NationStates Jolt Archive

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?

Well according to the episode of Bottom I'm watching right now, sex pheromone spray is the ticket. But I don't really believe it...

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."
*vomits*

Well according to the episode of Bottom I'm watching right now, sex pheromone spray is the ticket. But I don't really believe it...
your a retard your not funny you have to minipulate the women get them to think your nice

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?

I'd make sure she had brown eyes first. Some girls get bent out of shape if you tell them they have brown eyes, when really their eyes are blue.

Apparently.

Well according to the episode of Bottom I'm watching right now, sex pheromone spray is the ticket. But I don't really believe it...

I've seen it, it doesn't work for them.

"Hello birds."

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?
is she a nice girl? if so thats the ticket if shes a bitch your ass is grass

blue eyes are hot

i can see it noe blonde hair and blue eyes

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?none of the above..

but you should still do it

I've seen it, it doesn't work for them.

"Hello birds."
Yeah, it didn't work for them. But it had such a glowing review in the Karachi Medical Gazette...Eddie's terrible, but Richie's just awful. However I did like the line,

"Pick me - I'm a love albatross!"

Yeah, it didn't work for them. But it had such a glowing review in the Karachi Medical Gazette...Eddie's terrible, but Richie's just awful. However I did like the line,

"Pick me - I'm a love albatross!"
the guy i am quoting is on drugs dont listen to him he has probably never had a girl friend

from what i've seen the way to get a woman is to lie, manipulate, and force yourself onto them. they'll love you for it. unfortunately, i'm not really capable of any of those things.

if you can't tell, i'm very bitter.

wait for her by her car after an evening class, say hi, you've been waiting to talk to her one on one, and when she smiles, force her into your van and rape her.:sniper:

wait for her by her car after an evening class, say hi, you've been waiting to talk to her one on one, and when she smiles, force her into your van and rape her.:sniper:LOL

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?
no dub.

lines only work if you are smooth.

you arent smooth

try talking to her.

like she was a human being

Sounds like a good way to get forumbanned.

from what i've seen the way to get a woman is to lie, manipulate, and force yourself onto them. they'll love you for it. unfortunately, i'm not really capable of any of those things.

if you can't tell, i'm very bitter.
that is what i am talking about this guy is a brilliant person anipulation all the way

LOL

i'm so happy someone, even the first one, saw that this was not a serious reply.

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?

Do you actually think she has the prettiest pair of brown eyes?

If you can be sincere, that's probably going to carry you a lot further than any number of 'lines'.

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?

The best way to get a woman is to not take the advice of a bunch of 13 year old virgins in an internet forum. Or the 40 year old virgins either.

the guy i am quoting is on drugs
Yes, he is.
dont listen to him
Don't worry, they never do.
he has probably never had a girl friend
That's a sucker bet. Keep it up and you'll find out why.

The best way to get a woman is to not take the advice of a bunch of 13 year old virgins in an internet forum. Or the 40 year old virgins either.
for your information i am 11

Provide the booze.

The best way to get a woman is to not take the advice of a bunch of 13 year old virgins in an internet forum. Or the 40 year old virgins either.


i'm a 48 year old non-virgin with two kids to prove it heh and i'm here to tell you the easiest way to get laid is to tell a woman the truth. be brutally honest, even from the start. anything less insults her and yourself.:headbang:

Yes, he is.

Don't worry, they never do.

That's a sucker bet. Keep it up and you'll find out why.

shut up go get a brain you are the dumbest person i met here................
so far that is:upyours:

with two kids to prove it :headbang:

sorry, i forgot to mention that my kids are probably older than all of you....

sorry, i forgot to mention that ....
...i am very drunk.

sorry, i forgot to mention that my kids are probably older than all of you....

I'm 29, and I'm an old fogey here. That makes you mother earth.

I'm 29, and I'm an old fogey here. That makes you mother earth.

Make that Father Dirt, thank yew.

shut up go get a brain you are the dumbest person i met here................
so far that is:upyours:
That 'up yours' smiley has always caught my interest... and I finally know why; it looks very much like the cartoon style of the program 'Kevin Spencer', specifically, it looks very much like Kevin's dad, Percy.

And that's why I can never take that smiley personally. It just makes me laugh.

This may be one of the most pathetic threads I’ve seen in a long time.

sorry, i forgot to mention that my kids are probably older than all of you....
I'm 37. 37 and stoned.

I'm 37. 37 and stoned.


Pass that gage this way ace, and yes, this is a very sorry thread if i come out of the cave to participate.

Ask her if she likes animals, if she says yes, ask her if she wants to see your trouser snake. Things just work out from there. However, if she doesn't like animals, be carefull, trouser snakes are pretty much domesticated animals and not very good at defending themselves.

ask her if she wants to see your trouser snake.

laughing my azz off here....:p

This may be one of the most pathetic threads I’ve seen in a long time.

And yet, in only about 30 posts, you've felt the need to enter the thread and 'comment' (I use the term loosely) twice, about how pathetic it is...

I'd say that makes some kind of comment, but I just don't want to go there.

Yes, you could tell her that, as long as you follow it quickly with a "too bad you're so annoying." Then she'll be trying to be nice to you.

This may be one of the most pathetic threads I’ve seen in a long time.
Nah, I've seen worse.

This may be one of the most pathetic threads I’ve seen in a long time.


Youre just mad because no one ever tried to take your notebook.


@Dubya

I've always been a sucker for a guy with a witty sense of humor. If she is taking your notebook and doing little flirty things like that, sounds like she's got a bit of fun in her, so tap into your clever funny side, and smile when you make contact with her....even if you dont say a word, a smile goes a long way.:)

Youre just mad because no one ever tried to take your notebook.


@Dubya

I've always been a sucker for a guy with a witty sense of humor. If she is taking your notebook and doing little flirty things like that, sounds like she's got a bit of fun in her, so tap into your clever funny side, and smile when you make contact with her....even if you dont say a word, a smile goes a long way.:)

Hey Peechland, do you like animals?

Hey Peechland, do you like animals?


I do....I love animals. Unfortunately I'm allergic to cats, dogs and horses. I've had pets all my life so I just suffer through it. I take medicine every day and I wash my hands thoroughly after petting the animals. I'd have a whole farm/zoo if I could.

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?

Listen, if she's interested, she's interested. Ask her to do something with you, it doesn't really matter what it is. The point is to get alone and talking with her one on one. Save the 'prettiest pair of brown eyes' stuff for later, if you use it at all. You might make a fool of yourself for saying it, but it can't hurt to say it if you've already convinced her to be alone with you somewhere. (And that particular line may be somewhat silly, but it's the sentiment that counts. She may take it as you trying to be funny, although that may be unintentional, and humour goes a long way.)

Don't worry about these other jack-asses. It's better to act then to listen to a bunch of braying morons.

I do....I love animals. Unfortunately I'm allergic to cats, dogs and horses. I've had pets all my life so I just suffer through it. I take medicine every day and I wash my hands thoroughly after petting the animals. I'd have a whole farm/zoo if I could.

Do you like snakes?

Do you like snakes?

I like to look at snakes.

