NationStates Jolt Archive

I know nearly everyone would want to kill Hitler as a kid, or buy Coca Cola stocks in the 1930s or something.

What about other, more personal or more esoteric events?

I'll run a poll later to see who has the funniest, most touching and most bizarre reason to muck with the past.

Cheers dudes.

I would do two things: prevent Bush from "ascending" to presidency, and do whatever i could to make sure the right info got where it needed to go to prevent the 9/11 attacks from success.
I've got others but these are the current issues for me of contention and bruising.

I would not have clicked on this thread.

I'd go to 1914 and give the Imperial German Army G36s, Leopard tanks and MiG fighters. Fuck you, France.

I would have fucked Ringo in the dressing room when I had the chance.

I would destroy it. Killing Hitler might cause a reign of terror to spread over the globe.

Plant evidence that it was my line of decendance that founded America, found China and also give the Native Americans automatic rifles. I would also replace every major religions head-figure with a golden calf just for the hell of it. Oh! I would also, not kill Hitler, but admit him to that damn art school just to see how it would all turn out if he drank more absinth. And I would publish the theory of relativity one week before Einstein and preserve dinosaurs in special wild-life parks hidden from that damn meteor blast... ummm... what else? Oh! I would introduce the fuel cell before the petrol gained any market shares!:D

I know nearly everyone would want to kill Hitler as a kid, or buy Coca Cola stocks in the 1930s or something.

I wouldn't want to kill Hitler as a kid. My legs would be too short to make a quick get away.

I would go back to the 80's and release acomputer based on todays technologies. I would be producing computers much more advanced than anyone else, and for much cheaper. Of course, all would come with a flavor of Linux on them. Linus would be conviced tat he wrote the Kernel, and I would support this conspiracy. I would also start up a company that provides cable-speed internet. I ould be rich and universially loathed.:cool:

I would go back to the 80's and release acomputer based on todays technologies. I would be producing computers much more advanced than anyone else, and for much cheaper. Of course, all would come with a flavor of Linux on them. Linus would be conviced tat he wrote the Kernel, and I would support this conspiracy. I would also start up a company that provides cable-speed internet. I ould be rich and universially loathed.:cool:

Wait a sec, does your real name rhyme with Gilliam Wates?

Wait a sec, does your real name rhyme with Gilliam Wates?
No. I would have my parents give me a much cooler name.

Besides, if I was Silly Billy I would release viruses for my competators' software then steal all its features.

:headbang: :headbang:

I wouldn't try to kill Hitler as a kid, I would just make his parents Jewish. ...I'll figure out how to do that when the time comes

March of 1620 to tell indigenous people to NOT treat pockmarked visiters as guests!!

I would go back to when I was 15 and tell myself about a certain person online so I could meet him 9 years earlier than I did and skip a lot of hard times and baggage collecting.

That, and I'd go back to '85 and stop my dad from giving me that first smack on the wrist that led to the rest of it.

Those are extraordinarily selfish though, and stuff nobody would understand. Short of that, I'd hide a couple of McDonald's shares in my books here so I could find them nowabouts and be rich :P

This is such a perfect opportunity to quote Dane Cook, but I'll restrain myself. I'd prolly just go back far enough to strangle myself before Queen of Athens, which would prevent me from going back to strangle myself, which would prevent me from preventing me from going back to strangle myself, which would prevent me from preventing me from preventing me to go back to strangle myself....You get the idea.

This is such a perfect opportunity to quote Dane Cook, but I'll restrain myself. I'd prolly just go back far enough to strangle myself before Queen of Athens, which would prevent me from going back to strangle myself, which would prevent me from preventing me from going back to strangle myself, which would prevent me from preventing me from preventing me to go back to strangle myself....You get the idea.

