NationStates Jolt Archive

You've all seen those suggestion boxes at restaurants, etc. So, here is one for Nation States! Well, not necessarily. More or less for anything or anyone.

So I guess I'll start off.

Suggestion:
Tolerance is the key to freedom.

Or maybe something more like:
Fake boobs no more!

My server was very rude and slow this evening. I was seated at table 3, and I am very dissatisfied with her service. I would suggest firing her and reviewing proper customer service with the staff. Thank You.

I LIKE MILK! :gundge:

My server was very rude and slow this evening. I was seated at table 3, and I am very dissatisfied with her service. I would suggest firing her and reviewing proper customer service with the staff. Thank You.
Hey, I need this job. I was serving as fast as I could.

This is a suggestion I've been meaning to give to my SU shop, but it rarely affects me, so I'm not bothered enough to tell them:

Separate the vegetarian sandwiches from the non-vegetarian ones! You already separate halal and non-halal, so why not this?!

Get rid of handicapped parking spots; They shouldn't be driving anyway.

This is a suggestion I've been meaning to give to my SU shop, but it rarely affects me, so I'm not bothered enough to tell them:

Separate the vegetarian sandwiches from the non-vegetarian ones! You already separate halal and non-halal, so why not this?!
What's an SU shop? I suggest you tell me.

What's an SU shop? I suggest you tell me.
Students' Union.

US Women:

Please stop obsessing about plastic surgery and what everyone else looks like. I know that's not all of you, but dammit, I get so sick of walking down the halls of my university and overhearing these lamentations about having "thick ankles", whatever the fuck THAT is, and any number of infinitesimal flaws. Worse yet, this sometimes comes from women who have addressable problems, namely fat ones.

And that goes for both sexes: get off your asses and stop shoveling endless junk into your maws. Chew with your damned mouth SHUT, while I'm at it. I'm not svelte, but I can make it up several flights of stairs without needing a damned oxygen tank.

STOP paying good money for clothes that come "pre-stressed" -- STOP IT! Paying for a new pair of jeans that have holes in them already is just plain stupid. You wanna be different? Try thinking for yourself for a change.

Sorry for the rant. When you're a prof, you see and hear the effects of pop culture on a daily basis. Sometimes it wears thin.

*snip*
Or maybe something more like:
Fake boobs no more!
SECONDED.

SECONDED.
Boobs are not meant to be immobile.

Would the owner of a Blue Civic Honda, registration 1ER 3YT7 please come to reception and speak to the receptionist, or your vehicle will be towed.

Thank-you.

I suggest you all purify yourselves in the waters of lake Minnetonka.

Students' Union.*dons Cardiff University hoodie with.... very mild pride*


my suggestion for NS is... bring back TIN! forcibly if necessary.

Could anyone weighing 325 lb.s and wearing an X-small shirt from Victoria's Secret please go to hell? Thank you.

Also:

Gangstas: could you please stop disrupting my life experience?

Get rid of handicapped parking spots; They shouldn't be driving anyway.

handicapped parking spots don't drive

*dons Cardiff University hoodie with.... very mild pride*


my suggestion for NS is... bring back TIN! forcibly if necessary.
My Leicester Uni hoodie is still in Leicester. It has a curry stain on it from the first year, and I have no pride in wearing it at all. It's purely functional.

Heh. I'm applying to De Montfort Uni soon (used to be Leicester Poly), and I'm going to wear the Leicester hoodie to my lectures when (if) I get in.

handicapped parking spots don't drive
*ahem* The handicapped shouldn't be driving.:rolleyes:

*ahem* The handicapped shouldn't be driving.:rolleyes:

I'll assume that the eye-rolling is at my super-awesome joke, not your bigotry

*ahem* The handicapped shouldn't be driving.:rolleyes:
Damn straight. Blacks, old people, teenagers, and Asians shouldn't drive either. It's a proven fact that they're lousy drivers.

More Humor, Less Gloomer!

The Quick Thinker

A man in a Florida supermarket tried to buy half a head of lettuce.
The very young produce a*sistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce, but the man persisted and asked to see the manager, so the boy said he would ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some a*shole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the

boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Canada, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but skanks and hockey players up there."

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada."

"No sh*t?" replied the boy. "Who did she play for?"

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A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome
with her boyfriend. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded,

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's cowded and dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"


"We're taking Continental ," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their
planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late."

"Where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in
the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly, and they're overpriced."

"So, whatcha doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to se the Pope."


"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked
her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time
in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they
bumped us up to first cla*s. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a
handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel
was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's a
jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you
didn't get to see the Pope."


"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."


"Oh Really what did he say??"

He said, "Where'd you get the sh*tty hairdo??"

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Two old Jewish men are pushing their trollies around the supermarket when they collide.

The first guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The second old guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The first old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?

The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts.

What does your wife look like?"













Who cares, let's look for yours!


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more proof of global warming:
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b45/Norwinkie/globalwarming.jpg
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Why Computers Sometimes Crash! by Dr. Seuss.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash

If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall......
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.

When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instruction is causing unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM, and then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!!


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I'll assume that the eye-rolling is at my super-awesome joke, not your bigotry
It's not bigotry, not in the least. I have no problem with handicapped people. I was actually quite friendly with a classmate who has Downs Syndrome. I just don't think someone who can't walk should be driving. Call me crazy.

Damn straight. Blacks, old people, teenagers, and Asians shouldn't drive either. It's a proven fact that they're lousy drivers.
I threw a ketchup packet at an old driver doing 15 MPH on a busy street just today, actually.

It's not bigotry, not in the least. I have no problem with handicapped people. I was actually quite friendly with a classmate who has Downs Syndrome. I just don't think someone who can't walk should be driving. Call me crazy.

Well, you are crazy. Why shouldn't they be allowed to?

I threw a ketchup packet at an old driver doing 15 MPH on a busy street just today, actually.
I once threw a Taco Bell burrito (0pened up for maximum splatter) at an idiot driver while sitting at a red light. It stuck to his window and slowly slid down and fell off leaving a festively colored smear.

I threw a ketchup packet at an old driver doing 15 MPH on a busy street just today, actually.


Littering is bad, m'kay? Don't do it again.

I threw a ketchup packet at an old driver doing 15 MPH on a busy street just today, actually.

A whole ketchup packet? you rebel, you!
If you'd thrown like, one of your passengers, that'd be impressive.

Damn straight. Blacks, old people, teenagers, and Asians shouldn't drive either. It's a proven fact that they're lousy drivers.

dont forget women!

only white males from 20 - 50 should be allowed to drive