NationStates Jolt Archive

As you may or may not know, I have MAJOR insecurity issues. I can usually ward these off by wearing my giant poofy jacket, which for some reason helps my insecurity issues. My mom decided to throw my giant poofy jacket away. I had to go to school without my giant poofy jacket. Insecurity issues came out. And they struck hard. I almost started bawling my eyes out about ten times during school! Why? Because my mom wouldn't let me wear my giant poofy jacket. I don't know why I'm so insecure, but my mom just had to come along and decide that she wants my insecurity issues to strike me and strike me hard. So right now, I am very emotionally distraught. Any advice?

You're in Fairfield. No one who matters is in Fairfield, you're fine.

Ahhh, regional humor...

You probably need to do something that I don't know to tell you to do, so all I can say is the something bad you're probably not supposed to do, which is find a new security blanket, like a sweater or something. I don't know how you get by wearing a big poofy jacket year round in Fairfield anyway.

Or just start making fun of everyone else in your head. Then they're silly people and what they think doesn't matter, unless you start thinking that they're doing the same thing to you and you spend too much time trying to figure out what it is they're making fun of, which is why you spend that time making fun of them, so it never comes up.

What you really really should do is not take any of my advice...

Mentally insult everyone until you feel superior to them all. But keep enough sense to realise that telling them that is a very bad idea.

I sort of know how you feel. I feel a need to wear shirts that are several sizes to big, and I think I would panic if my ears were showing. Don't worry, I used to cry a lot in middle school. But I think its better in high school than in middle school. At least, it is for me. Just don't worry about it.
Or if that doesn't work, get a new poofy jacket.

Or if that doesn't work, get a new poofy jacket.
They don't start selling them again until late September.

Was your poofy jacket getting old or worn through? Was it beyond-washable dirty with stains? Your mother might well have had a reason for throwing it out. Perhaps it's as simple as her believing that you should be outgrowing security blankets.

I personally recommend looking around and seeing if there's anything else that strikes the same mood in you that your poofy jacket struck. Perhaps something as simple as a little necklace, or a charm on a bracelet, you know what I mean? I know that you can't 'force' something to become a security item, but see if you can't find something perhaps less objectionable or less noticeable that you can use. Heck, you could even make yourself something with practice. A little piece of wood, something to chisel/carve out some message or design in it, and you can make something that will remind you that you are secure just by looking at it. Make a hole in either end of the wood, sand it so it's smooth enough to wear and has a curve on the back, and attach it to a piece of string, wear it around your wrist or ankle. Neck isn't visible to you, and you want to be able to see it, to know it's there, to reassure you.

Then again, maybe I'm only as reliable as CTOAN, there. It's really up to you, what you do.

They don't start selling them again until late September.
Find an outlet or surplus store that has all the old winter stock. There's a mall for it in Folsom if you're up for a really long drive...

Uh... I think maybe your mum was trying drop you a hint or do you a favour. Kinda like how mummy birds push they chicks out of the nest when they get fed up with them. Most learn to fly pretty damn fast.

I think the thing you have to remember from this that whilst you wanted your jacket, you didn't actually _need_ it. You didn't start bawling your eyes out, but kept going instead. You made it through the day all by yourself with no support from som insignificant green poofy jacket.

Uh... I think maybe your mum was trying drop you a hint or do you a favour. Kinda like how mummy birds push they chicks out of the nest when they get fed up with them. Most learn to fly pretty damn fast.

I think the thing you have to remember from this that whilst you wanted your jacket, you didn't actually _need_ it. You didn't start bawling your eyes out, but kept going instead. You made it through the day all by yourself with no support from som insignificant green poofy jacket.
It's black and gray. And did I tell you about me during lunch? The bathroom is a GREAT place to cry, as no one ever comes in there! I do need it, other wise I become emotionally distressed and distraught. If not that jacket, then something equally large and poofy.

As you may or may not know, I have MAJOR insecurity issues. I can usually ward these off by wearing my giant poofy jacket, which for some reason helps my insecurity issues. My mom decided to throw my giant poofy jacket away. I had to go to school without my giant poofy jacket. Insecurity issues came out. And they struck hard. I almost started bawling my eyes out about ten times during school! Why? Because my mom wouldn't let me wear my giant poofy jacket. I don't know why I'm so insecure, but my mom just had to come along and decide that she wants my insecurity issues to strike me and strike me hard. So right now, I am very emotionally distraught. Any advice?
get councelling?

i don't know. i'm generally quite insecure about things but i get round it by being aggressive and defensive towards those that cause me to feel that way. then there's the social anxiety, but there's not much i can do about that.
i guess i dont have any real advise other than seek real help if its that much of an issue. either that or become an asshole like the rest of us...