And yet, in only about 30 posts, you've felt the need to enter the thread and 'comment' (I use the term loosely) twice, about how pathetic it is...

I'd say that makes some kind of comment, but I just don't want to go there.
I have failed to explain myself properly, then. Yes, I found the scene that unfolded in my mind concerning the OP’s plan to be vomit worthy.
I was referring to, what I perceived to be, a low quality in the replies as pathetic, and not the topic itself. Certainly, I have nothing against a fellow man’s quest to get laid.

I like to look at snakes.

O.O!? Meaning?

O.O!? Meaning?


Meaning I think they are beautiful creatures. I am a bit afraid to hold them though.

Meaning I think they are beautiful creatures. I am a bit afraid to hold them though.

They're all teasing you, sweety... there was a comment earlier in the thread about getting girls to 'play with your snake'...

They're all teasing you, sweety... there was a comment earlier in the thread about getting girls to 'play with your snake'...


Well what bastards.

At least we all know where I stand on snakes now.

At least we all know where I stand on snakes now.
Yeah, you don't like to pet them :D

Meaning I think they are beautiful creatures. I am a bit afraid to hold them though.

*GIGGLES RETARDEDLY*
*TRYS TO DELIVER PUNCHLINE*
*GIGGLES SOME MORE*

*GIGGLES RETARDEDLY*
*TRYS TO DELIVER PUNCHLINE*
*GIGGLES SOME MORE*

Well you led me into it. You asked if I like animals first. Then snakes. I was just being sincere you trickster you.

Don't worry about these other jack-asses. It's better to act then to listen to a bunch of braying morons.

Whoa. Wait a minute. Are you calling me a jackass moron?

Hmmm... two divorces and a life of broken hearts...

ok, listen to Mikesburg....

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman?
Pick up the phone and call a call girl.

How do you get dates without lying about being a surgeon and making commitments you have no intention of keeping, though?

Popular culture seems to put forward the theory that you can't get a date while still being ethical and principled, and that unethical, unprincipled men are the ones who get dates.

But there must be a way.

How do you get dates without lying about being a surgeon and making commitments you have no intention of keeping, though?

Popular culture seems to put forward the theory that you can't get a good date while still being ethical and principled, and that unethical, unprincipled men are the ones who get good dates.

But there must be a way.
Corrections in bold.

you'll never know what could've been unless you try...

*vomits*

hey, i would rather have you (a person whom i don't know, and probably don't want to know) vomit, then have her vomit.

Ask her if she likes animals, if she says yes, ask her if she wants to see your trouser snake. Things just work out from there. However, if she doesn't like animals, be carefull, trouser snakes are pretty much domesticated animals and not very good at defending themselves.

even i'm not tactless enough to do that.

That pick-up line, even if it is sincere, is utterly ridiculous. If she's taking your books, she's obviously interested in you, so just take her books instead and fool around with her a bit. And PLEASE don't use lines to try to impress a girl. I don't know what the success rates are, but they've NEVER worked with me or my friends.

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?


I find the thought in bold... distasteful. You may not be meaning to sound this way, but you're making her sound like an object to be possessed, rather than a human being to share with. You may want to take that sort of thing into consideration before you move forward.

I find the thought in bold... distasteful. You may not be meaning to sound this way, but you're making her sound like an object to be possessed, rather than a human being to share with.
You make that sound like a bad thing.

You make that sound like a bad thing.

Good. ;)

omg! none of you people are actually helping this kid..look take it from since I'm probably closest to your age group and know what your talking about(18) dont say that lame ass line its stupid corney and gay and she's gonna laugh at your face. just talk to her, and if you really want to ask her out, be upfront no lame "you have pretty eyes crap" I hate those.

omg! none of you people are actually helping this kid..look take it from since I'm probably closest to your age group and know what your talking about(18) dont say that lame ass line its stupid corney and gay and she's gonna laugh at your face. just talk to her, and if you really want to ask her out, be upfront no lame "you have pretty eyes crap" I hate those.
Seemed like the farthest thing from homosexuality possible to me.
A guy trying to pick up a chick and all.

meh.. thats your choice me I can go either way

I find the thought in bold... distasteful. You may not be meaning to sound this way, but you're making her sound like an object to be possessed, rather than a human being to share with. You may want to take that sort of thing into consideration before you move forward.

First, I agree with the above sentiment. If you are looking to get in her pants, then I have no advice.

If you are looking to get her interested in you, just be yourself. Acting like anything else is impossible to keep up, and even if you do manage to get her by acting like someone you're not, it won't last past 3 months (at least that's as long as ive ever seen anyone be able to keep up a facade)

If you want to tell her you think her eyes are pretty, then TELL HER. Women love compliments, generally, as long as they are sincere. And believe me, women can tell when you are just blowing sunshine up their skirts. (saying 'your eyes are beautiful' sounds more sincere than saying 'the most beautiful i've ever seen')

Give her the compliment when it comes to your mind or when it fits into the conversation. Don't try to make a big deal out of it. Put it on the level of 'gee this milkshake tastes good"

She is flirting with you when she steals your notebook. She is probably already interested and trying to get your attention. Why not ask her out somewhere to do something (be specific--movie, saturday, 7pm/beach sunday/ or whatever---much better than the generic "wanna go out with me?")

Then when you take her out, dish her the compliment.

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?

Compliment her. Do not put anything on, do not make a big deal of it, but do not squirm to dosown yourself from it.

It probably won't get you with her, but it might well make her day. If it goes further, then great.

I put your phraseology down to being young and therefore ineloquent in these matters.

"Originally Posted by HeyRelax
How do you get dates without lying about being a surgeon and making commitments you have no intention of keeping, though?"

A secret here, women fancy men out of all proportion. It is generally speaking, just the way they are.

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?

You will get no respect and adoration if you sound sincere. Much less if you sound like you are trying to be sincere, but failing. My advice is if you want to use the line turn it into a joke. Say the line sounding sincere, but then after say with a mischevous smile: "Now we've got that out the way, do you want to go to the cinema on sunday? I hear X is very good." And go from there :D

Note: This will only work on a girl with a sence of humour. Otherwise it fails miserably. But she sounds like she has a sence of humour, so go for it.

none of the above..

but you should still do it
Yes, you should. It's not about being foolish or gaining respect or admiration; it's about the little things you do, the small sweet things that tell her you're thinking of her. The eyes thing is a little cliche, but you could do worse. Then again, I'm the guy in the "friend zone." I hate me.

You will get no respect and adoration if you sound sincere. Much less if you sound like you are trying to be sincere, but failing. My advice is if you want to use the line turn it into a joke. Say the line sounding sincere, but then after say with a mischevous smile: "Now we've got that out the way, do you want to go to the cinema on sunday? I hear X is very good." And go from there :D

Note: This will only work on a girl with a sence of humour. Otherwise it fails miserably. But she sounds like she has a sence of humour, so go for it.
I assumed that was the only way to pull off something so cliche. You can trust this guy; he really does deserve the title of "the Wise."

no dub.

lines only work if you are smooth.

you arent smooth

try talking to her.

like she was a human being
But she's not a human being. Lines can work for us uncouth people. We simpely make it a mockery of you silver-tongued devils.:p

The best way to get a woman is to not take the advice of a bunch of 13 year old virgins in an internet forum. Or the 40 year old virgins either.
I'm an 18-year-old virgin, though, so I'm okay.:D

for your information i am 11

We kinda guessed from the grammar mistakes.

