NationStates Jolt Archive

ENGLAND EXPECTS THAT EVERY MAN SHALL DO HIS DUTY

The New British Imperialist Party - Manifesto

http://www.simonlevack.com/union%20flag.gif

Welcome to the New British Imperialist Party manifesto, old boy. It's absolutely spiffing to see you, wotwot! Throughout this manifesto I'll do my best to convince you of the benefits to nationstates that would come from the site moving into the light of Britannic civilisation, wot!

Key Points

1) The drinking of tea is mandatory. Any member of NationStates who does not drink at least one cup every 12 hours will get a jolly good talking to! 'Coffee' is banned.

2) Watching (and waving a Union Flag during) the Last Night of the Proms is compulsorary.

3) Anyone from a former part of the British Empire is to be referred to as a "damn colonial".

4) Anyone not from a former part of the British Empire or Britain is to be referred to as a "damn foreigner".

5) The manufacture of tweed jackets, bowler hats and umbrellas is to be subsidised.

6) NationStates shall invest vast sums of money into building a Royal Navy.

7) The word "Empire" must be pronounced "Emparh" with reference to the British Empire.

8) Only the Union Flag, the flag of Scotland, the flag of England or the flag of a Commonwealth Realm may be chosen for your national flag.

9) All national mottos must include "Rule Britannia" or "God Save the Queen".

10) All national currencies must be the "<something> Pound".

11) Instead of warnings, forum bans or deletions, the primary method of enforcing NS rules will be to send in a gunboat.

12) Celebrating the battles of Agincourt, Trafalgar and Waterloo is compulsorary on pain of removal of tea rations.

13) An official moratorium is to be put in place upon the phrases "Well done" and "Congratulations". Instead, the phrase "Jolly good show!" must be used.

14) It is compulsory to moan about the "bloody weather" at least once per day, or at any time when noticing the bloody weather.

15) NationStates is to apply for Commonwealth membership and recognise the Queen as head of state.

Now that that's over, you can all go out and jolly well join up, wot!

God Save the Queen!

Most honourable Members of Her Majestys Emprie

Lord Sir Aust, MBE, OBE, CBE (president)
Lord Sir The blessed Chris, MBE OBE CBE (Chairman)
Lord Sir Skinny87 MBE OBE CBE (First Lord of the Admiralty)
Lord Sir Praetonia MBE OBE CBE (Duke of Westminister)
Lord Sir Randomlittleisland MBE OBE CBE (Minister for Tea)
Lord Sir BogMarsh MBE, OBE CBE(Minister for carrying coals to Newcastle)
Lord Sir Artitsa MBE OBE CBE (Minister of Her Majesties Snowiest Colony, Canada.)
Lord Sir AlanBstard MBE OBE CBE (Lord High Constable)
Sir Europa Maxima MBE, OBE (Most Honourable member)
Sir Randomlittleisland MBE, OBE (Most Honourable member)
Sir Oxfordland MBE, OBE (Most Honourable member)
Sir Turquoise Days MBE, OBE (Most Honourable member)
Sir The Atlantian islands MBE,OBE (Most Honourable member)
Sir Rhoderick MBE, OBE (Most Honourable member)
Sir The Tribes Of Longton MBE, OBE (Most Honourable member)
Sir The Infinite Dunes MBE, OBE (Most Honourable member)
Sir Hamilay MBE, OBE (Most honourable member)
Sir Philosopy MBE OBE (most Honourable Member)
Lord Sir AlanBstard MBE OBE CBE (Lord High Constable)
Sir Questers MBE OBE (most Honourable Member)





*Aust accepts no legal, moral or any other kind of responsibility for the un-PC statements made in his manifesto. Wot!

Wot then - no cricket or rugby?


Furthermore, pounds should be reserved for Britain, the colonials can makedo with shillings.



( this message was brought by Imperialists for Truth )

Wot then - no cricket or rugby?


Furthermore, pounds should be reserved for Britain, the colonials can makedo with shillings.

( this message was brought by Imperialists for Truth )
:eek: We colonials, faithful to the Empire, would definitely not contend for mere shillings. Pounds it would have to be.

:eek: We colonials, faithful to the Empire, would definitely not contend for mere shillings. Pounds it would have to be.

Kenya,Uganda,Somaliland, Tanzania....


This message was paid for by the Imperialists for Truth. In Guineas....

Kenya,Uganda,Somaliland, Tanzania....


This message was paid for by the Imperialists for Truth. In Guineas....
Nay, South Africa.

(unsurprisingly, and in spite of the Boer War, amongst many of us white South Africans the Empire is still loved dearly)

Jolly good show. Top hole old chap.

*offers Aust a cookie and a cup of tea*

I think you will find that manifestos and displays are for foreigners.

Many Johnny Foreigners are on this forum right now, looking up to us in wonderment and adoration.

I wonder if we should really confuse them with all this?

As long as we have cricket, rugby (union as well as league), football, curry and tea, then all is well.

I have a pack of fruit shortcake to go with the tea, is anyone would care for one?

I say, good job old bean.

*spins prop and pulls down flying goggles*

Must dash, I have to take tea with the delightful Miss Wintergreen in Convent Garden. Chocks away chaps!

