NationStates Jolt Archive


Conspiracy Theories Vol. 3

Neo Kervoskia
20-04-2006, 23:22
It's that time again.............



DHomme is an anti-revisionist.

Keruvalia is a puppet of himself

Potaria is actually a male

Tactical Grace is a computer program created by Reploid Productions and funded by Jerry Falwell and Microsoft.

Undelia is a Christian and is tolerant and everybody.
DHomme
21-04-2006, 01:12
Neo Kervoskia's posts are in fact the product of a thousand monkeys sitting at a thousand typewriters who have taken a thousand hits of LSD.
Pantygraigwen
21-04-2006, 01:15
It's that time again.............



DHomme is an anti-revisionist.

Keruvalia is a puppet of himself

Potaria is actually a male

Tactical Grace is a computer program created by Reploid Productions and funded by Jerry Falwell and Microsoft.

Undelia is a Christian and is tolerant and everybody.

Everything i say is a lie.

Including that sentence.
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
21-04-2006, 01:37
Everything i say is a lie.

Including that sentence.
I, on the other hand, am incapable of lying, and so you can trust everything that I say.
Especially the parts about the Space Jew and the International Communazi Conspiracy of Poland (http://www.iccp.net/) (don't believe the lies on that propaganda website, they are merely trying to hide their evil actions by masquerading as a completely different organization).
Kryozerkia
21-04-2006, 01:40
There is a massive conspiracy by the Native Aboriginals of Canada...

They're summoning up poltergeists and sending them off to haunt various Canadians. Because the Natives haven't been able to get their land back, they're taking drastic measures.

I know first hand because I got a poltergeist that follows me and there are rumours of an ancient burial ground near my place...

Many other innocent Canadians are caught up in this and Sinhue is at the centre of this, with her voodoo like magic!!
New Granada
21-04-2006, 01:44
There is a massive conspiracy by the Native Aboriginals of Canada...

They're summoning up poltergeists and sending them off to haunt various Canadians. Because the Natives haven't been able to get their land back, they're taking drastic measures.

I know first hand because I got a poltergeist that follows me and there are rumours of an ancient burial ground near my place...

Many other innocent Canadians are caught up in this and Sinhue is at the centre of this, with her voodoo like magic!!

You've stumbled across the beginning of truth.

It was the indians who did 9/11.
Quaon
21-04-2006, 01:44
I am a nuclear bomb, sent by Neo-Marxists.
The Cat-Tribe
21-04-2006, 01:48
It's that time again.............



DHomme is an anti-revisionist.

Keruvalia is a puppet of himself

Potaria is actually a male

Tactical Grace is a computer program created by Reploid Productions and funded by Jerry Falwell and Microsoft.

Undelia is a Christian and is tolerant and everybody.


All of these are true, but some are more true than others.
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
21-04-2006, 01:49
*snip*
Canada itself (and, by extension, all Canadian NSers) are just a massive anti-US conspiracy on the part of Europe, with inside help from North Dakota and Alaska. North Dakotans want to convince everyone that there really are more northerly and frigid places in the world, and Alaska uses Canada like an imaginary friend to compensate for the fact that they are one of two non-contiguous states (and are, therefore, not able to participate in many of America's sweepstakes/spam campaigns).
No one knows what Europe gets out of having Canada around, though many theorize that it has something to do with the recent string of murders involving funny bacon and maple syrup.
Utracia
21-04-2006, 01:52
Human civilization is actually a giant ant farm for some crazy aliens. Natural disasters like the Tsunami and Katrina are their version of stepping on an anthill on a massive scale. The aliens will most likely get bored eventually and wipe us out with tossing an asteroid on us or something. :(
DrunkenDove
21-04-2006, 01:53
There is no Iran.

I've said too much.
Kryozerkia
21-04-2006, 01:54
No one knows what Europe gets out of having Canada around, though many theorize that it has something to do with the recent string of murders involving funny bacon and maple syrup.
*Speaks into mic on her lapel* They've discovered our secret stockpiles of BackBacon and Maple Syrup; they know too much... We must confuse them by making them eat Timbits with chemical substances that induce amnesia...
Gaizen
21-04-2006, 02:13
I know what you need to make a hydrogen bomb! Stick Lysol, burning toothpicks and a plastic bowl of any generic cereal into a microwave. Shake well and throw.

I also know the recipe for Dr. Pepper, but that's too much.

*commits suicide*
Gaizen
21-04-2006, 02:15
*comes back to life*

I forgot to tell you that Chad won the space race.
Rotovia-
21-04-2006, 02:39
There is no Holland.
AllCoolNamesAreTaken
21-04-2006, 03:18
There is no Holland.

