my being on here. :fluffle: I don't get that much, for all the obvious reasons! Heh!
my pleasure :)
amy thinks you're a thorughly decent bloke too *nods* :fluffle:


Lots of truth there.

I've never been clinically depressed, just those kinda "sigh, oh me" sorta blues. As I noted earlier, I've joined the local YMCA and am working my way up to a three-times a week workout. We'll see if that helps a bit.

Thanks. :)
well, best of luck dude :)

I'm not asking for any advice. Got all the advice I can eat, most of it from myself. Guess I just need to vent a little and you guys are the lucky recipients of it! Heh!

I pay no morgage, have no car payments, and have very few debts, most of which will be paid off very soon indeed. I have five grown children and eight grandchildren who love me. I have a dog and two cats, who apparently have great affection for me.

So why am I so lonely? True, I live alone, but so do lots of other people. I have lots of friends on here ( well, at least some really good acquaintances ). I have other online friends I talk with via other venues. I participate in an RP, and most of you are almost painfully aware that I post on here on a regular basis.

So why am I so lonely? WTF, over?

I only feel this a few times a year, thankfully, but the times when I do feel it are intense and highly unpleasant. I'm just coming out of one of those times.

Like I say, I'm not looking for advice, just a few possible answers.
[Answer]
It is Summer and you havent been out on your Bicycle perving at all the hotties.

I'm don't get to touch anymore - been married ten years... Been more look than touch since the honeymoon ended.
I can definitely sympathize. That's basically what cause the current estrangement in my own marriage, only we've been married for 35 years, the first 20 of which were great. :eek:

Bored, lonely...not much difference, really. Either know what triggers boredom, and stay miles away from it, or develop some zenish attitude towards it and learn to like it. Unharnessed boredom is teh evil!
I've seldom been bored in my life, but lonliness has dogged my footsteps from time to time. It's just that this time, it seems to have set in for a long stay. :(

Maybe now you can, at least a bit, understand where I was coming from a while ago, when I made a thread about my depression?
Oh yes. I could understand it then, and even moreso now. :fluffle:

amy thinks you're a thorughly decent bloke too *nods* :fluffle:
Amy's a sweetheart. Son, you best grab hold'a dat 'n hang on fo all u worth! :D

[Answer]
It is Summer and you havent been out on your Bicycle perving at all the hotties.
Man, if u think I'm gettin' on dat t'ing again after what it did to me last time I rode it, you got another think comin'! That thing's goin' on tha auction block! Heh!

I can't afford another broken bone, so I'm trying to eliminate as many possible sources as possible.

I am sorry to see that you are feeling down Eut. I send you a great big smiley hug from England. :fluffle:

As to being lonely, I totally understand what that feels like, and it can take many forms. I was a fairly lonely child, I was the only surviving child of older parents (my Mum was 40 and my Dad 41 when I was born) they ran a residential home for the elderly and so I grew up surrounded by old people. I lived in a huge old house, and it was outside the small village where I went to school, people mainly thought 1 of 2 things about me...1, That I must have loads of money and thus be a snob because I lived in the big house or 2, that I lived in some kind of institution...(I knew one child whose mother used to threaten her with sending her to my house 'the home' as a punishment) As I grew older I made friends and became able to get out and about once I drove, and that helped. But I then got pregnant before almost all of my friends, and that makes you isolated. I was in a miserable marriage, and that makes you feel lonely, my Mum got ill and I found her death hard to deal with etc etc...I guess what I am saying is that many people can be lonely, and being 'alone' is not always the reason.

I find the worse things are not having someone to say 'here look at this' to, or nobody to share a meal with, or nobody to talk to in the middle of the night when you lie awake...a person to share your experience with, a face to speak to, a voice to answer you....all that stuff missing from what otherwise is an active, social and full life can make you lonely. I hope that this feeling passes from you, but don't think that you are odd or being sorry for yourself for feeling this way. You are just human.

Cari, font of wise knowledge and long winded stories.........

