NationStates Jolt Archive

What would you do if, say, someone slaughtered your family or infliected a Kill Bill style coup de grâce on you. However, you live, yadda and you get your revenge. But how would you do it? With a sword or what?

Chloroform, duct tape, pliers, a hammer, and a propane torch. Possibly a philips head screwdriver as well for poking out ear drums. Guns, swords and the like kill too quickly.

Oh noes, you went and ruined the quote with your "motherf**ker".

I shall never forgive you.

Oh noes, you went and ruined the quote with your "motherf**ker".

I shall never forgive you.
Well, I am an asshole and that makes it my solemn duty to fuck up everything that people cherish.

I would become a "Batman-Style" avenger, except alot more crazy.

Well, I am an asshole and that makes it my solemn duty to fuck up everything that people cherish.

Of course.

Count of Monte Christo style (I wouldn't kill them, I'd ruin them).

I'd set them against eachother through guile and subterfuge and when only one were left alive, I'd let him know that it was me all along and then blow him to pieces bit by painful bit with a series of tiny shaped charges planted all over his body.

Then I'd probably play in mud. :)

I would do it "House of 1000 Corpses" style. Leather srtaps, chains, alcohol, bunny suits, the whole shabang. I'd keep em alive for awhile.. or not kill them, but make them my play thing. ;)

EDIT: OHOHOH! Skin graph their feet and make them jump on trampolines!

EDIT: OHOHOH!!!! And throw salt at them!

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." is actually the proper quote.

In the strain of Princess Bride, I'd probably do a "to the pain" kind of revenge, completely disfiguring them. Eventually, tho, I'd probably stab them through the heart. But only after they'd suffered plenty. But I'm sick.

Lemon juice and straight razors.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." is actually the proper quote.

In the strain of Princess Bride, I'd probably do a "to the pain" kind of revenge, completely disfiguring them. Eventually, tho, I'd probably stab them through the heart. But only after they'd suffered plenty. But I'm sick.
Have you read DC's post? It's brutal.

Its punisher style,with a Mk. 48 model 0 LMG (http://world.guns.ru/machine/mg38-e.htm) for me.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." is actually the proper quote.
I know, but the "motherf**ker" was so bad in itself, I could almost forgive him for the rest. Almost.

I'd copy Lunatic Goofballs, except for the mud bit.

I'd copy Lunatic Goofballs, except for the mud bit.

That's the best part! :p

Five or so pounds of C4, a timer detonator, and a clock counting down.

Tie said scumbag to chair. Place bomb just out of reach of the (bolted down) chair. Start the clock, and let him see that it shows 30 minutes. Place the clock facing away from him.

The clock is a dummy. Set the actual detonator for two hours. By the time the bomb goes off, he'll be out of his mind with dread...

Five or so pounds of C4, a timer detonator, and a clock counting down.

Tie said scumbag to chair. Place bomb just out of reach of the (bolted down) chair. Start the clock, and let him see that it shows 30 minutes. Place the clock facing away from him.

The clock is a dummy. Set the actual detonator for two hours. By the time the bomb goes off, he'll be out of his mind with dread...

that allows too much time to have something go wrong. guns are so much more effective.

I don't believe killing someone is a very satisfying way of getting revenge. If I was wronged in such an extreme way that nothing else would satisfy except for arranging the most gruesome fate imaginable those responsible, I definitely wouldn't kill them. They would spend the rest of their days broken and crippled on a hospital bed, unable to do anything but to think every waking second, that their lives are utterly destroyed and there is nothing for them to expect apart from slow, withering death years, maybe decades away.

that allows too much time to have something go wrong. guns are so much more effective.

Bullet in the head. Revenge gotten. People who get creative take the chance of their target getting away.

That's the best part! :p

But these shoes are new.

That or something like in Saw where they have a chance at escape. This possible option of escape would require considerable self sacrifice(e.g. like a limb) to try and take, and would in reality achieve nothing but a change of scenery, the victim escapes from one room into another after ensuring he or she will die due to poison or bloodloss.

I'd have to go with the Mad Max-style execution. Chain the guy to an overturned car by his leg. Then puncture the gas tank and start a slow drain into a broken headlight and set a lit lighter under the headlight. Throw the guy a hacksaw and tell him he has about 3 minutes to cut himself loose before the headlight fills and drips onto the lighter, but with that saw it'll take him 10 minutes to go through the chain. Of course, he can still go through his leg in maybe 2 minutes...

