NationStates Jolt Archive

OK, pet peeve time. Today's rant is entitled: No, You Cannot Have A Cookie.


Example 1: Hetero guys who think they deserve praise (or sex) for holding doors open for women.

Look, I hold doors for anybody who is coming through directly behind me. It's simple manners, and it doesn't require superhuman effort. Holding doors for women doesn't make you superman, it means you're aren't holding doors for 50% of the people you SHOULD be holding them for. Don't brag about the fact that you only hold doors for the gender you are interested in fucking. You will not be awarded a cookie.


Example 2: People who brag about how they didn't even cheat on their girlfriend/boyfriend.

I hear this one a lot, usually right after a break up. "I didn't even cheat on the bitch/bastard! I can't believe she/he would dare to break up with me, when I didn't even cheat!" Dude, you are supposed to be faithful when you are in a monogamous relationship. That's kind of the whole point. You don't get a cookie for not cheating on somebody.


Example 3: Students who think they deserve an A for having studied for a test.

Sometimes you study really really hard, and you still do a shitty job on the exam. Yes, it sucks. Yes, I appreciate that you are frustrated and a bit angry. But no, you do not get an automatic good grade for having studied. You also do not get an automatic A for having shown up for every class. You don't get an A for that one time you participated in that one discussion. You are supposed to go to class, participate, and study for exams. You do not get a cookie.


Anybody else have examples they'd like to share?

I don't hold the door open for anyone who can't do it for themselves.

Everyone should have cookies, no matter how [adjective] they are.

OK, pet peeve time. Today's rant is entitled: No, You Cannot Have A Cookie.


Example 1: Hetero guys who think they deserve praise (or sex) for holding doors open for women.

Look, I hold doors for anybody who is coming through directly behind me. It's simple manners, and it doesn't require superhuman effort. Holding doors for women doesn't make you superman, it means you're aren't holding doors for 50% of the people you SHOULD be holding them for. Don't brag about the fact that you only hold doors for the gender you are interested in fucking. You will not be awarded a cookie.


Example 2: People who brag about how they didn't even cheat on their girlfriend/boyfriend.

I hear this one a lot, usually right after a break up. "I didn't even cheat on the bitch/bastard! I can't believe she/he would dare to break up with me, when I didn't even cheat!" Dude, you are supposed to be faithful when you are in a monogamous relationship. That's kind of the whole point. You don't get a cookie for not cheating on somebody.


Example 3: Students who think they deserve an A for having studied for a test.

Sometimes you study really really hard, and you still do a shitty job on the exam. Yes, it sucks. Yes, I appreciate that you are frustrated and a bit angry. But no, you do not get an automatic good grade for having studied. You also do not get an automatic A for having shown up for every class. You don't get an A for that one time you participated in that one discussion. You are supposed to go to class, participate, and study for exams. You do not get a cookie.


Anybody else have examples they'd like to share?

Oh man you sound more peeved than usual. Is it the undergrads again?

People who enter the subway and then just stand there blocking the door. Maaan! I hate those people. The law should require you to kick them in the groin.

Oh man you sound more peeved than usual. Is it the undergrads again?
I swear, sometimes I really wish that more human parents ate their young.

Here's an exchange I had this morning:

Med student: Hey, I came by to ask you why you marked this question wrong.
Me: Because your answer was incorrect.
Med student: But I wrote like a page and half for it.
Me: Yes, and that page and a half did not contain the correct answer to the question.
Med: But I wrote for like 15 minutes.
Me: Yes, but you didn't not write down the correct answer.
Med: But I wrote a lot.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

No, You Cannot Have A Cookie!

People who enter the subway and then just stand there blocking the door. Maaan! I hate those people. The law should require you to kick them in the groin.
Oooh, or the people who give you a dirty look when you say, "Excuse me, but I need to get off the train, and you are blocking the door." Like you are a horrible person for asking them to move, instead of just shoving them to the ground.

OK, pet peeve time. Today's rant is entitled: No, You Cannot Have A Cookie.


Example 1: Hetero guys who think they deserve praise (or sex) for holding doors open for women.

Look, I hold doors for anybody who is coming through directly behind me. It's simple manners, and it doesn't require superhuman effort. Holding doors for women doesn't make you superman, it means you're aren't holding doors for 50% of the people you SHOULD be holding them for. Don't brag about the fact that you only hold doors for the gender you are interested in fucking. You will not be awarded a cookie.


Example 2: People who brag about how they didn't even cheat on their girlfriend/boyfriend.

I hear this one a lot, usually right after a break up. "I didn't even cheat on the bitch/bastard! I can't believe she/he would dare to break up with me, when I didn't even cheat!" Dude, you are supposed to be faithful when you are in a monogamous relationship. That's kind of the whole point. You don't get a cookie for not cheating on somebody.


Example 3: Students who think they deserve an A for having studied for a test.

Sometimes you study really really hard, and you still do a shitty job on the exam. Yes, it sucks. Yes, I appreciate that you are frustrated and a bit angry. But no, you do not get an automatic good grade for having studied. You also do not get an automatic A for having shown up for every class. You don't get an A for that one time you participated in that one discussion. You are supposed to go to class, participate, and study for exams. You do not get a cookie.


Anybody else have examples they'd like to share?
Um ... women who think that holding a door open for them represents a "sexist act" of some sort? :D

... Med student: But I wrote like a page and half for it. ...
Biggest annoyance ever.

Um ... women who think that holding a door open for them represents a "sexist act" of some sort? :D
I don't think it's "sexist," I think it's simply a sign of laziness, weakness, or rudeness if a man tries to use "chivalry" as a cover for why he won't hold doors for 50% of the humans he encounters.

If a man is coming up behind you with his arms full of parcels, why wouldn't you just hold the door? Does it really require so much effort? If somebody else is passing through the door right behind you, are you really so lazy that you wouldn't put out your hand to hold the door open for the brief moment it takes?

How lazy do you have to be, that you just let a door slap shut in somebody else's face because you can't be bothered to pause for two seconds?

It's not about sexism, to me, it's just about courtesy. Any person, male or female, who feels the need to think up bullshit reasons why they will only hold the door for certain people is putting more effort into being rude than it would take for them to be polite.

OK, pet peeve time. Today's rant is entitled: No, You Cannot Have A Cookie.


Example 1: Hetero guys who think they deserve praise (or sex) for holding doors open for women.

Look, I hold doors for anybody who is coming through directly behind me. It's simple manners, and it doesn't require superhuman effort. Holding doors for women doesn't make you superman, it means you're aren't holding doors for 50% of the people you SHOULD be holding them for. Don't brag about the fact that you only hold doors for the gender you are interested in fucking. You will not be awarded a cookie.


Example 2: People who brag about how they didn't even cheat on their girlfriend/boyfriend.

I hear this one a lot, usually right after a break up. "I didn't even cheat on the bitch/bastard! I can't believe she/he would dare to break up with me, when I didn't even cheat!" Dude, you are supposed to be faithful when you are in a monogamous relationship. That's kind of the whole point. You don't get a cookie for not cheating on somebody.


Example 3: Students who think they deserve an A for having studied for a test.

Sometimes you study really really hard, and you still do a shitty job on the exam. Yes, it sucks. Yes, I appreciate that you are frustrated and a bit angry. But no, you do not get an automatic good grade for having studied. You also do not get an automatic A for having shown up for every class. You don't get an A for that one time you participated in that one discussion. You are supposed to go to class, participate, and study for exams. You do not get a cookie.


Anybody else have examples they'd like to share?
1. I don't hold the door open for anyone.

2. Like I have anyone to cheat on.

3. I study a lot. Then I take the test. Then all the information decides to jump from my ears into nothingness. It does suck. But it happens. It's called "PRESSURE"

Biggest annoyance ever.
Med students seem to think that I will be delighted to read whatever they write for me, regardless of what it has to do with the actual assigned question. As though I really love to spend my free time reading page after page of incorrect answers. :P

Cookies for all!
http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/9339/chocolatechipcookie15rx.jpghttp://img521.imageshack.us/img521/9339/chocolatechipcookie15rx.jpghttp://img521.imageshack.us/img521/9339/chocolatechipcookie15rx.jpg
http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/9339/chocolatechipcookie15rx.jpghttp://img521.imageshack.us/img521/9339/chocolatechipcookie15rx.jpghttp://img521.imageshack.us/img521/9339/chocolatechipcookie15rx.jpg
Well, six people.
Edit: this shows up better if you have images enabled! ;)

I swear, sometimes I really wish that more human parents ate their young.

Here's an exchange I had this morning:

Med student: Hey, I came by to ask you why you marked this question wrong.
Me: Because your answer was incorrect.
Med student: But I wrote like a page and half for it.
Me: Yes, and that page and a half did not contain the correct answer to the question.
Med: But I wrote for like 15 minutes.
Me: Yes, but you didn't not write down the correct answer.
Med: But I wrote a lot.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

No, You Cannot Have A Cookie!

Oh well. They'll grow up into -

Newbie Salesperson: "But I have so much to offer. I help out at charities and play a mean guitar! How can you fire me just because I can't meet the sales target?"

Newbie Sciencetech: "But I was Magna cum Laude! Double-major in Biology and French! How can you fire me just because I am allergic to pipettes?"

Seriously, my pet peeve are people who appear on American Idol and go, like, so-and-so famous popstar can't sing and got into the industry because of their Insider Dad.

I mean, since you DON'T have an Insider Dad, then you jolly-fuckin' MUST sing well to get it! Is that so hard to understand?

1. I don't hold the door open for anyone.

Well, at least you are equal-opportunity lazy. :)


2. Like I have anyone to cheat on.

So that whole not-holding-doors thing is working out really well for you, huh? ;)


3. I study a lot. Then I take the test. Then all the information decides to jump from my ears into nothingness. It does suck. But it happens. It's called "PRESSURE"
I don't automatically have a problem with somebody who fails a test. I have failed exams before, and I know it can happen even when you study really hard and try your best. I know it sucks, and I try to be as helpful as possible to kids who come to me with questions or needing advice.

But I CANNOT STAND the kids who are looking to blame everybody and everything except themselves for their failure. It's okay to admit that you just blew it, or that you have really bad test anxiety, or whatever the problem is. It is not okay to expect that you will be given a good grade because you want it really bad, or to get mad at the TA because they *gasp* hold every student to the same standard for grading purposes.

Oh well. They'll grow up into -

Newbie Salesperson: "But I have so much to offer. I help out at charities and play a mean guitar! How can you fire me just because I can't meet the sales target?"

Newbie Sciencetech: "But I was Magna cum Laude! Double-major in Biology and French! How can you fire me just because I am allergic to pipettes?"

Seriously, my pet peeve are people who appear on American Idol and go, like, so-and-so famous popstar can't sing and got into the industry because of their Insider Dad.

I mean, since you DON'T have an Insider Dad, then you jolly-fuckin' MUST sing well to get it! Is that so hard to understand?

Oh man, those are classics. Add to them:

Newbie Politician: "But, how can the voters have turned on me? How could I get voted out of office just because I snorted coke off of the bills I was supposed to be signing, and replaced my cabinet with underage prostitutes, and had my opponent shot? I blame the media!!"


The American Idol thing is the one that really freaks me out. That show has been on for years now, yet there are still people with no talent who think they're going to catch their big break because "they want it worse than anybody else."

