NationStates Jolt Archive

Veterans, in my opinion, are some of the greatest people in history. Such willingness to fight for your beliefs, why, that is worth a thousand salutes. Anti-war people, please don't post your anti-war stuff here. I respect your beliefs, but this is not the place for that. It is not a pro-war thread, it is a pro-troop thread. Also, current soldiers, please share any stories you have, too.

God Bless!

John.

You want nasty ones or funny ones?

When serving with the Royal Navy we had a stop over in Belize and one of the soldiers in a bar really pissed us off. We decided to get him back ny rigging his bed to explode. We set up the detonator so that when he layed down the legs would blow off the bed and dump him on the floor. Unfortunately he sat on the bed instead and got most of the bed legs imbeded in his calves.

You want nasty ones or funny ones?

When serving with the Royal Navy we had a stop over in Belize and one of the soldiers in a bar really pissed us off. We decided to get him back ny rigging his bed to explode. We set up the detonator so that when he layed down the legs would blow off the bed and dump him on the floor. Unfortunately he sat on the bed instead and got most of the bed legs imbeded in his calves.

Whoa...

I want all stories, it doesn't matter, violent or family-friendly, its all important.

You want nasty ones or funny ones?

When serving with the Royal Navy we had a stop over in Belize and one of the soldiers in a bar really pissed us off. We decided to get him back ny rigging his bed to explode. We set up the detonator so that when he layed down the legs would blow off the bed and dump him on the floor. Unfortunately he sat on the bed instead and got most of the bed legs imbeded in his calves.
So... Who have you met just throw himself on a bed from a distance?

So... Who have you met just throw himself on a bed from a distance?
what?:confused:

what?:confused:
He said that the victim of his prank sat down instead of going to sleep.

Once when I was Commander of a Counterinsurgency Operations Team working out of Song Be basecamp, Vietnam, the unit to which we were attached for pay and rations ( the 101st Airborne Division ) was moving out to another location. Since we had no support of our own and since the 101st was moving to a location outside our area of operations, our Team had to be relocated further South.

Most of my Team was able to get out on the same plane, but because of weight and space limitations not all of us could load on. As Team Commander, I didn't want to leave any of my people to wait for the next flight, so I stayed behind. I got a flight out the next day and flew into the Camrahn Bay military airport by way of about a dozen stops.

Camrahn Bay was a primary entry point for troops newly arrived in-country, so it was swarming with "newbies."

Now, you have to try and visualize this:

* I was a Captain at the time, with the rank insignia on the collar of my jungle fatigues. I had been at Song Be base camp, which was a true hellhole. They had simply bulldozed a swath of jungle to create the base camp, and the result was dust about a foot deep ... orange, fine-grained dust, that got all over and into everything.

* I had been without clean jungle fatigues or a shower for about five days, since the 101st took everything with them when they left, and was covered with layers of fine, orange dust.

* It was always hot, and I had been sweating every day I was there, so the fine, orange dust had caked everywhere my uniform had absorbed my sweat. It almost goes without saying that I stank to high heaven!

* I had my personal M-16 rifle slung across my back, my Chicom 9 mm pistol ( which is another story entirely ) in a holster on my left hip, an AK-47 one of my Team had been using slung over my back in the opposite direction from my M-16, and a .45 calibre submachine gun ( called a "Greasegun" ) hanging across my chest. In short, I looked like a frakking one-man Army!

When I got off the flight and walked into the terminal to find a ride to where my Team had relocated, there were about a thousand "newbies" filling the terminal. They were sitting around, or standing in small groups wearing brand new jungle fatigues and brand new jungle boots, none of which had ever before been worn. And here comes this refugee from "the wars!"

As I entered the terminal, those newbies nearest the door immediately stopped talking and stared at me ... and I mean wide-eyed, slack-jawed stared! Silence spread from that epicenter outward through the massive terminal like a wave. I could almost hear them thinking: "This guy looks like Audie Murphy after years and years of combat, and HE's a CAPTAIN! What the hell am *I* going to look like? OMG!"

It took me about four minutes to traverse the terminal, and you could have heard a pin drop the entire time!

i knew Eut would have a good story

i knew Eut would have a good story
LOL! Well, I don't know how "good" it was, but I enjoyed retelling it. :)

LOL! Well, I don't know how "good" it was, but I enjoyed retelling it. :)
And you tell it well. I can picture that so clearly as if it was a scene in a movie.

LOL! Well, I don't know how "good" it was, but I enjoyed retelling it. :)

Got anymore?

And you tell it well. I can picture that so clearly as if it was a scene in a movie.
And YOU have an impressive voice, particularly in German! :D

Thank you for the flowers. :)

Got anymore?
Lots. But many of them I don't feel comfortable telling on here, since they involve violence and the Mods tend to take a rather dim view of such things.

A marine friend of a friend has been unofficialy declared KIA three times and is still alive and well. The media just exagerates everything, he picked up a little scrapnel (essentualy he just had to go get himself checked out) and the media began displaying his name everywhere as being KIA. (This was in Iraq in 2003)

A bunch of army guys were screwing around with a washing machine and a frag grenade.

Some Navy SEALs, a M82A1 .50 Caliber Rifle and some sea birds.

Another group of army guys, a freeway, a "Speed Limit Enforced By Aircraft" sign and a Apache attack helicopter. (Wrote it off as low altitude manuvers) They scared the crap out of some speeders.

