NationStates Jolt Archive

For those who keep telling us that the war on terrorism only takes away the rights of terrorists and not ordinary citizens, let us see what the government tells us a terrorist looks like.

From MojoBlog (http://www.motherjones.com/mojoblog/index.html):

How to spot a terrorist

I really had no idea how to spot a terrorist until I studied the manuals published by the Phoenix FBI, the state employees of Virginia, and the Texas Department of Public Safety. Now that I have absorbed these manuals, I not only know how to spot a terrorist, but I have discovered that I probably am a terrorist.

The Phoenix FBI manual (http://www.infowars.com/constitutional_terrorists.htm) was published while Clinton was still president. The Joint Terrorism Task Force was formed to "help preserve the American way of life." Its flyer requested that citizens contact the task force if they saw any of the following:

Defenders of the U.S. Constitution against federal government and the UN
Groups of individuals engaging in para-military training
Those who make numerous references to the U.S. Constitution
Those who attempt to police the police
Lone individuals
Rebels

The Phoenix Sheriff's Office did not care for the flyer, and it had a short life.

On to Virginia...This manual (http://prisonplanet.com/articles/march2006/280306trainingmanual.htm)tells us to beware of the following people:

Members of anti-government and militia movements
Property rights activists
Members of racist, separatist, and hate groups
Environmental and animal rights activists
Religious extremists
Members of street gangs

According to the authorities in Virginia, terrorists stand out in the crowd because of the stuff they carry:

Sketch pads or notebooks
Maps or charts
Still or video cameras
Hand-held tape recorders
SCUBA equipment
disguises

And finally, there's Texas, whose manual (http://www.infowars.com/articles/ps/texas_training_pamphlet_nice_guys.htm) shares with us some characteristics of terrorists:

Focused and committed
Team-oriented and disciplined
Familiar with their physical environments
Employ a variety of vehicles and communicate by cell phone, email, or text messaging
Try not to draw attention to themselves
Look like students, tourists, or businesspersons
Travel in a mixed group of men, women, and children
Avoid confrontations with law enforcement
Use disguises or undergo cosmetic surgery

Well, there you are. Could someone pick you out of the crowd as a terrorist? As an emailing, camera-toting, focused and committed animal rights activist who sometimes looks like a businesswoman, frequently references the Constitution, and still has some leftover costumes from my years in New Orleans, I'm as good as gone.

Scared yet?

OMFG! I'm a terrorist! Why don't my friends tell me these things?!

So, a terrorist is a person that knows a lot about the US Constitution? Extremely convenient, labeling those that know their rights as potential threats...

I once threw a milk bomb in a cafeteria. :p

Well lets see

Defenders of the U.S. Constitution against federal government and the UN
Those who make numerous references to the U.S. Constitution
Those who attempt to police the police
Lone individuals
Rebels
Environmental and animal rights activists
Sketch pads or notebooks
Maps or charts
Still or video cameras
Hand-held tape recorders
disguises - Halloween
Focused and committed
Team-oriented and disciplined
Familiar with their physical environments
Employ a variety of vehicles and communicate by cell phone, email, or text messaging
Look like students, tourists, or businesspersons
Travel in a mixed group of men, women, and children


Well I guess I am off to Gitmo any moment.....

I didn't know I was a terrorist. You learn something new every day! ;)

I once threw a milk bomb in a cafeteria. :p

Wuss. Try flushing an M80!

A couple of days ago, I got off a train and walked a 1-hour loop through Birmingham city centre alone without saying a word to anyone, pausing at half a dozen establishments to type a note into my phone, before returning to the train station and boarding the next train out.

Classic terrorist behaviour. :eek:

Actually I was scouting for venues for the Birmingham NS Meet. :rolleyes:

But hey. If winning the War on Tehrr means criminalising everyday behaviour, that's a sacrifice we must make. :rolleyes:

The Texas manual seems to describe plainclothes policement quite well...

A couple of days ago, I got off a train and walked a 1-hour loop through Birmingham city centre alone without saying a word to anyone, pausing at half a dozen establishments to type a note into my phone, before returning to the train station and boarding the next train out.