:)

I'm not asking for any advice. Got all the advice I can eat, most of it from myself. Guess I just need to vent a little and you guys are the lucky recipients of it! Heh!

I pay no morgage, have no car payments, and have very few debts, most of which will be paid off very soon indeed. I have five grown children and eight grandchildren who love me. I have a dog and two cats, who apparently have great affection for me.

So why am I so lonely? True, I live alone, but so do lots of other people. I have lots of friends on here ( well, at least some really good acquaintances ). I have other online friends I talk with via other venues. I participate in an RP, and most of you are almost painfully aware that I post on here on a regular basis.

So why am I so lonely? WTF, over?

I only feel this a few times a year, thankfully, but the times when I do feel it are intense and highly unpleasant. I'm just coming out of one of those times.

Like I say, I'm not looking for advice, just a few possible answers.


Have you consulted an exorbitantly-priced snakeoil salesman?

(I think they prefer the term 'doctor').


It might sound flippant - but you could be 'sad'. (S.A.D. - Seasonally Affective Disorder) And, a doctor might be able to point you towards some kind of light therapy.

http://www.summertan.com/SADlamps.htm

Something like this ^^^, but you might not have to spend THAT kind of money...

The last couple of days HAVE been kind of 'gray'.

I'm not asking for any advice. Got all the advice I can eat, most of it from myself. Guess I just need to vent a little and you guys are the lucky recipients of it! Heh!

I pay no morgage, have no car payments, and have very few debts, most of which will be paid off very soon indeed. I have five grown children and eight grandchildren who love me. I have a dog and two cats, who apparently have great affection for me.

So why am I so lonely? True, I live alone, but so do lots of other people. I have lots of friends on here ( well, at least some really good acquaintances ). I have other online friends I talk with via other venues. I participate in an RP, and most of you are almost painfully aware that I post on here on a regular basis.

So why am I so lonely? WTF, over?

I only feel this a few times a year, thankfully, but the times when I do feel it are intense and highly unpleasant. I'm just coming out of one of those times.

Like I say, I'm not looking for advice, just a few possible answers.


L = Need for human companionship + lack thereof

To remedy this, there are several things you could do:

1) Go to a church
2) Go to a bar
3) Go to a gym
4) Go to weekend BINGO (hehe) or some other such group game
5) Go to a casino, if one is near
6) Call someone you know
7) Start arbitrarily calling telephone numbers and talking to whomever answers.

hehe

It's probably because you don't live with anybody human. Dogs and cats are great, but I'd go nuts if that was it.

Seems like the destination I'm approaching all too rapidly is the grave. I've always tried to fully live my life, and have by and large succeeded. It's just that now lonliness lurks in the darker corners, waiting to jump out and beat me up just 'cause it can!
Your fear of death is a good thing, in my opinion. It's when one gives up the will to live that's bad. As for loneliness, I think that the human brain requires the physical presence of other people, or one becomes depressed. I have often engaged in social activities for no other reason that I was feeling down and knew that my happiness would increase simply from meeting others in person. Find an excuse to meet other people.

Amy's a sweetheart. Son, you best grab hold'a dat 'n hang on fo all u worth! :D
i fully intend to :D
(and she is! :P)

I am sorry to see that you are feeling down Eut. I send you a great big smiley hug from England. :fluffle:

As to being lonely, I totally understand what that feels like, and it can take many forms. I was a fairly lonely child, I was the only surviving child of older parents (my Mum was 40 and my Dad 41 when I was born) they ran a residential home for the elderly and so I grew up surrounded by old people. I lived in a huge old house, and it was outside the small village where I went to school, people mainly thought 1 of 2 things about me...1, That I must have loads of money and thus be a snob because I lived in the big house or 2, that I lived in some kind of institution...(I knew one child whose mother used to threaten her with sending her to my house 'the home' as a punishment) As I grew older I made friends and became able to get out and about once I drove, and that helped. But I then got pregnant before almost all of my friends, and that makes you isolated. I was in a miserable marriage, and that makes you feel lonely, my Mum got ill and I found her death hard to deal with etc etc...I guess what I am saying is that many people can be lonely, and being 'alone' is not always the reason.

