NationStates Jolt Archive

I was looking at something today that I thought would be funny if I put on my door. I still think it might be, but I also can see how it might be a 'deal breaker' for a chick (though calling her a 'chick' might be to, but whatever...add it to the list) if she got that far. Do you think this on a dudes door would be a deal breaker? (It's a real movie):
http://www.movieposter.com/posters/archive/main/19/b70-9839

Beyond the initial question (which is obviously just a thin guise to share that poster), what do you think would be a deal breaker between you and the person you might otherwise have dated or 'done the do' with...?

A Smurf collection is a step too far in my book.

Plot outline sounds pretty good, so why not? After all, it could be called "a classic"!

If that poster were in a non-conspicuous place, you may get away with it. But on the door? No. You might as well have a condom decorated xmas tree.

A Smurf collection is a step too far in my book.
I don't know, there might be a bell curve thing. A lot of Smurfs, natures way of saying 'stay away.' A complete collection, I might be back on board...

If that poster were in a non-conspicuous place, you may get away with it. But on the door? No. You might as well have a condom decorated xmas tree.
Those are a turnoff? Oops.

I would think that poster is cool because i love Humphrey Bogart, then if i was thinking clearly and i got the innuendo, i would find it funny.

The deal breaker for me is ignorance, bigotry, hatred, religious fundamentalism, stuff like that. Not many likes or dislikes would be deal breakers, unless those likes include things like murder or rape or unless he prefers men.

If the chick cuts herself.

If that poster were in a non-conspicuous place, you may get away with it. But on the door? No. You might as well have a condom decorated xmas tree.
How 'bout a tree made of condoms?








No, no...probably not...

How 'bout a tree made of condoms?








No, no...probably not...

I dunno, if you had enough of them that could work... and you'd always have one availiable!

A unicorn collection. Not sure why it's just unicorns specifically, but it just screams "out of touch with reality" a little too much for my comfort.

do girls get turned off if a guy has posters of...well...scantily clad women on his wall? i mean, its a dorm room, what else would a guy hang on the wall?

do girls get turned off if a guy has posters of...well...scantily clad women on his wall? i mean, its a dorm room, what else would a guy hang on the wall?

Cars, booze, bands, movies, sports.

Cars, booze, bands, movies, sports.

buy surely "girls" would be high on the list though?

Deal breakers? I only have one: monotony. Once I start getting bored with you, there's no way you're sticking around.

do girls get turned off if a guy has posters of...well...scantily clad women on his wall? i mean, its a dorm room, what else would a guy hang on the wall?
I never have, but my guy friends claim that's unusual. I tend to make comments like "she's hot, but that's a bad picture of her" or "that's a cute swimsuit, I wonder if I can get that at the mall?" :p

buy surely "girls" would be high on the list though?

You can get away with one, provided she is a celebrity and 1) not a porn star
2) not in a bikini 3) it is not the size of Honda Civic. If she is an athelete, lead singer of a band, or in a movie poster that helps too.

A unicorn collection. Not sure why it's just unicorns specifically, but it just screams "out of touch with reality" a little too much for my comfort.
I'm sorry, you've cued an off topic rant...

You know why it's just unicorns? Because you know, deep down inside, a fundimental truth that I, too, know. Unicorns would be bastards.

Think about it, you know it to be true.

Take some animals that do exist that we would think would be all "magical" if they didn't.

Peacocks. All those colors in that big fan, they exist and they're all over fantasy paintings like the ones unicorns populate. And what are they?

Total bastards.

Mean fucking birds, ask any kid who grew up next to a park that thought it'd be a good idea to have a few of these avian assholes roaming about. They'll tell you what fucking bastards peacocks are. I did, and I tell ya...

Total bastards.

Pandas. Big gorilla teddy bear creatures, looks like they wanna hug...

Mean motherfuckers.

Total Bastards.

Koalas, Kangaroos.

Total bastards.

Platypus? Bastard and poisonous.

