NationStates Jolt Archive

OK, in this little exercise in creativity the idea is to take a perfectly good movie title and "pervert" it, tell what the new movie is about and who it stars. Here are a few examples to get things rolling.

The Chronicles of Blarney: The Liar, The Bitch and the Whoredog
The story of one woman's mad grab for power in the high stakes world of Washington politics. Starring George Bush, Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton

The Rare Snitch Project
How the FBI got the most powerful lobbyist in Washington to turn on his handlers. Starring Jack Abramoff

The Pod Father
The high stakes world of silicon valley is explored in the race to create the next, new, "must have" technology. Starring Steve Jobs

Smoke Crack Mountain
A hilarious look at the inner city street gang life of a gansta wannabe. Starring Richard Pryor

Fairy High 9/11
A moving documentary about 2 lesbians trapped on the roof of the south tower. Starring Ann Hesch and Ellen DeGeneris with a special appearance by Rosy O'Donald.

Do you mean other than "Shaving Ryan's Privates" and the like?

Do you mean other than "Shaving Ryan's Privates" and the like?

That's a good one, what's it about and who does it star? :)

Star Whores Episode IV: A New Hoe
Star Whores Episode V: The Pimp Strikes Back
Star Whores Episode VI: Return of the Prostitute

Star Whores Episode I: The Burning Menace
Star Whores Episode II: Attack of the Bones
Star Whores Episode III: Revenge of the Bitch

...Yeah.

*runs*

"Auchterarder on a Fortnight (http://www.escanabathemovie.com/)" - A British film that concerns shaking up the traditions of the foxhunt. Starring somewhat noteable locals, the hunt goes completely as planned, while at the same time being completely hilarious to anyone is in anyway British. English subtitles.

I think a movie about pirates but that also has ninjas in it.
What could be cooler than that?




Except maybe if they set in space and had a couple of T-Rexes on board.

I think a movie about pirates but that also has ninjas in it.
What could be cooler than that?




Except maybe if they set in space and had a couple of T-Rexes on board.

What could be cooler? I'll tell you.

Snakes on a fucking plane.

I just thought of a good idea for a horror movie. 5 or 6 people get trapped on an elevator with no food or water. They don't know how long they'll be trapped for. Then someone farts.

What could be cooler? I'll tell you.

Snakes on a fucking plane.
Could be cooler? Could be fucking cooler? That's a damn absolute, Pot.

.....I had more faith in you.

Simonist']Could be cooler? Could be fucking cooler? That's a damn absolute, Pot.

.....I had more faith in you.

I was only speaking in context! I know it's an absolute, but still!

*defends*

What could be cooler? I'll tell you.

Snakes on a fucking plane.
Only if they're funky snakes. And I mean funkkkkeeeee...

Star Whores Episode IV: A New Hoe
Star Whores Episode V: The Pimp Strikes Back
Star Whores Episode VI: Return of the Prostitute

Star Whores Episode I: The Burning Menace
Star Whores Episode II: Attack of the Bones
Star Whores Episode III: Revenge of the Bitch

...Yeah.

*runs*

Wait, before you run off, who is in them?

Wait, before you run off, who is in them?

The films need to have a "raw" feeling, so no big-name actors would be in them.

The Bush Administration satirised as a mob movie...

[ Evening twilight, rain, thunder and lightning ]

[ Dick Cheney stands in the gloom wearing a black raincoat and holding a sawn-off pump-action shotgun, rain and tears pouring down his face ]

[ A man lies wounded on the ground in front, weeping ]

Cheney: "Why did you tell him?! WHY?!"

Wounded man: "Dick, please, it's not too late - "

Cheney: "HE DIDN'T HAVE TO KNOW! *sobs* (crying) GEORGE DIDN'T HAVE TO KNOW!!!"

*BOOM*

[ Cut to man's head exploding ]

[ Close-up of Cheney with a look of intense anguish ]

*pump-pump BOOM!*

Cheney (quietly): "He didn't have to know."


You know you'd go and see it. :D

Star Wars Episode VII: We're bored, so....
(Insert sequalless classic Disney movie) II: We Like Your Money
Modern Gaschambers. It's a movie about elevators and the people who fart in them.
A Fridge Too Far
The Day the Ice Cream Truck Stood Still
Pokemon V: People still Watch These Movies?
Terrific Park

funny suggestions:
Shaving Ryan's Privates
Star Whores
Fairy High 9/11

Shaving Ryan's Privates
Oh, this one's already been done.

You know you'd go and see it.
Quite, but I need to know why Cheney is shooting people in the face.

Oh, right... :p

The Bush Administration satirised as a mob movie...

[ Evening twilight, rain, thunder and lightning ]

[ Dick Cheney stands in the gloom wearing a black raincoat and holding a sawn-off pump-action shotgun, rain and tears pouring down his face ]

[ A man lies wounded on the ground in front, weeping ]

Cheney: "Why did you tell him?! WHY?!"

Wounded man: "Dick, please, it's not too late - "

Cheney: "HE DIDN'T HAVE TO KNOW! *sobs* (crying) GEORGE DIDN'T HAVE TO KNOW!!!"

*BOOM*

[ Cut to man's head exploding ]

[ Close-up of Cheney with a look of intense anguish ]

*pump-pump BOOM!*

Cheney (quietly): "He didn't have to know."


