NationStates Jolt Archive

How do you deal with loss? Or possible loss, meaning the insecurity about possibly, maybe losing someone or something....

How do you deal with loss? Or possible loss, meaning the insecurity about possibly, maybe losing someone or something....

I lost my Mum, and I found it very hard for quite some time, but time does make it easier, and you do 'forget' to be sad and then you find that you can remember good stuff without being sad...it takes time and I personally found that talking helped.

Loss is grief, it can be loss of a person, a home, a relationship, a job or anything...the reaction is the same, but in different degrees and it effects people differently.

I suppose that depends a great deal on how much the person/object meant to me. It's hard to define under these vague parameters.

I lost one of the cutters to my electric razor, now what ever shall i do?

I suppose that depends a great deal on how much the person/object meant to me. It's hard to define under these vague parameters.

Imagine, for argument's sake, the person/object meant the world to you...

Badly.

:fluffle:

What about the fact it will take longer to shave?

Imagine, for argument's sake, the person/object meant the world to you...

Ok, there's only one person that means the world to me, and if that happened, I'd probably off myself right after.

It takes me a long time and I usually spend a good deal of that time brooding (Batman ain't got nothing on me when it comes to brooding), with fits of going out and bashing trees and fences with staves or swords.

I also tend to write very, very dark works of fiction and (bad) poetry.

What about the fact it will take longer to shave?

You have my heartfelt sympathies. The fate of your beard moves me beyond words...

You have my heartfelt sympathies. The fate of your beard moves me beyond words...
There is a hole in my Backpack and it appears it managed to fall out.:(


I haven't had to deal with this unfamiliar term of 'loss' in relation to losing someone.
Assuming someone is someone important or can make a good Grilled Sandwich.

I have yet to lose something and actually react to it (in any tangible, conscious way), except for one thing, my sanity. I reacted by going insane, and here we are today....

There is a hole in my Backpack and it appears it managed to fall out.:(


I haven't had to deal with this unfamiliar term of 'loss' in relation to losing someone.
Assuming someone is someone important or can make a good Grilled Sandwich.

Why do you carry your electric razor around in your backpack? :confused:

Cried a lot, and then some more until some years went by and the hurt, hurt a little less. More crying , and more time.

Brush it off. Some people say I'm cold but if I loose someone I care about I'll cry for a few days then get on with my life. Becuase I know all of my loved ones wouldn't want me suffering at the loss of them. They would want me to be happy and have a fullfilling life. It still hurts when I look back at the time of the actual loss but I'm happy when I think of them.

Its hard to say how I would react right now- the losses I've dealt with in the past, depending on the circumstances, have involved anger & rage, tremendous grief, then depression.
Never a thought of suicide. There is no self destruct fiber in my being.
I hope to not have any fresh examples any time soon.

How do you deal with loss? Or possible loss, meaning the insecurity about possibly, maybe losing someone or something....
Losing someone is inevitable, hon, unless you're some sort of hermit. The best way to "prepare" yourself for this eventuality is to spend as much time as possible with those you love, so that when they move or pass on, you have no regrets and have lots and lots of good memories to recall. :fluffle:

Losing someone is inevitable, hon, unless you're some sort of hermit. The best way to "prepare" yourself for this eventuality is to spend as much time as possible with those you love, so that when they move or pass on, you have no regrets and have lots and lots of good memories to recall. :fluffle:
...Or to avoid them as much as possible so that you won't have anything to regret in the first place. Your choice really. I prefer not to live in the past, myself, but then I'm not a grandparent.....

i wallow in grief and sorrow until the day comes when i feel like doing something else. and then still have bouts of wallowing in grief and sorrow that become less frequent over time.

i assume you arent talking about death. i think it helps to accept that it IS over and mourn your loss rather than live in the false hope that it can work out. thats the only way you CAN get past it. if you cling to false hope, you will suffer the loss over and over again.

I think living with agriculture has helped me deal with loss. I have been around birth, life, and death all my life. The circle of life is very natural to me.

Maybe if someone young, like my children died I would feel differently. But when the old people in my life have died, it just seemed another step. Don't remember sheading a tear for my grandparents or my father.