I rather think I am entitled to a position of eminence herein, being a veteran and all.... any other such veterans fromthe last campaign?

*tries an accent*


EEyn Smith, EEyn Smith.... Redesia, Redesia.







This accent was paid for by the Imperialists for Truth ( who all just HAPPEN to be Dubya-supporters ) .

*tries an accent*


EEyn Smith, EEyn Smith.... Redesia, Redesia.







This accent was paid for by the Imperialists for Truth ( who all just HAPPEN to be Dubya-supporters ) .

It's a colonial chap.

Keep an eye on him.

Jolly good show. Top hole old chap.

*offers Aust a cookie and a cup of tea*Fiend! Thou shalt call that mixture of flour, sugar and chocolate chips a 'biscuit'! Some variants may be called digestives, but biscuit is the generic term. One may also use the terms 'custard cream', 'rich tea', 'ginger nut' or even 'bourbon'.

I say, good job old bean.

*spins prop and pulls down flying goggles*

Must dash, I have to take tea with the delightful Miss Wintergreen in Convent Garden. Chocks away chaps!Convent Garden? Is that a nunnery? I have heard of Covent Garden - home to the splendid Royal Opera House.

Fiend! Thou shalt call that mixture of flour, sugar and chocolate chips a 'biscuit'!


RIGHT HEAD:
Oh, not biscuit.
LEFT HEAD:
All right. All right, not biscuit, but let's kill him anyway.
ALL HEADS:
Right!
MIDDLE HEAD:
He buggered off.
RIGHT HEAD:
So he has. He's scarpered.

http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/grail/inlines/10_three.jpg

Esteemed contemporaries, I propose we all assume political pseudonyms from British history and literature to better reflect our Britishness....

Hah! I ain't British. I'm a Londener I'll have you know! And I shall not have my character tainted by your implying that I am British.

Esteemed contemporaries, I propose we all assume political pseudonyms from British history and literature to better reflect our Britishness....


Can I be Harald Hardraada, please?


( OOC :I really like this! )

Hah! I ain't British. I'm a Londener I'll have you know! And I shall not have my character tainted by your implying that I am British.

Notice the name dear fellow, New British Imperialist Party, after all, we are compelled to keep the barbarians content.

We're all English really, its merely a front

Hah! I ain't British. I'm a Londener I'll have you know! And I shall not have my character tainted by your implying that I am British.

Sir, I am a Londoner myself, by birth.

It is part of Britain.

I checked.

Fiend! Thou shalt call that mixture of flour, sugar and chocolate chips a 'biscuit'! Some variants may be called digestives, but biscuit is the generic term. One may also use the terms 'custard cream', 'rich tea', 'ginger nut' or even 'bourbon'.

Now now old chap, keep a stiff upper lip what.

I used that most loathsome of culinary terms merely so that any uncouth foreigners, watching on with awe and admiration, wouldn't be too discombobulated by our vocabulary.

Sir, I am a Londoner myself, by birth.

It is part of Britain.

I checked.
Well it shouldn't. We pay to keep the rest of the country going. It should be our little paything.

1) The drinking of tea is mandatory. Any member of NationStates who does not drink at least one cup every 12 hours will get a jolly good talking to! 'Coffee' is banned.

2) Watching (and waving a Union Flag during) the Last Night of the Proms is compulsorary.

3) Anyone from a former part of the British Empire is to be referred to as a "damn colonial".

4) Anyone not from a former part of the British Empire or Britain is to be referred to as a "damn foreigner".

5) The manufacture of tweed jackets, bowler hats and umbrellas is to be subsidised.

6) NationStates shall invest vast sums of money into building a Royal Navy.

7) The word "Empire" must be pronounced "Emparh" with reference to the British Empire.

8) Only the Union Flag, the flag of Scotland, the flag of England or the flag of a Commonwealth Realm may be chosen for your national flag.

9) All national mottos must include "Rule Britannia" or "God Save the Queen".

10) All national currencies must be the "<something> Pound".

11) Instead of warnings, forum bans or deletions, the primary method of enforcing NS rules will be to send in a gunboat.

12) Celebrating the battles of Agincourt, Trafalgar and Waterloo is compulsorary on pain of removal of tea rations.

13) An official moratorium is to be put in place upon the phrases "Well done" and "Congratulations". Instead, the phrase "Jolly good show!" must be used.

14) It is compulsory to moan about the "bloody weather" at least once per day, or at any time when noticing the bloody weather.

15) NationStates is to apply for Commonwealth membership and recognise the Queen as head of state.


hahaha i love this party. i almost want to vote for you guys instead of my native UDCP :p

Convent Garden? Is that a nunnery? I have heard of Covent Garden - home to the splendid Royal Opera House.
:eek: Rumbled! I'm secretly French >_>

:eek: Rumbled! I'm secretly French >_>

Theres an intruder among the British.....*shifts eyes*

*yells* The Frogs are coming! The Frogs are coming!

I'm secretly an American :cool:

DUHN DUHN DUHHHNNNNNN

The plot thickens....*crackles fingers*

*Starts the day with a nice cuppa*

Hah! I ain't British. I'm a Londener I'll have you know! And I shall not have my character tainted by your implying that I am British.


