NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.politicalgateway.com/news/read/9561


US Christians praying for lower gas prices?

Now there's an intelligent response.

"Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer."

Nevertheless, maybe they should pray for sanity.

Maybe they'll pray to try and levitate the Pentagon next.

[url]....
US Christians praying for lower gas prices?
.....
Eerily reminiscent of Dune and Foundation. Especially Dune.

Are those the people that speak of evil muslim zealot phreaks?

http://www.politicalgateway.com/news/read/9561


US Christians praying for lower gas prices
Wow... that could qualify as a literary device. It does perfectly summarize the current state of affairs in America.:(

Mmmm-kaaay?

This is the best bit:
For those who can't attend, a live Internet site and toll-free prayer line have been established.
Prayer line? Wtf? They must have a direct line to God.

Mmmm-kaaay?

This is the best bit:

Prayer line? Wtf? They must have a direct line to God.

How does that even work?

*calls toll-free number*

*is silent*

Prayer line? Wtf? They must have a direct line to God.

They must have outsourced it, all I could get was Shiva.

They must have outsourced it, all I could get was Shiva.
:D

They must have outsourced it, all I could get was Shiva.
LOL!

"It is our hope that seeing and hearing some of the nation's most powerful preachers gathered around a gas station and the United States capital as a backdrop, will remind everyone who is really in charge of our world -- money," Royster said.

fixed.

Mmmm-kaaay?

This is the best bit:

Prayer line? Wtf? They must have a direct line to God.

"Welcome to God's hotline. God is currently engaged at the moment and cannot hear your prayer at the moment. Please wait until God is free to answer your prayer. Remember, your prayer is important to us" *cue cheesy music*

They must have outsourced it, all I could get was Shiva.

You are my new hero.

Thats pretty incredible, as if God regulated supply and demand and the other 100 issues that are affecting gas prices.

http://www.politicalgateway.com/news/read/9561


US Christians praying for lower gas prices?

Now there's an intelligent response.
Typically American: pray for lower gas prices. Not for, you know, cars that don't require gas in the first place. Not for some alternative fuel that doesn't destroy the planet. Not for improved mass transit.

Nope. Let's ask Jeebus to help us fill our SUV tanks. Because I'm sure that's the kind of shit he wants to do with his time.

These people believe in an ALL-POWERFUL GOD, right? So why the hell not just pray for God to attach wheels to your ass? Why not pray for God to send us the Magical Instant Transporter Machine?

Odds are, if someone came along and blew up that gas station while the people there are praying, the national IQ would rise by a few points.

Why not pray for God to send us the Magical Instant Transporter Machine?

God doesn't work that way. You have to steal one and then pray for forgiveness.

(Love you, Emo Phillips!)

God doesn't work that way. You have to steal one and then pray for forgiveness.

(Love you, Emo Phillips!)
Hehe, roger that.

Odds are, if someone came along and blew up that gas station while the people there are praying, the national IQ would rise by a few points.
At which point the surviving believers would cry, "Huzzah, it's a miracle! God has blessed our nation with an increase in IQ! Let us all sink to our knees in thankful prayer!"

lets pray for higher wages while we're at it...

People in the US argue intensely about whether ot not there is a constitutional right to, for example, abortion.

You might wonder why they all seem to be able to agree that there is a constitutional right to cheap petrol.

However, now we know why, the constitution doesn't come into it, it's a god-given right!

They must have outsourced it, all I could get was Shiva.

This is the sort of post in which I would give +rep to.

Typically American: pray for lower gas prices. Not for, you know, cars that don't require gas in the first place. Not for some alternative fuel that doesn't destroy the planet. Not for improved mass transit.

Nope. Let's ask Jeebus to help us fill our SUV tanks. Because I'm sure that's the kind of shit he wants to do with his time.

These people believe in an ALL-POWERFUL GOD, right? So why the hell not just pray for God to attach wheels to your ass? Why not pray for God to send us the Magical Instant Transporter Machine?

If you really want to get into it...Why would God have created an expendable fuel source that we would become so reliant upon for life as we know it? If God is omnipotent and omniscient, wouldnt he have known we'd eventually run out and provided the means and inspiration to keep the current events from occurring?

Of course, we're not even going to get into: If God just wanted a creature to worship him, why didnt he just create us all in heaven - without pain and such? And if Heaven is so perfect, why is it wrong to kill people? I mean, wouldnt you be doing that person a favor by sending them to Heaven? Hell, according to the Bible itself, the only unforgiveable sin is not accepting Christ, so, why dont all the Christians just go commit suicide so they can get it over with and get to Heaven?

