NationStates Jolt Archive

Okay, it is SO on. Your momma. Insult someones momma here.

And blame this all on Peech and Simonist

Sarky..yo mama's so stupid...she took a ruler to bed just to see how long she slept.

Okay, it is SO on. Your momma. Insult someones momma here.

And blame this all on Peech and Simonist

Sarkhaan momma is so fat..... she died of coronary heart disease! Oh Snap!

Sarky..yo mama's so stupid...she took a ruler to bed just to see how long she slept.
Oh yeah, well, your momma is so fat, she had to get baptized at sea world.

Oh my god, it's elementaru school all over again.

Sarkhaan momma is so fat..... she died of coronary heart disease! Oh Snap!


I hear Gartref's mama's so ugly that she entered an ugly contest and the judges said "sorry, no professionals."

Yo mamma's so fat, it takes her two trips to haul ass!

Yo mamma's so fat, it takes her two trips to haul ass!

Kroisistan's momma is so fat NASA gives a name to each one of her farts!

Oh my god, it's elementaru school all over again.
isn't it spectacular?

you momma is so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample.

The only thing worse than your mom her oral.

yo mamma so fat, small objects orbit her...

Kroisistan's momma is so fat NASA gives a name to each one of her farts!


Word on the street is....yo mama's so nasty, she brings crabs to the beach.

The only thing worse than your mom her oral.


LOL

* Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo.
* Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.
* Yo mama's so big, she rollerskates on busses.
* Yo mama's so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.
* Yo mama's so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker.
* Yo mama's so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings.
* Yo mama's so big, she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.
* Yo mama's so big, she whistles bass.
* Yo mama's so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.
* Yo mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"
* Yo mama's so big, they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.
* Yo mama's so big, when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!
* Yo mama's so big, when she bent down to tie her shoes, her face got burnt from re-entry.
* Yo mama's so big, when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.
* Yo mama's so big, when she stands up the sun goes out.
* Yo mama's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.
* Yo mama's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop.


* Yo mama's so nasty, a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
* Yo mama's so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
* Yo mama's so nasty, her tits give sour milk.
* Yo mama's so nasty, I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
* Yo mama's so nasty, I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
* Yo mama's so nasty, she bit the dog and gave it rabies.
* Yo mama's so nasty, she bought her boyfriend kneepads for Christmas.
* Yo mama's so nasty, she breeds crabs.
* Yo mama's so nasty, she calls Janet "Miss Jackson."
* Yo mama's so nasty, she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.
* Yo mama's so nasty, she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."
* Yo mama's so nasty, she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
* Yo mama's so nasty, she made Right Guard turn left.
* Yo mama's so nasty, she made Speed Stick slow down.
* Yo mama's so nasty, she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
* Yo mama's so nasty, she pours salt water in her drawers to keep the crabs alive.
* Yo mama's so nasty, she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.
* Yo mama's so nasty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.
* Yo mama's so nasty, she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!
* Yo mama's so nasty, she's got more clap than an auditorium.
* Yo mama's so nasty, they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
* Yo mama's so nasty, when I went to your house said what's for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"
* Yo mama's so nasty, when I went to your house said what's for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"
* Yo mama's so nasty, when she did the splits, she stuck to the floor.