Shops that think because they put a wheelchair ramp they are God's gift to the disabled.

Shops that think because they put a wheelchair ramp they are God's gift to the disabled.
Oh, or offices that consider themselves "handicap-friendly" once they've put braille on the elevator buttons.

I don't think it's "sexist," I think it's simply a sign of laziness, weakness, or rudeness if a man tries to use "chivalry" as a cover for why he won't hold doors for 50% of the humans he encounters.

If a man is coming up behind you with his arms full of parcels, why wouldn't you just hold the door? Does it really require so much effort? If somebody else is passing through the door right behind you, are you really so lazy that you wouldn't put out your hand to hold the door open for the brief moment it takes?

How lazy do you have to be, that you just let a door slap shut in somebody else's face because you can't be bothered to pause for two seconds?

It's not about sexism, to me, it's just about courtesy. Any person, male or female, who feels the need to think up bullshit reasons why they will only hold the door for certain people is putting more effort into being rude than it would take for them to be polite.
( shrug ) I agree. So?

Here's my true pet peeve. People who say they're so much smarter than me (At school), yet when I ask them what's the square root of 144, they take 10 seconds to answer. But then again, it is somewhat fun to see the stupid look on thier face as they contemplate it.

Shops that think because they put a wheelchair ramp they are God's gift to the disabled.
Heh. You ever been to Poland? A wheelchair ramp there is a lump of concrete with a 45 degree slope. I feel rather sorry for disabled people there.

The American Idol thing is the one that really freaks me out. That show has been on for years now, yet there are still people with no talent who think they're going to catch their big break because "they want it worse than anybody else."

I think passion in anything is over-rated. In this super-long game of Life, nothing worth achieving can be reached quickly. Patience and resilience wins any day - being an impatient young man I have to address this challenge everyday.

Here's my true pet peeve. People who say they're so much smarter than me (At school), yet when I ask them what's the square root of 144, they take 10 seconds to answer. But then again, it is somewhat fun to see the stupid look on thier face as they contemplate it.

Great sentence to prove your "smartness". :rolleyes:

... People who say they're so much smarter than me (At school), yet when I ask them what's the square root of 144, they take 10 seconds to answer. ...
Calculaters are a crutch. Nevertheless, your example is not any sort of measure of "inteligence" or "smartness". While they're doing the work in their head, you have memorized the answer, which can happen to anyone.

i'll take a cookie whether i deserve one or not. but i don't think my lust is gods gift to anyone, even my self.

and i don't see what's wrong with holding a door open for anyone, reguardless of gender, their's or mine, if they have their hands full or if it'll slap them in the face if i let go of it.

but i wouldn't EXPECT anyone to do so for me or anyone else otherwise.

and if they made a big production out of doing so like that was doing the world some kind of major favor, yah then i can see how it might be more then a little annoying.

when people act like ANYthing is doing the world a favor, other then the avoidance of causing suffering and harm, yes that bugs me too.

and the reason to do that isn't to expect accolades or sainthood, but simply because it's the same world we all have to live in.

if you really want to do something good because you WANT to do something good, then it's certainly NOT about expecting to be recognized for doing it

=^^=
.../\...

Here's my true pet peeve. People who say they're so much smarter than me (At school), yet when I ask them what's the square root of 144, they take 10 seconds to answer. But then again, it is somewhat fun to see the stupid look on thier face as they contemplate it.
So you assume that the ability to know/perform square roots in one's head is a measure of absolute intelligence?

Are you sure you want to be bragging about that? Because no, in fact, you cannot have a cookie. :)

So you assume that the ability to know/perform square roots in one's head is a measure of absolute intelligence?

Are you sure you want to be bragging about that? Because no, in fact, you cannot have a cookie. :)

What's with the cookie anyway? Does it appear on my Avatar? Or dance on my sig?

I had a milk cookie. It was crunchy.

i'll take a cookie whether i deserve one or not. but i don't think my lust is gods gift to anyone, even my self.

and i don't see what's wrong with holding a door open for anyone, reguardless of gender, their's or mine, if they have their hands full or if it'll slap them in the face if i let go of it.

but i wouldn't EXPECT anyone to do so for me or anyone else otherwise.

I certainly don't get pissy at people who don't hold doors, because (as you say) I don't think I'm entitled to have doors held for me. Just like I don't think I'm entitled to be told "please" or "thank you" or "good morning." I simply think these things are good manners.

What bothers me is when people show basic good manners, and then ruin it by expecting to be thrown a parade for their common courtesy.


and if they made a big production out of doing so like that was doing the world some kind of major favor, yah then i can see how it might be more then a little annoying.

Yeah, that's pretty much my beef.

Umm... Ok then. Actually ask 25% of the people at my school who the first president of the United States was, and they will reply "Abraham Lincoln?"

What's with the cookie anyway? Does it appear on my Avatar? Or dance on my sig?

I had a milk cookie. It was crunchy.
I have this thing where I make up units for various situations.

For example, I measure pain in ninjas. If you were to hurt your arm, I might ask you, "How many ninjas is it?" And you would reply by estimating how many tiny ninjas it feels like are hitting you in the arm. To put this in perspective, my friend measured getting a penile tattoo at 35 tiny ninjas.

Similarly, I measure accolades in "cookies." Winning a Nobel Prize would be worthy of numerous cookies. Washing your hands after you pee is worth no cookies, because you really should do that before you eat the cookies anyhow.

Umm... Ok then. Actually ask 25% of the people at my school who the first president of the United States was, and they will reply "Abraham Lincoln?"
Again with the memorization. I can't name the first secretary of the treasury off the top of my head, but my kid brother can...does that make me dumber than him? I can name all of the amino acids in alphabetical order, and he cannot, so does that make me smarter than him?

... Actually ask 25% of the people at my school who the first president of the United States was, and they will reply "Abraham Lincoln?"
In my opinion, that does not display any inteligence either. Merely common knowledge that has been acquired in some manner, or not.

I swear, sometimes I really wish that more human parents ate their young.

Here's an exchange I had this morning:

Med student: Hey, I came by to ask you why you marked this question wrong.
Me: Because your answer was incorrect.
Med student: But I wrote like a page and half for it.
Me: Yes, and that page and a half did not contain the correct answer to the question.
Med: But I wrote for like 15 minutes.
Me: Yes, but you didn't not write down the correct answer.
Med: But I wrote a lot.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

No, You Cannot Have A Cookie!

This isn't their fault, though. This is the fault of most teachers from K-12 who will give an A to the guy who can bullshit the most. This is a simple fact - I graduated on that thesis, and it works.

You should make it clear to the class that you're not like most teachers, and you won't give credit based entirely upon the amount of bullshit you can write down.

In my opinion, that does not display any inteligence either. Merely common knowledge that has been acquired in some manner, or not.
Riddle them this. A clever man is found thieving from the king. He is sentenced to death. The king, being compassionate, decides to let the man decide how he wants to die. How does the man choose to die? I figured it out in 5 minutes, concerning the fact that I was half-asleep. Even some of the G.A.T.E. students didn't realize it until the teacher said it.

He chose to die of old age

Riddle them this. A clever man is found thieving from the king. He is sentenced to death. The king, being compassionate, decides to let the man decide how he wants to die. How does the man choose to die? I figured it out in 5 minutes, concerning the fact that I was half-asleep. Even some of the G.A.T.E. students didn't realize it until the teacher said it.

He chose to die of old age

Of old age? If that's right then it took me about two minutes.

I have this thing where I make up units for various situations.

For example, I measure pain in ninjas. If you were to hurt your arm, I might ask you, "How many ninjas is it?" And you would reply by estimating how many tiny ninjas it feels like are hitting you in the arm. To put this in perspective, my friend measured getting a penile tattoo at 35 tiny ninjas.

Similarly, I measure accolades in "cookies." Winning a Nobel Prize would be worthy of numerous cookies. Washing your hands after you pee is worth no cookies, because you really should do that before you eat the cookies anyhow.

I had a tongue ulcer two weeks back. I estimate it to be as painful as 50 ninjas. Or 0.00003 Chuck Norrises.

Whoopie! 400+ posts! I've been promoted to Sometimes Deadly! (Two silver bars.)

Of old age? If that's right then it took me about two minutes.
Note the "Half-Asleep" part. It was monday and it was first period.

Note the "Half-Asleep" part. It was monday and it was first period.
Note the "Has to be better than everyone else" part.

Riddle them this. A clever man is found thieving from the king. He is sentenced to death. The king, being compassionate, decides to let the man decide how he wants to die. How does the man choose to die? I figured it out in 5 minutes, concerning the fact that I was half-asleep. Even some of the G.A.T.E. students didn't realize it until the teacher said it.

He chose to die of old age

You don't have to prove your smartness to anyone. This is the Internet. Everyone knows that I am an bisexual anal-probing alien with chocolate tentacles. I don't have to convince anyone.

Oh, or offices that consider themselves "handicap-friendly" once they've put braille on the elevator buttons.

Have you seen the banks with DRIVE UP ATM's (and I mean ones you can't walk to and that are on the driver's side) with braille on them? What the heck is that about???

Note the "Half-Asleep" part. It was monday and it was first period.

Also, you posted the answer in the question. A true sign of intelligence if I ever did see one.

This isn't their fault, though. This is the fault of most teachers from K-12 who will give an A to the guy who can bullshit the most. This is a simple fact - I graduated on that thesis, and it works.

You should make it clear to the class that you're not like most teachers, and you won't give credit based entirely upon the amount of bullshit you can write down.There was an informal study done a couple of years ago about the new essay section of the SAT, and there was a direct correlation between the length of the essays and the grade they received. Having inaccurate information in the essay didn't harm the grade any--in fact, the graders who were surveyed for the article were told that inaccuracy was not to affect the grade. The question for the graders was how well the essay was structured and argued, since it was written on the spot.

Charming, huh?

Also, you posted the answer in the question. A true sign of intelligence if I ever did see one.
Umm... I don't think that says anything...

Umm... I don't think that says anything...

It somewhat invalidates any responses. Not that being able to solve that riddle is a great achievement. :rolleyes:

There was an informal study done a couple of years ago about the new essay section of the SAT, and there was a direct correlation between the length of the essays and the grade they received. Having inaccurate information in the essay didn't harm the grade any--in fact, the graders who were surveyed for the article were told that inaccuracy was not to affect the grade. The question for the graders was how well the essay was structured and argued, since it was written on the spot.

Charming, huh?

Kay, so college is just like high school in that respect.

Kay, so college is just like high school in that respect.
Well, the test that helps you get into college in any respect. My college students find out that the world has changed for them when they get into my composition classes.

This isn't their fault, though. ...
If only it wasn't their fault. Remember "assume"?
... A clever man is found thieving from the king. He is sentenced to death. The king, being compassionate, decides to let the man decide how he wants to die. How does the man choose to die? ...
That's open ended and the answer can vary highly from person to person. Cleary, the most compassionate way to die would be sokotsu-shi. :p
I think it was meant to be for medidation than for flaunting inteligence. Mainly on your teacher's "correct" behalf.

Umm... Ok then. Actually ask 25% of the people at my school who the first president of the United States was, and they will reply "Abraham Lincoln?"Because memorising loads of useless trivia is equivalent to intelligence.
I have this thing where I make up units for various situations.