The worst thing in death is the funeral. Why we have funerals is beyond me. They are a total torture of the living. I hear people talking about "closure". Don't have a clue what that means. When my grandmothers died I volunteered to take care of the little children. Far better than attending my grandfathers or father's funerals. I have standing orders with everyone I know, that if they have a funeral for me, I will come back and make their lives miserable forever. Since that's what a funeral does anyway. They are to dispose of my body as quickly and cheaply as possible. Don't care if they throw it in a ditch somewhere, like I do with the dead animals on the farm.

Its hard to say how I would react right now- the losses I've dealt with in the past, depending on the circumstances, have involved anger & rage, tremendous grief, then depression.
Never a thought of suicide. There is no self destruct fiber in my being.
I hope to not have any fresh examples any time soon.

I tend to be pretty self destructive... I figure I'd better hurt myself rather than anyone else.
It's not that bad yet, but I know it's imminent, and I've no idea yet how to deal with knowing I wasted 3 years, and all my heart.

Depends on the situation, I can either be angry or very sad, it just depends on the situation.

Losing someone is inevitable, hon, unless you're some sort of hermit. The best way to "prepare" yourself for this eventuality is to spend as much time as possible with those you love, so that when they move or pass on, you have no regrets and have lots and lots of good memories to recall. :fluffle:

You know, that's the funny thing about it... I never ever regretted anything in my life before. I hated much about it, but there was no feeling of regret, as most of what I hated wasn't really my fault anyway. This is pretty much the first time I have to tell myself : You should have known better.

How do you deal with loss? Or possible loss, meaning the insecurity about possibly, maybe losing someone or something....

It depends on what you are losing. I react partly, by writing poetry, and that really helps, for me.

Mostly, it's a matter of just learning to live with a hole in your whole.

It depends on what you are losing. I react partly, by writing poetry, and that really helps, for me.

Mostly, it's a matter of just learning to live with a hole in your whole.

A hole in my whole... yes, that's pretty much how it would be. An immense hole.
I'm a bit spoiled in that respect, I guess. You'd expect a woman my age to have gone through similar situations before and to have found ways of dealing with them. But, so far, I never had to. And it's not easy to learn that lesson.

A hole in my whole... yes, that's pretty much how it would be. An immense hole.
I'm a bit spoiled in that respect, I guess. You'd expect a woman my age to have gone through similar situations before and to have found ways of dealing with them. But, so far, I never had to. And it's not easy to learn that lesson.

I lost my dad, in my early 20's. It just isn't something you can 'practise'... and it's different for every person (feeling) and every person you 'lose'... no matter how you 'lose' them.

Example - I shed no tears over my father's death - but I wept uncontrollably when my ex left me.

But, both of them have the same symptoms... a feeling like you are somewhat unravelled... like the 'weave' of your life WAS anchored on certain hooks, and now some of those hooks have been moved, or removed.

Maybe you feel betrayed by that 'changing the shape of reality'... maybe you feel angry. Sometimes, you might feel hurt, like it was a personal attack. Maybe you rage on a grander scale... like "Why did this happen'?

But, as Eutrusca said earlier... losing someone or something IS inevitable, sooner or later. And, happy or sad, these things ARE part of the tapestry of our existences. "The Wheel weaves, as The Wheel wills"

I lost my dad, in my early 20's. It just isn't something you can 'practise'... and it's different for every person (feeling) and every person you 'lose'... no matter how you 'lose' them.

Example - I shed no tears over my father's death - but I wept uncontrollably when my ex left me.

But, both of them have the same symptoms... a feeling like you are somewhat unravelled... like the 'weave' of your life WAS anchored on certain hooks, and now some of those hooks have been moved, or removed.

Maybe you feel betrayed by that 'changing the shape of reality'... maybe you feel angry. Sometimes, you might feel hurt, like it was a personal attack. Maybe you rage on a grander scale... like "Why did this happen'?