Talking text-speak on forums is a sure way not to get your posts taken seriously, you should try using some punctuation and capital letters, like they teach you in literacy class.

Or you could just call everyone retards and flip them the bird, that always goes down well.

i'm a 48 year old non-virgin with two kids to prove it heh and i'm here to tell you the easiest way to get laid is to tell a woman the truth. be brutally honest, even from the start. anything less insults her and yourself.:headbang:
Oh, right, this too. I forgot that most people aren't very honest. Honesty is always good: it doesn't make anyone expect something that won't happen.

This may be one of the most pathetic threads I’ve seen in a long time.
I don't know; I get into some pretty pathetic threads....:p

Youre just mad because no one ever tried to take your notebook.


@Dubya

I've always been a sucker for a guy with a witty sense of humor. If she is taking your notebook and doing little flirty things like that, sounds like she's got a bit of fun in her, so tap into your clever funny side, and smile when you make contact with her....even if you dont say a word, a smile goes a long way.:)
I know I'm mad. I'm posting in a thread that should prolly be dead now, and no one ever tries to take my notebook.:mad: :(

Well what bastards.

At least we all know where I stand on snakes now.
Peech, you're so naively innocent that it's adorable, yet so hilarious.:D

*GIGGLES RETARDEDLY*
*TRYS TO DELIVER PUNCHLINE*
*GIGGLES SOME MORE*
That went way too well; you must be a god.:D :D :D

even i'm not tactless enough to do that.
Yeah, I don't know about tact, but I've got way too much dignity to do that. Don't go with the trouser snake routine. It'll prolly only ruin things.

I find the thought in bold... distasteful. You may not be meaning to sound this way, but you're making her sound like an object to be possessed, rather than a human being to share with. You may want to take that sort of thing into consideration before you move forward.
Keep in mind that most people aren't very articulate and don't understand the concept of objectification.

NO NO NO. She is obvously already interested in you, ask her out. Take her someplace you like. If you tell her "I like you" or " you're beautiful" or You have pretty eyes" she will think you just want to get in her panties, even if that is all you want it's a sure fire way to fail. If she is as hot as you say she probably hears that from every guy that talks to her. You have to be casual when you ask her, like no matter what she says you don't care. Women love to be in control of the relationship so you have to act as though you don't give a shit. Be confident like you already know her answer is yes. do not pander or stammer or stutter or try to convince her why she should go out with you. just say

Hey I going <to wherever you want to take her> this weekend would you like to go? If you are talkative make it someplace quiet where you two can talk, if you are quiet take somewhere where you won't have to talk alot. a movie concert not the library

We kinda guessed from the grammar mistakes.

Talking text-speak on forums is a sure way not to get your posts taken seriously, you should try using some punctuation and capital letters, like they teach you in literacy class.

Or you could just call everyone retards and flip them the bird, that always goes down well.
Most eleven-year-olds on the internet aren't literate. They can barely manage to reach the keyboard to use the forty- or fifty-word vocabulary they have to share an absence of ideas based on their lack of experience. They're like anti-help...only worse.

NO NO NO. She is obvously already interested in you, ask her out. Take her someplace you like. If you tell her "I like you" or " you're beautiful" or You have pretty eyes" she will think you just want to get in her panties, even if that is all you want it's a sure fire way to fail. If she is as hot as you say she probably hears that from every guy that talks to her. You have to be casual when you ask her, like no matter what she says you don't care. Women love to be in control of the relationship so you have to act as though you don't give a shit. Be confident like you already know her answer is yes. do not pander or stammer or stutter or try to convince her why she should go out with you. just say

Hey I going <to wherever you want to take her> this weekend would you like to go? If you are talkative make it someplace quiet where you two can talk, if you are quiet take somewhere where you won't have to talk alot. a movie concert not the library
You waited all this time to make one decent post, didn't you?;)

quality not quantity, now if I could just follow my own advice

Speaking as a woman, she IS interested in you, because she is sending you signals. Be nice to her, smile, look her in the eye (but not for too long and be a scary weirdo) Say something that is true and honest. Dont just say 'you have pretty eyes' right out, save that for a time when you are looking into them after you have kissed and THEN say it if you really think she has. Say hello to her, hold the door open for her and be a gentleman without being 'a scary weirdo' about it. Just be honest and be yourself, thats all. If you get a chance to ask her out to see a movie or for a pizza or something then just do it, she wont bite you if you ask her in a non creepy non line way. (she might bite you later on if you ask real nice and things go well though...) Be who you are, that is the person whos book she is taking.

:D

I'll just modify stuff from another reply I wrote a few seconds ago....

Seriously. How many threads have there been like this?

You'd do a lot better with women if you stopped treating women as one big blob of a gender and started bothering to think of them as, you know, individuals

Different women like different things, have different views about relationships, want different things, have different standards and ways of behaving... You can't expect to just follow a set of simple guidelines about women because there are none. Just like there aren't any about men either. People aren't simple - they're complicated and a relationship will only work if you can put in the effort to try and make it work, and to do that you have to mould the relationship to what works best for you both.

This applies to starting a relationship - different things work for different people and they'll react differently to what you say. Some girls would like the line, some wouldn't. Some would prefer to get to know you first, some will have already decided based on initial attraction to you. You can't know unless you put yourself out there at first, and then start to get to know her and figure out how to treat her. Not how to treat women, but how to treat her.

Oh, and btw I would just like to raise the point that the way she's behaving around you doesn't necessarily mean she's interested in you in that way. She could be, but she could equally not be. Liking a guy and joking around with a guy doesn't mean being attracted to them.

try talking to her.

like she was a human being
Like a human being, you say?

Your bold new idea intrigues me, I would like t subscribe to your new fringe ideas.

The best way to get a woman is to not take the advice of a bunch of 13 year old virgins in an internet forum. Or the 40 year old virgins either.
"If you guys know so much about women, why are you sitting out in front of the Gas 'n Sip on a Firday night?"

...

"We choose to be here, man..."

i don't like the phrase "get women"

i'm no expert but i'm pretty sure there's no single method or technique, no tricks or manipulations you can (or maybe should) play to 'pick up chicks'. like the other thread round here at the moment - the guy who started acting an asshole around girls to get em in bed... that's just... not right.

to the OP: be yourself, just buck up the courage and ask her if she'd like to go for a coffee, or out for some drinks, and see if you hit it off at all. if things go well, go for a movie or something, i don't know - see what the two of you are interested in and might enjoy doing together... it could be anything like going to an art gallery together (for a random example). just be yourself - if you're anything but that you're lying to both her and yourself.

edit: my point being, don't try that line :p

Well according to the episode of Bottom I'm watching right now, sex pheromone spray is the ticket. But I don't really believe it...
hahaha hell yeah!! i love bottom! :p
*wafts armpit over face* :P

Youre just mad because no one ever tried to take your notebook.


