NationStates Jolt Archive

A fake doctor goes door to door and gives out free breast exams

genius? *yes I know sexual assault is horrible! sheesh!*

Some people are so gullible!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060420/od_nm/breasts_dc

Fucking idiots. Great photo of the guy, though.

Best scam ever! :p

At least I knew that man who came to my door at 3AM was a doctor, why else would he give me a physical.

Its unbelievable how freaking guillable some people are.


"M'am, you have a condition here that requires I deliver an antibiotic orally through my penis".

Its unbelievable how freaking guillable some people are.


"M'am, you have a condition here that requires I deliver an antibiotic orally through my penis".


And because I care about your health I will see to it that you always get a free prescription.

And because I care about your health I will see to it that you always get a free prescription.
*wink... poke... nudge*

*wink... poke... nudge*


ok fine... free prescriptions for everybody!!!

And because I care about your health I will see to it that you always get a free prescription.


"I'll also have to examine any of your female friends you've had contact with recently"

Sounds good! When can I expect you?

That is too funny! The man's a damn genius! It worked at least twice!

*digs out bikini inspector t-shirt*

Sounds good! When can I expect you?


I'll be coming around 3:00 PM. So see you at 2:45.

Oh, and sometimes I suffer from hysteria. I would like the traditional therapy for that as well.

I'll be coming around 3:00 PM. So see you at 2:45.
Nice innuendo!

Oh, and sometimes I suffer from hysteria. I would like the traditional therapy for that as well.

That's the treatment that requires rope and a ball gag right?

That's the treatment that requires rope and a ball gag right?
You're the doctor, Dr.

You're the doctor, Dr.

I am? OH erm, yes... I am! Wonderful, very well then.. Please be showered for my arrival... to save time don't bother getting dressed.

To hear a humorous editorial on this news story by a Philadelphia area radio personality named "Hot Wings", click the link below and then click the first link from that page. You can't miss it, it's got a picture of the door-to-door mamogram guy on it.

http://www.freebeerandhotwings.com/commentary.asp

Heh... Reminds me of an old Email Joke.

"Just thought I should pass on this warning. Sounds legitimate.

There is another awful scam going on out there. You should send this to any women you know and care about.

If a man comes to your door, says he is conducting a survey and asks you to show him your tits, DO NOT SHOW HIM YOUR TITS.

This is a scam.

He is only trying to see your tits."

I was wondering how far I would get if I went around offering free Penis exams door to door?

That man is my hero, now. I'm especially fond of this:
One woman became suspicious after the man asked her to remove all her clothes and began conducting a purported genital exam without donning rubber gloves, investigators said.
Really, What the fuck?
Some crazy looking guy comes to her door, asks her to strip down for a free breast exam, but none of this makes her suspicious. No, no, it was the lack of gloves that tipped her off. To think, if that man had just stopped by a CVS on the way to her house, he might have gotten away with it.

Still, you got to admit...it'd be a great service if it were legit.

I was wondering how far I would get if I went around offering free Penis exams door to door?

Much further than the breast exam guy...

... where are you canvasing exactly... :p

That man is my hero, now. I'm especially fond of this:

Really, What the fuck?
Some crazy looking guy comes to her door, asks her to strip down for a free breast exam, but none of this makes her suspicious. No, no, it was the lack of gloves that tipped her off. To think, if that man had just stopped by a CVS on the way to her house, he might have gotten away with it.
Really, he was examining her "genital region" on a door to door "breast exam" and she was tipped off by lack of gloves? I think she is stupider than the rest of them.

Much further than the breast exam guy...

... where are you canvasing exactly... :p


Well, oddly enough.....

Yonge Street

Well, oddly enough.....

Yonge Street

Yonge Street? In that case you might go far... *checks medical records for most recent 'check-up'*

Why is it always the guys who look like Milton from Office Space who end up doing these sorts of things?

Yonge Street? In that case you might go far... *checks medical records for most recent 'check-up'*

Why is it always the guys who look like Milton from Office Space who end up doing these sorts of things?

*knocks on Door*

'Hello Sir, I am not a nurse, but I have the outfit....and I am in the neighbourhood offering to examine penises, I am afraid that you need to undress completely and I don't have any gloves...is it OK if I come in?'

Oh...I thought you meant Yonge street in Toronto!

Oh...I thought you meant Yonge street in Toronto!

