NationStates Jolt Archive

Well?

Also, you know the drill: there will be no poll.

the new film based on Jennifer government *running followed by gunshots*

but seriously son of the mask made me walk out and I would do the same thing again and again no matter who I'm doing the popcorn trick on:D

the new King Kong(2005) made me vomit. The old one(1933) was so good, and this one was insultingly bad. Followed by Jurassic Park III for insulting the first one.

King Ralph

I stayed through the entire movie, only to discover it got worse as it went along. It was so utterly pointless, I'm amazed if anyone liked it.

Timeline. By the end of the film, i wanted the characters to die. Preferably in a very horrible way.

Napoleon Dynamite. *shudders*

the new King Kong(2005) made me vomit. The old one(1933) was so good, and this one was insultingly bad. Followed by Jurassic Park III for insulting the first one.

Jurassic Park III is my favourite one in the trilogy.:(
The second one was crap, because it didn't have sam niel in it.

Leonard Part VI

Freddy Got Fingered (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0240515/)... I can't remember a more painful excuse for a film. :mad:

The Sum of All Fears. Fantastic book, but worst adaption to film I've ever seen.

I stayed through the entire movie, only to discover it got worse as it went along. It was so utterly pointless, I'm amazed if anyone liked it.
That movie was funny. The first half was a bad showtime porno and the second half was a really shitty horror movie. Although in it's defense the ending after the last survivor gets on the train wasn't that bad.


The answer to worst movie is Teenage Caveman.

House of the Dead.

Crappiest movie ever?

Meet Joe Black.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119643/

Awfull awfull awfull movie.

The 3 crappiest movies I have ever seen are, in order of least crappy to most:

1: Van Helsing (Poor special effects combined with bad acting, no plot and irritating repitition.)

2: Jerry (This movie was two hours long and literally 75% of it was footage of two guys walking through the desert without saying anything to one another.)

3: Spy Kids (I really honestly do not understand who would have gone to see the second and third movies after the first one.)

Gilgio?
Some dumb movie with Jalo and Ben Affleck!:sniper:

Lets see....I think it's a tie between several movies.

House of the Dead
Alone in the Dark
Bloodrayne
Dungeon Siege (Unreleased)
Farcry (Unreleased)
Postal (Unreleased)

Huh, all directed by Uwe Boll. I wonder if that's just coincidence?

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
is that a real movie?

House of the Dead, with all the blatant SEGA references in there, as though that company is still relevant (the fact it needs this movie to advertise itself proves it isn't).

is that a real movie?
Unfortunely yes http://imdb.com/title/tt0058548/

Speaking of santa, I think they should turn that movie from Family Guy where Kiss saves Santa into a real movie. That would be hilarious.

Speaking of santa, I think they should turn that movie from Family Guy where Kiss saves Santa into a real movie. That would be hilarious.
yes, yes it would

Little Women is one of the worst movies ever.

is that a real movie?
Hang your head in SHAME (http://www.horror-wood.com/martian.htm), Swatila.


http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0002W4U9I.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

Battlefield Earth and Equilibrium

Lets see....I think it's a tie between several movies.

House of the Dead
Alone in the Dark
Bloodrayne
Dungeon Siege (Unreleased)
Farcry (Unreleased)
Postal (Unreleased)

Huh, all directed by Uwe Boll. I wonder if that's just coincidence?


Is "postal" based on that game where you piss on people's faces and then they throw up, by any chance?

Napoleon Dynamite. *shudders*
*vomits*

Mars Attacks!

It had an exclamation point in the title for God's sake...

Doom

"Hey! Let's make a movie off of one of the most popular first person shooters, but make the movie nothing like the game!"

Doom

"Hey! Let's make a movie off of one of the most popular first person shooters, but make the movie nothing like the game!"
yes, it is a stupit concept.

The crappiest (http://www.tstonramp.com/~rogercsr/crapper.html) film (http://www.galegroup.com/archivalsolutions/images/Vault1.jpg) I've ever seen (http://static.flickr.com/39/76912627_4502887154.jpg) has to be (http://img446.imageshack.us/img446/2883/bushsign1ir.jpg), beyond (http://www.physics.emory.edu/~weeks/sea/beyond-fantasy-fiction/5307.jpg) the shadow (http://www.philcoradioplayers.com/graphics/shadow3.jpg) of a doubt (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doubt),

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxEd Wood's (http://encyclopedia.laborlawtalk.com/wiki/images/thumb/d/d2/200px-Edwood1.jpg)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"JAIL BAIT" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0047127/)

http://www.publicdomaintorrents.com/grabs/jailbaitgrab.jpg

Ed used a Mariachi band for the soundtrack on this one. It's excruciating to watch... so awful, in fact I think it's
strictly for craven Ed Wood masochists like me to endure.