@Dubya

I've always been a sucker for a guy with a witty sense of humor. If she is taking your notebook and doing little flirty things like that, sounds like she's got a bit of fun in her, so tap into your clever funny side, and smile when you make contact with her....even if you dont say a word, a smile goes a long way.:)
Ridiculously complex, but if you could pull it off, it'd be cool-

Buy a notebook, make mock ups of the notes so far but as if they where written by her as characterized when people do that, "I'm so and so, I'm so silly. I steal notebooks, blah blah, blah." When she steals it, pull out your real notebook. When she goes for that (and she will) say, "No, you have your notebook, see-it's got your notes in it."

Seemed like the farthest thing from homosexuality possible to me.
A guy trying to pick up a chick and all.
"Dude, you where kissing a girl. That's so gay!"
Curly, The Simpsons

Witt, Charm and a Sparkling personality.:) 3 things i am missing

Witt, Charm and a Sparkling personality.:) 3 things i am missing
For everyone else, fishing lures...

Having thought about it, you should learn to get things right the traditional way; by getting them wrong over and over again until it sinks in.

Having thought about it, you should learn to get things right the traditional way; by getting them wrong over and over again until it sinks in.
In all honesty, this is about right. I spent so much time trying not to avoid looking like I didn't know what I was doing when I was a kid that I never learned what I was supposed to be doing. When your older trying to conquer that learning curve is a bitch. And I never see the fuckers from high school that I was oh so afraid of looking silly in front of-burned a great trial and error period.

Lines are just that... lines. Unless you are the sort of guy who says that sort of thing to everybody you meet it will sound corny and fake... so don't even bother.

She obviously likes you as she is paying you attention. Talk to her, steal her notebook back. Try to find out what she is interested in doing. Ask her if she'd like to go and do something specific like coffee/movie/skating/whatever on a particular day.

She will either say yes or no, sometimes even a no might be followed by her suggesting another place or time.

Don't pretend to be something you are not either... if she does like you, she likes you because of the way you already are... so don't go changing.

Good Luck

For everyone else, fishing lures...
That or make sure their diet is high in Iron and then use a big Magnet.
Or Get them addicted to something when they are around you then whenever they are away from you they get a craving and suspect it is you.-Hopefully...

First, I agree with the above sentiment. If you are looking to get in her pants, then I have no advice.

no, no, no, she's not a sex object to me.

your a retard your not funny you have to minipulate the women get them to think your nice
the guy i am quoting is on drugs dont listen to him he has probably never had a girl friend
shut up go get a brain you are the dumbest person i met here................
so far that is:upyours:

Melloness follyy, you need to knock off the playground insulting. Try not to randomly insult people in a thread and we should all be better.

Until you two are comfortable around eachother and don't suffer from awkward 'silent' moments, don't go to places that force conversation. Library, coffee, art gallery, the park, your house. Do something that offers distractions, to prevent nervousness between the both of you, preferrably something that involves action. Rock climbing, hang gliding, white water rafting, paintball, scuba diving. Have fun, don't make it obvious that you're just trying to create a relationship. Be spontaneous, don't offer the same thing that every common guy does. Coffee --> dinner --> movie --> his place.

Well, I say just ask her out. If she says no, then nevermind, it happens. If she says yes, then JACKPOT!!!

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?
All of your ideas are wrong. Talk to her as a friend. Be casual and confident. Be yourself. Sugary romantic stuff at that stage would be creepy.

Seriously, how do you respond to "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."?

How to "get a woman"? Well they're all different so, there is no answer.

The best way to get women to be all over you is to be a gay man.

The second best is to pretend to be, and then tell them they're making you doubt your sexuality :p (I honestly know a guy who's been doing that. And it works!)

The best way to get women to be all over you is to be a gay man.

The second best is to pretend to be, and then tell them they're making you doubt your sexuality :p (I honestly know a guy who's been doing that. And it works!)

I find homosexuality to be revolting. I'm sorry, but this I could never do.

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?
No, but if you said, "Why do you tease me when I really like you a lot?", that might get her attention. :)

I find homosexuality to be revolting. I'm sorry, but this I could never do.
Well, sucks to be you, then. You'll have to get women the hard way.

Pretending to be gay's only about dressing nice and being sensitive and a good listener. It's not like you have to actually come near other men to send women the right vibe.

Well, sucks to be you, then. You'll have to get women the hard way.

Pretending to be gay's only about dressing nice and being sensitive and a good listener. It's not like you have to actually come near other men to send women the right vibe.

I consider myself fairly sensitive, and I can be a good listener when I want to be. Just because I'm straight doesn't mean that I don't have those qualities, you know...

No, but if you said, "Why do you tease me when I really like you a lot?", that might get her attention. :)
Oh, good one. Intense. But maybe too intense for such young people?

your a retard your not funny you have to minipulate the women get them to think your nice
wait for her by her car after an evening class, say hi, you've been waiting to talk to her one on one, and when she smiles, force her into your van and rape her.:sniper:
Go away, trolls! shoo! shoo!

trolls <-- :mp5:

Yes, you could tell her that, as long as you follow it quickly with a "too bad you're so annoying." Then she'll be trying to be nice to you.
That would be funny. I assume that Dubya is under 18? In that case I endorse this.

Certainly, I have nothing against a fellow man’s quest to get laid.
I like this quote. If I wasn't so adamantly conservative about my signature, I would put it there.

you'll never know what could've been unless you try...
Yeah, Flea (of RHCP) sings "it's better to regret something you did, than something ya didn't doooo"

She is flirting with you when she steals your notebook. She is probably already interested and trying to get your attention. Why not ask her out somewhere to do something (be specific--movie, saturday, 7pm/beach sunday/ or whatever---much better than the generic "wanna go out with me?")
Your post is good but I just want to highlight my disagreement with the "movie date". Films are entertaining, but they are of no social benefit because you can't talk to her during the movie. So you've wasted two hours of when you could have been getting to know her better.

The second best is to pretend to be, and then tell them they're making you doubt your sexuality :p (I honestly know a guy who's been doing that. And it works!)
I really cannot imagine this working. Pretending to be gay is just sad. And "you're making me question my sexuality"? Maybe it could lead to a one-night stand, but nothing more.

Well, sucks to be you, then. You'll have to get women the hard way.

Pretending to be gay's only about dressing nice and being sensitive and a good listener. It's not like you have to actually come near other men to send women the right vibe.
What? Dressing well and being sensitive is your idea of "pretending to be gay"?

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?

Hm.. You'd probably make her "aww" and thank you. But to get her to go out with you, you'd have to either ask her out first. OR keep complimenting her.

I consider myself fairly sensitive, and I can be a good listener when I want to be. Just because I'm straight doesn't mean that I don't have those qualities, you know...
Well, you can't be dressed properly unless you're either a gay man, or dressed by a gay man. So if you already have the two other qualities, all you need now is to find a tasteful gay friend and go shopping clothes with him.

How do you think the Fab Five worked their miracles?

What? Dressing well and being sensitive is your idea of "pretending to be gay"?
It's all being metrosexual is about. Well, that, and chest-waxing, but that's nto for wusses. Anybody saying otherwise has clearly never had his chest hair ripped off by hot wax.