That's Laaaandanaaaaar.

That's Laaaandanaaaaar.
On behalf of the Colonies... bugger off. You can have your Euro and be happy with it, leave the Tea, cucumber sandwiches and silly talk to us.

Eh, wot, dessent in the ranks? That will not do, eh wot! Good greif sahs get a hold of yourself, we can all use true britsh currency-that is Guinies. Pounds, Shillings Crown and Pence, the way it orght to be, wot! I prepose this as a motion for ther mantefesto, that NS shall use the old style currency instead of this new age rubbish.

I also propose that the barbaric sports of rugby league, American Football (Stealing our name, WOT!) Basketball and Baseball be banned from the Empire. Only the true British sports of Rugby Union, Circket, Football, Tennis, Badminton ect., are to be allowed.

Wot say you sahs?

Bloodeh Southen feeries. Tha's nay idea worran English bloke even looks like. Tha's can't talk proply an' tha's norra chance o' representin' t'Countreh unless thas be includin' traditional English stuff in there, like gravy on yer fish an' chip tea, an a proper pint o' bitter tharaint none of this shandy shite.

Signed:

A. Northener. Buggrit.

campagn Poster, sahs! (Created by moi....:D):
Vote British

http://www.bobnewell.net/nucleus/media/1/20050331-johnbull.jpg

WE WANT YOU! VOTE NEW BRITISH IMPERIAL

My right honourable freind, the Tribes Of Longton, sah! Are you joining?

Since t'leader of th'best parteh int 'ere 'ne'more (Carops, God bless 'is Mancunian soul; not dead like, but 'e's ded ter NS) I may just be joinin' thee.

Bloodeh Southen feeries. Tha's nay idea worran English bloke even looks like. Tha's can't talk proply an' tha's norra chance o' representin' t'Countreh unless thas be includin' traditional English stuff in there, like gravy on yer fish an' chip tea, an a proper pint o' bitter tharaint none of this shandy shite.

Signed:

A. Northener. Buggrit.But just how broad can you go? Because that's tame compared to some people I've heard.

Aust: Do you do realise that the Northerners are at direct odds with the Home counties?

But Good Lord Aust, surely a respectful homage ought to be payed to our unjustly deleted comrade Hogswatch?

Aust: Do you do realise that the Northerners are at direct odds with the Home counties?
You do realise, sah, that I'm a northerner myself, wot! Good greif sah, if where letting the damn frenchys in we can let a few northys in!

But Good Lord Aust, surely a respectful homage ought to be payed to our unjustly deleted comrade Hogswatch?
Indeed sah, and rightly so, should you propose a mesure that would do just that i would ratify it myself, wot!

But just how broad can you go? Because that's tame compared to some people I've heard.
Fuck it, I give up. The northern typing only comes out when I'm making a point - don't ignore the northerners, in this case.

As to how broad I can go - have you ever been to Burnley? A bit less than their average is me. I've deliberately spoken so broad to one southern girl that she couldn't understand me. 'twas funneh, I can tell you.

Indeed sah, and rightly so, should you propose a mesure that would do just that i would ratify it myself, wot!

I propose a minutes silence (not posting will suffice), and a volley of twenty blahdy Britsih, and most definitely not French, cannon!

Indeed sah, and rightly so, should you propose a mesure that would do just that i would ratify it myself, wot!
Could we have a Hogswatch day? It'd bring the whole Discworld reference full circle.

I propose a minutes silence (not posting will suffice), and a volley of twenty blahdy Britsih, and most definitely not French, cannon!
or maybe a poost-hymerious decoration sah? A knighthood and MBE will surfice? Also a Mamorial could be erected, wot?

Could we have a Hogswatch day? It'd bring the whole Discworld reference full circle.
Then, sah, people would not take us seriously, wot!

You do realise, sah, that I'm a northerner myself, wot! Good greif sah, if where letting the damn frenchys in we can let a few northys in!
'We're', sir. If you wish to talk proper English you may as well go the whole hog and do it properly, sir. The Frog and the Yank got in by accident. They shall be expelled and measures shall be taken to make sure this never happens again. Perchance another 100 years war is in order, sir?

'We're', sir. If you wish to talk proper English you may as well go the whole hog and do it properly, sir. The Frog and the Yank got in by accident. They shall be expelled and measures shall be taken to make sure this never happens again. Perchance another 100 years war is in order, sir?
Good greif, sah, they shall all be included in the Empire eventually, especally that damn calonial yank, wot! And less on the sahs, theres a good chap, wot!

And I've confered a Knighthood on all of use, along with verious decorations. Hourable members get a Knighthood, OBE and MBE while people with higher positions get a Lordship and a CBE, wot!

Good greif, sah, they shall all be included in the Empire eventually, especally that damn calonial yank, wot! And less on the sahs, theres a good chap, wot!

And I've confered a Knighthood on all of use, along with verious decorations. Hourable members get a Knighthood, OBE and MBE while people with higher positions get a Lordship and a CBE, wot!Perhaps it is time for sir's afternoon whiskey, aftereight and nap?

