NationStates Jolt Archive

This one's for the guys out there:

I'm tired of walking out of the men's room with, well, piss drops all over my pants/shorts. What the hell am I doing wrong?

Thus my appeal: how do you avoid urinal splashback? Has it happened to you, does it happen regularly, and if you've conquered it, what's your secret?

Attach a length of hose and stand at the other side of the room. Or grow a massive cock.

This one's for the guys out there:

I'm tired of walking out of the men's room with, well, piss drops all over my pants/shorts. What the hell am I doing wrong?

Thus my appeal: how do you avoid urinal splashback? Has it happened to you, does it happen regularly, and if you've conquered it, what's your secret?
Wear dark coloured pants.;)

This one's for the guys out there:

I'm tired of walking out of the men's room with, well, piss drops all over my pants/shorts. What the hell am I doing wrong?

Thus my appeal: how do you avoid urinal splashback? Has it happened to you, does it happen regularly, and if you've conquered it, what's your secret?

I pee in the sink. :)

I pee in the sink. :)
Surely that's a lot harder. Sinks are generally up a bit to high to piss in, possibly for that very reason.

Surely that's a lot harder. Sinks are generally up a bit to high to piss in, possibly for that very reason.

True, but you can often rest your junk on the countertop and let it go. Since it doesn't spray as far, there's less splash and if it does, it hits the mirror instead. :)

I pee in the sink. :)
I've found that to cause greater splashage.

Learn how to piss properly?

Or maybe, use the cubicle instead.

True, but you can often rest your junk on the countertop and let it go. Since it doesn't spray as far, there's less splash and if it does, it hits the mirror instead. :)
Interesting. I'm gonna go drink a few bottles of water now. It has nothing to do with this thread.

If you can't piss right, you probably have failed at life.

I just wanted to say that:p

True, but you can often rest your junk on the countertop and let it go. Since it doesn't spray as far, there's less splash and if it does, it hits the mirror instead. :)

You can also brush your teeth while peeing in the sink. Saves a lot of time. :)

Sit down?

...


Sorry :D...

It has...er...much to do with the angle of piss-a-fication. :p

Do you think the moderators will snap at this sort of thread?

I didn't know this problem still existed. The trick it to piss into the bloody water people. That's what it's there for. Yes it makes noise, but you don't get yourself wet. :headbang:

You can also brush your teeth while peeing in the sink. Saves a lot of time. :)

Oh why do I have such a vivid visual imagination? To scar meself for life? Fuck me. :(

Sit down?

...


Sorry :D...
Does he look like a woman?

You can also brush your teeth while peeing in the sink. Saves a lot of time. :)

Or do the dishes. :)

Sink is for dishes not basin.

I've found that to cause greater splashage.
If you're going to piss in the sink, turn both taps on about halfway, then piss into the middle. That way you minimise splashback.

^^Voice of experience^^

If you're going to piss in the sink, turn both taps on about halfway, then piss into the middle. That way you minimise splashback.

^^Voice of experience^^
How many quarter turns is required so as to avoid running water splashage?

How many quarter turns is required so as to avoid running water splashage?
I don't really mind about that, because that dries quickly leaving no mark or dodgy smell. I guess slightly less than halfway, though be sensible about it if you know the taps flow really fast.

Oh, and don't try this in public toilets. Unless there's a really long queue.

Does he look like a woman?

He could sit down in a manly way, and pretend he's having a dump.

Thus my appeal: how do you avoid urinal splashback? Has it happened to you, does it happen regularly, and if you've conquered it, what's your secret?

Have you tried The Bible for answers, my friend?

Have you tried The Bible for answers, my friend?

"And God said to them: thus thou shalt micturate unto the basin wherein others may bath their hands, and thou wilt avoid splashback and robes that stinketh of piss"

Pee along the inside edge of the urinal. If the stream hits the side at a very slight angle the stream looses a lot of its force and any splash goes toward the back of the urinal and wraps around instead of bouncing back at you.

Also, they have urinals in Europe and in some US airports that use this principle to minimize splash-back no matter where you aim.