You know you'd go and see it. :D

I like it, we could call it "On the Hunter Front" or "The Maltese Pheasant"

The day after yo' mamma.

We need a Johnny Bravo movie staring The Rock.. that would be so cool..

We need a Johnny Bravo movie staring The Rock.. that would be so cool..
We need a Johnny Bravo movie full stop .(poor Full Stop he doesn't know if he's neccesary(I'm feeling random today)) Actually we just need a Johnny Bravo IRL.

We need a Johnny Bravo movie full stop .(poor Full Stop he doesn't know if he's neccesary(I'm feeling random today)) Actually we just need a Johnny Bravo IRL.
Who'd you have playing Johnny Bravo?

Well we could all love the "Blair Bitch Project." ;)

http://www.blairbitch.com/home.html

An anime version of Riverdance

*nods
*wanders of to get some more of that interesting tea...

Edit : Oh, and Titanic II - The Return of the Iceberg. With Leonardo Di Caprio as the frozen Zombie. Endless possibilities for special effects...

How about "Dawn of the Head"?
A erection-causing virus gets to pandemic proportions, and a group of solitary nerds tries to escape priapism-zombies in a home-made armoured van.

You heard it here first.

Who'd you have playing Johnny Bravo?
hmmm, I'm not sure, The Rock only kind of looks like him from the side but I can't think of anyone else.

Have any of you seen the "Jerry Springer" Opera?

(OK, quote from the Simpsons(I think))

Star Trek 12: So Very Tired

Actors: TOS cast.

Cracked me up when I heard it! I watch way too much Simpsons!

hmmm, I'm not sure, The Rock only kind of looks like him from the side but I can't think of anyone else.
Yeah.. He has the charisma though.. we'll see when it comes out if he did a good job.

Didn't Richard Pryor die?

I think the time is ripe for a 'Jarheads II'. What's funny about this, I pretend to hear you ask? It's 'Jarheads II' starring well known generalite Eutrusca, and his trout of doom :D

I think the time is ripe for a 'Jarheads II'. What's funny about this, I pretend to hear you ask? It's 'Jarheads II' starring well known generalite Eutrusca, and his trout of doom :D
What's with the Arial font usage??

Didn't Richard Pryor die?

Sadly - he died not too long ago...

What's with the Arial font usage??
It makes me look different. Also, it's still novel to me, I'll get bored sooner or later.

Ok, but why arial why not an interesting font?



Yeah.. He has the charisma though.. we'll see when it comes out if he did a good job. What month does it come out?

What about Impact?

Ok, but why arial why not an interesting font?



What month does it come out?I used to use Times New Roman, But Arial is at the top of the list.

I think the time is ripe for a 'Jarheads II'. What's funny about this, I pretend to hear you ask? It's 'Jarheads II' starring well known generalite Eutrusca, and his trout of doom :D

Much better then "The Ring 3". *shudders*

I've been juggling this idea in my head for some time now, but I think it make a much better Latin hip-hop video or possibly a band:

"Los Padres de las Faldas" - A group of old-time Mexican gang members attempt making thier drag queen fantasies come true only to realize that old habits die hard.

Pretty much the whole concept is to have a bunch of hairy Latin guys poorly dress up as women and blow things up. Could even throw a dash of gay lovin' in so it could look as if it actually has a message.

I've been juggling this idea in my head for some time now, but I think it make a much better Latin hip-hop video or possibly a band:

"Los Padres de las Faldas" - A group of old-time Mexican gang members attempt making thier drag queen fantasies come true only to realize that old habits die hard.

Pretty much the whole concept is to have a bunch of hairy Latin guys poorly dress up as women and blow things up. Could even throw a dash of gay lovin' in so it could look as if it actually has a message.

Will the soundtrack contain ABBA songs?

What about Impact?
IMPACT! only looks good when it's made bigger.


I used to use Times New Roman, But Arial is at the top of the list.times is still kind of boring too, though.

Harry Twater!

the compelling story of a boy that 'cums under the spell' of an enchanting sorceress!

Will the soundtrack contain ABBA songs?
Naturally.

Harry Twater!
http://eetu73600.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/.pond/normal_harry20potter201.jpg.w300h299.jpg

Naturally.

In that case, I think we definitely need that movie. :D

In that case, I think we definitely need that movie.
I was going to sleep, but now I've found an excuse to listen to ABBA.

I was going to sleep, but now I've found an excuse to listen to ABBA.

While trying on women's lingerie in front of the mirror? :D ;)

How about the musical "Cats", just as a movie? The twist is that the actors are actually trained cats with voiceovers by Tom Hanks and Alec Balwin (just for the novelty of it).

A gangsta musical. I have the first song: "A spoonful of sugar makes another bite the dust, another one bite the dust..."
I really feel like Queen today:)

A gangsta musical. I have the first song: "A spoonful of sugar makes another bite the dust, another one bite the dust..."
I really feel like Queen today:)

Especially if you're diabetic

Especially if you're diabetic

*eats chocolate*
*keels over*
*gangstas come out and lean back, lean back, lean back, lean back...*

While trying on women's lingerie in front of the mirror?
No, not in front of the mirror. ;)
I really feel like Queen today
I have ABBA right now, its quite alright, don't go and try to influence me like that.

*eats chocolate*
*keels over*
*gangstas come out and lean back, lean back, lean back, lean back...*

*Plays brown noise to make the gangstas soil themselves* Not so cool now, eh?:D

EDIT: 250th post!