NationStates Jolt Archive

Seriously. I have nothing better to do. Who do you think is tougher? Anyone who say Chuck Norris will be glared at angrily.

On the one hand, Jesus got crucified, stabbed with a spear, and the whole crown or thorns thing.

On the other, Odin got stuck to a tree with a spear, and he ripped his own eye out.

Chuck Norris.

*prepares for glaring*

Chuck Norris.

*prepares for glaring*

Glares mercilessly.

Chuck Norris.

*prepares for glaring*
:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang:
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!

I hate to say this, but Odin would win. Jesus is not the type of guy to lay the smackdown on other people.

Odin. jesus was weak.
I dont reallybelieve in odin though.
But definately not chuck norris.

Neither. They are part of the bleesed skull and cross bones of the Pirate Religion. Which I will write teh doctrine for and put it on Wikipedia when I feel like it. The other part is Dayane that guy from the six day war with the eye patch. YARRR!

Odin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Odin/Wotan would kick Jesus ass. And then feed Jesus his testies to Fenris.

Meh, I bet you Jesus could hurl lightning bolts. And he was immune in his divine form to all physical harm. And he could heal himself.

Oh, I just remembered something else.

Jesus may have been born of a virgin.

Odin's adopted son gave birth to a horse.

http://home.flash.net/~jeanneb/odin.jpg vs.http://www.allhatnocattle.net/jesus%20bush%20cheney.jpg


Let's get ready to RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMBLE!

Rand Al'Thor would win, while we are talking about mythological beings.

OK, seriously this time:
Odin. I wouldn't know but I'm going to guess that being stuck to a tree with a spear hurt more. The eye thing might have also hurt a little.

Odin's adopted son gave birth to a horse.

And that's just weird.

EDIT: This should be a poll.

Odin/Wotan would kick Jesus ass. And then feed Jesus his testies to Fenris.
Yeah, Odin is the ultimate pwnzor. None can beat the mighty warrior god's wisdom and fury. He bears the unspeakable wrath, the likes of which you can't begin to fathom. "Strike [him] down, and [he] shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, Darth."

Rand Al'Thor would win, while we are talking about mythological beings.
Rand is a pussy.

Bah Odin an Jesus suck, Ukko own them both. And the Flying Sphagetti Monster owns everyone

I thought Odin was hung for nine days in order to learn the power of the seid, hence the "Hanging God" title and was stabbed as part of that. He cut his eye out to drink from a well that gave him the knowledge of runes corrrect?

edit:Whoops mixed those up hung himself for rune knowledge eye traded for wisdom, magic a whole 'nother deal.

Meh, I bet you Jesus could hurl lightning bolts. And he was immune in his divine form to all physical harm. And he could heal himself.
Hey! He used a cheat code!:mad:

Loki says to tell you "Dad sucks".


Just FYI.

Rand Al'Thor would win, while we are talking about mythological beings.

Wheel of time tastic! I really need to get hold of the newest book!

Hey! He used a cheat code!:mad:
Cheating still gets you victory.

OK, seriously this time:
Odin. I wouldn't know but I'm going to guess that being stuck to a tree with a spear hurt more. The eye thing might have also hurt a little.



And that's just weird.

EDIT: This should be a poll.
He removed his eye to have a third sight, you know. He could pwn Jesus before Jesus knew what he was going to do himself.:D

Cheating still gets you victory.
Hey, is Loki speaking through you, too?

Cheeky God.

Wheel of time tastic! I really need to get hold of the newest book!

So do I!

He says the 12th book will be the last one though... I dont know if I'm excited or sad that the series will be ending in a year or two :/

Hey, is Loki speaking through you, too?

Cheeky God.
I might in fact be Loki. :)

I might in fact be Loki. :)Are you currently in a cave with acid being dripped on your face by your wife?

I thought Odin was hung for nine days in order to learn the power of the sith, hence the "Hanging God" title and was stabbed as part of that. He cut his eye out to drink from a well that gave him the knowledge of runes corrrect?
The eye for the knowledge of the runes is right. I don't know about the power of the sith....

Are you currently in a cave with acid being dripped on your face by your wife?
Okay screw that, I am Apollo.

Oh, and Minerva kicks both Odin and Jesus's butts. Well, unless Jesus invokes the shield of invulnerability and blasts her with divine lightning.

Cheating still gets you victory.
I'm afraid I must disqualify Jesus at this point.

The eye for the knowledge of the runes is right. I don't know about the power of the sith....
That was a misspelling based on how it I remember it sounding from my class on norse history it should have been seid.

I'm afraid I must disqualify Jesus at this point.
Jesus disqualifies YOU. :)

I might in fact be Loki. :)
Really?

Well, look - not that I don't appreciate the vision you visited upon me before Ostara last year, but I'm having a tricky time liberating these bastards here in Midgard from those who've perverted your power. That's been a thankless task, I don't mind telling you.

On the other hand, you've done a crikey good job improving my lot in life, smoting my enemies along the way and all.

