NationStates Jolt Archive

It’s a bad time in my life to be an atheist. I’d so love to be able to blaspheme right now and mean it.

You see, I’ve been employed for about a month now. Yes, it’s been tough getting up at noon and watching daytime TV for five hours, but somehow I’ve struggled through. Anyway, as a consequence of this, most of my money has been frittered away on frivolities like food and electricity. So, I dusted off the old CV and went looking for employment. No luck for three weeks. Plenty of nicely typed rejection letters though.

Then, just as I was resigning myself to a life of terminal-welfare scrounging, a friend who I hadn’t talked to in about six months called and told me that his company was hiring. And he promised me the job, in a nod-and-a-wink kind of way. All I had to do was attend an interview and not make a show of myself.

Life was good. So I went out on the lash.

And now I’m struck down with the flu. I’m dripping and hocking up mucus everywhere. I’m sweating like a paedophile in a playground and I can barely speak without covering whoever I’m talking to in flem. My chances of making a good impression are below zero.

So, I need all your folk remedies, old wives tales and voodoo traditions. What do you when you need to beat off disease and can’t afford a doctor? I need to be well for this Wednesday.

I usually drink lots of tea with rum when I'm sick.

I don't know if that actually helps or not, but it doesn't matter anymore when you've drunk enough of it.

sleep, bed, water... and lots of it.

It’s a bad time in my life to be an atheist. I’d so love to be able to blaspheme right now and mean it.

You see, I’ve been employed for about a month now. Yes, it’s been tough getting up at noon and watching daytime TV for five hours, but somehow I’ve struggled through. Anyway, as a consequence of this, most of my money has been frittered away on frivolities like food and electricity. So, I dusted off the old CV and went looking for employment. No luck for three weeks. Plenty of nicely typed rejection letters though.

Then, just as I was resigning myself to a life of terminal-welfare scrounging, a friend who I hadn’t talked to in about six months called and told me that his company was hiring. And he promised me the job, in a nod-and-a-wink kind of way. All I had to do was attend an interview and not make a show of myself.

Life was good. So I went out on the lash.

And now I’m struck down with the flu. I’m dripping and hocking up mucus everywhere. I’m sweating like a paedophile in a playground and I can barely speak without covering whoever I’m talking to in flem. My chances of making a good impression are below zero.

So, I need all your folk remedies, old wives tales and voodoo traditions. What do you when you need to beat off disease and can’t afford a doctor? I need to be well for this Wednesday.

Drink Vitamin C.
Mix up tea, lemon, honey, cough syrup (preferably a natural one), ginger and some milk. Make about two pints of it. Heat it up and drink it under 3 or 4 blankets, as much as you can, as often as you can. If it doesn't kill you, it'll make you stronger.
I call it João's Nietzschean Potion. =P

If you can give up pappers showing that you are a reliable employee and have the right qualifications. Even if your sick, it shouldn't matter. If you don't get the job, suspicious napoleonistic motives on your friends part aside, it would be something to bring up.

All in all, don't stress about it. Have you been chugging water to flush your system? Eating normally? Wait, no, healthily? Getting enough sleep? I recommend lots of horseradish, if you can stand eating that stuff. Clears up everything, but I don't know if you have that problem. Otherwise, go with really spice rich foods.

If you do get the job, I'd personally keep looking for greener pastures.

lots of sleep, and drink lots of liquids( things like hot tea are best, tryand avod mik or dairy, they make flem worse). dont eat any thing fryed, its garented to make your flem issue worse.
if you need a good cough sryup
take one table spoon honey, one tablespoon lemon juice, and one tablespoon eather rum or whisky and mix it to gether and microwave it- drink. it should help clear your lungs out.

Drink lots and lots of tea and/or hot blackcurrent squash. Alternatively hot honey and lemon (in hot water obv, not neat) with the hiney and lemon added to taste.

So, I need all your folk remedies, old wives tales and voodoo traditions. What do you when you need to beat off disease and can’t afford a doctor? I need to be well for this Wednesday.

Tylennol should take care of the shakes and sweats. Take a bigger dose than you usually take for aches and pains the night before your interview and the morning of. If there's a place nearby where you can get herbal supplies, slippery elm should give you a cast iron stomach. Boil a spoonful of that in a cup of hot water and drink twice a day until your interview. It's not as good as marijuana, but it's legal, and almost as easy to get. If you've got the broader spectrum of flu symptoms then take Dayquil, or your local equivalent, along with a small dose of Tylennol if your fever is really as bad as you say.

i have a cold myself... we can be sick-buddies! :D :p

Drink lots and lots of fluid, preferably hot herbal tea; eat light, easily digestible food; lots of vitamin C.