Classic terrorist behaviour. :eek:

Actually I was scouting for venues for the Birmingham NS Meet. :rolleyes:

But hey. If winning the War on Tehrr means criminalising everyday behaviour, that's a sacrifice we must make. :rolleyes:


Naah! We know you are just a commie. ;)

Wewt, I know shit all about the american constitution, I'm not a terrorist!
*returns to making pipe bombs*

my husband is being searched more than ever as he goes in and out of the country.

he doesnt fit the profile of a terrorist but he IS short, dark haired and has a moustache

plus he's been everywhere that one might not want to go. for example he just went from china to turkey on business. he noticed that he was the only one who had to open his suitcase. twice.

it may be because his hand/fingerprints are too light for the machine to pick up so he isnt on the frequent traveller list even though he is a frequent traveller. maybe not going through that process is considered suspicious?

when i travel the only people who worry me are those you are very nervous before getting on the plane. especially if they are young men. i tell myself that many people are scared of flying and that these people are SO obvious that they must be getting checked out by the airline staff.

Focused and committed
Team-oriented and disciplined
Familiar with their physical environments
Employ a variety of vehicles and communicate by cell phone, email, or text messaging
Try not to draw attention to themselves
Look like students, tourists, or businesspersons
Travel in a mixed group of men, women, and children
Avoid confrontations with law enforcement
Use disguises or undergo cosmetic surgery
Does this not describe "an American family" pretty well?

Wuss. Try flushing an M80!

Unfortunately, my access to high quality explosives was limited.

Well, unfortunate for me. Fortunate for those that know me. :p

The Texas manual seems to describe plainclothes policement quite well...

Texas Policemen aren't terrorists :confused: ;)

I should write a book some day..."If You Give a Terrost a Bomb..."

That's settles it. I'm officially a Terrorist.

That's settles it. I'm officially a Terrorist.
You were a terrorist far earlier. Your nation name is suspicious, you're from Canada, and you're an extreme leftist ('extreme' meaning anything left of John Kerry, the dirty commies!).

Unfortunately I'm Guantanamo-bound too by these rules. Makes me feel fortunate I don't live in Arizona, Texas, or Virginia.

How to spot a terrorist:

When someone has a bomb-strapped to his chest, and is yelling Allah Ackbar, there is a 70% chance he is a terrorist.

How to spot a terrorist:

When someone has a bomb-strapped to his chest, and is yelling Allah Ackbar, there is a 70% chance he is a terrorist.

Or just anyone with a bomb strapped to his chest.

I think they should also add "athletic". I doubt any NRA guy struggling for breath in the frozen food section is going to be a credible terrorist. So really you're looking at gym members and yuppies who go jogging after work.

How to spot a terrorist:

When someone has a bomb-strapped to his chest, and is yelling "Allah Ackbar", there is a 70% chance he is a terrorist.
The chance goes up to 75% if he's standing near the Statue of Liberty and/or the U.S. Capitol. And 76% if he's wearing a big sign on his back pointing down at him and saying "I AM A TERRORIST".

I once threw a milk bomb in a cafeteria. :p

Milk ... Bomb? How is such a device constructed?
















/Is sad at the waste of milk. :(

Is sad at the waste of milk. :(
Not if it was UHT. :D

That's settles it. I'm officially a Terrorist.

A terrorist with cakes? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

A terrorist with cakes? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Yellowcake. Duh. :rolleyes:

Bought off a rich white American woman blacked up as a native of Niger. :p

Or just anyone with a bomb strapped to his chest.

Don't you steriotype ;-)


I must fit the profile, because every ferry, airplane, and sports areama I've entered in the past few years, I done get randomlly pulled asside and super searched. Like, take off your boots, we'll ganna empty your pack and unzip all your CD wallets and pat you down and shit searched.

For those who keep telling us that the war on terrorism only takes away the rights of terrorists and not ordinary citizens, let us see what the government tells us a terrorist looks like.
*snip*
How come I'm not at all surprised? :rolleyes:

I wonder how they spot a communist then.:)

hey, how about this. i'm a terrorist because i wore an orange jumpsuit (http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h211/infiniterevolution/IMG_3904.jpg) to a halloeen party.

nb. this was before guantanamo came to the fore, i was meant to be a pumpkin, no bad taste intended :p.

I wonder how they spot a communist then.:)

Be on the lookout for commies! They take your things and are evil!

