NationStates Jolt Archive

Where's the best place to find political jokes? Washington DC
What's another word for political joke? Politician.
Why don't politicians ever get good at target practice? Democrats can't decide which target to shoot at. Replublicans just keep missing the target entirely.

If you threw Cheney and Bush off a cliff, which would land first?

Cheney, Bush would have to ask for directions.




Cheney and Bush walk into a bar - you would have thought one of them would have seen it!

The classical Shaw and Churchill one. :D

Supposedly G.B. Shaw once sent Winston Churchill some tickets for the first night of one of his plays.

Churchill then sent Shaw a telegram to the effect: "Cannot come first night. Will come second night if you have one."

Shaw promptly replied: "Here are two tickets for the second night. Bring a friend if you have one."

The classical Shaw and Churchill one. :D

Supposedly G.B. Shaw once sent Winston Churchill some tickets for the first night of one of his plays.

Churchill then sent Shaw a telegram to the effect: "Cannot come first night. Will come second night if you have one."

Shaw promptly replied: "Here are two tickets for the second night. Bring a friend if you have one."
I think it's the other way around.

One for the Brits.

Blair and Cameron in a helicopter.

Blair: "If I now threw cans of lager out of the heli, I'd have all the men in the country behind me."

Cameron: "If I now threw pink lingerie out of the heli, I'd have all the women in the country behind me.

Pilot mutters: "If I now throw both of you out of the heli, I'll have the whole damn country behind me."

In the spirit of the Churchill:

"Silent Cal" Coolidge was a man who knew when to keep his mouth shut. In fact, he rarely said much of anything. Early in his presidency, a woman approached him at a banquet and said, "Mr. President, I made a bet with my husband that I could get you to say more than two words." Coolidge replied without hesitation, "You lose."

George W. Bush.

Dick Cheney. Two jokes for the price of one.

Rick Santorum. This one is funny on so many levels (http://spreadingsantorum.com)

George W. Bush.

Dick Cheney. Two jokes for the price of one.

Rick Santorum. This one is funny on so many levels (http://spreadingsantorum.com)

:eek:

How many socialists does it take to unscrew a proletarian lightbulb?

None, it contains the seeds of its own revolution!

[/leaves thread in shame]

A poem composed of Bush Quotes:

Make the Pie Higher

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen
And uncertainty
And potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet
Become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish
Can coexist.

Families is where our nation finds hope
Where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher!
Make the pie higher!

What do you get when you put 15 democrats in a room? 20 different opinions.

Want to hear a joke?

AMERICA! HAHA WE SUCK, OH MAN

Consider the meaning of the words pro and con.
Now think, what is the direct opposite of progress?


Ah, due process.

How many socialists does it take to unscrew a proletarian lightbulb?

None, it contains the seeds of its own revolution!

[/leaves thread in shame]
What? I liked it. :p

Consider the meaning of the words pro and con.
Now think, what is the direct opposite of progress?


Ah, due process.
Apply that to Neo-Cons as well.

Where's the best place to find political jokes? Washington DC
What's another word for political joke? Politician.
Why don't politicians ever get good at target practice? Democrats can't decide which target to shoot at. Replublicans just keep missing the target entirely.


How can you tell when a politician is lying?

His lips move


How can your make your representative work for a living?

Dont re-elect him