Flaming explosive death or self-mutilation, that's a dilemma.

I would live my life in peace. Then they would probably come to kill me, and that would be their big mistake. The moment they walked in the door, I would rush them, grab the Bill's gun, and use his body as a shield while I shot everyone else. Then I would shoot Bill in the nuts. Then I would tear out his jugular with my teeth, then I would beat on his skull with the sharp end of a shovel, yelling "DIE, DIE, DIE! I AM EVIL! I AM EVIL! ArghAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Man, I'm dark. I guess I could peg this up as some healthy exorcism, but I'm not sure it's healthy.

Its punisher style,with a Mk. 48 model 0 LMG (http://world.guns.ru/machine/mg38-e.htm) for me.

I love overkill.

Count of Monte Christo style (I wouldn't kill them, I'd ruin them). Right on. That's the way to go. Use their own greed, avaraice, pride, etc, against them.

What would you do if, say, someone slaughtered your family or infliected a Kill Bill style coup de grâce on you. However, you live, yadda and you get your revenge. But how would you do it? With a sword or what?
Trust me ... you do NOT want to know! Mwahahahaha! :D

I'd hire Eutrusca.

I'd hire Eutrusca.
LOL! Well, I'm not cheap you know! :D

What would you do if, say, someone slaughtered your family or infliected a Kill Bill style coup de grâce on you. However, you live, yadda and you get your revenge. But how would you do it? With a sword or what?


I'd thank him and buy the guy a beer.

LOL! Well, I'm not cheap you know! :D
I'll give you $5.

Well if I wanted to be stealthy and physical, I'd buy black Ninja garments and take them out with my Kamas while they were sleeping. If I wanted to be stealthy but do it from afar, I'd use a sniper rifle and shoot them between the eyes. If I wanted to be in their face and physical, I'd just beat them to death.

Then again, I'm not one for revenge.

I'll give you $5.
:rolleyes:

LOL! Well, I'm not cheap you know! :DYeah, people like us value human life very much. That's why our rates for taking it are so high...:p

I would obtain revenge via my county's legal system. I'd owe it to my family not to risk losing my own life or becoming a murderous psycho.

(Now everyone's going to accuse me of being a kill joy. Or rather a not kill joy.)

Yeah, people like us value human life very much. That's why our rates for taking it are so high...:p
You know ... I like the way you think! :D

You know ... I like the way you think! :DSadly, I must confess I stole that line from Terry Pratchett...:(

Hammer and hypnotism, Oldboy style.

Well, since the best revenge is a good life, I'd get a nice suit, a plasma TV, and a leather coach. And I would paint the walls a new color.

Well, since the best revenge is a good life, I'd get a nice suit, a plasma TV, and a leather coach. And I would paint the walls a new color.
You're a monster.

A SS-18 carrying 15, 250 kiliton thermonuclear warheads aimed in a circular pattern around the bastards location... he would either be vaporized or crushed by the shockwaves...

A SS-18 carrying 15, 250 kiliton thermonuclear warheads aimed in a circular pattern around the bastards location... he would either be vaporized or crushed by the shockwaves...
Right...so where would you get them from?

Right...so where would you get them from?I'm more interested in how s/he'd avoid all the other people wanting to avenge their families after that...

Count of Monte Christo style (I wouldn't kill them, I'd ruin them).
Yeah, definitely, this is the best, assuming the law can't punish them for me. My revenge would last their entire lives. Piece by piece I would take from them everything they loved, valued, or desired. I would engineer their failure in everything they tried to do. At some point, subtly, I would clue them who their secret enemy was, but I would never give them anything they could ever use against me. Everything I do to them would be strictly legal -- at least technically so. And eventually, I would let the story of my beef with them go public -- with proof of it -- but only after I had nearly crushed the life out of them. And all the while I was destroying them, I would be enjoying my own life -- nice lifestyle, plenty of friends (who used to be theirs), decent reputation, etc. And I would never stop until my enemy was my crawling little bitch, chewed up and spat out, with no options left but suicide or despair. And when he finally dies, I'll wear a red dress to his funeral.