My guess is that you would just end up dead at the feet of the Queen of Athens (Athens had a queen?) because I have a feeling that the universe doesn't really care if we don't make sense.

sounds a bit "i'm a school girl with a bubblegum crush" but i would so fuck sid vicious

My guess is that you would just end up dead at the feet of the Queen of Athens (Athens had a queen?) because I have a feeling that the universe doesn't really care if we don't make sense.
Yeah, you're prolly right. So it would be more efficient if I strangled myself in eight and a half hours. You don't understand the referrence to Queen of Athens; allow me to ellaborate briefly despite your disinterest: I had a dream a woman I know was a queen in Athens (don't know how that works exactly), and a rebel shoved a pike through her heart via her back. I was standing nearby and beheaded the rebel at the jaw, then held her as her breath faded in slow heaves from my embrace.

[Edit: Oh, and I like the way you personify the universe. I do the same thing.]

Steal a lot of money in the 1800s, put it in a Swiss bank account then withdraw it now, and grin maniacally at the effects of inflation :)

I'll back and tell my kid self that the future (in 2006) does resemble the 70's.

That people do go around wearing tight-stretchy spacey clothes that shows off their bodies. Spaceships have ion cannons that fire rods of frozen ion-stuff. That interstellar travel involved meeting aliens with pointy ears and raised eyebrows, instead of aliens with acidic blood and metallic teeth.

That the hit single in 2000 was not Livin' La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin but actually Go West by the Pet Shop Boys.

That there are actually two girls for every boy, one who looks like Farah Fawcett and the other, Jenny Agutter. Except that they are actually lovebots yearning for a human soul. And can be damaged if immersed in the bathtub.

That I would become a evil scientist-business magnate with a one-eyed sidekick, a midget, a hairless cat and hundreds of mindless minions at my command. Fighting an Englishman who has bad teeth, miraculous gadgets and who must "pump" women up for vital information.

Man I can so imagine my own disappointed face! Bwwahahahahahahar!

Wait a sec...

*Looks at the mirror*

*A teardrop falls*

Kill Moses.

Yeah, you're prolly right. So it would be more efficient if I strangled myself in eight and a half hours. You don't understand the referrence to Queen of Athens; allow me to ellaborate briefly despite your disinterest: I had a dream a woman I know was a queen in Athens (don't know how that works exactly), and a rebel shoved a pike through her heart via her back. I was standing nearby and beheaded the rebel at the jaw, then held her as her breath faded in slow heaves from my embrace.

[Edit: Oh, and I like the way you personify the universe. I do the same thing.]

"Whenever there is an ample bosom, there is always heaving..."

I postulate that your Queen of Athens is amply-bosomed, yes?

I would probably go back to the end of the 18th century and get some of that fancy clothes...

Go back ten years & buy a house when they were actually affordable.

I'll buy you all a house with my time-stolen money!

"Whenever there is an ample bosom, there is always heaving..."

I postulate that your Queen of Athens is amply-bosomed, yes?
That wasn't what I meant. I intended the breathing to sound labored, but yes, if you must know, she is "amply bosomed" both in reality and the dream.:rolleyes:

I'll buy you all a house with my time-stolen money!
You are aware that if you did that, you'd be the only one with money, so it wouldn't have any value, right?

Given the chance to time travel, I'd give it my best to conquer the world.
Like any primitive people would dare refuse a seemingly eternal being anything :P
And if they ever do decide to riot, I'll just go back before they do and deal with them preventively.

Naturally I'd also prevent anyone else from develloping time travel. Like it's not bad enough there's one person mucking about with history.

Yeah, you're prolly right. So it would be more efficient if I strangled myself in eight and a half hours. You don't understand the referrence to Queen of Athens; allow me to ellaborate briefly despite your disinterest: I had a dream a woman I know was a queen in Athens (don't know how that works exactly), and a rebel shoved a pike through her heart via her back. I was standing nearby and beheaded the rebel at the jaw, then held her as her breath faded in slow heaves from my embrace.

[Edit: Oh, and I like the way you personify the universe. I do the same thing.]

Oh wow, you're the second person today to tell me their dream. Thank you.

And yes, I personify the universe. Or is it that I personify the universe because the universe has personified us. I personify, therefore I am. We are people who evolved intelligence from interacting with other people. The reason we are intelligent is to personify, to understand other people. We personify everything we come across, for good or ill (for ill, see religion). Perhaps we can go as far as to say that if we haven't personified something we haven't understood it? It is not real to us. Religion seems so real to so many people because it is a personification of nature.

You are aware that if you did that, you'd be the only one with money, so it wouldn't have any value, right?

I doubt that I could steal all the money... I'd just travel back in time, rob several banks then go to Switzerland.

That wasn't what I meant. I intended the breathing to sound labored, but yes, if you must know, she is "amply bosomed" both in reality and the dream.:rolleyes:

A-HA!

Now I am an expert in amply-bosom detection AND bunny fornication. Awesome.:D

i'd go back in time and sort it out so that the eunuchs had won in the struggle for supremacy in china so that china would have taken over the world and we'd be much better off technologically.

Oh wow, you're the second person today to tell me their dream. Thank you.

And yes, I personify the universe. Or is it that I personify the universe because the universe has personified us. I personify, therefore I am. We are people who evolved intelligence from interacting with other people. The reason we are intelligent is to personify, to understand other people. We personify everything we come across, for good or ill (for ill, see religion). Perhaps we can go as far as to say that if we haven't personified something we haven't understood it? It is not real to us. Religion seems so real to so many people because it is a personification of nature.

Hey, I personify everything too!

*Mysterious voice: Sci-fi fans, Weird Al fans and people who personify everything never get laid. Bwahahahahar!*

What was that !??!!

Oh wow, you're the second person today to tell me their dream. Thank you.

And yes, I personify the universe. Or is it that I personify the universe because the universe has personified us. I personify, therefore I am. We are people who evolved intelligence from interacting with other people. The reason we are intelligent is to personify, to understand other people. We personify everything we come across, for good or ill (for ill, see religion). Perhaps we can go as far as to say that if we haven't personified something we haven't understood it? It is not real to us. Religion seems so real to so many people because it is a personification of nature.
That's about the sum of it, yes. That's exactly why I personify the universe, though, for a striking reverse of the universe itself, in more words instead of less. Then again, I just quote Stargate: SG-1 for that: "The universe is infinite." Which is a personification in and of itself. My Ancient Civilizations teacher didn't like it much when I personified my paper over Roman Emperor Tiberius.

Now I'd like to know who the first to share a dream was and why you thanked me for mine.

Hey, I personify everything too!

*Mysterious voice: Sci-fi fans, Weird Al fans and people who personify everything never get laid. Bwahahahahar!*

What was that !??!!
I fit in two of the three categories....:(

Without a doubt, I would ruthlessly exterminate the Spice Girls before they opened their mouths.

I fit in two of the three categories....:(

My condolences, my friend :rolleyes:

There is no escape!

*Yet another one of the interminable sci-fi references*

Rats, I'm in this deep.

Now I'd like to know who the first to share a dream was

Dick Cheney.

and why you thanked me for mine.

I now own your soul. If you don't believe that I can now take your soul, look at Dick Cheney.

Oh okay, actually it was someone on the thread about the origin of left and right. And I thanked you for leting us into your subconcious mind. And because I'm polite. (Usually.)

I know nearly everyone would want to kill Hitler as a kid, or buy Coca Cola stocks in the 1930s or something.

What about other, more personal or more esoteric events?

I'll run a poll later to see who has the funniest, most touching and most bizarre reason to muck with the past.

Cheers dudes.

If i could go back in time, i'd go find the then me and let him know that Sarah Wilde actually fancied me rotten when i was 15, and probably get laid a hell of a lot earlier than i did.

As for non personal stuff, i'd convince Phil Collin's mum of the benefits of abortion.