Perhaps it is time for sir's afternoon whiskey, aftereight and nap?
I think not sah, though you may if you wish, wot

Oh, and sahs, we need some volenteers to hold party positions, so far President and Chairman are filled, we need ministers, tresure ect.

I shall happily fulfill the position of Correcting niggling mistakes sah, such as that little ect you put in there! I shall also be very condescending to our enemies aaaaand show them very little respect with my polite yet burning insults sah! Whilst remaining perfectly polite to those who are with us, or those who are of a feminine nature!

Oh, and sahs, we need some volenteers to hold party positions, so far President and Chairman are filled, we need ministers, tresure ect.

Those being?

Those being?
I think we need an Emo minister sah, if only so I can beat him with a stick sah!

Those being?
I'm president sah, your Chairman, as where the only remaining members of the original party, wot!

Bump

'We're', sir. If you wish to talk proper English you may as well go the whole hog and do it properly, sir. The Frog and the Yank got in by accident. They shall be expelled and measures shall be taken to make sure this never happens again. Perchance another 100 years war is in order, sir?
If I may, gentlemen, I feel I should clear up a potential misunderstanding regarding my nationality. In a vain and ultimately misguided attempt to cover up my lack of knowledge regarding the geography of London, I made a claim which I live to regret. I would like to take the opportunity to state that I hail from the fine city of Newcastle, and have never been, nor will be, a 'Frog'.

In an attempt to redeem myself for this appaling lack of manners, I should like to put myself forward for Minister of All Things Naval, in order to continue the fine Frog walloping tradition of the Admiral Lord Collingwood, a fellow Geordie.

Ahthangyou.

If I may, gentlemen, I feel I should clear up a potential misunderstanding regarding my nationality. In a vain and ultimately misguided attempt to cover up my lack of knowledge regarding the geography of London, I made a claim which I live to regret. I would like to take the opportunity to state that I hail from the fine city of Newcastle, and have never been, nor will be, a 'Frog'.

In an attempt to redeem myself for this appaling lack of manners, I should like to put myself forward for Minister of All Things Naval, in order to continue the fine Frog walloping tradition of the Admiral Lord Collingwood, a fellow Geordie.

Ahthangyou.I thought you might be lying. Seeing as you weren't speaking with that outrageous accent.

I'm president sah, your Chairman, as where the only remaining members of the original party, wot!

Blahdy good show!;)

Having seen the deliberate use of incorrect spellings, I certainly can not have any part in this party. Leave the pseudo-phonetics to the Americans with their "colors", "dialogs" and "donuts". The irregularities in our spelling system are part of what makes English what it is. ;)

Having seen the deliberate use of incorrect spellings, I certainly can not have any part in this party. Leave the pseudo-phonetics to the Americans with their "colors", "dialogs" and "donuts". The irregularities in our spelling system are part of what makes English what it is. ;)

Bloody good point, we do implore you to join however.....

Gentlemen, I have returned! I am extremely impressed with what you've all done with the party thus far. Now, we muct continue the fight to ensure every child gets a cup of tea, and the US once again becomes our most sacred colony!

Huzzah!

EDIT: I would like to become Minister of Defense, please sahs! A bigger, better navy - because bigger is better!

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y12/Skinny87/union-jack.gif

The NBIP

Because Tea Really Is That Good!

And whats the parties take on Canada?

And whats the parties take on Canada?

I can't speak for the rest yet, but personally I think Canada is brilliant, wot! Excellent colonial allies, and you produce the finest Maple Syrup!

Excellent, Excellent! For Queen and Country then, wot wot! We are after all, still part of the Emparh!! (Although not legally... but in our hearts I tell yee!)

Canada, wot? Jolly good place Canada, good coloney, nice people if a little French if you ask me.

I would like you all to welcome our new Minister of Defence, Lord Sir Skinny87!

I also propose that the barbaric sports of rugby league, American Football (Stealing our name, WOT!) Basketball and Baseball be banned from the Empire. Only the true British sports of Rugby Union, Circket, Football, Tennis, Badminton ect., are to be allowed.

Wot say you sahs?

Sir,

Why are you writing in such a strange manner? Kindly desist.

Rugby league, rugby union, cricket and association football are fine sports and I suggest we allow anyone to play them.

Furthermore, the British sport of rounders (or baseball as it was reffered to in the eighteenth century) is also an interesting diversion.

Either way, let us not argue, when Johnny Forienger is never happier than arguing with himself. Imagine if he had to argue with an Englishman, he would not be able ot live with himself.

Canada, wot? Jolly good place Canada, good coloney, nice people if a little French if you ask me.

I would like you all to welcome our new Minister of Defence, Lord Sir Skinny87!

Ah yes.

Canadians. Living amongst the French and next to the Americans.

Imagine a gangster spreads terror and struts his stuff, but old age catches up with him and he settles down with nostalgic memories of when all feared him and he did as he pleased.

He has two sons, one is a rude, arrogant, chip off the old block, the other is a devoted if slightly boring chap who looks after his Dad. The old man cannot help but prefer the first son.

Canada, wot? Jolly good place Canada, good coloney, nice people if a little French if you ask me.

I would like you all to welcome our new Minister of Defence, Lord Sir Skinny87!Sir, call it what it actually is. Don't let the pacifists make you name it the Ministry of Defence, when it is indeed the War Office, the Admiralty, and the Air Ministry. Let Lord Skinny87 be the First Lord of the Admiralty and keep the Secretary of State for War and Secretary of State for Air separate and distinct.

Sir,

Why are you writing in such a strange manner? Kindly desist.

Rugby league, rugby union, cricket and association football are fine sports and I suggest we allow anyone to play them.

Furthermore, the British sport of rounders (or baseball as it was reffered to in the eighteenth century) is also an interesting diversion.

Either way, let us not argue, when Johnny Forienger is never happier than arguing with himself. Imagine if he had to argue with an Englishman, he would not be able ot live with himself.
Rugby League, fine sport! WOT! Good greif sah, get a hold of yourself, league should be banned forthwith as a bastadised cousain of our great game, Union, as played in all Public schools. Though the working class does need somthing to applease them, Association Football can do that, wot.

Basball, you may notice is a diffrent sport to roudners completely, sah! basball is a bastidised version of a Roudners, a real mans sport, invesnted by the damn rebles!

Sir, call it what it actually is. Don't let the pacifists make you name it the Ministry of Defence, when it is indeed the War Office, the Admiralty, and the Air Ministry. Let Lord Skinny87 be the First Lord of the Admiralty and keep the Secretary of State for War and Secretary of State for Air separate and distinct.
Indeed, sah you have a good point, i sahll cahnce wthe alloted tital as soon as possable, wot.

I hate to bring this up chaps, but the Canadian Womens U21 defeated the English Womens U21s... marking the first time a Canadian team has defeated a national English team.

Although my tour team did beat a team or two in England, and we'll beat some scots when we come back in august.

After watching The Four Feathers on the telly tonight, it would seem that this political movement would be absolutely top hole. It would be spiffing if you would allow me to join this rather enlightened party.

I hate to bring this up chaps, but the Canadian Womens U21 defeated the English Womens U21s... marking the first time a Canadian team has defeated a national English team.

Although my tour team did beat a team or two in England, and we'll beat some scots when we come back in august.
Wot sah, in wot sport?

After watching The Four Feathers on the telly tonight, it would seem that this political movement would be absolutely top hole. It would be spiffing if you would allow me to join this rather enlightened party.
Of course sah, welcome to the NBIP

May I too join. I wish to run as a candidate for Lord Mayor of Westminster. Or maybe a place in the FCO.

This royal throne of kings, this sceptred isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,—
This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England.

I've changed my mind.

I've changed my mind.
About wot sah?

Oh Aust, you're such a card please post more of your Imperial Brit stuff, we all love it!

One missed ones afternoon tea today at 4 o clock shame on thy! SHAME!
Although i did have my evening drink at 6.30 on the spot.

Oh Aust, you're such a card please post more of your Imperial Brit stuff, we all love it!
jolly good! Would you, sah, like to join the union, wot?

Jolly good British Persons, spiffing even, though missing your afternoon tea is a dreadful shame, eh wot. but it is spiffing that you managed to have your evening drink with such regularity, wot! What was it sah? Sherry, Shandy even!

jolly good! Would you, sah, like to join the union, wot?

Jolly good British Persons, spiffing even, though missing your afternoon tea is a dreadful shame, eh wot. but it is spiffing that you managed to have your evening drink with such regularity, wot! What was it sah? Sherry, Shandy even!

Indeed Aust. We should offer HP the position of Minister of Sarcasm. In fact, I shall put it to the members now:

Who votes for Holy Panooly as Minister of Sarcasm?

Indeed Aust. We should offer HP the position of Minister of Sarcasm. In fact, I shall put it to the members now:

Who votes for Holy Panooly as Minister of Sarcasm?
I do sah! But pehapse we would be better off giving him a bigger tital, wot? First Lord of Sarcasm maybe?

Wot sah, in wot sport?
Rugger of course, of course! WOT?!

Oh, and Ireland (yay!) beat Scotland 15 - 9 in 6 nations taday...

Rugger of course, of course! WOT?!

Oh, and Ireland (yay!) beat Scotland 15 - 9 in 6 nations taday...
Ah, the fine old game, wot. My one true sport... Where, may I enquire, did you tour?

Good Lord! I am usurped!

Good Lord! I am usurped!
I thought you where dead sah! Good god, is it really you? Should you wish to return to your rightful position as leader, sah, I can put you there!

Ah, you can stay as leader if you want old boy. All I ask is that you make me Duke of Westminster and give me a life-time's supply of brandy, wot!

My goodness, it is getting dull now.

http://www.moviemail-online.co.uk/images/small/assembled_officers.jpg
NBIP leadership about to have a spot of tea.

I think, chaps, that we need to up our act. We need to do more posters and propogandia, wot! lets let people know where here! Tally Ho!

[QUOTE=Aust]Ah, the fine old game, wot. My one true sport... Where, may I enquire, did you tour?[QUOTE]

Portsmouth, London, Bath, Brighton, Bristol, Cardiff, Rhumyney

I say chaps, do you need a minister for tea? I think I'd be spiffing as a candidate doncha know. Either way I'd like to join this jolly old party, the foreigners crave role models and we in Britain have been neglecting to provide them with one for far too long.

Ah, you can stay as leader if you want old boy. All I ask is that you make me Duke of Westminster and give me a life-time's supply of brandy, wot!

Baphomet! The Primogentor, the founding father returns. Most revered superior....:p

Meanwhile, I'm declaring myself an oik.
And I think I now actually am in or near Yorkshire.

Not Kidding!

Meanwhile, I'm declaring myself an oik.
And I think I now actually am in or near Yorkshire.

Not Kidding!
Where abouts in Gods Own County sah?

Where abouts in Gods Own County sah?


Linthorpe, m'lord!

Linthorpe, m'lord!
Ah, sah! A good way from me then wot!

Ah, sah! A good way from me then wot!

Hmm, bloody poor showing in rugger and cricket over the weekend no?

Damn foreigners beating us at our bloody sports!

Hmm, bloody poor showing in rugger and cricket over the weekend no?

Damn foreigners beating us at our bloody sports!
Indeed sah! Heads must roll at the highest level. It is my fondest wish that these heads are French.

Indeed sah! Heads must roll at the highest level. It is my fondest wish that these heads are French.

Indeed. Bring forth the longbows!

Meanwhile, I was wondering if the following shadowcabinet post was still open:


Shadow Secretary for Carrying Coals to Newcastle.

Meanwhile, I was wondering if the following shadowcabinet post was still open:


Shadow Secretary for Carrying Coals to Newcastle.
yes sah, it jolly well is. and have you chaps seen the England squad? Disgraceful!! dropping Lewsey adn keeping Cohen, Wot!

yes sah, it jolly well is. and have you chaps seen the England squad? Disgraceful!! dropping Lewsey adn keeping Cohen, Wot!


Not to mention loathsome Johnny Foreigner pretending to be a referee...

Owt of that would'a happened if only the Raj was still in place, m'lord!

Not to mention loathsome Johnny Foreigner pretending to be a referee...

Owt of that would'a happened if only the Raj was still in place, m'lord!
Aye sah! ou are corredct of corse!

What? Where's the beef eating!? :eek:

May we allow that most Britsh of habits smoking good quality shag in a briar while listening to some Noel Coward

May we allow that most Britsh of habits smoking good quality shag in a briar while listening to some Noel Coward



But they've been upping the License to 2 quid six bob...

But they've been upping the License to 2 quid six bob...
yes, sah! Terrable, terrable. maybe we shouled stand against that should we come to power.

Coming to that good sirs, who shall we vote in should we come into pwoer?

Sir,

I would like to join your party. Unfortunately, while I am a big tea drinker I also enjoy the odd cup of coffee. Will this present a problem with my membership application?

If it does, I would like to apply for the post of "Minister for the Eradication of the Evil Drink Coffee" so that I can further the Party's policies while continuing to quietly enjoy the drink myself.

What say you?

I made a single comment on this thread and I now seem to be a member of the party.

I wasn't aware that this was how it worked. I'd like to apologise for my error and request that my name be removed from the membership list at the next available opportunity.

I am not, never have been, and never will be a member of The New British Imperial Party.


ahem

I'm stilll interested in being the Secretary for Carrying Coals to Newcastle - being the only working-class northern oik and all.

Did you see Boro gallantly getting past the stabbing Romans, wot?

What say I, welcome to the party sah!

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=473476

Go vote people!

bump, wot!

M'lord, all is fine... I was, wot, watching the 6 Nations on Auntie Beep.

M'lord, all is fine... I was, wot, watching the 6 Nations on Auntie Beep.
I watched that too, poor show, wot!

I watched that too, poor show, wot!


Not to worry, m'Lord.... there'll always be an England!!!

Ooh... and it IS sunday, isn't it?

Not to worry, m'Lord.... there'll always be an England!!!

Ooh... and it IS sunday, isn't it?
it is, wot!

Which is a splendid oppportunity for hymns, wot?

And did those feet in ancient time
Walk upon England's mountains green?
And was the holy Lamb of God
On England's pleasant pastures seen?

And did the Countenance Divine
Shine forth upon our clouded hills?
And was Jerusalem builded here
Among these dark Satanic mills?

Bring me my bow of burning gold:
Bring me my arrows of desire:
Bring me my spear: O clouds unfold!
Bring me my chariot of fire.

I will not cease from mental fight,
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand
Till we have built Jerusalem
In England's green and pleasant land.

Rule britannia anyone?

Sir, good Aust, Sir!

We have won a seat!

I hope you will be waving the flag in Parliament as our MP!

Gentlemen, the NSCP have requested an alliance with us. Shall we accept?

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10613016&postcount=769

An alliance with those hogwash reactionaries? I think not sah. The Empire was not built on narrow mindedness.
*harrumphs*

Nay, South Africa.