It's black and gray. And did I tell you about me during lunch? The bathroom is a GREAT place to cry, as no one ever comes in there! I do need it, other wise I become emotionally distressed and distraught. If not that jacket, then something equally large and poofy.Seriously, that is a problem. You need to start building up your self-confidence and self-reliance.

I don't mean the crying, there's nothing wrong with crying, but feeling you can't cope without an object is.

I recomend you do your best to keep and going and TALK to someone if you haven't already, especially your mum.

Sounds like what you might benefit from is a discussion with a trained counsellor as to why you need the security of a poofy jacket. Your time might well be better spent in figuring out how to get along without it rather than how to replace it?

Getting out of our comfort zones is a part of growing up. It is a big, scary world, certainly, but if you can hold it together for half the day and only cry in the bathroom today, perhaps tomorrow you can hold it together for the whole day and only cry when you get back home, and the next day hold it together even longer... hopefully eventually you may not need to cry about it at all, but find you are actually enjoying it.

We all have to let go of our security blankets some time. This may be your time. Good luck.

Uh... I think maybe your mum was trying drop you a hint or do you a favour. Kinda like how mummy birds push they chicks out of the nest when they get fed up with them. Most learn to fly pretty damn fast.

I think the thing you have to remember from this that whilst you wanted your jacket, you didn't actually _need_ it. You didn't start bawling your eyes out, but kept going instead. You made it through the day all by yourself with no support from som insignificant green poofy jacket.
I remember one year there were loads of dead baby birds in my back garden, every morning there'd be 3-5 there. I always wondered what it was, I guess it was their mothers.

Seriously, that is a problem. You need to start building up your self-confidence and self-reliance.

I don't mean the crying, there's nothing wrong with crying, but feeling you can't cope without an object is.

I recomend you do your best to keep and going and TALK to someone if you haven't already, especially your mum.
I am very self-reliant. In school/home/etc. I don't need anybody to help me out with anything. My self-confinence, on the other hand, is a little low. Concerning the fact that I consider my self to be pathetic, worthless, etc. And it's all true. I am physically weak, mentally weak, even my personality repulses everyone. Why have confidence in something so low and worthless? It isn't logical.

Uh... I think maybe your mum was trying drop you a hint or do you a favour. Kinda like how mummy birds push they chicks out of the nest when they get fed up with them. Most learn to fly pretty damn fast.

I think the thing you have to remember from this that whilst you wanted your jacket, you didn't actually _need_ it. You didn't start bawling your eyes out, but kept going instead. You made it through the day all by yourself with no support from som insignificant green poofy jacket.
this is pretty close to the truth too i think...

emphasis mine. it may be hard but its probably for the best...

We all have to let go of our security blankets some time.
But it's a jacket! I should be actively wearing it anyways!

But it's a jacket! I should be actively wearing it anyways!
Why? Isn't it pretty warm in most parts of California?

But it's a jacket! I should be actively wearing it anyways!


Come on, you know what I meant.

Metaphorical security blanket. You are old enough to learn to rely on yourself, not to depend on some external object for your self worth.

If you believe yourself to be worthless, it quickly becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. So stop that. There must be something about you that is worthwhile. We here have no way of knowing about the physical, but you are not mentally weak... you converse here just fine and hold your own. We may not all agree with you all the time, but that is not weakness, that is just a difference of opinion.

As to your personality... well, that may be something you feel you need to deal with, but really, did some old coat make your personality better? Or for that matter make you smarter or better looking? No. So why did you feel better when wearing it? That is what you need to find out, and see how you can incorporate that feeling into your life.

You're in Fairfield. No one who matters is in Fairfield, you're fine.

Hey...I spent the first 3 years of my life in Fairfield, CA...

...Until one day my parents looked around the city and went "wtf..." and we moved down here to Southern California. Good times in that place...

I loved how they put a gas station right on the freeway entrance ramp thingie. I always adored that. It was an Arco.

