NationStates Jolt Archive

Let me be the first, (suck it O'Reilly), to acknowledge the fact that there is a WAR on Easter.

Let this Amazon review speak for itself:
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Now They've Taken the "Easter" Out of the Title; PC Runs Amuck!, March 17, 2006
Reviewer: Paul (New Orleans) - See all my reviews
Well, the folks who brought you "Dora's Easter Basket," a book which, despite the title, doesn't contain the word "Easter" in the body of the book, have proven that there is no depth to how low they can sink in their efforts to avoid using the word "Easter."

The result is "Dora's Rainbow Egg Hunt," yet another blow for Political Correctness. While Dora might go on a "rainbow" egg hunt, all other children go on Easter egg hunts. Not only is the word "Easter" not in the title, it is not in the book.

Is there educational value to this book? Yes, there is value, aside from learning that the responsible parties are PC fiends of unparalled degree, who, one can only conclude, are rabidly anti-Christian. (It is worth realizing that an atheist can be as much a religious zealot as anyone else.)

But this book should be a pass for any parent who cares about honesty and integrity for their child, as it is manifestly dishonest to obliterate any reference to the holiday for which this book is being marketed.

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http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/141690798X/103-5093202-5203809?v=glance&n=283155

And notice this carton of eggs http://www.oldstuffnews.com/images/am00-39-eggs-carton.jpg - ABSOLUTELY NO MENTION OF JESUS' ASCENSION INTO HEAVEN.

There's a war on. Next time someone tells you to have a Merry Spring Holiday, if you don't respond, "Happy Fucking Easter", well... you're not very American, are you?

What does hunting for Easter eggs have to do with Jesus' ascent into Heaven?

What does hunting for Easter eggs have to do with Jesus' ascent into Heaven?

OMFG! They're taking the crypto-paganist rituals out of a Christian festival!!!!!! The bastards!

What does hunting for Easter eggs have to do with Jesus' ascent into Heaven?
Have you read the bible?

who cares?

What does hunting for Easter eggs have to do with Jesus' ascent into Heaven?
Jesus hid eggs for his remaining followers in places like Greece, Rome, Nicea, and Thessalonia to encourage his disciples to go to those places and start churches.

Have you read the bible?

Are you suggesting that the real eggs are actually hidden in the Garden of Gethsemane?

Have you read the bible?

I have. I must've missed the part about the giant fucking rabbit.

Are you suggesting that the real eggs are actually hidden in the Garden of Gethsemane?
...ummmm.....
Sure?

Jesus hid eggs for his remaining followers in places like Greece, Rome, Nicea, and Thessalonia to encourage his disciples to go to those places and start churches.

And he laid those eggs himself. After all, being virgin born/a product of parthenogenesis he had an entirely female set of chromosomes. FACT!

And he laid those eggs himself. After all, being virgin born he had an entirely female set of chromosomes. FACT!
And they came out all different pastel colors with decals of bunnies on them.

Damn you, Easter!

*shakes fist*

Oh crap ... that reminds me ... I have to start cleaning for Pesach soon.

And he laid those eggs himself. After all, being virgin born/a product of parthenogenesis he had an entirely female set of chromosomes. FACT!
He was still 'Da Man' though!

War on Easter????

I shall defend my yummy chocolate eggs to the last!!!

War on Easter????

I shall defend my yummy chocolate eggs to the last!!!

Don't worry, we are ready and willing to pry them out of your cold, dead hands.

War on Easter????

I shall defend my yummy chocolate eggs to the last!!!
Don't you mean Chocolate Jesus Eggs?

Now it's time for another good idea bad idea

Good idea: finding easter eggs on easter


Bad idea: finding easter eggs at Christmas
...

Don't you mean Chocolate Jesus Eggs?
Yeah! Damn Secular-Humanist liberal pinkos are always trying to take Jesus out of everything.

Yeah! Damn Secular-Humanist liberal pinkos are always trying to take Jesus out of everything.
Creamy Jesus Filling...........

I have. I must've missed the part about the giant fucking rabbit.
It's in the gospel of the easter bunny.

And he laid those eggs himself. After all, being virgin born/a product of parthenogenesis he had an entirely female set of chromosomes. FACT!Ah, that explains it. Now explain the baskets and the annoying Easter grass that gets everywhere. Is it supposed to represent his uterus and pubes?

Creamy Jesus Filling...........
Maybe the secular-humanists have a point. Maybe Jesus shouldn't be in everything.

I have. I must've missed the part about the giant fucking rabbit.
No, no, no, now you're all confused. You're thinking about Donnie Darko. Let me spell it out for you: this (http://www.naccape.org.za/nac_catalogue/images/(2006)Holy%20Bible%20w%20Apocrypha_JPG.jpg) is the bible. This (http://www.giornalisti.it/binarioloco/archives/Donnie_Darko_Bottom.jpg) is the giant fucking rabbit. See? Easy. :)

It's in the gospel of the easter bunny.

Hop 3:16

We all know that Easter is the holiday when the Easter Bunny, having been previously sent in to Hades, rises from the dead and returns to the world of the living to distribute colored eggs in commemoration of the return of spring and its celebration of fertility.

Hop 3:16
And the lord said ye shall buy overpriced choclate in the shape of an egg with excess packaging and hide it not in my name but in the name of a bunny rabit.

Hop 3:16
Make it Hop 4:16 and that would be waterproof. :p

You Christians can't be happy unless you feel persecuted (all 95% of you) and you can bitch about how someone or some group is assaulting your "values and traditions".

You Christians can't be happy unless you feel persecuted (all 95% of you) and you can bitch about how someone or some group is assaulting your "values and traditions".

It's the martyr complex. They take after their saviour.

It's the martyr complex. They take after their saviour.



Jesus was a liberal, if I am not mistaken.

Make it Hop 4:16 and that would be waterproof. :p
Isn't that the line that says all gays go to hell and that capital punishment is what Jesus would do?

Jesus was a liberal, if I am not mistaken.
And sometimes Jesus is a sneaky bunny.

You Christians can't be happy unless you feel persecuted (all 95% of you) and you can bitch about how someone or some group is assaulting your "values and traditions".

Until you accept the Lord and his Savior you will never understand. Only the good book, that is the Bible for you heathens, can save your blackened soul. Praise Allah!

Jesus was a liberal, if I am not mistaken.

Apparently he was a huge rabbit, too.

If the commercialists want to have a generic spring holiday then let them. Just like Christmas, the rampant buying of chocolate at Easter has nothing whatsoever to do with the religious festival. If you want to call them Easter Eggs, fine; if not, also fine. The fact is that as a default, kids don't give a shit about Jesus's resurrection, nobody can force them to and bribery is immoral, but there's nothing stopping you from celebrating it in whatever way you see fit and telling the children what you're doing it for.

So who cares what everyone else calls it? If you're celebrating Easter, you can use the eggs and rabbit and frikkin' chocolate all you want under the Easter banner. But other people can use it for their own purposes too.

Isn't that the line that says all gays go to hell and that capital punishment is what Jesus would do?
:eek: Why, I had no idea! I just thought it was the date Easter fell on this year. But this travesty can't stand! *rips the Book of Hop to shreds and goes off to eat one of those delicious, soothing, chocolate mousse-filled.......... mmmmmmhhhh*

Apparently he was a huge rabbit, too.


How misguided am I in the ways of Christianity and its infinite wisdom to assume that Jesus was a person.

How misguided am I in the ways of Christianity and its infinite wisdom to assume that Jesus was a person.
Yes. But accepting the Truth shall make you free, son. Amen.

If the commercialists want to have a generic spring holiday then let them. Just like Christmas, the rampant buying of chocolate at Easter has nothing whatsoever to do with the religious festival. If you want to call them Easter Eggs, fine; if not, also fine. The fact is that as a default, kids don't give a shit about Jesus's resurrection, nobody can force them to and bribery is immoral, but there's nothing stopping you from celebrating it in whatever way you see fit and telling the children what you're doing it for.

So who cares what everyone else calls it? If you're celebrating Easter, you can use the eggs and rabbit and frikkin' chocolate all you want under the Easter banner. But other people can use it for their own purposes too.
But where does your cold logic leave the war?

How misguided am I in the ways of Christianity and its infinite wisdom to assume that Jesus was a person.