I could go on for quite a while, but I think everyone gets the point...

There's a genocide in Sudan and they pray for lower gas prices? If God won't help the people who really need it he won't help them.

*Commits sepuku*

http://www.politicalgateway.com/news/read/9561

US Christians praying for lower gas prices?

Now there's an intelligent response.
Heh! Well, if it will help, go for it! :D

At which point the surviving believers would cry, "Huzzah, it's a miracle! God has blessed our nation with an increase in IQ! Let us all sink to our knees in thankful prayer!"

Thats when the steamrollers come along....

If you really want to get into it...Why would God have created an expendable fuel source that we would become so reliant upon for life as we know it?

Gasp! Or maybe God is actually a crack runner. And he sells oil to get us all hooked. God's a Columbian drug lord. And he's got the world hooked. :p

There's a genocide in Sudan and they pray for lower gas prices? If God won't help the people who really need it he won't help them.



Didn't you hear? God only blesses America. It's in the Bible.

Didn't you hear? God only blesses America. It's in the Bible.

No, he blesses white anglo-saxons...

There's a genocide in Sudan and they pray for lower gas prices? If God won't help the people who really need it he won't help them.

Maybe he's thinking:
"There's a genocide and they pray for lower gas prices? Aw, shut up you cheap bastards!" :mad:
http://uncyclopedia.org/images/thumb/d/d6/Godpissed.jpg/800px-Godpissed.jpg

:cool: :fluffle:

Maybe if we all wish really hard Jesus will turn water into oil. ;)

Maybe if we all wish really hard Jesus will turn water into oil. ;)

And then 1000 years from now, people will say that using oil excessively is a sin...

And then 1000 years from now, people will say that using oil excessively is a sin...

A 1000 years from now people will question whether oil really existed, or whether it was just social engineering by the religious leaders of the day.

A 1000 years from now people will question whether oil really existed, or whether it was just social engineering by the religious leaders of the day.

I think you missed my apparently overly subtle jab at the religious nutcases that believe in Christ's miracle (water to wine to keep the party going after everyone was already drunk and had been for days) yet believe that drinking and dancing are evil...

I think you missed my apparently overly subtle jab at the religious nutcases that believe in Christ's miracle (water to wine to keep the party going after everyone was already drunk and had been for days) yet believe that drinking and dancing are evil...

Oh I got it. I think you missed the point that 1000 years from now there won't be any oil.

Oh I got it. I think you missed the point that 1000 years from now there won't be any oil.

LoL...I got it. Just using your post as an excuse to explain mine for the slower people out there ;)

"Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer."

Nevertheless, maybe they should pray for sanity.

Once again, you and I are thinking alike. Eerie.

Anywho, I am getting tired of having to apologize for my fellow Christians. Seriously, praying for lower gas prices? Is that so necessary. Geez, and they wonder why the world criticizes them. What a bunch of idiots.

I'm sadly reminded of one of my father's co-workers at Dow Chemical. The man was a professional chemical engineer with a PhD. Apparantly his response when he was told a certain reaction wouldn't work was to go into his office and pray. He apparently did so fairly frequently. :(

Once again, you and I are thinking alike. Eerie.

Anywho, I am getting tired of having to apologize for my fellow Christians. Seriously, praying for lower gas prices? Is that so necessary. Geez, and they wonder why the world criticizes them. What a bunch of idiots.

Yeah, fuck world peace, we want oil dammit!

Typically American: pray for lower gas prices. Not for, you know, cars that don't require gas in the first place. Not for some alternative fuel that doesn't destroy the planet. Not for improved mass transit.

Nope. Let's ask Jeebus to help us fill our SUV tanks. Because I'm sure that's the kind of shit he wants to do with his time.

These people believe in an ALL-POWERFUL GOD, right? So why the hell not just pray for God to attach wheels to your ass? Why not pray for God to send us the Magical Instant Transporter Machine?
Alright, I object to that. This is NOT the work of typical Americans. It's the work of religious nutjobs. A typical American is not going to pray for fucking gasoline.

And me? I don't pray for anything. Because I know it doesn't help to speak to a nonexistant God. I actually go out and do stuff, not sit around and wait for someone else to do them for me.

Alright, I object to that. This is NOT the work of typical Americans. It's the work of religious nutjobs. A typical American is not going to pray for fucking gasoline.

Dude, the typical American believes in Bigfoot. I'm not kidding...more than half of the fucking country thinks that Bigfoot is totally for real. The majority of Americans believe that a big sky fairy created human beings out of magic clay.