(unsurprisingly, and in spite of the Boer War, amongst many of us white South Africans the Empire is still loved dearly)

I know that General Smuts, one of the top Boers was part of the Imperial War Cabinet in both world wars

An alliance with those hogwash reactionaries? I think not sah. The Empire was not built on narrow mindedness.
*harrumphs*

I would strongly advise such an alliance. We gain considerable amounts of power with a party that shares a lot with this party, ideologically.

M'lords the days of Splendid Isolation are over.

And being stuck out there on the backbenches of the opposition feels very much like sitting in one of them, erm, jobclubs they put you in when the collier is closed.

So if we get offered positions in a coalition... let us stand up and be counted.

I would strongly advise such an alliance. We gain considerable amounts of power with a party that shares a lot with this party, ideologically.
Have you read their manifesto, sah?

They want to give guns to the masses! The Empire will never survive if we give the Damn Colonials weapons!

Have you read their manifesto, sah?

They want to give guns to the masses! The Empire will never survive if we give the Damn Colonials weapons!

It would be an alliance, not a merger. We would gain considerable power and not have to agree on everything - merely broad issues.

An alliance with those hogwash reactionaries? I think not sah. The Empire was not built on narrow mindedness.
*harrumphs*
It's "Emparh", wot! ;) /sips tea, hunts foxes, builds gunships, &c. Repeat./

I'm all for Empire but can't we have the original William Pitt Idea of an Empire Built on Liberty not Commerce? and Instead of "Damn foreigner" shouldent we call them "Bloody foreigner" :D

Well Gentlemen... Churchill cup comes to Canada, June 3rd and June 10th. Canada versus England, Scotland respective dates.

And Guess what? Its being held on my University Pitch! The pitch that I play Rugby on has been host to the all blacks, welsh dragons, frenchies, and now the English and Scottish. Now if we could only get Ireland over here.

And my Birthday is on the 5th! EARLY B-DAY GIFT FROM THE RUGBY GODS!

Well Gentlemen... Churchill cup comes to Canada, June 3rd and June 10th. Canada versus England, Scotland respective dates.

And Guess what? Its being held on my University Pitch! The pitch that I play Rugby on has been host to the all blacks, welsh dragons, frenchies, and now the English and Scottish. Now if we could only get Ireland over here.

And my Birthday is on the 5th! EARLY B-DAY GIFT FROM THE RUGBY GODS!

Lets play up, Play up and play the Game!

Old Empire/Rugby chant before Kitchener posters

It would be an alliance, not a merger. We would gain considerable power and not have to agree on everything - merely broad issues.
But sah, 21.78% plus 5.51% does not equal power! Methinks you have a foreign education, sah!

I propose we only agree to a coalition if the NSCP agrees to all of our manifesto promises, drops their gun control pledge and supports our good friend Aust as the Parliament's Prime Minister!

But sah, 21.78% plus 5.51% does not equal power! Methinks you have a foreign education, sah!

I propose we only agree to a coalition if the NSCP agrees to all of our manifesto promises, drops their gun control pledge and supports our good friend Aust as the Parliament's Prime Minister!

I said we'd gain considerable power by allying with them - they support us, we support them. Of course we'd be the smaller party, that's obvious to anyone who can read. It's either that or we go back to do sweet buggery all - and I know which I prefer.

I said we'd gain considerable power by allying with them - they support us, we support them. Of course we'd be the smaller party, that's obvious to anyone who can read. It's either that or we go back to do sweet buggery all - and I know which I prefer.

Hear, hear!

I said we'd gain considerable power by allying with them - they support us, we support them. Of course we'd be the smaller party, that's obvious to anyone who can read. It's either that or we go back to do sweet buggery all - and I know which I prefer.
I was actually referring to the fact that the coalition would still fail to have a majority in Parliament, so what good would it do?

I was actually referring to the fact that the coalition would still fail to have a majority in Parliament, so what good would it do?

Far more good than doing nothing but growing webs in the backbenches, that's for sure. Plus there will be other parties that could be allied with, or at least cooperate with for votes.

Death to the imperialist pigs!
(opens letters to find taxes from the socialists)
Long live the imperialist pigs!

Far more good than doing nothing but growing webs in the backbenches, that's for sure. Plus there will be other parties that could be allied with, or at least cooperate with for votes.
I would suggest the Silly Party and the Mole Party as more natural Allies, and our first point of call for any coalition.

Sir, good Aust, Sir!

We have won a seat!

I hope you will be waving the flag in Parliament as our MP!
I shall sah! I promise to do my best to uphold the fine treditions of this party, wot! Should a major issue come up i will, of course, refer it back to this thread for voting by our members.
-----------------
As for this talk of an allince, I balive that an allince would lend us power, but we should not be tied down, by this allicne. Should someone come up with a proposial that favours us more we should support it.

However I do think that this allince should be useful. I would accept if the party gives me backing, wot!
-----------------
And the Churchill Cup should be jolly good-wot! england to win again i expect!

As for this talk of an allince, I balive that an allince would lend us power, but we should not be tied down, by this allicne. Should someone come up with a proposial that favours us more we should support it.

However I do think that this allince should be useful. I would accept if the party gives me backing, wot!
Then I shall most certainly back you in this decision, sah! This is the Emparh, after all, and the class structure must be maintained!