* Yo mama's so ugly and fat, Greenpeace mistook her for an endangered elephant.
* Yo mama's so ugly, even a blind man wouldn't have sex with her.
* Yo mama's so ugly, even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.
* Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.
* Yo mama's so ugly, even the tide won't come back in.
* Yo mama's so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail-order.
* Yo mama's so ugly, her face is closed on weekends!
* Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had.
* Yo mama's so ugly, her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
* Yo mama's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
* Yo mama's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.
* Yo mama's so ugly, her pillow cries at night.
* Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow quit.
* Yo mama's so ugly, her shadow ran away from her.
* Yo mama's so ugly, I can fuck her in any position and its still doggy style.
* Yo mama's so ugly, I can't even make a joke out of it.
* Yo mama's so ugly, I have to watch your sister undress just to calm down.
* Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
* Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."
* Yo mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the monkeys said "Damn, how'd you get out so fast."
* Yo mama's so ugly, if she were a scarecrow, the corn would run away.
* Yo mama's so ugly, if you looked up ugly in the dictionary her picture would be next to it.
* Yo mama's so ugly, instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
* Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she ran the 100 yard dash in a 90 yard gym.
* Yo mama's so ugly, it looks like she's been bobbing for French fries.
* Yo mama's so ugly, it makes me wish birth control is retroactive.
* Yo mama's so ugly, just after she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
* Yo mama's so ugly, Medusa is jealous.
* Yo mama's so ugly, my dog took one look at her and ran away.
* Yo mama's so ugly, people at the circus pay money not to see her.
* Yo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween.
* Yo mama's so ugly, people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.
* Yo mama's so ugly, people make jokes about her.
* Yo mama's so ugly, Rice Krispies won't talk to her.
* Yo mama's so ugly, roaches go "Hi mom!"
* Yo mama's so ugly, she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she can't even bare the thought of fucking herself.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!
* Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare Cujo off a meat truck.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the chrome off a bumper!
* Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the flies off a shit wagon.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she could scare the moss off a rock!
* Yo mama's so ugly, she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit with the ugly log.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she got a sex change and the surgeon had to flip a coin.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she has a sign in her yard that says "Beware of Dog."
* Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on her makeup.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she has to creep up on water to get a drink.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she has to get the baby drunk to breast feed it.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she hurt my feelings.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she got hit with a bag of "What the fuck?!?!"
* Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like you.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she makes blind children cry.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she makes onions cry.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she pretends SHE's someone else when she's having sex.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she scares roaches away.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she tied a pork chop around her neck and the dog still wouldn't play with her.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she uses her face for birth control.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she was a guard for Castle Greyskull.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.
* Yo mama's so ugly, she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking.
* Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were a crime, she'd get the electric chair.
* Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team.
* Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
* Yo mama's so ugly, that when she was a baby, her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.
* Yo mama's so ugly, the doctor is still smacking her ass.
* Yo mama's so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
* Yo mama's so ugly, the kids call her Lassie and feed the bitch dog biscuits.
* Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.
* Yo mama's so ugly, the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train.
* Yo mama's so ugly, the Pro-Lifers would make an exception in her case.
* Yo mama's so ugly, the psychiatrist makes her lie face down.
* Yo mama's so ugly, they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
* Yo mama's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
* Yo mama's so ugly, they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
* Yo mama's so ugly, they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
* Yo mama's so ugly, they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
* Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on a poster for abstinence.
* Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.
* Yo mama's so ugly, they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks.
* Yo mama's so ugly, we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.
* Yo mama's so ugly, well.. look at you!
* Yo mama's so ugly, when I took her to a haunted house she came out with a paycheck.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she cries, tears run down the back of her neck.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she got in the tub, the water jumped out.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back shaking it's head.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she masturbates she gets arrested for cruelty to animals.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she takes her bra off she looks like she has four big toes.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor looked at her ass, then her face, and said "Twins!"
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked everyone.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, her mama saw the afterbirth and said "Twins."
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor slapped her and her parents.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born, the doctor smacked the wrong end.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she went camping, the park ranger was like "Hey Yogi!"
* Yo mama's so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.
* Yo mama's so ugly, when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "NO!"
* Yo mama's so ugly, when your dad wants to have sex in the car, he tells her to get out.
* Yo mama's so ugly, yo dad first met her at the pound.
* Yo mama's so ugly, yo daddy tosses the ugly stick and she fetches it every time.
* Yo mama's so ugly, yo father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her good-bye.
* Yo mama's so ugly, yo father's breath smells like shit 'cause he'd rather kiss her ass.
* Yo mama's so ugly, you could stick her face in dough and make monster cookies.
* Yo mama's so ugly, your real pops could only be a fuckin' dog.

yo mamma so ugly, she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she was beaten with the ugly log...

Word on the street is....yo mama's so nasty, she brings crabs to the beach.

Yo momma's so ugly that every time she goes to the beach, cats try to put sand on her.

God, I've created a monster.....