He could sit down in a manly way, and pretend he's having a dump.
Or like KIng James of England, off the side of his horse.-Or on the horse itself.

"And God said to them: thus thou shalt micturate unto the basin wherein others may bath their hands, and thou wilt avoid splashback and robes that stinketh of piss"

Details, details.

Or like KIng James of England, off the side of his horse.-Or on the horse itself.

Did peeing on the horse minimise splashback?

Did peeing on the horse minimise splashback?
I doubt it highly. After all you have to stay on the horse, so it'd probably spread out towards you. Unless you pissed on someone elses.

Did peeing on the horse minimise splashback?
No it was more of one great slop.

"And God said to them: thus thou shalt micturate unto the basin wherein others may bath their hands, and thou wilt avoid splashback and robes that stinketh of piss"
This only the second place I've ever heard/seen someone use the word 'micturate'. First time was when I saw The Big Lebowski.

By the way, it shouldn't be 'micturate unto', it should be 'micturate into', and it should also read 'God said unto them'. And probably 'bathe their hands' as well.
[/grammarnazi]

This one's for the guys out there:

I'm tired of walking out of the men's room with, well, piss drops all over my pants/shorts. What the hell am I doing wrong?

Thus my appeal: how do you avoid urinal splashback? Has it happened to you, does it happen regularly, and if you've conquered it, what's your secret?
Aim downwards, not directly forwards.

This only the second place I've ever heard/seen someone use the word 'micturate'. First time was when I saw The Big Lebowski.

By the way, it shouldn't be 'micturate unto', it should be 'micturate into', and it should also read 'God said unto them'. And probably 'bathe their hands' as well.
[/grammarnazi]

I'll rectify that :):

"And God unto said to them: thus thou shalt micturate into the basin wherein others may bathe their hands, and thou wilt avoid splashback and robes that stinketh of piss"

No it was more of one great slop.

Are we talking about solids or liquids? :D

Does Hot water affect the splashback?

Someone's already said it... but don't use the urinals. I hate public bathrooms to begin with, but urinals don't help the situation any. :p
Besides, I find it far more comfortable to sit during the process... so long as some monkey pretending to be raised by humans hasn't pissed all over the seat. I hate people who haven't realized they can lift the seat up.

Then there's Option B: Urinating into something soft and absorbent. LIke a sock drawer.

Prefereably somebody else's.

Then there's Option B: Urinating into something soft and absorbent. LIke a sock drawer.

Prefereably somebody else's.

That would explain a lot :eek:

400th post!

Then there's Option B: Urinating into something soft and absorbent. LIke a sock drawer.

Prefereably somebody else's.
Surely that's option C. The sink was option B.

Other things that are soft and absorbent: a cat.

Congrats.

Does Hot water affect the splashback?
Not in my experience.

Only on NSGeneral...

I am for the cookie, try drilling a hole in it, it seems to help.

Well, that and I have no qualms about size comparisons so I don't get that close to the urinal.

Then there's Option B: Urinating into something soft and absorbent. LIke a sock drawer.

Prefereably somebody else's.
Doesn't work as well with an empty sock drawer. Another option is the washing machine. Everything's gonna get washed anyway, so who cares is you piss on them?

Then there's Option B: Urinating into something soft and absorbent. LIke a sock drawer.

Prefereably somebody else's.

And I thought I had a leaky roof. :eek:

Doesn't work as well with an empty sock drawer. Another option is the washing machine. Everything's gonna get washed anyway, so who cares is you piss on them?

You mean like a swimming pool? Everyone's gonna get washed anyway.

Not in my experience.
Does a ceramic basin affect it or is it as good as Stainless steel?

It is certainly funny to joke about peeing in the sink, but in reality-that is possibly one of the most uncivilized things you could do.

Dont stand so close to the urinal and piss down into the bottom-dont get in real close and blast at a 90 degree angle to the back of the urinal-of course its gonna splash back on you.

Make sure you're shoelaces are tied up and not touching the floor before you walk in there too.

And for crying out loud-wash you hands when you're done.