I am very self-reliant. In school/home/etc. I don't need anybody to help me out with anything. My self-confinence, on the other hand, is a little low. Concerning the fact that I consider my self to be pathetic, worthless, etc. And it's all true. I am physically weak, mentally weak, even my personality repulses everyone. Why have confidence in something so low and worthless? It isn't logical.Just from reading your posts you seem to have a nice enough personality. I can't comment on the rest. Talk your mum about doing something that will help your confidence.

People who have no confidence have every reason to be confident in themselves, they just don't see it.

Why? Isn't it pretty warm in most parts of California?
It's like 60-low 70's in the early mornings.

And plus some of us like to pretend that we're in a colder place.

If it's under 85, a sweater/jacket's just fine...at least for me. For others, it could be triple digits and they're still wearing layers.

As you may or may not know, I have MAJOR insecurity issues. I can usually ward these off by wearing my giant poofy jacket, which for some reason helps my insecurity issues. My mom decided to throw my giant poofy jacket away. I had to go to school without my giant poofy jacket. Insecurity issues came out. And they struck hard. I almost started bawling my eyes out about ten times during school! Why? Because my mom wouldn't let me wear my giant poofy jacket. I don't know why I'm so insecure, but my mom just had to come along and decide that she wants my insecurity issues to strike me and strike me hard. So right now, I am very emotionally distraught. Any advice?


Become vain like I and buy designer jeans and hollister shirts. If you have even the slightest fashion sense, then you'll do fine. ;)

As you may or may not know, I have MAJOR insecurity issues. I can usually ward these off by wearing my giant poofy jacket, which for some reason helps my insecurity issues. My mom decided to throw my giant poofy jacket away. I had to go to school without my giant poofy jacket. Insecurity issues came out. And they struck hard. I almost started bawling my eyes out about ten times during school! Why? Because my mom wouldn't let me wear my giant poofy jacket. I don't know why I'm so insecure, but my mom just had to come along and decide that she wants my insecurity issues to strike me and strike me hard. So right now, I am very emotionally distraught. Any advice?
This cannot be a serious post.

Do a "thought record." Divide a piece of paper into 7 columns. In the first column, write a situation during which you feel insecure. In column two, write the negative thoughts racing through your head at that time (eg: everyone hates me). In column three, write down all the emotions you feel at that time, rating the severity as a percent. Pick the most prominent thought (the "hot thought") and circle it. In column four, write evidence that supports the hot thought. In column five, write down evidence that does NOT support the hot thought. In column six, write down alternative "balanced" thoughts (eg: Most people are more focused on their own problems than on me). In the last column, write down the same emotions as in column two, and re-rate them based on how you now feel.

This cannot be a serious post.
According to your posts so far on NS, it seems to me that you have never suffered any form of mental affliction. Until then, do not criticize those of us who have.

According to your posts so far on NS, it seems to me that you have never suffered any form of mental affliction. Until then, do not criticize those of us who have.
I suffered emotional trauma as a teenager. I just find a post that constantly mentions "giant poofy jacket" difficult to take seriously. But if you are serious, I understand that clothes can help us feel more secure. But the giant poofy jacket is like a drug. It will be better for you to learn how to live well without it than to depend on it to feel secure. Besides, it's much too hot for that sort of jacket in California, isn't it?

As you may or may not know, I have MAJOR insecurity issues. I can usually ward these off by wearing my giant poofy jacket, which for some reason helps my insecurity issues. My mom decided to throw my giant poofy jacket away. I had to go to school without my giant poofy jacket. Insecurity issues came out. And they struck hard. I almost started bawling my eyes out about ten times during school! Why? Because my mom wouldn't let me wear my giant poofy jacket. I don't know why I'm so insecure, but my mom just had to come along and decide that she wants my insecurity issues to strike me and strike me hard. So right now, I am very emotionally distraught. Any advice?

well, i don't know if your insecurity is the result of how people treat you but i know mine is/was at school. the only way i got over that was to stand up to people or laugh their comments off and tell myself i was better than them. i usually went for the second option cuz i was always small and weak at school and didn't fancy a challenge. most people are insecure, at least a little bit, right into their adulthood. some people just hide behind things so you can't tell. i don't know if your wall of diamonds works for you in that way but i always hide mine behind playing the fool - making people laugh makes me feel good. at the same time, letting yourself be liked is also an important step towards ameliorating your insecurity so the wall of diamonds thing might not be a great idea. because if you let yourself be liked you will find that some great people can start liking you, and that makes you feel good too :D

Meh...I have major body insecurity issues. I quite like my personality and all, just I absolutely bloody hate my body.