The crappiest (http://www.tstonramp.com/~rogercsr/crapper.html) film (http://www.galegroup.com/archivalsolutions/images/Vault1.jpg) I've ever seen (http://static.flickr.com/39/76912627_4502887154.jpg) has to be (http://img446.imageshack.us/img446/2883/bushsign1ir.jpg), beyond (http://www.physics.emory.edu/~weeks/sea/beyond-fantasy-fiction/5307.jpg) the shadow (http://www.philcoradioplayers.com/graphics/shadow3.jpg) of a doubt (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doubt),

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxEd Wood's (http://encyclopedia.laborlawtalk.com/wiki/images/thumb/d/d2/200px-Edwood1.jpg)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"JAIL BAIT" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0047127/)

http://www.publicdomaintorrents.com/grabs/jailbaitgrab.jpg

Ed used a Mariachi band for the soundtrack on this one. It's excruciating to watch... so awful, in fact I think it's
strictly for craven Ed Wood masochists like me to endure.
Does Jailbait mean in this film the modern meaning?

Undoubtably The Horror Within recieves this dubious honor. I didn't have many high hopes for it however, since I found it in the Ultra-Clearance bin at Walmart.

It's alternately released as Evil Remains.

When it comes to knowing about some of the worst films I am king.

Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe
A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell
Pterodactyl Woman From Beverly Hills

"Attack of the Killer Shrews" was pretty bad (or good if your into that kinda thing).

Any chick flick is an insult to human intelligence.

Hostel was pretty bad too.

When it comes to knowing about some of the worst films I am king.

Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe
A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell
Pterodactyl Woman From Beverly Hills

In that vein, I think Yor, The Hunter From the Future would fit in nicely. I haven't seen that one, but I've read reviews, seen exerpts, and read some lines from it. (My friends and I were on a crusade to find crappy movies this fall...we researched these movies as well as possible without actually seeing it.)

Movie that I found crappy that everyone else seemed to love? Moulin Rouge T_T.

Movie that everyone thought was crappy and I agreed? Battlefield Earth.

TBH, I hated Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. It might just be the one I despise the most; atleast that they've made yet.

Worst scene goes to Goblet of Fire though, for his sappy "I love magic."


The Butterfly Effect was pretty shitty too, could've just been Kutcher, though.

In that vein, I think Yor, The Hunter From the Future would fit in nicely.

And Manos: Hands of Fate.

And Manos: Hands of Fate.
Easily the worst film ever shown on MST3K. Though Santa Clause Conquers the Martians came in at a close second.

The Blob is up there, in a tie with Killer Space Tomatoes Aliens (whatever its actually called) and Killer Mutant Teenage Vampires from Outer Space.

The crappiest movie of all time was—by a country mile—"Andy Warhol's Lonesome Cowboys." This was an actual movie that escaped in about 1969. I would be surprised if ANYONE out there has ever seen it. You'll never find any reference to it anywhere. At least I haven't been able to. And yes, it was about gay cowboys. It predated Brokeback Mountain by over 35 years.

The second worst was "I Am Curious Yellow." It wasn't even campy.

Napoleon Dynamite. *shudders*

I fully agree, that movie made all the way to 55 on my movies-that-suck-o-meter

I vote for Planet of The Apes. ALL OF THEM. Especailly the 2001 version. Oh.....My... God......:headbang:

I vote for Planet of The Apes. ALL OF THEM. Especailly the 2001 version. Oh.....My... God......:headbang:
Those were pretty bad. So was every single freaking Star Wars film. Especially TESB. It dragged on and on and ON...and while I--III were all shiny, shiny does not a good story make. Star Wars does not a good story make.

Movie that I found crappy that everyone else seemed to love? Moulin Rouge T_T.

Movie that everyone thought was crappy and I agreed? Battlefield Earth.


Oh my god you READ MY MIND!! These were the absolute worst!!!! Nicole Kidman Singing???