Be mad sexy.


Oh, and abs. Ladies love the abs. We chant that during track when we have to do corework.

"GIRLS LOVE ABS! GIRLS LOVE ABS!"

If this doesn't apply to you, get rich. Quick.

Acne medicine will probably help, knowing this forum.


Deoderent too, I can smell you from here.

Deoderent too, I can smell you from here.

You can smell my BO, or the horrible stench of that "brown eye" comment I wanted to make?

Dude, be creative man... write her a note on the books she steals... duh.

Dude, be creative man... write her a note on the books she steals... duh.

she doesn't actually read the notebooks.

Start off assholish with the occasional disarming niceness. This will get girls in droves. Once you find the right one (this can be difficult), don't get nice right away. Give it about 6 months to a year, if she can take it. After that you can be as nice as you like and she will think that she changed you. She will appreciate it forever and think it's a miracle, and will rarely expect much else from you since you already made such a dramatic turnaround. This is the secret to a happy relationship: low expectations.

make her laugh!!!

make her laugh!!!

how?

I'm about at the point where I'm considering using a tranquilizer gun.

I'm about at the point where I'm considering using a tranquilizer gun.

awww...I'm sure alcohol will work very nicely too.

I'm about at the point where I'm considering using a tranquilizer gun.
Oh, here's an infaillible pickup line:

Hey, honey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Oh, here's an infaillible pickup line:

Hey, honey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

I don't get it. :(

What? Dressing well and being sensitive is your idea of "pretending to be gay"?
ROFLMAO!!!! Yeah. Ya gotta watch dem people dat dress up 'n shit. Dey prolly gay! :D

Oh, good one. Intense. But maybe too intense for such young people?
HUH? Have you heard the way some young people talk to each other lately?? :eek:

I don't get it. :(

It makes you pass out when you smell it. >.>

Telling her that her eyes (or any part of her for that matter) are pretty only works if it's spontaneous. If it even sounds rehearsed, it's not going to fly. Try being straightforward, that you like her and would like to get to know her better, suggest coffee and conversation. Treat her with respect.

Well, you can't be dressed properly unless you're either a gay man, or dressed by a gay man. So if you already have the two other qualities, all you need now is to find a tasteful gay friend and go shopping clothes with him.
Why do gay men have an aesthetic monopoly on style?

Oh no wait, they don't.

HUH? Have you heard the way some young people talk to each other lately?? :eek:
Well, I'm 19and I'm trying to imagine what it would sound like if I was a 15 y.o. girl. Intense. Kids want fun not seriousness.

It makes you pass out when you smell it. >.>

somehow, I get the feeling that line won't work.

I'm about at the point where I'm considering using a tranquilizer gun.
So it's back to post # 2 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10635153&postcount=2), then.

But I don't much believe it, either...

"Get" women? I've been alive for 35 years and I have yet to "get" any woman. They're all crazy.

Then again, men are stupid so it all evens out.

Get it?

I don't get it. :(
*sigh* I hope this is sarcasm

ROFLMAO!!!! Yeah. Ya gotta watch dem people dat dress up 'n shit. Dey prolly gay! :D
Nah, most are just pretending to be in order to get the women.

Why do gay men have an aesthetic monopoly on style?

Oh no wait, they don't.

I never pretended we did. Just because we invented something doesn't mean we're the only ones able to get it right! :p

But you have to face reality: straight guys with a real sense of aesthetics are very much fewer and farther between than gay ones. Probably cuz of that social constructs that guys shouldn't appreciate beauty and all. Well, except for women with large breasts, obviously.

Well, except for women with large breasts, obviously.

Amen to that.

I never pretended we did. Just because we invented something doesn't mean we're the only ones able to get it right! :p

But you have to face reality: straight guys with a real sense of aesthetics are very much fewer and farther between than gay ones. *snip*
Wow, that's a load of santorum.

Sheer numbers don't bear that assumption out. It seems to me that gay men are merely more vocal and flamboyant. Unless you're trying to tell me that all the cooks, tailors, designers and artists in the history of Western civilzation were all gay.

Wow, that's a load of santorum.

Sheer numbers don't bear that assumption out. It seems to me that gay men are merely more vocal and flamboyant. Unless you're trying to tell me that all the cooks, tailors, designers and artists in the history of Western civilzation were all gay.

Watch it. You're being politically incorrect.

Wow, that's a load of santorum.

Sheer numbers don't bear that assumption out. It seems to me that gay men are merely more vocal and flamboyant. Unless you're trying to tell me that all the cooks, tailors, designers and artists in the history of Western civilzation were all gay.

well, most of them were...

Watch it. You're being politically incorrect.

:upyours: to political correctness

well, most of them were...
Really? Any proof?

The best way to get a woman is to invite her home and have pretty much nothing. But, your home must look basically clean, though not overly so. Have an empty refridgerator except for an old jar of mustard. She will be moved to pity and her nest building instincts will imediately come into play. You will recieve gifts of food, curtains etc. along with a great deal of attention and concern.

Make her laugh a lot while she mother hens you. Women love men who are needy and make them laugh.

The best "line" is, "I would like to make love to you. May I?" She will blush and say "No!" but she will codgitate on it. When she says "No" act as if you are disinterested in the fact that she said "No" and change the subject so she doesn't feel pressured or embarrassed. Start a card game or some similar activity. If she comes back, the thrid time you ask, she will say, "Yes."

Watch it. You're being politically incorrect.
Like I care about that.

Look, wingnut, a zealot, even one you agree with, is still a zealot and dangerous as hell. The Left have their morons and so does the Right. Whether you're advocating rights and freedom for lab rats or nuking all of a country you don't like, you're still a complete tool.

The best way to get a woman is to invite her home and have pretty much nothing. But, your home must look basically clean, though not overly so. Have an empty refridgerator except for an old jar of mustard. She will be moved to pity and her nest building instincts will imediately come into play. You will recieve gifts of food, curtains etc. along with a great deal of attention and concern.

Make her laugh a lot while she mother hens you. Women love men who are needy and make them laugh.

The best "line" is, "I would like to make love to you. May I?" She will blush and say "No!" but she will codgitate on it. If she comes back, the thrid time you ask, she will say, "Yes."
Nice! You, sir, have sussed it.

But you have to face reality: straight guys with a real sense of aesthetics are very much fewer and farther between than gay ones.
I'm in an art college. There are 50 other guys in my year. I know pretty much all of them and only one is gay.

You're also implying that there is only one, or at least a very limited number of ways to dress that are stylish. You aren't accepting that there are straight men who think about what they wear, and have a style. Even if it doesn't agree with yours, does not mean that it isn't a style. Straight men tend not to proclaim it as much in pop culture as gay men do.

lines only work if you are smooth.

Or if you can carry off a goofy sort of thing and make it work. leads into the whole "make her laugh" outlook.

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?