Without a doubt, I would ruthlessly exterminate the Spice Girls before they opened their mouths.

What raw emotion! I nominate this idea for the "funniest" category. Or the "most touching" category maybe?

Without a doubt, I would ruthlessly exterminate the Spice Girls before they opened their mouths.

BOY: Mum, are the Spice girls robots?
MOTHER: Of course not! What gave you that idea?
BOY: Dad just said he could screw the arse off the black one.

Oh okay, actually it was someone on the thread about the origin of left and right. And I thanked you for leting us into your subconcious mind. And because I'm polite. (Usually.)

That would be me humble self:D

Not that my dream had anything to do with Brains or Tanks. Not.

BOY: Mum, are the Spice girls robots?
MOTHER: Of course not! What gave you that idea?
BOY: Dad just said he could screw the arse off the black one.

So no one has anything to say about Backstreet Boys huh?

I wouldn't change anything, at all. :) No regrets.

If I could go back in time, I would go back to middle school when my best friend Molly decided that I wasn't cool enough to be friends with and told all our friends to snub me. I got spit on, had my stuff stolen, got kicked around, teased, and noody liked me for a year. Instead of being hurt, losing weight, being miserable and having no friends, I would have just laughed at her. Maybe punched her in the face! Then I would be a happier person today. And I would have lots of girl friends and I wouldn't hate people. Maybe.

I'd go back and make a little game in which you control a nation and can run it after your own ideals. I might first write a book about it and then use the game as a advertisement for it. God, that's a good plan.

Or I would make Google:)

If I could go back in time, I would go back to middle school when my best friend Molly decided that I wasn't cool enough to be friends with and told all our friends to snub me. I got spit on, had my stuff stolen, got kicked around, teased, and noody liked me for a year. Instead of being hurt, losing weight, being miserable and having no friends, I would have just laughed at her. Maybe punched her in the face! Then I would be a happier person today. And I would have lots of girl friends and I wouldn't hate people. Maybe.

Erb.

*Sheds a tear*

I nominate this for the "most touching" award.

I know nearly everyone would want to kill Hitler as a kid, or buy Coca Cola stocks in the 1930s or something.
Neah, I think I'd try my luck with Lenin. Or maybe Stalin... Or I could become a serial killer and deal with all the people responsible with the creation of the USSR. Yeah, that's what I'd do. :cool:

I'd go back to Tsarist Russia and the play the role I was born to fulfill: Rasputin. Except I'd do it better and simply have Lenin whacked, none of this silly exiling stuff.
Think about it, no USSR, no Communist-based Paranoia. Remove the Paranoia, and there is no fascism, no Cold War, no massive nuclear build up, and (since the various terrorist groups in the 60s and 70s would no longer have US funding) no modern Terrorism/Counter-Terrorism bullshit.
I'd still have to arrange to suffer the Rasputin-death though, because there is no better way out than to be poisoned, shot, stabbed, beaten, frozen and still have to drown.

I doubt that I could steal all the money... I'd just travel back in time, rob several banks then go to Switzerland.

Why Switzerland?

No ideas for this thread yet. :(

So no one has anything to say about Backstreet Boys huh?

Just... just don't, OK? Don't go there. Just... don't. Please?

I'd go back to Tsarist Russia and the play the role I was born to fulfill: Rasputin. Except I'd do it better and simply have Lenin whacked, none of this silly exiling stuff.
Think about it, no USSR, no Communist-based Paranoia. Remove the Paranoia, and there is no fascism, no Cold War, no massive nuclear build up, and (since the various terrorist groups in the 60s and 70s would no longer have US funding) no modern Terrorism/Counter-Terrorism bullshit.
I'd still have to arrange to suffer the Rasputin-death though, because there is no better way out than to be poisoned, shot, stabbed, beaten, frozen and still have to drown.

By "arrange to suffer" you mean that...?