Then I shall most certainly back you in this decision, sah! This is the Emparh, after all, and the class structure must be maintained!


It is the protection of Property, Class-structure, and the Church of England, that make England a Green and Pleasant land.

It is the protection of Property, Class-structure, and the Church of England, that make England a Green and Pleasant land.

I say, this has started to get a tad serious. What happened to the tea-drinking and the funny oversized naval hats and the pompous titles of old? We sound like...politicians.

I say, this has started to get a tad serious. What happened to the tea-drinking and the funny oversized naval hats and the pompous titles of old? We sound like...politicians.

*sipps a cuppa*
Sorry, M'Lord... but as a poor workingman, I do think we need to get it all together for Parliament.
*Leaves to deliver a few more coals to Newcastle*

I say, this has started to get a tad serious. What happened to the tea-drinking and the funny oversized naval hats and the pompous titles of old? We sound like...politicians.
Good god no! And i have levied the first proposal before the NS parliment, that to subsadise the making of tweed jackets ect. (Cheak our manesfesto)

I was pondering if I could possibly be a Minister for the most glorious sport of Rugger or the Minister of Her Majesties Snowiest Colony, Canada.

*sipps a cuppa*
Sorry, M'Lord... but as a poor workingman, I do think we need to get it all together for Parliament.
*Leaves to deliver a few more coals to Newcastle*
Ahh, my coals, excellent. Thank you, old bean.

I was pondering if I could possibly be a Minister for the most glorious sport of Rugger or the Minister of Her Majesties Snowiest Colony, Canada.
Course sah!

But what aboot the Licensing Fee?
I think it is a disgrace!

Damn, why did noone tell me about this >:-(

Damn, why did noone tell me about this >:-(
it's been about for a while. You wish to join.?

Yes, of course. I was in the original (Hogsweat, of course)

I applied to join months ago and I'm still not list. What does a chap need to get a peerage around here? Do I need to give the NBIP a loan or something?

Yes, of course. I was in the original (Hogsweat, of course)
Your hoggy, I thought youw ehre bamnned. Wait a second YOU WHERE BANNEd, I campagned against it. is this your rencarnatjion then?

I applied to join months ago and I'm still not list. What does a chap need to get a peerage around here? Do I need to give the NBIP a loan or something?
We offer very reasonable rates:

£5,000 for an MBE
£10,000 for an OBE
£15,000 for a CBE
£50,000 for a knighthood
£1,500,000 for a peerage

What can I get you, sah?

Your hoggy, I thought youw ehre bamnned. Wait a second YOU WHERE BANNEd, I campagned against it. is this your rencarnatjion then?

I wasnt' banned, I was deleted. A nice man named Wolfish said I could use this nation, so this is my British-Empire-NS nation.

We offer very reasonable rates:

£5,000 for an MBE
£10,000 for an OBE
£15,000 for a CBE
£50,000 for a knighthood
£1,500,000 for a peerage

What can I get you, sah?

I'll take a peerage, 1,500,00 B'Stard Pound, making itsway to you sah!
Does make me a party member after all? Here a list of some of me threads...

Commonwealth day, a drinking game...
Republics are fundamentally Inferior to constitutional Monarchies
Advance Britannia! Englang take the Ashes!
What with all this bloody republicanism?
The Invasion Of Iraq Is Naked Imperialism- And No Bad Thing...

I admit I can't spell (or use grammer), but neither could Shakespeare.

I was wondering with a peerage (Vicount maybe?) could I be

First Sea Lord? (I haven't checked if someone is this already)

First Sea Lord? (I haven't checked if someone is this already)

Yeah someone is

er... Lord Privy Seal?

no hold on,

Lord High Constable

The Lord High Constable of England is the seventh of the Great Officers of State, ranking beneath the Lord Great Chamberlain and above the Earl Marshal. His office is now called out of abeyance for coronations alone (and theoretically for trials by combat). The Lord High Constable was originally the commander of the royal armies and the Master of the Horse. He was also, in conjunction with the Earl Marshal, president of the Court of Chivalry or Court of Honour.

Perhaps I could be law and order,
Perhaps I'm taking this too seriously

Can I be Minister for Green and Pleasant Lands?

We offer very reasonable rates:

£5,000 for an MBE
£10,000 for an OBE
£15,000 for a CBE
£50,000 for a knighthood
£1,500,000 for a peerage

What can I get you, sah?

I say almost cheap as getting a Commision in one of the Branches in Her Majesty Army

*counts pocketses*
What do I get for 2 bob sixpence?

*counts pocketses*
What do I get for 2 bob sixpence?
hmm...

Perhaps you would be suited to our 'rent-a-peer' package? For that much, you can have a knighthood for a day, or an MBE for a week.

hmm...

Perhaps you would be suited to our 'rent-a-peer' package? For that much, you can have a knighthood for a day, or an MBE for a week.


Actually, I was hoping for something like being a middie in the RN.

I wasnt' banned, I was deleted. A nice man named Wolfish said I could use this nation, so this is my British-Empire-NS nation.
yeah i know Wolfy, is he still about. i havmn't seen him for a while.