See this? This is shame. Shame and regret.

snip

must have taken a long time to type those... :rolleyes:

Thriceaddict wins the "Uncool Award" of the evening.

Incidentally, his mama's so dumb she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Thriceaddict wins the "Uncool Award" of the evening.

Incidentally, his mama's so dumb she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

He also takes the "I can't believe he has yo mamma jokes to copy and paste" award.

I've also heard that his momma's so fat you have to take two trains and a bus to get on her good side.

yo mamma so ugly, she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she was beaten with the ugly log...
yeah? well your momma didn't just get beaten with the ugly stick, she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every damn ugly branch on the way down.

Thriceaddict wins the "Uncool Award" of the evening.

Incidentally, his mama's so dumb she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

his mommas so fat, she jumped in the air and got stuck...

yeah? well your momma didn't just get beaten with the ugly stick, she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every damn ugly branch on the way down.

ohhh sarkaans got jokes. oh no...

yo mamma so ugly, she has to tie a t-bone to her neck so the dog will play with her...

ohhh sarkaans got jokes. oh no...

yo mamma so ugly, she has to tie a t-bone to her neck so the dog will play with her...
hahaha...I like that one

Your moms so dirty, she's got more clap than an auditorium.

In all fairness, my mama's so fat, we have to grease the door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

Your mother is so licentous, she ventures in to houses of ill repute regularly yet is forcibly removed due to her presence offending the local gentlemen who deign to partake in the pleasures of said house.

Hah! A witty repartee, if I do say so myself.

yeah? well your momma didn't just get beaten with the ugly stick, she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every damn ugly branch on the way down.

No way, yo momma's so damn ugly, she fell out of the Ugly Tree AND THEN CLIMBED BACK UP!!! OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! WHAT NOW???

Yo momma's so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "hey, ain't that my phone number?"

YO momma's so fat, she just sits around the house all day....and I mean AROUND the house!

Yo momma's so fat she's got more moons than Uranus!!!

Yo momma's so fat that McDonald's PAYS her to eat there!

Yo momma's so ugly that she cause Helen Keller to go blind AND deaf!

In all fairness, my mama's so fat, we have to grease the door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through.


:eek:...hee hee hee...

Your mother is so licentous, she ventures in to houses of ill repute regularly yet is forcibly removed due to her presence offending the local gentlemen who deign to partake in the pleasures of said house.

Hah! A witty repartee, if I do say so myself.
:D

-snip-

Pwn3d

Yo momma's so dumb, she stayed up all night studying for a blood test... and failed.

Your mother is a filthy whore.

Your mother is a filthy whore.

Guaranteed to end any and all conversation...

Your mama's so poor she can't even pay attention.

Oh you don't want to get me started here ... nobody plays the dozens better than me.

Oh you don't want to get me started here ... nobody plays the dozens better than me.


I thought youd never show up....

I thought youd never show up....

:D

Well ... ok then .... here goes ...

*aherm*

Yo mama so nasty she has to sneak up on bath water.

Yo mama's not so bad....she'd give you the hair off her back.

Yo mama's not so bad....she'd give you the hair off her back.

OH! Damn ...

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

OH! Damn ...

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Your mama's so stupid she couldn't find her right hand ...even with using her right hand.

Your mama's so fat that her panty lines are laid by an utility company.

I'll just leave you with some personal favorites:

Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.

Yo mama has one leg and a bicycle.

Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!

I'll be checking this thread for goodies. :)

Nothing against Fass or gay people (I'm bi meself):
Fass's mom is so stupid, she gave him the wrong "talk."

Simonist']God, I've created a monster.....

See this? This is shame. Shame and regret.
Muhahaha!!!
The best part is the smell it connotates. :D

Simonist']God, I've created a monster.....

See this? This is shame. Shame and regret.
Nothing quite like beating a dead horse on a friday morning.

I once got a 24 hour forum ban for responding to all threads with "Yo Mama" jokes.

:D

I am proud of that ban.

I once got a 24 hour forum ban for responding to all threads with "Yo Mama" jokes.