For example, I measure pain in ninjas. If you were to hurt your arm, I might ask you, "How many ninjas is it?" And you would reply by estimating how many tiny ninjas it feels like are hitting you in the arm. To put this in perspective, my friend measured getting a penile tattoo at 35 tiny ninjas.

Similarly, I measure accolades in "cookies." Winning a Nobel Prize would be worthy of numerous cookies. Washing your hands after you pee is worth no cookies, because you really should do that before you eat the cookies anyhow.
I thought I was the only person to do that kind of thing...

You win two almond-orange mini-tarts with whipped cream. :D

If only it wasn't their fault. Remember "assume"?

That's open ended and the answer can vary highly from person to person. Cleary, the most compassionate way to die would be sokotsu-shi. :p
I think it was meant to be for medidation than for flaunting inteligence. Mainly on your teacher's "correct" behalf.

You're right. What if he was a clever, suicidal man? Huh? Huh?

... Charming, huh?
Absolutely. On my Spanish exam last week, I wrote six padges of grammatically correct Swedish that covered how smashed I got over the weekend. I expect full credit.

There was an informal study done a couple of years ago about the new essay section of the SAT, and there was a direct correlation between the length of the essays and the grade they received. Having inaccurate information in the essay didn't harm the grade any--in fact, the graders who were surveyed for the article were told that inaccuracy was not to affect the grade. The question for the graders was how well the essay was structured and argued, since it was written on the spot.

Charming, huh?
Meh. I could write a factually accurate essay with an appalling argument (not morally appalling, I mean one that's clearly wrong), and I can write an inaccurate essay with a decent argument. Structure and argument are actually just as important to an essay as the accuracy of facts used. Well, maybe not as important, but they certainly are important.

Meh. I could write a factually accurate essay with an appalling argument (not morally appalling, I mean one that's clearly wrong), and I can write an inaccurate essay with a decent argument. Structure and argument are actually just as important to an essay as the accuracy of facts used. Well, maybe not as important, but they certainly are important.

Why not go the whole shabang and write an accurate essay with a decent argument?

But I CANNOT STAND the kids who are looking to blame everybody and everything except themselves for their failure. It's okay to admit that you just blew it, or that you have really bad test anxiety, or whatever the problem is. It is not okay to expect that you will be given a good grade because you want it really bad, or to get mad at the TA because they *gasp* hold every student to the same standard for grading purposes.

Ohhh, I know this feeling very very well. I am known as the Attilia the Hun of grading lab reports. I want the students to do well, but if you give me crap for a lab report, I have to give you crap for a grade, which I have no qualms about. I had a student tell me that he is spending 15 hours a week writing a lab report for a General Chem course. I looked at him and told him from the lab reports he is giving me, it looks more like 15 min. That's when I got called an unsympathtetic %&#$% (word you defeinately shouldn't call your TA.) Needless to say, he dropped the course about two weeks later.

Why not go the whole shabang and write an accurate essay with a decent argument?
Now where's the fun in that? Seriously, I was just pointing out that it's possible to write either essay, and in an exam involving, say, 50 students, you're likely to get a few examples of each.

Ohhh, I know this feeling very very well. I am known as the Attilia the Hun of grading lab reports. I want the students to do well, but if you give me crap for a lab report, I have to give you crap for a grade, which I have no qualms about. I had a student tell me that he is spending 15 hours a week writing a lab report for a General Chem course. I looked at him and told him from the lab reports he is giving me, it looks more like 15 min. That's when I got called an unsympathtetic %&#$% (word you defeinately shouldn't call your TA.) Needless to say, he dropped the course about two weeks later.

Do you get plagiarising students? One of my students lifted an entire paragraph of his lab report from his friend. It's easy to tell who copied who, since that out of place paragraph was referenced properly in his friend's report. There was another out of place para that I don't know originated where.

Would you fail him? I gave him a C or something.

Meh. I could write a factually accurate essay with an appalling argument (not morally appalling, I mean one that's clearly wrong), and I can write an inaccurate essay with a decent argument. Structure and argument are actually just as important to an essay as the accuracy of facts used. Well, maybe not as important, but they certainly are important.

Not to a lot of teachers. Most have assloads of papers to grade, and won't sincerely look through them all for accuracy and all that jazz, mostly just getting the overall feel of the paper itself - the largest influence over that feeling being how long the essay was.

I wrote an essay to my 12th grade english teacher on how much I dislike her and why. I got an A+, she didn't mark any grammatical errors no notes or comments, never talked to me about it, almost as if she'd never actually read the content of the essay itself.

Anybody else have examples they'd like to share?

People who can only identify themselves or others by who they choose to sleep with.

Do you get plagiarising students? One of my students lifted an entire paragraph of his lab report from his friend. It's easy to tell who copied who, since that out of place paragraph was referenced properly in his friend's report. There was another out of place para that I don't know originated where.

Would you fail him? I gave him a C or something.


We used to, but now all lab reports must be submitted to a wesite called Turnitin which checks the internet and every other submitted report (for the last five years or so) and gives you a print out on each paper as to how much of the lab report is like someone else's. Even so, we still have a few who try to "beat the system" and submit lab reports and such that are clearly plagerizied.

I personally would have had to look at how much of the paragraph. If it was one paragraph out of a 10 page paper, well, then I would have given him a C with the understanding that if this ever happens again, it would be an automatic failure of the course. If it was more like a paragraph on a 1 or two page paper, then, well, i probably would have gave him an F on the assignment with the above understanding. It kinda depends on the situation and the person as well. I won't go right to my Prof or the lab cordinator if I catch a kid plagerizing once, you get one free shot in my book, but if it happens again, there is no holds bar.

We used to, but now all lab reports must be submitted to a wesite called Turnitin which checks the internet and every other submitted report (for the last five years or so) and gives you a print out on each paper as to how much of the lab report is like someone else's. Even so, we still have a few who try to "beat the system" and submit lab reports and such that are clearly plagerizied.

I personally would have had to look at how much of the paragraph. If it was one paragraph out of a 10 page paper, well, then I would have given him a C with the understanding that if this ever happens again, it would be an automatic failure of the course. If it was more like a paragraph on a 1 or two page paper, then, well, i probably would have gave him an F on the assignment with the above understanding. It kinda depends on the situation and the person as well. I won't go right to my Prof or the lab cordinator if I catch a kid plagerizing once, you get one free shot in my book, but if it happens again, there is no holds bar.

If it's just one paragraph then maybe it's coincidence. If the two are friends they probably think alike - warn them about what happens IF plagiarism happens, and remind them what an F looks like, but don't jump to conclusions.

If it's just one paragraph then maybe it's coincidence. If the two are friends they probably think alike - warn them about what happens IF plagiarism happens, and remind them what an F looks like, but don't jump to conclusions.

Depends on the wording, things like that. Of course, you always confront the students etc. and give them a slight benefit of the doubt. There are instances where an entire paragraph, word-for-word was lifted in my labs. Now, I know students who are friends do think alike, and we do encourage them to work on the lab reports together when they get stuck, but a blatent attempt to pass off someone elses work...well, like i said, i confront them. and usually when I confront them, they admit to it and then the grade sticks

Depends on the wording, things like that. Of course, you always confront the students etc. and give them a slight benefit of the doubt. There are instances where an entire paragraph, word-for-word was lifted in my labs. Now, I know students who are friends do think alike, and we do encourage them to work on the lab reports together when they get stuck, but a blatent attempt to pass off someone elses work...well, like i said, i confront them. and usually when I confront them, they admit to it and then the grade sticks
Nothing personal, but decisions like that make my life harder. I failed a student this term for plagiarism---not for the paper, for the course--and she now has a notation for academic irregularity on her transcript and she can't get grade forgiveness for the class. That F stays there. In fact, I get to go to a conference with her, the head of the writing program, and the head of the department tomorrow where she's going to plead for mercy--not defend herself against the charges, because they're airtight--just plead for mercy, and there will be none for her. And even though my bosses are going to tell her--diplomatically, no doubt--that there will be no mercy, I'm going to walk out of that conference feeling like a dick for enforcing the policy.

Nothing personal, but decisions like that make my life harder. I failed a student this term for plagiarism---not for the paper, for the course--and she now has a notation for academic irregularity on her transcript and she can't get grade forgiveness for the class. That F stays there. In fact, I get to go to a conference with her, the head of the writing program, and the head of the department tomorrow where she's going to plead for mercy--not defend herself against the charges, because they're airtight--just plead for mercy, and there will be none for her. And even though my bosses are going to tell her--diplomatically, no doubt--that there will be no mercy, I'm going to walk out of that conference feeling like a dick for enforcing the policy.

That sucks.

Nothing personal, but decisions like that make my life harder. I failed a student this term for plagiarism---not for the paper, for the course--and she now has a notation for academic irregularity on her transcript and she can't get grade forgiveness for the class. That F stays there. In fact, I get to go to a conference with her, the head of the writing program, and the head of the department tomorrow where she's going to plead for mercy--not defend herself against the charges, because they're airtight--just plead for mercy, and there will be none for her. And even though my bosses are going to tell her--diplomatically, no doubt--that there will be no mercy, I'm going to walk out of that conference feeling like a dick for enforcing the policy.

Hey, no I completely understand and it sucks sometimes. Trust me I know. I may be coming off like a total hardass when it comes to stuff like this, but I do give them the onetime offer. And, from what it sounds like, if I was in your shoes I would go to the conference with her as well and beg for mercy. Everyone gets one free shot in my book. You screw up once, espicially when it comes to the plagerisim thing, fine. You fail the assignment. Anything after that, though, its fair game. I am sorry about your student, though. It is a tough situation. Let me know how it goes.

Nothing personal, but decisions like that make my life harder. I failed a student this term for plagiarism---not for the paper, for the course--and she now has a notation for academic irregularity on her transcript and she can't get grade forgiveness for the class. That F stays there. In fact, I get to go to a conference with her, the head of the writing program, and the head of the department tomorrow where she's going to plead for mercy--not defend herself against the charges, because they're airtight--just plead for mercy, and there will be none for her. And even though my bosses are going to tell her--diplomatically, no doubt--that there will be no mercy, I'm going to walk out of that conference feeling like a dick for enforcing the policy.

Wait, how did she fail the whole course on a paper? The course weight?

Hey, no I completely understand and it sucks sometimes. Trust me I know. I may be coming off like a total hardass when it comes to stuff like this, but I do give them the onetime offer. And, from what it sounds like, if I was in your shoes I would go to the conference with her as well and beg for mercy. Everyone gets one free shot in my book. You screw up once, espicially when it comes to the plagerisim thing, fine. You fail the assignment. Anything after that, though, its fair game. I am sorry about your student, though. It is a tough situation. Let me know how it goes.
The problem is that once they get to me, there's no way of knowing how many "first chances" they've gotten and gotten away with. I'm a very no-tolerance person when it comes to plagiarism.

Example 1: Hetero guys who think they deserve praise (or sex) for holding doors open for women.

Look, I hold doors for anybody who is coming through directly behind me. It's simple manners, and it doesn't require superhuman effort. Holding doors for women doesn't make you superman, it means you're aren't holding doors for 50% of the people you SHOULD be holding them for. Don't brag about the fact that you only hold doors for the gender you are interested in fucking. You will not be awarded a cookie.



i hold doors open for girls all the time. even teh not so good looking ones. so i DO deserve a cookie...

i hold doors open for girls all the time. even teh not so good looking ones. so i DO deserve a cookie...
Nobody deserves a cookie for holding doors open. Just like you do not deserve a cookie for washing your hands after you pee. You are not owed a cookie for these things.

EDIT: I guess I should correct that slightly. A small child who holds a door open should be given a cookie. This is because children should be educated in much the same way a puppy is educated, and cookies are an effective teaching aid.

People who can only identify themselves or others by who they choose to sleep with.
Well, I was asking more about people's "What do you want, a cookie?!" pet peeves, but that could be one...

For instance, people who think that being heterosexual (or homosexual) means that they deserve a cookie. Liking to have sex does not earn you a cookie, no matter who you like having sex with.

Do you get plagiarising students? One of my students lifted an entire paragraph of his lab report from his friend. It's easy to tell who copied who, since that out of place paragraph was referenced properly in his friend's report. There was another out of place para that I don't know originated where.

Would you fail him? I gave him a C or something.
Plagiarism gets an automatic F at my university. One incident of plagiarism is enough to risk expulsion from school, though sometimes they will be forgiving and you can stay on under probation.

Two instances of plagiarism is automatic expulsion.

Plagiarism gets an automatic F at my university. One incident of plagiarism is enough to risk expulsion from school, though sometimes they will be forgiving and you can stay on under probation.

Two instances of plagiarism is automatic expulsion.

Oooooooh. :eek:

Plagiarism gets an automatic F at my university. One incident of plagiarism is enough to risk expulsion from school, though sometimes they will be forgiving and you can stay on under probation.

Two instances of plagiarism is automatic expulsion.
And that's pretty much SOP for most universities now. Last semester was the first time in 6 years of teaching that I didn't catch anyone, but that was more because of the way I structured my assignments--I didn't give them many opportunities.

And I didn't give them many this term either, but one person took a chance, and she got busted. Sad thing was that she stole her paper from the very same website where I copied the poem she was responding to--I chose the poem precisely because not much had been written about it. Talk about an easy catch.

Example 2: People who brag about how they didn't even cheat on their girlfriend/boyfriend.

I hear this one a lot, usually right after a break up. "I didn't even cheat on the bitch/bastard! I can't believe she/he would dare to break up with me, when I didn't even cheat!" Dude, you are supposed to be faithful when you are in a monogamous relationship. That's kind of the whole point. You don't get a cookie for not cheating on somebody.

A related peeve...I work with some ladies who have awful boyfriends/husbands. They are the worst! Alcoholics, verbal abusers, treat their children like crap, call them names, whatever. These women seem to think that since they treat their men so well in return, they deserve something. (A cookie, perhaps?) All I want to do is say, "So fucking leave, you idiots!" No, no, these women are loyal to the last. You don't get shit for putting up with shit...you only get shit in return. NO COOKIES. JUST SHIT. OKAY?

A related peeve...I work with some ladies who have awful boyfriends/husbands. They are the worst! Alcoholics, verbal abusers, treat their children like crap, call them names, whatever. These women seem to think that since they treat their men so well in return, they deserve something. (A cookie, perhaps?) All I want to do is say, "So fucking leave, you idiots!" No, no, these women are loyal to the last. You don't get shit for putting up with shit...you only get shit in return. NO COOKIES. JUST SHIT. OKAY?
Indeed! You know what's even worse than an asshole who wants a cookie? The woman who is dating or married to the asshole, who asks for cookies on his behalf.

"Well yes, Bob does cheat on me, and it's true that he never spends time with his children or lifts a finger around the house, but he brings home enough money for our kids to eat, so that makes him a GREAT FATHER. He refrains from hitting me in front of the kids, so that makes him a GREAT HUSBAND. Why won't anybody give Bob a cookie?"

Indeed! You know what's even worse than an asshole who wants a cookie? The woman who is dating or married to the asshole, who asks for cookies on his behalf.

"Well yes, Bob does cheat on me, and it's true that he never spends time with his children or lifts a finger around the house, but he brings home enough money for our kids to eat, so that makes him a GREAT FATHER. He refrains from hitting me in front of the kids, so that makes him a GREAT HUSBAND. Why won't anybody give Bob a cookie?"

...or me a cookie, for putting up with him?

Yeah. *sigh*

Because memorising loads of useless trivia is equivalent to intelligence.


Well, yes.

Language is learned through memorization. Language skills indicate intelligence. Same with mathematics.

As for the difference between Lincoln and Washington being "useless trivia." Those who refuse to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. No wonder people outside the US make a laughing stock of our education system. We see our own history as "useless trivia" and don't bother to learn it. Fuck!

It's not exactly who the third minister of defense was. It's not obscure. It's common knowledge. What does it say about someone's intelligence if they are exposed to common knowledge but can not retain it?

...or me a cookie, for putting up with him?

Yeah, I forgot that part.

"I stay in a relationship with a guy who treats me like crap and abuses our kids. Why won't somebody give me a cookie?"

Yeah, I forgot that part.

"I stay in a relationship with a guy who treats me like crap and abuses our kids. Why won't somebody give me a cookie?"

I would give a sympathy cookie. It's not the biggest or bestest cookie in the World. Just a small cookie from my heart.

Pet peeve:

It's 1:30 am and the next-door neighbor is having a loud party. I have to be up at 5:00. So I go over and ask him, politely, to turn the music down. He says it's his music in his house and he'll play it as loudly as he wants. I call the police, who break up the party. Suddenly, I'm the villain.

I would give a sympathy cookie. It's not the biggest or bestest cookie in the World. Just a small cookie from my heart.
I guess I probably would also cave, and give them a pity cookie. But this is because I am weak. :P

If a man is coming up behind you with his arms full of parcels, why wouldn't you just hold the door? Does it really require so much effort?Even if he's not coming up behind me, there's a 50-50 chance I'll go out of my way to hold the door open..
No, no, I don't expect a cookie for it.

Have you seen the banks with DRIVE UP ATM's (and I mean ones you can't walk to and that are on the driver's side) with braille on them? What the heck is that about???It's a standardized panel. It's cheaper to put braille on all ATMs than make a seperate non-braille set.

As for the difference between Lincoln and Washington being "useless trivia." Those who refuse to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
But that means that if you don't know who Lincoln was you're going to get another Lincoln. I can't see that as all bad.

I hate people who give me unsoclicted parenting advice... this week already I have heard

"I would never let my kid talk back to me like that, if I was her parent I would bust her butt until it was black and blue" (when I asked my kid a question and she answered it :rolleyes: )


"I can't believe you let her just join into the conversation like that, it's so rude children are to be seen and not heard" (when we were talking about a movie and my 2 year old said "I didn't like the actor that played the villian, he wasn't very good at it"

"I would never homeschool my kids, they would grow up stupid and unable to fit in the real world" (like my kids aren't out in the "real world" everyday)

I also hate people who say rude or even racist things in front of my children and then bitch at me about "letting them listen to rock music"

We don't tell racist jokes in our house, because they aren't funny. I don't care if you don't like children, it's rude to say that to them. I really don't care if you think that having kids is "putting your life on hold" or "like being grounded for life" I don't want to hear it, and I certainly don't want you saying that crap in front of my kids.

For the record, I love my kids, I love my life. I am not putting anything on hold, I am happy to share my time and love with children who are caring and intelligent people. Yes, they answer questions I ask. Yes, they join in on conversations when they are present (just like adults do :eek:). Yes, they have feelings, needs, preferences, and independent thoughts. My children are homeschooled, they are allowed the freedom to study whatever they want, whenever they want. If they ask me a question about something I will tell them the answer, if I don't know the answer then we find out together. Yes, I spend 24 hours a day with my kids most days, and no it doesn't annoy me or stop me from being myself. If you are arrogant and rude enough to say hurtful things to a child just because you are an asshole, then I won't spend any time with you, period.

[/rant over]

Language is learned through memorization. Language skills indicate intelligence. Same with mathematics. Words and their meanings are learned by memorization, but that doesn't constitute a language. And neither does memorizing symbols and formulas constitute mathematics. The actual 'language skills' aren't learned by memorization, but by practice, by 'doing language'. A dictionary 'knows' quite a few words (easily dozens of times what any one person knows), but it is hardly intelligent; it has absolutely no skill in language.

It's hard to put one's finger on what intelligence really is. But generally at least some form of learning, other than rote memorization, is involved. Finding patterns and rules, generalization, that sort of thing.

It's hard to put one's finger on what intelligence really is. But generally at least some form of learning, other than rote memorization, is involved. Finding patterns and rules, generalization, that sort of thing.

Yeah. Learning. How you can be in public high school and not know the difference between George Washington and Abe Lincoln indicates a lack of learning. So the question is, is that because a) knowledge is "trivia" and not needed, b) that knowledge is somehow unavailable to such people, or c) a failure of intelligence.

If b), well, I can only weep for the future.

If c), I can weep about it but I can also laugh.

I really don't think it's a), and believe that in fact, belief in a) implies c).

Yeah. Learning. How you can be in public high school and not know the difference between George Washington and Abe Lincoln indicates a lack of learning. So the question is, is that because a) knowledge is "trivia" and not needed, b) that knowledge is somehow unavailable to such people, or c) a failure of intelligence.

If b), well, I can only weep for the future.

If c), I can weep about it but I can also laugh.

I really don't think it's a), and believe that in fact, belief in a) implies c).
someonw who doesn't know the difference between Washington and Lincolin may not have much knowledge, but still may be highly intelligent.

again, (maybe I should just put this in my sig.) there is a difference between knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom

you can know a lot, but have no wisdom, you can be wise but not intelligent, and you can be intelligent but not have knowledge or wisdom.

someonw who doesn't know the difference between Washington and Lincolin may not have much knowledge, but still may be highly intelligent.

again, (maybe I should just put this in my sig.) there is a difference between knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom

you can know a lot, but have no wisdom, you can be wise but not intelligent, and you can be intelligent but not have knowledge or wisdom.

Or you can be like me, and have all three! :D

Thinking you're better than someone.. when in fact.. you are a bigger ass than the person you talk shit about.

*shrugs*

Example 1: I hold the door open for everyone, and I expect a Thank You from everyone. I do that for those who hold the door open for me, so I expect the same respect.

Example 2: I don't cheat on my significant other, but I don't brag about it either. Then again, I've never been the person dumped.

Example 3: Most students don't give a bleep about their education, so I don't mind giving hard working people a pat on the back.

Although, the one thing that bothers me the most is the people who generally behave badly and on the few occassions they behave with manners they expect people to be impressed. "I didn't act like a Monkey today, Where is my cookie?"

Um ... women who think that holding a door open for them represents a "sexist act" of some sort? :D

Aye. Nothing worse then being polite and holding the door open so I can get yelled at and called chauvanistic. Excuse me, I'll hold the door open for the Gentleman behind you, he'll appreciate it.

There was an informal study done a couple of years ago about the new essay section of the SAT, and there was a direct correlation between the length of the essays and the grade they received. Having inaccurate information in the essay didn't harm the grade any--in fact, the graders who were surveyed for the article were told that inaccuracy was not to affect the grade. The question for the graders was how well the essay was structured and argued, since it was written on the spot.

Charming, huh?
Charming and completely true. I scored (note the terminology "scored" instead of "graded" -- they beat that into you) essays last year for the company that provides the service in the Seattle area. Pearson Educational Measurement in Auburn, WA. The scale is 1 to 6 with 1 being little or no sentnece structure and a complete absence of any kind of coherent argument, and 6 being ironclad coherency, support for arguments and superior sentence structure.

We were told, in fact, to AVOID thinking about the following:

-- Factual accuracy
-- Spelling
-- Grammar is only one of a subset of factors in the "mechanics" section of the scoring rubric, so we weren't supposed to give it much weight...

So a kid could use a completely inaccurate statement to back up an assertion in the essay, so long as the "fact" supported the point they were trying to make. This part-time, temporary job was one of the most frustrating I ever had in my life. It paid meh ($8-$12/hr. DOE), but it was a nice supplement to the part-time teaching job I had then.

I'm probably prohibited from even mentioning this stuff, but I really don't care. The whole thing is a sham. Here's what else they do:

Every so often the essay you're looking at has been scored by the team of folks who developed the questions and the scoring guide. Your score, ideally, should match theirs if you're doing it right. There's a little counter to the lower left of your screen that tells you your scoring pace (how many per hour), and your accuracy with regard to the pre-scored samples. You get full credit for being spot on, and partial credit for being one score away from the given score. This is how they keep track of your progress. It's really annoying and gets on your nerves because if you haven't had a reference essay in a while, your score will show very low (or in red, as the scores are also color coded to keep you painfully aware of how you're measuring up).

It was a great inside look at the process -- and at the sad state of some sample students across the region (some schools/cities) could be identified from cultural and site references in their essays). We were badged and security screened and we couldn't take our notes with us outside the facility. It all seemed very Orwellian.

Note the "Half-Asleep" part. It was monday and it was first period.

He still beat you by 50 seconds

Although, the one thing that bothers me the most is the people who generally behave badly and on the few occassions they behave with manners they expect people to be impressed. "I didn't act like a Monkey today, Where is my cookie?"


i believe that stems from parents who reward normalcy and expect monkey.

hate that too. just control your kids. i mean, how hard is it to say no?

Umm... I don't think that says anything...
And neither do you. Look, we all appreciate that you're a tortured genius who bothered to memorize his square roots and order of presidents. Good for you. But you're a student, that's your job. What's it matter to you if nobody around you does it well? You're never going to get any kind of satisfaction from pointing out others' ignorance, and it will only leave you lonely and bitter. I've been down that road, and that way madness lies. Don't get me wrong, if you're into madness then weigh anchor and sail away. But don't think you're going to get sympathy for being a crystalline intelligence snob.

Crystalline intelligence refers to stuff you've banked and have at your beck and call. This as opposed or compared to fluid intelligence, which is the ability to use crystalline knowledge to adapt and interpolate into new situations -- think on your feet, use intuition, stuff like that. The latter, to me marks a smart person (NOT me, I'm as crystalline as they come), the former marks a game show contestant. Not that I'm knocking Ken Jennings, he's wealthier than I will ever be.

Point is, intelligence is like a new watch. If all you ever do is walk around telling people what time it is whether they wanted to know or not, nobody will appreciate the watch, and certainly not the wearer. However, if you're asked the time or notice someone who seems to be looking for it and politely offer them what they need, more people appreciate the watch and the wearer. Just a thought.

Well, the test that helps you get into college in any respect. My college students find out that the world has changed for them when they get into my composition classes.
Same thing as my music theory classes and choirs.

"What? We have to WORK on this music? I just wanna have fun and sing!"

He still beat you by 50 seconds

If you're using simple maths...
5/2 minutes = 2 1/2 minutes = 2m30s - 2m00s =/= 50s.

Do you get plagiarising students? One of my students lifted an entire paragraph of his lab report from his friend. It's easy to tell who copied who, since that out of place paragraph was referenced properly in his friend's report. There was another out of place para that I don't know originated where.

Would you fail him? I gave him a C or something.
Fail him? Try expel! That's policy in all the schools who've ever employed me.

Charming and completely true. I scored (note the terminology "scored" instead of "graded" -- they beat that into you) essays last year for the company that provides the service in the Seattle area. Pearson Educational Measurement in Auburn, WA. The scale is 1 to 6 with 1 being little or no sentnece structure and a complete absence of any kind of coherent argument, and 6 being ironclad coherency, support for arguments and superior sentence structure.

We were told, in fact, to AVOID thinking about the following:

-- Factual accuracy
-- Spelling
-- Grammar is only one of a subset of factors in the "mechanics" section of the scoring rubric, so we weren't supposed to give it much weight...

So a kid could use a completely inaccurate statement to back up an assertion in the essay, so long as the "fact" supported the point they were trying to make. This part-time, temporary job was one of the most frustrating I ever had in my life. It paid meh ($8-$12/hr. DOE), but it was a nice supplement to the part-time teaching job I had then.

I'm probably prohibited from even mentioning this stuff, but I really don't care. The whole thing is a sham. Here's what else they do:

Every so often the essay you're looking at has been scored by the team of folks who developed the questions and the scoring guide. Your score, ideally, should match theirs if you're doing it right. There's a little counter to the lower left of your screen that tells you your scoring pace (how many per hour), and your accuracy with regard to the pre-scored samples. You get full credit for being spot on, and partial credit for being one score away from the given score. This is how they keep track of your progress. It's really annoying and gets on your nerves because if you haven't had a reference essay in a while, your score will show very low (or in red, as the scores are also color coded to keep you painfully aware of how you're measuring up).

It was a great inside look at the process -- and at the sad state of some sample students across the region (some schools/cities) could be identified from cultural and site references in their essays). We were badged and security screened and we couldn't take our notes with us outside the facility. It all seemed very Orwellian.
They'd have fired me inside of ten minutes, I guarantee you.

Not to a lot of teachers. Most have assloads of papers to grade, and won't sincerely look through them all for accuracy and all that jazz, mostly just getting the overall feel of the paper itself - the largest influence over that feeling being how long the essay was.

I wrote an essay to my 12th grade english teacher on how much I dislike her and why. I got an A+, she didn't mark any grammatical errors no notes or comments, never talked to me about it, almost as if she'd never actually read the content of the essay itself.
That could have been a "get this guy outta here" A+. Then again, it could have been rewarding both your skill as a writer and your cojones for the subject matter. I can tell you there are two basic ways to respond to harsh criticism from a student, deserved or not. A) Ignore it. B) Take it to heart and look at what you're doing. Whether A) or B) or some mixture of the two depends on how accurate the criticism is, whether or not it's just whiny bitching or a legitimate concern. I just got my student evals today, and I learned a lot, and got pummeled a lot, too. Overall, I'm at 4.0 to 4.4 on a 5 point scale per question, so I've room for imporvement, but I'm not at all shoddy. Still, I can find some statements hurtful, and though I try not to be affected by them, sometimes that doesn't work.

If you're using simple maths...
5/2 minutes = 2 1/2 minutes = 2m30s - 2m00s =/= 50s.

Damn my crappy typing








*Hopes nobody realises im an idiot*

They'd have fired me inside of ten minutes, I guarantee you.
Understood! It took me the whole of the first 12 hours of training to subdue my proofreading reflex and just do what they wanted me to do. I took my checks and vowed never to do that job again. They keep sending me postcards and calling me, telling me I was good at it and I could do it online, even from North Dakota, but I declined. I'm still in their hopper for the grade-school level tests, 'cause those are cake, but I won't do the SAT essay again.

someonw who doesn't know the difference between Washington and Lincolin may not have much knowledge, but still may be highly intelligent.

That is true. Except that we're not talking about some guy who's just never heard of those two characters, who maybe isn't American, who maybe never went to a public school in the US... this is like a quarter of the students in a US high school. I'm doubting that they've just never heard of Lincoln or Washington in their educational experience before.

again, (maybe I should just put this in my sig.) there is a difference between knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom

Of course there's a difference, but it is wise to use your intelligence to gain knowledge.

People who can only identify themselves or others by who they choose to sleep with.
Oooh, good one. That's not exclusively female, but mostly so.

Damn my crappy typing








*Hopes nobody realises im an idiot*

Did Spuddy Jeankin get 100 and 60 confused?

Nobody deserves a cookie for holding doors open. Just like you do not deserve a cookie for washing your hands after you pee. You are not owed a cookie for these things.

EDIT: I guess I should correct that slightly. A small child who holds a door open should be given a cookie. This is because children should be educated in much the same way a puppy is educated, and cookies are an effective teaching aid.
Careful, though. I agree, but I don't want a nation of fat kids...oh, wait....

Pet peeve:

It's 1:30 am and the next-door neighbor is having a loud party. I have to be up at 5:00. So I go over and ask him, politely, to turn the music down. He says it's his music in his house and he'll play it as loudly as he wants. I call the police, who break up the party. Suddenly, I'm the villain.
Not only that, but bet your ass there'll be some subsequent vandalism on your property. People suck.

I want a cookie! Because:

1. I'm hungry.
2. I didn't notice when I hit my 1000th post.

Okay, after reading and replying to some, here are some of my own pet peeves.

1) I hear this one a lot from male gangsta rappers on TV interviews and from rural/low-income men all over the place: "I stayed with her after I got her pregnant. I didn't leave 'em, I'm their father. [implied: where's my cookie?!?]"

Look, dipshit, you became a father -- you're SUPPOSED to do all that stuff and even MORE! You get no cookie for NOT being an abusive asshole or running off from paternal responsibility. More often that not, this argument is used in order to excuse abusive or violent behavior. You get the anti-cookie for staying and using that as cause to beat your wife or kids with impunity or spend the grocery money on beer and gambling. Sets my teeth on edge.

2) I heard this one in high school, both as student and teacher. Kids think they can beat the shit out of someone who uses their only defense against verbal abuse or harassment -- words. It still scrambles my mind when I hear of someone beating another person up because of something they said. Folks, words should be responded to with words. If you can't do that, then you need to step up to the plate, lean in and take one for the team -- kill yourself. We don't need anymore people who give you the artificial elbow in the hallway and then claim they have pretext to abuse you for "not watching where you're going".

3) Hazing. "I got duct taped to a flagpole, so I get to do it to the next newbies/freshmen/whatever". A tradition that allows someone with obvious physical superiority to wield it with "boys will be boys" impunity is a bad fucking tradition, period. How is it constructive to allow this shit? You get no cookie for being a 220-pound linebacker who shoves a 103-pound freshman into a locker. You should be able to do that, you've got 120 pounds and three-and-a-half years on him. Go lift weights, asshole.

Understood! It took me the whole of the first 12 hours of training to subdue my proofreading reflex and just do what they wanted me to do. I took my checks and vowed never to do that job again. They keep sending me postcards and calling me, telling me I was good at it and I could do it online, even from North Dakota, but I declined. I'm still in their hopper for the grade-school level tests, 'cause those are cake, but I won't do the SAT essay again.

I think I would have gone insane after the first few. No, after the first two. And, from experience, grading the MCAT essay's sometimes isn't much better (even though they were practice MCAT essay's)

I think I would have gone insane after the first few. No, after the first two. And, from experience, grading the MCAT essay's sometimes isn't much better (even though they were practice MCAT essay's)
...and I didn't even mention the handwriting...*shudder*:eek:

I'll add PAs that bitch about being PAs...(production assistants-you know when you watch those behind the scenes deallies and there is some loser with a headset on getting people coffee? Those guys...)