Sleep.

Keep warm, but also get some fresh air (i.e. at least make sure to open the windows once in a while).

Sleep.

Take some analgesic like Tylenol or Aspirin (though something containing Ibuprofen should work even better, but I don't know any other UK/US brands)

If it's still really bad on Tuesday night, I'd think about maybe taking an over the counter flu medicine on Wednesday.
I did that once, and it completely cleared the thing up for the day.
Of course it also made the following days so much worse and dragged it all out even longer, which is why I never took it again, but in this case it might be worth it.

Good luck with getting well & getting the job. :)

....
Its called airborne you get it at the drugstore

Slice a pigeon in half, and tie one half onto your chest using a rope previously used to truss a pig. Eat the other half raw.

If that fails...
Take two hamster tails, put one up each nostril, smear blackcurrant jam round your mouth, then go moon police while singing the Cuban national anthem.

Either of these may work, in which case I take full credit. I accept no responsibility for any adverse affects that may occur from following my advice.

I’m sweating like a paedophile in a playground

This made me laugh.

It’s a bad time in my life to be an atheist. I’d so love to be able to blaspheme right now and mean it.

You see, I’ve been employed for about a month now. Yes, it’s been tough getting up at noon and watching daytime TV for five hours, but somehow I’ve struggled through. Anyway, as a consequence of this, most of my money has been frittered away on frivolities like food and electricity. So, I dusted off the old CV and went looking for employment. No luck for three weeks. Plenty of nicely typed rejection letters though.

Then, just as I was resigning myself to a life of terminal-welfare scrounging, a friend who I hadn’t talked to in about six months called and told me that his company was hiring. And he promised me the job, in a nod-and-a-wink kind of way. All I had to do was attend an interview and not make a show of myself.

Life was good. So I went out on the lash.

And now I’m struck down with the flu. I’m dripping and hocking up mucus everywhere. I’m sweating like a paedophile in a playground and I can barely speak without covering whoever I’m talking to in flem. My chances of making a good impression are below zero.

So, I need all your folk remedies, old wives tales and voodoo traditions. What do you when you need to beat off disease and can’t afford a doctor? I need to be well for this Wednesday.

Plenty of fluids. Especially teas and juices. Keep up your vitamins. Especially C.

Thee's also a product on the market called Airborne. It's in the U.S.. If it's elsewhere, I can't say. But I tried it for the last cold I was coming down with and I barely got it at all. Within 24 hours, my cold was shutting down.

Airborne is a tablet that dissolves in water like an alka seltzer. It is basically a megadose of vitamin C, with some zinc and echinacea(an herb that is supposed to improve immune response). Whether it was the Airborne itself, or the placebo effect, I don't care. My body kicked that cold's ass! :)

Its called airborne you get it at the drugstore

:)

Masturbate. Repeatedly. It'll cure you of any ailment.

Masturbate. Repeatedly. It'll cure you of any ailment.

Except carpal tunnel syndrome. :p

Except carpal tunnel syndrome. :p

Or impotence.

Or obsessive compulsive disorder.

Or priapism.

Or....

:p

Orange juice, vitamin C, zinc, echinacea, chicken soup (preferably homemade), hot tea with honey, hot toddies, lots of rest and hot baths. It won't cure you, but pampering yourself never hurts.

This made me laugh.

LMAO, me too...

Fluctuations.

/Apparently, I have a reputation up to which I have to live...

Is anybody not an athiest? Anybody at all?

Is anybody not an athiest? Anybody at all?

Our science-based propaganda we call "facts" and "common sense" has been quite successful.

Our science-based propaganda we call "facts" and "common sense" has been quite successful.

I don't care what's propaganda and what's not, it was an honest question.

I don't care what's propaganda and what's not, it was an honest question.

And here I was, thinking it was a poor cliché of a rhetorical device...

Is anybody not an athiest? Anybody at all?

I'm a christian. But viruses have a very strong rapport with God, and the last thing I'd do is try to out-pray them. So I'm forced to fall back on godless science. :p

Is anybody not an athiest? Anybody at all?
I'm theist!

Drink lots of boilo.

Boilo recipe #1: Crock pot style

2 oranges (med-large size)
2 lemons
1 small box raisins (about 1 1/2 ounces)
8 oz honey
12 oz whiskey (or more, to taste). Use Four Roses, or Seagrams 7, or something similar. At least 80 proof (40% alcohol).
1/2 to 1 teaspoon each of any or all of these spices: Cinnamon, Nutmeg, Cloves, Caraway seed, Anise seed


Make this in a crock pot. It's easier than cooking on the stove and much less likely to overcook or scorch. For the quantities shown here, a small (1.5 quart) crock pot will do.