Well, that and I have no qualms about size comparisons so I don't get that close to the urinal.
While entertaining, none of the advice was rather practical.
I agree: Don't hug the urinal.
There's also dark places for late night excursions when public WC aren't open. Its a good idea not to hug those either.

Stand on your tippy toes

Maybe peeing at a controlled rate helps too? Power is nothing without control.

It is certainly funny to joke about peeing in the sink, but in reality-that is possibly one of the most uncivilized things you could do.
No it's not. Taking a dump in the sink is one of the most uncivilized things you could do.

Does a ceramic basin affect it or is it as good as Stainless steel?
I've only ever tried it in ceramic basins, and I've never had any problems with splashback. It's possible in a stainless steel sink that there may be a problem with splashback. I'd say that any basin or sink that's at least half decently designed would prevent any significant splashback.

Stay-Free Peenie Pads--good for the last drop! :D

No it's not. Taking a dump in the sink is one of the most uncivilized things you could do.


Good point. Hopefully, anyone engaged in this practice gets caught in the act by the person who is responsible for cleaning it up. And-they have a hammer in their hand.

Just head to the toilet and sit down. Honestly, I don't know why men are obsessed with the notion that it's unmanly to sit down to piss. It's cleaner--well, unless you're in a public room that's been used by filthy dickheads who can't clean up after themselves--and, I think it's just relaxing to sit down for a minute and do my business. Stretch out your legs, scratch whatever needs scratching... It's a fine break from the world. That's what toilet stalls are for.

:)

Using the toilets that aren't urinals (not sure what they're called outside of England) is an obvious answer. You don't have to sit down on it though. Remember to put the toilet seat up first though!

. . . the toilets that aren't urinals (not sure what they're called outside of England) . . . .

Commodes.

Commodes.
We say cubicle, but that includes the walls and door around the toilet (in public ones). But in America, cubicles are things people work in...

dont stand so close to the Urinal - or aim down, but not strait down at the drain - usually works

I prefer pissing in the shower. Or my roommates bed. while he's in it.

Keep a distance from the urinal. but not too far. 40 cm is okay. 120 cm away is uncivilized.

it's just a matter of angles. work with the best places to hit the urinal to avoid splashback.

if you are unable to do that, just sit down, it makes it a lot easier unless you have a giant cock - which sucks cuz then you have dippage which is much worse.

what I hate is when you let loose and you have two streams heading in different directions!

omg I just had a great idea for a product

urinal bibs! like a cooks apron (made from the same material as those sanitary things you put on the toilet rim - I can't think of the name of those things for teh life of me) with a hole in the front that you can discard afterwards.

It is certainly funny to joke about peeing in the sink, but in reality-that is possibly one of the most uncivilized things you could do.

Dont stand so close to the urinal and piss down into the bottom-dont get in real close and blast at a 90 degree angle to the back of the urinal-of course its gonna splash back on you.

Make sure you're shoelaces are tied up and not touching the floor before you walk in there too.

And for crying out loud-wash you hands when you're done.

Wash my hands?!? After what people do in the sink? Forget it!

I always wind up spraying myself, not from splashback, but from multiple streams of urine which emit shotgun-like from my urethra.

I piss on straughn he is in to that. and he is super absorbent...like cherokee hair.

Or, instead of pissing in a urinal, you could just go into the "cubicle", or th regular bathroom stall, lift the seat up, then piss there. Not only is it better for splash resistance, its more private, AND, there's toilet paper in case you have a drip.

This one's for the guys out there:

I'm tired of walking out of the men's room with, well, piss drops all over my pants/shorts. What the hell am I doing wrong?

Thus my appeal: how do you avoid urinal splashback? Has it happened to you, does it happen regularly, and if you've conquered it, what's your secret?

piss right into the plug hole. or if it's a trough piss directly at the angle between the verticle and the horizontal bit.

what I hate is when you let loose and you have two streams heading in different directions!

That drives me nuts. It's almost like a V-shape, and the worst part is, none of the streams actually make it into the toilet.

