NationStates Jolt Archive

Like a pet or something? Many people in the military anthropormorphize their fighter planes or ships, and civilians do it as well. I'm just curious if anyone does this with their computers.

As for me: No, not really. Except when mah baby's running slow. Then I try coaxing her back to speed. ;)

Only when looking at porno!

No, I treat it as undead.

It's way too comforting that anything that the computer does is the result of your own actions, either by direct commands or negligence. Compare the golem who dug a trench endlessly.

I treat it as my second wife.

Of course I don't treat Theresa that way!









Er.......... I mean....... <_< >_> /flees/

Like a pet or something? Many people in the military anthropormorphize their fighter planes or ships, and civilians do it as well. I'm just curious if anyone does this with their computers.

As for me: No, not really. Except when mah baby's running slow. Then I try coaxing her back to speed. ;)

No, but I do cuss at my computer at work.

Hey, B-52 aircraft do live, how do you think they have lasted so long? I remember returning to a B-52 base after three years on fighters. As I walked through the hangar, I petted a B-52 on the nose and asked, "Have they been treating you well baby?" She just grinned at me. :)

Do I have an affinity for B-52 aircraft? Well, I worked on them for over 20 years. Best aircraft ever made.

I do when he gets slower, and he obeys me and goes faster!!

You assume we have computers?!?!?!?

If it isn't alive then I've wasted an immeasurable amount of time swearing it when it buggers up.

Of course. I call him Dick Justice.

Don't really think of it as a pet but when something bad happens to it I feel real apprehensive

Only insofar as swearing at the bastard when it buggers up counts as treating it as alive. Although that's not really very much as I do much the same to inanimate objects that I walk into and such.

Do you treat your computer as though it were alive?

No, its a machine with no characteristics of a living thing.

I cuss at it when it annoys me. It generally goes by the name "Bastard"

If I treated it as if it were alive I'd feel to guilty about hitting it repeatly.

I can't torment it. I can't shock it. I can't wedgie it. I can't push it in mud(Well, I can but it's just not the same).I can't tackle it without serious repercussions. It isn't impressed with my jokes. It isn't impressed with my juggling. It has seen me naked and not batted an eyelash.

It's dead to me. :p

I can't torment it. I can't shock it. I can't wedgie it. I can't push it in mud(Well, I can but it's just not the same).I can't tackle it without serious repercussions. It isn't impressed with my jokes. It isn't impressed with my juggling. It has seen me naked and not batted an eyelash.

It's dead to me. :p

I think the first is the reason for the second :D

I think the first is the reason for the second :D

*streaks by*

OP: nah, I don't even get mad at it. There's no point. :)

*streaks by*

*head asplodes*

So we've confirmed that Lunatic Goofballs killed his computer by exposing himself. :p
I'm giving mine a blindfold - just in case. *locks door*

Like a pet or something? Many people in the military anthropormorphize their fighter planes or ships, and civilians do it as well. I'm just curious if anyone does this with their computers.

As for me: No, not really. Except when mah baby's running slow. Then I try coaxing her back to speed. ;)

i shout at it and hit it when its not working but then i don't do that to people or pets so i guess thats not really athropomorphizing. having said that my computer's has so many faults, foibles and failures it may as well be alive. it also has a distinctive smell from all the different kinds of drinks i've spilled on the keyboard. it's even an amputee - there's no down arrow key and the floppy drive is disabled cuz there's a disk stuck in it. the floppy drive also shouts back cuz it tries to read the disk that's stuck in it and makes a grinding groaning sound :eek: . also sometimes the mouse pointer wotsit moves all by itself - so yeh it may well be alive.

Of course, I treat it as my bitch. Everything I want it to do, it does. Eventually. Well, nearly everything. And when I say nearly everything, I mean not that much. Slowest bugger in the world. I try opening Firefox, then I go make myself a cup of tea, I come back, and it's still opening.

It thinks its name is 'Fucking Bugger', though it does occasionally go by the pet name of 'Little Shit'.

It usually goes by the name of "Goddamn Piece of Shit" or "GPS" for short.

"Do you treat your computer as though it were alive?"

Only when I'm talking online with a beautiful woman. Then I caress the monitor and fondle my mouse! :D

I don't turn on my grandma or plug in my dog. Do you?

Nah, not really. Though sometimes I think it's out to get me when it does strange things that it shouldn't be doing. Demon Computer... *pets it*

Er... Yes. I don't think of it as though it's alive. Not at all.