Just... just don't, OK? Don't go there. Just... don't. Please?

Are you... a fan...? :eek:

By "arrange to suffer" you mean that...?
Rasputin's demise was the greatest death in the history of anything, and, since I'm being generous with my time travel already, it would be terrible to deprive future generations of History Students from that little legend.
Without the Bolsheviks to do it for me, though, I'll have to insure that another political group wants me dead and is really, really incompetent at it.

Rasputin's demise was the greatest death in the history of anything, and, since I'm being generous with my time travel already, it would be terrible to deprive future generations of History Students from that little legend.
Without the Bolsheviks to do it for me, though, I'll have to insure that another political group wants me dead and is really, really incompetent at it.

How exactly will you pull that off? Take the first few blows and replace yourself with Sim the medical dummy? Or pluck an unsuspecting victim from the future to absorb the blows?

*Looks around nervously*

How exactly will you pull that off? Take the first few blows and replace yourself with Sim the medical dummy? Or pluck an unsuspecting victim from the future to absorb the blows?

*Looks around nervously*
After murdering all the early Communist leaders myself, as I've already stated, I'll be more than happy to help him achieve a memorable death. :D

After murdering all the early Communist leaders myself, as I've already stated, I'll be more than happy to help him achieve a memorable death. :D

'Cept he doesn't intend to be dead dead.

Right, haven't read all the posts so i don't know if this point has been made.

Kill Hitler...
But then World War 2 wouldn't have begun when it did.
So my grandad wouldn't have moved south with the forces.
So he wouldn't have met my nan.
Which means no dad
and no me. :(

ditto on the maternal side.

So how the hell could i go back in time to kill him?

Right, haven't read all the posts so i don't know if this point has been made.

Kill Hitler...
But then World War 2 wouldn't have begun when it did.
So my grandad wouldn't have moved south with the forces.
So he wouldn't have met my nan.
Which means no dad
and no me. :(

ditto on the maternal side.

So how the hell could i go back in time to kill him?

I suppose you could kill him but commit suicide in a way.

'Cept he doesn't intend to be dead dead.
Details, details. :D

If I could go back in time, I would Kill Adam and go on to rape and impregnate Eve, thus proclaim myself the father of all mankind.

If I could go back in time, I would Kill Adam and go on to rape and impregnate Eve, thus proclaim myself the father of all mankind.
But then we'd all be ugly, egotistical rapists.

Myself...

I'd make SURE rap never became popular. Or emo music. In fact, I'd make sure emo never became popular.

I wouldn't mind tipping off the Templars of their upcoming purge. Or telling Ceasar that he can't really trust that Brutus guy.

I wouldn't change anything, since you never know what kind of impact a change can have long-term, but I would definitely go back and observe, to see if the way we portray history is anything at all like the truth of it. I'd also want to be there for some of the most pivotal events.

On my list:

I'd go see if there really was a city of Troy, and how it fell.
I'd go see whether Alexander the Great was actually gay.
I'd go back and watch Romulus and Remus build the Roman Republic
I'd watch it turn into an Empire.
I'd go see what Jesus Christ looked like, and how He lived.
I'd go witness the Crusades, and watch the origin of the Templars.
I'd like to meet Richard the Lionheart.
I'd watch my ancestors, Knights of the Order of Santiago, take Toledo.
I'd be on the bow of the Santa Maria to watch land come into view.
I'd be in Philadelphia on 4 July, 1776.
I'd listen to the Gettysburg Address.
I'd be in the house at Appomattox Court House to watch Lee and Grant meet.
I'd like to watch Baron Manfred VonRichtoven fly.
I'd be on the deck of the U.S.S. Missouri on V-J Day
I'd watch television on 20 July, 1969.
I'd be in the P.G. County hospital maternity ward on 16 May, 1974.
I'd be in Arlington, VA on 11 September, 2001.

Gawd, I could go on all day.

Kill Moses.