But you're right, the typical American is probably not praying for gas prices. Based on the most recent election results, they appear to be praying for gay people to go away, for women to be barefoot and pregnant at all times, and for brown people to just shut up and take out the garbage already. :)

http://www.politicalgateway.com/news/read/9561


US Christians praying for lower gas prices?

Now there's an intelligent response.
That sums it up perfectly. All 350 million of us are praying for lower gas prices. It's just like that here.

But you're right, the typical American is probably not praying for gas prices. Based on the most recent election results, they appear to be praying for gay people to go away, for women to be barefoot and pregnant at all times, and for brown people to just shut up and take out the garbage already. :)
Funny, I thought Bush had a 32% approval rating. I also thought that every poll shows most Americans favor some sort of guest worker program to legitimize illegal workers here. :confused:

theres stupid people in every group

Funny, I thought Bush had a 32% approval rating.


1) Satire. Learn to love it.

2) What part of "election results" was unclear?

3) And are you implying that everybody who dislikes Bush is pro-gay, pro-choice, and pro-imigration? Because that would be an interesting study.


I also thought that every poll shows most Americans favor some sort of guest worker program to legitimize illegal workers here. :confused:
Well, yeah. The brown people can't very well take out our trash if we kick them out of the country. We just want to make sure we don't have to listen to their votes or pay them minimum wage.

Maybe they should spend more time praying and less time driving...hell, if we all conserved 5 gallons per month of gasoline, we'd save 745,000 bpd of gasoline or 8% of current consumption...that's equal to almost 6 years of demand growth and is definitely possible.

Dude, the typical American believes in Bigfoot. I'm not kidding...more than half of the fucking country thinks that Bigfoot is totally for real. The majority of Americans believe that a big sky fairy created human beings out of magic clay.

But you're right, the typical American is probably not praying for gas prices. Based on the most recent election results, they appear to be praying for gay people to go away, for women to be barefoot and pregnant at all times, and for brown people to just shut up and take out the garbage already. :)
I still find this objectionary, but it might just be my defensive nature. =/

But you're right, the typical American is probably not praying for gas prices. Based on the most recent election results, they appear to be praying for gay people to go away, for women to be barefoot and pregnant at all times, and for brown people to just shut up and take out the garbage already. :)
So why do women vote for Bush? :confused:

So why do women vote for Bush? :confused:
They want to be barefoot and pregnant all the time, obviously.

1) Satire. Learn to love it.

2) What part of "election results" was unclear?

3) And are you implying that everybody who dislikes Bush is pro-gay, pro-choice, and pro-imigration? Because that would be an interesting study.


Well, yeah. The brown people can't very well take out our trash if we kick them out of the country. We just want to make sure we don't have to listen to their votes or pay them minimum wage.

The part where fraud, collusion and illegal voter registry purges qualify as legitimate ways to win said election. Murky as hell.

http://www.politicalgateway.com/news/read/9561


US Christians praying for lower gas prices?

Now there's an intelligent response.

lol

So why do women vote for Bush? :confused:
Try did. 32% approval rating makes the past tense necessary in that sentence.

Women voted for Bush for the same reason men did. They don't think for themselves and don't read.

"I think we should all just trust and believe whatever the President says."
:eek:

Well, he won, didn't he? Twice. So women must have voted along with men. Just puzzling, that's all, considering what the guy and his friends so openly stand for. :confused:

"It is our hope that seeing and hearing some of the nation's most powerful preachers gathered around a gas station and the United States capital as a backdrop, will remind everyone who is really in charge of our world -- God," Royster said.

This person obviously doesn't know that God isn't worshiped by 100% of the world's population in every country on the planet.

"It is our hope that seeing and hearing some of the nation's most powerful preachers gathered around a gas station and the United States capital as a backdrop, will remind everyone who is really in charge of our world -- God," Royster said.

This person obviously doesn't know that God isn't worshiped by 100% of the world's population in every country on the planet.
Heh. Bet he doesn't even have a passport.

Ugh...:headbang:

"Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer."

Nevertheless, maybe they should pray for sanity.


Gah, you beat me to it.

:eek:

Well, he won, didn't he? Twice. So women must have voted along with men. Just puzzling, that's all, considering what the guy and his friends so openly stand for. :confused:


Lost the first time; thus, by logic, he could have not won the second election, for he won not the first. ;)

If I were a muslim and needed some Gas, I would be more than happy to run over those idiots praying in such a place. Americans dont know how good they have it. Try walking for a change. Oh, but your lazy ass cant even do that. Dont waste all your money and buy some gated house out in the suburbs, move to the city, and walk to work. Not hard.

Satirists around the world are out of a job because of this. I hope you're happy.