So, seeing as I've got you here in person again, would a small Temple suffice? Small-ish?

Really?

Well, look - not that I don't appreciate the vision you visited upon me before Ostara last year, but I'm having a tricky time liberating these bastards here in Midgard from those who've perverted your power. That's been a thankless task, I don't mind telling you.

On the other hand, you've done a crikey good job improving my lot in life, smoting my enemies along the way and all.

So, seeing as I've got you here in person again, would a small Temple suffice? Small-ish?
Ask the real Loki. As I said, I am Apollo. :p

Okay screw that, I am Apollo.

Oh, and Minerva kicks both Odin and Jesus's butts. Well, unless Jesus invokes the shield of invulnerability and blasts her with divine lightning.
Apollo, eh? Well, then, kneel before your god! Lord Helios comes to claim his rightful throne, dastardly archer!

Jesus disqualifies YOU. :)Don't make me go get God (the Yahweh) in here, he'll break this up.

Jesus disqualifies YOU. :)
Sorry, wrong religion. :p

Don't make me go get God (the Yahweh) in here, he'll break this up.
Jesus is part of the Holy Trinity. Calling God would only get you in worse shit. :p

Apollo, eh? Well, then, kneel before your god! Lord Helios comes to claim his rightful throne, dastardly archer!
Heh, I am hotter than you. That's got to count for something. Oh yeah, and I get more men too. :p

Don't make me go get God (the Yahweh) in here, he'll break this up.
But if Geezuss is already here, isn't his Dad also here? It's that 3-for-1 dealie I'm thinking of.

God, Geezuss, and Cousin It.

Don't make me go get God (the Yahweh) in here, he'll break this up.
Not if Loki truly is present. ;)

As I said, I am Apollo. :p
The Cylons will kick your ass.

The Cylons will kick your ass.
Hey, Minerva will protect me. :) I am just here to look pretty and clever and all...

Heh, I am hotter than you. That's got to count for something. Oh yeah, and I get more men too. :p
Damn! How did you know I'm not hot? Oh, you thought I was Lord Helios. You are most mistaken. If you are female, that would make you more Artemis the Whoress, not Apollo. If you are male, well, that fits the Greeks.

Jesus is part of the Holy Trinity. Calling God would only get you in worse shit. :pHe's still physically and mentally seperate somehow. And God is his FATHER. Since David was pretty much just there.

Not if Loki truly is present. ;)
Count on it. I've got a strong personal relationship with 'im, and no way would he miss this.

Hey, Minerva will protect me. :) I am just here to look pretty and clever and all...
Bah, I have Ukko here with his Kickass hammer to save me.

Hey, Minerva will protect me. :) I am just here to look pretty and clever and all...
Not if Moira has anything to say about that. Too bad she hates me right now....:headbang:

Damn! How did you know I'm not hot? Oh, you thought I was Lord Helios. You are most mistaken. If you are female, that would make you more Artemis the Whoress, not Apollo. If you are male, well, that fits the Greeks.
Yes, I am a male Apollo. :p Who would want to be Artemis, of all the gods? Hera would kick her puny ass. So would Minerva.

He's still physically and mentally seperate somehow. And God is his FATHER. Since David was pretty much just there.
So now it is Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit! :eek:

Damn! How did you know I'm not hot? Oh, you thought I was Lord Helios. You are most mistaken. If you are female, that would make you more Artemis the Whoress, not Apollo. If you are male, well, that fits the Greeks.
Uh, I'm pretty sure Artemis was a virgin goddess.

Jack Bauer

Count on it. I've got a strong personal relationship with 'im, and no way would he miss this.
*drawls out "excellent" like Monty Burns*

Jesus kind of had a death wish, so Odin would probably have no trouble killing him.

Now, resurrected Jesus, there’s a mother fucker I wouldn’t want to come across in a dark alley.

Jack Bauer
Puny hu-man.

Uh, I'm pretty sure Artemis was a virgin goddess.
Those rumors are entirely unfounded. And by that I mean I know, but I was clutching at ways to insult the other.

Jesus kind of had a death wish, so Odin would probably have no trouble killing him.

Now, resurrected Jesus, there’s a mother fucker I wouldn’t want to come across in a dark alley.
That is what we are talking about! :eek: Divine shields, floating powers, lightning bolts...you name it, He has it.

Jesus kind of had a death wish, so Odin would probably have no trouble killing him.

Now, resurrected Jesus, there’s a mother fucker I wouldn’t want to come across in a dark alley.
All that guy can do is walk on water and make a lot of fish magically appear.

A team up of Ukko, Odin and Thor could take the whole trinity probably.

Those rumors are entirely unfounded. And by that I mean I know, but I was clutching at ways to insult the other.
You should have gone for Aphrodite now there's a slut, she even slept with mortals:eek: ;)

Yes, I am a male Apollo. :p Who would want to be Artemis, of all the gods? Hera would kick her puny ass. So would Minerva.
So you are male? Or are you pretending to be male?