Everybody has their own problems, you know? No need to get so wrapped up in your own. As much as I have problems, I do my best not to dwell on them.

Well what can I say, You're American, you should have insecurity issues, you need these issues, But rest assured most of your population are insecure and only rightly so, I suggest you get another big jacket peferably kevlar lined, See your doctor, get psychiatric assistance,obtain one free on the State.
America needs a BIG security jacket just a pity it isn't white and have straps at the back.

I have no idea dude. I had a rare bout of insecurity today. Apparently this chick my husband "dated" in highschool emailed him yesterday and he told me about it and I was fine (as a sane person should be), he bcc'd me on the emails (I suppose to cover his ass) and I was fine. They were the basic "what you been up to?", and "did you hear so and so got married to so and so?" type of thing, nothing big.

Then tonight he tells me that she emailed him and wanted him to call her :eek: I freaked out, for no reason, I have no clue why. She is married, he is married (obviously to me) and I trust him, but there is something fishy.... I don't know how much is hormones and how much is intuition, but hey, I gotta go talk to hubby about it before my mind gets the better of me and I yell at him and he has no clue why.

Do a "thought record." Divide a piece of paper into 7 columns. In the first column, write a situation during which you feel insecure. In column two, write the negative thoughts racing through your head at that time (eg: everyone hates me). In column three, write down all the emotions you feel at that time, rating the severity as a percent. Pick the most prominent thought (the "hot thought") and circle it. In column four, write evidence that supports the hot thought. In column five, write down evidence that does NOT support the hot thought. In column six, write down alternative "balanced" thoughts (eg: Most people are more focused on their own problems than on me). In the last column, write down the same emotions as in column two, and re-rate them based on how you now feel.

...Errrm...Voice of experience are we? Meh, I've a vague idea of how he feels...It's hoodies year round for me...

...Errrm...Voice of experience are we? Meh, I've a vague idea of how he feels...It's hoodies year round for me...
yeah, I seem to remember having to have my backpack. It wasn't so much the fact that I needed a backpack, but that I had to have that backpack. I still have it, and when my hubby started college again he asked to borrow it, and I almost said no....

although I was uncomfortable the 2 weeks he had it, he has his own now... and life is calm again.

yeah, I seem to remember having to have my backpack. It wasn't so much the fact that I needed a backpack, but that I had to have that backpack. I still have it, and when my hubby started college again he asked to borrow it, and I almost said no....

although I was uncomfortable the 2 weeks he had it, he has his own now... and life is calm again.

Huh, my 'story' is kinda similar,

When I started high school last year it was the first time I had to wear my bag for such long periods of time. When I took it off my back felt like something was wrong, like I was being watched or something... its getting better now but it still happens. As such though I feel free when I take it off and really light.

I'm not going to pretend i know what it's like to need some sort of security blanket or something, because i don't. The only times i ever felt like i needed something like that was when i was little, and i lost or left behind a stuffed animal, and that only happened a couple of times. I think we all know though what it's like to be insecure, especially in high school and middle school. Most people grow into their skin and learn to accept themselves as they are. Certainly some insecurity is worse than others, if being without a coat causes that much stress, obviously it's a big deal, but even that can be overcome. You will learn to adjust without that jacket, because there really is no other choice. Even if you get it back, it's just a crutch you will eventually have to learn to live with that. You may get a job one day that requires you to dress in a certain way and you won't be able to just hide behind that coat.

In my choir this year, we had to wear dresses that made me feel insecure. During my first concert choir this year, I wore a huge jacket over it until I had to go onstage. When I took it off and got on stage, I was horrified, but the show had to go on, and it did. The second concert, I didn't wear the jacket, and I felt nauseous and I cried when I got offstage. I felt like everyone was laughing at me. The third and fourth time, however, I didn't bring the jacket, and I was just fine!
Hope this helps...

I used to sweat lots at school and got uber insecure about that. It sorta became less of an issue as I got older and I discovered better deodorant heh.
Anyway, as for your issue.. I dunno.