:D

I am proud of that ban.
hahaha...that makes me even more proud to know you.

I once got a 24 hour forum ban for responding to all threads with "Yo Mama" jokes.

:D

I am proud of that ban.
Were they all in context? That would be the mark of a professional, IMHO. ;)

Nothing quite like beating a dead horse on a friday morning.
Yea, ask Lunatic "Flesh Skep" Goofballs about all that jazz.

Yo momma so fat she sweats gravy.


That's all I got. Don't hurt me, please. :D

Yo momma so fat she sweats gravy.


That's all I got. Don't hurt me, please. :D
I'm sure your mother is a very nice woman...


but man, she's so fat, that when she wears red, everyone starts yelling "Hey! KOOOL-AID!"

Yo momma so poor, Africans give her money.

Yo momma so old, she sat next to Jesus in third grade.

Yo momma so stupid, she's a atheist who believes in creationism.

Straughn's momma be so fat that he experiences time dilation when ever he nears her event horizon! Oh SNAP!

Straughn's momma be so fat that he experiences time dialtion when ever he nears her event horizon! Oh SNAP!
That would explain A LOT of my childhood/adulthood/regression.
Thanks. You just shamed *YEARS* of expensive "professional" therapy.

Yo mama's so fat, she hopped on a rainbow and Skittles popped out.

That's all...I'm done...I swear. :p

I saw your momma walking down the street kicking a cardboard box.

So I said " What are you doing you crazy old bitch? "

She said " Movin' "

Nothing against Fass or gay people (I'm bi meself):
Fass's mom is so stupid, she gave him the wrong "talk."

She did give me the wrong talk. She spoke of girls.

Your momma so fat (or hungry) she thought Fleetwood Mac was a new burger.

Your momma's so nasty...

that when I asked her what was for dinner...



She spread her legs and said "crabs"!!!



Edit: Damn, it was on the list someone posted earlier. Posting that many is no fair.

Your momma's so nasty...

that when I asked her what was for dinner...



She spread her legs and said "crabs"!!!



Edit: Damn, it was on the list someone posted earlier. Posting that many is no fair.


Pfft.

Weak.
Like...last week...

Yo mommas so dumb, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwin out all the "w"s.

Yo mommas so fat, she got more chins than a chinese phone book.

Yo mommas so fat, the back of her neck look like a pack of franks.

Werd to ya mutha.

Pfft.

Weak.
Like...last week...

Yo mommas so dumb, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwin out all the "w"s.

Yo mommas so fat, she got more chins than a chinese phone book.

Yo mommas so fat, the back of her neck look like a pack of franks.

Werd to ya mutha.

You call mine weak and then post those? Are you kidding?

Your Momma is a Jew!

Oh you don't want to get me started here ... nobody plays the dozens better than me.


Yo momma's teeth so nasty, she spits Yoohoo!

In fact, Yo Momma's teeth is SO nasty, when she smiles, it looks like she got a mouthfull of dice.


Heh.

You call mine weak and then post those? Are you kidding?


Oh come now.

Those are classics.

I figured since nobody did em yet, I'd take the cheap opening.

Ok..

Yo Mommas so fat, she gotta shit in the tub.

Ok..

Yo Mommas so fat, she gotta shit in the tub.
LOL

LOL


That ones mine.

That ones mine.

The shit or the tub?

The shit or the tub?

Both.

All your tub is belong to us.

That ones mine.
Be Proud.

Ok..

Yo Mommas so fat, she gotta shit in the tub.

Oh that one is priceless. I'm using that next time I'm around my cousins.

Your Momma is a Jew!

Well ... yeah ... she is. So?

Yo mama got two feet on her titties. Bitch fell over and kept on runnin'.

Yo mamma has a short leg and walks in circles.

Yo momma aint chuck norris.

Yo Mammas so fat, she irons her dress in the driveway.

Yo momaa's so fat not even a roundhouse kick from Chuck could move her.

Yo momaa's so fat not even a roundhouse kick from Chuck could move her.
*falls over quietly laughing*
Stop that! Im in a library.
You have me jiggling.
Evil.

:rolleyes: