NationStates Jolt Archive

I am in love with a friend who loves another.

My question; is there anything worse?

You love a married man who is your friend is worse :p

You mean unrequited love? There's been worse...imagine if you were both happily in love and married with kids, and they become a drug addict. You watch the person waste away, lie to you and steal from you and the children, get sick, and either disappear to live on the streets, get arrested, or die of an overdose or AIDs (or all three). I think that would be a lot worse.

Yes.

Unrequitted love is actually one of those strange, self-destructive behaviors that actually feels kinda good/weird at the same time. Makes you feel very chivalrious. Love from a distance, with your sole rewards being acknowledgement of that love and the afore mentioned chivalrious feelings.

You mean unrequited love? There's been worse...imagine if you were both happily in love and married with kids, and they become a drug addict. You watch the person waste away, lie to you and steal from you and the children, get sick, and either disappear to live on the streets, get arrested, or die of an overdose or AIDs (or all three). I think that would be a lot worse.

Doesn't make me feel any better.

If I ever fell in love with someone who did return my feelings, I'd faint from the shock.

There are things that are worse, finding out you have a terminal illness would be worse, someone you love dying would be worse, etc. and i've felt unrequited love, so i know that it hurts. When you are actually living through it though, you feel as if it's the worst thing in the world, and at that moment, it just might be, depending on what else you have had to deal with.

I am in love with a friend who loves another.

My question; is there anything worse?
Being in a loveless relationship...

Doesn't make me feel any better.

It should! Okay, what about this one: You're together, you marry, you have children. Your partner starts insulting you in subtle ways. They say they don't like your family or friends. You may end up moving away, or you just don't see those people much anymore. They're jealous of people (whatever gender you like) looking at you, so you dress a certain way. They accuse you of cheating, of not loving them. You stay more and more in the house. Maybe you have to quit your job, or you didn't have one. They hate your job, they think you'll leave them for somebody you meet there. Soon they start shoving you when you're fighting, or slap you. They apologize and say they'll never do it again, but they do. It's like you're living with 2 people: the one you love and the one you're afraid of, in the same person. It starts to get a lot worse, you wear clothes to cover the bruising. You think it's your fault, if you were a better spouse they wouldn't do it, or it's the stress from work getting to them. Eventually you try to leave, but they stalk you and threaten to take the children. You have to go into witness protection, if the police believe you in the first place. One day the person you love the most in this world pops up out of nowhere and shoots you, maybe the kids too.

NOW do you feel better?

My question; is there anything worse?

Finding out you don't really sleep, but black out and prowl around killing hookers is actually worse.

It should! Okay, what about this one: You're together, you marry, you have children. Your partner starts insulting you in subtle ways. They say they don't like your family or friends. You may end up moving away, or you just don't see those people much anymore. They're jealous of people (whatever gender you like) looking at you, so you dress a certain way. They accuse you of cheating, of not loving them. You stay more and more in the house. Maybe you have to quit your job, or you didn't have one. They hate your job, they think you'll leave them for somebody you meet there. Soon they start shoving you when you're fighting, or slap you. They apologize and say they'll never do it again, but they do. It's like you're living with 2 people: the one you love and the one you're afraid of, in the same person. It starts to get a lot worse, you wear clothes to cover the bruising. You think it's your fault, if you were a better spouse they wouldn't do it, or it's the stress from work getting to them. Eventually you try to leave, but they stalk you and threaten to take the children. You have to go into witness protection, if the police believe you in the first place. One day the person you love the most in this world pops up out of nowhere and shoots you, maybe the kids too.

NOW do you feel better?

Not really. Should I?

Finding out you don't really sleep, but black out and prowl around killing hookers is actually worse.

Oh, yeah. That IS worse.

Yes. Loving someone who exploits that love to thoughtlessly subject you to horrific emotional pain, for instance.

Not really. Should I?

Yeah man. Be glad...love that doesn't work out in a horrible way is a lot worse than the love you never get.

It should! Okay, what about this one: You're together, you marry, you have children. Your partner starts insulting you in subtle ways. They say they don't like your family or friends. You may end up moving away, or you just don't see those people much anymore. They're jealous of people (whatever gender you like) looking at you, so you dress a certain way. They accuse you of cheating, of not loving them. You stay more and more in the house. Maybe you have to quit your job, or you didn't have one. They hate your job, they think you'll leave them for somebody you meet there. Soon they start shoving you when you're fighting, or slap you. They apologize and say they'll never do it again, but they do. It's like you're living with 2 people: the one you love and the one you're afraid of, in the same person. It starts to get a lot worse, you wear clothes to cover the bruising. You think it's your fault, if you were a better spouse they wouldn't do it, or it's the stress from work getting to them. Eventually you try to leave, but they stalk you and threaten to take the children. You have to go into witness protection, if the police believe you in the first place. One day the person you love the most in this world pops up out of nowhere and shoots you, maybe the kids too.
You've read Amy Tan's The Kitchen God's Wife too, I see?

