NationStates Jolt Archive

UN wakes up and kisses his America poster. "Good morning!" he says. He then rushes down stairs to eat a bowl of Jingo-os, a patriotic part of a complete breakfast...

You guys need to make up the rest.

Oh and UN, this is meant to be humorous, but not mean. Anyone who out right insults him viciously will be reported.

After his yummy breakfast he goes to the tv and turns on Fox News

He then gets up and kisses the toes of the giant George Bush statue he has installed in his room. He then refuses to listen to any reasoned argument against anything that he believes in. After all, reasoned argument could prove him wrong, and he wouldn't want that would he?

After which he sucks the dick on the statue, which ejaculates oil.

He then takes a dump and wipes his ass with toilet paper that has Osama Bin Laden's face on it (Actually I'd want to buy that.) He then pulls out an AK-47 and blows the turds to pieces. He then starts a little dance.

After which he sucks the dick on the statue, which ejaculates oil.
Watch it there. I said humorous, not mean.

Which gets him excited. So he goes off and rubs one out to a homemade video of American flags and brown people being tortured.

Watch it there. I said humorous, not mean.

Its really hard not to be mean with this guy. I thought I was quite restrained. I actually typed out the dick sucking stuff but then deletwed it. Wish I hadn't:rolleyes:

Its really hard not to be mean with this guy. I thought I was quite restrained. I actually typed out the dick sucking stuff but then deletwed it. Wish I hadn't:rolleyes:
i know, but if we go to far, this thread will get locked up. I've also done one making fun of Romulus Os.

i know, but if we go to far, this thread will get locked up. I've also done one making fun of Romulus Os.

Same bloke isn't it?

There is absolutely no way this won't get mean, and eventually be locked as a flame/trollbaiting.

But it'll be a fun ride.:p

Upon finishing his delicious bowl of "Jing-o's," he scrambles back up to his room, passing by his assembled collection of Photoshoped "George W. Bush and I" photos before re-entering his room, plastered in an American Flag Wallpaper, to put on his Uncle Sam costume which he wears almost every day (sometimes, on more casual days, he'll just wear a collection of red, white and blue t-shirts, shorts and shoes), making sure to pull his striped pants over his freedom boxers before strapping his "belt o' liberty" on.

Then yeee haaaah, lets go as far as we can!!

After sucking Shrubs dick, he thanks him for the oil - laden load he has deposited, then turns to Condi and assures her that even though shes a black woman, she'll be the next president. After leaving the room and laughing for two hours, he assures Cheney that he wont die before the next election being the old man that he is , and that every American is behind heim. And if not, we'll put a phone tap on them Big Brother - sorry Mr President.

there a knock at the door.
its a girl guide selling cookies, however she is not a WASP.
after checking her ID, and running the cookies through a poison detecting machine. he decides to buy 1000 (all her stock) for the price of 500. and then runs around the neighbourhood under cutting the other girl guides prices driving them out of business (new uniforms, and dollys for the sick are gone) whilst at the same time making a 6% profit

He sits down to begin playing video games in which he blows up schools, builds up a huge army, and tries to define George W. Bush in the Lord/Hero category (giving +5 Leadership to everyone within 48 inches of the figure). This failing, he puts on a pair of muddy shoes and walks over his carpet, depicting the face of Cindy Sheehan, to his computer.

He then logs ojn to NS and attempts to make sure everyone believes the US did everything. His arguments get utterly crushed by half the board, and he logs on as his puppet for more mischief.

sometimes, on more casual days, he'll just wear a collection of red, white and blue t-shirts, shorts and shoes
Those days are getting rarer as of late: UN attempts to disprove the existence of global warming by wearing padded clothes from August to June.

He then proceeds to get in his Modified Model T Ford, with an even less efficient engine, to go to church. Once there, he finds the preacher too liberal, so he shoots him and claims justified homicide. After a 5-minute delay, he begins giving the sermon in place of the preacher, speaking out against evolution and how the devil makes people think.

He leaves the church and decides he is hungry. He goes to a restaurant and orders a sub sandwich on "liberty" bread with a side order of "freedom" fries. He finishes up with an order of "justice" crepes. He meets his significant other and proceeds to "liberty" kiss her.

He then proceeds to slap himself soundly, realising that "liberty" shares its first five letters with "liberal", and performs an enema to rid his body of the foul liberal bread. He follows this up with vigorously scrubbing his SO with a soap shaped like a bald eagle and disinfecting the entire area.

He then proceeds to slap himself soundly, realising that "liberty" shares its first five letters with "liberal", and performs an enema to rid his body of the foul liberal bread. He follows this up with vigorously scrubbing his SO with a soap shaped like a bald eagle and disinfecting the entire area.

A crying bald eagle.

He loses the soap .. :eek:

He loses the soap .. :eek:

and squeals. Profusely