Here are the signs of a typical communist :

1) Has many friends
2) Shows a support for social welfare
3) Has the artistic skills to produce a "Red Fist" banner
4) Often speaks several languages (a sign of an internationalist communist)
5) Often buys drinks for aquaintances in pubs/bars
6) Shows great joy at the mention of the word "October"
7) Supports non-violence, but attacks when necessary.
8) Grows facial hair (esp. red beards and large moustaches)

If you see these scourges to our way of life, arm yourself with whatever you have to hand and bludgeon/stab/beat the commies to death!

The terrorists.

They walk among us.

And some of them. They don't even know that they're terrorists.

Are you a terrorist? If you think you might be a terrorist or have terrorist leanings, please call your local FBI field office immediately. Terrorism is not an unreversible disease in those who are unaware that they have it. It can indeed be cured with years of intensive therapy and re-education.

And remember to buy war bonds!

Buying war bonds ensures continued American supremecy, worldwide!

I wonder how they spot a communist then.:)

When someone doesn't charge $500 to talk to for an hour. Talking for free is against capitalism. :p

Bush is a terrorist.

my husband is being searched more than ever as he goes in and out of the country.

he doesnt fit the profile of a terrorist but he IS short, dark haired and has a moustache

plus he's been everywhere that one might not want to go. for example he just went from china to turkey on business. he noticed that he was the only one who had to open his suitcase. twice.

it may be because his hand/fingerprints are too light for the machine to pick up so he isnt on the frequent traveller list even though he is a frequent traveller. maybe not going through that process is considered suspicious?

when i travel the only people who worry me are those you are very nervous before getting on the plane. especially if they are young men. i tell myself that many people are scared of flying and that these people are SO obvious that they must be getting checked out by the airline staff.Nope, the bold part is what does it. The American populace has a general distrust for bearded people. Comes from making Hitler, Hirohito, Stalin, Marx, Osama bin Laden, etc. public enemies. When's the last time we had a president with a moustache? :p

Be on the lookout for commies! They take your things and are evil!

Here are the signs of a typical communist :

1) Has many friends
2) Shows a support for social welfare
3) Has the artistic skills to produce a "Red Fist" banner
4) Often speaks several languages (a sign of an internationalist communist)
5) Often buys drinks for aquaintances in pubs/bars
6) Shows great joy at the mention of the word "October"
7) Supports non-violence, but attacks when necessary.
8) Grows facial hair (esp. red beards and large moustaches)

If you see these scourges to our way of life, arm yourself with whatever you have to hand and bludgeon/stab/beat the commies to death!Reminds me of this:
"When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist".
Dom Helder Camera -former archbishop of Olinda, Recife, Brasil,1984

I am wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. This makes me both a terrorist and a communist.

I thought I saw a terrorist the other day on a bus. He had curly hair! :eek: he also had a rucksack. So he might have been a tourist hmmm, maybe a jewish tourist!! So easy to get terrorists and tourists mixed up!

I thought I saw a terrorist the other day on a bus. He had curly hair! :eek: he also had a rucksack. So he might have been a tourist hmmm, maybe a jewish tourist!! So easy to get terrorists and tourists mixed up!


Tourerists?

The part that most studified me was the "looks like a student, tourist or businessperson" bit. I mean, who DOESN'T look like a student, tourist or businessperson? Apart from farmers, of course...

Why did nobody tell me I was a terrorist? I might have killed someone! Or worse, apparently, attempted to save the very fabric of the country, which we "terrorists" call the "Constitution"!

The part that most studified me was the "looks like a student, tourist or businessperson" bit. I mean, who DOESN'T look like a student, tourist or businessperson? Apart from farmers, of course...
Well, yeah. If you aren't a farmer, you're a terrorist. Everyone knows that! The unibomber was, correct me if I'm wrong, from OKLAHOMA and bade the bomb at a FARM, so that means that farmer's can't be terrorists. right?


I can make the NSA watch me! President airplane bomb kill assasinate NSA FBI CIA DHS Communist Terrorist "Gili was a good movie"

According to the authorities in Virginia, terrorists stand out in the crowd because of the stuff they carry:

Sketch pads or notebooks
Maps or charts
Still or video cameras
Hand-held tape recorders
SCUBA equipment
disguises

Sounds more like 'How to spot a Tourist'.. perhaps it was just a typo?

I can see it now..

'So, how were your holidays?'

'Oh, they started out great, I got out my notebook to plan the day, grabbed a map of the area and set out. First were photos at the scenic sites, and we videotaped some swans on the lake. It turns out there was SCUBA diving in the lake! It was great fun, afterward we planned to go to the fancy dress ball when we were surrounded by FBI and locked up for two weeks. Not a great end, but it was sure fun for those five hours!'

Ah, good ol' Texas.
I can always count on them to be sensible and moderate.:rolleyes:

What the... O_O
Though just so we're not jumping off the deep end, can anybody find these manuals online just to make sure? Or are they "classified?" :rolleyes:

I always look for a guy trying to light his sneaker...

What the... O_O
Though just so we're not jumping off the deep end, can anybody find these manuals online just to make sure? Or are they "classified?" :rolleyes:
Most probably propagandistic far leftie junk to make lefties think all righties are nuts. I hate propaganda. It irks me to no end.

Most probably propagandistic far leftie junk to make lefties think all righties are nuts. I hate propaganda. It irks me to no end.

What do you expect? Right handed people have a prejudice against left handed people.

What do you expect? Right handed people have a prejudice against left handed people.

They're just jealous that we're smarter than they are. :cool:

I always look for a guy trying to light his sneaker...

I always look for the guy with the lights in his sneakers. They're up to something, those bastards.

ive heard terrorists like to use this disguise...

http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/8370/fuzyglasses4qm.jpg

well according to the american dad comercial, terrorist never laugh.

so you buy american dad season one dvd, show it to your friends. and if they dont laugh, you kill them :mp5:

That's settles it. I'm officially a Terrorist.

A Terrorist with Cake bombs, no less! Quickly, summon the police before cream-filled pastries start exploding in our face!

*is hauled off to some detention camp by a random Texas Ranger*

Wait a secound. You aren't alowed to be a property rights activist in the United fucking States of America?

What the... O_O
Though just so we're not jumping off the deep end, can anybody find these manuals online just to make sure? Or are they "classified?" :rolleyes:Uh... did you try clicking on any of the links in the OP?

;) You might try there first...

According to the authorities in Virginia, terrorists stand out in the crowd because of the stuff they carry:

Sketch pads or notebooks
Maps or charts
Still or video cameras
Hand-held tape recorders
SCUBA equipment
disguises
Yes, well. I think some bloke wandering the streets in scuba gear and carrying a video camera is bound to stand out, just a tad.

Good on the terrorists, I say. Making it easier for law enforcement officials to spot them like that. Who said they weren't thinking of us?

If a guy look like this: http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a300/tescosuicide/Alicia/Mohammed-bomb.jpg

you're pretty sure it's a terrorist.

Scared yet?

Obviously, you've forgotten the numerous Democratic and Republican administrations going back to the 1950s, who, like the government agencies of today, defined the "enemy" as anyone who posed a threat to the status quo - anyone with different ideas, or even an ability to communicate with one another freely. People who own guns. People who own a ham radio. People who are outdoor types. People who talk about politics.

You should have been born scared - this is what the Founding Fathers warned us about over 200 years ago - the tyranny of government. And you act like it's something new, ROFLMAO.

ZOMG, I'm not a terrorist....I may be a Non-Racist Confederate/Socialist/Unionist/Federalist....but I sure as hell am for the Union!

Weeee, thats a lot in one....

OMG Cat-Tribe, I was always afraid of you........now it's for different reasons entirely.

:eek:

*also, now I am afraid of my husband, my father in law, my 4 year old, my sunday school teacher.........and MYSELF!!!!!

A Terrorist with Cake bombs, no less! Quickly, summon the police before cream-filled pastries start exploding in our face!
TC can whipped-cream carpetbomb me anyday! ;)

Besides, who needs police... we can always just head to Florida...

Be on the lookout for commies! They take your things and are evil!

Here are the signs of a typical communist :

1) Has many friends
2) Shows a support for social welfare
3) Has the artistic skills to produce a "Red Fist" banner
4) Often speaks several languages (a sign of an internationalist communist)
5) Often buys drinks for aquaintances in pubs/bars
6) Shows great joy at the mention of the word "October"
7) Supports non-violence, but attacks when necessary.
8) Grows facial hair (esp. red beards and large moustaches)

If you see these scourges to our way of life, arm yourself with whatever you have to hand and bludgeon/stab/beat the commies to death!
This describes me! Oh noes! I have friends, support social welfare cos I'm Irish, can speak Irish and French and a tiny bit of duhn-duhn-DUHN Russian, buy drinks for people on a regular basis, my birthday is in October, am pretty pacifistic and currently covered in fuzzy facial hair.

Meaning I have to beat myself to death with my own arm! NOES!

What's scarier about this is it shows just how willing these people are to make this stuff match their personal agenda. I mean, seriously, this labels people who care about the Constitution terrorists.

How to spot a communist:

http://www.northernsun.com/n/s/1030.html?id=7GP467Be

Yellowcake. Duh. :rolleyes:

Bought off a rich white American woman blacked up as a native of Niger. :p

Terrorists buying Yellow Cakes sold by a white American woman?

OMFG SARA LEE IS A TERRORIST FINANCIER!!

According to the criteria (Jeez, I'm using that word a lot, lately) I am a terrorist, everyone in my family is a terrorist, all my friends are terrorists. :confused:

I just look for brown, dark haired people sporting turbans and large beards, with bomb shaped bulges protruding from their robes and blinking/beeping remote control thingies in their hands.

To confirm my suspisions, I would walk up to him and say, "The muslim God is called Alem." At which point he'd correct me by yelling "ALLAH!!!" at the top of his lungs and sqeezing his remote.

Luckily, I carry a SWPDB (Space Warping Personal Defense Bubble) with me at all times.

LOL!! Speaking of religious activists I think my old Christian school is using brainwash to raise an army to take over the government.:(

LOL!! Speaking of religious activists I think my old Christian school is using brainwash to raise an army to take over the government.:(

Who isn't these days?

How to spot a communist:

http://www.northernsun.com/n/s/1030.html?id=7GP467Be

Why the f***ing hell is Lenin smoking a cigar?

Why the f***ing hell is Lenin smoking a cigar?



.................because that's not Lenin, it's Groucho Marx, perhapse?

Avoid confrontations with law enforcement


I think this just made everyone a terrorist...

Who does want confrontations with law enforcement? Even if you are innocent it sets you back a minimum of 50 bucks! :mad:

Who does want confrontations with law enforcement? Even if you are innocent it sets you back a minimum of 50 bucks! :mad:

So thrill seekers and people looking for suicide by cop are good citizens while everybody else is a terrorist? Wow...

So thrill seekers and people looking for suicide by cop are good citizens while everybody else is a terrorist? Wow...

Yay! America will finally become a country of bungee-jumpers! :D

I didn't know I was a terrorist...

:eek:

Avoid confrontations with law enforcement

I think this just made everyone a terrorist...

Who does want confrontations with law enforcement? Even if you are innocent it sets you back a minimum of 50 bucks! :mad:
Wait -- does this mean that if I go around kicking cops in the nuts, I'm NOT a terrorist? Hmm....

Be on the lookout for commies! They take your things and are evil!

Here are the signs of a typical communist :

1) Has many friends
2) Shows a support for social welfare
3) Has the artistic skills to produce a "Red Fist" banner
4) Often speaks several languages (a sign of an internationalist communist)
5) Often buys drinks for aquaintances in pubs/bars
6) Shows great joy at the mention of the word "October"
7) Supports non-violence, but attacks when necessary.
8) Grows facial hair (esp. red beards and large moustaches)

If you see these scourges to our way of life, arm yourself with whatever you have to hand and bludgeon/stab/beat the commies to death!

Has many friends- my 12 year old sister, me, Keith
Shows a suport for social welfare- me
has the artistic skills to produce a "red fist" banner- my friend Keith
Often speaks several languages-keith
Often buys drink for aquaintances in pubs/bars- nobody I know
Shows great joy at the mention of the word OCtober- nobody I know
Suports non-violence, but attacks when necessary- me, Keith
Grows facial hair- Kieth.

ACK!!! KEITH IS A COMMIE!