As in Prince of Egypt, Moses?

Care to offer an explanation for the curious?

As in Prince of Egypt, Moses?

Care to offer an explanation for the curious?

I am guessing here; Remove Moses from the timeline, this leaves the Jews still in Egypt, he never recieves the 10 Commandments, never leads them to what became Israel, never creates a powerful Jewish nation. No Israel, no Christianity as Jeshua Ben Joseph never becomes a rabbi and starts his own sect. No Jews or Christians, Muhammad never marries a Christian widower and eventually starts his own offshoot of Judai-Christian beliefs. Ergo, no Islam. So 3 of the 5 major religions become nonexistent.

But I am just guessing here.

I'd go conquer Rome with an Abrams tank. Then I'd meet Jesus and ask if evolution actually is true, also ask him about liberalism vs consevatism...then i'd beat the shit out of Joseph smith.....:p

Oh yeah...I'd go have my way with some really hot chicks throughout history..

and i'd write a book of prophecies...:D

Kill Moses.
Oooh! Good answer.
Perhaps a kindly shove down the side of the mount? Make him think "god" did it, with his last spiteful breath declaring such? :D

I am guessing here; Remove Moses from the timeline, this leaves the Jews still in Egypt, he never recieves the 10 Commandments, never leads them to what became Israel, never creates a powerful Jewish nation. No Israel, no Christianity as Jeshua Ben Joseph never becomes a rabbi and starts his own sect. No Jews or Christians, Muhammad never marries a Christian widower and eventually starts his own offshoot of Judai-Christian beliefs. Ergo, no Islam. So 3 of the 5 major religions become nonexistent.

But I am just guessing here.
Sounds about right.
But, it could be about Moses' fashion sense or *TERRIBLE* sense of direction.

But then we'd all be ugly, egotistical rapists.
...just like Adam's father.
*sigh*
Some cycles NEVER end.

I know nearly everyone would want to kill Hitler as a kid.That would have only postponed the holocaust. If Hitler hadn't come to power, we wouldn't be able to learn from that part of the past.

As for what I'd do... please don't tempt me... :p

But then we'd all be ugly, egotistical rapists.
Suddenly, the entire of human history makes perfect sense.

I'd go back to Tsarist Russia and the play the role I was born to fulfill: Rasputin. Except I'd do it better and simply have Lenin whacked, none of this silly exiling stuff.I doubt you're hung like Rasputin.
Think about it, no USSR, no Communist-based Paranoia. Remove the Paranoia, and there is no fascism, no Cold War, no massive nuclear build up, and (since the various terrorist groups in the 60s and 70s would no longer have US funding) no modern Terrorism/Counter-Terrorism bullshit.
I'd still have to arrange to suffer the Rasputin-death though, because there is no better way out than to be poisoned, shot, stabbed, beaten, frozen and still have to drown.
Yes there is, the inclusion of the semi-castration/mutilation. Don't forget that part. It's important.
And don't forget your faith sign under the ice.

I know nearly everyone would want to kill Hitler as a kid...

Why so extreme...just break into the Vienna art professor's house at night, put a gun to his head and say: "You gonna admit this Hitler guy to the academy or I'll be coming back for you."

Problem solved.

I'd just play the lottery every week.

i would want to witness the trojan war, battle of thermopylae and the peloponenesian war.

i would want to be apart of the exodus.

i would want to meet alexander the great, perikles, jesus, themistocles, achilles, john patterson, and prolly a lot more people...

Go back, make a lot of prophecies, stick a small bit of money in a bank, come back and use the interest to make the world's largest "I Told You So" sign :rolleyes:

i wouldnt go back in time cause who knows wot you could mess up like apes ruling the world and chipmunks evolving into monks and killin the apes and then taking a female monk and a male ape to make a incredible mape witch would rule the world so after that i never went back in time again.

i wouldnt go back in time cause who knows wot you could mess up like apes ruling the world and chipmunks evolving into monks and killin the apes and then taking a female monk and a male ape to make a incredible mape witch would rule the world so after that i never went back in time again.
...so that hasn't happened already, AFAYK?

