NationStates Jolt Archive

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.

Damned Yankees. :p

Perhaps they forgot to take their meds this morning?

Umm yea, I stopped reading it about after the third "fuck". Obviously this guy is just a big cry baby with no real argument against the South.

Next!

I half-heartedly agree with that person, actually. Even I, the native --not by choice-- texan.

Perhaps they forgot to take their meds this morning?
Typical Yankees ... buncha ritilin-snorting, pot-smoking, coke-snorting, extacsy-imbibing, alcoholic n'ere-do-wells. :D

I half-heartedly agree with that person, actually. Even I, the native --not by choice-- texan.
Scalliwag! :mp5:

VIVA LA NORTH EAST! Seriously, we do kick ass.

This just energised my day.

Typical Yankees ... buncha ritilin-snorting, pot-smoking, coke-snorting, extacsy-imbibing, alcoholic n'ere-do-wells. :D


Typical Southerner ... A bunch of smoking, obese, devolved, English-mangling, sister-banging, pretentious, war-mongering, homophobic, Republicans.

VIVA LA NORTH EAST! Seriously, we do kick ass.


*High fives*

Southerners, Northerners. Grow up, you two. We of California are too busy having fun in the sun and propping up the US economy to pay attention to your quibbling!

Southerners, Northerners. Grow up, you too. We of California are too busy having fun in the sun and propping up the US economy to pay attention to your quibbling!


Edit: And/or getting screwed by the Governator

This rant so makes me think of a good friend of mine...Tony. Not only was he a New Yorker, but Italian too. Every third word was "fuck". It used to crack me up. Everyone thought he was mad all the time because of his accent and use of the f word. He had been known to make people offers they cant refuse too......*looks the other way*

Yeah, we should give the south to Mexico.

Except CA.


And Las vegas.


They can have the rest.


Especially Pheonix and everyplace in Mississippi.

Oh, and we get to keep Florida, too.

Yeah, we should give the south to Mexico.

Except CA.


And Las vegas.


They can have the rest.


Especially Pheonix and everyplace in Mississippi.

Oh, and we get to keep Florida, too.



Keep the Oranges; good thinking! :p

This rant, though hilarious, is over 16 months old.

This rant, though hilarious, is over 16 months old.


SHHHHH :P

I wonder if I should dig out the real red vs blue map again...

Keep the Oranges; good thinking! :p
It's not about the oranges, bro. Its the strip bars and the bikinis. :D

VIVA LA NORTH EAST! Seriously, we do kick ass.
Snobbish, elitist, politically-correct, overbearing, loud, obnoxious, road-hogging, self-important, demogogic, aristocratic, ethically-challenged, pushovers! :p

Yeah, we should give the south to Mexico.

Except CA.


And Las vegas.


They can have the rest.


Especially Pheonix and everyplace in Mississippi.

Oh, and we get to keep Florida, too.

Cali and Las Vegas are not "the South". And no one from Florida is a Southerner. It's filled with people from all over who go there to retire. Tube socks and sandals and Panama Jack hats. *my eyes!*

You know not all Southerners are inbred, ignorant homophobes. Being that I live in Ga. I do see a lot of racism, ignorance and other embarrassing behavior. But some of us are just great cooks who sip iced tea and work in our vegetable gardens.:cool:

It's not about the oranges, bro. Its the strip bars and the bikinis. :D

...and a burgeoning elderly population?

Southerners, Northerners. Grow up, you two. We of California are too busy having fun in the sun and propping up the US economy to pay attention to your quibbling!
Land of the fruits and nuts! :D

Yeah, we should give the south to Mexico.

Except CA.


And Las vegas.


They can have the rest.


Especially Pheonix and everyplace in Mississippi.

Oh, and we get to keep Florida, too.

Cede territory to Mexico? You're mad! The US should annex Latin America. The Cluich needs more Latinas. :cool:

...and a burgeoning elderly population?
We need someone to vote and stuff.

Cede territory to Mexico? You're mad! The US should annex Latin America. The Cluich needs more Latinas. :cool:
We can import them to work in the strip bars.

Legally, of course.

Cede territory to Mexico? You're mad! The US should annex Latin America. The Cluich needs more Latinas. :cool:
Latinas! Mmmmm! :D

Snobbish, elitist, politically-correct, overbearing, loud, obnoxious, road-hogging, self-important, demogogic, aristocratic, ethically-challenged, pushovers! :p


I'll admit to Snobbish, elitist, politically-correct, pretentious, intelligent, and pompous; but, who the FUCK is a Republican to tell me about ethics.