You have been lead astray, my son. Say 20 Hail Bunnies and eat 3 Cadbury cream eggs. Ego Te Absolve.

Yes. But accepting the Truth shall make you free, son. Amen.


If Jesus laid those eggs, then what is the creamy stuff that is inside? :eek:

Apparently he was a huge rabbit, too.
Obviously you are wrong and should be ashamed for making such an uninformed post. The thought that people with your limited cranal capacity exist astounds me. :headbang:

Obviously you are wrong and should be ashamed for making such an uninformed post. The thought that people with your limited cranal capacity exist astounds me. :headbang:

Clearly. The thought that people with your limited understanding of sarcasm exist astounds me. :stupidfuckingoverusedheadbangagainstwallsmiley:

Obviously you are wrong and should be ashamed for making such an uninformed post. The thought that people with your limited cranal capacity exist astounds me. :headbang:

That better be a joke...

If Jesus laid those eggs, then what is the creamy stuff that is inside? :eek:
There, there, don't fret. Listen, "Jesus" is just a story book character made up by the Cadbury Conglomerate (CC) to sell more of their diabetes-inducing legal drugs. He is most often pictured looking like PM, and the story of his creation, right down to the big CC involved, shows some truly disturbing similarities to this guy (http://www.adclassix.com/images51cokesanta.jpg).

On second thought: you better start fretting now. :eek:

Obviously you are wrong and should be ashamed for making such an uninformed post. The thought that people with your limited cranal capacity exist astounds me. :headbang:
Perhaps you could prove Jesus does not turn into a bunny each and every spring?

But where does your cold logic leave the war?
Since when did logical thought ever stop wars?

Obviously you are wrong and should be ashamed for making such an uninformed post. The thought that people with your limited cranal capacity exist astounds me. :headbang:
I'm right there with you buddy. How, in this day and age, does someone go through life with the delusion that Jesus was a bunny? Clearly he was a giant marshmallow peep.

Since when did logical thought ever stop wars?
I will now refer to you as my Cheney. Thank you, friend.

That better be a joke...
I don't joke, young one. I am in the habit of making valuable, well informed posts. Your limited grasp of this is understandable.

I don't joke, young one. I am in the habit of making valuable, well informed posts. Your limited grasp of this is understandable.

*Bows*

Am so sorry, sensai. Forgot honourable self was wiser than I. Shall go and commit Hari-Kari whilst attempting to atone for believing anonymous internet poster was equal to me...

Clearly he was a giant marshmallow peep.
Oooh. Must. Post. Link. (http://www.millikin.edu/staley/fluff/peep_research.html)

*Bows*

Am so sorry, sensai. Forgot honourable self was wiser than I. Shall go and commit Hari-Kari whilst attempting to atone for believing anonymous internet poster was equal to me...
I have made no attempt to make myself anonymous. Who I am is built into my name. You have failed at making a valid point once again.

I have made no attempt to make myself anonymous. Who I am is built into my name. You have failed at making a valid point once again.
Nice sig.

I have made no attempt to make myself anonymous. Who I am is built into my name. You have failed at making a valid point once again.

Hmmm...

Well, you've got a better grasp of spelling than US Abassadorship and most of them. And your equal with Tied Up In Blue in terms of belief in superiority, although obviously TUIB is superior to you in terms of intellect. However, you don't have the shock value or comedy value of US Abassadorship, nor have you started making wild conspiracy theories.

I give you a C. Maybe a C+ for the good spelling. Unless you have some decent crackpot theories up your sleeve, then you're going to have a tough time competing with established trolls like US Abassadorship and even the new guy, TUIB.

Hmmm...

Well, you've got a better grasp of spelling than US Abassadorship and most of them. And your equal with Tied Up In Blue in terms of belief in superiority, although obviously TUIB is superior to you in terms of intellect. However, you don't have the shock value or comedy value of US Abassadorship, nor have you started making wild conspiracy theories.

I give you a C. Maybe a C+ for the good spelling. Unless you have some decent crackpot theories up your sleeve, then you're going to have a tough time competing with established trolls like US Abassadorship and even the new guy, TUIB.

