Aust
13-03-2006, 17:51
OOC: I just thought I'd repost this, with a few additions, to see what the lastest generation made of it...
In the most holy temple in Sirocco lies the first edition of the NationStates Bible, a magical book (or so it is said) that even right now is being written and re-written. The High Priest Klop Grdzak'iplkkl had come here for some solace, where no-one would mispronounce his name. He looked at the dusty book sitting on its pedestal. He picked it up...
Ye Olde Testament
the first book of the NS Bible was The Book of Perl. Quite what it was about had mystified theologians for centuries. At first glance it was simply huge strings of brackets and numbers with no apparent meaning, though some claimed it contained the secret of The Source Code. Whatever that was.
The second and fourth books were The Book of The FAQ and The Book of Announcements and Stickies. The Holy NS church had schismed many times over the contents.
The third book however... The Book of Statistics... it was simply filled from end to end with numbers detailing the GDPs and populations of existing countries. It was massive. Klop peered at some spidery text. It was up-to-date too, though how, he couldn't imagine.
The fifth book was simply called The Book of Joshua and seemed to describe the journey of a nation led by King Josh out of the Pacific into a new region. Religious leaders had agreed that it was probably put in as a little comic relief since it was quite funny the way the King had enforced nudity and embarrassed himslef while giving a speech in very cold weather.
The sixth book, The Book of Moderators, didn't say much. Just how a particular nation kept getting 'DEAT'ed (this word had caused much fuss but it was now agreed that it should be translated as 'preened') for breaking the rules.
The seventh book, The Book of Jolt, supposed the newest detailing the move to 'The New Server' and what happened thereafter. It was the longest and most interesting containing long texts about the Great Crash and the Redesign.
Klop flicked through the few next books... Ruthless... 1 Samuel, 2 Samuel (apparently about some 'UN Multis' who weren't very clever)... 1 Delegates 2 Delegates... 1 The Archive Forum, 2 the Archive Forum... then there were the four books of some ancient nations who had a lot to say and, ah... his favourite book:
The Book of National Anthems was interesting. It detailed the scores and lyrics of every nation in the world. What's more, the priests had discovered you could hear them if you simply read out its name with the page open. This was the biggest book and it took a long while for him to get past it, (though he had been intrigued by one anthem which was apparently the note of B flat repeated for six minutes) and on to the next book.
The Book of Mottos contained every single motto in the world. Quite why was beyond the priests.
The rest of the testament was just the wise words of past leaders. Almost forgotten now, but not quite.
Ye Newe And Improved Testament
The four Gospel Books was where most of the important stuff was, as many theogists had agreed. It detailed the First Coming of the Founder. The ability to be known as the Founder of a region. It was all very impressive.
After that was the Book of Roleplays. Some had ventured that these were made-up stories and that the real truths where in the Archive volumes. No one was really sure. The book of -Rome-ans was even weirder. t
After that there were the two books of Corinthe. Or the telegrams to Corinthe as they were known. Why they were there was a mystery, but occasionally a government official would enter to see 'what the latest intelligence' was as new ones appeared in it from nowhere. There were a few more books of telegrams (including the ones to a nation called Thessalonia. 1 Thessalonians had been telling them what to do and the second one was mostly made up of the sender (someone called Pol apparently) asking why they were sending back telegrams telling him to sod off.
Klop skipped past the rest of the books, they were mostly telegrams as well, but from old, dead nations and of no obvious importance. The last book however... the book of Game Over was something the church had schismed over a lot. It was like a shredder that thinned the religion into tiny pieces, all of which interpreted it differently. It was hard to say what would happen but trillions of people would all be wiped out. It was a scary thought.
Klop heaved the last page over and shuffled back into the temple. The other priests were playing Twister, he could tell from the muffled swearing. He grinned to himself thoughtfully as he prepared for a new day of sermons and saving people from Hell... even though Sirocco was pretty unlikely to go there because, as the King had said, he liked the region they were in fine and at least the neighbours didn't try to shove red-hot pokers up your wotsit when politicking. He stepped outside and breathed some fresh air into his lungs, looking forward to a brand new day of religion, religion, religion.
