NationStates Jolt Archive

A friend of mine who works at a US Air Force base forwarded this email along to me. It was sent out to all personnel on the base. Forgive the way it's broken up, but that's the way I received it, and I'm too lazy to fix it. :p Names have been edited out, though.

> Subject: How to report a clogged toilet....
>
>
> Here's a friendly reminder from me - your Facility Manager...
>
> Step One - you need to email me or call me (or Major M____) with the
> location of the clog
>
> (please do not state that a toilet is clogged in the restroom - you
> need to identify WHICH restroom - we have over a dozen multistall
> restrooms
> - half of them ladies, half of them mens - I do not frequent the men's
> room, I do not believe Major M____ frequents the ladies room)
>
>
> Step Two - this is very important - please do not ASSUME someone else
> has
> already reported it - I would rather have 185 reports on one single
> toilet
> clog location, than, as today, find out that for the past 2 weeks there
> have been multiple clogged toilets in several different restrooms and
> not
> one person reported that to me. Personally, I find this rather gross.
>
> Step Three - you can help prevent future clogs if you remember a few
> simple
> suggestions:
>
>
> - DO NOT throw non-toilet paper items in the toilet - today
> there
> were 4 out of 7 clogs cleared that were from PAPER TOWELS
> (we have additional trash barrels on order to give you more
> places to put paper towels - please bear with us?)
>
> - please remember - NONE of the toilets are equipped with auto
> flush - don't walk away without flushing
>
> - If it doesn't ALL go down on the first flush - don't worry!
> IT'S
> OKAY TO FLUSH AGAIN! Really - go ahead - have fun with it.
>
> - if you reach the end of the toilet paper roll - please do
> NOT use
> the cardboard roll (this accounted for 2 of the 7 clogs today)
>
> - Please dispose of your lunch in a trash barrel (this
> accounted
> for 1 of the 7 clogs today - an empty yogurt container and banana)
>
>
>
> FYI on the broken toilet paper dispenser situation in Phase Two -
> D____ is
> awaiting delivery from the Goodwill supplier of 18 toilet paper
> dispensers
> to replace defective units with - please be patient - and I would
> recommend
> before using a stall - check the paper supply first to ensure there is
> something there to use - and please remember - as noted above - do not
> use
> paper towel or the cardboard inserts?
>
> Thank you all for your enduring patience - stay tuned for other
> informative
> emails - and if you have any questions at all, on any facilities topic,
> please do not hesitate to email myself or Major M____ and we will
> answer
> as best we can.

OH



MY



GOD!!



Thats funny stuff. YOu think that Military personell would learn to report stuff like this...lol

That's gotta....stink. :p

Edit: Oh yeah, and this is a pun.

And wiping your ass with the cardboard toilet-paper roll? :eek:

And wiping your ass with the cardboard toilet-paper roll? :eek:
You do what you have to do to get the job done. it doesn't hurt as much as it sounds.

And wiping your ass with the cardboard toilet-paper roll? :eek:

I've done it a few times. It actually gets a lot of it off.

To both of you: EW! :p

Poll added! :D

Only four votes in the poll? I'm disappointed in you, NS General. :p

Has FEMA been notified? I'm wondering what Scott McClellan will have to say about this. The Bush Admin fails at everything. First they blow the response to Katrina, now we have a cloged toilet at a USAF base and the president is MIA as usual.

And wiping your ass with the cardboard toilet-paper roll? :eek:
Ever have the guy in the next stall ask if you have change for a five? :D

This reminds of something one of my high school classmates always said:"'Military Intelligence' is the world's biggest oxymoron.":headbang:

Wtf @ the banana and yogurt cup?

Who eats in the bathroom, let alone in a public bathroom.

Ever have the guy in the next stall ask if you have change for a five? :D
I needed to wipe my ass once so I asked the guy in the next stall for some paper and he said all he had was a dollar. He handed me four quarters under the stall. :(

Somebody flushed a container of yogurt and a banana? Are some people just not familiar with flush toilets and what can and cannot be disposed of in one? Do some people just come from places where flush toilets are that uncommon?

I needed to wipe my ass once so I asked the guy in the next stall for some paper and he said all he had was a dollar. He handed me four quarters under the stall. :(
LOL! Man, you hang out where the dementoids hang out! Heh!

I've done it a few times. It actually gets a lot of it off.
Not as much as an old dried corn cob I'd imagine. The textured surface probably scrapes off alot of clinging fecal matter. In fact, corn cobs, because they can be washed and reused, and because you don't have to use woodpulp to make them are probably an environmentally friendly alternative to toilet paper. Some crazy environmentalist group should seriously advance this as an option.

Not as much as an old dried corn cob I'd imagine. The textured surface probably scrapes off alot of clinging fecal matter. In fact, corn cobs, because they can be washed and reused, and because you don't have to use woodpulp to make them are probably an environmentally friendly alternative to toilet paper. Some crazy environmentalist group should seriously advance this as an option.

Guess I'll have to wait until I have corn-on-the-cob again in order to try that. :D

Has FEMA been notified? I'm wondering what Scott McClellan will have to say about this. The Bush Admin fails at everything. First they blow the response to Katrina, now we have a cloged toilet at a USAF base and the president is MIA as usual.

LOL

I'm wondering what Scott McClellan will have to say about this.

Probably very little. He's not the press secretary anymore. You fail at current events.

:D :eek:

I'm the only person to vote "I'd use my hand".

*Ducks to avoid the incoming bars of soap*

Wtf @ the banana and yogurt cup?

Who eats in the bathroom, let alone in a public bathroom.

Yeah, there's no way I'd be eating my lunch where someone has just done a shit.

Not as much as an old dried corn cob I'd imagine. The textured surface probably scrapes off alot of clinging fecal matter. In fact, corn cobs, because they can be washed and reused, and because you don't have to use woodpulp to make them are probably an environmentally friendly alternative to toilet paper. Some crazy environmentalist group should seriously advance this as an option.
I'm onto your little scheme.
You want an even better reason to say "cornhole" and sound like an authority!

I'm the only person to vote "I'd use my hand".

*Ducks to avoid the incoming bars of soap*

http://www.tv-series-on-dvd.com/cover/soap-3.jpg