That drives me nuts. It's almost like a V-shape, and the worst part is, none of the streams actually make it into the toilet.

you need to stop wanking before going to the toilet. at least that only happens to me when i do that *shifty eyes*

I didn't know this problem still existed. The trick it to piss into the bloody water people. That's what it's there for. Yes it makes noise, but you don't get yourself wet. :headbang:

Or you can flush beforehand, which will accomplish pretty much the same thing.

I didn't know this problem still existed. The trick it to piss into the bloody water people. That's what it's there for. Yes it makes noise, but you don't get yourself wet.:headbang:
NO!

Noise means you lose the game.

That drives me nuts. It's almost like a V-shape, and the worst part is, none of the streams actually make it into the toilet.
They are hydrophobic.

:eek: *Leaves thread*

Now there's a silly question. So here's a sillier answer. How about utilizing the homeless as a living spalshguard shield? You can even pay them if you like so as to make yourself believe that you are doing something positive for the economy as you are doing so. And if the concept bothers you, well, at long last you finally have a good reason to learn how to urinate without splashing the poor unfortunate you've selected as your designated splashguard.

Check, please.

I piss on straughn he is in to that. and he is super absorbent...like cherokee hair.
I'll have to try that out. does he charge extra for those services?

You can also brush your teeth while peeing in the sink. Saves a lot of time. :)
Man, I thought I was the only one who did this!
If you're very clever, you can clean an ear at the same time.
And who said men can't multi-task?

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a152/Hitman_Nick/Goodthread/best_thread_ever.jpg

NO!

Noise means you lose the game.
:D

:D
Pissing should be a secretive thing.
Like a covert operation.

Pissing should be a secretive thing.
Like a covert operation.


I'm told that when girls go to pee at school they take a friend to turn on the hand dryer while they urinate. They also apparently line the water in the toilet with paper so as not to make as much noise. Wierd huh?

I'm told that when girls go to pee at school they take a friend to turn on the hand dryer while they urinate. They also apparently line the water in the toilet with paper so as not to make as much noise. Wierd huh?
I would have imagined turning on the tap would have done the same thing.
Yes Women are a strange breed.

I always find that pissing in the shrubbery is good for avoiding splashback. Course, it's not that simple if you're at work/school.

I always find that pissing in the shrubbery is good for avoiding splashback. Course, it's not that simple if you're at work/school.
But when doing that you have to be careful of your feet.

Why did I have to read this thread while drinking OJ? WHY?

I'm told that when girls go to pee at school they take a friend to turn on the hand dryer while they urinate. They also apparently line the water in the toilet with paper so as not to make as much noise. Wierd huh?

And here I thought Oz was all up to date. Ya'll clearly don't have otohime (http://www.metropolis.co.jp/biginjapanarchive349/323/biginjapaninc.htm) yet... (Someone obviously needs to inform Toto Ltd. that this is not yet another example of Japan's "special unique culture"...)

I heard women don't go tiolet outside of their house.

I heard women don't go toilet outside of their house... much.

Best thread ever.

*waves at Legendary Rock Stars*

I think with urinals it's alll about angle. & not standing too close.

The best way around public toilets is to pick a place outdoors and out of sight (if only temporarily) and piss away. :p

In malls you could always, though, just go find the pillow section. ;)

...

You people scare me. Rather a lot.

For goodness' sake, use the toilet if you have such problems with the urinal! And if you still can't hit the toilet bowl, sit. I've never had problems aiming, but given the prior state of some public toilets I've used it seems I'm largely alone there ...

And for goodness' sake, wash your hands! I know, after what some of the people in this thread have posted I'm rather afraid to as well, but the next time you shake hands with someone, think; has this guy cleansed his hands after urinating?

And of course you don't know. Creepy, isn't it?

Also, Harlesburg, I hope like heck you're in the North Island.

I actually do sit down to pee sometimes. It's better, unless it's an emergency. Come on guys. Get with it. Sitting is easier than standing. :P Consider sitting to pee, the new standing. :cool:

I'd never sit on a public toilet though. Only if utterly necessary, and I'd line the seat with toilet paper. Damn public bathrooms.