"Amen to that," he said aloud.
In the most holy temple in Sirocco lies the first edition of the NationStates Bible, a magical book (or so it is said) that even right now is being written and re-written. The High Priest Klop Grdzak'iplkkl had come here for some solace, where no-one would mispronounce his name. He looked at the dusty book sitting on its pedestal. He picked it up...
Ye Olde Testament
the first book of the NS Bible was The Book of Perl. Quite what it was about had mystified theologians for centuries. At first glance it was simply huge strings of brackets and numbers with no apparent meaning, though some claimed it contained the secret of The Source Code. Whatever that was.
The second and fourth books were The Book of The FAQ and The Book of Announcements and Stickies. The Holy NS church had schismed many times over the contents.
The third book however... The Book of Statistics... it was simply filled from end to end with numbers detailing the GDPs and populations of existing countries. It was massive. Klop peered at some spidery text. It was up-to-date too, though how, he couldn't imagine.
The fifth book was simply called The Book of Joshua and seemed to describe the journey of a nation led by King Josh out of the Pacific into a new region. Religious leaders had agreed that it was probably put in as a little comic relief since it was quite funny the way the King had enforced nudity and embarrassed himslef while giving a speech in very cold weather.
The sixth book, The Book of Moderators, didn't say much. Just how a particular nation kept getting 'DEAT'ed (this word had caused much fuss but it was now agreed that it should be translated as 'preened') for breaking the rules.
The seventh book, The Book of Jolt, supposed the newest detailing the move to 'The New Server' and what happened thereafter. It was the longest and most interesting containing long texts about the Great Crash and the Redesign.
Klop flicked through the few next books... Ruthless... 1 Samuel, 2 Samuel (apparently about some 'UN Multis' who weren't very clever)... 1 Delegates 2 Delegates... 1 The Archive Forum, 2 the Archive Forum... then there were the four books of some ancient nations who had a lot to say and, ah... his favourite book:
The Book of National Anthems was interesting. It detailed the scores and lyrics of every nation in the world. What's more, the priests had discovered you could hear them if you simply read out its name with the page open. This was the biggest book and it took a long while for him to get past it, (though he had been intrigued by one anthem which was apparently the note of B flat repeated for six minutes) and on to the next book.
The Book of Mottos contained every single motto in the world. Quite why was beyond the priests.
The rest of the testament was just the wise words of past leaders. Almost forgotten now, but not quite.
Ye Newe And Improved Testament
The four Gospel Books was where most of the important stuff was, as many theogists had agreed. It detailed the First Coming of the Founder. The ability to be known as the Founder of a region. It was all very impressive.
After that was the Book of Roleplays. Some had ventured that these were made-up stories and that the real truths where in the Archive volumes. No one was really sure. The book of -Rome-ans was even weirder. t
After that there were the two books of Corinthe. Or the telegrams to Corinthe as they were known. Why they were there was a mystery, but occasionally a government official would enter to see 'what the latest intelligence' was as new ones appeared in it from nowhere. There were a few more books of telegrams (including the ones to a nation called Thessalonia. 1 Thessalonians had been telling them what to do and the second one was mostly made up of the sender (someone called Pol apparently) asking why they were sending back telegrams telling him to sod off.
Klop skipped past the rest of the books, they were mostly telegrams as well, but from old, dead nations and of no obvious importance. The last book however... the book of Game Over was something the church had schismed over a lot. It was like a shredder that thinned the religion into tiny pieces, all of which interpreted it differently. It was hard to say what would happen but trillions of people would all be wiped out. It was a scary thought.
Klop heaved the last page over and shuffled back into the temple. The other priests were playing Twister, he could tell from the muffled swearing. He grinned to himself thoughtfully as he prepared for a new day of sermons and saving people from Hell... even though Sirocco was pretty unlikely to go there because, as the King had said, he liked the region they were in fine and at least the neighbours didn't try to shove red-hot pokers up your wotsit when politicking. He stepped outside and breathed some fresh air into his lungs, looking forward to a brand new day of religion, religion, religion.
"Amen to that," he said aloud.