I'll admit to Snobbish, elitist, politically-correct, pretentious, intelligent, and pompous; but, who the FUCK is a Republican to tell me about ethics.
I have no idea, not being one. :p

Typical Southerner ... A bunch of smoking, obese, devolved, English-mangling, sister-banging, pretentious, war-mongering, homophobic, Republicans.
hey! I never did anything like that to my sister! oh, and I am not afraid of gay people.

hey! I never did anything like that to my sister! oh, and I am not afraid of gay people.
I'm really not either, but I have to admit that Fass scares the shit outta me! :D

hey! I never did anything like that to my sister! oh, and I am not afraid of gay people.



I said typical. So, you are a smoking, obese, bible-thumping, etc. that I listed?

Land of the fruits and nuts! :D

But the rest of the country, and the world, likes our fruit. And you can eat my nuts. :p

Im from the UK, but all i have to say is DOWN with Texas, the ass hole of America.

Snobbish,
Who do you think you are? I'm too good to be quoted.
elitist,
*sips dry martini* "eh kenedy its party time!"
politically-correct,
Why thank you :D
overbearing,
Are you calling me fat?!
loud, obnoxious,
"YOU AINT GOT SHIT ON ME! IM.." *passes out from drunkeness*
road-hogging,
Its a hemi!
self-important,
Its just good self esteem!
demogogic,
Where the hell is my dictionary?
aristocratic,
*wakes up and finishes martini*
ethically-challenged,
Ethics are for looooosers!
pushovers!
Cow tipping is fun.

Im from the UK, but all i have to say is DOWN with Texas, the ass hole of America.

I'm guessing this is related to Bush... :rolleyes:

I'm guessing this is related to Bush... :rolleyes:

No actually, i just hate Texas.

No actually, i just hate Texas.

Why?

I'm really not either, but I have to admit that Fass scares the shit outta me! :D
ah, but not because he is gay....he is just scary anyway, sexual preference aside.


I said typical. So, you are a smoking, obese, bible-thumping, etc. that I listed?
some of it.... lets see....

4 out of 9.....not too bad.

But the rest of the country, and the world, likes our fruit. And you can eat my nuts. :p
LOL! Uh ... no thanks. :p

No actually, i just hate Texas.
anyone with a brain does.......

oh, wait, must....resist......Okie......brainwashing....oh, no, I don't want to......Texas sucks.

But people I know and love came from Texas... :(

Though I live in the NorthWest I truly enjoyed this rant.

I wonder why it is that there seems to be some unwritten rule that if you are going to run for President you have to be from the south anymore. Even if they only moved there later in life. It's been nearly 20 years since we had a president who isn't from a southern state. Too bad that one was a shitty example of leadership who was better at spewing platitudes than he was with economic policy.

Im from the UK, but all i have to say is DOWN with Texas, the ass hole of America.
Listen, dweeb ... if they ever wanna give the world an enema, Manchester is where they'll stick it in! :D

Thouhg I live in the NorthWest I truly enjoed this rant.

I wonder why it is that there seem sto be some unwritten rule that if you are going to run for President you have to be from the south anymore. Even if they only moved there later in life. It's been nearly 20 years since we had a president who isn't from a southern state. Too bad that one was a shitty example of leadership who was better at spewing platitudes than he was with economic policy.

I guess it has to do something with the electorial college here in the South, I dunno.

But people I know and love came from Texas... :(
oh me too, they escaped. ;)

[QUOTE=Smunkeeville][QUOTE]
Damn, dude. Chill. :cool:

I wonder why it is that there seem sto be some unwritten rule that if you are going to run for President you have to be from the south anymore.
It's all part of the plan laid down just before the surrender by Jeff Davis and his cabinet to make the South rise again. Mwahahaha!

[ shifty eyes ]

Listen, dweeb ... if they ever wanna give the world an enema, Manchester is where they'll stick it in! :D

Texas? Manchester? Try bloody Paris. That city is full of arrogant opinionated arseholes.*

*NB - This is not a French-bashing comment. Merely an observation that Parisians are snobbish, elitist and extremely arrogant.

Damn, dude. Chill. :cool:okay that's not funny. I didn't say that. you should really go fix it. like right now.

oh me too, they escaped. ;)

Mine did too, hell one of them said she came to NC to escape from TX. She's great though. She still like everything big, so she still has some Texan left in her.