That might work. Especially if it's totally out of the blue and completely unexpected. It's a toss up, either she'll think you're the sweetes guy around, or a total suck up, but at he very least, you'll know how she feels, and you'll have gotten over the 'should I, shouldn't I syndrome. It's always tough to declare your feelings when you're not sure if the feeling's mutual, but what have you got to lose? If she's not interested, you're at the same point as you are now, and if she is, well... ;)

I always think a movie on a first date is a really bad idea - sitting in the dark, not paying any attention to each other, or paying a little too much attention, and no communication. Try a picnic in the park, dinner's good too, the best thing is somewhere with food, she sounds playful, so somewhere she can be playful without making a fool of either of you, relaxed atmosphere, plenty of people around, a scene like that will make you both feel relaxed, and if nothing comes of it, it'll be like a day out at the park between two friends.

If you're not prepared to bear your feelings, ask her to join you, and maybe a couple of friends, for a game of bowling, a picnic, the local arcade, etc, somewhere relaxed, and you could discreetly make it known to her that you're interested - slightly prolonged eye contact, a cheeky little mischevious grin when she catches you watching her, offer to buy her something to eat/drink, and when you're talking to her, try to make casual contact - touch her hand when you're talking to her, etc, etc. That way you can judge whether she's interested back, without bearing your soul with the chance of being put down

If you have major personality and appearance challenges, as Dubya here seems to have, it helps to have a lot of money and great stuff.

Seen it work - can't say it was ideal, but it sure worked.

Of course, you're likely to get the shallow end of the personality pool by attracting them with money and stuff.

But the money and stuff might be fun in and of itself.

If you have major personality and appearance challenges, as Dubya here seems to have, it helps to have a lot of money and great stuff.
Where do you get this idea? I don't think he has declared any such challenges.

Wow, that's a load of santorum.

Sheer numbers don't bear that assumption out. It seems to me that gay men are merely more vocal and flamboyant. Unless you're trying to tell me that all the cooks, tailors, designers and artists in the history of Western civilzation were all gay.
Of course not all of them. But a whole damn lot were, and still are.Except maybe for cooks and chefs, I've never heard of there being a high proportion of gay men among those, but for the rest it's noticeably higher than the overall proportion of gay men in society.

The best way to get women is to try.


Really, the worst they can say is "No you creep, get away from me."

Also, don't reek of desperation, we can smell it and we don't like it.

The best way to get women is to be honest

The best way to get women is to be honest
This honestly is the best advice I've seen on this thread yet. Well, right after my advice of pretending to be gay, of course. This is almost as good.

Bah, do it like they do in Sweden. Get her drunk and **** her on the veranda.

Seriously though: Obviously she likes you, so just ask her to go bowling with you and a couple of both your and her friends. It's not a date, but it's better than nothing.

Really, the worst they can say is "No you creep, get away from me."

Also, don't reek of desperation, we can smell it and we don't like it.
Women are all individuals, maybe some do.

That said, I agree. Don't be desparate.

If you have major personality and appearance challenges, as Dubya here seems to have

um...no i don't.

Really? Any proof?

none at all, but michelangalo was bi. and what about all those greek statues of muscular (naked) men?

You dont get women, they get you. Then they totally bamboozle you into thinking you got them!

In Soviet Union, women get you!

Women are all individuals, maybe some do.
This is true, however I've never encountered a woman who liked it. I think the most generous would give a pity date to a desperate guy, but you can't get far on pity.

The best way to get women is to try.


Really, the worst they can say is "No you creep, get away from me."

Also, don't reek of desperation, we can smell it and we don't like it.
Yep--if you're a guy and you're desperate, there's no chase. The woman knows she can have you whenever she wants, and there's no intrigue to that.

I'd make sure she had brown eyes first. Some girls get bent out of shape if you tell them they have brown eyes, when really their eyes are blue.

Apparently.
We're weird like that.

And I would say the best way to get us is to blindfold us, and pull us kicking and screaming into a resteraunt with you, gag us, and force us to have dinner. That way, there's no fear of rejection!

The best way to get women is to try.


Really, the worst they can say is "No you creep, get away from me."

Also, don't reek of desperation, we can smell it and we don't like it.

No no no, the worst thing we can say is, "ahahahahahaahahahahahaha, you really thing, *gasp* you and me? ahahahahahahahahaha--Edmund, my strong, hulking boyfriend, come here and beat him up."

Yep--if you're a guy and you're desperate, there's no chase. The woman knows she can have you whenever she wants, and there's no intrigue to that.

Desperation and intrigue, I'm not sure that applies to everyone.

Should I give advice? Bad advice I can conjure:

Be natural and don't jump to the conclusion this girl likes you?
Follow this ad letre.

Be natural and don't jump to the conclusion this girl likes you?
Follow this ad letre.

I'll take that advice. She could be doing it out of sheer boredom.

No no no, the worst thing we can say is, "ahahahahahaahahahahahaha, you really thing, *gasp* you and me? ahahahahahahahahaha--Edmund, my strong, hulking boyfriend, come here and beat him up."


Wouldn't faze me. In reality, I'm Chuck Norris :D That sound you can hear is a roundhouse-related THWACK

Wouldn't faze me. In reality, I'm Chuck Norris :D That sound you can hear is a roundhouse-related THWACK

you're going to die soon **runs from the wrath of the One True Chuck**

In Soviet Union, women get you!
Well, I suppose that they were relatively egalitarian compared to the West prior to WWII.

No no no, the worst thing we can say is, "ahahahahahaahahahahahaha, you really thing, *gasp* you and me? ahahahahahahahahaha--Edmund, my strong, hulking boyfriend, come here and beat him up."
No that's just plain evil!

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?
Go here: http://www.blowmeuptom.com/ Sign up for the newsletter. Practice what he preaches. You'll be happier for it.

:cool:

No that's just plain evil!
We are quite cruel, aren't we?

And yes, we do do it for fun, you know. Although you may be thinking "she wants me," I'm usually thinking "nice shirt."

Go here: http://www.blowmeuptom.com/ Sign up for the newsletter. Practice what he preaches. You'll be happier for it.

:cool:
SPAM DANGER ALERT!

And yes, we do do it for fun, you know. Although you may be thinking "she wants me," I'm usually thinking "nice shirt."
You have people beaten up for fun?

http://www.ohiocitizen.org/campaigns/electric/2004/excellent.jpg

We are quite cruel, aren't we?

And yes, we do do it for fun, you know. Although you may be thinking "she wants me," I'm usually thinking "nice shirt."

right, that's probably what my situation is like. On the other hand, i always wear flannel, red-neck shirts, so it must be the shoes or something.

It’s like Duckman said: “then I did something I’d never done with a woman before; I listened to her.”

You just have to try you luck. If she’s interested in you she’ll be receptive to you until you become uninteresting (see repulsive). Ask her about things and make some time to go have coffee or something. There’s no need to actually ask someone to be your girlfriend or date, but you do have to do some of the organizing to allow for that to happen.

It’s like Duckman said: “then I did something I’d never done with a woman before; I listened to her.”

You just have to try you luck. If she’s interested in you she’ll be receptive to you until you become uninteresting (see repulsive). Ask her about things and make some time to go have coffee or something. There’s no need to actually ask someone to be your girlfriend or date, but you do have to do some of the organizing to allow for that to happen.

you mean, like, take the initiative? :eek:

No, man, you gotta sit around and wait for her to get another boyfriend. Of course you have to take the initiative. Just compliment her until she gets sick of it and relents.