You want nasty ones or funny ones?

When serving with the Royal Navy we had a stop over in Belize and one of the soldiers in a bar really pissed us off. We decided to get him back ny rigging his bed to explode. We set up the detonator so that when he layed down the legs would blow off the bed and dump him on the floor. Unfortunately he sat on the bed instead and got most of the bed legs imbeded in his calves.
Lol! Did you get fired for that one?

And you tell it well. I can picture that so clearly as if it was a scene in a movie.
It's movie-worthy, cos he looked like Rambo!

It's movie-worthy, cos he looked like Rambo!
Rambo was a wuss! :D

Not a first hand story- but one which my father once relayed briefly to me.

On his second tour in Lebanon, he was out on evening patrol in a jeep with 3 others from his battalion.

The jeep was suddenly hit by some sort of small roadside bomb or a mine- took the jeep out and the radio too but luckily it injured only 1 of the patrol. They then came under fire from gunmen in the dark from all sides.

So, they had to return the nearest base across rough terrain, under fire, on foot and carrying an injured soldier... all at night.

After about an hour, hour and a half of constant harrassment from the militia and rotating/covering fire and carrying the wounded soldier, the incoming fire slackened.

Why?

Well, the militia began calling out at them in broken English.
Along the lines of:
"Who are you?"
'UNFIL'
"No, what group?" (i.e.country/battalion)
*pause*
"Irish Battalion"
*Long pause from militia*
"Sorry! We thought you were Dutch. You can go back to base now."

And they melted away in the darkness leaving a rather puzzled, frazzled and lucky UNFIL squad counting their blessings because of their home country!

Weird the way war works it's self out some times.

And YOU have an impressive voice, particularly in German! :D

Thank you for the flowers. :)

Right back atcha. http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/gen111.gif


Ahahaha *points* Look at it! ROFL! *wipes tear from eye*
I've been waiting to use this smiley for so long, I had to make this pointless post. Sorry.


But I guess a thread about war stories can use both laughter and flowers, so maybe it wasn't so pointless at all.

Rambo was a wuss! :D

Did you usually carry the '47 and the Greasegun Eut, or was that just because someone had left them behind and you were making sure they weren't left behind?

And what year was that?

Lol! Did you get fired for that one?


They couldn't prove it was us but the suspicion was there. I spent the trip back home as a cooks skivvy in the galley.;)

Heres another, this one is kind of nasty and funny.When serving onboard HMS London my mate Scouse earned the nickname Shagmonster because of his insatiable lust for prostitutes. However, after a visit ashore at Cadiz he picked up a rather nasty case of pubic crabs, and was forcibly seperated from the rest of us on board.

Scouse remained unperturbed, however, and upon arrival in Marseille (goodwill visit) he promptly set out for the nearest whorehouse with the retort that "I'll get her to suck the little fuckers out!".

I remained at the bar drinking whilst Scouse was being "entertained" upstairs. Then who should arrive but CPO Taylor, our senior man in the galley and all round bastard. Cue Scouse's arrival with a grin on his face and we carry on drinking. Ten minutes later we turn round to see Taylor french kissing the girl who'd just been hoovering up Scouse's crabs!

that one is hilarious :p , reminds me of a story a trucker once told me, but im not a veteran and its not a service story, so ill tell it someplace else perhaps

Right back atcha. http://www.freesmileys.org/emo/gen111.gif

Ahahaha *points* Look at it! ROFL! *wipes tear from eye*
I've been waiting to use this smiley for so long, I had to make this pointless post. Sorry.

But I guess a thread about war stories can use both laughter and flowers, so maybe it wasn't so pointless at all.
Hon, this tired old world needs all the laughter and flowers it can get! Lay it on us! :)

Did you usually carry the '47 and the Greasegun Eut, or was that just because someone had left them behind and you were making sure they weren't left behind?

And what year was that?
That was 1967.

The pistol and greasegun were mine. I got the pistol off a recently deceased Chinese advisor. Up to that point, I handn't carried a pistol very often, mostly 'cause about the only thing an Army issue .45 was good for was pounding nails. :D

I don't personally have any war stories (eight years in and no combat, a fact I have NO problem with) but my uncle certainly did.

He was in the Australian Army in WWII (my father's side of the family are all Aussies), part of the volunteer/conscript force that was sent to New Guinea (the rest of the Australian forces that served outside Aus were all volunteer). Two of my uncles and my Grandfather served in the same unit (it was the second time around for my grandfather - he'd lied about his age to get in to WWI, then lied again for WWII - the other way).

Anyway, the one he liked to tell the most was about one time he was on guard duty, looking out of a trench against a night attack by the Japanese. Uncle Ron had very good ears - which was why he normally drew night duty.

So, he's looking out, trying to see something on a moonless night under triple-canopy rainforest, when this hand reaches around from behind him and grips his collar badge! He starts, looks around, and sees six small men, faces blacked out except for their eyes, in Brit gear. The nearest one is holding his finger to his lips, while the other hand holds a big, nasty funny shaped knife.

They were Gurkhas, of course. Uncle Ron glances back to his sector, then turns back to the Gurkhas - who aren't there any more. He heard them neither arrive, nor leave.

Later he heard that they were a roving patrol - the reason they checked collar tabs was to prevent a Japanese soldier from masquerading as one of the expeditionary force. Japanese uniforms had no collar tabs.

God help you if you forgot to wear yours...