Neo Kervoskia
16-04-2006, 04:38
I'm re-writing the Bible so that it's useful. Here's a snipit. Feel free to add your own bit.
In the beginning, when God had obtained a degree in philosophy, He rented an apartment on the Lower East Side. It was decrepit and darkness covered every corner. Then God purchased a light bulb and said, "This should work." And God saw that the light was dim, but didn't have any money to spend on bulbs. God then spent the remainder of his money on food and it was greasy. God thus spent all of his money and called it broke. This was the first week.
And God said, " I need a job." But there were none. Believing in the welfare state, He obtained a welfare check. So God went to the landlady to pay the rent. And it was so. So there was broke and there was ends-meat. This was on the second week.
And God said, "I really need a job." But there still were none. So God called His parents and obtained three hundred dollars. And God saw that this was adequate. He then proceeded to spend it on food and clothing. This was on the third week.
And God said, "Goddamn it! I need a job.!" But only McDonald's had open positions. He thus became a cashier. He earned minimum wage and barely paid the rent. He had no food and called the feeling hunger. And it was terrible. He called this life in the service-industry. This was on the fourth week.
And God said, " I have a fucking degree in philosophy. I deserve better!" But He received no better. God loathed the service industry for its lack of individuality and extremely low pay, not to mention that he was at least ten years older than his manager. He called this shameful. This was on the fifth week.
And God said, "Would you like fries with that?" And the customer had a coupon for such, so they did. God realized that just a degree in anything, especially philosophy, was as worthless as the paper on which it was printed. The job market is too competitive. God realized that he should have went to graduate school and eventually obtained a phD in something useful. He called this life. This was on the sixth week.
In the beginning, when God had obtained a degree in philosophy, He rented an apartment on the Lower East Side. It was decrepit and darkness covered every corner. Then God purchased a light bulb and said, "This should work." And God saw that the light was dim, but didn't have any money to spend on bulbs. God then spent the remainder of his money on food and it was greasy. God thus spent all of his money and called it broke. This was the first week.
And God said, " I need a job." But there were none. Believing in the welfare state, He obtained a welfare check. So God went to the landlady to pay the rent. And it was so. So there was broke and there was ends-meat. This was on the second week.
And God said, "I really need a job." But there still were none. So God called His parents and obtained three hundred dollars. And God saw that this was adequate. He then proceeded to spend it on food and clothing. This was on the third week.
And God said, "Goddamn it! I need a job.!" But only McDonald's had open positions. He thus became a cashier. He earned minimum wage and barely paid the rent. He had no food and called the feeling hunger. And it was terrible. He called this life in the service-industry. This was on the fourth week.
And God said, " I have a fucking degree in philosophy. I deserve better!" But He received no better. God loathed the service industry for its lack of individuality and extremely low pay, not to mention that he was at least ten years older than his manager. He called this shameful. This was on the fifth week.
And God said, "Would you like fries with that?" And the customer had a coupon for such, so they did. God realized that just a degree in anything, especially philosophy, was as worthless as the paper on which it was printed. The job market is too competitive. God realized that he should have went to graduate school and eventually obtained a phD in something useful. He called this life. This was on the sixth week.