God and crap
People without names
12-04-2006, 09:56
today i felt terrible. it was a very rough day. things are happening in my life and i feel like i am no longer in control. and somepoint of the day i somehow thought to my self "god has taken a crap on me" then i started thinking. if god took a crap on you, is that a good or bad thing? does it mean he no longer cares for you and your are nothing more then an object that you crap on. or should you be blessed that god has chosen you to be crapped on by the almighty behind
The absurdity amuses us.
*claps*
I V Stalin
12-04-2006, 10:06
today i felt terrible. it was a very rough day. things are happening in my life and i feel like i am no longer in control. and somepoint of the day i somehow thought to my self "god has taken a crap on me" then i started thinking. if god took a crap on you, is that a good or bad thing? does it mean he no longer cares for you and your are nothing more then an object that you crap on. or should you be blessed that god has chosen you to be crapped on by the almighty behind
Woo! When I saw the thread title I hoped it would be about God shitting, and you didn't disappoint me. You've made my day. Now, on topic, I'll tell you a story...
A little sparrow is flying south for the winter, when freak winds separate him from the rest of his flock. Disoriented, he lands in a field, and is freezing to death when a cow shits on him. The shit warms him up and stops him from dying. He is so happy he starts singing. Suddenly, a sparrow-hawk, hearing the singing, swoops down, lifts him from the shit, and eats him.
The moral of the story? Not everyone that shits on you is an enemy, not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend, and when you're in shit, keep your mouth shut.
Mariehamn
12-04-2006, 10:11
The moral of the story? Not everyone that shits on you is an enemy, not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend, and when you're in shit, keep your mouth shut.
Depressed people, listen up! Keep your mouths shut!
Willamena
12-04-2006, 10:15
A little sparrow is flying south for the winter, when freak winds separate him from the rest of his flock. Disoriented, he lands in a field, and is freezing to death when a cow shits on him. The shit warms him up and stops him from dying. He is so happy he starts singing. Suddenly, a sparrow-hawk, hearing the singing, swoops down, lifts him from the shit, and eats him.
The moral of the story? Not everyone that shits on you is an enemy, not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend, and when you're in shit, keep your mouth shut.
The real moral of the story is that sparrow-hawks eat shit.
I V Stalin
12-04-2006, 10:19
The real moral of the story is that sparrow-hawks eat shit.
Goddammit! I always miss the point of stories!
Egg and chips
12-04-2006, 10:25
Woo! When I saw the thread title I hoped it would be about God shitting, and you didn't disappoint me. You've made my day. Now, on topic, I'll tell you a story...
A little sparrow is flying south for the winter, when freak winds separate him from the rest of his flock. Disoriented, he lands in a field, and is freezing to death when a cow shits on him. The shit warms him up and stops him from dying. He is so happy he starts singing. Suddenly, a sparrow-hawk, hearing the singing, swoops down, lifts him from the shit, and eats him.
The moral of the story? Not everyone that shits on you is an enemy, not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend, and when you're in shit, keep your mouth shut.
Shit jokes?
OK, A peacock looks at a really tall tree, and is sad that it can't rich the top. A bull sees this dilema, and says "Here, try nibbling on my droppings, they are full of energy and will help you get up there!" So the peacock nibbles the droppings, and manages to rach the second branch. The next day, he eats a bit more and reaches the third branch. After a week of this, he finally reaches the top. Suddenly, a farmer sees the bird up there and shoots him down for lunch.
Moral: Bullshit can get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.
I V Stalin
12-04-2006, 10:37
Shit jokes?
OK, A peacock looks at a really tall tree, and is sad that it can't rich the top. A bull sees this dilema, and says "Here, try nibbling on my droppings, they are full of energy and will help you get up there!" So the peacock nibbles the droppings, and manages to rach the second branch. The next day, he eats a bit more and reaches the third branch. After a week of this, he finally reaches the top. Suddenly, a farmer sees the bird up there and shoots him down for lunch.
Moral: Bullshit can get you to the top, but it wont keep you there.
At least mine was relevant to the OP. :rolleyes: :p
People without names
12-04-2006, 18:35
At least mine was relevant to the OP. :rolleyes: :p
it was a good story anyways
Santa Barbara
12-04-2006, 18:41
If God shits on you, that indicates His digestive system produces waste and is therefore inefficient to some degree. Therefore, He is not perfect. Therefore, He is not God. Therefore, Godshit has disproven the existence of God.
Here I thought someone would contemplate by now the size of God's penis. Made man in his image so how big is it? Someone should be asking that on here for my amusement. :p
Santa Barbara
12-04-2006, 18:52
Here I thought someone would contemplate by now the size of God's penis. Made man in his image so how big is it? Someone should be asking that on here for my amusement. :p
Good point.
"Dear God,
What's your dick size?
Thanks,
Santa Barbara"
People without names
12-04-2006, 19:06
Good point.
"Dear God,
What's your dick size?
Thanks,
Santa Barbara"
that is one thing he didnt copy exactly, he didnt want anyone to have a bigger penis then himself, although i think Hillary clinton is close