WHAT! Noooooooooooooooo
Straughn
21-04-2006, 08:45
Canada itself (and, by extension, all Canadian NSers) are just a massive anti-US conspiracy on the part of Europe, with inside help from North Dakota and Alaska. North Dakotans want to convince everyone that there really are more northerly and frigid places in the world, and Alaska uses Canada like an imaginary friend to compensate for the fact that they are one of two non-contiguous states (and are, therefore, not able to participate in many of America's sweepstakes/spam campaigns).
Now now, that's just crazy talk, pardner.
*grits teeth*






*unbinds garotte*
Xislakilinia
21-04-2006, 10:04
Now now, that's just crazy talk, pardner.
*grits teeth*






*unbinds garotte*

And Straughn is actually Edward Scissorhands.
Straughn
21-04-2006, 10:09
And Straughn is actually Edward Scissorhands.Don't let my lacerated face or genitals give you the wrong impression!
Perhaps i ... well, threw a beer bottle or two into an industrial set fan! While i was pleasuring myself with a jacuzzi intake! Or perhaps i've kissed too many of the wrong cats after some "heavy petting!" :mad:


SHeesh, some people. You ought to be one of the characters on the NS Soap Opera. ;)
AllCoolNamesAreTaken
21-04-2006, 10:14
No, no, no. You people do not seem to understand. If there is no Holland, there is no Amsterdam. And if there is no Amsterdam, THERE IS NO FREE PLACE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. We are all just pawns. Lemmings. Gears in the corporate machine. Worthless. Tools.
Xislakilinia
21-04-2006, 10:21
Don't let my lacerated face or genitals give you the wrong impression!
Perhaps i ... well, threw a beer bottle or two into an industrial set fan! While i was pleasuring myself with a jacuzzi intake! Or perhaps i've kissed too many of the wrong cats after some "heavy petting!" :mad:


SHeesh, some people. You ought to be one of the characters on the NS Soap Opera. ;)

Well! Well well well well well (from Clockwork "Malcolm kicks ass" Orange)! Eddie the thread shredder says I should be on NS Soaps and Mopes.

*Brain blanks out for two seconds*:confused:

Says you!:rolleyes:
Jesuites
21-04-2006, 10:25
Ouch...

I hear some boots noise in the stairs...














too late
Cameroi
21-04-2006, 10:27
everyone conspires. when one's self is a party to it, now a days we generaly call it 'networking'. it's what we conspire FOR that counts (or against as those who conspire against us might see it).

i'd like to conspire against anyone having to worry about anything. that would be the real freedom.

as it is, we just grow our catnip and try to stay out from under larger people's feet.

=^^=
.../\...
Straughn
21-04-2006, 10:58
Well! Well well well well well (from Clockwork "Malcolm kicks ass" Orange)! Eddie the thread shredder says I should be on NS Soaps and Mopes.

*Brain blanks out for two seconds*:confused:

Says you!:rolleyes:
They're missing an element or two, and you seem to have a niche appeal!

http://www.abestweb.com/smilies/chased.gif


EDIT:BTW, there many garotte smilies out there? I'm obviously not having much luck with that, and Fiddleysticks isn't known for his patience. ;)
I V Stalin
21-04-2006, 11:25
The Cold War was a conspiracy involving New Zealand, Argentina, France, and Malta, designed to destroy both America and the Soviet Union. All other countries of the world were in on it, but those four were the brains behind it. Well, no. France provided the food, but no brains.

However, when that failed, Malta took over the BBC, and then orchestrated the first Gulf War, in order to eventually destroy Israel. This is part of the international anti-Zionist conspiracy, but that's a completely different story.

This also failed, so it then took drastic action and destroyed the Twin Towers. America nearly declared war on Malta because of this, but by wearing a fake nose and moustache that it bought from a joke shop in the international equivalent of 'round the corner' (Paraguay), Malta managed to disguise itself and lay the blame on the Muslims instead.

Now that America is tied up trying to maintain law and order in Iraq, Malta will stage a coup d'etat in the US, throwing out Bush, Cheney, etc, and installing Lenin's corpse as the leader. Bush will go into hiding in Mexico, and try to mastermind a plan to take back the US, but he'll mistake Mali for Arizona, and instead will try to take that over. The UN will intervene, give Mali back to the Malians, and dunk Bush into the Pacific Ocean from a helicopter.
AllCoolNamesAreTaken
21-04-2006, 12:24
The Cold War was a conspiracy involving New Zealand, Argentina, France, and Malta, designed to destroy both America and the Soviet Union. All other countries of the world were in on it, but those four were the brains behind it. Well, no. France provided the food, but no brains.

However, when that failed, Malta took over the BBC, and then orchestrated the first Gulf War, in order to eventually destroy Israel. This is part of the international anti-Zionist conspiracy, but that's a completely different story.

This also failed, so it then took drastic action and destroyed the Twin Towers. America nearly declared war on Malta because of this, but by wearing a fake nose and moustache that it bought from a joke shop in the international equivalent of 'round the corner' (Paraguay), Malta managed to disguise itself and lay the blame on the Muslims instead.