Yor: The Hunter from the Future wasn't so bad. When offered a 14 year old for a "wife" he refused which puts him on a slightly higher moral plane than the average hunter from the future. Although the fact that blonde people were considered superior in that movie was a bit of a worry. (Maybe if the 14 year old had been blonde Yor wouldn't have been so fast to knock her back?)

I just saw Stick It at the movie theater. Long story about how that happened. But oh god was it awful. On the plus side, I probably got about a half-hour of sleep during it.

The 3 crappiest movies I have ever seen are, in order of least crappy to most:

1: Van Helsing (Poor special effects combined with bad acting, no plot and irritating repitition.)

2: Jerry (This movie was two hours long and literally 75% of it was footage of two guys walking through the desert without saying anything to one another.)

3: Spy Kids (I really honestly do not understand who would have gone to see the second and third movies after the first one.)


Dear Sir, you do not see cinema, you watch movies. Gerry by Gus Van Sant is a very interesting piece of film, too bad you only watched it. Good day to you.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

People other than me have seen this! :eek: Man that was a horrible movie. It gets my vote as the crappiest movie I've ever seen.

Though there was one with a vulture as a narrator that made horrible puns, but I don't remember that movie much or what it was called. That was pretty bad.

I have a scale for rating movies, a rank system from 1 to 10.
10 is for the absolute best movies, the films that are borderline perfection.
A 4-6 is average. Certainly worth watching once or twice.
A 3 is worth watching once, despite the bad parts.
A 2 is not really worth watching. There may be one good line or scene, or not, but the film is pretty much a waste of time unless you're REALLY bored.
1 is for Ang Lee's The Hulk. Everything else, from Troll II to Manos: The Hand of Fate, is at least a 2.

Dear Sir, you do not see cinema, you watch movies. Gerry by Gus Van Sant is a very interesting piece of film, too bad you only watched it. Good day to you.


Gus Van Sant???? :confused: Are you kidding? This guy is one of the lonliest hacks in the industry. Did anyone see his remake of Psycho? Now thats one for the top 10 list of crappiest films. Gerry was awful, as well as My Own Private Idaho and Elephant. Bad scripts passed off as arthouse shlock. Ugh...

I have a scale for rating movies, a rank system from 1 to 10.
10 is for the absolute best movies, the films that are borderline perfection.
A 4-6 is average. Certainly worth watching once or twice.
A 3 is worth watching once, despite the bad parts.
A 2 is not really worth watching. There may be one good line or scene, or not, but the film is pretty much a waste of time unless you're REALLY bored.
1 is for Ang Lee's The Hulk. Everything else, from Troll II to Manos: The Hand of Fate, is at least a 2.

I watched the hulk yesterday, its alright, a 6/10 I suppose. a lot of the time people just get pissed off cos something is either not as good as the original or not the film it could have been. stuff like hulk and the marky mark italian job may not live up to the source material, but tehy are decent films in their own right. and stuff like the day after tomorrow, or Face off, while they could have been very intelligent movies instead of what they were, were still pretty good. especially face off.

my crappiest movie - Jackie Brown. not that its all that bad, its just the only film I can think of that took me by surprise when I disliked it. I love elmore leonard and tarantino, and it pissed me off.

Starcrash. Period.

If it appears on Sci-Fi theres a good chance it is in competition for worst movie ever. God some of those movies are so terrible.

Blue Velvet and Bar Fly.

Shark Boy and Lava Girl.

Don't ask me why.

I'm usually a pretty good judge of movies. I can tell when they are going to suck, and as such, don't see them.

Ultraviolet however, was one of my less than perfect decisions. I liked Wimmer's first gun-fu movie, Equilibrium, and I was hoping this would live up.

I though wrong...It made me laugh and cry, and not in the good ways.

Anaconda was pretty shithouse.

It didn't help that in one shot, they had obviously reversed it because the waterfall in the background was going up..

Guys, the worst movie of all time is Troll 2. This is not debateable. If any of you have seen it, you know what I mean.

http://www.badmovieplanet.com/unknownmovies/reviews/rev125.html

To Kill a Mockingbird.
One of the most brilliant books ever written, translated into a movie so choppy that it skipped the entire concept of racism prevelant throughout the book. Hey, I have an idea, let's take this inspiring and culturally independant book and make a movie that plows right into the final scene with nothing in-between.

movies like pokemon are extremely bad and I wish they would just stop and burn them all