I did! My Canadian Sex Slave is from Toronto...bless his little cotton socks :fluffle:

weird...that looks just like the guy who stopped by the other night to give me my prostate exam.....



wait a tick...:eek:

*knocks on Door*

'Hello Sir, I am not a nurse, but I have the outfit....and I am in the neighbourhood offering to examine penises, I am afraid that you need to undress completely and I don't have any gloves...is it OK if I come in?'

*scans the road for hidden cameras, giggling pals, or knife wielding goons*

'Uh... sure.'

'Hey... Pauly, Sam, Jimbo, Danny, Phil, Bobby, Diego... come on down and getcher tallywacker's checked out.'

Yeah. It would work.

*scans the road for hidden cameras, giggling pals, or knife wielding goons*

'Uh... sure.'

'Hey... Pauly, Sam, Jimbo, Danny, Phil, Bobby, Diego... come on down and getcher tallywacker's checked out.'

Yeah. It would work.


I can see that Sir! ;) Now we just need to see if it will fit in here....

I can see that Sir! ;) Now we just need to see if it will fit in here....

LOL! Welcome to Canada... (but be wary of Oshawa... the land where the mullet never died...)

LOL! Welcome to Canada... (but be wary of Oshawa... the land where the mullet never died...)

I gathered that by my own Canadians rather dated taste in heavy metal music

But I have to say that I think that all English women should date Canadian guys...I am a fan!

And this penis exam thing is great! *knocks on next door*

I gathered that by my own Canadians rather dated taste in heavy metal music

But I have to say that I think that all English women should date Canadian guys...I am a fan!

And this penis exam thing is great! *knocks on next door*
It is a fool proof plan. If anyone ever asks to see your qualifications they're obviously using innuendo. Lots and lots of it.

It is a fool proof plan. If anyone ever asks to see your qualifications they're obviously using innuendo. Lots and lots of it.


I have no idea what you mean? Do you need me to examine your penis?

Lol...the guy looks pretty freakish.

I have no idea what you mean? Do you need me to examine your penis?

That's a stupid question, of course I do. Everyone does. Well everyone with a penis.

I have no idea what you mean? Do you need me to examine your penis?
Sure, I've got about 20 nailed to my drawing room wall, and a few more in a box under the bed. Be careful that you don't accidentally get lost and go to the library by mistake, that's where I'm keeping my finger collection, and they don't need examinations.

Sure, I've got about 20 nailed to my drawing room wall, and a few more in a box under the bed. Be careful that you don't accidentally get lost and go to the library by mistake, that's where I'm keeping my finger collection, and they don't need examinations.

After all this time can you actually tell the difference between the two?

LOL! Welcome to Canada... (but be wary of Oshawa... the land where the mullet never died...)

You, sir, have clearly never engaged in the youthful activity of mullet hunting at Montana Wal*Mart's, have you?

What a perv! O.O And what stupid women!

*Ding Dong!*

Billy: Hi
Sally: Hi
Billy: Can I see your tits?
Sally: Are you here to give me a free breast exam?
Billy: Is your mom, home?
Sally: No.
Billy: Then yes.

Carisbrooke, do you need an assistant? :D

Carisbrooke, do you need an assistant? :D

Why Yes! Do you have a Nurses outfit? if not then you can get a really nice one at this special shop I know......you might need some talc...this rubber is a pig to get on without it...

OK, we will start at the end of the street and work our way along, shall we work together or seperate and you do the odds and I'll do the even numbers? What do you think? Will this work better with two rubber clad 'nurses'?

Guys, I need some input here, if two scantily dressed 'NURSES' knocked on your door offering to strip you and 'examine' your penis....would that be something you would go for?

Guys, I need some input here, if two scantily dressed 'NURSES' knocked on your door offering to strip you and 'examine' your penis....would that be something you would go for?

Do you really need to ask? :D

Any man that would say no needs a real examination. :D

Why Yes! Do you have a Nurses outfit? if not then you can get a really nice one at this special shop I know......you might need some talc...this rubber is a pig to get on without it...

OK, we will start at the end of the street and work our way along, shall we work together or seperate and you do the odds and I'll do the even numbers? What do you think? Will this work better with two rubber clad 'nurses'?

Guys, I need some input here, if two scantily dressed 'NURSES' knocked on your door offering to strip you and 'examine' your penis....would that be something you would go for?

All right! ;) First it was Cabra West and Beautiful Darkness, now it's Cabra West and Carisbrooke. Need... camcorder... where when you need it...

*Fumbles with camcorder*

Now just face each other, girls... you can put on the nurse cap... and yes unbutton the top two... PERFECT!

*Presses record*

Sweet.

All right! ;) First it was Cabra West and Beautiful Darkness, now it's Cabra West and Carisbrooke. Need... camcorder... where when you need it...

*Fumbles with camcorder*

Now just face each other, girls... you can put on the nurse cap... and yes unbutton the top two... PERFECT!

*Presses record*

Sweet.


*turns from Cabra West, with tightly fitting unfeasably short rubber outfit open to the waist and dark lusturous hair falling unruly and wavy to just below my almost visible nipples*

I have no idea why this thread has become so sexualised! I mean, here we are, just two almost naked women, glistening and pouting at each other whilst we strip you and fondle your penis...and all you can think of is sex!?

What is wrong with you!

Sounds good! When can I expect you?
I think we should set up regular exams twice a week or so. I've got lots of other patients, so that's about as often as I could manage.

Hehe She thinks I have lots of patients!;)

*turns from Cabra West, with tightly fitting unfeasably short rubber outfit open to the waist and dark lusturous hair falling unruly and wavy to just below my almost visible nipples*

I have no idea why this thread has become so sexualised! I mean, here we are, just two almost naked women, glistening and pouting at each other whilst we strip you and fondle your penis...and all you can think of is sex!?

What is wrong with you!

:eek:

*Wipes misty viewfinder frantically with shirt sleeves*

Come on! What's with this excessive perspiration... dammit...

Is that an almost visible nipple? Argggghhhhh! Think Margaret Thatcher on a cold day... Margaret Thatcher on a cold day...:D

:eek:

*Wipes misty viewfinder frantically with shirt sleeves*

Come on! What's with this excessive perspiration... dammit...

Is that an almost visible nipple? Argggghhhhh! Think Margaret Thatcher on a cold day... Margaret Thatcher on a cold day...:D


Now...put the camcorder down like a good boy...and let the nice nurse touch you.....


Don't worry, although I have no proffesional training, I have seen films with naked people in them, and watched ER once or twice, I also warmed my hands. So you can feel totally confident in my ability to make sure that everything is just as it should be.....

*knocks on Door*

'Hello Sir, I am not a nurse, but I have the outfit....and I am in the neighbourhood offering to examine penises, I am afraid that you need to undress completely and I don't have any gloves...is it OK if I come in?'
I'd definitely let you in. :cool:

Now...put the camcorder down like a good boy...and let the nice nurse touch you.....


Don't worry, although I have no proffesional training, I have seen films with naked people in them, and watched ER once or twice, I also warmed my hands. So you can feel totally confident in my ability to make sure that everything is just as it should be.....

But... you don't understand, Nurse Carisbrooke, I've always been at the sidelines, watching people get it on... I never get any action... it's so frustrating...

*Sheds a tear*:(

Mammmmy!

*Buries face in Carisbrooke's bosom pals.*

Why Yes! Do you have a Nurses outfit? if not then you can get a really nice one at this special shop I know......you might need some talc...this rubber is a pig to get on without it...

OK, we will start at the end of the street and work our way along, shall we work together or seperate and you do the odds and I'll do the even numbers? What do you think? Will this work better with two rubber clad 'nurses'?

Guys, I need some input here, if two scantily dressed 'NURSES' knocked on your door offering to strip you and 'examine' your penis....would that be something you would go for?

I think it would be best to work together... you know, sharing our experience. I'm still in training, you know?

Oh, and can I wear these high-heel black leather boots with the uniform?

Why Yes! Do you have a Nurses outfit? if not then you can get a really nice one at this special shop I know......you might need some talc...this rubber is a pig to get on without it...

OK, we will start at the end of the street and work our way along, shall we work together or seperate and you do the odds and I'll do the even numbers? What do you think? Will this work better with two rubber clad 'nurses'?

Guys, I need some input here, if two scantily dressed 'NURSES' knocked on your door offering to strip you and 'examine' your penis....would that be something you would go for?
That depends. Do they hail from Castle Anthrax?

Do you really need to ask? :D

Any man that would say no needs a real examination. :D
:eek: Boy, there goes my mental picture of you. :p

I think it would be best to work together... you know, sharing our experience. I'm still in training, you know?

Oh, and can I wear these high-heel black leather boots with the uniform?

:eek: They are both on! Come on... restart the video recording...

*Activates camcorder*

Can you do that pout please... PERFECT! Now to find a leather whip...

*Camcorder indicates LO-BATT*

Oh shit, why does this always happen? Where are my spares...where...where!!??!:(

*LO-BATT blinks*

Dammit.

All right! ;) First it was Cabra West and Beautiful Darkness, now it's Cabra West and Carisbrooke. Need... camcorder... where when you need it...

*Fumbles with camcorder*

Now just face each other, girls... you can put on the nurse cap... and yes unbutton the top two... PERFECT!

*Presses record*

Sweet.
I am unfamiliar with this Beautiful Darkness.

I am unfamiliar with this Beautiful Darkness.

*Walks in*
"What!!! You're doing a scene without me?!? :eek:

*Walks in*
"What!!! You're doing a scene without me?!? :eek:

*hands her the spar nurse uniform

Hey, you're late for your shift ;)

I have no idea why this thread has become so sexualised!
This is why:
I mean, here we are, just two almost naked women, glistening and pouting at each other whilst we strip you and fondle your penis.

What is wrong with you!
This:
all you can think of is sex!

*hands her the spar nurse uniform

Hey, you're late for your shift ;)

Sorry, I was busy *ahem*
*Puts on skimpy nurse outfit* Ahh, that's better :D

Sorry, I was busy *ahem*
*Puts on skimpy nurse outfit* Ahh, that's better :D

Busy, hm? You've been giving out free examinations without us???

Busy, hm? You've been giving out free examinations without us???

I could never do that to you!
*Gives Cabra a big fluffle and a kiss*
:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

*Walks in*
"What!!! You're doing a scene without me?!? :eek:
What!? Who are you!?
*frantically pulls pants up

*hands her the spar nurse uniform

Hey, you're late for your shift
Oh, okay.
*pulls pants back down

I could never do that to you!
*Gives Cabra a big fluffle and a kiss*
:fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

:eek: Oh my. Threesome girl-on-girl action.

*Camcorder beeps LO-BATT*

*Plugs in DC supply*

Much better.:D

:eek: Oh my. Threesome girl-on-girl action.

*Camcorder beeps LO-BATT*

*Plugs in DC supply*

Much better.:D
If you missed that you would fail at life and automatically go to Hell without passing Go or collecting $200.

http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/nm/20060420/2006_04_20t114829_385x450_us_breasts.jpg

Ahahahahahahaha :p

I can't believe these women fell for this... jesus

:eek: Oh my. Threesome girl-on-girl action.

*Camcorder beeps LO-BATT*

*Plugs in DC supply*

Much better.:D

You know... the weird thing about you is, every other guy would have his privates out for inspection in no time. You, on the other hand, only take out that cam...

http://us.news3.yimg.com/us.i2.yimg.com/p/nm/20060420/2006_04_20t114829_385x450_us_breasts.jpg

Ahahahahahahaha :p
LOL
*giggling histerically
*tries to make humorous remark
*giggles histerically

You know... the weird thing about you is, every other guy would have his privates out for inspection in no time. You, on the other hand, only take out that cam...

Maybe it's a fetish? :eek:

You know... the weird thing about you is, every other guy would have his privates out for inspection in no time. You, on the other hand, only take out that cam...
:eek: Heresy! :eek:

I was consdering a spinoff where I offer free enemas

What can't I post?

Any content that is:

* obscene

The FAQ (http://www.nationstates.net/04041/page=faq#etiquette) should really be all the comment we need to do on this, but evidently this is not the case. To spell it out; cybersex is strictly forbidden. Cabra West, you've been warned about this before; apparently you haven't learned.

Cabra West and Carisbrooke, you're both forumbanned for seven days. I hope not to have a repeat of these circumstances, as further offences of this nature will result in proportionally harsher punishments.

The Beautiful Darkness, this is an official warning; any further instances of this nature will result in a forumban.

The rest of you (Fascist Dominion and Xislakilinia in particular) should know better than to encourage this sort of thing. Likewise, I don't want to see it again; don't do it!

~ Tsar the Mod.