NationStates Jolt Archive

The threads are just too serious for a Sunday afternoon. That's why the networks put all the news shows on in the morning and lighten it up after lunch. Let's try the same thing.

Me first --

Why was the blonde staring at the can of frozen orange juice?
-- Because the label said "Concentrate".

Why did the blonde put TGIF on her sneakers?
-- So she could remember "Toes Go In First".

Anyone else?

What's blonde and smart?
-- A golden retriever

Blonde jokes? To paraphrase Seinfeld: 1998 called and wanted its "humour" back.

How about...brunette jokes. Or red hair jokes. Or none whatsoever.

Blonde jokes? To paraphrase Seinfeld: 1998 called and wanted its "humour" back.
I live in Georgia. We're at least three years away from 1998.

How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
-- Shine a flashlight in one ear.

Most blonde jokes are crap, but this one is good.

Works best in German:

Was macht 'ne Blonde mit 20 Pils auf dem Dach?
"Die Runde geht auf's Haus."

Works, sort of, in English, too:

What does a blonde with 20 pints of lager do on the roof?
"This round is on the house."

I live in Georgia. We're at least three years away from 1998.
Hmmm... you should probably sell all your internet stock, then.

Hmmm... you should probably sell all your internet stock, then.
Unfortunately, that part of the world did intrude on our little backwater.

As far as humor goes, one-liners are still in fashion, though.

Most blonde jokes are crap, but this one is good.

Works best in German:

Was macht 'ne Blonde mit 20 Pils auf dem Dach?
"Die Runde geht auf's Haus."

Works, sort of, in English, too:

What does a blonde with 20 pints of lager do on the roof?
"This round is on the house."

Wouldn't "Was sagt..." make more sense?

How can you tell if a blonde girl has a blond boyfriend?
--Check her belly button.

A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.

She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box."

The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail."

I dont know about blonde jokes but around where I live, black jokes thrive.

I expect everyone can stay civil and not get offended by a joke....afterall I'm blonde and dont take offense to blonde jokes.

Why are black people so tall?

(Because they're negros) (Get it, their knee-grows)

Why do black people eat tootsie rolls with forks?

(So they dont bite their fingers)

Why dont you ever hit a black kid on a bike when driving your car?

(Because its proably your bike)

All taken in good humor right?

@ Ifreann

No. It has to be "macht".

The question is what she's doing up there. It's not the blonde waitress who said "this round's on the house", that was the landlord, and she took it literally.

Humour is a SERIOUS thing!!!! Especially in Germany.

"Die Ente bleibt draußen!"

All taken in good humor right?
They were funnier than those blonde jokes :p

They were funnier than those blonde jokes :p
hehe, same for me

I dont know about blonde jokes but around where I live, black jokes thrive.

I expect everyone can stay civil and not get offended by a joke....afterall I'm blonde and dont take offense to blonde jokes.

Why are black people so tall?

(Because they're negros) (Get it, their knee-grows)

Why do black people eat tootsie rolls with forks?

(So they dont bite their fingers)

Why dont you ever hit a black kid on a bike when driving your car?

(Because its proably your bike)

All taken in good humor right?


What do you call a black man driving a plane?

(A pilot you racist!):D


And one irrelevant joke:

What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?

(Being raped)

"Die Ente bleibt draußen!"

En anglais, sil vous plait

They were funnier than those blonde jokes :p

Lol...black jokes are THE jokes in South Florida. Except around black people.....seems those good old shvartzes cant take a good old fashion joke. lol.

Lol...black jokes are THE jokes in South Florida. Except around black people.....seems those good old shvartzes cant take a good old fashion joke. lol.
Hrmmm guess what goes in South Africa too :p Schwarzen btw. They also make jokes about us I am told though. :eek:

En anglais, sil vous plait

Il ne me plait pas.

Non-Germans won't understand the "Die Ente bleibt draußen" thing.

What do you call a black man driving a plane?

(A pilot you racist!):D


And one irrelevant joke:

What's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?

(Being raped)

Haha I like the pilot one!

Hrmmm guess what goes in South Africa too :p Schwarzen btw. They also make jokes about us I am told though. :eek:

yeah...well here it seems acceptable for blacks to make jokes about whites...while whites are standing there...but not vice versa...In fact if you say a black joke with blacks around...you risk getting your ass beat.

Some people just cant take a joke.