...so that hasn't happened already, AFAYK?
yea it has thats the point

yea it has thats the point
And still we go on!

As Accept put it ... "Balls to the Wall!"
You only live once but your doppelgangers all live the same once as you.
However, everyone OTHER than you might live a near-infinite amount of times!
Teehee!

1066 and take some protective eye goggles for Harold. That might change the history of the Western world a little!

I'd do a bunch of small things just to see where we'd end up.

Like -- take an Xbox 360 to Nolan Bushnell of Atari in 1978, and say, "This is what we'll have to play with in 30 years. Reverse engineer it, and use the techology to inprove your Atari 2600." And then see what kind of game consoles we'd have today.

In similar light, I'd take the current Mac computers, and drop it off on Jobs and Wozniac's workbench in 1976.

I'd give Bill Gates a copy of Windows Vista back when he was working on MS-DOS.

I'd go back to the beginning of the Apollo program, and give NASA 2006 technology to create a new space vehicle.

I'd put F-22's on the deck of aircraft carriers in WWII. (echos of "The Final Countdown")

I'd let Stormin' Norman Schwartzkoff(sp) go all the way to Baghdad in 1991 and overthrow Hussein a decade earlier.

I'd stomp on the serpent's head before it had a chance to talk to Eve.

1066 and take some protective eye goggles for Harold. That might change the history of the Western world a little!

It would actually. An even greater change would have been if Harald Hardrada had won at Stamford Bridge, then kicked the Norman invasion out of the country. Instead of the centre of European power being based around France, therefore the Med, it would have gone north, the whole scandinavia/muscovy/rus link, the westward viking explorations, representative democracy (see the various Parliaments and Things in Anglo-Saxon/Scandinavian kingdoms), no real feudal system, no divine right of kings...

Oh, the sky is the limit...

I'd go back to Tsarist Russia and the play the role I was born to fulfill: Rasputin. Except I'd do it better and simply have Lenin whacked, none of this silly exiling stuff.
Think about it, no USSR, no Communist-based Paranoia. Remove the Paranoia, and there is no fascism, no Cold War, no massive nuclear build up, and (since the various terrorist groups in the 60s and 70s would no longer have US funding) no modern Terrorism/Counter-Terrorism bullshit.
I'd still have to arrange to suffer the Rasputin-death though, because there is no better way out than to be poisoned, shot, stabbed, beaten, frozen and still have to drown.

Rasputin is the man.

Rasputin is the man.
Well, was 'til that decisive "snippage" ... :eek:

The only unparadoxical things I could pull off would be to win fortunes on the stock market/lottery and take on the roles of a few historical figures in the process. Though certainly, checking out the tomb of Jesus of Nazareth on that Saturday night would be a neat one too.

Oh, and at some point, I'd have to come back and tell myself how to go back in time. That way I'd seal up the paradoxes.

I would go back into the the 1860's and give Robert E. Lee the plans for Grant's attacks, and then we would win the war, but then id convince everybody to release the slaves cause thats wrong, but then the South would have the independence and we would all be happy ever after

I would go back into the the 1860's and give Robert E. Lee the plans for Grant's attacks, and then we would win the war, but then id convince everybody to release the slaves cause thats wrong, but then the South would have the independence and we would all be happy ever after
Especially since the south could keep their theocracy and quit soiling the rest of the union with it! ;)

Especially since the south could keep their theocracy and quit soiling the rest of the union with it! ;)

yeah, we didn't exactly want to be in it, you know we did seceed

yeah, we didn't exactly want to be in it, you know we did seceed
I know ... so what do you think the state of affairs would be know, given the 1)oil issue, 2)immigration issue, and 3)religious voting bloc issue?