So you are male? Or are you pretending to be male?
Apollo liked guys. I like guys. We are of the same gender. :p We are one and the same.

You should have gone for Aphrodite now there's a slut, she even slept with mortals:eek: ;)
So did Zeus....Besides, I needed something closer to Apollo.

So did Zeus....Besides, I needed something closer to Apollo.
Yeah, but thats was alright 'cause he was a dude, they had a thing about goddess' sleeping with mortal's back then.

Apollo liked guys. I like guys. We are of the same gender. :p We are one and the same.
Then why is he hitting on Starbuck?

Apollo liked guys. I like guys. We are of the same gender. :p We are one and the same.
Then I'm confused as to how you could look pretty....I don't find males attractive at all, not even me.:eek:

Yeah, but thats was alright 'cause he was a dude, they had a thing about goddess' sleeping with mortal's back then.
And gods.

Then I'm confused as to how you could look pretty....I don't find males attractive at all, not even me.:eek:
The male god of beauty is not attractive? :eek: I shall have my Priests burn thee, Heretic!

Then why is he hitting on Starbuck?
He hit on women and men.

Yeah, but thats was alright 'cause he was a dude, they had a thing about goddess' sleeping with mortal's back then.
They had a thing about women sleeping with ANYBODY back then. Sorry, I don't subscribe to gender roles of any era. Nothing excuses Zeus's infidelity.

And gods.
That wasn't considered as bad as sleeping around with mortals.

The male god of beauty is not attractive? :eek: I shall have my Priests burn thee, Heretic!
Post-haste. Sounds suspiciously like one of those newfangled 'monotheists' I hear tell of.

They had a thing about women sleeping with ANYBODY back then. Sorry, I don't subscribe to gender roles of any era. Nothing excuses Zeus's infidelity.
Same here. Apollo also had a real time getting women. They detested him, for all his beauty.

That wasn't considered as bad as sleeping around with mortals.
By whose consideration?

He hit on women and men.
Well, if you count adolecent boys as men;)

He hit on women and men.
What a stinking doG.

Baldur is the Norse counterpart to Jesus, and even he's tougher.

Post-haste. Sounds suspiciously like one of those newfangled 'monotheists' I hear tell of.
They worship that Jesus creature. Nay, I, Apollo, I am the one Olympian god worthy of your worship. The others are just jealous wannabes.

By whose consideration?
The greeks and their pantheon.

The male god of beauty is not attractive? :eek: I shall have my Priests burn thee, Heretic!
Good luck. The goddess Athena protects me. Her queen is mine, a shield from your demonic magics.:cool:

Baldur is the Norse counterpart to Jesus, and even he's tougher.
Freya could kick Jesus ass.

Good luck. The goddess Athena protects me. Her queen is mine, a shield from your demonic magics.:cool:
Lady Minerva? She is my bodyguard. :eek:

Freya could kick Jesus ass.

You read my mind.

Freya could kick Jesus ass.
Yeah, but she was frigid.

Freya could kick Jesus ass.
And Thor's, and Odin's, and Hera's. :eek:

Post-haste. Sounds suspiciously like one of those newfangled 'monotheists' I hear tell of.
You couldn't be much more wrong. I worship the old gods.

Baldur is the Norse counterpart to Jesus, and even he's tougher.
No more talking for you. Baldur died. FROM MISTLETOE!!!!!

Meh, I bet you Jesus could hurl lightning bolts. And he was immune in his divine form to all physical harm. And he could heal himself.
Hey! He used a cheat code!

http://loljesus.com/submissions/jesuslol_hax.jpg

And Thor's, and Odin's, and Hera's. :eek:
Hel hath no fury like a woman scorned. And Jesus beeing the a-sexuel wuzz he was probably would have turned her down. Bad move!!!

Hel hath no fury like a woman scorned. And Jesus beeing the a-sexuel wuzz he was probably would have turned her down. Bad move!!!
Hrmmm I am wondering who would win a fight between Hera and Freya. Hera was one nasty bitch.

And Thor's, and Odin's, and Hera's. :eek:

Loki's daughter Hela could beat them all.

Loki's daughter Hela could beat them all.
How?

Loki's daughter Hela could beat them all.
Bah. She only has one eye.

Lady Minerva? She is my bodyguard. :eek:
"You will find you are mistaken about a great many things." (Emperor Palpatine, Return of the Jedi) Were you not listening? The goddess's queen is my queen. She favors me.

What a stinking doG.
Yes, couldn't he just sate himself with men? :rolleyes:

Hrmmm I am wondering who would win a fight between Hera and Freya. Hera was one nasty bitch.Freya, Hera was a weak little bitch that was afraid of being hit by Zeus.

Feya, HEra was a weak little bitch that was afraid of being hit by Zeus.
He was actually afraid of her wrath. :p He wasn't even able to protect Hercules from her.