You should always take the initiative if you want to have a girlfriend anytime soon. I’d say that women actually do the initiating by making themselves receptive to your approach. After that you’re just auditioning for the part. Just don’t be a jackass when you’re auditioning for the part of Romeo that’s all.

No, man, you gotta sit around and wait for her to get another boyfriend. Of course you have to take the initiative. Just compliment her until she gets sick of it and relents.

well, if she gets sick of it, then maybe that's not really going to help me...

Sorry, metaphoric moment. Just make her feel special. Write her a song. Poetry is so romantic...

Sorry, metaphoric moment. Just make her feel special. Write her a song. Poetry is so romantic...
I disagree. She should be working to please him, not vice versa. Poetry is romantic when you're in a relationship already.

You should always take the initiative if you want to have a girlfriend anytime soon. I’d say that women actually do the initiating by making themselves receptive to your approach. After that you’re just auditioning for the part. Just don’t be a jackass when you’re auditioning for the part of Romeo that’s all.
Women ought to be more assertive, rather than just waiting for men approach them.

Well, I have several bits of advice, some serious, some less so. I'll let you judge which is which, and also which is any good, if any of it is.

1) Best way to get a woman? eBay. Problem solved. Hint: That was one of the less serious ones

2) Go with my general approach - naturally assume that you're not going to be the object of any particular interest. Nine times out of ten you'll be right, and because you're not expecting anything to come of anything it makes you much easier, socially, around the fairer sex (works for me at least). And that way, if she is interested in you, that comes as a much nicer surprise :) Also, teach yourself not to care about not being interesting - it'll do wonders for your self-esteem. Well, it'll prevent disasters happening to it, which is almost the same.

3) Following on from 2) - once you're sufficiently comfortable with girls, remember - being single is more fun most of the time! If you find the right girls then you can flirt around as much as you like, confident that they are of of fairly similar frame of mind to you and will respond appropriately!

4) Get drunk. Get others drunk. Pull random(ish) attractive women. Bulletproof.

5) Thai-bride - just make sure she's not secretly a man.

6) The standard 'don't ask this sort of question on an internet forum' response.

7) Sex panther. Stodies have proved it - 60% of the time it works... every time.

8) Rohypnol.

edit: ooh almost forgot the most vital one:

9) Get that post count up - once you're into 'deadly' or 'superior gamer' regions you instantly become irresistible. Honest. And don't be fooled by these false prophets who go around preaching that 'it's not the size of the post-count that counts, it's how you use it' :rolleyes: What deluded fools.

I disagree. She should be working to please him, not vice versa... Women ought to be more assertive, rather than just waiting for men approach them.

Yeah! Damn right! Why should we do all the work? :D:p

1) Best way to get a woman? eBay. Problem solved. Hint: That was one of the less serious ones


"There's somethings money can't buy. For everything else, there's mastercard"

So...do hookers accept mastercard?

Yeah! Damn right! Why should we do all the work? :D:p

Well, if you're an ugly bloke...

"There's somethings money can't buy. For everything else, there's mastercard"

So...do hookers accept mastercard?

Hmm. Well which slot would you insert it into?!:eek:

Woemn have more refined tastes. Thus unless you want to be stuck with Olga the ogre-esque woman it'd be better to try gentility. No offense to anyone out there named Olga.

Well, if you're an ugly bloke...

Then find an ugly woman :D

Woemn have more refined tastes. Thus unless you want to be stuck with Olga the ogre-esque woman it'd be better to try gentility. No offense to anyone out there named Olga.

Really? Oh that should be fine then - Dubya's only interested in women, not woemn - he finds homosexuality disgusting :p:D

(Sorry - couldn't resist it)

I disagree. She should be working to please him, not vice versa. Poetry is romantic when you're in a relationship already.


Women ought to be more assertive, rather than just waiting for men approach them.

I couldn’t agree more, but most people (men and women) like to fall back on traditional roles when it comes to dating, because most people are lacking in confidence to do anything more. A woman who initiates does turns off some guys, but then I think that they must have control issues to be bothered by that. A guy should be flattered to have a woman hit on them. I don’t think that most women realize how successful they would be if they initiated things.

Relationships in high school are nice but meaningless in the long run. Concentrate on your schoolwork. Get to a good college. Get a good career and make a name for yourself.

If that doesn't work, stuff your pants and tell her you've just inherited Microsoft. Or take over a small country. Women like men with money, power, and three foot poles.

Relationships in high school are nice but meaningless in the long run. Concentrate on your schoolwork. Get to a good college. Get a good career and make a name for yourself.

If that doesn't work, stuff your pants and tell her you've just inherited Microsoft. Or take over a small country. Women like men with money, power, and three foot poles.

How did you know I'm in high school? You work for the government, don't you?

Errr...will a two foot pole be enough?

Women ought to be more assertive, rather than just waiting for men approach them.
Except that in this case, he wants her, there's no indication that the attraction is mutual. It is also possible that maybe she's slightly interested but not interested enough to do anything about it, however will respond if he makes a move.

And bullshit on women waiting for men to approach them, most of the guys I've dated, I've done the asking for.

Except that in this case, he wants her, there's no indication that the attraction is mutual. It is also possible that maybe she's slightly interested but not interested enough to do anything about it, however will respond if he makes a move.

And bullshit on women waiting for men to approach them, most of the guys I've dated, I've done the asking for.

See, that's the thing: I don't know if it's mutual, so I've come to the conclusion that no, I won't say it.

You must have dated some pretty unusual men:p

Sorry, metaphoric moment. Just make her feel special. Write her a song. Poetry is so romantic...
This might just be me, but this always screams "Sta-lker." Especially when you're really only at the flirting stage.

Which, really, that's where this is at. She's flirting, flirt back. Goof around, have fun, keep it light. You'll either see the window or it won't be there.


EDIT: Think of it like fishing-if you yank back on the fishing pole (see that? anyway...) at the first tug (got a million of 'em) the fish gets spooked and you lose it. You need patience to reel it in, and that includes waiting to set the hook.

Or take over a small country. Women like men with money, power, and three foot poles.
Yup, after invading Poland Napoleon had lots of three foot Poles (and some taller ones too), and he got that Polish princess or whatever she was.

This might just be me, but this always screams "Sta-lker." Especially when you're really only at the flirting stage.

Which, really, that's where this is at. She's flirting, flirt back. Goof around, have fun, keep it light. You'll either see the window or it won't be there.


EDIT: Think of it like fishing-if you yank back on the fishing pole (see that? anyway...) at the first tug (got a million of 'em) the fish gets spooked and you lose it. You need patience to reel it in, and that includes waiting to set the hook.
that fishing analogy is the best advice i've gotten thus far:D

Yup, after invading Poland Napoleon had lots of three foot Poles (and some taller ones too), and he got that Polish princess or whatever she was.

umm...wrong poles.

umm...wrong poles.
What's wrong with Poles? Are you a Polist?

