NationStates Jolt Archive

Twelve Angry Deities
By J.
Published April 8, 2006

Los Angeles 8 April- After months of deliberation, the jury for the trial of God VS State of California has been chosen. It all started in August of 2005 (God Arrested for Murder, Jesus Suspected As an Accomplice By Jim McElroy Published August 3, 2005 Los Angeles, Aug. 2)when one Mary Magdalene was found dead in God's Bel Air mansion. The Disassociated Press managed to get the names of the jury which includes the following:

Ahura Mazda
Amatsu Mikaboshi
Cernunos
Imhotep
Kishar
Pekko
Quetzalcoatl
Ra
Sun Wukong
Vishnu
Wóden
Zeus

God's attorney, Johnnie Cochran, had this to say," The jury must impartial, yet understanding of the situation. I believe that these deities.. I mean jurers will be able to make the right choices by raising their voices."

The trial is set to begin in July, 2006.


Copyright 2006, Disassociated Press

Vishnu


No way. As a Vaishnavist, I vehemently disagree.

Shiva (Rudra from Roudhra- meaning anger) is an angrier God in the Hindu pantheon. Of course Shaivites would disagree...;)

Wóden
Pfft. No Oden? Ukko? What kind of jury is this?

It's actually a play on a movie title.

Haha! Where'd you get that from, The Onion?

It's actually a play on a movie title.
It had better be a play on the title of the inferior 90's remake, because if you just dared to associate the original 60's version by trying to attach an outdated peice of political commentary to its name, I will beat you with a 3 foot dildo.

It had better be a play on the title of the inferior 90's remake, because if you just dared to associate the original 60's version by trying to attach an outdated peice of political commentary to its name, I will beat you with a 3 foot dildo.

And the downside would be? :D

And the downside would be? :D
That while I'm beating him with it, he won't be able to use it.

It had better be a play on the title of the inferior 90's remake, because if you just dared to associate the original 60's version by trying to attach an outdated peice of political commentary to its name, I will beat you with a 3 foot dildo.
WHAT?! WHO dares to make a remake?!!!!!?!?!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:

WHAT?! WHO dares to make a remake?!!!!!?!?!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:
It was made for TV, so not that many people were ever exposed to it, and, as far as remakes go, it was pretty well done.
But that isn't the point. Since it appears you were actually referencing the real one, I'm going to have to beat you now.
*grabs dildo*

zues wouldnt make a good juror. he could be bribed to change his vote with sex...

Sun Wukong


You do realize he's a monkey, right?

That while I'm beating him with it, he won't be able to use it.

And you just happen to own a three foot dildo? ;)

You do realize he's a monkey, right?
Yerp.

And you just happen to own a three foot dildo? ;)
Nah, I borrowed it from a Nun. OF COURSE ITS MY GODDAMN DILDO!
Why do I have it?
Money and alcohol do funny things when combined near sex shops.

Money and alcohol do funny things when combined near sex shops.
Are you suggesting that a chemical reaction between money and alcohol, when given energy from sex shops, produces three foot dildos? If yes, is the dildo purple?

Are you suggesting that a chemical reaction between money and alcohol, when given energy from sex shops, produces three foot dildos? If yes, is the dildo purple?
Bright pink, but you're estimation as to the chemical reaction is fairly close to mark. Sex shops, it has been said, possess the ability to distort the rules of chemistry and can defy the law of Equivalent Exchange.

You do realize he's a monkey, right?

Got something against monkeys? :p

Nah, I borrowed it from a Nun. OF COURSE ITS MY GODDAMN DILDO!
Why do I have it?
Money and alcohol do funny things when combined near sex shops.

My inflatable sheep concurs. :p

Note To Self: Don't Drink and Buy at Sex Shops

Note to self: Drink and buy at sex shops.

Note To Self: Don't Drink and Buy at Sex Shops

Note to self: Drink and buy at sex shops.

YAY! :D

Note to Self: Don't Drink and Buy Sex Shops.
No, really, there isn't a whole lot of growth in the market. Especially when the market happens to be selling brightly colored dildoes in between two baptist churches.

Note to self: Drink and buy at sex shops.

Make a list and stick to the list.

Note to Self: Don't Drink and Buy Sex Shops.
No, really, there isn't a whole lot of growth in the market. Especially when the market happens to be selling brightly colored dildoes in between two baptist churches.

Well now I'd think that the marketing slogans practically write themselves.

"When you want to hear someone else shout "Oh God! Oh God!"

Note to Self: Don't Drink and Buy Sex Shops.
No, really, there isn't a whole lot of growth in the market. Especially when the market happens to be selling brightly colored dildoes in between two baptist churches.

Baptists wanna be happy too! (And those that don't, wanna keep an eye onthose who do.)

Twelve Angry Deities
By J.
Published April 8, 2006

Los Angeles 8 April- After months of deliberation, the jury for the trial of God VS State of California has been chosen. It all started in August of 2005 (God Arrested for Murder, Jesus Suspected As an Accomplice By Jim McElroy Published August 3, 2005 Los Angeles, Aug. 2)when one Mary Magdalene was found dead in God's Bel Air mansion. The Disassociated Press managed to get the names of the jury which includes the following:

Ahura Mazda
Amatsu Mikaboshi
Cernunos
Imhotep
Kishar
Pekko
Quetzalcoatl
Ra
Sun Wukong
Vishnu
Wóden
Zeus

God's attorney, Johnnie Cochran, had this to say," The jury must impartial, yet understanding of the situation. I believe that these deities.. I mean jurers will be able to make the right choices by raising their voices."

The trial is set to begin in July, 2006.


Copyright 2006, Disassociated Press

The jury is unbalanced, it needs females - I suggest

Kali Ma
the Morrigan
Hecate
Amaterasu Omikami
Cerridwen
Lillith

as six appropriate female deities/jurors

You do realize he's a monkey, right?

That differs from your average juror how?

Eris not invited to an event yet again?!?

Prepare for an interesting trail.