I find the worse things are not having someone to say 'here look at this' to, or nobody to share a meal with, or nobody to talk to in the middle of the night when you lie awake...a person to share your experience with, a face to speak to, a voice to answer you....all that stuff missing from what otherwise is an active, social and full life can make you lonely. I hope that this feeling passes from you, but don't think that you are odd or being sorry for yourself for feeling this way. You are just human.

Cari, font of wise knowledge and long winded stories.........

:)
Thank you, Oh Goddess of Wisdom and Wind! :D

The second paragraph applies very closely to how I feel these days. It's strange, but being able to pay my bills is part of the reason I now have more time to fret about being alone, even though being debt-free will be great. It's good that I have a rather finely tuned sense of irony. ;)

Have you consulted an exorbitantly-priced snakeoil salesman?

(I think they prefer the term 'doctor').


It might sound flippant - but you could be 'sad'. (S.A.D. - Seasonally Affective Disorder) And, a doctor might be able to point you towards some kind of light therapy.

http://www.summertan.com/SADlamps.htm

Something like this ^^^, but you might not have to spend THAT kind of money...

The last couple of days HAVE been kind of 'gray'.
Thanks, but I seriously doubt that's it. The weather hardly ever seems to affect me emotionally since I truly enjoy all the seasons. Worth thinking about though. :)

i fully intend to :D
(and she is! :P)
Good! Don't make me come over there! :D

I'm not asking for any advice. Got all the advice I can eat, most of it from myself. Guess I just need to vent a little and you guys are the lucky recipients of it! Heh!

I pay no morgage, have no car payments, and have very few debts, most of which will be paid off very soon indeed. I have five grown children and eight grandchildren who love me. I have a dog and two cats, who apparently have great affection for me.

So why am I so lonely? True, I live alone, but so do lots of other people. I have lots of friends on here ( well, at least some really good acquaintances ). I have other online friends I talk with via other venues. I participate in an RP, and most of you are almost painfully aware that I post on here on a regular basis.

So why am I so lonely? WTF, over?

I only feel this a few times a year, thankfully, but the times when I do feel it are intense and highly unpleasant. I'm just coming out of one of those times.

Like I say, I'm not looking for advice, just a few possible answers.
I tend to be solar powered. The winter sends me into depression, especially December and January. I spend as much time outside as possible to get as much sun as possible. Cloudy days, especially weeks at a time (like here in Missouri) really send me down.

I put in lights in my house that give full spectrum. That helps but not as good as the sun.

Um ... let's see: 3 lbs of metal holding my right leg together because my 1,000th paracute jump went bad; broken right collarbone and three ribs because of a motorcycling accident; broken left collarbone and nine ribs from a mountain bike accident; missing prostate from tromping through Agent Orange-sprayed jungles during two years in Vietnam; five grown children; eight grandchildren; a life which seemed to alernate between sky-high income and the brink of poverty; two undergrad degrees, one masters degree and hopefully a Ph.D. on the way ... and that's just a brief overview.

Hmm. I suspect it would be fair to say that I'm suffering from an "overabundance" of life, if there is such a thing. :D
No. You had an overabundence of life. Now you have a lack of it. My advice to you: go to a gym, become physically active in "safe" ways (go swimming at a local pool, for example) and try to make friends (good friends, with people you really like, not just somebody to fill the void in you) with people living nearby, so that you can be together often. Try to get into a relationship involving more than sex, too. Generally speaking, try to get to care for somebody and to get that somebody to care for you. Of course, I know that's easier said than done. :(

Edit: I just realised two things: a) you were not asking for advice and b) I sound cold. Well, not asking for advice doesn't mean you're not going to get it anyway. ;) And I'm not a cold person, I just seem that way. Perhaps I'm too direct sometimes.

Amy's a sweetheart. Son, you best grab hold'a dat 'n hang on fo all u worth! :D
:fluffle:
Hehe, he'll have trouble ever getting rid of me! :D