Non-Germans won't understand the "Die Ente bleibt draußen" thing.

aww :(

yeah...well here it seems acceptable for blacks to make jokes about whites...while whites are standing there...but not vice versa...In fact if you say a black joke with blacks around...you risk getting your ass beat.

Some people just cant take a joke.
Well if they prefer it to be done behind their backs, fine.

Well if they prefer it to be done behind their backs, fine.

lol...exactly.... :D

*cackles*

What do you call a black man driving a plane?

(A pilot you racist!):D



hahahahahaha

Better:
What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill?
--An avalanche.
What do you call a bunch of black people running down the hill?
--Mudslide.
What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down the hill?
--Jailbreak.

Random question: Who here thinks Hillary Clinton's the Anti-Christ?

Overheard id New York

Woman: Oh god, I hope nobody takes that out of context.
Man: Takes what out of context?
Woman: A thing I just thought.

This website is great... just found it looking for jokes.
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/2006_02.html

Kinda old, but still good.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead wreck their cannoe on a small island roughly 2 miles from the mainland. Rather than spend the night and wait for a rescue, they decide to bite the bullet and swim for the mainland. The brunette makes it no problem, as does the redhead. Unfortunately the blonde gets tired halfway to the shore, and swims back to the island.

What's wrong with this picture?

No. Blonde jokes are sexist.

No. Blonde jokes are sexist.

Eh?

yeah...well here it seems acceptable for blacks to make jokes about whites...while whites are standing there...but not vice versa...In fact if you say a black joke with blacks around...you risk getting your ass beat.

Some people just cant take a joke.

Nah, I'm fine with, em. Then again, I'd make more sense if I was Asian, so meh.

Eh?
Some people think all blondes are women I guess. :confused:

Some people think all blondes are women I guess. :confused:

What am I...a myth? lol.

What am I...a myth? lol.
You and all the other male blondes out there. Oh well, let AnarchyeL live their little fantasy. :p

Hrmmm though if you think of it all the blonde jokes are usually about women...so they are kind of sexist.

You and all the other male blondes out there. Oh well, let AnarchyeL live their little fantasy. :p

Hrmmm though if you think of it all the blonde jokes are usually about women...so they are kind of sexist.

Lol...maybe THATS what he was getting at...and we are just freaking retarded?

Some people think all blondes are women I guess. :confused:

No, but the "humor" of the blonde joke is premised on the stereotype that blonde women are airheads/sluts/etc. If there are male blonde jokes, they are certainly the exception to the rule.

The "blonde" stereotype serves as a cultural stand-in for the sexist stereotype. People who tell blonde jokes defend themselves by saying "we're not picking on women, we're picking on blondes."

Disguised sexism is still sexism.

They are not funny.

I have one, why did the red-head make blond jokes? Beacuse he thought he was funny.

No, but the "humor" of the blonde joke is premised on the stereotype that blonde women are airheads/sluts/etc. If there are male blonde jokes, they are certainly the exception to the rule.

The "blonde" stereotype serves as a cultural stand-in for the sexist stereotype. People who tell blonde jokes defend themselves by saying "we're not picking on women, we're picking on blondes."

Disguised sexism is still sexism.

They are not funny.
Yes, I realised this is what you meant. :p And I agree, both because I find stereotyping people with such a beautiful hair colour dumb, and because of its misogynistic undercurrents.

Lol...maybe THATS what he was getting at...and we are just freaking retarded?
Well my excuse is that I haven't slept all night...yours ? :p

No, but the "humor" of the blonde joke is premised on the stereotype that blonde women are airheads/sluts/etc. If there are male blonde jokes, they are certainly the exception to the rule.

The "blonde" stereotype serves as a cultural stand-in for the sexist stereotype. People who tell blonde jokes defend themselves by saying "we're not picking on women, we're picking on blondes."

Disguised sexism is still sexism.

They are not funny.

P.C. Police!! P.C. Police!!

Who cares...its still a fucking joke. At the end of the day...Blondes, Jews, Christians, Blacks, Catholics all go home laughing...because they are just jokes...get over it.

Well my excuse is that I haven't slept all night...yours ? :p

Eh....I was playing basketball real late last night...and woke up early this morning.

P.C. Police!! P.C. Police!!

Who cares...its still a fucking joke. At the end of the day...Blondes, Jews, Christians, Blacks, Catholics all go home laughing...because they are just jokes...get over it.
Call the Care Police too. :p

If someone doesn't mean them as a joke though, well that is an entirely different story...