I believe Galliam was one of Japacia's little posse. He, like all his little friends, contribute nothing to threads and usually get in trouble for spam.

I believe Galliam was one of Japacia's little posse. He, like all his little friends, contribute nothing to threads and usually get in trouble for spam.

Oh, come now. Don't let their simple-minded attacks phase you. Simply sit back and enjoy the comedic effect of their posting. Why, I've even begun grading them! I also archive US Abassadorship's threads for comedy value. Just release the stress and laugh quietly at them

Jesus hid eggs for his remaining followers in places like Greece, Rome, Nicea, and Thessalonia to encourage his disciples to go to those places and start churches.

Here I thought it is a pagan idea from a fertility festival. Rabbits breed really fast you know... its all about sex! :eek:

I have. I must've missed the part about the giant fucking rabbit.

The giant bleeping rabbit was Goliath of Gath.

The giant bleeping rabbit was Goliath of Gath.

So David fought the Easter bunny?

Damn you, Easter!

*shakes fist*

Oh crap ... that reminds me ... I have to start cleaning for Pesach soon.
and you remind me to ask...if you know any good recipies for matzoh, think you could TG them to me? So far, I have fried matzoh, matzoh with peanut butter, matzoh with jelly, and matzoh in milk with sugar....clearly, I need more ideas.

more to the point, I think Jesus is the egg, and god is the big fucking bunny.

There, there, don't fret. Listen, "Jesus" is just a story book character made up by the Cadbury Conglomerate (CC) to sell more of their diabetes-inducing legal drugs. He is most often pictured looking like PM, and the story of his creation, right down to the big CC involved, shows some truly disturbing similarities to this guy (http://www.fortunecity.com/millennium/hibiscus/121/hatsoff.jpg).

On second thought: you better start fretting now. :eek:
Thats a very 'cool' looking fortunecity logo.

Thats a very 'cool' looking fortunecity logo.
Whaa? For me it isn't. But anyway:

This guy. (http://www.adclassix.com/images51cokesanta.jpg)

Whaa? For me it isn't. But anyway:

This guy. (http://www.adclassix.com/images51cokesanta.jpg)
Isn't that Joseph? Jesus' step-dad?

more to the point, I think Jesus is the egg, and god is the big fucking bunny.

Aha! God a big bunny ... I like it!

Anyway, matzah/pesach recipes soon to be TG'd. Enjoy!

Aha! God a big bunny ... I like it!

Anyway, matzah/pesach recipes soon to be TG'd. Enjoy!
you, my friend, are a godsend. Considering I've been living off rice, I really need some things to replace that...haha. You'd be amazed what you can do with a microwave when you get inventive:)

What the fuck is there a bunny hiding eggs have to do with Jesus' resurection? Who comes up with this stuff?

What the fuck is there a bunny hiding eggs have to do with Jesus' resurection? Who comes up with this stuff?
The Irish, iirc. holiday of fertility.

Jesting, sarcasm, and such aside...

I honestly have no idea how the Easter Bunny, eggs, chocolate, sparkley easter grass, etc. has to do with Jesus.

As far as I know, its just a commercialization of Easter, just like Santa, presents, Randolph, etc. for X-mas even though X-mas was originally Jesus's birthday. The same goes for Halloween with all the holiday decorations, costumes, candy, etc.

Soon, all these holidays will lose ALL religious meaning when all our descendants think of them as holidays with commerce (candy, gifts, decor, etc.) Then maybe, just maybe religious fundamentalism will die out thanks to corporations and commerce.

(This post is made in seriousness with no intention of sarcasm or ribbing that has been thrown around in this thread)

Consumerism is a very spirtual experience for me.

Jesus hid eggs for his remaining followers in places like Greece, Rome, Nicea, and Thessalonia to encourage his disciples to go to those places and start churches.
*FLORT*
:D

Jesting, sarcasm, and such aside...

I honestly have no idea how the Easter Bunny, eggs, chocolate, sparkley easter grass, etc. has to do with Jesus.

As far as I know, its just a commercialization of Easter, just like Santa, presents, Randolph, etc. for X-mas even though X-mas was originally Jesus's birthday. The same goes for Halloween with all the holiday decorations, costumes, candy, etc.