Damn, dude. Chill. :cool:
Heh! Callin' Smunkeeville a "dude" is like callin' Superman a feminazi! :D

I'm really not either, but I have to admit that Fass scares the shit outta me! :D

Fass scares us all. :p

I always thought the emna tube would go into the Middle East.

okay that's not funny. I didn't say that. you should really go fix it. like right now.
Oh, jeez. :mad: Can't anybody take a joke? :mad: This is a joke thread, for chrisakes...

Texas? Manchester? Try bloody Paris. That city is full of arrogant opinionated arseholes.*

*NB - This is not a French-bashing comment. Merely an observation that Parisians are snobbish, elitist and extremely arrogant.
Lol change snobbish and elitist with ignorant inbread and there you have Texas.

Oi, I hope the author of this thing was joking. I remember seeing it way back when, and it is just as stupid now.

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes.

Whats this "we" shit, white man?

Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence?

What does the first part do to negate the rest?

Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

Washington was from Virginia. As was Jefferson. Hell, Virginia was the most populated state at the time of the Continental Congress, so they had the most representatives.

Of course, Hamilton was from the Caribean, but thats neither here nor there.

As someone born, raised, and proudly still living in NYC, I ask you to stop talking. Seriously, its not really looking too good when you keep yelling that some else from another region is ignorant while you can't get through a sentence without the word "fuck".

I guess it has to do something with the electorial college here in the South, I dunno.

I know this one - I studied it recently in my US History Class. After the '68 election and Johnson's revolutionary Civil Rights reforms and the effect of the Civil War, the Republican had to include a Southerner as President and/or Vice-President to console the powerful conservative Southern supporters of the Republican party. The Democrats are kinda in the same boat at times.

Oh, jeez. :mad: Can't anybody take a joke? :mad: This is a joke thread, for chrisakes...

Changing/misquoting is a Mod offense. Please delete it/amend it.

Texas? Manchester? Try bloody Paris. That city is full of arrogant opinionated arseholes.*

*NB - This is not a French-bashing comment. Merely an observation that Parisians are snobbish, elitist and extremely arrogant.
Damned cheese-eating surrender-monkeys! Heh! :D

Fass scares us all. :p
ROFLMFAO!!!! :D

Damned cheese-eating surrender-monkeys! Heh! :D

Now say it once more, but with a Scottish accent!

I always thought the emna tube would go into the Middle East.

Actually, guys, the world has no "asshole". If it had one, the world wouldn't be so full of shit.

Changing/misquoting is a Mod offense. Please delete it/amend it.
Well, Criky. :mad:

Actually, guys, the world has no "asshole". If it had one, it wouldn't be so full of shit.

Well actually, if you subscribe to the theory that there is a hole in the earth and that hole leads us down to the earth within an earth...

Now say it once more, but with a Scottish accent!
Hoot, mon! :D

Actually, guys, the world has no "asshole". If it had one, the world wouldn't be so full of shit.
Uh ... I thought the rubric went: space is a vacume 'cause the world sucks! :D

Uh ... I thought the rubric went: space is a vacume 'cause the world sucks! :D

I'm afflicted with a terminal condition that causes me to come up with my own rubrics. Also, thank you for clearing up what a rubric is for me. I heretofore thought they were some sort of LEGO knockoff.

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes.
Hmmm, I'm not sure which came first, America, North North America, Southern North America, or the British Empire.

Maybe the United States of merica founded it? And Athough I prefer the south if the North is liberal then I'm torn apart...

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

So, you fight against their claim for independence, defeat them and force them to be part of a country they do not want to be part of, and then you complain they are not grateful?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

Yes, they were rather strong on states having a large degree of independence rather than being primarily led from Washington DC.

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.

"holier-than-thou", as opposed to a page of indignation?

I'm afflicted with a terminal condition that causes me to come up with my own rubrics. Also, thank you for clearing up what a rubric is for me. I heretofore thought they were some sort of LEGO knockoff.
LOL! You're welcome. No charge ... this time! :D

I'm amused by the number of people that actually think the Civil War was about slavery. That was only an after thought. In the 19th century, agriculture was a big money business and the south had a lot of it. The southern states decided to form their own union because they were tired of northern politicians sticking their hands in the souths pockets.

Actually, guys, the world has no "asshole". If it had one, the world wouldn't be so full of shit.
Yes it does, you just have to drill for it. *high fives an oil tycoon*

Anger Poisoning...
Atempting Reboot...
.
.
.
.
Reboot Failed...
Powering Down...

What an arrogant and ignorant pile of trash.

A bunch of smoking, obese, devolved, English-mangling, sister-banging, pretentious, war-mongering, homophobic, Republicans.
Nope.
Though I do smoke. I'm a reasonably trim, close to perfect-English, sister(oops, never mind that one), not too pretentious, anti-war, gay friendly, liberal. From Texas. No, Texas liberal is not an oxymoron.