But, as Eutrusca said earlier... losing someone or something IS inevitable, sooner or later. And, happy or sad, these things ARE part of the tapestry of our existences. "The Wheel weaves, as The Wheel wills"

Thank you... reading that somehow calmed me down a lot. I'll carry that scar, I'll keep it as reminder not to make the same mistake again. :)

How do you deal with loss? Or possible loss, meaning the insecurity about possibly, maybe losing someone or something....
I go to Wal-Mart, and shop away my troubles, buying shit that I don't need.

Depends on who/what is lost, and the manner wherein it was lost.

My dad, I "lost" when he "disowned" me because I said I was moving out of his house and marrying a guy he doesn't like. I took that loss by walking out with the sun in my hair, and the wind at my back, feeling like I had lost my dad, and gained the world. I know I was right. I don't even miss him. When I walked away, I didn't look back.

My grandpa died two years ago. I took that loss without bothering to cry. He had had cancer for about fifteen years, and was at the end in a lot of pain, and ready to go. Sometimes, you just have to let go.

My grandma is probably dying currently. She's 97 and had pnemonia. She may live, she may die. Either way, she's not going to be around much longer anyway. I mean, she's 97. When she dies, I'll cry, and be sad, becuase I'll miss her. I've been really close to my grandma, and lived with her for a while. But it'll be her time, and she's had a good life.

The hard answer is how I would deal with, say, my child dying. That, y'know, I don't really know. Honestly, I don't want to have to know. I hope that I'd cry, and be willing to give her up, too.

In all cases, I think the fact that I am a Christian makes it easier, becasue I know I can trust God to do whatever is right. And I'm ok with that. Call it a cop-out if you like, but it really isn't... it's quite liberating not to have to be God yourself.

I get very sad, and usually withdraw a bit from my friends. I cry if I need to, I write in my journal, and I exercise insanely much.

I have a hard time moving past big losses in my life. But (cliche as it may sound) life goes on, and eventually the pain goes away. The worst part of it for me is that I usually feel a little bit guilty for moving on with my life, but that goes away too. After enough time passes, I don't remember the loss, I remember the good times before it happened.

I tend to be pretty self destructive... I figure I'd better hurt myself rather than anyone else.
It's not that bad yet, but I know it's imminent, and I've no idea yet how to deal with knowing I wasted 3 years, and all my heart.
you didnt waste it.

love is never a waste; it just hurts terribly when its over.

you werent deceived, even by yourself. you knew it wasnt forever and it wasnt. you grew more attached than you intended to be but thats just the way love works.

you will come to appreciate what you had. you will be proud of yourself for conducting yourself with dignity. you will remember the good times and hold a fondness for him in your heart.

until then, try to be gentle with yourself and stop yourself from self destructive behavior. maybe find more things that you MUST get done so you are forced to do something other than brood.

good luck with it.

you didnt waste it.

love is never a waste; it just hurts terribly when its over.

you werent deceived, even by yourself. you knew it wasnt forever and it wasnt. you grew more attached than you intended to be but thats just the way love works.

you will come to appreciate what you had. you will be proud of yourself for conducting yourself with dignity. you will remember the good times and hold a fondness for him in your heart.

until then, try to be gentle with yourself and stop yourself from self destructive behavior. maybe find more things that you MUST get done so you are forced to do something other than brood.

good luck with it.

One thing which I know I will not be able to do is keep him in fond memory. That's one of the reasons I don't want things to end... it would destroy everything. I would. I know myself :(

Other than that, I'll just wait and see. Whatever will happen I will deal with once it does happen.

Depending on what is lost, complete indifference to slight irritation. I take things in stride, no matter how great the loss may outwardly seem.

You know, that's the funny thing about it... I never ever regretted anything in my life before. I hated much about it, but there was no feeling of regret, as most of what I hated wasn't really my fault anyway. This is pretty much the first time I have to tell myself : You should have known better.
Next time, you will. :fluffle:

A hole in my whole... yes, that's pretty much how it would be. An immense hole.
I'm a bit spoiled in that respect, I guess. You'd expect a woman my age to have gone through similar situations before and to have found ways of dealing with them. But, so far, I never had to. And it's not easy to learn that lesson.
We learn to walk by falling down. Rare is the experience from which we can learn nothing. :fluffle: