NationStates Jolt Archive

Well my dad is obese...like 380 lbs... I am worried about him. He is only 37 and 'twould be a shame for him to die so early. I want to help him out somehow...Any ideas?

Jenny Craig.

Holy shit! Your dad is only two years older than me and he already has a son/daughter... erm... how old are you?

Convince him that he would hurt you (and any other family members) if he died to his habits.

Holy shit! Your dad is only two years older than me and he already has a son/daughter... erm... how old are you?


almost 19.. he and my mother started young..right outta high school

there really isnt anything you can do. its not your job to run your dad's life. his health is beyond your control

that said

i think you should write your dad a letter telling him how very much he means to you and how devastated you would be to lose him. make it more about how much you love him than trying to talk him into doing something he already knows he should do

it probably wont work but its something you will never regret having done.

Well my dad is obese...like 380 lbs... I am worried about him. He is only 37 and 'twould be a shame for him to die so early. I want to help him out somehow...Any ideas?

Shit.

You're going to get a lot of fuck-all answers and some chiding. I hope you're prepared.

My dad died when I was 16 from something completely preventable. I even remember asking him to change his lifestyle when I was 14 because I didn't want to lose him.

Your dad's obesity comes from something you probably don't understand. Whether he's depressed or whatever, he's hiding something he probably should hide from his kids because we don't discuss our medical issues with our children.

There's nothing you can tell him. However, if I had the chance to speak to him, father to father, I'd simply say to him how much I wished for him to experience his grandchildren, their accomplishments, and how much better life can be with family.

I am saddened and I hope for you and your father the best. As vice-president of the East Texas chapter of the Dead Dad's Club, please keep me informed.

there really isnt anything you can do. its not your job to run your dad's life. his health is beyond your control

that said

i think you should write your dad a letter telling him how very much he means to you and how devastated you would be to lose him. make it more about how much you love him than trying to talk him into doing something he already knows he should do

it probably wont work but its something you will never regret having done.


Yeah..that sounds like a rather good idea...thanks!

That's a hard one.

My suggestion, for what it's worth is: Tell your father you love him then tell him what you've told us. Then hope for the best, but expect nothing.

Shit.

You're going to get a lot of fuck-all answers and some chiding. I hope you're prepared.

My dad died when I was 16 from something completely preventable. I even remember asking him to change his lifestyle when I was 14 because I didn't want to lose him.

Your dad's obesity comes from something you probably don't understand. Whether he's depressed or whatever, he's hiding something he probably should hide from his kids because we don't discuss our medical issues with our children.

There's nothing you can tell him. However, if I had the chance to speak to him, father to father, I'd simply say to him how much I wished for him to experience his grandchildren, their accomplishments, and how much better life can be with family.

I am saddened and I hope for you and your father the best. As vice-president of the East Texas chapter of the Dead Dad's Club, please keep me informed.


Yeah, I'll keep you informed. But I disagree with what you say. I mean I have to do something to stop him from dying. Heck I'd sell my soul, everything i have jus to know that he would live another day. Thats for both of my parents really.. But yeah..I just gotta find something to do. If he dies...i won't know what to do.:(

Yeah, I'll keep you informed.

Please do.

But I disagree with what you say.

Then you're in good company. :D

Heck I'd sell my soul, everything i have jus to know that he would live another day. Thats for both of my parents really.. But yeah..I just gotta find something to do. If he dies...i won't know what to do.:(

Crap.

You sound just like me when I was 14/15 and begging my dad not to die.

Fuck ... gotta cry now ... 'scuse me ...

He will help himself if he wants to. If he doesn't, then he won't. You will be angry because he chose to leave you, just as my dad chose to leave me. I'm not too sure that anger ever goes away.

However, I hope your dad will make the right choice. I hope he'll buy a treadmill and start walking on it a little every day. I hope he'll put down the cake and pick up an apple. If he does, love him more, because he's doing it for you.

Well my dad is obese...like 380 lbs... I am worried about him. He is only 37 and 'twould be a shame for him to die so early. I want to help him out somehow...Any ideas?

There is not a whole lot you can do. Adults have to make their own decisions in life and rarely like being told how to live. My mom smoked for over 40 years. She knew it was bad for her and that she should quit. But she wouldn't. So I could either nag her about it and have her withdraw from me, or I could keep my mouth shut and enjoy the time we had together. I chose the latter. Fortunatly, she came down with a severe case of pnumonia and was in the hospital for 6 weeks. That was almost 3 years ago and she hasn't smoked since. Your dad may not change his habits until he gets a major medical scare.