This is why I'm glad I lived out West. ;)

Texas as the asshole... Hmmm, maybe for America. I mean, Battle Mountain, Nevada is known as the armpit of America, Chicago is supposed to be America's broad sholders, and Kansas is the heartland so it might work. I think we'd have to annex Baja California though to really make it work, then we could have Baja California and Florida be the legs with New Mexico and Aizona forming the left buttcheek and the the rest of the South (minus Texas) forming the right.

Too bad the Southern states' economies own all of the Northern states'...have fun waiting in unemployment lines (while we're getting raises and hiring by the thousands with 3% unemployment)and all you have are abandoned 50-year old factories and dead towns. Face it, Northerners, the balance is shifting Westward and Southward and there's nothing you can do about it...South ftw.

I'm moving South as soon as I get the chance...it's a boomtown from Texas to Virginia.

I'm moving South as soon as I get the chance...it's a boomtown from Texas to Virginia.
...what with all the intra-family procreation :p

...what with all the intra-family procreation :p

That's why we own so many guns...they're like orcs, sweeping down from the mountains...there's even rumors of the legendary inbred Balrog deep within the Appalachians and there's no gun in the world that could stop it.

On the assumption this thread is meant as some sort of satire, I say :( not even close to funny, ironic or anything that satire is meant to be, it is just foul mouthed dribbling nonsense.

On the assumption this is meant to be serious, I say :upyours:

That's why we own so many guns...they're like orcs, sweeping down from the mountains...there's even rumors of the legendary inbred Balrog deep within the Appalachians and there's no gun in the world that could stop it.
:eek:

Anyone who swears that much over such a minor issue has deeply-seeded anger which is poisoning their soul and degrading their humanity

:eek:

Not even Cthulhu ventures in to the deep Appalachians during the summer...

Not even Cthulhu ventures in to the deep Appalachians during the summer...
lol, is that the mating season?

lol, is that the mating season?

Yes...there's a trail of slime for miles.

Yeah, we should give the south to Mexico.

Except CA.


And Las vegas.


They can have the rest.


Especially Pheonix and everyplace in Mississippi.

Oh, and we get to keep Florida, too.
The hell I am going to be a Mexican citizen.

Anyone who swears that much over such a minor issue has deeply-seeded anger which is poisoning their soul and degrading their humanity

A minor issue? Sectionalism is still very much alive and well.

Listen, dweeb ... if they ever wanna give the world an enema, Manchester is where they'll stick it in! :D
*CanuckHeaven makes note that Eut will defend Texas but thinks California is the land of "fruits and nuts". Must be all them darn liberals living there?

The word fuck kind of blends together with everything else so I didn't quite get what that guy had to say. He sounds half deranged anyway.

You know the funniest part of this is all the people responding like the OP is the one who actualy wrote it instead of copying it from elsewhere.

I blame the South for everything. They're my scapegoat. Is there a problem in the world? The south did it! Damned rebels. Sherman is my hero.

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.


Ooohh, somebody needs a nap. (As well as remedial history, civics, and English courses, or has the author even taken those courses yet?)
I was going to take this apart point by point, but there are just too many errors. Come back when you know US history and culture.

You know the funniest part of this is all the people responding like the OP is the one who actualy wrote it instead of copying it from elsewhere.

Yeah, you see a lot of that in this thread. And I'm sure we'll see more before it's over.

Typical Southerner ... A bunch of smoking, obese, devolved, English-mangling, sister-banging, pretentious, war-mongering, homophobic, Republicans.
I've always wanted to bang my sister. :D

Yeah, you see a lot of that in this thread. And I'm sure we'll see more before it's over.

Of course. People don't pay attention.

I do have one request though. Could the rant be censored? Yeah, I know free speech, yada yada yada, but I'm sure none of the meaning is lost when you turn it into f*ck...

it would be easy, just copy the origional post onto a word document or somesuch and use the "replace" function. Also, embracing the rant with quote brackets would prevent some confusion (although it certainly wouldn't go away entirely.)

I've seen that rant before. It would have some valid points if it weren't so poorly written.

Some of the thirteen colonies were in the South. Many of the first presidents were from the South. There has been a movement to the Sun Belt for the last fifty years, displacing the founding father's descendants. So how the fuck did the North East found the country?

Some of the thirteen colonies were in the South. Many of the first presidents were from the South. There has been a movement to the Sun Belt for the last fifty years, displacing the founding father's descendants. So how the fuck did the North East found the country?
Uh, who are you expecting to respond to this?