Now that America is tied up trying to maintain law and order in Iraq, Malta will stage a coup d'etat in the US, throwing out Bush, Cheney, etc, and installing Lenin's corpse as the leader. Bush will go into hiding in Mexico, and try to mastermind a plan to take back the US, but he'll mistake Mali for Arizona, and instead will try to take that over. The UN will intervene, give Mali back to the Malians, and dunk Bush into the Pacific Ocean from a helicopter.

*confused*
So...after all this happens...do we still get to kill all the Muslims?
Squornshelous
21-04-2006, 12:28
My entire life, and by extension all of NS, is a bizarre, drug induced halucination caused by interrogation techniques of aliens who abducted me as a child. None of you actually exist.
I V Stalin
21-04-2006, 13:07
*confused*
So...after all this happens...do we still get to kill all the Muslims?
Only if you work for the BBC.
Wallonochia
21-04-2006, 13:53
When I was in high school we had a severely long running joke that there were no countries outside of the US, but the government wanted us to believe that there were for some reason. Anyone who comes from "foreign country" is a government agent, and any time you go to a "foreign country" the government uses some sort of gas to knock you out on the plane and then lands at a secret government facility in Nevada that is made up to look like "Mexico" or "France".
Kryozerkia
21-04-2006, 14:05
What? No one thinks that the poltergeist one is true? Geez... that's... wah!
Rambhutan
21-04-2006, 15:29
Whittier is Donald Rumsfeld
Straughn
22-04-2006, 03:10
When I was in high school we had a severely long running joke that there were no countries outside of the US, but the government wanted us to believe that there were for some reason. Anyone who comes from "foreign country" is a government agent, and any time you go to a "foreign country" the government uses some sort of gas to knock you out on the plane and then lands at a secret government facility in Nevada that is made up to look like "Mexico" or "France".
Well, the most convincing part of "Mexico" is all the chessboards, cheap guitars and perilous water.
As for "France", well, that's a tough aroma to replicate. I wouldn't invest too much in that venture.
Straughn
22-04-2006, 03:11
This is part of the international anti-Zionist conspiracy, but that's a completely different story.
Not completely ... that's the beauty of conspiracies ;)
Himleret
22-04-2006, 03:23
Everything i say is a lie.

Including that sentence.
So thats a lie to?
Straughn
22-04-2006, 03:45
So thats a lie to?
Saavik: "You lied!"

Spock: "I exaggerated."
Galloism
22-04-2006, 04:25
I don't actually exist. I am an AI that drifts from PC to PC posting on nationstates in my spare time. However, I continue to work toward my ultimate goal: infiltrating George Bush's head. Yes, he's a robot.

Once I find a computer that hooks directly to Bush, I will take over him and conquer the world. So, when you see Bush's intelligence level suddenly soar and him start making smart decisions, it means I have succeeded.

Wish me luck!
Straughn
22-04-2006, 04:36
I don't actually exist. I am an AI that drifts from PC to PC posting on nationstates in my spare time. However, I continue to work toward my ultimate goal: infiltrating George Bush's head. Yes, he's a robot.

Once I find a computer that hooks directly to Bush, I will take over him and conquer the world. So, when you see Bush's intelligence level suddenly soar and him start making smart decisions, it means I have succeeded.

Wish me luck!
Uhm he's damaged goods so you'll need more than luck. You'll need guile that'll surpass years of a coke-perforated brain, semi-saturated liver, cavernous and thus concussion-inclined skull, and "reborn" spirituality to overcome and control. Plus a bit of genetic garbage as well. I don't envy you, but, fight the good fight!
Jerusalas
22-04-2006, 04:37
Wyoming is not, in fact, a state in he Union.

Wyoming is not, in fact, located on the planet earth.

Certain scientists, who have been assassinated by heartattack (or stroke) were said to have believed that Wyoming was located somewhere in the Orion Nebula. Although this area of space has been closely scrutinized in search of Wyoming, nothing has been turned up, except for a few fuzzy images of a pair of homosexual, homophobic, wolf-killing, river-poisoning, cattle-wranglers (aka Wyoming). Later photographs have proven that this is nothing but a trick of the eye, although many suspect that Wyoming was moved to the Dark Horse Nebula in an attempt to avoid closer scrutinization.
Galloism
22-04-2006, 04:37
Uhm he's damaged goods so you'll need more than luck. You'll need guile that'll surpass years of a coke-perforated brain, semi-saturated liver, cavernous and thus concussion-inclined skull, and "reborn" spirituality to overcome and control. Plus a bit of genetic garbage as well. I don't envy you, but, fight the good fight!

Hmm, maybe I'll wait for the next robot president.
Straughn
22-04-2006, 04:55
Hmm, maybe I'll wait for the next robot president.
Well, it's not all uphill. They've got a cure for syphilis, perhaps even third stage, which i may have neglected to mention. That'll help a little.
Remember - baby steps, baby steps.