Yes. Loving someone who exploits that love to thoughtlessly subject you to horrific emotional pain, for instance.

That is exactly my point. Thank you.

Even if it is someone you know you could make happy?

That is exactly my point. Thank you.
Someone actually read one of my posts, for once. Minor triumph. ^.^

Someone actually read one of my posts, for once. Minor triumph. ^.^

haha

Being in a loveless relationship...

If the relationship is truly loveless, then you can stop it.

Most of the pain of unrequited love comes from trying to make your love stop.


I've been essentially going through hell for the past half a year due to unrequited love. I honestly suspect that it would be less painful if she knew that I love her, but I cannot tell her under present conditions.

Even if it is someone you know you could make happy?

Nobody can ever be sure of that.

A true optimist can always imagine something worse, it seems.

The thing is though, when someone is in the midst of emotional pain, it's hard to convince them at that time that things will get better, they have to figure it out for themselves, and eventually they will. I think most of us, when we look back at crushes, lost loves, unrequited loves, etc. realize that in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't the worst thing to ever happen to us, sometimes we feel stupid for thinking it was. If often feels that way though when we are going through it.

A true optimist can always imagine something worse, it seems.

That's me!

haha
I'm serious. Even in role-plays, where one would think someone ought to be paying attention, nobody actually does. I occasionally feel like the ghost of NS, haunting the forums, unseen by all even when I make comments... as though people refuse to believe in my existence.

Unrequited love is an excuse for impotence. Make yourself known. Take a stand to show people that you exist, and that you will do so right here.

I'm serious. Even in role-plays, where one would think someone ought to be paying attention, nobody actually does. I occasionally feel like the ghost of NS, haunting the forums, unseen by all even when I make comments... as though people refuse to believe in my existence.

I feel ya. I don't even bother in role plays cause nobody notices me. Unless I make an interesting thread and respond to everybody's posts on it, I'm invisible.

I am in love with a friend who loves another.

My question; is there anything worse?
Ilie's right, an evil sorcerer/TV Producer could have trapped you in a series of Lifetime Original Movies. That particular nightmare has kept me awake many long nights.

I feel ya. I don't even bother in role plays cause nobody notices me. Unless I make an interesting thread and respond to everybody's posts on it, I'm invisible.
Wow... we're almost identical in that way... except I don't even have the time to respond to every single post on one of my threads. I've lived with lurking for 2 1/2+ years now though, longer won't make too much of a difference.

I feel ya. I don't even bother in role plays cause nobody notices me. Unless I make an interesting thread and respond to everybody's posts on it, I'm invisible.



I RP because it's the only place where people do pay any attention to me. I posted a comment on another thread that no one payed attention to until someone else posted nearly the same thing I had.

Get over it.

My current gf and I both had crushes on eachother but never knew it until I asked her to my junior prom... then the sparks just exploded. ;)

Moral of the story? Take your chances, it's not gonna kill you.

I RP because it's the only place where people do pay any attention to me. I posted a comment on another thread that no one payed attention to until someone else posted nearly the same thing I had.
Maybe we should form a Federation of the Unnoticed for all of us unknowns to gather and discuss plots for lowering petrol prices, read obscure works of 20th century Norwegian literature, and/or share recipes for chocolate cake. *ponders*

You could spontaneously explode.

That would probably be worse.

You could spontaneously explode.

That would probably be worse.

Not really. You'd never know it. Now if just a part of you spontaneously exploded, then that'd be bad.

You mean unrequited love?

Yet another one that nobody can ever seem to spell correctly. :D

Maybe we should form a Federation of the Unnoticed for all of us unknowns to gather and discuss plots for lowering petrol prices, read obscure works of 20th century Norwegian literature, and/or share recipes for chocolate cake. *ponders*

You're welcome to read our litterature, but don't touch those prices!

I am in love with a friend who loves another.

My question; is there anything worse?

Yeah, it's shit, but being in love with someone that ends up hating you is worse.

I am in love with a friend who loves another.

My question; is there anything worse?
I hear trapping your cods between two bricks is fairly nasty.