Eh....I was playing basketball real late last night...and woke up early this morning.
Ja, that should do it. :p

Call the Care Police too. :p

If someone doesn't mean them as a joke though, well that is an entirely different story...

I've never heard a blonde joke not used in joke form before...seriously.

Who cares...its still a fucking joke.

Why is "it's just a joke" an excuse for perpetuating sexist stereotypes?

I've never heard a blonde joke not used in joke form before...seriously.
I mean when people use them deliberately to offend...some do. Although it's a rather thinly veiled attack.

Why is "it's just a joke" an excuse for perpetuating sexist stereotypes?

Because it's funny...Like fart jokes (b^_^)b

I've never heard a blonde joke not used in joke form before...seriously.
Closest that I can think of is when someone refers to doing or saying something stupid as "blonde moment". It's still used as a joke, though. I don't think there's a great deal of hatred out there for blondes.

Why did the blonde nurse take a red marker to work?
-- In case she had to draw blood.

Because it's funny.

So?

Some young idiots recently decided that it would be "funny" to burn down some churches. Clearly, that is no excuse.

Thus "it's funny" is not, in itself, an excuse for harmful behavior. Try again.

So?

Some young idiots recently decided that it would be "funny" to burn down some churches. Clearly, that is no excuse.

Thus "it's funny" is not, in itself, an excuse for harmful behavior. Try again.

You forgot the "Like fart jokes" part. Besides, that was funny to themselves, not other people, see?

So this blonde is tired of all theses blonde jokes so she decides she is going to prove she isnt stupid by painting her house while her husband is at work.So her husband comes home and sees her passsed out on the floor with sweatshirt and ski jacket on. He says "Honey, what were you doing"
and she replies "I wanted to prove blondes arnt stupid"
"Ok...but why do you have on two jackets" he asks
"because the paint can says 'for best results put on two coats" she answers

You forgot the "Like fart jokes" part. Besides, that was funny to themselves, not other people, see?
That just means you have more idiots to laugh with you.

So?

Some young idiots recently decided that it would be "funny" to burn down some churches. Clearly, that is no excuse.

Thus "it's funny" is not, in itself, an excuse for harmful behavior. Try again.
Is it harmful though if the person telling the joke has no belief in its validity (it being a joke after all) and the person being told it realises this?

What should you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?

Run like hell, she's got a grenade in her mouth.
-------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde and redhead are in an elevator, when they're joined by a handsome man. About halfway up, he scratches his head. The redhead leans over and whispers to the blonde "Someone should give that guy Head & Shoulders, huh?" The blonde responds "OK, but how do you give shoulders?"

That just means you have more idiots to laugh with you.

Exactly, the majority of humanity seems to be idiots, so it works right. ^_^

How about...brunette jokes. Or red hair jokes. Or none whatsoever.
Hey - you don't joke about either of those, especially because brunettes are 10x hotter than blondes, and redheads 10x hotter than brunettes :D

Hey - you don't joke about either of those, especially because brunettes are 10x hotter than blondes, and redheads 10x hotter than brunettes :D
Purely subjective opinion, I assure you. ;)

Is it harmful though if the person telling the joke has no belief in its validity (it being a joke after all) and the person being told it realises this?

If the stereotype means nothing to either of them; if, in fact, they think it is completely wrong... then why would it be funny?

If the stereotype does not matter to the joke, then presumably it would be just as funny to tell the joke replacing "blonde" with any other word denoting a group of people. But clearly, that would not make any sense in the context of the joke: the whole point is to play on the stereotype.

Thus, both the teller and the laughing listener support the stereotype, even if they will not admit to it.

Purely subjective opinion, I assure you. ;)

I agree on the part of the red-heads.

If the stereotype means nothing to either of them; if, in fact, they think it is completely wrong... then why would it be funny?

If the stereotype does not matter to the joke, then presumably it would be just as funny to tell the joke replacing "blonde" with any other word denoting a group of people. But clearly, that would not make any sense in the context of the joke: the whole point is to play on the stereotype.

Thus, both the teller and the laughing listener support the stereotype, even if they will not admit to it.
To a certain degree, yes. However, if you take it this far, the vast majority of jokes are stereotypical and offensive, and so if you were laughing, it would be at the person who told them, rather than with them. I find blonde jokes funny because of how ridiculous they are, not because I maintain the stereotype in any way.

Exactly, the majority of humanity seems to be idiots, so it works right. ^_^

The idiocy of other people does not justify one's own, any more than the racism or sexism of others justifies being a racist or a sexist.