You couldn't be much more wrong. I worship the old gods.
Ever notice, when you meet someone who's recently emigrated from some part of the third world, whose parents'd been converted by Christian Missionaries years before coming over, the look of utter bewilderment that comes over them when you tell 'em you venerate the elder Gods?

Like you're Johnny Rotten and they're the Winterland Ballroom?

He was actually afraid of her wrath. :p He wasn't even able to protect Hercules from her.
Yeah. He had abused man syndrom.

"You will find you are mistaken about a great many things." (Emperor Palpatine, Return of the Jedi) Were you not listening? The goddess's queen is my queen. She favors me.
But I'm better looking. :( At least have her leave my face in one piece.

He was actually afraid of her wrath. :p He wasn't even able to protect Hercules from her.You never read the Illiad I take it.

Hera tricked Zeus once and he was going to hit her. She got all scared and talked him out of it.

Loki's daughter Hela could beat them all.
Is that an alternate spelling of Hel? If so, no. None can defeat the warrior god of fury.

Ever notice, when you meet someone who's recently emigrated from some part of the third world, whose parents'd been converted by Christian Missionaries years before coming over, the look of utter bewilderment that comes over them when you tell 'em you venerate the elder Gods?
Worshippers of the old Gods don't try convert others.

You never read the Illiad I take it.

Hera tricked Zeus once and he was going to hit her. She got all scared and talked him out of it.
You had to bring that up. Maybe she was having a bad day.

Worshippers of the old Gods don't try convert others.
Yes, we merely slaughter them...:)

He was actually afraid of her wrath. :p He wasn't even able to protect Hercules from her.
But let's keep in mind that Herakles was the son of one of Hera's minions, not the son of Zeus.

But let's keep in mind that Herakles was the son of one of Hera's minions, not the son of Zeus.
You lie! :eek:

Ever notice, when you meet someone who's recently emigrated from some part of the third world, whose parents'd been converted by Christian Missionaries years before coming over, the look of utter bewilderment that comes over them when you tell 'em you venerate the elder Gods?

Like you're Johnny Rotten and they're the Winterland Ballroom?
No, I've never had that experince, just run-ins with the local zealots. But now that you mention it, I really wanna try that; it sounds hilarious.

Yes, we merely slaughter them...:)
Thats why theres so few of us. Perhaps we should try converting for a change. If it doesn't work out we can still slaughter them.

Worshippers of the old Gods don't try convert others.
:rolleyes: You're reading the post incredibly incorrectly, Von Witzeleben.

Thats why theres so few of us. Perhaps we should try converting for a change. If it doesn't work out we can still slaughter them.
Nah, that would be tantamount to converting ourselves. I'm not giving up the old traditions just to add a few upstart weaklings to our ranks.

:rolleyes: You're reading the post incredibly incorrectly, Von Witzeleben.
*mutters* blubber....so what?

*mutters* blubber....so what?
It was funny. And having to explain a quip is anything but, so I'm not sayin' anyth

But I'm better looking. :( At least have her leave my face in one piece.
HA! You show yourself to be a coward, sir! A god supressed at the hand of an Immortal! The goddess will have no mercy for insolent whelps. When the time comes, she will punish your impudence most harshly.

You lie! :eek:
I do no such thing at the moment.

HA! You show yourself to be a coward, sir! A god supressed at the hand of an Immortal! The goddess will have no mercy for insolent whelps. When the time comes, she will punish your impudence most harshly.
*Bursts into tears*

But I am too young, and too beautiful to die. :(

I do no such thing at the moment.
Wasn't he the son of Zeus? :confused:

*Bursts into tears*

But I am too young, and too beautiful to die. :(
Who said anything of death? There are much worse fatess than death.

It's my assertion that NSG runs on Loki energy.

*Bursts into tears*

But I am too young, and too beautiful to die. :(
You will probably be cleaning Olympus and Asgards toilets for eternity. Especially Asgard seems dangerouse. With all the drunk Enrier not hitting the bowl all the time.

Who said anything of death? There are much worse fatess than death.
Ugliness? :confused:

You will probably be cleaning Olympus and Asgards toilets for eternity. Especially Asgard seems dangerouse. With all the drunk Enrier not hitting the bowl all the time.
Nah, I'd just end up taking over the places and crowning myself its King.

Wasn't he the son of Zeus? :confused:
Nope. The figure who raped his mother wasn't Zeus, but a man-ish that had a lightening bolt carved into his arm by Herakles's mother's husband. He raped Herakles's mother in revenge for the insult of the Zeus-mark in his Hera-worshipping skin. Thus mighty Herakles was conceived.

You will probably be cleaning Olympus and Asgards toilets for eternity. Especially Asgard seems dangerouse. With all the drunk Enrier not hitting the bowl all the time.
ROFLMAO!!!:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Nope. The figure who raped his mother wasn't Zeus, but a man-ish that had a lightening bolt carved into his arm by Herakles's mother's husband. He raped Herakles's mother in revenge for the insult of the Zeus-mark in his Hera-worshipping skin. Thus mighty Herakles was conceived.
How utterly misogynistic. :rolleyes:

Ugliness? :confused:
Only the goddess herself could tell you. Or Moira.