That would be fun.

I'm more interested in how s/he'd avoid all the other people wanting to avenge their families after that...
And the chain of death begins...

I'd use an assasins crossbow with explosive tipped arrows. Said explosives are on a timer - say 10 seconds. A swift shot to the leg results in a non fatal wound. The murderer finds cover and removes the arrow - beep, BOOM!

What would you do if, say, someone slaughtered your family or infliected a Kill Bill style coup de grâce on you. However, you live, yadda and you get your revenge. But how would you do it? With a sword or what?

I'd take a line from that old telephone company slogan, and "reach out and touch someone" with one of these: http://www.barrettrifles.com/rifles/rifles_82A1.htm

Find everything they love and do a one up on them in regards to everything they did to me.

Thank them.

Wrap them up in chicken wire real tight, then slice off the pieces of flesh that stick out with a cut-throat razor. Use salt to help congeal the blood so it doesn't get too messy mwahahaha

But these shoes are new.

That or something like in Saw where they have a chance at escape. This possible option of escape would require considerable self sacrifice(e.g. like a limb) to try and take, and would in reality achieve nothing but a change of scenery, the victim escapes from one room into another after ensuring he or she will die due to poison or bloodloss.
The key behind the eye :eek:

Probably get some military buddies together and make use of my assualt weapon collection.

Easy. I pay Chuck Norris all of the insurance money I got from my family's death for a pint of his blood, then switch out my DNA for physical prowess with the DNA from his blood. I will then hunt all the killers down.

I would put them other, and then surgically implant bombs in all of their bodies. I would then threaten each one into giving me a massive amount of money in exchange for their lives.

After I got the money, I would just kill them anyway.

Wait, no. I doubt the DNA switch-out-thing would work. So I would hire Mr. Pancor (http://world.guns.ru/shotgun/sh10-e.htm) instead. Mr. Pancor will easily kill them all.

Damnit, I thought this was going to be a thread about The Princess Bride.

Damnit, I thought this was going to be a thread about The Princess Bride.

What's stopping you from making it about it? This is NS general after all threads.

Reservoir Dogs style.

*cues Stuck In The Middle With You*

I'd thrash them with a cat-o'-nine-tails with fish hooks attached to the end. Then, I'd rub chilli oil, lime and salt into the wounds. I'd keep the room unbearably hot and humid so the wounds take a long time to heal, and the salty sweat antagonises the wound as they slowly die of thirst.

Let them rot in prison for the rest of their lives.

Vengeance is overrated.

Hell hath no fury like the American legal system.

1) Thank them and buy them all beers.
2) Put sleeping pills in all the beers.
3) They wake up strapped to long metal tables in my basement, naked...
4) I pull out my collection of scalpels, pliers, screwdrivers, saws, alkali solutions, lime oil, thin glass tubes, hammers, rope, chains....
5) After several hours of keeping them alive, I throw them out of the house mutilated, bleeding, &c. while my cult kills off their families and friends one by one.
6) They will eventually die of hypothermia and blood loss from wandering the streets naked and injured at night, and/or heart attacks upon discovering the deaths of their loved ones at the same time.

:p

If it were the heat of the moment, I'd probably do my best to snap their neck. If it were later on, y'know, I think I'd have to just let the legal system do it's thing. If it didn't, on the other hand, maybe I'd go back to the snap the neck plan.

I'd start off by drugging them. Then I would tie them all (naked) to a piece of chicken wire stretched tight between two very obvious car batteries. On the wall would be a calendar with the days crossed off, only it would say it is two days earlier than it should be. I would make sure the first thing they see as they come round is me playing with one of those semi-automatic corkscrew thingies. Then I'd call my butch lesbian sister into the room, and tell her to fetch me: exactly 1.613 metres of fishing wire, a bowl of figs, and five bottles of ginger beer. Then when she asked what for, I'd say "I wanna stinkfist the bastard". Then knock him out.

When he wakes up, he would be back in his home, no obvious physical damage, but a splitting headache (and assache), with slight traces of ginger beer around his anus. He would find the figs a few days later, in his ears. Then about a week later I'd do it again (but this time with a tennis ball, 1.613 metres of garden hose, and a fountain pen). Then again about a year later (with even more inventive measures). They would become so paranoid, they wouldnt suspect the stab in the kidneys that would come on exactly the tenth anniversary of their evil doings.