Some of the thirteen colonies were in the South. Many of the first presidents were from the South. There has been a movement to the Sun Belt for the last fifty years, displacing the founding father's descendants. So how the fuck did the North East found the country?
The dec. of independence was made and signed in Philly, which is, drum roll please, NORTH!

Give me a damn cookie.

Uh, who are you expecting to respond to this?
*coughs*

A bunch of smoking, obese, devolved, English-mangling, sister-banging, pretentious, war-mongering, homophobic, Republicans.
Nope.
Though I do smoke. I'm a reasonably trim, close to perfect-English, sister(oops, never mind that one), not too pretentious, anti-war, gay friendly, liberal. From Texas. No, Texas liberal is not an oxymoron.
BK!!!! :fluffle: :fluffle: :fluffle:

As a displaced northerner, I must say, the only thing that ticks me off about the South is the way you people drink your tea. Or rather, the way you drink tea along with your sugar.

As a displaced northerner, I must say, the only thing that ticks me off about the South is the way you people drink your tea. Or rather, the way you drink tea along with your sugar.


LOL....so you dont like Southern sweet tea?...the house wine of the South;)

As a displaced northerner, I must say, the only thing that ticks me off about the South is the way you people drink your tea. Or rather, the way you drink tea along with your sugar.
I am a displaced northerner as well. Born and lived in Illinois for 13/14 of my life. Now a Texan. Considering my school has a 30% asian population it barely is hick.

LOL....so you dont like Southern sweet tea?...the house wine of the South;)

My friends and I have the most fascinating arguments on the subject.:p

I am a displaced northerner as well. Born and lived in Illinois for 13/14 of my life. Now a Texan. Considering my school has a 30% asian population it barely is hick.

Well, I live in the heart of midtown Atlanta, so I don't have much contact with anyone who could be called a "hick".

*coughs*
Yeah I was meaning that as a joke reflecting that the writer of this is probably never going to see this thread, but than you had to ruin it.:mad: ;) :p

My friends and I have the most fascinating arguments on the subject.:p


I see youre in Atlanta. You should visit some of the small Southern towns to get the real experiences. Atl is getting to be like a mini-Manhattan. How do you like the traffic? I'm about 70 miles from there and I'd rather take a beating that drive in Atlanta traffic.

I see youre in Atlanta. You should visit some of the small Southern towns to get the real experiences. Atl is getting to be like a mini-Manhattan. How do you like the traffic? I'm about 70 miles from there and I'd rather take a beating that drive in Atlanta traffic.

I walk. :p

either that or the subway.

As a displaced northerner, I must say, the only thing that ticks me off about the South is the way you people drink your tea. Or rather, the way you drink tea along with your sugar.

Interesting. As a displaced southerner, the only thing that ticks me off about the North is the way you people drink your tea (without sugar).

Of course, I seem to have made more progress than you. My New Hampshirese (?) friend is now bowing to the superiority of sweet tea.

I've always wanted to bang my sister. :D
You're a sick, sick puppy.

Yeah I was meaning that as a joke reflecting that the writer of this is probably never going to see this thread, but than you had to ruin it.:mad: ;) :p
:fluffle:

Interesting. As a displaced southerner, the only thing that ticks me off about the North is the way you people drink your tea (without sugar).

Of course, I seem to have made more progress than you. My New Hampshirese (?) friend is now bowing to the superiority of sweet tea.

That traitor. :p

I'm the NSer that fluffles you in your sleep.
Fluffle me in my sleep and you'll have a short but intense discussion with my friends: Smith and Wesson. :D

Fluffle me in my sleep and you'll have a short but intense discussion with my friends: Smith and Wesson. :D
*gets the chloroform*
:fluffle:

Too much fuck spoils the rant.

Actually, any fuck spoils a rant. Its a great word to pad a sentence for people without anything intelligent to say.

Too much fuck spoils the rant.

Actually, any fuck spoils a rant. Its a great word to pad a sentence for people without anything intelligent to say.

It's been discussed.

So let's look at it from another angle. Too much F*ck also spoils the sheets, and the carpet, and the dog, and whatever else you use...

It's been discussed.

So let's look at it from another angle. Too much F*ck also spoils the sheets, and the carpet, and the dog, and whatever else you use...
Sandpaper?

Sandpaper?Like this? (http://img19.photobucket.com/albums/v58/Kerig/grate_toiletpaper.jpg)

You're a sick, sick puppy.
I know. :fluffle: :D