And here I thought Oz was all up to date. Ya'll clearly don't have otohime (http://www.metropolis.co.jp/biginjapanarchive349/323/biginjapaninc.htm) yet... (Someone obviously needs to inform Toto Ltd. that this is not yet another example of Japan's "special unique culture"...)

That's outstanding! I can't really see it taking off here though.

My question is: how do you know when you're done? I've often found my brain just doesn't know and I risk pee trickle down my leg. However, on the other hand, it's not enough pee to... well pee, but you can't just stand there shaking it forever...

You could always learn how to pee, or aim for the drain. Then again, I haven't had problems with splash since I was 5 so I'm not the leading expert on this.

Sit down?

...


Sorry :D...

AHA! You're a member of MAPSU (http://www.mapsu.org/), aren't you? BUSTED! :cool:
http://www.mapsu.org/index_files/final.gif

AHA! You're a member of MAPSU (http://www.mapsu.org/), aren't you? BUSTED! :cool:

...And I thought people couldn't find anything else to complain about.

Yet another urine related thread...oh the joy

I usually just take a piss at a certain distance to start off based on knowing how much I have to pee. Then I adjust the distance and angle accordingly. But most of the time I just let fly and aim all over the place. Just to see how much of the inside of the urinal I can get wet!

My question is: how do you know when you're done? I've often found my brain just doesn't know and I risk pee trickle down my leg. However, on the other hand, it's not enough pee to... well pee, but you can't just stand there shaking it forever...
shaking it more than 4 times is just playing with it.

And for goodness' sake, wash your hands! I know, after what some of the people in this thread have posted I'm rather afraid to as well, but the next time you shake hands with someone, think; has this guy cleansed his hands after urinating?you indirectly touch something like 9 penises a day.

if it's one of those abbreviated urinals -- the ones which end at about knee level, with a collecting reservoir -- aim for the water or, if there is no water in the hole, aim for the deodorant cake... in my experience, the cake thing allows less urine-rebound than the ceramic walls of the urinal itself.

if it means that much just piss yourself->shower->change it doesn’t take a genius to know that pissing in your worst pants is better than your best pants smelling of urine

Alternately use a toilet I do but mainly because I’m bladder shy (yes it is real and no I'm happy with my penis)

omg I just had a great idea for a product

urinal bibs! like a cooks apron (made from the same material as those sanitary things you put on the toilet rim - I can't think of the name of those things for teh life of me) with a hole in the front that you can discard afterwards.

come on! noone thought that this was a good idea? it'lls ell dammit. I just need someone to invest some money...

shaking it more than 4 times is just playing with it.

you indirectly touch something like 9 penises a day.

while I was sitting in a stall the other day doing my thing, the guy in the third stall down from me got up, flushed the toilet, and left the bathroom without washing his hands.

"Nice," I thought. "I want to touch the CRAP you just left on the door handle."

Cripes. Great way to promote work-place hygiene.

I only piss standing when I have a raging hard-on.
For the most part I sit down, of course as in any public place, massive wiping of the seat is required. HOW THE FUCK DO PEOPLE GET DROPLETS OF LIQUID ON THE SEAT?!

Messy people in the world.

Attach a length of hose and stand at the other side of the room. Or grow a massive cock.

In my observation, the massive dick just leads to a more turbulent flow. That is to say my stream can come out at just about any angle. Of course, in a public bathroom, just stand in the middle of the room and let loose the dogs of war!

I only piss standing when I have a raging hard-on.
For the most part I sit down, of course as in any public place, massive wiping of the seat is required. HOW THE FUCK DO PEOPLE GET DROPLETS OF LIQUID ON THE SEAT?!

Messy people in the world.

I worked as a janitor for a while. Believe it or not, I found more urine on the women's room seats than the men's! :confused:

Pee to the corners. Also, tried to aim for the hole, if the urinal cake isn't coverning it already. Yes, I pay attention to these studip things.:)

Either your urethral opening is monstrously large, or you've failed to grasp the concept of pissing at a downward angle towards the stall's drain. In any case, I'm afraid I can't assist.