If the stereotype means nothing to either of them; if, in fact, they think it is completely wrong... then why would it be funny?

If the stereotype does not matter to the joke, then presumably it would be just as funny to tell the joke replacing "blonde" with any other word denoting a group of people. But clearly, that would not make any sense in the context of the joke: the whole point is to play on the stereotype.

Thus, both the teller and the laughing listener support the stereotype, even if they will not admit to it.

Well then, without streotype, we'd have no humor, and Comedy Central would be out of business. Go stereotypes!

I agree on the part of the red-heads.
I am co-defending both blondes and brunettes :p

The idiocy of other people does not justify one's own, any more than the racism or sexism of others justifies being a racist or a sexist.

Who needs to justify being and idiot, eh? Most of the world goes fine without. :D

P.S. Wanna buy some cyber fruit?

To a certain degree, yes. However, if you take it this far, the vast majority of jokes are stereotypical and offensive,
I disagree. Do you have evidence to support this claim?

and so if you were laughing, it would be at the person who told them, rather than with them.
You're stretching, and I suspect you are being intentionally disingenuous. People who tell these jokes tell them because their listeners enjoy them, and their listeners like the people who tell them. You are laughing with them, and they continue to maintain their stereotypes and to invent new jokes because you reward them for it.

I find blonde jokes funny because of how ridiculous they are, not because I maintain the stereotype in any way.

Then why does it have to be "blondes"? If the joke is funny for pure ridiculousness, exclusive of the stereotype, why is it not as funny to tell the same joke about, say "bearded men"?

Moreover, if you think the stereotype is ridiculous, you should not reward it with your laughter and appreciation.

I disagree. Do you have evidence to support this claim?

Watch Comedy Central?


You're stretching, and I suspect you are being intentionally disingenuous. People who tell these jokes tell them because their listeners enjoy them, and their listeners like the people who tell them. You are laughing with them, and they continue to maintain their stereotypes and to invent new jokes because you reward them for it.

Well, it's good to make people laugh, deserves some reward, no? (b^_^)b


Then why does it have to be "blondes"? If the joke is funny for pure ridiculousness, exclusive of the stereotype, why is it not as funny to tell the same joke about, say "bearded men"?
.

You act as though blonde jokes are the only kind. We've got black, asian, mexican, jews, rednecks, men, women, etc...

Insert *get off your high horse* picture.

Moreover, if you think the stereotype is ridiculous, you should not reward it with your laughter and appreciation.

I disagree. The best way to deal with a stereotype is to laugh at it, show that you really don't think it's serious. If you keep getting angry at it, people think that there must be some truth to it, or else you wouldn't be threatened enough by it to get angry.

I disagree. Do you have evidence to support this claim?
To be honest, no, but neither do I spend most of my time reviewing whether jokes are based on stereotypes or not. That said, you could still stretch an argument to say that one is, even if it seemingly isn't.


You're stretching, and I suspect you are being intentionally disingenuous. People who tell these jokes tell them because their listeners enjoy them, and their listeners like the people who tell them. You are laughing with them, and they continue to maintain their stereotypes and to invent new jokes because you reward them for it.
Usually if they perpetuate it and go on for too long, I will begin to find the situation idiotic, and then I will let them have it. Even, and especially, if I like the person telling the joke. I have done so on numerous occassions. I am not being disingenuous.

Then why does it have to be "blondes"? If the joke is funny for pure ridiculousness, exclusive of the stereotype, why is it not as funny to tell the same joke about, say "bearded men"?
I never said it to be limited to blondes.

Moreover, if you think the stereotype is ridiculous, you should not reward it with your laughter and appreciation.
I will laugh, yet I will also point out why I think the joke to be idiotic. I am not entirely serious all the time, neither am I humorless.

Insert *get off your high horse* picture.
I prefer to poke the horse incessantly
By which I mean, not be serious at all until she explodes or something...She thinks I'm serious doesn't she?

Watch Comedy Central?
Well, I watch "The Daily Show"... and I do not think that many of their jokes are premised on maintaining group stereotypes. (Undeniably some, but it would be the minority. Perhaps one of us should engage in a quantitative study to discover a precise number?) I also watch plenty of network sit-coms, and I find that little of their humor is premised on derogatory stereotypes.

I am aware of some comedians who work almost exclusively in stereotypes, but they appear to be a (perhaps very vocal) minority.