Nah, I'd just end up taking over the places and crowning myself its King.
Well, you'll be at it for Eternity. But why not, eh?

(laughs)

Nah, I'd just end up taking over the places and crowning myself its King.
Good luck getting past the millions of souls of blood-thirsty warriors who have been sent there over the millenia.

Well, you'll be at it for Eternity. But why not, eh?

(laughs)
Yes, and then I'll have one of you infidels take up the job.

Good luck getting past the millions of souls of blood-thirsty warriors who have been sent there over the millenia.
Sex is power. :)

I'm afraid I must depart. I shall perhaps return tomorrow.

I'm afraid I must depart. I shall perhaps return tomorrow.
Weak mortal.

Sex is power. :)
I doubt the Enrier would be interested in a guy.

Weak mortal.
Well, that goes without saying.

Your point?

I doubt the Enrier would be interested in a guy.
Not even the god of beauty?

Well, that goes without saying.

Your point?
Gods need to have points and reasons? :confused:

Thor out of 10.

Not even the god of beauty?
Very unlikely.

Very unlikely.
Yes, well back to the fact that Jesus would pwn Odin. :)

Yes, well back to the fact that Jesus would pwn Odin. :)
Also unlikely. Jesus would simply turn the other cheek. Untill he has no cheeks left.

Also unlikely. Jesus would simply turn the other cheek. Untill he has no cheeks left.
Bah popular misconception. Turn the other cheek means force your aggressor to treat you as an equal, and defend yourself. Jesus would do this. With thunder-power and holy flames.

Well, odin would slaughter Jesus. Then Jesus would lay there for so many days and rise from the dead, go up to heaven, and Odin would be screwed. Just a matter of time till he dies. Although we are talking two different religions here, so I don't know if Jesus' rules would apply. :rolleyes:

Well, odin would slaughter Jesus. Then Jesus would lay there for so many days and rise from the dead, go up to heaven, and Odin would be screwed. Just a matter of time till he dies. Although we are talking two different religions here, so I don't know if Jesus' rules would apply. :rolleyes:
But of course they do! :eek:

Yes, well back to the fact that Jesus would pwn Odin. :)
http://www.hollywoodjesus.com/movie/Jesus_series/page3/putoncross.jpgpwnshttp://www.kulturreisen-baldham.de/reisen/WagnerKalender/wotan.jpg?

Oh, please. Young snotty wouldn't stand a chance.

http://www.hollywoodjesus.com/movie/Jesus_series/page3/putoncross.jpgpwns http://www.kulturreisen-baldham.de/reisen/WagnerKalender/wotan.jpg?

Oh, please. Young snotty wouldn't stand a chance.
O rly?

http://www.bibletruthonline.com/Jesus_ascending_to_heaven_-_by_William_Hole.gif

O rly?

http://www.bibletruthonline.com/Jesus_ascending_to_heaven_-_by_William_Hole.gif
O yeah!

http://home.earthlink.net/~norsemyths/visions/odenstatue.jpg

O yeah!

http://home.earthlink.net/~norsemyths/visions/odenstatue.jpg
Your petty statue melts before His holy light. :rolleyes:

Your petty statue melts before His holy light. :rolleyes:
Maybe, but at least Odin knows the power of bling!

Maybe, but at least Odin knows the power of bling!
:eek: And Jesus the power of special effects. The holy aura, the lightning bolts...

Plus he had charisma!

:eek: And Jesus the power of special effects. The holy aura, the lightning bolts...

Plus he had charisma!
Yeah, but he reeked like a hippie.

Yeah, but he reeked like a hippie.
Odin bathed? :p The blood of his enemies doesn't count. They both had cool beards though.

First Jesus would end Odin's life then he would raise him from the dead, and Odin would be forever in Jesus's debt.

Odin bathed? :p The blood of his enemies doesn't count. They both had cool beards though.
Odin smelled manly. There's the difference.

Yes, neither of them would've made it into Disneyland in the 50s with facial growth like that.

Odin bathed? :p The blood of his enemies doesn't count. They both had cool beards though.
Jesus wore a wig!!!

First Jesus would end Odin's life then he would raise him from the dead, and Odin would be forever in Jesus's debt.
Odin would end Hayzoose's life first and make him headwaiter at his table in Asgard.

Odin smelled manly. There's the difference.
Well he might have a chance if he kills Jesus with his stench. Won't work in his divine form though.

Yes, neither of them would've made it into Disneyland in the 50s with facial growth like that.
Imagine them waging battle in Disneyland! :eek: The children!

Jesus wore a wig!!!
Skinheads rock too.

