NationStates Jolt Archive

Durring school today, they had a car crash set up outside the school and had students getting arrested and one put in a body bag.. to show what drinking can do to you and how it's bad to drink and drive. They did this because prom is coming up.

Well after that whole thing was over, I was walking around the halls skipping 7th period. I went into the classroom of the teacher who put this all together and talked to her and some other people, she said "When you become a parent, you see things in a whole new way."

Is this true? Have you changed your feelings on things you once did?

And if you don't have kids yet.. do you plan on changing your views and morals when you become a parent?

When you're a teen, you have only your own life in your hands when you behave recklessly (assuming that behaviour hurts no one else). You tend to focus inward, and not consider the ramifications to others. When you are a parent, you become responsible for the life and wellbeing of another human in a very real, very immediate way. When that child becomes a teen and behaves recklessly, you are thinking about them, and not about yourself...you fear more for them than you do yourself. So yes, your perspective changes. When you're a parent, it can not longer be just about you.

Mind you, you don't need to be a parent for your perspective to change. Hold the hand of a child run over by a drunk driver, and then tell her parents you did your best, but that you could not save the life of their daughter.

That'll whip you into shape.

Mind you, you don't need to be a parent for your perspective to change. Hold the hand of a child run over by a drunk driver, and then tell her parents you did your best, but that you could not save the life of their daughter.

That'll whip you into shape.
Good point. Parenthood isn't the only catalyst for looking beyond yourself.

Good point. Parenthood isn't the only catalyst for looking beyond yourself.

Well, that would be a little depreciative of infertile people.

Well, that would be a little depreciative of infertile people.
Yes, well as the OP referred specifically to parenthood...

Yes, well as the OP referred specifically to parenthood...
I know. I'm NOT judging anyone. (not is capitalised because I missed out the whole word in the original post)

I know. I'm NOT judging anyone.
Just explaining my focus:)

Good point. Parenthood isn't the only catalyst for looking beyond yourself.

Fortunately.

Fortunately.
Else we'd force everyone to procreate as early as possible, gay or not!

its not that you decide to get morals

its that your whole world changes when you become a parent

in that one moment when potential becomes reality and you are suddenly a parent even though you knew it was coming for 8 months give or take, your life changes and its no longer your own

you have to shape up because that baby is completely dependant on you. even something as simple as not fastening your seatbelt is potentially life altering for your child. (the daughter of a friend of mine died in a car accident leaving her less than one year old daughter to be raised by her drug dealing deadbeat boyfriend)

you are also utterly at the mercy of the decisions of another person. as that baby gets older and makes more and more of its own decisions, one bad day can devastate you forever. you let your child go in full knowledge that she might not remember to fasten her seatbelt and that might be the day that the accident happens that takes her life.

so yeah, consider getting a designated driver for prom. itll make the night easier on your parents.

Else we'd force everyone to procreate as early as possible, gay or not!

Hey! I'm happy to take some kid off some deadbeat breeder. Stuff your procreation!

When I got my own puppy, I stopped going out much and I was sure to be home early so I could be with him. He's 2 years old and I still do that.

Mind you, you don't need to be a parent for your perspective to change. Hold the hand of a child run over by a drunk driver, and then tell her parents you did your best, but that you could not save the life of their daughter.

That'll whip you into shape.


that really just got me choked up.


Becoming a parent made me aware life is more valuable-not just the lives of my children, but my own as well.
As a result, I'm not as reckless as I once was. I'm far more conservative now.

I pretty much agree with Sinuhue and Ashmoria on this one.

I will say that before I had my kids I thought that all adults were assholes and that they made rules just to screw around with my having fun, however about the 5th month of my first pregnancy, I began to understand that maybe I had a somewhat limited view on the world.

I switched into "mom mode" and it pisses me off sometimes that I can't turn it off, in fact I lost a few of my single friends because of it. Before I was pregnant it was like

"Do what you want" and "gawd, your parents suck a big one"

and then suddenly in the middle of my second trimester it became

"WTF ARE YOU DOING YOU IDIOT?!" and "Geez, I am glad I'm not your parent, I would kill you"

yeah, my friends were both shocked and confused, and well.....scared.

It's like before you have kids you are living in a "me-bubble" and then after you see the whole world in a way that you never did before, everything is scary, everything potentially life changing, everything a huge deal.

Well, I don't have any kid yet (and since I'm single, since wont change anytime soon...), but I often visit a very dear friend who has a lovely kid, and live with them for a few days when I do, and this already changed me a bit... so well, I guess having a kid of my own would change me even more.

It's not making me completly different, but it incitates me to be more careful, more responsible, and at the same time makes me pay attention to and enjoy little things that I was ignoring before.