One thing you could try is to tell him you want to have some special father/son time together every week. Say that you want to go out to the park with him a couple of times a week to walk, talk, and get to know each other better. It's not a perfect solution, but atleast it would get him out and exercising some.

.

-snip-.


thank you for being so kind, and also for sharing your story. I know it must be difficult to deal with still yet at times. but by sharing your experience with me, you have actually calmed me some how...Thank you times a million..I think you deserve a fluffle

:fluffle:

There is not a whole lot you can do. Adults have to make their own decisions in life and rarely like being told how to live. My mom smoked for over 40 years. She knew it was bad for her and that she should quit. But she wouldn't. So I could either nag her about it and have her withdraw from me, or I could keep my mouth shut and enjoy the time we had together. I chose the latter. Fortunatly, she came down with a severe case of pnumonia and was in the hospital for 6 weeks. That was almost 3 years ago and she hasn't smoked since. Your dad may not change his habits until he gets a major medical scare.

One thing you could try is to tell him you want to have some special father/son time together every week. Say that you want to go out to the park with him a couple of times a week to walk, talk, and get to know each other better. It's not a perfect solution, but atleast it would get him out and exercising some.

.

Yeah I would spend more time with him if I could. I am in college..5 hours away...so i don't go home too often...:(

thank you for being so kind, and also for sharing your story. I know it must be difficult to deal with still yet at times. but by sharing your experience with me, you have actually calmed me some how...Thank you times a million..I think you deserve a fluffle

:fluffle:

I cannot help but do so. I know what it's like.

Your dad is alive and I hope he stays that way for years and years to come. I hope you never know the pain of losing the man who taught you to play guitar and then becoming an accomplished guitarist and wishing he could see you play.

Thank you for the fluffle. :) I love being fluffled.

Do you have a job? I forget while typing this how old you are or what your faculties are. Can you help him buy a treadmill and can you walk on it with him every day?

Maybe if his son was doing stuff with him, it would help him. I dunno.

I cannot help but do so. I know what it's like.

Your dad is alive and I hope he stays that way for years and years to come. I hope you never know the pain of losing the man who taught you to play guitar and then becoming an accomplished guitarist and wishing he could see you play.

Thank you for the fluffle. :) I love being fluffled.

Do you have a job? I forget while typing this how old you are or what your faculties are. Can you help him buy a treadmill and can you walk on it with him every day?

Maybe if his son was doing stuff with him, it would help him. I dunno.

Ah I am 19..only a measly college student..If i had the money, i'd give it all up to see him in better shape. Like i said previously, i can't spend too much time with him... damn college...ruining my life..hah But yeah..i was just talking to him about 20- 30 mins ago on the phone..and he was all out of breath, and he was complaing about his knees... and i just wanted to cry knowing he was in such pain and self-destruction.

Yeah I would spend more time with him if I could. I am in college..5 hours away...so i don't go home too often...:(

Maybe you could talk to your mom or a sibling about this and have them spend quality time with him at the park? Just a thought.

Well i am off to go pray more and prolly cry..thanks guys

Ah I am 19..only a measly college student..If i had the money, i'd give it all up to see him in better shape. Like i said previously, i can't spend too much time with him... damn college...ruining my life..hah But yeah..i was just talking to him about 20- 30 mins ago on the phone..and he was all out of breath, and he was complaing about his knees... and i just wanted to cry knowing he was in such pain and self-destruction.

Listen ....

You have to live for you, but this is your dad. I didn't complete college until I was 28 (for the Bach.) and am still doing my thing at 33 for more degrees. You're very young.

Maybe you should devote a little time to your father.

Just a suggestion, mate. Life is short, play hard.

I see a lot of guys start putting the weight on as soon as they get married. Maybe it’s the cooking and maybe it’s not caring so much about their looks once they settle down. I don’t know but I do notice it happen to a lot of people (sometimes even before guys settle down). Without physical challenge and focus guys lose their edge and go soft. It’s just what happens.

A sneaky way for you to get your dad into shape would be to ask him to train with you, for that good old male bonding thing, and concentrate on the abdominal exercises. Not too nutty though or you might finish him off. Just tell him that it would really make it easier to have a training partner.

The Bruce

A sneaky way for you to get your dad into shape would be to ask him to train with you, for that good old male bonding thing

Actually, that's a damn fine suggestion. However, at his age, be careful. Once a man hits 35, he needs to start consulting a doctor before he begins an excercise regime.

There was one guy I was in battle school with who weighed 240lbs. I found out that he originally weighed 500lbs but through a lot of hard work got his weight under control. He was still like fireman carrying a Volkswagen, but I admired how he took control of his life like that. The training must have been hell for him, with all that extra weight to carry around.