Oh, and I would bugger around with his will and make sure all his stuff goes to me.

Oh god I am a cruel, cruel man...

For the main dish, The Count of Monte Cristo.

For desert, And Then There Were None.

Or, take everything they ever valued. Crush it and destroy it. And then hold up an illusion of hope for a new, better life (treasure at an isolated, abandoned island resort). And then kill them off one by one, until only two remain, and let paranoia and greed do the rest.

And the survivor gets arrested for the murder of all his fellows. :D

EDIT: Oh. And visit them in jail once a week, just to remind them of 'the good old days' and how they'll never expirience them ever again.

Burry them alive.Simple effactive torture resulting in death 99% of the time.Bordom the other 1%;)

What would you do if, say, someone slaughtered your family or infliected a Kill Bill style coup de grâce on you. However, you live, yadda and you get your revenge. But how would you do it? With a sword or what?

I'd stick them in a locked room with Phil Collins' music piped in.

For all eternity.

I wonder how much pain would be caused by slowly snapping someone's neck.
In the movies they always do it in one quick, two second motion.
What if you used a machine to slow down the process to perhaps, a few minutes of grinding bone?

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." is actually the proper quote.

In the strain of Princess Bride, I'd probably do a "to the pain" kind of revenge, completely disfiguring them. Eventually, tho, I'd probably stab them through the heart. But only after they'd suffered plenty. But I'm sick.

Hey you stole my idea! Except I think the whole point is that he lives:

Westley: "Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever."

I would combine two of the greatest movies of all time, first ruin them count of monte cristo style and then "to the pain" princess bride style.

I'm not sure on the details, but it would definutely involve cannibalism.

I would strap him to something, then BEAT HIM UP LIKE CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Throw things at him, punch and kick him, and I would keep at it long after he's dead! For killing my family, I would beat him mercilessly until I'M dead myself! And I would do every single way of homemade pain, on HIM! Which means a mix of death metal and the song Metalhead over and over again at 100% volume! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!:upyours: :eek: :sniper: :mp5:

Or I would make him eat 100 peppers. If he did not eat them all in a day, I would give him very high doses of marijuana, then lock him in a room with all kinds of comic books and junk food and make him read all the comic books and eat all the junk food. When he runs out of junk food, I would give him some more, but I wouldn't change the comic books. When he has ate enough junk food, and he is a big fat loser, I would then give him more very high doses of marijuana. Under the condition he find, date, an marry an extreme death metal loving prostitute. I would then forget all about the fat killer, and live in a foster family.:eek: :eek: :eek: :p

I'm not sure on the details, but it would definutely involve cannibalism.

Vengeance in the manner of "Scott Tenorman Must Die"?

"Made you eat your parents! Hahaha!"

Vengeance in the manner of "Scott Tenorman Must Die"?
Never seen it, but something along those lines, yeah. :p

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." is actually the proper quote.

In the strain of Princess Bride, I'd probably do a "to the pain" kind of revenge, completely disfiguring them. Eventually, tho, I'd probably stab them through the heart. But only after they'd suffered plenty. But I'm sick.

That's more the idea I was going for. But that's the sick human side of me that I prefer to not show!!! :rolleyes:

That's more the idea I was going for. But that's the sick human side of me that I prefer to not show!!! :rolleyes:

I figure there isnt much point in hiding it.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." is actually the proper quote.

Actually, the proper quote es "Hello, my name is Íñigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Actually, the proper quote es "Hello, my name is Íñigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

Well thats just nitpicky. Speaking of which... *thrusts scalp at Vetonia*

there is no honor in vengence, only in preventing the suffering caused by harm, and most of that is caused by indifference to the real consiquences of priorities. the idiots who set out to cause it intentionaly are less then ants and roaches by comparison.

and what i would do about that is what i am doing now. sharing words were all can see, and hopefully planting the occasional seed that may inspire someone to do their own thinking.

=^^=
.../\...

Id tie them up, tape their eyelids open make them watch only fox news and a Rosie O'donnell(solo) sex tape. If that doesnt kill them the flesh eating rats will...eventually