Well first there will be three winters in a row, with no summers in between. And John will notice somthing is amiss, and start writing letters to the seven churches in the province of Asia, by command of an angel sent by Yehweh. At the same time this is happening the wolf Skoll will finally devour the sun, and his brother Hati the moon. Some Roosters will crow and raise the dead. Then suddenly, the four horsemen of the apocolypse will come out of nowhere to conquer, make everyone fight eachother, famine, plague, etc.

Meanwhile, Heimdall sounds his horn, calling the sons of Odin and the heroes to the battlefield. From all the corners of the world, gods, giants, dwarves, demons and elves will ride towards the huge plain of Vigrid where the last battle will be fought. And Jesus will be riding on a cloud with his army of angels behind him, and Satan is too busy playing video games to join in. (I told you video games were the devil!)

Odin will be fighting Fenrir when Jesus arrives, Jesus will see his chance and gang up on Odin with Fenrir. All around them there is a horrible slaughter of all the creatures of the world, blood coming down like a thick amazon rain. Fenrir will swallow Odin whole, Jesus suddenly realizes he is nothing without Odin, and he drops to his knees and lifts his hands to the air and goes "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." (John 10:11) And he will stab himself with a spear in his side, and then lightening, earthquakes, floods, fire giants, trolls, sheep, and Judas will all destroy the universe.

~The End~

Bah popular misconception. Turn the other cheek means force your aggressor to treat you as an equal, and defend yourself. Jesus would do this. With thunder-power and holy flames.

How so?

The line has Jesus saying that the Old Testament calls for "eye for an eye" but he's saying now, if struck upon the cheek, you should turn the other. Meaning that the old law required you to show an amount of mercy in that you would not retaliate for MORE damage than you suffered, but he was now requiring more mercy on top of that. That you don't retaliate at all.

I really hate it when people throw their interpretations out there without any defense of it. Like there opinion is fact or something.

Well, odin would slaughter Jesus. Then Jesus would lay there for so many days and rise from the dead, go up to heaven, and Odin would be screwed. Just a matter of time till he dies. Although we are talking two different religions here, so I don't know if Jesus' rules would apply. :rolleyes:

Well, since Jesus died in battle, he'd go to Valhalla, where Odin would be waiting for him. It wouldn't be a sacrifice like the Crucifiction.

jesus was clearly a pussy who couldn't work out who to complain to before he died. odin was a double hard bastard who tore his own eye out. nuff said.

sorry, i'm drunk

How so?

The line has Jesus saying that the Old Testament calls for "eye for an eye" but he's saying now, if struck upon the cheek, you should turn the other. Meaning that the old law required you to show an amount of mercy in that you would not retaliate for MORE damage than you suffered, but he was now requiring more mercy on top of that. That you don't retaliate at all.

I really hate it when people throw their interpretations out there without any defense of it. Like there opinion is fact or something.
It was on Discovery, in an inquiry as to what the line means. Apparently, put in context, the way slaves were struck at the time was with the back of the hand, and thus incidentally one of the two cheeks. It went on to say that you should demand the appropriate respect to be treated as an equal by turning the other cheek to be struck as one. Turn the other cheek is not about passivity, but about demanding equal treatment.

By the way, you needn't get so hostile.

Anyone having a serious religious discusion in a thread named "Odin vs. Jesus" has issues. MAJOR issues that need to be resolved ASAP...

I'm surprised that nobody's pointed this out (at least, I don't think anybody has): Loki wasn't Odin's son, he was his sworn brother.

Anyone having a serious religious discusion in a thread named "Odin vs. Jesus" has issues. MAJOR issues that need to be resolved ASAP...

I dunno. That game Black and White said that when people pray, a god is born. Odin and Jesus could be duking it out right now.

Anyone having a serious religious discusion in a thread named "Odin vs. Jesus" has issues. MAJOR issues that need to be resolved ASAP...
Hey, you can't prove that either existed :p So, if you were inclined, you could actually make a serious defence of both.

I dunno. That game Black and White said that when people pray, a god is born. Odin and Jesus could be duking it out right now.
I'm not arguing that (Well, maybe just a little). I'm just saying this has to be the stupidest thread to argue about interpritations of the bible in.

I'm not arguing that (Well, maybe just a little). I'm just saying this has to be the stupidest thread to argue about interpritations of the bible in.
Hey, I only brought it up when someone said Jesus would just give up. Not in a serious manner though. We had people arguing that Hercules was not Zeus' son even, so come on.

Hey, I only brought it up when someone said Jesus would just give up. Not in a serious manner though. We had people arguing that Hercules was not Zeus' son even, so come on.
Good point...

Anyway, we all know how it would end: Jesus would walk out on to the ocean, Odin would follow and sink. The big J would turn all the water in the ocean into wine and Odin would be his best friend ever.

Good point...

Anyway, we all know how it would end: Jesus would walk out on to the ocean, Odin would follow and sink. The big J would turn all the water in the ocean into wine and Odin would be his best friend ever.
:eek: They were supposed to wage eternal battle over Disneyland. But this works too.