It stands to reason that unicorns would be total bastards. They have that horn for a reason...

buy surely "girls" would be high on the list though?

Yes. I am just showing how you could have many typical "guy" posters on your walls and not run the risk of making a girl think you're a pig.

You can get away with one, provided she is a celebrity and 1) not a porn star
2) not in a bikini 3) it is not the size of Honda Civic. If she is an athelete, lead singer of a band, or in a movie poster that helps too.

well i only have one. this one : http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/315/37399ma.jpg

so, can i get away with that or should it be removed? :p

do girls get turned off if a guy has posters of...well...scantily clad women on his wall? i mean, its a dorm room, what else would a guy hang on the wall?
depends on the girl. many girls are extremely turned off by the objectification of women, some dislike that your preferences are clearly on display and they cant possibly measure up, some dont give a damn.

i'd remove the nekkid spread-eagle pics from the wall though. that just makes you look like a perv. (not that it means you ARE a perv, it just makes you look that way)

It stands to reason that unicorns would be total bastards. They have that horn for a reason...
magic? :p

well i only have one. this one : http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/315/37399ma.jpg

so, can i get away with that or should it be removed? :p
Looks safe to me, but then I've never understood it when girls start calling guys sexist pigs for having those kinds of posters on their walls. I really don't get what the big deal is. So perhaps you should get someone else's opinion.

Posters of other women don't bother me, not when i know they are girls he will most likely never be able to get. Even if a guy is in a relationship with me, i wouldn't expect him to just stop looking at attractive women, i wouldn't stop looking at attractive men. Now, if he had a bunch of pictures of his ex-girlfriend all over his room, that would be weird. Even if they are still friends, too many would be overkill.

Posters of other women don't bother me, not when i know they are girls he will most likely never be able to get. Even if a guy is in a relationship with me, i wouldn't expect him to just stop looking at attractive women, i wouldn't stop looking at attractive men. Now, if he had a bunch of pictures of his ex-girlfriend all over his room, that would be weird. Even if they are still friends, too many would be overkill.
How about a wig of her hairstyle that he keeps trying to get you to wear?

deal breaker for me is ignorance, bigotry, hatred, religious fundamentalism, stuff like that. Not many likes or dislikes would be deal breakers, unless those likes include things like murder or rape or unless he prefers men.
Seconded. I would also add to fundamentalism any religious beliefs that are wonky, cultish, anachronistic or otherwise out of the mainstream.

Any kind of extreme fangirlism is a big turn-off as well, maybe not a deal-breaker but pretty damn close, especially if she's out of control. In fact I would say addiction in general is bordering on deal-breaker status.

My deal breakers:

- hitting/physically abusing me or other people (fighting among other guys would be a red flag but not a deal breaker)
- verbally abusing me or other people (verbally abusing strangers or people who make him mad is a red flag)
- drug addiction/alcoholism (getting treatment immediately and not doing it ever again would reduce it to red flag status, although it is really more of a huge, flaming red flag)
- smoking or chewing tobacco products (pot on a regular basis is a red flag)
- hating dogs, hands down
- being pretty religious, hands down

There's more bad stuff I look out for but those are the deal breakers.

LOL...yeah, that would be a little too weird for me. Role playing is fine, if he wanted me to dress up like a french maid or something, that could be fun, or even like Princess Leia or Wonder Woman or something. Asking me to wear a wig to look like an ex-girlfriend though or some specifice real-life woman he is attracted to wouldn't be good.

Looks safe to me, but then I've never understood it when girls start calling guys sexist pigs for having those kinds of posters on their walls. I really don't get what the big deal is. So perhaps you should get someone else's opinion.I have a similar - huge - poster of some horney vampire slut. My girlfriend never had a problem with it, but she & I did once get into a fight with a couple of her girlfriends over it. They couldn't understand why we'd have a big "degrading, sexist" poster on the livingroom wall...