I know ... so what do you think the state of affairs would be know, given the 1)oil issue, 2)immigration issue, and 3)religious voting bloc issue?

Personally, he says, butting in, i think the South would have ended up a backwater without the powerhouse of the North in the railroad era. That could have changed once oil was harnessed, but would the Dixie regime have been able to exploit it economically, or would they have become a puppet of the North?

Interesting question.

Personally, he says, butting in, i think the South would have ended up a backwater without the powerhouse of the North in the railroad era. That could have changed once oil was harnessed, but would the Dixie regime have been able to exploit it economically, or would they have become a puppet of the North?

Right! That's what i was wondering too.
Perhaps it'll turn into another thread.

I would go back to 1965. I would begin investing all the money I got for high school graduation in IBM and Hewlett-Packard. I would go to college and major in something I loved, like art. Meanwhile, I would continue investing in high-tech. (I would not marry my ex-husband, incidentally). I would invest in MicroSoft as soon as it went public. I would retire before the age of 40 and live in Aspen, Colorado with my numerous young, handsome, slavishly devoted lovers.

Erb.

*Sheds a tear*

I nominate this for the "most touching" award.

Ha! Thanks. I daydream a lot about going back in time with the best comeback ever, but I couldn't name all the people I'd like to do that too. I usually end up saying something like, "Um...I have to go to the bathroom," and then seething for a year.

I'd go back to the beginning of the Apollo program, and give NASA 2006 technology to create a new space vehicle.

Which will look exactly like the Saturn V anyways. 'Cept it will cost twice as much and take four times as long. And will be equipped with million-dollar-pens and 20-million-dollar-toilets.

I'd put F-22's on the deck of aircraft carriers in WWII. (echos of "The Final Countdown")


Pilot:"All set to go, full throttle!"

Crew:"Awesome. This fighter spews fire!"

Pilot:"Jet deflectors! Activate the steam catapult!"

Crew:"!?!??!!"

*Splash!*

I would go back in time to watch things as they happened. I would watch to see if it was grassy knoll or book depository. I would find out what really happened to Elvis. I don't believe it would be possible to actually change anything, as it would create a time paradox, but it would be interesting to know some things that we never will.

Which will look exactly like the Saturn V anyways. 'Cept it will cost twice as much and take four times as long. And will be equipped with million-dollar-pens and 20-million-dollar-toilets.

Also, it will explode.

I wouldn't change anything.

I'd just see stuff

I'd go to a lot of concerts of now defunct bands (this includes metallica, because they suck now).

I'd bring a whole bunch of money with me and buy stuff in the 50's for hella cheap.

I'd see how things were at various points in history, maybe go back and get video evidence of primitive humans. See them building the pyramids. Find out tons of things that I'd want to know. That kind of thing.

For myself:
Claim jump some random Alaskans during the gold rush with my trusty Abrams Battle Tank.
Take that same gold, travel foward to the mid 20th century, deposit in Swiss bank.
Return to present.
Buy New Zealand.

For silliness:
Switch the flag raised at Iwo Jima to one with one of these on it ---> :p

For obvious reasons:
Assassinate Stalin before he seizes power. Hitler might have been worse, but the legacy Stalin left behind lasted longer.

For myself:
Claim jump some random Alaskans during the gold rush with my trusty Abrams Battle Tank.

So you already own one of these?

So you already own one of these?

Nah, I just time-travel back to Desert Storm...I'm bound to be able to sneak one out in the confusion. :p

I know nearly everyone would want to kill Hitler as a kid, or buy Coca Cola stocks in the 1930s or something.
I've thought about this and I think I have a less violent method. Just bribe the Austrian or German officials into not approving the request of a certain Schicklegruber to have his name changed to Hitler. Can you imagine crowds of fanatic Nazis shouting Heil Schicklegruber? :p

I would make sure Madonna didnt make her "Like A Prayer" Video!
Oh and I would stop the Kennedy Assasination!