Soon, all these holidays will lose ALL religious meaning when all our descendants think of them as holidays with commerce (candy, gifts, decor, etc.) Then maybe, just maybe religious fundamentalism will die out thanks to corporations and commerce.

(This post is made in seriousness with no intention of sarcasm or ribbing that has been thrown around in this thread)Oh, it was doomed from the get-go. Seriously.

And he laid those eggs himself. After all, being virgin born/a product of parthenogenesis he had an entirely female set of chromosomes. FACT!
Ooh, pwned! :sniper:

I posted this before but eh.. I saw "Easter"

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/4693430/

I can picture Hitler sitting there eating cracker jacks, pointing and laughing. :p

I posted this before but eh.. I saw "Easter"

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/4693430/

I can picture Hitler sitting there eating cracker jacks, pointing and laughing. :p
I just died a little bit.

Not this shit again....


... as if we didn't get enough of this at Christmas. :p

Not this shit again....


... as if we didn't get enough of this at Christmas. :p
I wasn't here for Christmas :(

I wasn't here for Christmas :(
Where were you? You could have stopped O'Reilly.

Where were you? You could have stopped O'Reilly.
I was too busy reading his childrens book.

I was too busy reading his childrens book.
O'Reilly writes children's books? :eek:

O'Reilly writes children's books? :eek:
I'm pretty sure.. I think..

War on which Easter?

War on which Easter?
That one the Muslims wrote a cartoon about.

O'Reilly writes children's books? :eek:
I think a lot of us were under the impression that he sticks just to reading them. You know, to keep his amygdala attenuated.
It started with that vexing novella, My Pet Goat, you know, Shrubya's stumper. It grew into an obsession, i fear.

I'm pretty sure.. I think..
It's really weird. I took a look through it (I work at a bookstore). O'Reilly Factor for Kids. I remember something where he calls smart kids something, and dumb kids, something else. It's basically just a copy of a ton of other books for kids about how to deal with bullies and where all that hair is coming from. Actually, fortunately, I don't think he wrote anything on puberty.

You Christians can't be happy unless you feel persecuted (all 95% of you) and you can bitch about how someone or some group is assaulting your "values and traditions".
As a Christian, I say the pagans can have their hard-boiled eggs back. All of them. Nasty. How anyone eats the things, I'll never know.

War on which Easter?

That one the Muslims wrote a cartoon about.

Or maybe he wanted to know whether it was western Easter or Orthodox Easter/Pascha.

They're not the same date - you western heretic schismatics [joke! joke!] are a week before us this year.

Have you read the bible?


*I* have, and there's no mention of an easter bunny hiding eggs for the 12 disciples to find.

This may be a case of PC censorship, but Easter was/is still a Pagan holiday. However, The Xtian church did hijack the spring festival for its own theology.

That one the Muslims wrote a cartoon about.
Well, you see, there are several out there. You're gonna have to be more specific.

If Jesus laid those eggs, then what is the creamy stuff that is inside? :eek:

Salvation. Don't you just wish to feel it all over your face ?

Salvation. Don't you just wish to feel it all over your face ?
Salvation bukkake!

Salvation bukkake!
Somewhere in here a line was crossed. For the sake of all things human, step back over it!

Somewhere in here a line was crossed. For the sake of all things human, step back over it!
Salvation somberness.

Won't anyone wage this war with me?

Oooh. Must. Post. Link. (http://www.millikin.edu/staley/fluff/peep_research.html)
Now we just need to get a big enough microwave to nuke jesus.

Won't anyone wage this war with me?
im too busy laughing at yo face

Won't anyone wage this war with me?
Nah, I'm all waged out. Sorry, man.

@Ravenshrike: Are you saying you would microwave a poor li'l peep? :eek: A Jesus Peep even? Ah, what has the world come to... :( *goes off to bed, head shaking in despair*

im too busy laughing at yo face
*hi-fives*

Now we just need to get a big enough microwave to nuke jesus.
I'm sure Martha Stewart has one that ell do the job.

Go my marshmellow peep army!! CRUSH THE NONBELIEVERS!!!!! Chocolate bunnies, bring up the egg-tillery!!! IF IT'S A WAR THEY WANT, IT'S A WAR THEY'LL GET!!!!! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!:rolleyes:

(it's just christmas...oops, I mean Non-denominational-Winter-Holiday...all over again)

Ah, Easter, that magical day when Jesus came out of his cave, saw his shadow, and there were 2000 more years of guilt.

Go my marshmellow peep army!! CRUSH THE NONBELIEVERS!!!!! Chocolate bunnies, bring up the egg-tillery!!! IF IT'S A WAR THEY WANT, IT'S A WAR THEY'LL GET!!!!! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!:rolleyes:

(it's just christmas...oops, I mean Non-denominational-Winter-Holiday...all over again)
I have a bigger peep army than you! :p

What exactly did I miss durring the holidays on here?

Ah, Easter, that magical day when Jesus came out of his cave, saw his shadow, and there were 2000 more years of guilt.
Ok ok okokokokokok.
1. I like your name.
2. You turn me on.
3. I am very tempted to quote you in my sig, but I'm too damn lazy.
4. Thats hawt.

:fluffle:

Ok ok okokokokokok.
1. I like your name.
2. You turn me on.
3. I am very tempted to quote you in my sig, but I'm too damn lazy.
4. Thats hawt.

:fluffle:

Always nice to know I can turn someone on just by making an Easter joke.

The whole egg, rabbit, Spring thing was something they used to convert pagans into Christians. All they had to do was make Christianity very similar to the Pagan religions. Heck, it worked in Ireland and with Christmas.

Not to mention the fact that, to paraphrase Bill Hicks, you wouldn't want your kids biting the head off a chocolate Jesus

im too busy laughing at yo face
Don't make me remind you that Bunny Jesus gave me this face.

The thing about the easter bunny is that's no ordinary rabbit. It's the most foul and bad-tempered rodent you ever laid eyes on. It's got huge sharp...
it can leap about...
Look at the bones!

Why would someone worship a killing machine instead of poor innocent Jesus is beyond me.

The thing about the easter bunny is that's no ordinary rabbit. It's the most foul and bad-tempered rodent you ever laid eyes on. It's got huge sharp...
it can leap about...
Look at the bones!

Why would someone worship a killing machine instead of poor innocent Jesus is beyond me.
Jesus IS the killing machine.

easters the most pagan festival of christians ever.

we celebrate a guy coming alive again by eating chocolate eggs and gorging ourselves - and the whole thing is based on where the moon is in the sky.

WTF

Fox news is on top of it. Thank Allah.

http://bradblog.com/video/flvplayer/FlvPlayer.html?file=http://www.ameratsu.com/media/vid/fox/fox_ff_war_on_easter_060324a_320x240.flv&width=320&height=240&OrigWidth=320&OrigHeight=240

I could try the less than obvious joke, but I think a lead balloon would be more popular.

I could try the less than obvious joke, but I think a lead balloon would be more popular.
Oh, go ahead. Everyone has stopped reading this thread, anyway.

Jesus IS the killing machine.
Re: "Revelation"

Re: "Revelation"
Re: "Passion of the Christ II: Passionate with a Vengeance"

It was bound to happen as the War on Easter escalated. It looks like both sides are playing for keeps now:

http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/9138/ripeaster7id9eb.jpg

Re: "Passion of the Christ II: Passionate with a Vengeance"


V for Vendetta II -- The Passion of the Christ

I have. I must've missed the part about the giant fucking rabbit.

“And yea, did a GFR come amongst the people who were unto the land. The GFR did seed the land with eggs of Easter and it was good.”

I seem to remember reading it in Coninthians…

War on Easter!!!
My teachers at school aren't at war with Easter. They hired Santa to assassinate the Easter Bunny (man that's a weird class).

It was bound to happen as the War on Easter escalated. It looks like both sides are playing for keeps now:

http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/9138/ripeaster7id9eb.jpg
Oh my God, LOL! :p. Sometimes the internet really, really gets it right.

Re: "Passion of the Christ II: Passionate with a Vengeance"
Ah. Is it a .... nail biter? A side-splitter?

Ah. Is it a .... nail biter? A side-splitter?
Let's just say that you see parts of a bunny rabbit never shown on the big screen before.