I think it's just people who're uncomfortable with their looks and/or sexuality, but I'm no expert.

Yes, physical, sexual, or emotional abuse would be a deal-breaker too, as well as addictions. I just didn't mention them because they seemed like obvious ones.

I feel bad for people who have addictions, i don't think they are horrible people, but i couldn't be in a relationship with one.

On hubby's and my first date, I found porn in his bathroom, just sitting in the magazine rack like it belonged there, while I was.... in the bathroom (supposed to be fixing my makeup) I looked over some of it, decided it wasn't a problem. However, if it had been really weird porn (like fetish-porn of things that disgust me) or kiddie porn that would have been a deal breaker.

Speaking of fetishes, this guy went into great detail about one of his, that was way too weird for me to understand, on a first date once. I left before the main course arrived, and never talked to him again.

Also, back when I was a vegan, a guy took me out on a date to a steakhouse, sat me in the Angus room (http://www.roadfood.com/photos/6836.jpg) (which in case you wondered is a room with a photo mural of live cows staring at you while you eat) and ordered his steak rare, his exact words were "just run it through a warm room, I want to hear it moo, in fact give me a fork and a knife and head me to the herd"..... yeah, I left before my salad was out on that date.

well i only have one. this one : http://img209.imageshack.us/img209/315/37399ma.jpg

so, can i get away with that or should it be removed? :p

Well, she passes the athlete criteria, and barely passes the wardrobe requirement- although she fails in the recognizability (ie famous) category. I would need a more thorough examination.


However, I am inclined to say no- because the "shorts" appear too skin colored, and the semi-visible camel toe is a big no-no.

Yes, physical, sexual, or emotional abuse would be a deal-breaker too, as well as addictions. I just didn't mention them because they seemed like obvious ones.

I feel bad for people who have addictions, i don't think they are horrible people, but i couldn't be in a relationship with one.

Obvious deal-breakers are still deal-breakers, and I've stumbled across enough guys in the above categories to put it at the front of my radar.

LOL...yeah, that would be a little too weird for me. Role playing is fine, if he wanted me to dress up like a french maid or something, that could be fun, or even like Princess Leia or Wonder Woman or something. ...

...


...



...


I...um...I...whew...it's, uh...haahhh...you see...I'll, I...I'm just going...to, uh, get some water...

very cold water.

However, I am inclined to say no- because the "shorts" appear too skin colored, and the semi-visible camel toe is a big no-no.

damn. hmm, maybe i should just take it down when i bring a girl over...

Obvious deal-breakers are still deal-breakers, and I've stumbled across enough guys in the above categories to put it at the front of my radar.


yeah, this guy got mad at me on a first date once (yeah, I had a lot of first dates) and called me a "stupid fucking bitch", I decided that was a huge red flag and didn't call him back, I didn't actually leave that date early (just most of them after that)

I have often wondered if I married my husband because he didn't creep me out or abuse me in some way on the first date LOL

yeah, this guy got mad at me on a first date once (yeah, I had a lot of first dates) and called me a "stupid fucking bitch", I decided that was a huge red flag and didn't call him back, I didn't actually leave that date early (just most of them after that)

I have often wondered if I married my husband because he didn't creep me out or abuse me in some way on the first date LOL

You know, I wish they were more obvious. I didn't realize things about boyfriends usually until a few months at least had passed. I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop with this relationship and it's been 4 years. Any minute now he'll turn into a raving lunatic and set me on fire or something.

lmao...sorry about that.

I don't think porn is a big deal either, unless as you said, it's kiddie porn or something. The fact is that it doesn't matter how much sex a guy gets from us, he will still want to jerk off sometimes, it has nothing to do with us, some people have a hard time realizing that. I actually read something in Cosmo that said people are having regular sex are more likely to jerk off than those who aren't. I guess it's that theory of the more sex you have the more you want.

You know, I wish they were more obvious. I didn't realize things about boyfriends usually until a few months at least had passed. I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop with this relationship and it's been 4 years. Any minute now he'll turn into a raving lunatic and set me on fire or something.

you know my grandmother said "in a bad relationship you anticipate the next bad thing, in a good one you anticipate sex"

even though it's way oversimplified, I have learned to use that wisdom. If I ever felt afraid, worried, or even slightly freaked out, I bailed and fast.

I am glad to say I have nothing to fear in my current relationship, even if he gets really really really mad at me (and he has) he pretty much goes to his room for a while and comes back to talk to me when he isn't going to be an ass. He has never called me a name, never scared me, never threatened me, never yelled at me. Although once he did say "I am really frustrated right now, I love you, but you frustrate me" and I was like "oh, sorry" LOL

I actually read something in Cosmo that said people are having regular sex are more likely to jerk off than those who aren't. I guess it's that theory of the more sex you have the more you want.

So it's like cocaine then.
-The more you get, the more you need.
- makes your heart race.
- afterwards, you either pass out or are wired.
- can be very expensive. :p

My deal-breakers:
- physical/emotional abuse
- cheating (No, I won't go out with you if you have a girlfriend, especially if you break up with her. Why? Because what's to keep you from doing the same thing to me, jackass?)
- intolerance

you know my grandmother said "in a bad relationship you anticipate the next bad thing, in a good one you anticipate sex"

even though it's way oversimplified, I have learned to use that wisdom. If I ever felt afraid, worried, or even slightly freaked out, I bailed and fast.

I am glad to say I have nothing to fear in my current relationship, even if he gets really really really mad at me (and he has) he pretty much goes to his room for a while and comes back to talk to me when he isn't going to be an ass. He has never called me a name, never scared me, never threatened me, never yelled at me. Although once he did say "I am really frustrated right now, I love you, but you frustrate me" and I was like "oh, sorry" LOL
I'm like that and it used to piss my last girlfriend off. I'd get pissed and walk away to cool off and she'd freak out. I'd try to explain that I just didn't want to yell or say something stupid and that 9 times out of 10 if I just cooled it for a second I realise I didn't really have anything to be mad about but she never got it. I don't know if she just thought everytime I did that I wasn't going to come back or she just liked the yelling or what. I just didn't want to be an ass. Not that I wasn't an ass in other ways, just not that one...

Also, back when I was a vegan
Ah, there's another potential deal-breaker. ;) At least the sorts of vegans who are obnoxious around anyone who doesn't likewise subscribe to their eating habits. Course that goes for anyone who thinks that their dietary habits should supercede anyone else's, which I guess could just be chalked up to militancy in general.

I have a similar - huge - poster of some horney vampire slut. My girlfriend never had a problem with it, but she & I did once get into a fight with a couple of her girlfriends over it. They couldn't understand why we'd have a big "degrading, sexist" poster on the livingroom wall...

I think it's just people who're uncomfortable with their looks and/or sexuality, but I'm no expert.

I have a similar poster, she's standing there with her arms crossed, and she's topless, and there's blood trickling down her front. Except it's kind of a menacing poster cause her eyes follow you around...


Anyway, what would be a deal breaker for me?

Smoking, most notably. I could not go out with a smoker. It's disgusting.

Economic conservatism. Too many arguments.

Religious conservatism. Same issue.

Talking like a valley-girl. I hate that shit.

And last but not least, being a horribly unkind, mean, vicious, decietful person.

Cars, booze, bands, movies, sports.

And what about a person who posts maps, timetables, routes and marked locations? :p

I have a similar poster, she's standing there with her arms crossed, and she's topless, and there's blood trickling down her front. Except it's kind of a menacing poster cause her eyes follow you around...I think most people would prefer to be "menaced" by the vamp on the poster I was talking about. Incidentially, the two raving chicks had no problem with the poster of a scantily clad man I've got hanging at my desk. In their own words, it's "different"...Anyway, what would be a deal breaker for me?You and I will never be dating :p

Non-smoker: It's a sad fact that kissing a smoker tastes like shit, if you're not a smoker yourself. I am, and I'd hate having to deal with that.

Economic liberalism: Liberals - by and large - equate anarchy with chaos. Observing the effects of economic liberalism on a daily basis, I've arrived at the unequivocal conclusion that liberals are anarchists. That, of course, wouldn't present a problem if I was a liberal. Unfortunately, I'm a libertarian socialist (which apparently has nothing to do with anarchism).

Religion: I'm too much of an arrogant ass to refrain from driving religious people crazy.

Being a kind, tolerant, non-violent person: I'm insensitive, unreasonable, violent & chuck full of prejudice, and I'd undoubtedly take it out on my lover if s/he wasn't as well.

Holding things back: I'm not psychic. I don't do "hints" and I don't understand them.

Shyness: I know a lot of people want a freak in the bed & something else entirely outside of it. I want someone who'll fuck me on the nearest park bench, drink me under the table, make sailors pale with envy & throw up in the theater - and accept the same behaviour from me.

Fortunately, I've found just the right person :)

Deal breakers for me: Bad hygiene, willful ignorance, intolerance, disrespect, discourtesy, membership in Scientology or other cults, hypocrisy.

willful ignorance, intolerance, disrespect, discourtesy, hypocrisy.I don't get those..

In my experience, everyone are willfully ignorant, intolerant & disrespectful to some degree, and it is likewise my experience that courtesy is the common cover for those failings - which I consider hypocrisy.

I much prefer honesty. At least you know where you stand with that.

The Cross.

It makes me instantly flaccid. :(

However, if it had been really weird porn (like fetish-porn of things that disgust me) or kiddie porn that would have been a deal breaker.


I don't think porn is a big deal either, unless as you said, it's kiddie porn or something.

Why exactly does child porn become a deal breaker? I mean the guy is obviously attracted to you, if this relationship has reached the point of this coming up as a "deal breaker", and the very term indicates that you are attracted to him otherwise. Isn't it a good thing to get such people into healthy adult relationships?

The fact is that it doesn't matter how much sex a guy gets from us, he will still want to jerk off sometimes, it has nothing to do with us, some people have a hard time realizing that. I actually read something in Cosmo that said people are having regular sex are more likely to jerk off than those who aren't. I guess it's that theory of the more sex you have the more you want.
The body of a man having more sex will produce more semen to cover the increased demand. As a result, he will have to ejaculate it that much more often. The male body always produces semen in excess of what it expects to be actuallly used, in order to be better prepared for unexpected increases in female avalibility. Thus, if the body is expecting a great deal of sex, the body will produce a great deal of excess in order to be prepared for unexpected oportunities.

Now, deal breakers for me:

Smoker

Biggoted views

Hypocracy

Uses the phrase, "you know what you did" even once, even if not directed at me. (This is an indicator of the next one.)

Unable to communicate her feelings, demanding I read her mind instead.

snip

Throw it up on the door. If the girl does not like it and breaks off from you then it was not ment to be. I am a firm beleaver in being oneself, so I make no effort to do anything special on dates.


Deal breaker for me? Someone who would not share my lifestyle, pure idiocy, or shares no interests with me.

I'm embarrassed, it took me a couple of seconds to figure that out. And then I laughed. Loudly.

Do you think my mug that says "drink milk" and has a pair of breasts on it counts? I like that mug.

A unicorn collection. Not sure why it's just unicorns specifically, but it just screams "out of touch with reality" a little too much for my comfort.

*snort*

Economic liberalism: Liberals - by and large - equate anarchy with chaos. Observing the effects of economic liberalism on a daily basis, I've arrived at the unequivocal conclusion that liberals are anarchists. That, of course, wouldn't present a problem if I was a liberal. Unfortunately, I'm a libertarian socialist (which apparently has nothing to do with anarchism).

Religion: I'm too much of an arrogant ass to refrain from driving religious people crazy.

Being a kind, tolerant, non-violent person: I'm insensitive, unreasonable, violent & chuck full of prejudice, and I'd undoubtedly take it out on my lover if s/he wasn't as well.

Holding things back: I'm not psychic. I don't do "hints" and I don't understand them.


I don't understand your meaning on "Economic Liberalism." By "Economic Conservatism" I was referring to right-wing, capitalism-glorifying economics.

It's not religion I have a problem with, I'm religious myself. It's fundamentalism that I can't stand.

I don't really understand why anyone would want a violent and cruel lover, but whatever floats your boat. Glad you appear to have found someone who works for you.

I'm actually in a relationship with the first female who expressed interest in me (most of the earlier ones had treated me as cruelly as possible, though a few at least attempted to crush me gently), and she's the sweetest person I've ever met. :) Except, she does have at least one prejudice that I don't. I hate it when people smoke, whereas she hates the smokers themselves. :eek:

More things I could never tolerate in a lover:

Bad dental hygiene. That's just gross.

Southern accents. Some people find them attractive, but they just get to me after a while.

Stupidity.

intolerance for different tastes in music and such.

The tagline for that movie, by the way-
. . . a thunderbolt of thrills and intrigue
I love it. I'm gettin' that poster...

To lean a little more to the light hearted intent of the thread...

Office posters might give me pause. You know, posters of wet cats that have the slogan "I hate Mondays," a kitten hanging by one claw with the slogan "Hang in there." Not a deal breaker, per se, but pause. What goes into that decision? What kind of person does that?

I don't understand your meaning on "Economic Liberalism." By "Economic Conservatism" I was referring to right-wing, capitalism-glorifying economics.

It's an American thing. Everywhere else, liberal economics mean just that.

It's an American thing. Everywhere else, liberal economics mean just that.


Oh. Well, it would appear that the poster and I agree on something then.

Getting a guy into kiddie porn into an adult relationship wouldn't necessarily make a difference. There are plenty of child molesters and people into kiddie porn who are in adult relationships, healthy ones, and it doesn't stop them. Besides, even if i did like him, seeing something like that would immediately make him less appealing, and i would constantly worry if he was actually around kids. Maybe that's unfair, but it's how i would feel.

Getting a guy into kiddie porn into an adult relationship wouldn't necessarily make a difference. There are plenty of child molesters and people into kiddie porn who are in adult relationships, healthy ones, and it doesn't stop them. Besides, even if i did like him, seeing something like that would immediately make him less appealing, and i would constantly worry if he was actually around kids. Maybe that's unfair, but it's how i would feel.
same here.

Getting a guy into kiddie porn into an adult relationship wouldn't necessarily make a difference.

I disagree when you say it won't make a difference. It may not in and of itself accomplish miracles, but constant rejection by women in his own age group, can't exactly be good for him. I somehow doubt it'll make him less likely to cross the line.

There are plenty of child molesters and people into kiddie porn who are in adult relationships, healthy ones, and it doesn't stop them.

I presume you mean "doesn't stop them [from molesting children]". If one partner is going out and raping people, in what way can the relationship be defined as healthy?

Besides, even if i did like him, seeing something like that would immediately make him less appealing, and i would constantly worry if he was actually around kids. Maybe that's unfair, but it's how i would feel.
And this right here is why I have to constantly lie to people in real life, especially the ones closest to me. No matter what you say before or after, the initial "I'm a pedophile" forever colors the way people see you. They'll never be able to trust you, no matter how often you prove worthy of trust.

You're right. It isn't fair, but it is how everyone feels.

People talk about how we turn to kids because we can't make a relationship with adults work. They've got it backward. We can't make a relationship with adults work because being attracted to kids puts us in a catch-22 situation.

If we tell our romantic interest about this, the relationship ends for the reasons you stated. If we don't, eventually the stress of keeping a huge secret rots the relationship from the inside out.

You're right, i should have clarified. I meant to say that many pedophiles have healthy sexual relationships with adults, in the sense that they have it regularly and consentually. Obviously it's not healthy in other ways, and i thought of that after i had posted it.

My dad sexually abused my brother when i was a kid, and though we both get along with our dad just fine, and still talk to him regularly, if i ever had kids, which i don't want, i don't know if i could trust him around them. I don't like feeling that way, i mean he's my dad, but it's the truth.

What a bizare and serious turn this thread took from me just coming up with an excuse to share a funny poster I found...

Not that I'm complaining, per se. No thread of mine lasts this long...

People talk about how we turn to kids because we can't make a relationship with adults work. They've got it backward. We can't make a relationship with adults work because being attracted to kids puts us in a catch-22 situation.

I agree. I'm not about to start a relationship with a woman, even though I'm not quite exclusively attracted to girls, because there would be little chance for an honest relationship. In some states, if I told her that I was attracted to girls, she would be committing a felony if she didn't report me to the police. (These laws require anyone who suspects that someone might be abusing a child to report it, and of course in the current environment everyone is expected to suspect all child lovers of abuse - even though over 90% of abusers are not even attracted to children.) That's no way to start a relationship, offering her the choice of betraying me or committing a felony.

If we tell our romantic interest about this, the relationship ends for the reasons you stated. If we don't, eventually the stress of keeping a huge secret rots the relationship from the inside out.

You got that right.

Me, I'm looking to get out of the U.S. as soon as I can swing it. This place is poisonous.


Baldur

breasts!!!!

Ah, just kidding. Little breasts would be OK. I'm on the Itty Bitty Tittie Committee, y'know.

Serious deal-breakers, if I lived in a free country:

- smoking
- addiction to anything more serious than caffeine
- intolerant or troublesome religious beliefs
- stupidity or willful ignorance
- gross obesity
- incompatible political beliefs (a bit of leeway here, but I strongly dislike tyranny)
- excessive make-up or jewelry

On the other hand, things I'd like to see:

- intelligence
- kindness
- sense of humor
- itty bitty titties ;-)
- healthy, but not obsessive, attitudes towards exercise and food
- modesty, but not obsessive, and in the sense of not seeking to draw attention to herself, rather than in the sense of any particular cultural mores


Baldur

You're right, i should have clarified. I meant to say that many pedophiles have healthy sexual relationships with adults, in the sense that they have it regularly and consentually. Obviously it's not healthy in other ways, and i thought of that after i had posted it.

I appreciate the clarification.

My dad sexually abused my brother when i was a kid, and though we both get along with our dad just fine, and still talk to him regularly, if i ever had kids, which i don't want, i don't know if i could trust him around them. I don't like feeling that way, i mean he's my dad, but it's the truth.
I'm sorry to hear about that. If I were you, I wouldn't trust him either. He crossed the line.

It's important to understand that crossing the line and molesting children is not inevidable. (At least I have to believe that.)
What a bizare and serious turn this thread took from me just coming up with an excuse to share a funny poster I found...

Not that I'm complaining, per se. No thread of mine lasts this long...
Glad I could help. (Always good to have the thread poster's approval for a hyjacking.)
I agree. I'm not about to start a relationship with a woman, even though I'm not quite exclusively attracted to girls, because there would be little chance for an honest relationship. In some states, if I told her that I was attracted to girls, she would be committing a felony if she didn't report me to the police. (These laws require anyone who suspects that someone might be abusing a child to report it, and of course in the current environment everyone is expected to suspect all child lovers of abuse - even though over 90% of abusers are not even attracted to children.) That's no way to start a relationship, offering her the choice of betraying me or committing a felony.

No way to start a relationship, and it gets worse as the relationship progresses.

And why do you guys use terms like "child lover"? The word pedophile is defined soely by the presence of a sexual attraction, but the term "child lover" even more strongly brings to mind immages of someone who's crossed the line. I mean, come on.