My friend threatens his computer with a knife when it lags, though. Actually seems to work to.

my computer is named Jessica :).

I don't turn on my grandma

I should bloody well hope not :eek:

I don't turn on my grandma or plug in my dog. Do you?

Yes.

Yes.

How could you 'plug in your dog'?:confused:

Not really my PC but i often have kissed my moblie phone, thinking of the girl on the other side

How could you 'plug in your dog'?:confused:

You really have to ask? First, you attach the power cord, as supplied by the manufacturer, to the dog. Then you plug it in.

How could you 'plug in your dog'?:confused:

Do you really want to know?

You really have to ask? First, you attach the power cord, as supplied by the manufacturer, to the dog. Then you plug it in.

Where? Dogs don't have sockets.

EDIT: Oh no

Not really my PC but i often have kissed my moblie phone, thinking of the girl on the other side

Why not just move the phone out of the way? :p

For the record (and to kill time while the 30 sec post thingy passes), I've done the same thing

Where? Dogs don't have sockets.

Yes, they do. What kind of vetinarian are you?

Yes, they do. What kind of vetinarian are you?

I just can't comprehend electrocuting dogs by sticking plugs up their arse :D

I just can't comprehend electrocuting dogs by sticking plugs up their arse :D

Don't be silly. 9 times out of 3982 the dog will become a super-charged Electropooch. If this happens, the Electropooch must be regularly recharged or it will surely die.

Why not just move the phone out of the way? :p

I have done this one time , and yes it was quit better ;)

*streaks by*
*films it*

My computer's name is Charlie.

He's a good computer, but his clock is starting to run slow. I don't know how I'll deal with replacing him when he breaks. He's my first computer.

I should bloody well hope not
I don't allow electricity to flow into my grandmother by pressing a button or flipping a switch to have her become animate. :rolleyes:

*films it*

*steals tape, shows it to U.S. defense supercomputer*

My computer's name is Andromeda.

She's always been here for me, and has served me well. I'll always be here for her, and will repair her components as need be.

We get along quite nicely.

[/weird]

When it gets laggy and slow I send my fist towards my keyboard like a person...

I find that the more bizarre and freakishly cruel the fate I threaten my computer with, the better the frame-rate on any given game. It also responds well to christian style blessings and pagan style blood rituals.

My computer is extremely weird and therefore I consider it more likely to be alive than not.

Do you treat your computer as though it were alive?
Yes, a bit, but I kind of have to because I'm an animist.

I have 2 laptops. The old one is named ENIAC and the new one is named HAL. I encourage them when they are doing complex tasks, only give them the best programs to work with, try not to clutter them up with old, dead files, and I thank them for working properly when I shut them down. They do work well (Macs, of course) so I don't have cause to yell at them, but I did curse and threaten the hell out of the PCs at my office job, worthless boxes of junk that they were (though I also pity them for having been designed poorly; not their fault).

BTW, I also bid my apartment farewell when I leave and goodnight when I turn in, and I offer elaborate deals to subway trains to induce them to get me where I need to go on time. I'm not the only lunatic in this regard. There's at least one more -- a Lithuanian art gallery owner I met in Prague who said, "Thank you, Gallery," when he locked up the place.

What can I say? Animists live in a crowded universe.

I dont really treat it like a person, how many people do i open up and tinker with inside?? :confused: :p meh either way i made it and all but nah not really a baby, although i have been quoted as calling it my baby...

No. I value it above most people, however. (it's a tie between it and my best friends. and in a sense, my computer could be concidered my "best friend")

BBB is my disobedient 6-year-old child. She needs a LOT of attention to work properly, and sometimes even that won't stop her from freezing up in the middle of a game. *sigh*

If you really think that your computer lacks a soul, install linux and wupti :)

My computers is named after greek char's - this one is Psi. I guess I pat them when there have been running for some weeks without a shutdown... partly for encourage them, partly to test if they are too hot :)

IT IS ALIVE, I SWEAR!

Lol. Seriously, though, I sometimes feel like the Apple people programmed a sense of humor into the iPod op code - the 'choice' of songs when I put it on shuffle is sometimes eerie.

IT IS ALIVE, I SWEAR!

Lol. Seriously, though, I sometimes feel like the Apple people programmed a sense of humor into the iPod op code - the 'choice' of songs when I put it on shuffle is sometimes eerie.
First they achieve self awareness.

Then they achieve awareness of us.

Then they realize it's fun to jerk us around.

I make love to computers.

Wait, so it's not alive?

Wait, so it's not alive?

You're raising an interesting point there.