Anti-Social Darwinism
24-04-2006, 23:19
New Element Discovered
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists al CalPoly. The element, tentatively named Administratium (Ad), has no protons or electrons, which means that its atomic number is zero. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistants to the neutron, 75 vice-neutrons, and 111 assistants to the vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass number of 312. The 312 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called memoons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically because it seems to impede every reaction in which it is present. According to Dr. Phillips, one of the discoverers of the element, a very small amount of Administratium made one reaction that normally takes a few seconds take over four days.
Administratium has a half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay. Instead, it undergoes a reorganization in which assistants to the neutron, vice-neutrons, and assistants to the vice-neutrons all change places. Some studies have indicated that the atomic mass number actually increases after each reorganization.
Administratium was discovered by accident when Dr. Phillips angrily resigned the chairmanship of the physics department and dumped all of his papers into the intake slot of the university's particle accelerator.
Research at other facilities seems to indicate that Administratium might occur naturally in the atmosphere. According to one scientist, Administratium is most likely to be found on college and university campuses, near the best-appointed and best-maintained buildings.
You've probably read this before, but, since I work at a University, I can attest to the truth of this.
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by physicists al CalPoly. The element, tentatively named Administratium (Ad), has no protons or electrons, which means that its atomic number is zero. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistants to the neutron, 75 vice-neutrons, and 111 assistants to the vice-neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass number of 312. The 312 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called memoons.
Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically because it seems to impede every reaction in which it is present. According to Dr. Phillips, one of the discoverers of the element, a very small amount of Administratium made one reaction that normally takes a few seconds take over four days.
Administratium has a half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not actually decay. Instead, it undergoes a reorganization in which assistants to the neutron, vice-neutrons, and assistants to the vice-neutrons all change places. Some studies have indicated that the atomic mass number actually increases after each reorganization.
Administratium was discovered by accident when Dr. Phillips angrily resigned the chairmanship of the physics department and dumped all of his papers into the intake slot of the university's particle accelerator.
Research at other facilities seems to indicate that Administratium might occur naturally in the atmosphere. According to one scientist, Administratium is most likely to be found on college and university campuses, near the best-appointed and best-maintained buildings.
You've probably read this before, but, since I work at a University, I can attest to the truth of this.