SPAM DANGER ALERT!
That wasn't spam. Its just better to get the right info directly from the horse's mouth.

:cool:

Using the word "pretty" instead of beautiful seems to have a good effect in England. :)

That went way too well; you must be a god.:D :D :D

Divine rank 5

even i'm not tactless enough to do that.

You will be comrade, you will be.

here's a question for you ladies out there: what's the best way to get a woman? is it to take her out to a dinner and a movie? to tell her how beautiful she looks? expensive gifts?

here's a scenario: there's a gorgeous babe in my math class who says hi to me pretty much every day, and does things to annoy me, like take my notebook. How would it sound if i said something like this: "Listen I want to tell you something. You've got the prettiest pair of brown eyes I ever did see."

would i make a fool out of myself by saying it, or would I get her respect and admiration?

you could just try conversation and then ask her out if you enjoy the conversation :eek: . flattery doesn't usually work - very hard not to be corny and most people don't know how to deal with it anyway.

wait for her by her car after an evening class, say hi, you've been waiting to talk to her one on one, and when she smiles, force her into your van and rape her.:sniper:

You're a perve. That's wrong and gross.:upyours: :upyours: :upyours: :mad:

you could just try conversation and then ask her out if you enjoy the conversation :eek: . flattery doesn't usually work - very hard not to be corny and most people don't know how to deal with it anyway.

If it was me that would work wonderfully. Also try going on walks if you can get past the conversation part.:)

If it was me that would work wonderfully. Also try going on walks if you can get past the conversation part.:)

Just one question: Are you, in fact, a female?

You will be comrade, you will be.

Only if I don't get a woman, in say, the next 3 years?

You're a perve. That's wrong and gross.:upyours: :upyours: :upyours: :mad:

He's also kidding (presumably). Incidentally, use of the up yours smiley is never a good thing. Doing so whilst still pretty newbie is even less so.

I couldn’t agree more, but most people (men and women) like to fall back on traditional roles when it comes to dating, because most people are lacking in confidence to do anything more. A woman who initiates does turns off some guys, but then I think that they must have control issues to be bothered by that.
I think that such attitudes are gradually dying out. I never held them.

A guy should be flattered to have a woman hit on them.
Why?

And bullshit on women waiting for men to approach them, most of the guys I've dated, I've done the asking for.
Good for you!

That wasn't spam. Its just better to get the right info directly from the horse's mouth.

So how is this email source an authority?

If it was me that would work wonderfully. Also try going on walks if you can get past the conversation part.:)
I once invited a girl for a walk and didn't talk to me again. Lazy woman, can't walk 12 km without having to complain.

what's the best way to get a woman?
Hit her over the head with a club and drag her back to your cave.
Ug assures me that that works everytime.

Hit her over the head with a club and drag her back to your cave.
Ug assures me that that works everytime.

Ug must be a very wise man, in that case.

So how is this email source an authority?

I'll have to thank Consiglioni for the defense when I see her ...

That wasn't an e-mail, it was a website. Leykis is an authority because he's lived through it, practices it and teaches it every week in a sindicated radio show. If you can, listen in on Thurdays.

:cool:

I once invited a girl for a walk and didn't talk to me again. Lazy woman, can't walk 12 km without having to complain.
i would suggest 12 kms is a bit much for a romantic (or any other sort of first (2nd/3rd/etc) date) walk!! a stroll along the boardwalk/beach/equivilant is plenty good enough unless you're wanting to date an avid hill-walker!

I'll have to thank Consiglioni for the defense when I see her ...

That wasn't an e-mail, it was a website. Leykis is an authority because he's lived through it, practices it and teaches it every week in a sindicated radio show. If you can, listen in on Thurdays.

:cool:

he seems like a drunkard and a womanizer. in other words, my favorite type of person.

Leykis is an authority because he's lived through it, practices it and teaches it every week in a sindicated radio show. If you can, listen in on Thurdays.

Rest assured, I will not.

Yup, after invading Poland Napoleon had lots of three foot Poles (and some taller ones too), and he got that Polish princess or whatever she was.

You win at life.

He's also kidding (presumably). Incidentally, use of the up yours smiley is never a good thing. Doing so whilst still pretty newbie is even less so.

Even if he is kidding, it's still annoying. Making jokes about rape encourages the idea that rape is funny, and it;s also laughing at the victim: think about it, you make a rape joke, it means you're laughing at rape... you're laughing at rape, it means you're laughing at someone who has been raped.

i would suggest 12 kms is a bit much for a romantic (or any other sort of first (2nd/3rd/etc) date) walk!! a stroll along the boardwalk/beach/equivilant is plenty good enough unless you're wanting to date an avid hill-walker!

Again, he may possibly have been joking :)

Even if he is kidding, it's still annoying. Making jokes about rape encourages the idea that rape is funny, and it;s also laughing at the victim: think about it, you make a rape joke, it means you're laughing at rape... you're laughing at rape, it means you're laughing at someone who has been raped.

Or it makes a mockery of the whole situation, lessening the awfulness of it all. Like any awful event in history, we seem to have a talent for making a joke of it.

An Army aquantance of mine had a great way to get women, granted it requires a M1A1 tank. In New Mexico there was a secluded gas station next to the plain wherst they were conducting training operations with said Abrams. This guy sees an atractive woman filling up and he decides him and his crew are going on a little field trip. They come driving across the desert, over the road and stop right in front of her. He pops the hatch and says something akin to "Would you like to test my 120mm cannon?" It worked, despite the horribly bad line. He went out on several dates with her until he found out she was engaged. oops.

He did some damage to the road as well.

Again, he may possibly have been joking :)



Or it makes a mockery of the whole situation, lessening the awfulness of it all. Like any awful event in history, we seem to have a talent for making a joke of it.

That's my exact point - it makes an awful crime seem less awful, therefore "more acceptable", when obviously rape is not acceptable

That's my exact point - it makes an awful crime seem less awful, therefore "more acceptable", when obviously rape is not acceptable

Or it makes the aftermath of it seems less awful, and therefore more bearable.

Relationships in high school are nice but meaningless in the long run. Concentrate on your schoolwork. Get to a good college. Get a good career and make a name for yourself.

If that doesn't work, stuff your pants and tell her you've just inherited Microsoft. Or take over a small country. Women like men with money, power, and three foot poles.
Well, it's good practice in the long run. Otherwise, you end up twenty-five, going out on a date with a guy/gal named Fllargh, petrified because you think they're about to kiss you, and you've never kissed someone romantically before.

Sorry, metaphoric moment. Just make her feel special. Write her a song. Poetry is so romantic...
Unless the poem is this:

I would like to talk to you some,
because you are pretty,
and maybe kiss you,
because you are pretty,
also, have wild monkey sex with you on the floor,
because you are pretty,
and maybe show you my toenail collection.

A net.

Unless the poem is this:

I would like to talk to you some,
because you are pretty,
and maybe kiss you,
because you are pretty,
also, have wild monkey sex with you on the floor,
because you are pretty,
and maybe show you my toenail collection.
Good poem. How's Edmund? ;)

Good poem. How's Edmund? ;)

He's doing quite well, thank you. And...Do I know you?