Anyway, we all know how it would end: Jesus would walk out on to the ocean, Odin would follow and sink. The big J would turn all the water in the ocean into wine and Odin would be his best friend ever.

No, Jesus would walk onto the water, and then Odin would transform into an eagle and peck out Jesus' eyes.

No, Jesus would walk onto the water, and then Odin would transform into an eagle and peck out Jesus' eyes.
And then blasts of light come from within Jesus and fry Odin. :)

:eek: They were supposed to wage eternal battle over Disneyland. But this works too.
They could become drinking buddies and Disneyland could be their phrat house...

And then blasts of light come from within Jesus and fry Odin. :)

Hey, Baldur is the god of light. If the god of light came out of Odin's balls, he shouldn't have a problem with Jesus' light.

They could become drinking buddies and Disneyland could be their phrat house...
Nah, they'd just end up going to Valhalla for drinks. Service at Disneyland sucks. So do the drinks. :/

And then blasts of light come from within Jesus and fry Odin. :)
Jesus has lazer-beam eye blasts?

I KNEW IT!!!!

Hey, Baldur is the god of light. If the god of light came out of Odin's balls, he shouldn't have a problem with Jesus' light.
They'd just fuse into one big ball of light :confused:

Jesus has lazer-beam eye blasts?

I KNEW IT!!!!
See? The Truth slowly reveals itself. :eek:

Nah, they'd just end up going to Valhalla for drinks. Service at Disneyland sucks. So do the drinks. :/
True, but Valhalla doesn't have suckers in animal suits whose feet you could lob thunderbolts at. "DANCE, MICKEY, DANCE!"

True, but Valhalla doesn't have suckers in animal suits whose feet you could lob thunderbolts at. "DANCE, MICKEY, DANCE!"
Abduct them and take them with! Then they can be lobbed at for all eternity. :D

Chuck Norris.

Seriously, though, C'thulu would rape both of them.

Chuck Norris
*Begins lobbing thunderbolts*

DANCE, CHIBRIL, DANCE!!!

I'm sorry to interfere :rolleyes:

but i'm sure jezus would win

he would just bore Odin to death :p

I'm sorry to interfere :rolleyes:

but i'm sure jezus would win

he would just bore Odin to death :p
O rly? Jesus was the master orator. Odin would more likely be the dull one outside of battles. :p

I'll see your O RLY and raise you a http://fow-clan.org/portal/images/avatars/397550615441842991d4fc.jpg.
Just doing my job of derailing threads and bringing humor to them.

I'll see your O RLY and raise you a http://fow-clan.org/portal/images/avatars/397550615441842991d4fc.jpg.
Just doing my job of derailing threads and bringing humor to them.
http://media.urbandictionary.com/image/large/yarly-41271.jpg

Seriously. I have nothing better to do. Who do you think is tougher?

*yawns* Why would i care which of two puny godlings is the stronger. Besides, the noise of that fight may wake the Great Dragon...

They both got crucified, pretty much (hung off a tree in Woden's case), but Woden did it to himself. He's that hard. Also, he hung up there for 9 days, dude. That's pretty extreme. And that's as well as taking his own eye out to gain Mimir's knowledge. He was a shapechanger, and all. Wickard.

Fenrir...Ya Rly.

Odin, all the way. Any guy who rides an eight legged horse give has my vote!

Though, it probably doesn't hurt that my family's name is derived from the name of Thor's hammer either ;)

I'd recruit them both.

Jesus. Why? He has more followers than Odin, plain and simple.

Jesus. Why? He has more followers than Odin, plain and simple.

Too bad they suck at fighting especially when it comes to divine war. :p

Too bad they suck at fighting especially when it comes to divine war. :p

LOL!

Odin gets my vote.

Hmm, this is a hard one. Jesus inspired Handel's Messiah, but Odin inspired Wagner's Ring of the Nibelungen. From what I've heard of both works (which is admittedly little), I'd have to say the Ring cycle seems like the probable winner. On the other hand, Jesus was, according to some interpretations, pretty left wing while Odin was ultra-right wing, inspiring Wagner, after all.

Not that it really matters, though. I'm working on my own mythology with a hero who is more powerful than either Jesus or Odin.

Too bad they suck at fighting especially when it comes to divine war.
Nobody can beat the Crusades, the Inquisition, or the Holocaust. Odinians are way out of thier league.

Jesus would turn water into wine, getting Woden drunk... then send the angel Gabriel to bust a cap in Woden's ass.

Seriously. I have nothing better to do. Who do you think is tougher? Anyone who say Chuck Norris will be glared at angrily.

On the one hand, Jesus got crucified, stabbed with a spear, and the whole crown or thorns thing.

On the other, Odin got stuck to a tree with a spear, and he ripped his own eye out.
Jesus... why?

Jesus had all that done to him and he was only God's Son... not the Father of Gods

Nobody can beat the Crusades, the Inquisition, or the Holocaust. Odinians are way out of thier league.

The holocaust wasn't a war :p

One word- Ragnorak

The holocaust wasn't a war.
The point is, Christains killed people, okay?! ;)
One word- Ragnorak
Ours is only slightly more logical: Revelations. :p

Ours is only slightly more logical: Revelations. :p

Yeah but it's not as cool. A giant wolf devours the sun, come on that's a good apocolypse :)

Yeah but it's not as cool. A giant wolf devours the sun, come on that's a good apocolypse.
*thinks: Damn, that is a good apocolypse. Wait a second...*
Oh, it is, but it has nothing to do with how much Jesus would passively crush Odin. :)

*thinks: Damn, that is a good apocolypse. Wait a second...*
Oh, it is, but it has nothing to do with how much Jesus would passively crush Odin. :)

Jesus doesn't have an army of gods though, on the other hand he doesn't have an army of gods against him though.

So Jesus would win just because Fenrir would eat Odin and Jesus would be on the sidelines laughing.

So Jesus would win just because Fenrir would eat Odin and Jesus would be on the sidelines laughing.
Nah, more likely telling parabels, consoling whores and ressurecting the fallen. :p

Nope. The figure who raped his mother wasn't Zeus, but a man-ish that had a lightening bolt carved into his arm by Herakles's mother's husband. He raped Herakles's mother in revenge for the insult of the Zeus-mark in his Hera-worshipping skin. Thus mighty Herakles was conceived.

Are you sure that wasn't just the cheesy Sci-Fi movie?

Nah, more likely telling parabels, consoling whores and ressurecting the fallen. :p

That's boring!

*continues to read the war between the gods, Thor and a giant snake. Something about Hel, etc.*

Ahem.

http://www.almadrava.net/damnans/carlos/odin.jpg

Odin also has a special ability.

Jesus... why?

Jesus had all that done to him and he was only God's Son... not the Father of Gods

Yeah, but was also God. And God was him. And he and God were each other. The whole Holy Trinity Thing is confusing. And I haven't even started on the Holy Ghost. So yeah, you can't use that argument. Incidentally, I say we get an impartial judge.

How about Ra?

I think the battle would largely depend on if they brought their followers along.

Although the spainsh inquisition was allegedly rather good at surprise attacks, I think the Bersarks would have the upper hand in a straight fight, even with that whole furry/nudist thing.
(but that's a different debate.)
and I think we all know the final score of the crusades.

And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron: and he treadeth the winepress of the fierceness and wrath of Almighty God. Rev 19:15

gotta be Jesus espcially Revelation Version

Are you sure that wasn't just the cheesy Sci-Fi movie?
Sorry, haven't seen it.

Yeah but it's not as cool. A giant wolf devours the sun, come on that's a good apocolypse :)
It's the best.

It was on Discovery, in an inquiry as to what the line means. Apparently, put in context, the way slaves were struck at the time was with the back of the hand, and thus incidentally one of the two cheeks. It went on to say that you should demand the appropriate respect to be treated as an equal by turning the other cheek to be struck as one. Turn the other cheek is not about passivity, but about demanding equal treatment.

By the way, you needn't get so hostile.

It sounds like you're saying that your support for the idea that it isn't about passivity is that some guy said it and he's on TV so you know it's true. I need to hear the logic that guy presented, the context of it.

Because as far as I know, the context is that Jesus says that the old law is "eye for an eye" meaning not to punish people to a degree that is greater than the damage they caused, but he's now amending that to say you should not punish them at all. Just like how in the same book he says what the old law is for determining who's an adulterer, but he's now amending it to be that if you even want to have sex with a woman who isn't your wife then you're an adulterer, but we have to stop stoning people to death for being adulterers, otherwise we'll all end up pulverized.

The context in which that quote appears is Jesus upping the standards on human behavior, but eliminating Earthly punishments for a lack of piety.

Jesus would turn water into wine, getting Woden drunk... then send the angel Gabriel to bust a cap in Woden's ass.

There's a flaw in your plan. He doesn't drink wine. He drinks beer, or mead. Your Vintological savior remains powerless before his monocular might!

O rly? Jesus was the master orator. Odin would more likely be the dull one outside of battles. :p

No. He was the primary god of inspiration. He was the one who stole the magic mead of poetry and shared it with the other gods and humanity.

Hmm, this is a hard one. Jesus inspired Handel's Messiah, but Odin inspired Wagner's Ring of the Nibelungen. From what I've heard of both works (which is admittedly little), I'd have to say the Ring cycle seems like the probable winner. On the other hand, Jesus was, according to some interpretations, pretty left wing while Odin was ultra-right wing, inspiring Wagner, after all.

Ultra-right wing?!!

WTF. He overthrew a king because he didn't think the guy was generous enough. That's a communist revolution right there my friend.

Odin got stuck to a tree with a spear, and he ripped his own eye out.
I think that just about settles it. Odin wins.

I think that just about settles it. Odin wins.
We established that a long time ago. Especially after Jesus was disqualified for using a God-mode cheat code.