Yeah, man-it's a sucky position. It's the entry level job that you can often get people to do for free, so yeah-you're meat. (My next job I was hired with only my name and a phone number, they have no idea if I have experience or not) But just about everyone did it, it's the 'way in' (which is why so many people are doing it for free). Just nose down, do the job, pay attention, work hard, and get to know the crew. If you slack and bitch then why would anyone move you up and out of being a PA? Who wants a sound assistant or camera assistant who slacks and bitches all the damn time? Or a production coordinator who bitch...actually, those guys bitch a lot. Maybe that's where bitching PAs go...screw that noise, I don't want to be in production, crew is the place for me...

I just got off a job (literally, got back last night) that had PAs that did nothing but bitch, except me who thoroughly enjoyed being in the Mendicino Redwoods no matter how hard or long I had to work (the only thing that upset me was I was doing runs when the sound guy was going to let me use his rig). At the end of it, you know what I got? I'm totally not kidding-

I got a bunch of cookies. Seriously. Craft services had bags and bags of cookies left over and the production team gave them all to me. Which is the only reason I contributed this little tale. Because I got cookies for simply doing my job. You can get cookies for just doing what you're supposed to...

People that think since they have something nice that they deserve an award.
For example, Billy does volunteer service and expects to be rewarded by being paid, or given a statue or some crap.

People who start threads like these. What, you want a cookie for your cleverness?:D

Here's my true pet peeve. People who say they're so much smarter than me (At school), yet when I ask them what's the square root of 144, they take 10 seconds to answer. But then again, it is somewhat fun to see the stupid look on thier face as they contemplate it.

Testing the square root of 144 tests intelligence how? You do realize that knowledge and the capacity to learn (intelligence) are intertwined but not equal, yes? Also, given that there are many accepted types of intelligence (capacity for numeric patterns, for word patters, for spacial analysis, memory, etc.) and your question only mildly relates to one of those properly, it's pretty good evidence that you don't really understand the quality you are attempting to measure.

To the original point, I get annoyed when people try to tell me someone must not be smart if they don't have a degree or must be because they do. I hate when people confuse knowledge and "smartness". I've seen garbagemen without a high school degree who have owned people with masters in a debate about politics because they have a better grasp on logic, for exmple.

Riddle them this. A clever man is found thieving from the king. He is sentenced to death. The king, being compassionate, decides to let the man decide how he wants to die. How does the man choose to die? I figured it out in 5 minutes, concerning the fact that I was half-asleep. Even some of the G.A.T.E. students didn't realize it until the teacher said it.

He chose to die of old age

It's better if you don't put the answer there so people can guess answers, but the answer is obvious to some. Riddles are better, but it still tests a particular type of intelligence. For example a person exceptional at mathematic progressions would not have any advantage on that question.

It's better if you don't put the answer there so people can guess answers, but the answer is obvious to some. Riddles are better, but it still tests a particular type of intelligence. For example a person exceptional at mathematic progressions would not have any advantage on that question.

Two PhDs were talking
Of what can never be.
If this then that, if that not this,
But this is true you see.

Here's my true pet peeve. People who say they're so much smarter than me (At school), yet when I ask them what's the square root of 144, they take 10 seconds to answer. But then again, it is somewhat fun to see the stupid look on thier face as they contemplate it.
I can not do simple subtraction of numbers in my head if they are decently large (like 2 digets or more) without pulling out my fingers

But I finished my second masters up with a project on distributed network process efficency of pi calculation in a beowul cluster envyroment and the effect of network topology on its performance... not sure that is a good meter

I can not do simple subtraction of numbers in my head if they are decently large (like 2 digets or more) without pulling out my fingers

But I finished my second masters up with a project on distributed network process efficency of pi calculation in a baywolf cluster envyroment and the effect of network topology on its performance... not sure that is a good meter

Incidentally, neither is your second masters a good measure, but it efficientally makes the point.

I don't think it's "sexist," I think it's simply a sign of laziness, weakness, or rudeness if a man tries to use "chivalry" as a cover for why he won't hold doors for 50% of the humans he encounters.

If a man is coming up behind you with his arms full of parcels, why wouldn't you just hold the door? Does it really require so much effort? If somebody else is passing through the door right behind you, are you really so lazy that you wouldn't put out your hand to hold the door open for the brief moment it takes?

How lazy do you have to be, that you just let a door slap shut in somebody else's face because you can't be bothered to pause for two seconds?

It's not about sexism, to me, it's just about courtesy. Any person, male or female, who feels the need to think up bullshit reasons why they will only hold the door for certain people is putting more effort into being rude than it would take for them to be polite.

but it's the assumption that you're doing it out of 'chivalry' that's annoying. i'd hold the door open for anyone so anyone that looks at you like you're just slime because you dared to condescend to keep the door open for them is an instant annoyance. the head of department of my faculty at uni is like that. she's an old-school feminist who hates men although she represents herself as third wave or whatever. the fact is, she'll give you such a shouting if you hold a door for her if you're a man that most guys around the place have taken to slamming the door at her (sirrupticiously(sp?) of course, don't want any further ballings).

There are different kinds of intelligence. Lecturers are good at their subject, but not very good at making it interesting or easy to learn.

I can not do simple subtraction of numbers in my head if they are decently large (like 2 digets or more) without pulling out my fingers

But I finished my second masters up with a project on distributed network process efficency of pi calculation in a baywolf cluster envyroment and the effect of network topology on its performance... not sure that is a good meter
You shoulda benchmarked F.E.A.R. instead.:D

Incidentally, neither is your second masters a good measure, but it efficientally makes the point.
Agreed absolutly I have seen too many people squeek by

Though I have a feeling mine is a bit better meter ... as I had to make the graduate program as I went through (It did not exist before)

But the first one ... some people are good at just memorizing books and doing projects rather then thinking

You shoulda benchmarked F.E.A.R. instead.:D
If only games lent themselfs to network processing

Atlass they dont :)

If only games lent themselfs to network processing

Atlass they dont :)
Hook several slavesup to a master and see if that increases you FPS?

Did Spuddy Jeankin get 100 and 60 confused?

No he did not!
He got buttons mixed up on his keyboard

To the original point, I get annoyed when people try to tell me someone must not be smart if they don't have a degree or must be because they do. I hate when people confuse knowledge and "smartness". I've seen garbagemen without a high school degree who have owned people with masters in a debate about politics because they have a better grasp on logic, for exmple.That's my father-in-law--self taught philosopher who keeps up with the news, but who's been a letter-carrier for the last thirty years. (He uses that, too--"but what do I know? I'm just a mailman.)

Hook several slavesup to a master and see if that increases you FPS?
Ive done it ... there are several major factors that limit that style of processing in games where response time is the biggest factor rather then sheer computation power


For example (EXTREEMLY simplfied) Your charicter starts sliding down a hill...

In the normal one machine framework the gravity effect calculation is sent through the bus, into on chip memory, instructions are caried out results sent back across bus

In a network envyroment you have to send the request across the bus to the proc, make a decision that it should go to the other computer, send that que across the bus, to the network card (which has to be processed), across to the other computer, from there through the bus (or series of buses) to processor register(que) processed and the result has to go across the bus to the network card, be processed and sent back to the other computer, which has to process it send it across the bus back to ram

Needless to say lag time is not nice, parelell processing is done better when you have large "packets" of data that can be chewed over for a long period of time

For example my pi calculation I found it optimal for each machine to calculate about 3000 digits of pi and the master to just coordinate the packets .

Ive done it ... there are several major factors that limit that style of processing in games where response time is the biggest factor rather then sheer computation power


For example (EXTREEMLY simplfied) Your charicter starts sliding down a hill...

In the normal one machine framework the gravity effect calculation is sent through the bus, into on chip memory, instructions are caried out results sent back across bus

In a network envyroment you have to send the request across the bus to the proc, make a decision that it should go to the other computer, send that que across the bus, to the network card (which has to be processed), across to the other computer, from there through the bus (or series of buses) to processor register(que) processed and the result has to go across the bus to the network card, be processed and sent back to the other computer, which has to process it send it across the bus back to ram

Needless to say lag time is not nice, parelell processing is done better when you have large "packets" of data that can be chewed over for a long period of time

For example my pi calculation I found it optimal for each machine to calculate about 3000 digits of pi and the master to just coordinate the packets .
I knew the results would be futile.

I knew the results would be futile.
Yeah but I am pretty close to breaking the home record for pi calculation (Though I am working on my single machine application as well because I am not sure they count home clusters as "home computation" even if they are all my machines)

Yeah but I am pretty close to breaking the home record for pi calculation (Though I am working on my single machine application as well because I am not sure they count home clusters as "home computation" even if they are all my machines)
How many didgets have you claculated so far?

How many didgets have you claculated so far?
31 Billion ... but it is an increasing function so it takes longer to continue to calculate (and having a 40 gig text file is intresting to cat lol)

but it's the assumption that you're doing it out of 'chivalry' that's annoying.

I don't assume that, at all. I was responding to a person who flat-out stated that he holds doors for women out of chivalry. I guess it was an assumption on my part that he was telling the truth, but I tend to make that assumption in order to avoid having to call everybody around here a liar :).

In day to day life, I don't usually even really notice the gender of the person holding a door for me. I have extremely crappy vision, as well as a very day-dream-prone personality, so I don't notice things like that. I just say "thanks" to whoever it is that held that door for me.


i'd hold the door open for anyone so anyone that looks at you like you're just slime because you dared to condescend to keep the door open for them is an instant annoyance.

Which I've personally never seen a single person do, male or female. A certain kind of man always seems to have stories about evil bitches who yell at them for being nice polite guys, but I've seen the most rabid feminists react with courtesy even when a guy is making a big production out of his "chivalry." I don't usually like to rely on annecdotal evidence, but in this case I'm forced to accept either my own personal experiences or the stories of random strangers off the internet.

It's annoying to some of us, sure, because some guys only hold the door or pull out the chair in order to get their chivalry cookie, but we don't jump on them in public.

I want a cookie! Because:

1. I'm hungry.
2. I didn't notice when I hit my 1000th post.
You may have a 1000th post cookie. :)

Which I've personally never seen a single person do, male or female. A certain kind of man always seems to have stories about evil bitches who yell at them for being nice polite guys, but I've seen the most rabid feminists react with courtesy even when a guy is making a big production out of his chivalry.

It's annoying to some of us, sure, because some guys only hold the door or pull out the chair in order to get their chivalry cookie, but we don't jump on them in public.
You know, when Eut made the same comment as Infinite Revolution did early in the thread, I let it go, because I just wasn't in the mood to deal with him, but I'm glad you responded to this one, because this is my experience as well, and you're talking to someone who lives and works in the world of liberal arts. If there were anyone who would be likely to run into the aforementioned type, it would be me--hell, my office is on the same floor as the Women's Studies department--and I've never run across that kind of caricature of a feminist.

I don't doubt that one or two exist, somewhere and somewhen, but I expect these people are more like Reagan's Cadillac driving welfare queen--a woman was having a bad day and didn't say thank you loud enough to a Rush Limbaugh chivalric hero, and the story got blown up into rabid feminists spit on men who hold doors for them.

To the original point, I get annoyed when people try to tell me someone must not be smart if they don't have a degree or must be because they do. I hate when people confuse knowledge and "smartness". I've seen garbagemen without a high school degree who have owned people with masters in a debate about politics because they have a better grasp on logic, for exmple.
The problem is, there's already an anti-intellectual backlash, which makes things equally shitty if you swing the other direction. For instance, I am tired of people asking me when I'm going to "get a real job," as though pursuing my PhD isn't a real job. I'm tired of people portraying all intellectuals and scientists as smarmy elites who hate the working man. I'm sick of us being portrayed as physically weak, cowardly, or "feminine" (which seems to mean, "worthless in every meaningful way").

Having a degree doesn't make a person a genius. It also doesn't make them a wuss or an elitest. I wish people could deal with simple concepts like that. :(

You know, when Eut made the same comment as Infinite Revolution did early in the thread, I let it go, because I just wasn't in the mood to deal with him, but I'm glad you responded to this one, because this is my experience as well, and you're talking to someone who lives and works in the world of liberal arts. If there were anyone who would be likely to run into the aforementioned type, it would be me--hell, my office is on the same floor as the Women's Studies department--and I've never run across that kind of caricature of a feminist.

I don't doubt that one or two exist, somewhere and somewhen, but I expect these people are more like Reagan's Cadillac driving welfare queen--a woman was having a bad day and didn't say thank you loud enough to a Rush Limbaugh chivalric hero, and the story got blown up into rabid feminists spit on men who hold doors for them.
Statistically speaking, if there really were women who were going around shrieking at men for holding doors, I would have met at least one by now. Honestly. I've spent more time with feminists than most people will in a life time. I've spent more time around out-spoken, angry, stress-out women than most people will in a life time. I spend time with the exact type of woman who is the very most likely to yell at somebody for being a sexist prick. And never, not ONE SINGLE TIME, have I seen a single woman so much as give a guy a dirty look for holding a door for her.

I have seen women call guys out when this kind of conversation comes up, sure. And when a guy tries to pat himself on the back for condescending to treat a woman with respect, I've seen both men and women tell him to get over himself and finish his damn drink. But I have never seen any woman lash out at a man for holding a door.

(Though it is now a running joke between me and my boyfriend, where every time I open a door for myself he calls me "castrating bitch" and I call him "penis brain." We are the best of friends.)

Yet, to hear some men tell it, half the women in the country are spending all their time running around to various doors so that they can yell at the men who offer to hold them open. None of my male friends have ever seen this, nor have any of my male relatives, nor have any of my male coworkers, but a certain kind of man always seems to be the victim of the evil Straw Feminist.

Statistically speaking, if there really were women who were going around shrieking at men for holding doors, I would have met at least one by now. Honestly. I've spent more time with feminists than most people will in a life time. I've spent more time around out-spoken, angry, stress-out women than most people will in a life time. I spend time with the exact type of woman who is the very most likely to yell at somebody for being a sexist prick. And never, not ONE SINGLE TIME, have I seen a single woman so much as give a guy a dirty look for holding a door for her.

I have seen women call guys out when this kind of conversation comes up, sure. And when a guy tries to pat himself on the back for condescending to treat a woman with respect, I've seen both men and women tell him to get over himself and finish his damn drink. But I have never seen any woman lash out at a man who displays basic manners and courtesy.

Yet, to hear some men tell it, half the women in the country are spending all their time running around to various doors so that they can yell at the men who offer to hold them open. None of my male friends have ever seen this, nor have any of my male relatives, nor have any of my male coworkers, but a certain kind of man always seems to be the victim of the evil Straw Feminist.
We read the same blogs, I see. :D

And I know precisely what you mean--like you, I've spent a significant part of the last ten years in academia, and what's worse, I'm the personification of what straw-feminists call the enemy: a white male. I mean, I should be the enemy of all that is feminist and multi-cultural, right? Persona non grata at the liberal parties and all that. And yet, I've never seen the kind of behavior described by straw-feminists, and certainly never had it directed at me.

Being 'open-minded' or 'tolerant'.

You definetely don't deserve a cookie for holding the doors open for all kinds of undesirable outsiders, strangers, deviationists and similar ilk.


As Doug Adams once remarked, all development goes through 3 phases.

The How, the Why and the Where.

How do we eat?
Why should we eat?
Where do we eat? is the example he gave.

Openmindedness and tolerance are the result of getting hung up on the 'why' phase.

We read the same blogs, I see. :D

Hehe, quite possible. Though I think several people have independently invented the concept of Straw Feminist, since my mother has been tossing around that term for years now. Don't know where the hell she got it, the woman reads EVERYTHING.


And I know precisely what you mean--like you, I've spent a significant part of the last ten years in academia, and what's worse, I'm the personification of what straw-feminists call the enemy: a white male.

I don't know about anybody else, but I'm feeling oppressed right about now. Why do you white males think you have the right to talk? Report to Castration Center 3 immediately, for feminist re-education.


I mean, I should be the enemy of all that is feminist and multi-cultural, right? Persona non grata at the liberal parties and all that. And yet, I've never seen the kind of behavior described by straw-feminists, and certainly never had it directed at me.
For me, it's mostly the fact that these events ONLY seem to occur to the men who are already dead-set on defending their (admittedly!) sexist behaviors. I can think of several possibilities:

1) The universe really is just that weird, and women just happen to pick on only the "chivalrous" men, and only when nobody else is around to confirm this.
2) Women have a secret radar for knowing which men are openning doors for "chivalrous" reasons. Women are compelled to yell at these men (but only when no non-chivalrous men or women are around to see it).
3) People see what they want to see, and certain men are more likely to perceive women's reactions as hostile, even when those reactions were not intended as such. She might have just been squinting because it was sunny out, not because she was giving you the evil eye.
4) Some men may be, unintentionally, sending out other signals when they are holding doors or pulling out chairs or whatever. They may be appearing condescending, patronizing, or otherwise irritating, and this complete picture is what the women are really reacting to (not merely the act of holding the door).

Statistically speaking, if there really were women who were going around shrieking at men for holding doors, I would have met at least one by now. Honestly. I've spent more time with feminists than most people will in a life time. I've spent more time around out-spoken, angry, stress-out women than most people will in a life time. I spend time with the exact type of woman who is the very most likely to yell at somebody for being a sexist prick. And never, not ONE SINGLE TIME, have I seen a single woman so much as give a guy a dirty look for holding a door for her.

I have seen women call guys out when this kind of conversation comes up, sure. And when a guy tries to pat himself on the back for condescending to treat a woman with respect, I've seen both men and women tell him to get over himself and finish his damn drink. But I have never seen any woman lash out at a man for holding a door.

(Though it is now a running joke between me and my boyfriend, where every time I open a door for myself he calls me "castrating bitch" and I call him "penis brain." We are the best of friends.)

Yet, to hear some men tell it, half the women in the country are spending all their time running around to various doors so that they can yell at the men who offer to hold them open. None of my male friends have ever seen this, nor have any of my male relatives, nor have any of my male coworkers, but a certain kind of man always seems to be the victim of the evil Straw Feminist.


While I agree I HAVE met one of them ... thankfully we broke contact 6 years ago when highschool finished lol

While I agree I HAVE met one of them ... thankfully we broke contact 6 years ago when highschool finished lol
Unless high school works very differently where you live, I'm guessing that the woman in question was a teenage girl.

Call me crazy, but I tend to just accept that teenagers are generally going to make asses out of themselves on a regular basis (I know I did), and I don't leap to attribute any elaborate agenda to their behavior.

Unless high school works very differently where you live, I'm guessing that the woman in question was a teenage girl.

Call me crazy, but I tend to just accept that teenagers are generally going to make asses out of themselves on a regular basis (I know I did), and I don't leap to attribute any elaborate agenda to their behavior.
Well she was bout the same last contact when I was about 20 (so was she)

Not all grown up but ... it was not some 16 year old either

But she was a bit crazy no matter what she espoused

I've only ever been thanked for holding doors open for people. I don't know how I'd react if someone complained. Would they just make a quick comment and leave? I'd probably ignore them if that was the case.

Well she was bout the same last contact when I was about 20 (so was she)

Not all grown up but ... it was not some 16 year old either

But she was a bit crazy no matter what she espoused
Meh. Crazy people do crazy things, as a general rule.

I've only ever been thanked for holding doors open for people. I don't know how I'd react if someone complained. Would they just make a quick comment and leave? I'd probably ignore them if that was the case.
And see, that would be the sane response. You would think to yourself, "Well, that person was a jackass!" And then you would get on with your life.

Meh. Crazy people do crazy things, as a general rule.
Yeah I understand … just saying that I HAVE met one such person that took it very seriously. I was not saying what the cause of it was just that I had met one.

:fluffle:

Yezz, I w4nt a c00ki4, 4nd I w4nt !t n0w!!!!!111!!1!!11oneoneleven!!!one!!111!

Seriously though....gimmie a cookie....as the title says...

Okay. I admit it.

I only hold doors open for people, so that Bottle will have sex with me. :)

Okay. I admit it.

I only hold doors open for people, so that Bottle will have sex with GnI.

Okay. I admit it.

I only hold doors open for people, so that Bottle will have sex with GnI.
What if I hold the door open for both you and Bottle? :cool:

What if I hold the door open for both you and Bottle? :cool:

Bottle will have sex with GnI while you watch. Duh. Why do I always have to explain everything to you?

Bottle will have sex with GnI while you watch. Duh. Why do I always have to explain everything to you?
Duh. Because I'm dumb?:D

Umm... Ok then. Actually ask 25% of the people at my school who the first president of the United States was, and they will reply "Abraham Lincoln?"

Memorization of facts is not an indication of intelligence.

Here's one: people who brag that "I do <something not impressive here> for my children". Like "When I get up to work I do it for my children". Congratulations, you're doing just what you're supposed to do, support and raise your children; what do you want, a tap in the back and a medal? :rolleyes:

Duh. Because I'm dumb?:D

Do you know what happens when you spit rootbeer onto your monitor?

Yes Damnit! I want a cookie.:p

Do you know what happens when you spit rootbeer onto your monitor?

An angel gets its wings?

An angel gets its wings?

I'm willing to believe it... I think my monitor nearly gave up the ghost.

Poor thing... the things it's had spat on it... chocolate milk, root beer, etc..

I'm willing to believe it... I think my monitor nearly gave up the ghost.

Poor thing... the things it's had spat on it... chocolate milk, root beer, etc..

I'm not going there, out of respect for your wife.


I mean she puts up with you, the least we could do is show her a little respect.

I'm willing to believe it... I think my monitor nearly gave up the ghost.

Poor thing... the things it's had spat on it... chocolate milk, root beer, etc..

Don't forget the good ol' spit!

Here's one: people who brag that "I do <something not impressive here> for my children". Like "When I get up to work I do it for my children". Congratulations, you're doing just what you're supposed to do, support and raise your children; what do you want, a tap in the back and a medal? :rolleyes:
A guy I met in college had left his 17 year old girlfriend back home with their new baby. He was, theoretically, supposed to be helping to support them, but in reality didn't have a job or any passing marks in school because he went out and got drunk all the time. His defense?

"Hey, I'm not in a gang, and I don't shoot up. I'm good to my family."

1. I hold the door open based on how far away from the door you are and whether or not I like you.

2. If I cheat on my girlfriend she probably did something, or lack of something, to deserve it. It doesn't really matter since I don't get involved in relationships anyway.

3. I don't really study.

What pisses me off...

You do not get a cookie for...

1. Being able to bench 315lbs, the fact is there are a thousand other workouts and you only did one half decent. Congratz.

2. Bragging about having a girlfriend/boyfriend for an ungodly amount of time, your partner gets a cookie for tolerating your dumbass.

3. Bragging about holding your liquor, whoopdy fucking doo, so you spend an extra 10$ per week to get arrested and end up face first in a urinal the next day.

4. Bragging about being good at gambling, you get a medal for being able to lie and get lucky. *Throws a 40lb hunk of iron at the target*

5. Being a virgin, congratz, you're contributing nothing to the human race asshat.

6. Being in a religion...*not even going into this*

7. Being able to beat a video game is such and such amount of hours. You get nothing other than the label of "shut-in" and see number 5.

2. If I cheat on my girlfriend she probably did something, or lack of something, to deserve it. It doesn't really matter since I don't get involved in relationships anyway.

I guess that's between you and her. Personally, I think cheating is never ok, because I don't believe you ever have a justification for betraying your partner in that way. If she has done something so bad, you should just break up with her, instead of playing games like cheating to get back at her.

1. Being able to bench 315lbs, the fact is there are a thousand other workouts and you only did one half decent. Congratz.

2. Bragging about having a girlfriend/boyfriend for an ungodly amount of time, your partner gets a cookie for tolerating your dumbass.

3. Bragging about holding your liquor, whoopdy fucking doo, so you spend an extra 10$ per week to get arrested and end up face first in a urinal the next day.

4. Bragging about being good at gambling, you get a medal for being able to lie and get lucky. *Throws a 40lb hunk of iron at the target*

Check, check, check, check. No arguments from me on any of these! All are annoying, and all are unworthy of a cookie. The only correction I would make is that nobody deserves a cookie for putting up with a lousy boyfriend/girlfriend...they can have a cookie when they grow a spine and ditch the loser.


5. Being a virgin, congratz, you're contributing nothing to the human race asshat.

I agree that being a virgin does not warrant a cookie, but I disagree that being a virgin means you are "contributing nothing." I don't think you would automatically be "contributing something" by being sexually active. Hell, there are a lot of people who would be doing us all a favor if they stopped screwing altogether.


6. Being in a religion...*not even going into this*

No argument...but that's a whole other thread ;).


7. Being able to beat a video game is such and such amount of hours. You get nothing other than the label of "shut-in" and see number 5.
Hey now. The fact that my boyfriend and I unlocked every feature in MarioKart Double Dash is proof of our god-like powers.

:)

I agree that being a virgin does not warrant a cookie, but I disagree that being a virgin means you are "contributing nothing." I don't think you would automatically be "contributing something" by being sexually active. Hell, there are a lot of people who would be doing us all a favor if they stopped screwing altogether.

Lemme fix something.

Bragging about being a virgin warrants not a cookie, but a severe to mild beating via heavy mining equipment.

Better. :D

Lemme fix something.

Bragging about being a virgin warrants not a cookie, but a severe to mild beating via heavy mining equipment.

Better. :D
Indeed. I just can't help but remember a few people I've met who really should have stayed life-long virgins...for the good of humanity. They're always the ones boinking like bunnies, though. Sigh.

I guess that's between you and her. Personally, I think cheating is never ok, because I don't believe you ever have a justification for betraying your partner in that way. If she has done something so bad, you should just break up with her, instead of playing games like cheating to get back at her.

Check, check, check, check. No arguments from me on any of these! All are annoying, and all are unworthy of a cookie. The only correction I would make is that nobody deserves a cookie for putting up with a lousy boyfriend/girlfriend...they can have a cookie when they grow a spine and ditch the loser.


I agree that being a virgin does not warrant a cookie, but I disagree that being a virgin means you are "contributing nothing." I don't think you would automatically be "contributing something" by being sexually active. Hell, there are a lot of people who would be doing us all a favor if they stopped screwing altogether.


No argument...but that's a whole other thread ;).


Hey now. The fact that my boyfriend and I unlocked every feature in MarioKart Double Dash is proof of our god-like powers.

:)

Double-Dash? As did me and my fiancee. It took us like a week straight of nightly playing with my little sister always watching intently.

Indeed. I just can't help but remember a few people I've met who really should have stayed life-long virgins...for the good of humanity. They're always the ones boinking like bunnies, though. Sigh.


*grin*

Don't take it personal, please, but I've been for quite a while been under the impression that you are more interested in 'humanity as you would like it to be' than in 'humanity as it is'.
Which strikes me as VERY unpractical to the point of pointlessness.

* even worse grin*

And it isn't a sound reproductional strategy either.

Double-Dash? As did me and my fiancee. It took us like a week straight of nightly playing with my little sister always watching intently.
Did you guys get that wicked painful blister on the heel of your hand? After like 27 hours of powerslides, I had a callus shaped like the analog stick imprinted on my palm.

Video games should be played for fun, not to brag about.

Tell that to every BF2/CS/DoD/etc etc forum where they all have thier xfire stats in thier signiture lines...

Video games should be played for fun, not to brag about.
Well, I feel the same way about sports, but nobody listens to me.

Indeed. I just can't help but remember a few people I've met who really should have stayed life-long virgins...for the good of humanity. They're always the ones boinking like bunnies, though. Sigh.

Hey! :D

Was that directed at me? Though in my defense I am currently not going out with anyone.

Well, I feel the same way about sports, but nobody listens to me.

God I hated sports. Worst were the kids who took the games too seriously (even though they were only playing in the compulsory rejects' team, not the real team).

SOME PLAYER: "Aaargh! You didn't catch the ball!"
ME IN MY MIND: "I don't care! I'm only here because the f**king school makes me!"

God I hated sports. Worst were the kids who took the games too seriously (even though they were only playing in the compulsory rejects' team, not the real team).

SOME PLAYER: "Aaargh! You didn't catch the ball!"
ME IN MY MIND: "I don't care! I'm only here because the f**king school makes me!"
I respect talented atheletes, and I certainly can be amazed by what the human body is capable of, but I'm not clear on why a person is to be given god-like status for being able to kick a ball a very long distance. That is a skill, and often a pretty cool looking one, but I don't see why it is to be valued more (or less) than the ability to perform a 100K point trick in Tony Hawk 3.

I respect talented atheletes, and I certainly can be amazed by what the human body is capable of, but I'm not clear on why a person is to be given god-like status for being able to kick a ball a very long distance. That is a skill, and often a pretty cool looking one, but I don't see why it is to be valued more (or less) than the ability to perform a 100K point trick in Tony Hawk 3.
Yeah, I like impressive stunts, I just hated compulsory sport. As you say, sports should be played for fun. I didn't find them fun, so I shouldn't have been made to play. I can accept compulsory exercise in school, but being good at sports is not the same as being physically fit.

Yeah, I like impressive stunts, I just hated compulsory sport. As you say, sports should be played for fun. I didn't find them fun, so I shouldn't have been made to play. I can accept compulsory exercise in school, but being good at sports is not the same as being physically fit.
Hell, in my school it was almost the opposite...we virtually always got stuck playing kickball or baseball, and the majority of one's time in those sports is spent standing around waiting for something to happen. Or sitting on the bench, waiting for the 2 minutes of physical activity when it's your turn at bat. I would have gotten much better exercise just goofing off on the playground.

...being good at sports is not the same as being physically fit.
Hell, in my school it was almost the opposite...we virtually always got stuck playing kickball or baseball, and the majority of one's time in those sports is spent standing around waiting for something to happen. Or sitting on the bench, waiting for the 2 minutes of physical activity when it's your turn at bat. I would have gotten much better exercise just goofing off on the playground.

I'm not going there, out of respect for your wife.


I mean she puts up with you, the least we could do is show her a little respect.

Sir, these things you say!

Hey, let's not talk about not 'going there' for my wife's sake... it was YOUR picture...

Video games should be played for fun, not to brag about.
RAmen to that!!!!
MEGA-*bow*

RAmen to that!!!!
MEGA-*bow*
You all are just jealous because my level 200 elf warlord has a bigger flaming sword than your puny little orc mage.

What do you mean, "flaming sword" is homoerotic?! ARE YOU CALLING ME A FAG?!?!

You all are just jealous because my level 200 elf warlord has a bigger flaming sword than your puny little orc mage.

What do you mean, "flaming sword" is homoerotic?! ARE YOU CALLING ME A FAG?!?!
Haahahhaa!!!
:D
It's done wonders for your sense of decor and fashion. :)

Okay. I admit it.

I only hold doors open for people, so that Bottle will have sex with GnI.
Well, I suppose that's as good a reason as any. :) This could be the foundation for a very novel moral code.

There are different kinds of intelligence. Lecturers are good at their subject, but not very good at making it interesting or easy to learn.

Surely that depends upon the lecturer. A good lecturer can make even the most esoteric ideas come to life. I recommend being choosy about who educates you. I sure was.

Being 'open-minded' or 'tolerant'.

You definetely don't deserve a cookie for holding the doors open for all kinds of undesirable outsiders, strangers, deviationists and similar ilk.


As Doug Adams once remarked, all development goes through 3 phases.

The How, the Why and the Where.

How do we eat?
Why should we eat?
Where do we eat? is the example he gave.

Openmindedness and tolerance are the result of getting hung up on the 'why' phase.

For the annoyingly accurate, like me:

Societal development goes through three distinct phases: those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, also known as the 'How, Why and Where" phases. The first phase is characterized by the question "How can we eat?" The second by the question "Why do we eat?" And the third by the question "Where shall we have lunch?"

The development of warfare goes through three similar phases: those of Retribution, Anticipation, and Diplomacy. Thus, Retribution: "I'm going to kill you because you killed my brother." Anticipation: "I'm going to kill you because I killed your brother." And Diplomacy: "I'm going to kill my brother and then kill you on the pretext that your brother did it."

Okay, just encountered a NO COOKIE FOR YOU moment on another NS thread!


One evening my sons and I were watching The Apprentice, and one of the contestants was gay. My older son said that he hoped Trump would fire him outright for it. I scolded my son for that. I expained to him that a person's sexual practices have no bearing on his work or ability, and so it shouldn't be factored in, and that I'd be very disappointed if Trump had done so. As it turned out, the guy did eventually get fired from the show, but because of his work mistakes, not for whom he sleeps with.
What do you want, a cookie?! You're supposed to teach your kids not to break the law. You do not get a cookie.

Lemme fix something.

Bragging about being a virgin warrants not a cookie, but a severe to mild beating via heavy mining equipment.

Better. :D
George Carlin reference. Nice!

Tolerance of intolerance, as Bill Maher put it, is getting to be a problem, too. I suggest reading his book When You Ride Alone, You Ride With Bin Laden.

Tolerance of intolerance, as Bill Maher put it, is getting to be a problem, too. I suggest reading his book When You Ride Alone, You Ride With Bin Laden.
A good point, sort of.

I think the real problem is that "tolerance" has become a useless word. I will gladly "tolerate" intolerance, in the sense that I will be more than willing to let people say or think whatever stupid bigotted crap they like. I will tolerate their free expression, in that I will put up with it and not try to legally forbid them from expressing themselves.

But a lot of people seem to think that to "tolerate" requires respecting the other person's idea. I tolerate racism, even though I don't have the least bit of respect for it. I tolerate racists, even though I think they're dingbats. I will put up with their free expression. Doesn't mean I'm going to like it, or that I'm going to refrain from telling them they're jackasses :).