Peel the oranges and lemons. Cut up the fruit and squeeze them into the crock pot. A garlic press works, or you can use some kind of juicer or fruit squeezer if you have one. Put the remaining fruit pulp into the crock pot as well.

Add the raisins, honey, and spices. Stir.

NOTE: do not add whiskey yet!

Start the crock pot and let the mixture cook for about 2-4 hours. Stir occasionally. It's done when the fruit pulp gets "cooked-down".

Strain into a pitcher. Mash down the fruit in the strainer to get all the liquid. NOW add the whiskey to the pitcher and stir. If you cook the whiskey, even for a short time, the alcohol will start to evaporate (and who wants that to happen??). Taste, and add more whiskey to your liking.

Serve hot in shot glasses, espresso cups, or coffee mugs. After the first round, each individual serving can be heated in the microwave.

This recipe makes about 12 ounces of "virgin" boilo. Add 12 ounces of whiskey to this and you get 24 ounces of coal region nectar, enough for 12-18 servings.

Boilo recipe #2: Stovetop style

1 bottle whiskey (any relatively cheap, blended whiskey will do)
Several oranges. Quantity depends on how much you wish to make. Use at least 4.
Same number of lemons
1/4 cup raisins
2 tablespoons sugar
2 cups of honey
2 cinnamon sticks


Boilo is traditionally made during the Christmas and New Year's holiday. It's great on those cold winter nights. Beware, this can knock you for a loop! Cheers!

Peel the oranges and lemons and cut into quarters. Squeeze the fruit into a pot, then throw in the remaining fruit pulp. Add some water (some people use ginger ale). Add the remaining ingredients EXCEPT the whiskey. Cook everything at a slow simmer, stirring constantly. This will take about 15-20 minutes. If necessary, add orange juice and a bit more water. The color should be a yellow-orange. Don't overcook; the name is misleading. You don't want to boil this. Then slowly stir in the whiskey. Be careful - this can catch fire if splashed on the stove. Keep adding whiskey to taste. It's not uncommon to use the whole bottle. Simmer for just a few more minutes once the whiskey is added.

Strain and serve hot in shot glasses (a regular glass may crack). Drink in sips. Individual servings can warmed later in a microwave.

To above post: Glögg?

It’s a bad time in my life to be an atheist. I’d so love to be able to blaspheme right now and mean it.

You see, I’ve been employed for about a month now. Yes, it’s been tough getting up at noon and watching daytime TV for five hours, but somehow I’ve struggled through. Anyway, as a consequence of this, most of my money has been frittered away on frivolities like food and electricity. So, I dusted off the old CV and went looking for employment. No luck for three weeks. Plenty of nicely typed rejection letters though.

Then, just as I was resigning myself to a life of terminal-welfare scrounging, a friend who I hadn’t talked to in about six months called and told me that his company was hiring. And he promised me the job, in a nod-and-a-wink kind of way. All I had to do was attend an interview and not make a show of myself.

Life was good. So I went out on the lash.

And now I’m struck down with the flu. I’m dripping and hocking up mucus everywhere. I’m sweating like a paedophile in a playground and I can barely speak without covering whoever I’m talking to in flem. My chances of making a good impression are below zero.

So, I need all your folk remedies, old wives tales and voodoo traditions. What do you when you need to beat off disease and can’t afford a doctor? I need to be well for this Wednesday.
How do you know how a Pedo sweats at a/the playground...

Avoid wheat, caffeine, alcohol, dairy and fried foods, as these suppress your immune system. Ingest fluids and vitamin c.

Fluctuations.

/Apparently, I have a reputation up to which I have to live...
What, and not even an honorary mention of "flem"? People are disappointed everywhere.

a bottle of vodka has always worked wonders for me. I feel fucking great after drinking that much and all flu symptoms are gone completely.
Unfortunately some do tend to return the following morning. Which is why I recommend you knock back the vodka only an hour before the interview. It'll make you appear more sociable and friendly as well, which is always a plus in interviews.
Of course, if you were to get the job they'd be expecting the same cheerful affable guy they interviewed. In which case you will have to maintain the drinking. In the afternoons when it starts to wear off and you need to use the bathroom it's good to stake out a path that has few obstacles yet many side-things such as bookcases to lean against or potplants to admire (or use if you run out of time). Another good way is to follow the carpet pattern (unless it's a zigzag, in which case don't). Always hold a pen in your hand and a piece of paper when sitting at your desk. That way anyone walking by will think you're deep in concentration.
Hope you take my advice. I'm certain it'll help.

To above post: Glögg?
There might be different names for different countries, Bioilo is the Lith. name.