Well, it's good to make people laugh, deserves some reward, no?Making people laugh is a good thing, yes. But in particular cases its benefits need to be weighed against the harm that it caues or perpetuates.

You act as though blonde jokes are the only kind. We've got black, asian, mexican, jews, rednecks, men, women, etc...
I only emphasize blonde jokes because they are the topic of this thread. The rest are equally objectionable.

I disagree. The best way to deal with a stereotype is to laugh at it, show that you really don't think it's serious. If you keep getting angry at it, people think that there must be some truth to it, or else you wouldn't be threatened enough by it to get angry.
People have been laughing at stereotyping jokes for centuries, and it does not seem to have reduced the acceptability and prevalence of the stereotypes.

Some people finally got really angry about such stereotypes, and said so publicly, within the last several decades. The stereotypes, and the discrimination that accompanies them, have been dealt a severe blow.

The empirical evidence seems to be on the side of "anger works, laughter doesn't."

Well, I watch "The Daily Show"... and I do not think that many of their jokes are premised on maintaining group stereotypes. (Undeniably some, but it would be the minority. Perhaps one of us should engage in a quantitative study to discover a precise number?) I also watch plenty of network sit-coms, and I find that little of their humor is premised on derogatory stereotypes.

Eh, daily show's more for the politics I suppose....


I am aware of some comedians who work almost exclusively in stereotypes, but they appear to be a (perhaps very vocal) minority.

Yay Carlos Mencia?

Making people laugh is a good thing, yes. But in particular cases its benefits need to be weighed against the harm that it caues or perpetuates.

Said harm being?

I only emphasize blonde jokes because they are the topic of this thread. The rest are equally objectionable.
*poke poke* But if they're all equal, then is it really racist/sexist/blankist?

People have been laughing at stereotyping jokes for centuries, and it does not seem to have reduced the acceptability and prevalence of the stereotypes.

Some people finally got really angry about such stereotypes, and said so publicly, within the last several decades. The stereotypes, and the discrimination that accompanies them, have been dealt a severe blow.

The empirical evidence seems to be on the side of "anger works, laughter doesn't."

Last several decades? Huh? what's this about exactly?

This Blonde gets tired of all the jokes and decides to dye her hair. She heads out the first day as a brunette feeling confident and bright. She passes a car dealership and a convertable in the showroom window catches her eye. She heads inside and two hours later she's driving off in the convertable. Not only was she not taken advantage of but besides getting the car for less than the dealers cost she gets them to throw in two years of free maintanence.

Feeling empowered and highly intelligent she sets off for a nice drive in her new car in the countryside. On a small country road she has to stop for a large flock of sheep to cross the road. As she sits and waits she decides to test her new intelligence on the shepherd. She tells him "If I can guess how many sheep are in your flock, will you give me one of them?" The shepherd is amused and fairly confident there was no way she could come up with the right number, even if she tried to physically count the milling flock, so he says "Why not..." The now ex-blonde scans the flock quickly and without hesitation says "352".

The shepard is dumbfounded, she was right! So being a man of his word he tells the woman to take her pick of the flock. She gets out of her car and looks through the sheep and finally settles on the the one she thinks is the friendliest and most playful. She loads the animal into the car and settles back in her seat waiting fro the flock to clear the road.

The shepherd looks thoughtfully at the woman and finally says to her " If I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back?"

People have been laughing at stereotyping jokes for centuries, and it does not seem to have reduced the acceptability and prevalence of the stereotypes.

Some people finally got really angry about such stereotypes, and said so publicly, within the last several decades. The stereotypes, and the discrimination that accompanies them, have been dealt a severe blow.

The empirical evidence seems to be on the side of "anger works, laughter doesn't."

That doesn't really seem to be evidence to me. I've been the butt of stereotypical jokes, and getting angry never worked. The only way bullies backed off was if I laughed with them. Laughing with a person puts you on the same level as them, and that defeats the purpose of a stereotypical joke, to put someone below you.

Besides, just because you stop someone from cracking a stereotypical joke doesn't mean you've hurt the stereotype. All you've done is taught them that if they joke about blondes, or Mexicans, or Canadians, they'll get yelled at, so it's better to just think it.

I have a suggestion: To stop making some posters uncomfortable about all these blonde jokes, how about we change the word 'blonde' in each joke from now on to...oh, I don't know,....how about 'AnarchyeL'?

How can you tell that AnarchyeL has been using your computer?
--There is white-out all over the screen.